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    Holidays on Ice: Stories
    Unavailable
    Holidays on Ice: Stories
    Unavailable
    Holidays on Ice: Stories
    Audiobook4 hours

    Holidays on Ice: Stories

    Published by Hachette Audio

    Narrated by Ann Magnuson and Amy Sedaris

    4/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    Holidays on Ice collects six of David Sedaris' most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume perfect for use as a last minute coaster or ice scraper. This drinking man's companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even in the back seat of a van or police car.

    "The SantaLand Diaries", "Dinah, the Christmas Whore", and "Season's Greetings Greetings to our Friends and Family!!!", all previously published stories, have been joined by a trio of equally charming newcomers.

    A network television executive strong arms the congregation of a small Pentecostal church in "Based on A True Story". "Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol" finds a bitter local theater critic savagely attacking the various holiday plays and pageants presented by the area's elementary schools. And finally, in "Christmas Means Giving", two competitive families celebrate the season by giving the gift of themselves.

    A Hachette Audio production.

    Editor's Note

    Home for the holidays…

    Experience the wackier side of the season with David Sedaris' collection of darkly funny holiday stories. Narrated by the author in his wonderfully distinctive style, Christmas has never sounded more hilarious.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHachette Audio
    Release dateOct 1, 2008
    ISBN9781600244889
    Unavailable
    Holidays on Ice: Stories

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    Reviews for Holidays on Ice

    4/5

    2,255 ratings102 reviews

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    • 4/5
      A really funny holiday read!
    • 4/5
      I listen to this audiobook at least once every holiday season. While I adore several of the stories, a few others have become skipable in my listening. I just really prefer Sedaris's essays to his fiction. But worth it for "Six to Eight Black Men" as well as his classic essay about working as an elf at Macy's.
    • 5/5
      A holiday tradition.....
    • 3/5
      I listened to the audio recording of David Sedaris reading this book. The story about his time at Macy's working as an elf is definitely worth the read and had me laughing quite a bit. While the other stories are entertaining, the Macy's piece was the most memorable for me. Slightly snarky and always tongue in cheek, this is a very amusing holiday collection.
    • 5/5
      This book was originally assigned reading for a Creative Non-Fiction class I took as part of a Creative Writing minor in college. We only read a few of the stories, and I always told myself I'd go back and read the whole thing. Now, I finally have. It's been one of those things I've wanted to make a regular Christmas thing for some time, but keep getting sidetracked.Of course, "Santaland Diaries" and "Dinah" are my favorites of the collection, as they are based on real life, however, the rest are just as witty and clever. Sedaris creates these situations where real people are baring their souls for some unknown reason, until you get to the end, and find that the situation is beautifully ludicrous and bizarre. This is especially the case in "Seasons Greetings," "Based Upon a True Story," and "Christmas Means Giving," where the narrators are some of the most fascinating but true-to-life people in the world. Sedaris uses what he's observed of the human condition and added an almost Douglas Adams level absurdity to what the suburban middle class will do in certain situations, especially around the Holidays.Finally, there's "Front Row Center," in which a theater critic takes on the dubious task of reviewing primary school Christmas plays and takes to the job like a seasoned, bitter professional on Broadway. To me, this is the absolute funniest of the pieces, at least as far as traditional humor goes. Here the humor comes from writer Thaddeus Bristol's brutality towards the acting of school children and the lack of skill in their grade school teachers to put together a "professional" production. The other stories rely on the absolute insanity of the situations for the humor, as the narrators take themselves quite seriously throughout.Definitely a fascinating read, and if David Sedaris is your cup of tea (and he won't be for everyone), this one is definitely worth your time.
    • 4/5
      Funny short anecdotical stories, sometimes hilarious. For Dutch readers there is a particular interesting one concerning an American's view of Sinterklaas, which leads to an absurd and funny interpretation.
    • 5/5
      a must-read.
    • 4/5
      Wickedly funny!
    • 4/5
      Another night of the public television fund drive that bounces regular programming, another night with a book. I'm not complaining. Reading is a tremendous joy for me. And, the fact that I am studying for my doctorate means my personal reading time is very limited. Thus, last night was a win-win situation. Public television got to raise much needed funding and I got to have the grand experience of uninterrupted personal reading time. I don't think I could have asked for better bookish company than essayist David Sedaris. His dark, satirical social commentary and autobiographical hijinks got me right into holiday spirits. I'm talking about booze. To survive the holidays it's best to start drinking now and not sober up until January 3rd. Trust me. Go stock up now on wine and books, and settle in under a blanket. Make certain this is one of the books you stock (you'll thank me for the recommendation). I'll send up a flare when it's all clear.
    • 1/5
      No humor in my book, sadistic and overwrought. Pointing out human foibles without any empathy, merely vicious.
    • 4/5
      This is a mixed bag.....SantaLand Diaries, which i have heard multiple times on NPR, believe it or not, actually made me laugh out loud when reading, which i did not expect. The Awkward Christmas card piece, while uncomfortable was fairly funny. A few of the 6 pieces were just lacking in my opinion, but reading the Diaries made it all worth it....proceed with caution....
    • 3/5
      Some funny moments in the book, and an interesting if strange story Sedaris' sister told. Don't like that almost half of it had the same stories as was in his other books.
    • 2/5
      while i've really enjoyed some of sedaris' other books, this one didn't do much for me. it definitely had its funny moments, but overall, i felt like i was just reading it to finish it and kinda hoped for more.
    • 2/5
      Pains me to say it, but I just didn't like it. I don't know if I didn't like it because it was so NOT like what I am used to from David Sedaris. I couldn't get past the second story. "Santaland Diaries" is fabulous, but I knew that going in. Yeah, I know, not very helpful. But if you are looking for the David Sedaris of Naked and Dress Your Family..., he ain't here.
    • 2/5
      Pains me to say it, but I just didn't like it. I don't know if I didn't like it because it was so NOT like what I am used to from David Sedaris. I couldn't get past the second story. "Santaland Diaries" is fabulous, but I knew that going in. Yeah, I know, not very helpful. But if you are looking for the David Sedaris of Naked and Dress Your Family..., he ain't here.
    • 4/5
      I laughed so hard that I cried.
    • 3/5
      "SantaLand Diaries" is absolutely hilarious. I read the first few pages of it in the bookstore, and assuming that the rest of the book would be similar, immediately bought the book. Unfortunately, "SantaLand Diaries" is about the only funny thing in the entire book. Although I can appreciate the satire found in "Us and Them," several of the book's stories were just ridiculous (particularly "Christmas Means Giving" and "Based Upon a True Story"). I'll give David Sedaris another try, hoping that this isn't his best book.
    • 4/5
      This small collection of humorous holiday-themed stories mixes personal anecdotes and fiction, and is written with David Sedaris' usual cynical, sardonic sense of humor. I expected to really like this one, because I remembered hearing Sedaris reading a couple of these pieces on This American Life and quite enjoying them. Unfortunately, it turned out that I'd actually already heard most of them there, and many of them weren't nearly as good the second time. Or maybe they're just funnier when Sedaris reads them. The standout is "The SantaLand Diaries," about the day-to-day experience of working as a department store elf, which was, in fact, every bit as funny the second time (and was also a slightly longer version than the one I originally heard on the podcast, which was nice). Otherwise, well, the rest of it wasn't at all bad, but it generally didn't do more than raise a little smile here and there. And, while I'm normally in favor of a nice black comedy, I think a couple of them were a little too dark for my current mood. I really should have saved this book for Christmastime, when they might instead have made a nice counterpoint to all the annoying holiday cheer.
    • 5/5
      My favourite book to read during the holiday season.
    • 3/5
      I enjoy the stories more when he writes it as if he is the main character. The first story, The Santaland Diaries, I loved! The other stories I could have done with out.
    • 3/5
      David Sedaris's vision of the Dutch Saint Nicholas made me laugh so hard I almost fell off my sofa. His classic Santaland Diaries is also included in this essay collection. But it was Saint Nicholas acoompanied by his six to eight Black men that got me giggling.
    • 5/5
      One of the funniest collections ever. The Santa essay was made into a play, which I saw last year. Many other hilarious entries in this collection as well. If you get the chance to see David Sedaris read live somewhere, grab it!
    • 5/5
      Perhaps more appropriate before the holidays than after, this was the best book I have read in a long time. Funny, witty, and cool, it was quite simply incredible!! I've been wanting to read something by him for quite some time and it was certainly worth the wait!
    • 3/5
      This was funny, but in my opinion many of the segments were too long. The second CD isn't even worth it - at parts I felt it was trying too hard. The third CD is the best. I have read other Sedaris works, but this just didn't do it for me.
    • 4/5
      Some families gather 'round on Christmas Eve to read A Christmas Carol, or The Night Before Christmas, or, like, the Bible or something. I have dreams of gathering my future family for holiday storytime with Dinah, the Christmas Whore and Santaland Diaries.
    • 3/5
      This collection of short stories and essays remind the reader of the complete and utter absurdity of the holidays. The best of the selections is undeniably Sedaris's memoir of working as an elf in the Santa display at Macy's in Manhattan. Tales from the Santa line are just as absurd as one might expect. Sedaris's maligning of children's Christmas pageants is good too. The other stories were not as funny. This confirms what I've always suspected about Sedaris, which is that he shines in the humorous memoir genre. And really, he is quite a funny man. The non-memoir material means that this is not the strongest of his work. It's good for a holiday chuckle, and probably best for those who have to face crazy holiday relatives, but this is by no means the best of Sedaris.
    • 4/5
      Holidays on Ice started strong with The Santaland Diaries. My other favorite was Six to Eight Black Men. Some of the others I wasn't crazy about or I didn't appreciate until later. Christmas Means Giving was the best example of one I didn't like when I read it but in the following days it kept coming to mind when I looked around at the crazed holiday shoppers. I can see me rereading this year after year to inject a little needed sarcasm into an otherwise saccharine sweet or over-commercialized season.
    • 4/5
      If you are looking for heartwarming holiday stories, this is not your book. If you enjoy stinging satire, check it out.
    • 3/5
      Oh, David Sedaris, I know I'm supposed to like your writing. In fact, every single person I know who loves your writing points out that by all accounts, it's exactly the sort of thing that I'd find funny. And I do. Vaguely.Let me explain. This is the second time that I've read Holidays on Ice. I don't remember being all that impressed with it the first time I read it, but it was so long ago, and people's tastes change over the years, so I thought I'd give it another try. And unfortunately, I still didn't find all of it that funny. The first story, about Secaris's time as a Macy's holiday elf, was good. I truly think this is where Sedaris shines, talking about his personal experiences. He's one of those people that always seems to be in the right place at the right time to witness the most bizarre in the people in the people and situations around him.It's when he starts in on his fictional stories that he seems to take things just one step too far. The stories always seem to start out funny, but then they just don't stop. He tries to push the envelope of funny and ridiculous every time, and I find myself just skimming through the second half of the story, because it just seems to be the same thing, repeated over and over and over.Don't get me wrong. I can appreciate the genius that is David Sedaris. I just think that his humor may be one step beyond my comfort zone, and I just have a hard time relating to his style of writing. For his fans, however, I know that this book is a true treasure.
    • 3/5
      Cute, funny, holiday stories, in typical Sedaris style. A quick read perfect for December.