Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Unavailable
    Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
    Unavailable
    Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
    Unavailable
    Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
    Audiobook10 hours

    Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office

    Written by Jen Lancaster

    Narrated by Jamie Heinlein

    4/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    Unabridged 11 hours

    This is the smart-mouthed, soul- searching story of a woman trying to figure out what happens next when she's gone from six figures to unemployment checks and she stops to reconsider some of the less-than-rosy attitudes and values she thought she'd never have to answer for when times were good.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPenguin Random House Audio
    Release dateMay 12, 2009
    ISBN9781440641077
    Unavailable
    Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
    Author

    Jen Lancaster

    JEN LANCASTER is a New York Times bestselling author who has sold well over a million books. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, Jen has made a career out of documenting her attempts to shape up, grow up and have it all—sometimes with disastrous results. Her novel Here I Go Again received three starred reviews (Kirkus Reviews, Booklist and Publishers Weekly). Her memoir I Regret Nothing was named an Amazon Best Book of the Year, and she’s regularly a finalist in the Goodreads Choice Awards. Jen has appeared on The Today Show, as well as CBS This Morning, Fox News, NPR All Things Considered and The Joy Behar Show, among others. She lives in Chicago with her husband and her many dogs and cats. Visit her website, jenlancaster.com, and find her on Twitter, @altgeldshrugged.

    More audiobooks from Jen Lancaster

    Related to Bitter is the New Black

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Select One

      Dec 12, 2020

      I’VE NEVER BEEN THAT INTERESTED IN PERSONALity tests. Probably because I’m one of those people whose personality can be summed up in a single word: loud. I voice my opinion in meetings. I sling jokes at happy hour. I ignore the glares of my fellow br

      2 min read

    Reviews for Bitter is the New Black

    4/5

    650 ratings58 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 4/5
      My sister made me read this book. No, really, she did. There was a deal involved and as part of it I found myself downloading this book to my Kindle while on the phone with my sister. (I would like it noted for posterity that my sister has yet to keep her part of the bargain.)

      At the beginning of the book I was thinking "Who is this Jen Lancaster? I hate her." I know she assured her readers she really was that bad but who believes that sort of assurance? In this case it's true, she really was that bad. I kept wondering why my sister wanted me to read this book. Was I that bad? Did she really think I could relate to this terrible person? OH MY GOD WHY DOES MY SISTER HATE ME?! You see where this was going.

      But then I started laughing. First a little chuckle, then a guffaw, and finally some of that truly dignified laughing complete with streaming tears and some snorting. Because Jen Lancaster is funny. She knows who she is--good parts and bad--and she tells a great story. And she never hesitates to laugh at herself.

      If I play my cards right my sister--who had better keep her part of the bargain--will buy me these books for many holidays to come. If you don't have a sister you might have to buy them yourself but, trust me, it's worth it.
    • 4/5
      I'm so glad I read Jeneration X first, because Lancaster isn't very likable at the beginning of her first book. She's all about style, shoes, having the most money, and buying anything she wants - even if it's a couch that can't be sat on. That being said, she never acts like an entitled bitch - she works 60 hours a week for her money. Thankfully, she still has her sarcasm and sense of humor, so the beginning is easy to read, even if you don't really care about Jen as a person. (Who gets married just for the money? Ok, probably a lot of people.) In the second half of the book, Jen is searching for a job after being laid off with no reason. She still wants to have a lot of money, and still buys new sweater sets and shoes, despite having to take that money out of her savings account. Still, she's becoming a better person - volunteering, fostering dogs, searching diligently for a job while ashamed of being on unemployment, emotionally supporting her husband. She undergoes a massive change when she realizes she never should have been living so materialistically in her past. She begins writing and realizes that she doesn't want to go back to working her ass off at an office for money, because she wants to truly enjoy life.
    • 5/5
      She makes me actually laugh, not just smile but snort and chortle. I doubt I'd get along with her in real life due to her politics but still she lives near me and I keep hoping to see her buying kale salad at Whole Foods or cheese at Sunset Foods.
    • 5/5
      HILARIOUS!!!!
    • 3/5
      Jen Lancaster. Best. Author. Ever.
    • 3/5
      I had a great time reading this book. Jen Lancaster's books are always a fun adventure. Some nice, light reading.
    • 4/5
      Snarky to the max!
    • 3/5
      Fun, light, but relatable read. I expected to hate the main character from the title, but I actually really liked her. I will read more of her books.
    • 5/5
      Damnit, this book was funny. It's a story of a girl who made it big in the dot com era, only to find it all come crashing down. She tells the story not in a "woe is me" way, but in a way I think we can all relate to. (ok, maybe some of us have never owned a Prada bag, but you get the idea). I picked it up because I liked the title and I'm very glad I did. I love her sense of humor and really related to her experiences in Chicago. I have found one of my favorite authors and plan on reading everything she writes*. *Even though this book of hers is still my favorite.
    • 4/5
      A scathing memoir of a laid-off career woman. Completely misled and betrayed by her company, Jen finds herself without a job in the biggest market bust since the Great Depression. Snarky and sarcastic throughout her growing poverty and travails, Jen manages to turn her greatest misfortune into her greatest success.
    • 3/5
      She's a funny author but I doubt I would read anymore of her books. I can't see them being any different than this one. I skimmed a bunch of her blog entries because they were boring and not funny. I have really mixed feelings about the book because the content isn't quality plot but she was pretty darn funny. Conflicted..hmm...
    • 4/5
      Jen Lancaster was a rich, snobby corporate woman who was suddenly laid off from her job. She spiralled downward from her lush lifestyle, while being unemployed for a couple of years. She tells her own story in this memoir.The first little bit, while she was still employed, I wasn't sure if I'd like the book or not. I hated Jen! She treated people horribly, and I didn't find the book funny. She was far too sarcastic for my liking. BUT... after she was laid off, I actually started to laugh at some of her comments (I'm not sure if she mellowed in her comments, or if I just got more used to her sarcasm as I read - maybe a bit of both), and the good thing is that she actually learned something about how lavishly she lived her life and wasted money, thinking it would always be there. What a shock when it wasn't! I actually ended up really liking the book and it was funny. So, ultimately, I did enjoy the book, and I will read more by Lancaster.
    • 3/5
      Chic Lit is not my normal genre but this was recommended and I was in the mood for something different. At first I hated Jen and I coudn't imagine spending hours with her during this book (I missed the tagline after Bitter is the New Black, there was total truth in advertising), but she grew on me. She very smart and witty and because slowly away of her own shortcomings which was endearing. I couldn't help but love Fletch, because that man is a saint. They made a great couple. In the end I really enjoyed this book and might even consider another foray into chic lit with this author.
    • 5/5
      Thank god that I had read Jeneration X before I read this. I probably would have put this down had that not been the case. Don't get me wrong, it's a great and funny read, but Jen is so unlikable at the beginning of the book that I would never have finished. She is quintessential yuppie. She and her husband make and spend lots of dough. They look down on us plebes from their wealthy perch. Until Jen is laid off after a merger. Then she, very slowly, begins to be a human. Loved this book, can't wait to read the next one!
    • 4/5
      Very easy to read book and would be a great beach read. The writing is engaging and full of humor. Lancaster's memoir reads just like a novel.
    • 2/5
      I actually listened to this one, and found it very amusing. However, I discovered that a little sarcastic and sardonic wit goes a long way. I would rather have a drink with the author than read another of hers. To write a book, let alone a number of them, where the author is the main character borders on the narcissistic.

      I didn't dislike it, but I can't recommend it.
    • 3/5
      Jen Lancaster ist ein echter Shopaholic und egozentrisch noch dazu. Dann wird sie plötzlich arbeitslos und findet auch nichts mehr, trotz Hunderten von Bewerbungen.Jen und ich würden uns im echten Leben wohl nicht mögen - unsere Wertvorstellungen, politischen Einstellungen usw. sind viel zu unterschiedlich. Das Buch fand ich aber zum Teil sehr amüsant, manches Mal musste ich laut losprusten. Jens Selbstironie ist köstlich. Allerdings wird es auf die Dauer etwas redundant. Trotzdem - lustig ist es!
    • 3/5
      Chick-lit-memoir which started off horrible but got much better. I was feeling rather sympathetic by the end, and plan to read the sequel.
    • 4/5
      This is my 2nd Jen Lancaster book, and like the first, I really enjoyed it. There are parts of this book that I read over and over (the back cover, The Jen Commandments) and know I will want to read again. Although there were times in the 1st half of the book when Jen's conspicuous consumption, arrogance, rudeness, and elitism were annoying, she clearly recognizes her faults enough to laugh at them. And I appreciate the fact that she really learns her lesson without changing who she is. I look forward to reading more in the world of Jennsylvania!
    • 3/5
      Listened to from May 10-17, 2012Audio Book -- I never felt bad for Jen Lancaster while listening to her story...probably because she never really felt bad for herself. And she's kind of annoying. It wasn't as funny as I thought it would be, I think I expected more laugh out loud moments. But I'm still willing to listen to more by the woman that narrated this one...and if Jen Lancaster wrote it.
    • 3/5
      This book came highly recommended by several people and, after reading it, I can sort of see why. I thought the author was hilarious at moments and I definitely enjoyed her storytelling. I just found her annoying for a large portion of the book. I could totally see why companies wouldn't hire her if her attitude in interviews was even 70% of the attitude she portrays (though usually, I hope, tongue-in-cheek) in her memoir. She made me laugh, and laugh hard at many points, so I'll definitely continue to read her work--especially since Danielle says the second one is better than the first.
    • 5/5
      Damnit, this book was funny. It's a story of a girl who made it big in the dot com era, only to find it all come crashing down. She tells the story not in a "woe is me" way, but in a way I think we can all relate to. (ok, maybe some of us have never owned a Prada bag, but you get the idea). I picked it up because I liked the title and I'm very glad I did. I love her sense of humor and really related to her experiences in Chicago. I have found one of my favorite authors and plan on reading everything she writes*. *Even though this book of hers is still my favorite.
    • 1/5
      I couldn't finished this snarky, "I'm so beautiful and so smart and so talented" how could I possibly be laid off when I have "such a wonderful apartment, I dress so great, I am such a fashion icon" memoir.
    • 4/5
      Lancaster was living the good life, with a huge Chicago apartment, a huge paycheck, a huge shopping problem, and a huge ego. Then she gets laid off and spends the next couple years unemployed. This sort of major reality check wouldn't have been nearly as entertaining were Lancaster not so unafraid to paint herself in a less than flattering light. And she is hilarious. She writes in such a way that I can completely hear her voice and inflection. The footnotes were often even funnier than the main text. If you're looking for a fun beach read, this is a good bet.
    • 5/5
      A riches to rags story. Humorous and funny novel with truths of human nature intertwined throughout the story. The characters are believable and I found myself rooting for them by the end of the novel.
    • 3/5
      Losing a job is terrifying and reading about it probably doesn’t sound like much fun either. However, Lancaster seems to be able to turn anything into a hysterical, fun-filled ride. That’s not to imply that Lancaster is flippant about her situation (though she is a tiny bit). Lancaster details quite honestly her life before and after the economic downturn and is very precise about the conditions and situations in which she and her husband find themselves. But she also manages to find the humor in their situations, like taking her Prada purse to the unemployment office.Lancaster comes off as a little obnoxious in the beginning of this book, but I think that is important to the person she becomes through her financial trials. I really enjoyed this book and, like Lancaster’s other works, highly recommend it.
    • 3/5
      Oh, how I wanted to love this book. But, unfortunately, I really didn't care for Jen for the whole first part of the memoir as she was describing her superior job skills and fashion sense. I couldn't connect to her as a reader, and I found her superior attitude annoying (maybe if I cared more about name-brand fashion I would feel differently). However, as soon as she got laid off and had to deal with the unemployment office, frugality, and the never-ending job search, bam! Now we were on the same page. I've never been in the world of high finance and fashion, but I have been in the world of job searches, desperation, and lowered standards. I liked that Jen seemed to learn her lesson at the end (money isn't everything) but she kept her witty attitude toward life and didn't let the setbacks get her down. If I were to read more of her work, I would definitely be selective in the books I chose, looking for more of the can't-keep-me-down Jen rather than the I'm-superior-at-everything Jen.
    • 4/5
      Jen Lancaster’s memoir is an unflinching, yet deeply funny, look at herself and her over-the-top life. She is the embodiment of why I avoided sororities like the plague in college. She’s mean to everyone around her, always wants to be the center of attention, spends money like there’s no tomorrow and generally thinks she’s better than everyone on the planet. That being said, she can be hilarious and she understands that she is all of the above. She’s proudly proclaims, throughout the book, that she’s a “huge bitch.” For the first half of the book I just couldn’t get past Jen’s general attitude towards those around her. Somewhere along the way (after getting laid off) she seems to recognize that humility isn’t a bad word and she becomes tolerable. She absolutely has a strong voice and a really funny way of describing things; I understand how she got a book deal after writing her blog. She’s personable and I felt like I knew both her and her husband Fletch.Bottom line: Did I like reading Jen’s snarky memoir? Yes. Would I want her as a friend or co-worker? Absolutely not.
    • 5/5
      This book was hystrical! I saw a bit of myself in Jen, and I love her snarky wit. It kept me entertained, and in my opinion, shows a bit of the struggle of my (and Jen's) generation.
    • 3/5
      Even though many of Jen Lancaster's actions are a tad over-the-top (you spend how much on rent?!), her first memoir is a hilarious look at unemployment after 9/11 and the dot-com bust.