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Lost Boy
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Lost Boy
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Lost Boy
Audiobook8 hours

Lost Boy

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

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About this audiobook

In the polygamous Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (FLDS), girls can become valuable property as plural wives, but boys are expendable, even a liability. In this powerful and heartbreaking account, former FLDS member Brent Jeffs reveals both the terror and the love he experienced growing up on his prophet's compound-and the harsh exile existence that so many boys face once they have been expelled by the sect.

Brent Jeffs is the nephew of Warren Jeffs, the imprisoned leader of the FLDS. The son of a prominent family in the church, Brent could have grown up to have multiple wives of his own and significant power in the 10,000-strong community. But he knew that behind the group's pious public image-women in chaste dresses carrying babies on their hips-lay a much darker reality. So he walked away, and was the first to file a sexual-abuse lawsuit against his uncle. Now Brent shares his courageous story and that of many other young men who have become "lost boys" when they leave the FLDS, either by choice or by expulsion.

Brent experienced firsthand the absolute power that church leaders wield-the kind of power that corrupts and perverts those who will do anything to maintain it. Once young men no longer belong to the church, they are cast out into a world for which they are utterly unprepared. More often than not, they succumb to the temptations of alcohol and other drugs.

Tragically, Brent lost two of his brothers in this struggle, one to suicide, the other to overdose. In this book he shows that lost boys can triumph and that abuse and trauma can be overcome, and he hopes that readers will be inspired to help former FLDS members find their way in the world.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateMay 19, 2009
ISBN9780307578129
Unavailable
Lost Boy

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Rating: 3.757573535353535 out of 5 stars
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  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Another book written by a child growing up in the Fundamentalist Mormon church under the rule of the "Jeff's" Family.
    Some of the abuse was rather vivid and made me uncomfortable to read so I passed over it. Again, as I did when reading Elissa's story, I felt the author needed to beg the reader to believe his story. Not that it is unbelieveable, considering how many people have come foreward, but because so many of the people who stay in the faith are denying any negative stories.
    I felt his pain and how he had no hope or escape until he was not needed anymore. I do find it hard to believe that boys are thrown aside by the thousands so that the young girls are for the older men to marry. How can a faith keep populated when sending all the young men away? I don't think Warren Jeff's father (in his 80's) was having sex regularly with his 100 wives. But then, that is another book and another story.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Very well told history. I feel bad for how little I paid attention to the news at the time. I puts in perspective the worries I have had as a parent, who want safety, education, and a chance for my children to persue happiness and their chance to contribute to society.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This was a wonderful activism story! Loved learning more about the lost boys after learning about them in another FLDS book. This was a very quick read and loved how it was not repetitive of facts.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Brent Jeffs was born into the FLDS, the polygamous Mormon sect. His father had three wives and numerous children. Warren Jeffs, who later became the “prophet” after his father (and Brent's grandfather) died, is Brent's uncle. Brent and many of his older brothers left the FLDS, and their parents were also excommunicated. This is Brent's story. I've read a few autobiographies of former FLDS members, so I suppose there wasn't too much shocking to me in this one. What was different about this one (for me), though, was that it was from a male point of view. Many of the boys who leave or are kicked out of the FLDS for some reason or other end up having a hard time outside their culture and often turn to drugs, etc. So, for me, this was a different viewpoint on a topic I've read a bit about already. Easy to read and still very interesting.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was a good book on the life of a boy in the Mormon Religion. I have read other books about the Mormon religion but always from a females perspective. It always amazes me how a few bad people can brainwash hundreds.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Amazing look into the life of a former fundamental Mormon. I was amazed that this story occurred in contemporary times. Very good book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    In the polygamous Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS), girls can become valuable property as plural wives but boys are expendable, even a liability. In this powerful and heartbreaking account, former FLDS member Brett Jeffs reveals both the terror and the love he experienced growing up on his prophet's compound - and the harsh exile existence that so many boys face once they're expelled from the sect.The most memorable FLDS member in current time is past leader Warren Jeffs who is now in prison for multiple offenses. Brett Jeffs is his nephew and could have grown up to have multiple wives and power within the church. After realizing that there were darker secrets behind the church's pious public image he walked away and was the first to file sexual abuse charges against his uncle.He shares the history of the Mormon church and startling details of his own life growing up in a polygamous family. He describes how harsh and isolated life was and the fact that his uncle, the prophet, maintained absolute power and could change the rules at will and often did. Their religion demanded complete obedience with no individuality and the reality of the outside world was distorted and viewed as evil. Since multiple wives are encouraged, young men are seen as competition and are often cast out unprepared for the real world. They frequently turn to drugs and alcohol and suffer emotional and psychological distress.Eventually Brent Jeffs left the church with his whole family, which was highly unusual, but continued to live a polygamous life. This is usually hard to do outside of the FLDS. Fortunately they had the love and support of each other, which is also unusual. Brett Jeffs repressed memories of his uncle molesting him and other boys ages 5-7, eventually led him to press charges against him. He tells of his own struggles into adulthood and what has become of him and his family members. He has also helped establish support for other lost boys so their own transition may be easier than his was.I was fascinated by the insight Brent Jeffs provided into the FLDS. It's sickening to realize how much power an individual can have over so many other lives and the corruption that was involved under the guise of religion and God. I'll be curious to see how these lost boys and others from the community will fare in the future. I hope that this man's courage will help them to all have an easier life. If this is a topic of interest I would highly recommend this book.Thank you to LibraryThing Early Reviewers for a copy of this book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Brent Jeffs gives a harrowing account of his experience growing up in and later leaving the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS). His recollection of events that took place in his polygamous family provided insight into some of the struggles a household with more than one wife/mother might face. Brent also explains why boys, even those from privileged FLDS families, are not guaranteed a spot in church leadership and that many are kicked out of the church and abandoned by their families only to become “lost boys.” Brent tells his story with the assistance of Maia Szalavitz, and her style makes the book compelling to read and easy to follow. At times the descriptions of Brent smoking “chronic” and listening to rap were hard to picture, but then again, much in the book was hard to imagine. The book was upsetting at times, but I was impressed by Brent Jeffs’ bravery at facing a world that he was raised not to trust and ultimately seeking justice against those who wronged him.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I have always been fascinated with the FLDS church and polygamy. I have a lot of books on the subject but haven't made the time to read most of them yet. When I received Lost Boy to review from LibraryThing I was very excited.Jeffs story is fascinating. I was pulled into it right from the start and read the entire book in two sittings. The detail he provides along with all the colorful, and unbelievable, people in his life, make Lost Boy unforgettable. The story is told in almost a conversational tone, and while that worked great in some parts, in other parts in came of as unpolished. I was actually surprised that there was another author credited on Lost Boy with the informal feel of the book.If you are interested in polygamy or the FLDS Church I highly recommend Lost Boy.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Clear description of how the FLDS church works and why its people behave the way they do. But the book was marred by Brent Jeffs' eagerness to present himself as one who questioned the faith -- as a 6-year-old? -- and its flat tone made me reluctant to believe all he said.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    More than anything else I have read about the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints, this book gives you a real feeling of what it's like to grow up in the church - and later be kicked out of it. He had a lot of good times growing upad: his love for his brothers, the fishing trips with his father, big community events that brought out the best in their community. But there were also problems. How can there not be when one man is juggling three wives (two of whom are sisters who didn't get along when they lived at home, the third a teenager from a dysfunctional family), 20 kids and a demanding religion?To an outsider, the religion's tenets make it a prime target for abuse. The primary tenet of the religion is complete obedience. The Prophet can change the rules at will, because he receives instructions directly from God. Members are taught from childhood that everyone outside their religion is bad - evil, corrupt and untrustworthy - so they have little contact with the outside world. When you believe that one man holds the fate of your immortal soul, how do you turn away from him?The book is full of detail about their daily lives, something I often found missing in other books about the FLDS. What they wore, how they were educated, the logistics of such a large household and the crazy rules they lived by. They were taught, for example, that the Earth was made up of bits and pieces of previous worlds. Men who had married the at least 3 wives and were granted access to the celestial heaven would have their own planet, populated with their wives and children. Bits of these leftover worlds were used to make the Earth, so dinosaur bones were a relic of one of those other worlds, not something that walked on Earth, necessarily. No outsider would believe a story like that! But when it's all you've known, it probably seems more reasonable.Through the years, Brent Jeffs and his brothers have suffered for their parents' obedience. They were sexually abused by Warren Jeffs, aided by two of his brothers. They had problems with alcohol and drugs after being throw out of the church (their family was excommunicated because their father invited his eldest son back home after the death of his infant daughter). They had very little education, no idea of how to survive in the modern world and they were ill-equipped to make their own way. Brent Jeff's lawsuit, along with the claims of other Lost Boys. were instrumental in bringing some sort of justice to Warren Jeffs. Still, the book highlights just how difficult it is to break up this cult. It was not so long ago that authorities took mroe than 400 children from their families, in a move that was highly criticized. There is little doubt that these children are at risk for abuse, but how do you protect them when that abuse is a central part of their religious belief? The book is well-written and seems very clearly told in Brent's own words. He presents the whole story - black, white and chades of gray. The only thing I really missed was information about his sisters. He talks at length about his brothers and how they fared, but it made me wonder about the rest of his family.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    There were a lot of great things about this book. First, Jeffs’ story pulls you in from the beginning and the book is VERY hard to put down. His accounts of what life was like in the FLDS church were fascinating to read about, and even though I had already read these same types of stories from two other perspectives, both perspectives were female so it was very interesting to hear about his life as a child from a male’s point of view. It was interesting to me that Jeffs questioned his family’s lifestyle even as a child; since he had the benefit of a public school education for kindergarten he saw firsthand that his way of life was not exactly “normal” and so he started having independent thoughts about polygamy even as a little kid. I was also fascinated by the dynamics of his immediate family, which was his father, his mother, and his father’s other two wives (one of whom was also his aunt/mother’s sister). What was interesting was that since his parents had both been raised in the church, even Jeffs’ mother was excited when the second wife (her sister) married his dad. Everyone in the family truly believed in the principle, even when things got incredibly tough between the sisters conflict-wise, Brent’s mother always believed that they were doing the right thing in the eyes of God by practicing polygamy.Brent Jeffs’ story is different from other polygamy memoirs because his family actually all left the church together. Technically, they were declared apostates and forced out, but when Jeffs left the church he took his parents, brothers, and sisters all with him, unlike most individuals who leave the church. This was interesting because even though his parents left the church, they still remained polygamous and their struggles living polygamy without the shelter of the FLDS were very interesting to read about. Another thing that was different about Jeffs’ memoir was that he really “outed” Warren Jeffs, his uncle and prophet of the FLDS church for several years before finally being arrested and given a very long sentence last year. Warren Jeffs, in addition to his many crimes against the women and children in the FLDS, raped Brent Jeffs and many other boys for years when the boys were between the ages of five and seven. In fact, Brent along with two of his brothers had repressed these memories for years because of how painful they were. Brent himself didn’t even recall the abuse until he was hypnotized in therapy as an adult. Brent and his brothers were the main force behind getting Warren Jeffs caught and captured. Because Jeffs’ memoir is so new, there was a lot of information in the book about Warren Jeffs not previously revealed in other polygamy memoirs.One aspect of this book really fell short for me, I have to admit, and that is the quality of the writing. It seems that Jeffs had a co-writer, but even with her assistance, the book is not written all that well. Jeffs wrote in a very conversational style, which was nice when reading the book – the reader really feels like he is telling him/her his story. But, it’s almost TOO conversational – some sentences don’t make a lot of sense, there’s a lot of slang and swear words, and tons of sentence fragments, run-on sentences, etc. Personally, I don’t normally pay too much attention to writing style, but it was starting to get in the way of my enjoyment of the book in this case. I really feel bad for criticizing what was otherwise a pretty good book, but it stuck out so much to me that I feel compelled to mention it.Generally, if you are interested in polygamy (as I know MANY of you are!) Lost Boy is well worth the read. Brent Jeffs provides a new and interesting perspective to the story of the FLDS church and his story really needs to be heard. I’m glad, for his sake and ours, that he had the opportunity to tell it.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Brent Jeffs was part of a family of polygamist royalty as the grandson of FLDS prophet Rulon Jeffs. Unfortunately, this did not translate into an easy life. Brent's father Ward was the only one of Rulon's sons to go to Vietnam and he returned with PTSD. Add to this the fact that two of Ward's three sister-wives were actually sisters who had never gotten along and the third was a supremely messed up teenager who married him to get away from a controlling mother and didn't seem to know how to interact with other people, particularly children, and you can start to see why Brent's life may not have been very easy.However, things did not stop there. When Brent and some of his brothers were around 5 years old, they were molested by their uncle Warren Jeffs, the man who would later take over his father Rulon's position as FLDS prophet. Warren molested them only from about ages 5-7, but afterwards seemed determined to make life difficult for them - not a hard task since he was the principal of their school. This led Brent and many of his brothers, all of whom seem to have initially repressed these memories, to become rather troubled adolescents.This was a very interesting book. It seems that most books dealing with polygamy and FLDS explore the effect this life has on women. In "Lost Boy," we see the effect it can have both on the boys who are pushed out and the men who are more fully integrated into the polygamous adult male life style, like Brent's father. The writing isn't the best - there are far too many exclamation points! in some places - but it is serviceable. This is not the sort of book you read looking for lovely prose anyway, you read it to learn what is happening perhaps only miles from where you live. By that metric, I think this book succeeds. I found it to be an interesting and informative read, and one I would recommend to people interested in this topic.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I was pretty happy when I found out that I was being sent a copy of LOST BOY by Brent W. Jeffs with Maia Szalavitz as part of the Library Thing Early Reviewer Program. I am a regular viewer of the HBO series Big Love, and I'm strangely fascinated with the beliefs of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (FLDS.) I knew this book was going to be one of those tell-all books, but I had no idea just how amazing Brent Jeffs' story is.It's difficult to say that I could actually enjoy a book like this, so I'll say that I found it very interesting and almost unbelievable. When I use the term "unbelievable," I don't mean that I didn't find the book truthful; rather I am just blown away by Brent Jeffs' story. As I read this book, I was utterly disgusted by how much damage Warren Jeffs did to so many people. I almost hate to admit this, but one of the main reasons I wanted to read this book was to get details about Warren Jeffs. I'm not going to go into specifics here because I don't want to give away too much of Jeffs' story; however, suffice it to say, that the mental and physical abuse that took place in this church is horrific.I guess what amazed me most about this book was that ultimately, it wasn't just a sensationalized account of Warren Jeffs and the FLDS. As sad as this book was (and it is very, very sad), I actually found this book to be uplifting. I have so much respect for Brent Jeffs. I am amazed by how he was able to work through his problems (unlike so many members of his family) and eventually find love and happiness. I can't imagine even surviving what Brent Jeffs went though, but that he was able to open up and share his story with so many others is remarkably brave to me. Even when he decided to go after Warren Jeffs, his motives were about saving others -- he didn't do it for financial gain.I also thought it was very interesting how the author portrayed his parents. Despite their questionable parenting skills, he shows them as loving parents who were caught up in a bad situation. It was clear that he has a good relationship with both of his parents and loves them despite their lack of support when he was young. He also showed how difficult the FLDS rules were for his parents to follow, and I eventually found myself feeling sorry for them (once I got over my anger for certain aspects of their behavior.) I think the love of his family and his respect for his parents helped him work through his abuse and start a new life.I was a little bit surprised that Brent Jeffs wrote this book with another author because at times, I didn't really think the writing was polished. I thought the first part of the book was much rougher than the second. I'm not sure if the writing detracted from my appreciation of the book because it read like Brent Jeffs was telling his story to me -- maybe that was the authors' and editors' intent. All I'm saying is that I was surprised to find that someone helped him write it.If your book club enjoys reading non-fiction or memoirs, then LOST BOY might be a good fit for your group. I was slightly surprised that there is a reading guide available for this book, but the more I think about it, the more I can see the value in discussing this book. I thought the discussion questions were very thought-provoking, and I think it would be very interesting to hear my friends' opinions on Brent Jeffs and his family. In fact, as I was reading this book, I kept telling my family and friends things that happened in this book because I so wanted to talk about it with someone!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Brent Jeffs is part of a Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) royal family. The FLDS is a splinter group that, decades ago, broke away from mainstream Mormonism over the issue of polygamy, and Brent’s grandfather Rulon Jeffs became the church’s prophet in 1986. His son (Brent’s uncle), Warren Jeffs, an incredibly evil man who almost destroyed Brent’s family, succeeded Rulon Jeffs in that all-powerful position. “Lost Boy” is Brent’s eye-opening account of what it was like to grow up in that cult under the leadership of his uncle. Brent Jeffs was raised in a polygamous family, one that included three sister-wives and something like twenty brothers, sisters, half-brothers and half-sisters. His mother was the first to marry Brent’s father but she eventually lost her family leadership role when a younger, more aggressive wife became her husband’s favorite. That her husband’s second wife was her own blood sister made the loss of stature and affection even more difficult for Brent’s mother to accept. The second wife would be followed by a third, this time a sixteen-year-old, but his mother’s younger sister would maintain her hold on Brent’s father for years to come.Brent vividly describes the frustrations involved in growing up inside a polygamous family, the petty jealousies and rivalries between the wives and the children and the constant struggle to get the attention of a father who could not possibly pay adequate attention to the emotional needs of all of his children. It was this lack of parental awareness that allowed Warren Jeffs to get away with sexually abusing Brent and two of his older brothers when each was around the age of five. Warren Jeffs, during the period in which he abused the boys, was the most dangerous kind of pervert there is: a pervert with absolute power over his victims and their families. His power to excommunicate church members, a process in which they would lose their homes and their jobs before being forced to live in a world for which they were unprepared, made his crimes not only possible, but easy. The book’s title, “Lost Boy,” refers to the several hundred teenage boys Warren Jeffs kicked out of the community because he saw them as rivals for the hands of their young female peers, girls and young women Warren and his followers wanted to add to their own collection of wives. Many of the excommunicated boys, such as Brent himself, turned to drugs and alcohol to survive the world into which they were suddenly tossed. Some of the least prepared, usually the ones with no family members already on the outside, were forced into male prostitution in order to survive on their own.Brent Jeffs, despite his tough transition, found the courage to confront his Uncle Warren Jeffs in a courtroom. He survived his early years, seems to be doing well these days, and “Lost Boy” is his very personal story of the horror he faced as a child. Surprisingly, however, the book is written in such a dry style that it is difficult to emotionally bond with the author despite his willingness to share his deepest secrets. The writing is straightforward to the degree that it becomes flat and somewhat repetitive at times, a tendency that slows down the pace at which one expects a story like this one to be told. But this is an important story and Brent Jeffs must be commended for having the courage, first, to stand up to the pervert who so deeply damaged him and his family and, second, to share his story with the rest of us. Rated at: 3.0
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I really didn't like this book like I thought I would. It read like a textbook and I really didn't care for the writing style at all. As others have said, not sure who really wrote the book, Jeffs or Szalavitz.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Last month when we were travelling to Arizona we stopped in Moab, Utah for a few nights of camping, and enjoyed the sunsets with a some beer, in this case, Polygamy Porter. Why have just one? The Lost Boy, Brent Jeffs, was raised in a family with three sister-mothers and twenty or so children. His grandfather was their powerful prophet, his uncle was the infamous Warren Jeffs, now serving jail time for accomplice to rape. Although Brent was led to believe that he was "in a chosen family in a chosen people" and would one day become a god himself, his story reveals "the shiny, smiling surfaces often hide a world of rot and pain."Brent tells his story simply, letting the facts speak for themselves. He tells about not only the darkness and injustices of life in this sect, but also about the happy times, few though they were. The members of this group are kept ignorant of much of the world, brainwashed by repetition of what they are expected to believe. Obedience is everything, and even faced with the reality of what they have endured, many cannot face the guilt associated with rebellion. Some women escape the group and many return, unable to assimilate to life in a world with which they are so unfamiliar. But many more boys leave the cult, since they are unnecessary. Do the math, plural wives mean a surplus of males. Their families are expected to shun them, and many do. The boys are left with no supports and in their exile often turn to drugs and alcohol. Brent's hope is to help these lost boys overcome the trauma of the harsh abuses they have suffered.The book is absorbing and easy to read, with Brent's adolescent voice organized by his co-writer's skill. Maia Szalavitz injects references to world events that help set the time line and attempts to build momentum with simple foreshadowing. They make a good writing pair. The publisher encourages us to watch footage on YouTube: search "Lost Boy by Brent Jeffs" and to visit Brent's Facebook page. Both are worthwhile.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I received this book as part of the Early Reviewers program and I continue to be fascinated by the books that are chosen to be sent to me. I have read numerous books over the years about both the FLDS and LDS, starting with Sonja Johnson's book over 20 years ago entitled, "From Housewife to Heretic". Even though I had this previous education, reading a book from the perspective of a male who was born into the "right" family was a real eye-opener and it left me wondering why none of the other memoirs I had read ever broached this issue. The actual "structure" of the writing seemed a little unfinished and I thought it could have used a bit more editing, but the story was compelling and I did not find myself disinterested in any portion of the telling of events. Neither was I surprised to hear of the broken lives that were left behind. I was a bit struck by the obvious admiration Brent had for his father and the lengths he went to in making sure we knew he was "above" many of the men who take on plural marriage, going into great detail about how long it took his father to "deflower" each new wife. Those parts made me wonder why he would have that knowledge and why it would figure as so central to the telling of the story. That being said, I'm sure that Brent found it cathartic to write this recounting of his life growing up in FDLS and I'm happy to have the opportunity to view it from another perspective.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I'm fascinated with cults, the FLDS, Mormons, and polygamy, so this memoir was right up my alley (and I should say I received this book as an Early Reviewer, and wonder how Abby can tailor the books we receive so well!). I've read about the FLDS from a woman's perspective (The 19th Wife, a novel; and Escape, another memoir), and a historical perspective (Jon Krakhauer's Under the Banner of Heaven), so it was interesting to read about it from a boy's perspective. The focal point of the book is the sexual abuse he suffered at age 5 from his uncle, who had become the new Prophet, and the process he went through in recovering this memory. The story is told simply, but engagingly, and moves fast (I got the feeling it was more of an "as told to" Maia Szalavitz, and that she was responsible for the organization and pace, though the cover just says it was written "with" her). The other thing that interested me was how many details of the story he tells appear in the HBO series Big Love!In retrospect, though, the simplicity of the writing style leaves me a little flat. It's brave of him to write this now, and he probably did because, with Warren Jeffs recently arrested, it's timely. But it lacks the perspective that transforms memoir from a recounting of fact to literary art.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I have read a few books about the brave people who have left the FLDS society, but Brent Jeffs' story is the first that I've heard from the male perspective. When I mentioned to a co-worker that I was reading this book, her reaction, as many have reacted was "Why would a man leave when he can have all those wives?" Jeffs paints the reader a picture as to why so many boys leave, either of their own choice or by the choice of others.One thing that I really liked about this story is that Jeffs is blunt and unapologetic. He has made some mistakes along the way, most notably his drug abuse, but while he could blame that on his upbringing and general confusion, he is instead very matter of fact about it, which I appreciated.He tells a fascinating tale, revealing even more about life in an FLDS compound. I will be passing my copy to a friend and recommending the book to many others, and recommend you do the same.