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    How to Talk to a Widower
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    How to Talk to a Widower
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    How to Talk to a Widower
    Audiobook7 hours

    How to Talk to a Widower

    Written by Jonathan Tropper

    Narrated by Eric Ruben

    4/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    Doug Parker is a widower at age twenty-nine, and in his quiet suburban town, that makes him something of a celebrity-the object of sympathy, curiosity, and, in some cases, unbridled desire. But Doug has other things on his mind. First there's his sixteen-year-old stepson, Russ: a once-sweet kid who now is getting into increasingly serious trouble on a daily basis. Then there are Doug's sisters: his bossy twin, Claire, who's just left her husband and moved in with Doug, determined to rouse him from his grieving stupor. And Debbie, who's engaged to Doug's ex-best friend and maniacally determined to pull off the perfect wedding at any cost.

    Soon Doug's entire nuclear family is in his face. And when he starts dipping his toes into the shark-infested waters of the second-time-around dating scene, it isn't long before his new life is spinning hopelessly out of control, cutting a harrowing and often hilarious swath of sexual missteps and escalating chaos across the suburban landscape.

    Funny, sexy, and smart, How to Talk to a Widower is a novel about finding your way, even when you have no idea where it is you want to go.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBrilliance Audio
    Release dateJul 17, 2007
    ISBN9781423328469
    Unavailable
    How to Talk to a Widower
    Author

    Jonathan Tropper

    Jonathan Tropper is the author of This Is Where I Leave You, How to Talk to a Widower, Everything Changes, and The Book of Joe. He lives with his family in Westchester, New York, where he teaches writing at Manhattanville College.

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    Reviews for How to Talk to a Widower

    4/5

    345 ratings31 reviews

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    • 5/5
      This book was recommended to me by a good friend, so I expected to enjoy it and was not disappointed. Whenever I told somebody what I was reading they would look at me strangely, and I would have to explain it wasn't a self-help book - even though every book I read changes me a little and the really good ones make me think outside of myself which helps me be a better person, so, to me, all books are self-help books. I really liked the story, the humor, and the writing style. It had a very ironic, at times sardonic, tone throughout to keep the humor in a story that written another way could be too depressing and heavy handed to read.
    • 2/5
      This one got off to a Not-For-Me start with the widower trying to kill rabbits on his lawn by throwing stones.He's basking in self-aware self-pity as he stupidly sets up adultery with a woman who will be related to his sisterDebbie when she gets married.Turns out sadly unfunny and predictable.
    • 4/5
      You know what to expect from a Jonathan Tropper novel, and he didn't disappoint. Darkly funny and filled with compassion. He writes family drama as well as anyone.
    • 4/5
      No one writes dialogue like this author. Laugh out loud funny, easy to read, and then he throws in stuff like this; "Grief is like a shark. It's been around forever, and in that time there's been just about no evolution. You know why? Because it is perfect the way it is."

      'Nuff said.
    • 3/5
      A slightly fantastical but nevertheless enjoyable story about Doug Parker, a man whose older wife passes away unexpectedly in a plane crash. The novel chronicles Doug coming to terms with his grief, including dealing with his troubled teenage stepson and his equally troubled twin sister, Claire. The plot is a bit much at times, but it's still a rather honest and quick read.
    • 4/5
      Another good one by Jonathan Tropper. Doug is an almost-30-year-old, recovering from the death of his wife, who died in a tragic accident. Though it's been a year since her death, he is not faring well. He's also got to deal with his late wife's teenage son who can't seem to stay out of trouble, as well as his own somewhat crazy but loveable twin sister. Honestly, the plot of this story was just okay. But Tropper has a true gift when it comes to characterization. The banter & witty exchanges between his characters are what really make his stories memorable. Though the storyline sometimes goes just a bit over the top, he's able to blend the perfect amount of humor and seriousness. As a reader, you may want to cry at times, but more often you'll find yourself laughing. And the family dynamics in his stories are near-brilliant.This story had a lot of similarities to Tropper's later novel, This is Where I Leave You. I think I liked that one a bit more than this one, but both had some really classic exchanges and some great one-liners. I'll continue to seek out and look forward to reading more of Tropper's novels.
    • 1/5
      This is my first Jonathan Tropper book and from the first page, I tried to enjoy his writing - so many others enjoy his books, I thought it would be easily entertaining. Nope. Not for me. Maybe I will venture into another of his books at a later time, but not this one and not now.
    • 5/5
      Twenty-nine year old Doug Parker is a widower finding it incredibly difficult to come to terms with the death of his wife. On top of that his sixteen year old stepson, Russ, is getting into trouble, his bossy twin sister Clair, newly pregnant, has left her husband and moved in and his other high achieving sister, Debbie, is engaged to Doug's ex-best friend and determined to have the perfect wedding.Hilarious - I love Troppers turn and phrase and he certainly delves deep into depression. Well worth a read!
    • 2/5
      Too much wallowing: acceptable in real life, not appreciated in fiction.
    • 5/5
      This is the third Tropper novel I have read, the first being This is Where I Leave You. I liked both of them a lot. They are poignant, sweet, funny, vicious, and insightful. His family dinner scenes are classic. They have you laughing out loud only to get sucker punched by the perceptiveness. He does this through the classic comedian's technique of hyperbole, but it's not exaggerated so much that it becomes caricature. We've all seen elements of his dysfunctional family in ourselves and others.

      His books (from what I've read his others do also) also relate to how we deal with death; in this one Doug Parker, age twenty-nine, wallows in self-pity after the death of his wife, Hailey, in a plane crash. She was older than he and came with a twelve-year-old son, Russ.

      At the dinner celebrating his sister Deb's upcoming marriage, as things go from bad to worse,

      Russ [Doug's stepson] excuses himself for a minute, is gone for fifteen, and comes back with his eyes glazed over. “You had to get high right now?” I whisper to him. “It was so important?” “It was a biological imperative, dude. It is fucking intense in here.” “It’s just dinner with the family.” “Come on, man. It’s like there’s a hunk of C4 strapped to the table and we’re all just waiting to see when it will detonate. I can’t believe you dragged me here.”

      It’s a tricky enough business forming a friendship with a pissed-off teenager under the best of circumstances. Now try it when you’re sleeping with his mother, when you are, quite literally, a motherfucker. Let me tell you, that requires a whole other skill set. When I first moved in, I knew I’d have to make an effort to bond with Russ so that Hailey could feel good about the whole arrangement. If she didn’t, it wasn’t like she was going to give her kid the boot. Last one hired, first one fired. And so I applied myself like a laid-back uncle, giving him lifts to school or the mall to meet his friends, taking him to the occasional weeknight movie, editing his term papers, and, more recently, taking him out for driving practice in my secondhand Saab. I was a lazy boy and I am a lazy man, and the beauty of the situation was that I wasn’t really expected to be a parent to Russ, which, based on the limited wisdom I have to offer, was a win-win situation for all involved.

      They had not been married long and Doug refuses to admit that life goes on: his twin sister is leaving her husband after becoming pregnant and his younger sister, Deb, is getting married to Mike whom she met at Doug's shiva for Hailey, a source of much resentment. Then there is his dad who has just survived a personality-changing stroke. Doug, a columnist, has begin writing a column which is becoming increasingly popular, called "How to Talk to a Widower."

      Doug has become a self-imposed social outcast, spending his time throwing rocks (and cell phone) at the rabbits in his yard, saying the kinds of things I guess we all wish we had the guts to. "I lost something after Hailey died. I’m not sure what to call it, but it’s the device that stops you from telling the truth when people ask you how you’re doing, that vital valve that keeps your deeper, truer emotions under lock and key. I don’t know exactly when I lost it, or how to get it back, but for now, when it comes to tact, civility, and discretion, I’m an accident waiting to happen, over and over again." So you get marvelously delicious scenes like this one:

      "... few weeks ago, a Jehovah’s Witness or a Jew for Jesus or some other freak on happy pills selling God in a pamphlet showed up at my door, smiling like a cartoon, and said, “Have you let God into your life?” “God can fuck himself.” He smiled beatifically at me, like I’d just complimented his crappy JCPenney suit. “I once felt the way you do, brother.” “You’re not my brother,” I hissed at him. “And you have never felt like this. If you’d ever felt like this, you would still feel like this, because it doesn’t go away."

      And the scene where he goes out on a date with a divorcee who has two young children is priceless. Let's just say part of it involves him noting that he usually doesn't mop up vomit until the third date.

    • 2/5
      Screenplay turned into book, anyone?
    • 4/5
      Touching and funny as hell. Tropper's a great writer and I can't wait to check out more of his books.
    • 3/5
      Reiterating everyone else´s comments, but this read like a screenplay which had moments of brilliance, but I ended up skimming a whole lot. It just didn´t live up to the hype or the promise of the first chapter.
    • 5/5
      I’ve read books about men whose wives died in plane crashes before, but never one as funny as this. It has an exuberant style – so many laughs and such an easy read. I got through it in less than 24 hours. Elements of it were predictable, with a nod to the accepted formula of light novels, but in amongst the chick-litty stuff was a feeling that this author understands grief at a fundamental level. It’s very touchy feely. Women write like this all the time, but having it from the viewpoint of a man is interesting.From my 43 year old standpoint, some of the angst over the 10 year age gap between the protagonist and his late wife was perplexing. When she was described as being self conscious about her age, I wanted to shout : THIRTY SIX IS NO AGE AT ALL!!! Though of course I suspect the young would disagree.
    • 4/5
      I love this author’s characters. They’re even more depressed and morose than I am, so I can laugh hysterically at them and feel superior. Yes, the main protagonist in each of Tropper's books is very similar to each of the others, but one tends not to care, because this tragic, self-deprecating, apparently irresistible guy is so well-written! The families in the books are similar as well, but when you’ve got a good thing going, why abandon it?Doug Parker, 29, lives in the fictional Westchester suburb of New Radford. He has been widowed for a year ever since his wife Hailey (who was 39) died in a plane crash after two years of marriage. She left behind her hurt and angry teenaged son Russ in addition to her hurt and angry husband Doug. Doug has spent most of every day just feeling sorry for himself, but now a lot starts to happen. His pregnant twin sister Claire is leaving her husband Stephen and moving in with him, and his younger sister Debbie is about to get married to Doug’s friend Mike, whom she met at Hailey’s funeral. His father had a stroke, and has good moments and horrible moments, sometimes in the same day. As his mother says, when trying to get Doug to have some perspective and stop being so self-absorbed:"You lost your wife, Douglas. My heart breaks for you, it really does. But I lose my husband every day, all over again. And I don’t even get to mourn.”But to Doug, a.k.a. Eeyore, no one is as miserable as he, and all the universe conspires to remind him… "The sky is fucking with me. It’s one of those militantly perfect spring days, the kind that seems to be trying just a little too hard, the kind you want to smack in the face, and the sky is bluer than it has any right to be, really, an obnoxious, overbearing blue that implies that staying home is a crime against humanity. Like I’ve got anywhere to go.”Russ, Hailey's son, wants to keep living with Doug, because he doesn't get along with his real father, Jim. Neither does Doug:"Jim hates me because he takes it personally that Hailey loved me, even though that happened after they were through, and I take it personally that Jim cheated on Hailey, even though it happened long before I was in the picture. The chronology should nullify or at least temper our instinctive hostility, but we have penises, Jim and I, and so rationality is not really an option."Meanwhile, a hot (and married) neighbor Laney who is still bringing food to Doug a year after Hailey’s death, starts coming on to him. Pretty soon, he ceases resistance. (While his heart may be dead, his organs apparently are not.) At his sister's insistence, he starts dating again. And he becomes interested the guidance counselor at Russ’s school. Of course, he feels guilty for all of this. He sees his salvation at hand when Laney’s husband comes after him with a gun, and he resolves to take the punishment he deserves, and join Hailey in death.Evaluation: This may sound bleak, but like Tropper’s other books, it’s actually hilarious. All the characters are endearing, even Doug. And unlike other books in which you can’t wait to escape from the dysfunctional family at the center of the story, this dysfunctional family is one that you grow to love, warts and all.
    • 4/5
      This book is an enjoyable and easy read, which deals with grief and the relationships between its characters with the odd bit of humour, whilst respecting the seriousness of the topics.
    • 4/5
      It's a funny thing about Jonathan Tropper's novels. I look at the synopsis, think "Hmm, I just don't know..." Then I remember how much I've enjoyed his other novels, get it anyway, and in the end I'm so, so glad I did. One day maybe I'll break myself of this.Doug Parker is a celebrity of sorts; as a 29-year-old widower, he is an attractive target. At first, he is the target of his neighbors' and friends' sympathies, and then, as time goes by, he becomes ever more attractive to his single and married women friends. A man without the emotional pain of a divorce? No burdensome children? Where can they sign up?But Doug, despite the exhortations of his family, cannot get past the pain in a time frame that they deem appropriate. He misses his wife Hailey, who died in an airplane crash only three years into their marriage. His teenage stepson Russ, forced to return to his cheating and uninvolved father, is angry that he can't stay with Doug. His twin, Claire, unhappily married and pregnant, leaves her husband and moves in with Doug. His younger sister Deborah met Doug's "former best friend" while Doug was sitting shiva after Hailey's death, and is now planning her wedding, a union that infuriates Doug, who feels that Deborah and Mike, who wouldn't have met if it wasn't for Hailey's death, are finding too much happiness out of his tragedy. Likewise, Doug's agent is pressuring him to turn his magazine column about young widowhood into a book, another action Doug cannot stomach, as it would be profiting from Hailey's death. A father whose stroke has rendered him the father he always wanted to have, and a mother whose addictions are the family joke round out Doug's world.When Claire decides that she is going to reintroduce Doug to the dating world regardless of what he wants, he steps onto a whirlwind of a life, despite the fact that he'd rather get drunk and cry over his photos.I've blessedly never experienced a grief such as Doug's but as Tropper writes it, it is believable and true-feeling. There is no magic timeline, there is no point where the guilt stops and the living begins. We follow as Doug works his way through the realities of his life and begins to put the pieces back together into a form that, though not perfect, can be dealt with.Populated with memorable, realistic and hysterical characters, and a easily-followed storyline, How to Talk to a Widower is a fantastic work. Nicely done.
    • 4/5
      "I had a wife. Her name was Hailey. Now she's gone. And so am I." This is Doug's mantra. He is 29 years old. He had been married to Hailey for 2 years when she died in a plane crash. Hailey has been dead for a year now and Doug is trying to cope with himself, her house in suburban Westchester and her teenage son Russ, both of which he inherited. He is pretty much making a hash of things. He self-medicates: drinks a lot, smokes a little weed, eats nothing but frozen artery-clogging food and hides from friends and family. Then one day his twin sister Claire arrives on his lawn and announces her plans to patch him up and push him out into the rest of his life. Doug reluctantly agrees to the plan.What happens after this is usually hilarious and often bittersweet, involving Russ, Doug's boss and job, his family, a few blind dates, a wedding and a shooting. But relax, the comedy is not irresponsible or disrespectful. Doug does not suddenly snap out of his depression but evolves realistically over the course of another year. This is a satisfying read. You don't have to work too hard but there's still plenty of substance. It will leave a smile on your face.
    • 4/5
      Another super enjoyable read from Jonathan Tropper - not as laugh-out-loud funny as some other books of his, but amusing just the same. Very easy to read - I read it in one sitting. The story of a recent widower, the step son he inherits, and his crazy family. Very honest, sometimes extremely touching. It is the kind of book that makes me remember why I love to read.
    • 2/5
      Hopeless narcassitic self-despair can be
    • 4/5
      This book is really funny!
    • 5/5
      An absolutely brilliantly well written book.The basic story doesn't sound incredibly captivating, but it is so well written that it had me both crying with despair and crying with laughter in different places.Highly recommended - I look forward to reading more books by Mr Tropper.
    • 4/5
      I bought and read this book a long time ago so this review is long overdue and i cannot let it pass and not praise this book. I don't know why i decided to buy it in the first place but whatever the reason I was glad that I did.Witty, funny (with a few laugh out loud moments). A story of a twenty nine year old man Dough Parker, whose early marriage life was cut short by the death of her beloved wife Hailey who is 10 years older than him. Grieving and drowning in self-pity,enter her pregnant twin sister who decided to leave her husband and move in with him uninvited determined to sort out his life around by suggesting for him to start back dating after 3 years of grieving along side too many bottles of jack daniels. And here goes his younger sister soon to be a bride trying to pull off a perfect wedding.With family reconnecting relationships, a wayward stepson who needs guidance, with funny hilarious dates scenarios things just gets interesting and spins out of control.Uplifting and realistic enough that you can't help but be infected by it. At the end of the book, I felt like I was a part of the family!
    • 3/5
      The one had a sticker on the front - A Galaxy (as in the chocolate bar) Richard and Judy Summer read. Hmmm. Doesn't sound promising?It pretty much lives up to expectations as well, so I guess the old adage never judge a book by its cover (sticker) holds up pretty well here. It's the story of a widower with a vaguely disfunctional family working through his grief in a lightweight, vaguely untroubling, sub-Douglas Copeland kind of way. To be fair, the book is perfectly readable, a perfect summer beach read maybe, by not something that will live on for more that a few seconds after you close the book.
    • 4/5
      Doug Parker is a 29-year old widower. He lost his wife Hayley (who was older) in a plane crash and has spent the last year avoiding life in Jonathan Tropper's "How to Talk to a Widower."And while much of Doug's world is defined by his depression and anger over losing Hayley, it's not the only thing going on his life. His twin sister Clair is pregnant and leaving her husband, his father suffered a stroke and has good and bad days and his younger sister met her fiancee at the shiva for Hayley. And that's before you get to a rebelling step-son and Doug's decision to try living life again--if by living you mean, sleeping with the wife of a good friend, dating again and falling for the guidance counsellor at his step-son's school.Tropper channels a Nick-Hornby-like vibe with first-person narrator Doug. Doug makes choices he admittedly knows are wrong, but continues the path due to his perceived pain and anguish over losing Hayley. Doug is, at times, selfish and the story is about his growing up. It's about coming to grips with the pain and realizing that Hayley would want him to continue living his life.Now, it all sounds a bit dark and it is. But Tropper has filled this book with so many memorable characters that there are light moments sprinkled in the story to keep the reader from getting totally depressed. The circus of women around the newly-dating Doug is worth the price of admission alone.Funny, sarcastic and sardonic all at the same time, "How To Talk to a Widower" is an ideal book for guys and the women who want to understand them. And don't let the new cover fool you. It looks like a light romance novel, but underneath is a story of a guy dealing with his demons. And while there is some romance, I wouldn't say it's a romance in the strictest sense of the word.
    • 4/5
      A quirkly yet poignant look at grief. (excerpt from the book jacket) "Doug Parker is a widower at age twenty-nine, and in his quiet suburban town, that makes him something of a celebrity - the object of sympathy, curiosity, and, in some cases, unbridled desire. But Doug has other things on his mind. First there's his sixteen-year-old stepson, Russ: a once-sweet kid who now is getting into increasingly serious trouble on a daily basis. Then there are Doug's sisters: his bossy twin, Claire, who's just left her husband and moved in with Doug, determined to rouse him from his grieving stupor. And Debbie, who's engaged to Doug's ex-best friend and maniacally determined to pull off the perfect wedding at any cost." I enjoyed this read, the messed up family dynamics got the characters got in some pretty hilarious situtations, yet their problems were all things I could relate too. Don't read it if you don't like frank depictions of sex (or skip those parts), but otherwise if you like humor, especially with a serious or dark undertone, you'll enjoy this one.
    • 3/5
      I thought the plot was excellent and I was very much looking forward to reading this. In fact I thought it would be the best one out of this year's Richard & Judy selection. Sadly, for me, this wasn't the case. Doug and Hailey have been married for 2 years when she dies very tragically and Doug is left as a widowed step-father looking after Russ, her teenage son. The story revolves around a year of his bereavement. Ideally this should be a fabulous read but I found it very shallow and lacking emotion. I didn't expect to be weeping and wailing at every page but I expected to be feel sad and touched by something in the novel. There were aspects of it that I found revealing - such as which bed to sleep with the neighbour on (the married neighbour at that) and then choosing his won bed for the last girl he dated. You did see insights into his life but then I thought hang on, he's meant to be looking after the son how can he just drink himself into oblivion. Each chapter seemed to be the same, nothing stood out for me. If he was able to openly share his grief with the world through a magazine column why could he not begin to move on and help Russ work through the grief as well. I was pleased he 'did the right thing' eventually and although he hadn't adopted Russ previously he acknowledged his responsibilities and dealt with Russ' father. There was a lot about each character that was truly awful and I was thankful that my family and my husband's were not like this. They were kind to each other but it didn't seem to come naturally. His father however was a truly loveable character and redeemed the novel for me. I know everyone experiences grief differently and because I haven't in this way then for me I felt he was somewhat selfish when he had a teenager he was responsible for guiding. I thought there were areas that weren't particularly well written but equally there were a couple of parts I did laugh at.
    • 5/5
      This book moved me to tears and laughter. It's the story of a young man called Doug who's wife has been killed in a plane crash. His journey is one initially of grief and depair. Then a realisation of other how others close to him are coping (or not) with their own demons.
    • 4/5
      This is an Amazon Kindle ebook, it is 4680 locations long.A young man's wife is killed in a plane crash. A year later, he still weeps for her. "How To Talk To a Widower" tells the story of his slow, painful and darkly funny process of recovery and starting over. This is a tough subject for a comedic novel, but Jonathan Tropper manages to pull it off.
    • 2/5
      While not a bad story really, I’d hesitate to recommend it to the average patron at the library because of the liberal use of the F word, that I know is offensive to many patrons, and even though my tolerance is quite high I actually grew tired of hearing it over and over. Otherwise, the story of a grieving young widower, his wacky twin sister, his pill-popping mother, his acting-out stepson, his falling into dementia father, his meatloaf-providing eager for sex neighbor, and the perfect-for-him school counselor, is not bad, but not totally engrossing either. I got tired of Doug’s apathy and didn’t really believe the jealous husband gun scene. Tropper’s kind of a Nick Hornby, Jennifer Cruise wannabe, and he’s OK, but not as good as either one.