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Burglars Can't Be Choosers
Burglars Can't Be Choosers
Burglars Can't Be Choosers
Audiobook6 hours

Burglars Can't Be Choosers

Written by Lawrence Block

Narrated by Richard Ferrone

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

3.5/5

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About this audiobook

In this first in a series of wickedly funny mysteries, best-selling author Lawrence Block introduces Bernie Rhodenbarr, sometimes burglar, sometimes sleuth. Pulling only an occasional, very discreet job, Bernie manages to maintain his comfortable New York City apartment and keep his unorthodox vocation a closely-guarded secret. Every burglar knows never to trust anonymous phone calls. But when the caller offers easy money for an hour's work, Bernie can't ignore the job. All he has to do is find a blue box in an empty apartment. But the valuable box is nowhere to be found. The occupant is, however-and he's dead. Suddenly Bernie finds himself the object of a massive man hunt, wanted for both theft and murder. Winner of multiple Edgar and Shamus Awards, Lawrence Block crafts clever plots with characters you wish you could have over for drinks. But stop to count the silver afterwards. You'll find yourself laughing out loud as gravelly-voiced narrator Richard Ferrone brings sticky-fingered Bernie to life.
LanguageEnglish
Release dateApr 10, 2009
ISBN9781436178075
Author

Lawrence Block

Lawrence Block is one of the most widely recognized names in the mystery genre. He has been named a Grand Master of the Mystery Writers of America and is a four-time winner of the prestigious Edgar and Shamus Awards, as well as a recipient of prizes in France, Germany, and Japan. He received the Diamond Dagger from the British Crime Writers' Association—only the third American to be given this award. He is a prolific author, having written more than fifty books and numerous short stories, and is a devoted New Yorker and an enthusiastic global traveler.

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Reviews for Burglars Can't Be Choosers

Rating: 3.6718266458204334 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

323 ratings16 reviews

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  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I just love Mrs. Rhodenbarr's son, Bernie...even if he is a thief.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    3.5*** This is the first in the series starring Bernie Rhodenbarr, a professional burglar with loads of charm. He’s successful and has an apartment in a nice building on the upper West Side, where he’s known as a good neighbor. He never burgles in his neighborhood, is methodical in his planning, quickly fences his take and lives a quiet life. He also always works alone. Until now. When he’s approached by a stranger offering a significant fee if he’ll retrieve a certain blue leather box, Bernie’s curious and agrees. Seems like a simple job. But the box isn’t where it should be, while a body is … and so are the police. I love this series, and this is a second reading, though I didn’t remember any of the plot, so the twists were all a surprise to me. I like Bernie as a character. He’s smart and nonviolent. He has a way with the ladies, but he’s a gentleman, through and through. The plots are intricate and the supporting characters a delight. I love his cop “friend” Ray Kirschman – honest, though not above taking a little cash to look the other way. And I love the way Block writes about New York City; I really feel as if I’m walking the streets right along with Bernie.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Totally enjoyable, undemanding pulp fiction: perfect holiday reading.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    “Burglars Can’t Be Choosers,” first published in 1977, was the first of eleven “burglar” books published over the next two and a half decades. It is a crime fiction story that follows the old pulp classic theme of a man on the run from the law after being suspected of a murder he didn’t commit. Yet, it cannot be described as a hardboiled story. It is not dark and gloomy as most crime fiction is, but somehow light and humorous as bizarre as that sounds. Block, who is most well known for his Matt Scudder series, featuring a cynical, former police officer who nearly drinks himself into oblivion, purposefully fashioned the burglar series as something far different –perhaps more irreverent, more silly, more accessible.

    This story is terrific and Bernie Rhodenbarr is a hell of a burglar. Yes, that is what he does for a living, although he is not a vicious, violent kind of burglar. He would prefer to burgle your home when you are not at home so as not to trouble you. He has fairly friendly relations with the local officers who know him on a first name basis, but he is a whiz with his tools and there is no lock that he can’t pick. His luck and his karma are not to be trusted, however. And, even though he is the most excellent burglar you will ever find, he often breaks into an apartment and doesn’t realize that there is a body in the bedroom, one still oozing blood all over the floor. At least in this story he doesn’t realize that the body is there until the police find him in the apartment. Is it just bad luck? Has he been set up? Why is he a convenient fall guy?
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    After reading this one, I will have to read all of the series, as the first book's proved a quick and fun read.

    One of the most satisfying impulse reads that started because I'm also reading Block's AFTERTHOUGHTS and figured it was about time I read the Bernie Rhodebarr series (of which I've had more than three or four for a while now, when I started collecting bibliomysteries years back).
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I decided to hunt down the first book in the Bernie Rhodenbarr series since it appeared that I had never read it. I'm glad that I did as it convinces me that while this one was great fun, the stories just kept getting better and better. The mystery was good, but some of the clues did not show up until the end. The humor, however, was right there in your face the whole time! Richard Ferrone was absolutely perfect for Bernie.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a terrific light mystery. The story is engaging and amusing, with a great ending. Looking forward the rest of the series.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed good old Bernie. The flavor of Archie MacNally, but not quite so dapper. In oher words, an incredibly enjoyable anti-hero.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Bernie might be a burglar but he isn't out to hurt anyone. So when he's approached to burgle an apartment for one specific item (a blue box -no not the Doctor's Blue Box), he figures it's easy money. Well, it was until he's caught flat-footed by two flatfoots. Oh and then he finds an annoyingly dead guy though this one is in the bedroom at least, not the bathtub.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Block has a very low-key voice in his books & this audio was well done by Adams Morgan - the voice fits Bernie Rhodenbarr perfectly. Bernie is a nice guy who is just trying to get by in NYC like everyone else. His profession is as a burglar & he's a pretty good one, well liked by his neighbors ("Who cares if you take from the rich east side? You don't steal around here.") & the cops, who know he is reasonable about splitting profits.

    He has a good thing going until his job is connected to a murder. Then Bernie has to figure out who the murderer is or else he's going to go away for it & he doesn't want to go back to prison again. He did that once & it just isn't his style. The company is atrocious.

    The murder mystery is convoluted & wrapped up nicely at the end. A sharp reader can probably pick up all the clues & solve parts, but Bernie holds back a little to give the end a bit of twist.

    Fun, but nothing remarkable. Great to listen to on my commute. On to the next!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A fun lighthearted mystery with a little edge. This is the first book in Lawrence Block's Burglar series which feature the criminal activities and subsequent misadventures of gentleman burglar Bernard G. Rhodenbarr - Bernie the Burglar.It all starts when Bernie's hired by an odd little man he doesn't know - but who knows him - to retrieve an item from someone's apartment while they aren't home. Simple enough task for someone with Bernie's skills. Except when the police catch him in the act... except when a dead body then shows up in the next room... except when Bernie freaks out and makes a runs for it!After the initial setup the story coasts at a pace that verges on plodding, for a chapter or so there's not a lot happening other than Bernie going over everything that has led him to be a fugitive and trying to piece together a clue. Once the first clue is discovered the story starts moving again and keeps a fairly steady pace. The ending struggles a little, the plot is somewhat convoluted and the whole thing teeters on the edge of implausibility (a common trait among several stories in the burglar series) but it's all great fun.In typical Block fashion the author sprinkles a few obvious - and some not so obvious - clues here and there giving the reader the impression of being oh-so-clever because they already know exactly where the story is going and then, again in typical Block fashion, he turns it on its head and you realize you've been gobbling up the trail of bread crumbs he's left for you and never focused on the inconsequential things that may or may not have been the real clues (some are, some aren't) and it's all incredibly satisfying because the only thing greater than outsmarting a great mystery writer is falling so completely into his web that you don't even know you're on the wrong track until it's too late.If you are only familiar with Lawrence Block's more famous character Private Detective Matthew Scudder then you might be in for a big surprise because the Burglar series has always been much more lighthearted. It's full of the kind of puns, laughs, wise cracks and occasional silliness that you would never find in a Scudder novel.There is some violence and sexual content, most all of it is more implied than explicit and the language does include a few 4-letter words but it falls well within the PG-13 range. I would recommend this to just about anyone who likes mysteries, and detective novels with the possible exception of those who prefer them hard-boiled and no nonsense.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Bernie is a likeable rogue, although, he has the worst luck. There's always a dead body laying around during his break-ins. This time he has a client asking him to steal a blue leather box for $5000 from an antique roll-top desk. The police catch him in the act and discover a dead man in the next room. Bernie gets away, hides out, and solves the case with the help of a very friendly new girlfriend.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A light-hearted mystery where the sleuth is also a burglar. That's the scenario for this book (and rest of the series I believe). Bernie Rhodenbarr is a thief and doesn't try to justify his actions. It's not that he goes around advertising his profession but he's not looking for a new one. He makes a good living and enjoys what he does and doesn't have to work too often either so why should he? When he's offered $5000 for what sounds like an easy job he overcomes some initial misgivings and accepts. He breaks into the apartment but can't find the item he's been asked to collect where he was told it would be and before he can look around for it he's interrupted by the arrival of two cops on the scene. Negotiations for the cops to look the other way have been pretty much concluded when one of the boys in blue discovers a dead body which complicates matters somewhat.Managing to flee the scene and find a bolt-hole to hide up in Bernie tries to find out if he was set up on the job or if his luck was particularly bad that night. He's helped out by a young lady who discovered his hiding place when she came in to water the plants. Can they discover the real murderer before Bernie gets caught?This is a really quick read. Fast-paced without much superfluous action. It's a fun escapade but the characters aren't hugely developed but enjoyable nonetheless.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Bernie Rhodenbar, professional burglar gets framed for murder while in the midst attempting to steal a special item he was requested to steal. He becomes involved in solving the murder in order to clear his "good name".This is a interesting series, but not sure if I like it yet or not. It seems to take place a million years ago, and doesn't feel like the 1970's. The story is first person narrated and Bernie is somewhat of a pig, but clever at times. His thoughts on women is pretty dated. I have to try one more in the series to get the feel for it. I like premise of the series... a professional burglar.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The misplaced apostrophe in the first word of the title disappeared in later editions. Other than that, there's nothing wrong one can say about this series. Bernie and the rest of the cast are hysterical. The tone of the books are light and easily-read. Definitely a recommendation.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Fun book to read. Kind of a stretch to bring the "mystery" to a close, but still fun.