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    Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts
    Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts
    Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts
    Audiobook4 hours

    Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

    Written by Harriet Lerner

    Narrated by Cassandra Campbell

    4.5/5

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    About this audiobook

    “If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won’t You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer.” —Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Rising Strong

    “Harriet Lerner is one hell of a wise woman. She draws you in with deft and engaging prose, and then changes your life with her rigorous intelligence and her deeply human advice. I promise that you will never see ‘the apology’ in quite the same way.” —Esther Perel, MA, LMFT author of Mating in Captivity

    Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language—I’m sorry—and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.

    Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.

    Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster Audio
    Release dateJan 10, 2017
    ISBN9781508228738
    Author

    Harriet Lerner

    Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.

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    Reviews for Why Won't You Apologize?

    4.5/5

    190 ratings16 reviews

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    • 5/5
      As a person who feels like in always right... This book lent me a big breakthrough into my own way of communicating and helped me understand the way I respond to conflicting situations. It definitely inspired me to apologize to a person close to me that I have pushed away out of my own stubbornness and wanting to be the victim. I loved all of the examples though stories. I now know how to identify a genuine apology vs a false one...and how to give one myself.

      3 people found this helpful

    • 3/5
      I do not want to undermine dr. Lerner's work. The book was insightful and full of personal stories (both her own and her clients') which were relatable and provided teaching.
      I resonated with the middle part of the book, but towards the end, there were more stories and anecdotes rather than tangible, workable strategies or examples. Maybe I (as a reader) was looking for something more general, theoretic even? And dr. Lerner's book DID have these aspects, but I also got a bit lost in shorter narratives and examples. Now I remember examples, but I'm not sure what message they were meant to deliver!

      2 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      This book is so much more then just learning how to say “I’m Sorry.” The healing that this book has already given to me I know is just the beginning. I am not exaggerating when I say that this book has changed my life and just might save my future. That is if I can use what I have learned to heal what I need to in my present. Read This!

      2 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      This may be the best self-help book I have ever read. It really built my understanding and reset my expectations of myself and especially others with respect to apologies. I may buy copies for friends.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      This book was phenomenal. I would recommend to anyone learning to apologize correctly, or seeking validation after being left without a sincere or meaningful apology. 5 stars!

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Grounded me. Made me think twice before I get angry. Made me assess all my apologies I’ve said. Gave me confidence for the things I shouldn’t be apologising for. ❤️❤️

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Really loved this book! Everyone should read this :) x

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Her books are always life-changing for me and I get more out of them each time I read them. This one will be added to the list of few books that I reread

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      I saw my life flash before my eyes! I nodded and agreed and cheered. A must read. A must buy. A must share.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      I hope I will be able to implement everything in this book into my personal life.
    • 3/5
      Great bits of information regarding how to effectively apologize, as well as receive apologies.
    • 5/5
      As a man that’s hurt but weak apologizes this is medicine. It’s a lesson to me that when you go through something get answers in knowledge.
    • 5/5
      I loved this book and I learned a lot from it . Thanks
    • 5/5
      I love this book! This book is such a great resource. This book not only addresses apologies so many deep issues. I love that this book embraces nuance and human emotion well. This is such a well written book that will help guide me in my current and future relationships.
    • 5/5
      A quick read, but concisely achieves what it sets out to do. I checked this out from the library for another member of the household, but found it useful enough to read on my own.

      Lerner covers when and why to apologize, and what bad apologies look like (the "I'm sorry if you were offended by what I said/did" nonapology is covered pretty early on, and is also my biggest pet peeve with public apologies as it directs the blame towards the injured party, not the action- looking at you, Marvel re: Doctor Strange). Later chapters on if forgiveness should be a goal and why we shouldn't apologize to get an apology back or make someone feel shameful highlighted some patterns I've made over the years. Self-awareness is priceless.
    • 5/5
      There is a lot to learn from this book and Lerner, a great writer, brings wonderful examples from her own experiences as well as those of her clients, to describe the complexity of apologizing---the good, the bad and the ugly of it all! Her writing brings out how complicated it can be---but every single apology and the story around it makes for a lot of thinking on the part of the reader and hopefully enough will stick and be put to use over time because no one escapes the need for or being the recipient of....an apology.