Wherever You Go, There They Are: Stories About My Family You Might Relate To
Published by Penguin Random House Audio
2.5/5
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About this audiobook
A hysterically funny and slyly insightful new collection of essays from New York Times bestselling author Annabelle Gurwitch, about her own family of scam artists and hucksters, as well as the sisterhoods, temporary tribes, communities, and cults who have become surrogates along the way.
When Annabelle Gurwitch was a child, surrounded by a cast of epically dysfunctional relatives, she secretly prayed that it was all a terrible mistake. Maybe she was a long-lost daughter of Joni Mitchell or the reincarnation of an ancient Egyptian princess. A family of bootleggers, gamblers, and philanderers, the Gurwitches have always been a bit vague on the ideal of a loving and supportive family. Their definition includes people you can count on to borrow money from, hold a grudge against, or blackmail. Thus began a lifetime of Annabelle seeking out surrogates. If she’s learned anything, it’s that no matter how hard you try to escape a crazy family, you just end up in another crazy family.
With a wry wit and healthy dose of irresistible self-deprecation, Gurwitch asks: Who and what makes a family in our modern society? Is it our blood relations, the people we work with, the people we pray with, our pets? Gurwitch delves into her Shalom Y'all tribe's southern Jewish roots, along with the confederacies she’s joined by accident or on purpose, and treats us to a glimpse of life with theater folk, a band of cosplaying Furries, pet people, a UFO cult, and secular humanist fellowships while exploring the fragility of sisterhood and the spectacularly daunting search for the community where her aging parents will spend the last chapter of their lives.
By turns hilarious and deeply moving, Wherever You Go, There They Are is a must-read for anyone who’s even occasionally been frustrated by the people they share carbohydrate-laden meals with every year.
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Reviews for Wherever You Go, There They Are
8 ratings2 reviews
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Thank you to First to Read for the opportunity to read this book in advance.I had a hard time with this book. It made me unofficially vow to stop reading autobiographies of people I've never heard of, because this is the second time in a row I've been disappointed, but I know I'll keep on. I don't know if it was my frame of mind at the time, but I read the first 20 or so pages and was just utterly confused to the point of annoyance. I couldn't understand why this woman was acting so nuts and lying to her child about having a sister and pretending the sister was actually in the form of their cat, but she was away at boarding school. I had to start over. I took a break from it, and started again the next day, and I finally started to understand and piece the craziness together. I still don't understand why she would lie to her son about having a cat sister, but that's not my problem. At least I got a hang of the general feel of the book and the author this time round.That said, I couldn't bring myself to really like the author all that much. She says some really cringe-y things that I understand are meant to be humorous, but to me a lot of it came off just uncomfortable and a little trying-too-hard. An example: about a third of the way in, Gurwitch brings up the story of a Syrian refugee family that had their kitten with them, and she writes, "After all, they loved their darling kitten, Zaytouna - "Olive" - so much that they must be good people. Lest we forget, Lenin was famously a cat lover." I don't understand the purpose of this little jab. Is she trying to insult the fleeing Syrian couple and their love of their family pet? Maybe this isn't a jab and is actually a compliment somehow? My Russian Revolutionary history is not that sharp, but I just didn't see the purpose here of including this anecdote. (If someone would like to educate me, by all means, please do. Seriously.)She is also of the 'pets are not family' variety, which is fine, but I'm of the 'pets are superior to humans in every possible way, all of which are innocent babies and should be treated and spoiled as such' variety, so. Just a personal thing but it put a somewhat sour taste in my mouth as I continued reading. Besides her humor being a little put-on for me, I also just plainly didn't believe a lot of the stories she told. The adult camp scenario was too ridiculous and bizarre to a) take seriously; and b) believe. The conversations she purported to have with the camp leaders called "Huggy Bear" and "Mellow Out" felt exaggerated, at best. Never happened, at worst. Mellow Out tells her that humans have been alive since the dinosaurs, and Gurwitch replies defiantly, (fair enough, I would have said something too in a ready-to-argue manner), "Excuse me, so you're saying that the fossil records, as interpreted through radiometric dating, a scientific practice accepted across the globe, are incorrect?" She didn't say that. She's not a scientist, and never claims to have any interest in any type of scientific field. So I should take her at her word that she said something so wildly educated and well-researched, on the spot, to someone with a fake name who was probably on shrooms? Hardly. Sorry, I just couldn't buy into it, real or not. Then it goes from ridiculous to utterly depressing and sad, as she begins to care for her aging parents. I liked her most here, even if she did paint a horrifying picture of old age and dying. She was the most real here, for me. It was a little too real, as her reality is something I fear I too will deal with in the (hopefully not too near) future. Really depressing way to end the book. I guess from here it's obvious I didn't enjoy this book much. I giggled every so often, so credit where it's due, Gurwitch is indeed funny at times. But overall, I was left disappointed, sad and a little more annoyed than I thought I signed up for.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Annabelle Gurwitch has looked at other families’ mottos and mission statements, and has decided hers should be: “In our family, no one can hear you scream”. It comes early in her new book, Wherever You Go, There They Are, and sets you up for a rollercoaster of family stories. Gurwitch is all about sarcasm and mild exasperation, and her stories paint a false but entertaining picture covering up her love for everyone.It’s not nearly the horror of some families, but when told properly – as by Gurwitch – it can be hilarious: “For some people, ‘family’ means people who you don’t mind seeing your dirty dishes and unmade beds. In my family, it means you must scour your home for days before inviting them in or they will embarrass you by cleaning it themselves in front of you.” The first story, the setup, is by far the best. She develops her characters and relationships, and lets them loose on the world. Unfortunately, she seems to run out of material early, and several essays have nothing to do with her family being there at all. She takes herself to an adult summer camp in northern California. She investigates multilevel marketing scams where women sell each other (mostly) cosmetics they don’t need, for essentially no profit to themselves. And she checks out life in an agnostic church. But she does it with panache, sarcasm and eventual self-awareness – her trademarks - so it’s worthwhile.Gurwitch makes massive use of footnotes, editorial comments really, one or two pretty much every page. They could have been just as effective in brackets in the text. On Kindles, it’s a real pain to scroll down to them, usually for very little payoff, and then scroll back to where you left off if you can find it. The worst is when they continue to the bottom of the next page. But all humorous essayists seem to want to do it these days. It’s the fashion of the era, apparently. Too bad for the reader.Gurwitch turns out to be a caring, compassionate being, whose genetic makeup brings out the lying fabulist of the past (at least) two generations of Gurwitches. She puts it to fine use.David Wineberg