Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them): A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying
Written by Sallie Tisdale
Narrated by Gabra Zackman
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
The fact of death is hard to believe. Sallie Tisdale explores our fears and all the ways death and talking about death make us uncomfortable-but she also explores its intimacies and joys. Tisdale looks at grief, what the last days and hours of life are like, and what happens to dead bodies. Advice for Future Corpses includes exercises designed to make you think differently about the inevitable. She includes practical advice, personal experience, a little Buddhist philosophy, and stories.
But this isn't a book of inspiration or spiritual advice-Advice for Future Corpses is about how you can get ready. Start by admitting that we are all future corpses.
Sallie Tisdale
Sallie Tisdale is the author of several books, including Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love them), Violation, Talk Dirty to Me, Stepping Westward, and Women of the Way. She has received a Pushcart Prize, an NEA Fellowship, the James D. Phelan Literary Award, and was selected for the Shoenfeldt Distinguished Visiting Writer Series. Her work has appeared in Harper’s, The New Yorker, The Threepenny Review, The Antioch Review, Conjunctions, and Tricycle. In addition to her award-winning writing career, Tisdale has been a nurse for many years, including a decade in palliative care. She lives in Portland, Oregon. Visit her online at SallieTisdale.com.
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Reviews for Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them)
45 ratings5 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The author does a lovely job sharing her experiences with death and the dying along with beneficial information for the reader; it can be a difficult read at times but is sorely needed as you just never know, and being prepared can help so many.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5rough but real. i know i am quite young in the grand scheme, turned 31 today which i struggle to swallow & am writing/conducting a thesis on coping with age. i feel consuming content about death; truthful, mysterious, & unsettling as death may seem, it is something we all will face whether it is witnessing many die throughout our living or dying young or somewhere in-between. death will come & is a real element in how we feel about our age as death comes closer. although we truly never know if it may come today, tomorrow, or sooner than we’d imagine. this book is what you make of it i feel, it is very insightful regardless your stance on life or death.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This was just the book for me, 80-plus and never having thought much about death, its prequels and sequels. Each page is worth reading, and reading.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book operated on two different levels for this reader, as a person who’s been fascinated by death since childhood, and as a man who lost his wife of decades in July of 2018. It does an excellent job of covering the scientific, cultural, emotional, and some of the religious details of the last stages of life, the moment of death, and the process of decay under many different situations. The cruel facts of life and death were always interesting to me, it’s just now those same facts are much more relevant, painful, and personal to me. The author covers so many topics: from what to expect from hospice care (the great help and some of the shortcomings), how important it is for each person to figure out what they view as a good death, what is reasonable to expect from families and caregivers at different stages, and how to talk to the dying and the grieving. Speaking for myself, I know well just how uncomfortable people are when talking to the grieving. Tisdale mentions many of the stupid, insensitive, and cruel things that people say to those suffering a devastating loss. These people mostly mean well, but many times they don’t think before they speak, believing they’re giving sound and comforting advice. They are also wondering how long will this person be so upset before they return to normal and are fun to be around again. Our society doesn’t handle the uncomfortable well, in the back of many minds are three seemingly simple words, get over it. Having read a fair number of grieving books, I found that most mention many of the same insensitive words and phrases. I remember wanting to rip the head off a young supermarket bagger who told me, “It’s God’s plan.” She still has her head, as this young girl had such a sweet smile, and I realized she was trying to be helpful in the best way she knew … she just didn’t know I was an atheist on edge. I just left quietly. This book does such a good job of explaining what the dying person may be going through at each stage. Being restless, not eating or drinking, losing control of their body, being talkative, or silent, so many things … all of it’s hard for the caregiver if they don’t have a clue to what is going on. Every death has some things in common, and all may be as different as the dying person was during their entire life. Another thing that the book covers is some of the legal details of death plans, advance directives, organ and tissue donations, and assisted death. Advice for Future Corpses* is such a clear, straightforward, and kind book that I would recommend it to everyone, as all of us will be near to someone who dies, and knowledge is power, and many times comforting.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Best for:Those who know someone who is dying, or those who may die themselves one day.In a nutshell:Palliative care nurse Sallie Tisdale offers thoughts on both the reality of accepting (or at least acknowledging) one’s own mortality while also providing seriously practical suggestions and examples for what to expect.Worth quoting:“Our image of Grandpa at home in his own bed assumes that Grandpa likes his bed, that his house is safe and quiet, and that he really wants his relatives to take care of his most personal needs.”“Sick people need to not be sick people all the time. They are also plumbers, parents, students, friends, chess players.”Why I chose it:Old habits die (heh) hard. I used to do planning related to death in my old job and I still find it interesting.Review:What happens as one dies? Not after, but before and during? And what can those of us who are supporting those people do (or not do) to make that experience less scary? Tisdale’s book is not exactly a road map, and it is not really a memoir, either. She does use some stories to illustrate points (the experiences of three people she knows who have died are shared in different chapters), but this is not a book on the wisdom of those who are near death. No, instead it’s a mixture of how to confront one’s own mortality as well as observations from someone who has been with those who are dying and knows what to do (and what not to do).The book follows essentially the path of death from illness, including chapters on what to do with the remains and what grief may be like. I think the most valuable chapter is the one on communication, full of dos and don’ts (mostly don’ts). If you haven’t been close to someone who is seriously ill, it’s likely you don’t know how you’ll react or what is appropriate to ask, say, or do, and this book provides some suggestions on that front.At times this book had me confronting my own mortality; at other times it had me thinking about the mortality of those I love (especially those who are much older than me). I think it’s useful reading, and I’ll be keeping it around until I’ll need it.Keep it / Pass to a Friend / Donate it / Toss it:Keep it