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    A Serial Killer's Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love, and Overcoming
    A Serial Killer's Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love, and Overcoming
    A Serial Killer's Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love, and Overcoming
    Audiobook9 hours

    A Serial Killer's Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love, and Overcoming

    Written by Kerri Rawson

    Narrated by Devon O'Day

    3.5/5

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    About this audiobook

    What is it like to learn that your ordinary, loving father is a serial killer?

    In 2005, Kerri Rawson opened the door of her apartment to greet an FBI agent who shared the shocking news that her father had been arrested for murdering ten people, including two children.

    That's also when she first learned that her father was the notorious serial killer known as BTK, a name he'd given himself that described the horrific way he committed his crimes: bind, torture, kill. As news of his capture spread, the city of Wichita celebrated the end of a thirty-one-year nightmare. For Kerri Rawson, another was just beginning.

    In the weeks and years that followed, Kerri was plunged into a black hole of horror and disbelief. The same man who had been a loving father, a devoted husband, church president, Boy Scout leader, and a public servant had been using their family as a cover for his heinous crimes since before she was born. Everything she had believed about her life had been a lie.

    Written with candor and extraordinary courage, A Serial Killer's Daughter is an unflinching exploration of life with one of America's most infamous killers and an astonishing tale of personal and spiritual transformation.

    A Serial Killer's Daughter will give you the encouragement you need to learn how to:

    • Pick up the pieces of your life when everything falls apart
    • Begin to heal from the long-lasting effects of violence
    • Trust that light will overcome the darkness

    Kerri Rawson's story offers the hope of reclaiming sanity in the midst of madness, rebuilding a life in the shadow of death, and learning to forgive the unforgivable.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThomas Nelson
    Release dateJan 29, 2019
    ISBN9781400201778
    Author

    Kerri Rawson

    Rawson is the New York Times bestselling author of A Serial Killer's Daughter. She is the daughter of Dennis Rader, also known as the serial killer "BTK," and is a passionate advocate for victims of abuse, crime, and trauma. She has turned her experiences into opportunities to write and speak about her journey of hope, healing, faith, and forgiveness. She resides in Florida with her two children.

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    Reviews for A Serial Killer's Daughter

    3.5/5

    231 ratings17 reviews

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    • 5/5
      An amazing testimony of someone who has to endure one of the most horrific things and find forgiveness in the love and grace of Jesus! Kerri gives us a glimpse of the other side of Dennis and has our heart breaking for those who trusted and love him so. While telling her story of how a broken bond with her earthly father brought her to the loving and safe arms of her Heavenly Father, she touches a bit on the lives of so many who have been abandoned or hurt by their own fathers...and the points to the hope that awaits them in God.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 3/5
      Boring and too many details in things that didn’t matter.
    • 5/5
      I cried so many times along this book. I loved it!
    • 5/5
      Like many people, I’ve always been interested in serial killers and the aberrant mind necessary to allow them to kill, So, of course, I’ve read about BTK.
      Even more interesting to me is the rare book by a family member that allows a peek into how one copes with such shocking knowledge of a person they know and love.
      Mrs Rawson gives us that peek, sharing the effects upon herself and her family with openness and honesty.
      What makes this a particularly good book is the fact that her faith in God pulled her through. I love such stories. Mrs Rawson’s testimony into the goodness of God brings me great joy. Her ability to forgive her father brought tears of joy. I’m very grateful that she shared her experiences with us.
      Please consider reading this interesting, informative, inside look, and story of redemption.
    • 5/5
      A very good read. Enjoyed hearing another perspective when it comes to True crime. We are use to hearing from the victims family or the killer but to hear from the child of the killer was very interesting.
    • 5/5
      I really enjoyed this book. I loved following along on Kerri's journey!
    • 4/5
      It's a hard thing to sit through this book. Not because its poorly written or boring but that it tugs at your moral center. Being put into the shoes of a person finding out that they have been a victim of this big of a deception. I was hoping for a few more details about her father's habits and family stories but it was altogether a good book.
    • 5/5
      It was a book about her spiritual journey and her healing. So brave of her to write this!
    • 4/5
      Thank you for sharing your story, we will keep you all in our prayers, including your Dad, that the good work the Lord has started my best fulfilled xxx my heart was bleeding for you as you shared all of this, and I am rejoicing that you found healing and peace in the Lord, may that increase each day xxx
    • 5/5
      What an amazing book! Difficult to read at times. It felt at times like a therapy session for me... I struggled right beside her with feelings of betrayal and the shock at a father's double life, not that mine was anywhere near what she dealt with. She really drew me in and I love the conclusion which felt so "real". There is healing but the scars won't leave.
    • 3/5
      This book is about the daughter of Dennis Rader aka The BTK Killer and all the trauma that her father put her through. I was hoping that she would describe more of her father's upbringing and how or why he became BTK. If the author chose to write another book, I know I would not read it because I did not like her writing style.
    • 3/5
      What It’s Like Being the BTK Killer’s Child

      Crimes committed to children by their parents strike us as particularly heinous. These are the very people we expect to nurture, raise, and guide the young into responsible adulthood. As bad as beating or outright murdering your own child, betraying that child in the most horrendous and public way can be as abusive, a psychological nightmare for the child, and sometimes for society itself. Therein in lies the crux of Kerri Rawson’s story, the betrayal of her, her brother, mother, and the entire family by Dennis Rader, the self-named BTK serial killer who stalked and terrorized Wichita, Kansas, killing 10 men, women, and children between 1974 and 1991, and who was about to start up again until arrested on February 25, 2005.

      Imagine the shock, the disillusionment, the anger, and the sense of shattering disloyalty felt by Kerri and her family. This almost too dramatic to comprehend and difficult to relate, even in the hands of a highly skilled writer, which, unfortunately, Kerri Rawson isn’t. Hers is a heartfelt story but not a particularly compelling one on the page for the reader. Nonetheless, for those interested in serial killers, BTK especially, and the impact they have on the lives of those close to them, it will prove to be a satisfying and helpful reading experience.

      Kerri spends half the book telling about her father, the good side of Dennis Rader. For her and her brother Brian, he’s a loving father, and of special note a father who seems to have always made time for them. But he had a dark side, even in those times when he was doing nice things for the family. She relates moments when Rader’s personality would shift instantly, and then as quickly revert back to his equanimous self. A couple of times with Brian, however, he did act out dangerously before regaining control of himself. Probably, Kerri’s intent in spending so much of the book on the good father and the various activities they enjoyed together was to prepare readers for the shock of discovering Rader’s monstrous deeds, committed almost in the neighborhood and while he was playing the good father.

      Too, especially with her extended and detailed discussion of their camping and hiking excursion in the Grand Canyon, she seems to have wanted to show how he was perfectly willing to put his own daughter and son in danger to the point of death in order to satisfy a desire of his own. In short, to illustrate one of his psychological features, his extreme narcissism, probably the most obvious symptom of his psychopathic disorder. Unfortunately, the rendering proves too much to the point of tedious. It’s both a weakness of the book but also necessary to understanding the utter disillusioning shock of the truth.

      The better part of the book comes in the second half, after Rader’s arrest. It’s here that Kerri relates the torment this caused her. She imagines, then, all the times he spent with her and the family, wondering if things he gave them might have come from his victims. If while they were together, he was thinking about his murders, or planning murders. Then there is her disbelief, her reconciling herself to the fact her dad was a serial killer, of turning to her faith, which in normal times she had nearly abandoned, for solace, and the ongoing depression the whole thing had and continues to inflict upon her. It becomes clear that while Rader physically murdered 10 people, he hurt many more, and all of them were the closest to him.
    • 3/5
      This is the introduction to the book:

      On February 25, 2005, my father, Dennis Lynn Rader, was arrested for murder. In the weeks that followed, I learned he was the serial killer known as BTK (Bind, Torture, Kill), who had terrorized my hometown of Wichita, Kansas, for three decades. As he confessed on national television to the brutal killings of eight adults and two children, I struggled to comprehend the fact that the first twenty-six years of my life had been a lie. My father was not the man I’d known him to be. Since his arrest, I’ve fought hard to come to terms with the truth about my dad. I’ve wrestled with shame, guilt, anger, and hatred. I’ve accepted the fact that I am a crime victim, dating back to the days my mom carried me in her womb. I no longer fight the past nor try to hide it. It just is. It happened and it’s terrible. Terrible to dream about, terrible to think about, terrible to talk about. Incalculable loss, trauma, emotional abuse, depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress—these things leave scars. I’ve struggled with forgiveness, fought for understanding, tried to put the ruptured pieces of my life and my family’s life back together. It’s an ongoing battle. But hope, truth, and love—the things that are good and right in this world—continue to fight through the darkness and overcome the nightmares. I am a survivor who has found resilience and resistance in faith, courage, and my sure stubbornness to never give up.

      That quite sums the book up in a quite full-rounded way. It's obvious to me that the author has suffered—and suffers—immensely at the hands of her normal father, who is also the serial-killer Dennis Rader, known as BTK.

      One of the absolutely best things about this book, is the author's ordinariness, or rather, her being who she is; this book does not suffer from the sensationalism (in spite of the book's title) that usually marrs autobiographies that have been spruced up to gallant or even evade the truth, in service of tabloid fodder. She writes about her usual days before knowing her father's BTK, as in this paragraph:

      In January 1974, Dad murdered Joseph and Julie Otero and their two youngest children, Josie, age eleven, and Joey, age nine. The three older Otero children found their family’s bodies after walking home from school.

      Another powerful stylistic trait throughout the book, is the author's jumps through time, even in the same paragraph at times, giving way to a kind of stream-of-consciousness feel. Still, most of the book is very coherently written:

      Mom found comfort in the chime that went off in the hospital right after Grandpa died. It meant a baby had been born at almost the exact moment my grandpa passed. Mom told me later that Dad had wept over his father’s body. Wrecked with grief, he had walked hunched over down the hospital hallway. She said, “I don’t think your dad had ever sat beside someone who died before.” When I heard these words, I was filled with sorrow, picturing Dad next to Grandpa’s frail body. Dad was grieved over the loss of his father—he had loved him, very much. It’s impossible for me to reckon that with Dad taking the lives of ten innocent people.

      There are a lot of Bible references throughout the book, and still, it's obvious to see that the author has accepted help from other sources, e.g. therapy and family members.

      There are several mind-boggling episodes in this book, unlike most serial-killer books that I've read (and I have read quite a few), especially when the author reveals herself as human in all kinds of facets, as here:

      Mom said, “Did you know I was teasing him this fall that he spelled like that guy—BTK?” I grinned a bit at this, trying to stifle a laugh, as I checked Mom’s face.

      She was trying to hide a smirk, too, and when our eyes met, we both started giggling. It felt good to laugh.

      People died. I’m not supposed to be laughing ever again.

      “I asked your dad once why would BTK use a cereal box to communicate with the police—like it was reported in the news. He said, ‘Cereal—like a serial killer.’”

      I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at that one.

      “Where did he get those boxes? We don’t eat that type of cereal.” And that’s what my poor mom is wondering.

      Mom continued: “When I got interviewed, they asked what was behind our hidden door. I asked, ‘What door?’ They said the one in the kitchen behind the table. I said, ‘You mean the door the dryer is behind?’” I snorted, tried to contain it, and gave up, laughing out loud.

      Mom and Grandma followed. “The police asked me about safety-deposit boxes—I don’t know why.”

      Later, we learned that Dad used secret ones to store BTK items. Mom’s face turned serious, her voice lower.

      “Early last year, there was a special about the thirtieth anniversary of the first murders, what happened to the Oteros. It was on TV. Your dad watched it.” Oh. I didn’t know he had watched it.

      The letters from and to Dennis Rader are also quite mind-boggling. This one from the author to her father:

      We weren’t very thrilled to see your written interview with the local TV station. We also didn’t like seeing your poems and letters on TV. We know you can and will do what you want to do, but we would really appreciate it if you could control that stuff better. Any publicity is bad for the family, especially for the ones that live in Kansas.

      Brian and I have the grace of living in areas where we’re not known; and that’s been a blessing these last three months. Mom and everyone else doesn’t have that grace. We’re asking you to stop this type of communication on behalf of us. I have shared this view with your lawyers, and they were going to talk to you about it.

      Mom is having the hardest time with everything that has happened. Brian and I share a different kind of bond with you than she does. It is easier for children to love their parents unconditionally (and vice versa) than it is for spouses. For her own sake, she might need to start distancing herself from you, and you’re going to have to try to understand that. She’s stronger than we all thought and she’s going to get through this, just as the rest of us are. We refuse to let the bad stuff win. Mom shared 34 good years with you, Brian 29 years, and me 26 years. We’re trying to hold on to that—not let the other things define you or us. You should not let that define you either. You’re stronger and better than that.

      I love you and I know you’re trying to do the right things. I’m truly sorry your life has turned out this way. I want you to know you’re loved and cared for. You’re loved by your children, family, and most importantly God, whose love and forgiveness is much more powerful and greater than any on earth could be. I’ll write again soon.

      Their correspondence changes over time, as the author comes to terms with what's happening while being severely affected with PTSD due to her father's legal crimes.

      All in all, I feel the book should have been shortened, but on the other hand, its length does serve a purpose. All in all, this is a very human feel of how it can be to be closely related to a person who's committed crimes that were highly publicised for a while and most likely, due to sensationalistic "true-crime tv series", always be current to serial-killer boffins.
    • 4/5
      Her faith in God is what I think helps her make it through the day. Her father is a monster, but to her he was her father.
    • 3/5
      This memoir written by the daughter of the BTK serial murderer is an interesting story, but I'm afraid it didn't resonate with me like I expected. The writing was clear but felt a bit amateurish to me. It was repetitive in places, and unnecessarily detailed in others. I do feel sorry for the position the author was put in through no fault of her own. But for me, there was too much giving up on her faith vs. embracing her faith. I just wasn't expected a book that had a good deal about God and her religion in it.There were warnings about her father's behavior, but not big warnings. Who would take their kids on a Grand Canyon multi-night hike, but when one of them was throwing up for 24 hours ahead of time, would leave him at the trailhead and tell him to catch up the next day? And there were anger management issues. Of course, these were after he already tortured and killed people, but his daughter did not know that. Because murders were committed before she was born, she muses, “He should have been in jail the past thirty-one years.People should still be alive.But my brother and I wouldn't be.I was okay with that – I'd trade my life for theirs.”And the killer, I don't want to give him the respect of mentioning his name, had no remorse. At one point, after a lien was put on his house, he whined, “And then they screw me with a lien. It's out of my hand. I'm still very upset.” Yeah, a lien is so much important that torturing and murdering people. His position is prison was very important to him, bragging in letters about the respect he got from other inmates and his hierarchy in the pecking order. Of course, later he found God. I really don't care, do u?Too much about the daughter's PTSD, too much about visits with therapists, but it was her story. I was glad that she didn't go into graphic descriptions of the murders. But this memoir, while telling an interesting story, was just so-so.
    • 4/5
      This memoir by the daughter of the notorious BTK serial killer Dennis Rader provides an interesting perspective about the family behind the scenes. While some details about the case are discussed, the main focus is on Rader’s family, left completely in the dark about his double life and left reeling in the aftermath. Respect is paid to the victims and there are no excuses made. Insight into the mind of Rader is provided without getting overly graphic.

      This is not my usual genre of book. I like murder mysteries but have never been a big fan of true crime. What caught my eye for this one was that my husband grew up in the Wichita are during the era of the killings. He remembers waiting up nights being on guard in case he and his Dad needed to protect his Mom and sister. So I was intrigued to know more.

      I’m not sure if I’d recommend this unless you have some sort of connection to the case or are a real true crime fan. It’s not particularly sensational but it feel like picking around in someone’s private thoughts if you don’t have a connection to the community affected.
    • 4/5
      When an FBI agent showed up at her door, Kerri Rawson immediately thought that they had the wrong apartment. Instead, she was stunned to learn that her father was the BTK serial killer. Looking back at her life, Kerri tries to piece together what she and her family were doing when her father was out killing. After the arrest, Kerri and her family are thrown into a different sort of nightmare. With the press hounding them at every opportunity, Kerri and her family are trying to reconcile the man they thought they knew, with the horrible crimes that he committed. This was an intriguing book. Kerri told her story in a poignant manner, without glossing over the horror and brutality of what actually happened. I found the passage about the Grand Canyon trip particularly interesting, as it gave a glimpse into the father-daughter relationship. Kerri relied on her faith heavily at times, which tended to come across as preachy. Despite this criticism, I would recommend this book to people of all faiths and beliefs. Overall, 4 out of 5 stars.