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    How to Forget: A Daughter's Memoir
    How to Forget: A Daughter's Memoir
    How to Forget: A Daughter's Memoir
    Audiobook12 hours

    How to Forget: A Daughter's Memoir

    Written by Kate Mulgrew

    Narrated by Kate Mulgrew

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    About this audiobook

    In this profoundly honest and examined memoir about returning to Iowa to care for her ailing parents, the star of Orange Is the New Black and bestselling author of Born with Teeth takes us on an unexpected journey of loss, betrayal, and the transcendent nature of a daughter’s love for her parents.

    They say you can’t go home again. But when her father is diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer and her mother with atypical Alzheimer’s, New York-based actress Kate Mulgrew returns to her hometown in Iowa to spend time with her parents and care for them in the time they have left.

    The months Kate spends with her parents in Dubuque—by turns turbulent, tragic, and joyful—lead her to reflect on each of their lives and how they shaped her own. Those ruminations are transformed when, in the wake of their deaths, Kate uncovers long-kept secrets that challenge her understanding of the unconventional Irish Catholic household in which she was raised.

    Breathtaking and powerful, laced with the author’s irreverent wit, How to Forget is a considered portrait of a mother and a father, an emotionally powerful memoir that demonstrates how love fuses children and parents, and an honest examination of family, memory, and indelible loss.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperAudio
    Release dateMay 21, 2019
    ISBN9780062846853
    Author

    Kate Mulgrew

    Kate Mulgrew, a native of Dubuque, Iowa, is an actress and author with an extensive career on stage and screen. From her start as Mary Ryan, the lead role on the popular soap opera Ryan's Hope to the groundbreaking first female starship captain on Star Trek: Voyager to her acclaimed performance as Galina "Red" Reznikov on Netflix's smash hit Orange Is The New Black, Kate brings a formidable presence and deep passion to all her projects. Her 2016 book, Born With Teeth, allowed her to add "New York Times bestselling author" to her resume. 

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    Reviews for How to Forget

    4/5

    55 ratings10 reviews

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    • 5/5
      They way she writes and reads it..it's like you are right there and it's happening right now.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 3/5
      Interesting, but too long. I also felt she wanted everyone to know who she is. She goes on about herself a lot.
    • 1/5
      *spoiler alert* Well read and fascinating story but couldn’t get past what I hope was a fabrication by the author.



      I liked it ok until the end of the 4th chapter. She killed her dying father because she couldn’t handle his suffering. This is noble? Killing someone because they are suffering? There is always value in suffering, even if we can’t see it. I feel so sad the Bate couldn’t understand this because like so many people, this world is suffering averse. I feel sad she totally missed the lesson of her father’s suffering and end of life. So full of worldly knowledge and so bereft of actual wisdom.
      I stopped listening after this revelation of selfishness by the author. Again, I hope she made that part up because of she didn’t, she committed murder.
    • 5/5
      Read magnificently by the auther full of emothion, but emcumbered by it. A memoir not so much of herself, but of her parents, and their marriage, and their deaths, which of course includes her and her siblings. A real great read. Especially if you worry about your parents reach and age or a state worth worrying about.
    • 5/5
      Beautifully written, beautifully read. Ms Mulgrew’s is a tale of life - of great love, loss and longing. A rich portrayal of memories, both vivid and fragile that paint a masterpiece of two lives, the lives they have their children and how, in turn, their children tried to make peace with saying goodbye and giving thanks.
    • 5/5
      Although, sadly, a typical family scenario dealing with parental afflictions, Kate Mulgrew did a masterful job of bringing the reader into her innermost thoughts and feelings! It was heartwarming, and heartbreaking, storytelling and brilliantly narrated!!!! If Ms. Mulgrew narrated the phone book, I’d be anxious to hear it!
    • 2/5
      “Hollywood actress goes through thing regular people suffer through every day completely unnoticed, and with alot less money”
    • 4/5
      How to Forget: A Daughter’s Memoir by Kate MulgrewNon fiction recap of Kate’s memories of her mother’s life. This story includes the life and impact and progress of disease on both her parents. Her father had an aggressive lung cancer at the end of his life and her mother developed Alzheimer’s. The text includes how she and her family dealt with each death from beginning to end as each of the parents succumbed. Some period history was mentioned for background and rounding out who they were. It’s emotional, heartbreaking, and so typical of any family going through life, death and today’s typical diseases. I’m guessing most people will be able to relate to the loss on many levels. I know it jogged a lot of my own memories but at the same time recognizing that every loss is personal. ? I listened to an audiobook copy of this for the majority of the book. It was narrated by Kate Mulgrew and brought the really personal feelings to the front. I received an ARC of this book from a publisher conference where it was highly acclaimed and recommended. I agree. I think the author did a great job of dealing with death and disease and while it’s a heartbreaking story, it also normalizes the experience as we all experience something similar. At least that’s what I felt from reading this story.
    • 4/5
      Narrated by the author, HOW TO FORGET: A DAUGHTER'S MEMOIR is an incredibly intimate and detailed account of how Kate Mulgrew and her family cared and provided for their sick parents.

      In brief, her father had an aggressive form of lung cancer that spread throughout his body and her mother had Alzheimer's disease. I felt like I had to read this book as my dad also died from an aggressive form of lung cancer, and my mom is battling Alzheimer's disease right now.

      I read Mulgrew's previous memoir BORN WITH TEETH, and I enjoyed it. She narrated that book as well. (She's an EXCELLENT narrator overall; I loved her performance of Joe Hill's NOS4A2.)

      I found her account to be poignant and sad but I was also a bit peeved and I'll tell you why. This is a purely personal thing, and maybe it has a tinge of envy on my part, to be honest. In America, it is much easier to get old, get sick, or get old AND sick, if you have money. The choices available to you when you have money are varied and numerous. When you are poor or even middle class, that is not the case. Not everyone can take leave from their job to nurse a sick parent. Not everyone can hire people to move in with their parents to help take some of the burden off the family. Not everyone can buy an entire house to make caring for a family member easier either. It irked me that Ms. Mulgrew never acknowledged such in this book.

      *Gets up on soapbox.* Let me be clear, I am not envious of Kate's money, she's an excellent actress, narrator and writer, she earned it. What I am envious of is the QUALITY OF CARE that Kate and her family were able to provide to their parents. Being a working class/middle class person, I cannot even begin to provide my mother the care she deserves. Quality of medical care and end of life care should not be based on wallet size. *Steps down from soapbox.*

      That aside, I'm glad that I listened to this book. I feel less alone-I feel like other people have gone through what I am going through right now, and somehow that helps lessen my pain. I think I'm also able to empathize a bit more with my mom's situation, though I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it was viewing what she is going through, through a different set of eyes? Whatever the reason, I found myself more patient yesterday with my mom and I think that made it easier on both of us.

      I recommend this book, especially to those trying to deal with sick parents, while still trying to work and maintain their own sanity. If only for the reason that HOW TO FORGET makes you feel less alone. Because that is no small thing.

      *Thank you to my public library for the free audio download. Libraries RULE!*
    • 3/5
      Mulgrew looks at her life with her father and then her mother in this intimate memoir.