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    Xenophobe's Guide to the Poles
    Xenophobe's Guide to the Poles
    Xenophobe's Guide to the Poles
    Ebook94 pages1 hour

    Xenophobe's Guide to the Poles

    By Ewa Lipniacka

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    A polarized people

    The Poles are either bubbling with life, or comatose; they love or they loathe. It is this total commitment to the occupation of the moment which earns them the reputation of being mercurial. As Hemar wrote in his song: If only Poles did systematically and economically what they do spontaneously, they would be perfect.”

     

    Necessity is the mother of invention

    Key national characteristics are adaptability, a knack for improvisation, and the ability to make the best of what is available. A good Polish cook is one who can make gourmet soup from a rusty nail.

     

    The Polish touch

    Devotion to style pervades all areas of life: the table might be rickety, but it is covered with a snowy tablecloth and decorated with a vase of flowers.

     

    Never say never

    When the Communists rather foolishly tried to stop the Poles practicing their religion, the churches filled to overflowing. Forbidden” is a term of encouragement to a Pole.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherOval Books
    Release dateJun 1, 2000
    ISBN9781908120724
    Xenophobe's Guide to the Poles

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    • 4/5
      The book is nice and in most cases accurate, nevertheless as a person that has been living in Poland for over 6 years and having also polish background there are some aspects of the book that should be clarify. One of them is at the very end when she mention that polish people tend to use diminutives. This is true only for Krakow, in other places the expressions are not mention in the same way. Another aspect that she should clarify is the church. People still going to church, even young people go around on Sunday to church and you will find several times that there is not place to seat. I will not point out all the errors, instead I will recognize the effort to show in such a short book how polish people are. Of course the book is outdated in some aspects but is a good first approach to how polish people behave and their traditions, and the fact that she does this in just 86 pages is pretty amazing.

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    Xenophobe's Guide to the Poles - Ewa Lipniacka

    times.

    Nationalism & Identity

    Forewarned

    Legend has it that one fine spring morning in ancient times, three Slavonic brothers, Czech, Lech, and Rus, set out to find new homes. Czech founded the Czech nation in the first good clearing they came to. The other two carried on until Lech saw an eagle building its nest, took it as a sign from the gods, and founded Gniezno, the first capital of Poland. Rus travelled on.

    Most of Poland is a flat open plain described by military experts as an ‘ideal spot for a battlefield’.

    Lech’s choice must rank with the ten worst decisions in history. Most of Poland is a flat open plain described by military experts as an ‘ideal spot for a battlefield’ (a feature exploited today by rental rather than invasion, for NATO manoeuvres, amongst others). Poland has been fought on or over at some time or another by virtually every country in Europe, including, amazing as it may seem, Sweden, and for whole centuries at a time it disappeared off the map altogether.

    But the past is another country. Today Poland is vibrantly independent and planning to stay that way. It’s holding its own in the EU and is as keen on playing host to American rocket bases as it previously was to Russian ones. The only invasions it anticipates, or hopes for, are from tourists, and investors.

    How the Poles see themselves

    The Poles are self-critical; they know themselves inside out, warts and all. What is more, they will compulsively pick at their blemishes.

    The Poles are self-critical; they know themselves inside out, warts and all. What is more, they will compulsively pick at their blemishes. There is not a problem, be it social, political, economic, national or local, which is not regularly and minutely dissected, put together again in every order imaginable and argued over endlessly. There is no national characteristic, either real or imagined, which has not been lamented, and its consequences listed. But when it comes to transferring the words into deeds – well, that is the trouble with Poles: argumentative, undisciplined, no follow-through, straw fire, as any Pole will tell you, interminably.

    However, this is a game only the home team can play. They would rather not have their faults pointed out by others. Under attack, they will defend every flaw, usually beginning with the phrase, But you couldn’t possibly understand, the problem is so Polish. Persist and you will offend and, with a Pole, taking offence comes only too easily, although luckily it doesn’t last long. The most perfect solutions to all their problems more often than not are arrived at late at night, with alcohol fumes heating the air, but are forgotten with the hangover in the morning.

    How they see others

    Slavonic brotherhood notwithstanding, the Poles have always considered that East is East and West is best and the twain meet on Poland’s eastern frontiers. If money talks, then what it tells the Poles is to travel west when seeking fame and fortune because to the east lie lands that are rich with people who are poor and who cannot afford Polish plumbers.

    If money talks, then what it tells the Poles is to travel west when seeking fame and fortune.

    Their Russian neighbours are seen as brutish; a people born to be dominated, neither enterprising nor hard working, their successes being put down to sheer weight of numbers and ownership of essential raw materials. Although wary of the Russian mafia, on whom they lay the blame for the rise in their own crime rate, the Poles were quick to capitalise on the opportunities that trade with Russia and its former empire offered and many a fortune was made, and lost, on the tricky Russian market. Because of this familiarity, the Poles were the first to warn of the danger of Russia’s stranglehold on world resources. Now, when Russians turn off the gas tap with every cold snap, the rest of Europe can more easily understand Polish fears and resentment.

    The Poles find their other neighbours, the Germans, a dull lot who, left to their own devices, will stay in their own backyard and nurture Heimat, but as a nation (whether by war or trade) are born to dominate. Though some Poles still worry that Germany might try to reclaim Silesia, an ever-increasing army of Polish migrants are making their home there, and most Poles hope that EU membership of both parties will keep German militancy at bay.

    The Poles have the misfortune to be sandwiched between the two giants and try to turn it to their advantage by playing business partner to either and middleman to both. But then, they’re adept at dancing on tightropes.

    The Poles have the misfortune to be sandwiched between the two giants and try to turn it to their advantage… They’re adept at dancing on tightropes.

    For nations to admire, Poles look further afield. Most frequently, in search of style gurus, they turn to Italy, and not for the first time in history. Bona Sforza, wife of Zygmunt the Aged, introduced the Renaissance to Poland, along with architects, artists and craftsmen, and revolutionised Polish cuisine by bringing lettuce, leeks, cabbages and cauliflowers from Italy with her. In the 18th century, Bacciarelli and Canaletto painted Warsaw, which was being remodelled by, amongst others, Italian architect Dominic Merlini. After the Second World War, Canaletto’s paintings were used as a guide for the reconstruction of streets and façades that the Germans had demolished.

    For centuries the Poles, especially the aristocracy, slavishly followed French style from language to fashion, and lived in France if they could afford it. Poles who fought bitterly to save themselves from becoming Russians or Germans voluntarily made themselves imitation Frenchmen. Napoleon was revered, though he only saw the Poles as cannon fodder, and Polish law and many civil institutions are based on the Napoleonic code. But French xenophobia and frequent ganging up

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