Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

Shatter Me
Shatter Me
Shatter Me
Ebook425 pages6 hours

Shatter Me

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

()

Read preview

About this ebook

The gripping first installment in New York Times bestselling author Tahereh Mafi’s Shatter Me series.

One touch is all it takes. One touch, and Juliette Ferrars can leave a fully grown man gasping for air. One touch, and she can kill.

No one knows why Juliette has such incredible power. It feels like a curse, a burden that one person alone could never bear. But The Reestablishment sees it as a gift, sees her as an opportunity. An opportunity for a deadly weapon.

Juliette has never fought for herself before. But when she’s reunited with the one person who ever cared about her, she finds a strength she never knew she had.

And don’t miss Defy Me, the shocking fifth book in the Shatter Me series!

LanguageEnglish
PublisherHarperCollins
Release dateNov 15, 2011
ISBN9780062085511
Author

Tahereh Mafi

Tahereh Mafi is the New York Times bestselling author of the Shatter Me and This Woven Kingdom series, the latter of which has been published in over 30 languages around the world. She was born in a small city somewhere in Connecticut and currently resides in Santa Monica, California, with her husband, Ransom Riggs, fellow bestselling author of Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children, and their young daughter. She can usually be found overcaffeinated and stuck in a book.

Read more from Tahereh Mafi

Related to Shatter Me

Titles in the series (8)

View More

Related ebooks

YA Dystopian For You

View More

Related articles

Reviews for Shatter Me

Rating: 3.9668659426008968 out of 5 stars
4/5

2,007 ratings232 reviews

What did you think?

Tap to rate

Review must be at least 10 words

  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Another really great read! I wasn't expecting it to be so good! I have had this one on my list for a long time now. When I started to read it I realized I couldn't even remember what it was about! I was surprised to read it was a dystopian novel. I haven't read on in quite awhile so it worked out! I'm really interested in seeing where this story goes and how things develop. I especially love the relationship between Adam and Juliette. I love that they have a really great history so it doesn't make it so much of the instant love.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I had been putting starting this series as I thought I was going to hate it. I was wrong! I am not normally a fan of Science Fiction and Dystopian, but I ended up enjoying the plot on this one.I was intrigued with the story right away, especially with Juliette being imprisoned. However; I was not a huge fan of the writing style or the scratch off sections. This did not come off as a journal, so to me it did not make sense. I know Juliette is carrying a journal, but the story is not written from the POV of the journal. I did not think it brought anything to the story, and I could have gone without these parts. I also do not love when words are reported over and over again in a sentence. The author did that very often.I ran through the first few chapters, then did not feel like picking it back up as it slowed down. I started reading this in physical copy and then switched to audio to help get through the middle. I ended up loving it on audio, and recommend giving it a try if you have been wanting to read this. I think the narrator for the audiobook brought the character and emotion to life, and I enjoyed her.I know others had issues with the lack of the development within the world. I actually liked that it was not complicated or something that half the book described. I did not have a hard time understanding the world. The ending reminded a lot of The Hunger Games. Hoping the rest of the series is as good and does not go downhill like the Hunger Games though.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Juliette has spent the last 264 days locked in a cell for accidentally killing a young boy. Her touch is lethal, painfully draining the life from anyone she touches. Because of this, her parents hated her, people feared her and kids at school picked on her. Juliette thought life outside the prison cell was bad enough. Food is limited, animals are almost extinct, people are starving and birds can no longer be seen flying in the sky. The Reestablishment regime has taken over, planning to rebuild the world. They plan to do away with everything from the world before – essentially wiping out history – starting fresh, creating a new language and a new way of living.When Adam is locked up with Juliette, he looks familiar to her for some reason, but she can’t quite remember why. Her mind isn’t the same since they put her away. The more time she spends with Adam, the more she trusts him, and eventually she realizes how she knows him, but does he remember her?When Juliette and Adam are forcefully taken from their cell, Juliette learns that the Reestablishment has plans for her. They want to use her as a weapon to aid them in ridding the world of anyone who fights back against them. But, Juliette isn’t easily swayed. She won’t be a killer. She will fight back, and in the process she will learn her powers are much stronger than she realized.I tore through this book in a day. The prose is lyrical and hypnotizing, though the similes and metaphors tend to run wild at times. Ms. Mafi gives Juliette a very distinct voice which makes the novel even more captivating. I loved the mix of dystopia, romance and paranormal elements, and I loved the characters. Juliette’s fear, mistrust and mental anguish are perfectly balanced with her need to be loved and understood. Adam is the perfect romantic lead and I really liked the relationship he and Juliette have. I can’t wait for the next book!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Shatter Me is one of those books that you either love or hate, because of the style of writing. In my opinion, I loved it. Tahereh Mafi was able to make me feel like I was in Juliette's head. Which I adore! I read mostly to escape from my life, and this book was the perfect thing for that. The book is like Juliette's journal, with cross-outs and (as much as I hate to say it...) run-on sentences. But, they were intentional! (I hope.)As I said before, while reading this book, it felt like I was in Juliette's head, watching everything she saw through her eyes. As a character, I loved Juliette! She was both likeable and strong. She was not weak, although she was scared of the power she had. The voice was clear and it was enough to make me adore this novel. Speaking a bit more about characters, Adam is probably my favorite guy/hero/love-interest in the many books I have read in 2012! He cared so deeply for Juliette, accepted her for who she was. There were obviously some special circumstances surrounding those two, but I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't read it yet! Then there's Warner, who is seriously captain creeps! I could see that he was in 'love' with Juliette, but I honestly believe that he was in love with her powers more than anything. He was bloodthirsty and trigger happy and just plain vicious!Then, there is the setting. As much of a post-apocaplyptic world it was, I didn't find anything special or different about it as opposed to other recent dystopian-type reads. There was a government taking over, the people were in distress, what else is new? Except for maybe the big emphasis on the military aspect to it, the 'world' wasn't anything special. I think that was the only main thing that disappointed me in the entire book, but it was such a small part of the actual story, the outside world I mean, that I don't really care too much about it! Seeing as I don't want to give anything away, I can't say much on what we do learn about it.It's strange, but as much as I loved this book, I don't actually have a lot more to say about it. It's not a book that I can easily explain my thoughts on for some reason. But, what I can say is that what I did absolutely, 100 % love about Shatter Me is that it clearly has a beginning, a middle and an end. Even though it is the first in a trilogy, it is it's own book. I think that the author did a great job in leaving us wanting more, but still satisfied with what we've got.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Read from December 30 to 31, 2011I'm finished and I really like where it ended. Can't wait to read more! (Though I do wish the dystopian YA genre would give the love interest part a rest. Why does every girl have to fall in love with some good looking guy? Why can't she be strong and on her own?)Mid-Read Review:I'm currently halfway through the book and it's so good I don't want to stop reading. But I keep noticing tiny similarities between Juliette and Briony from Chime that I felt I must write it now (I just finished Chime so forgive me for making comparisons between two very different books). Both characters have a bit of self-loathing because of what others have told them their entire lives. They've got "gifts" that others see as bad things so they've learned to hate their gifts...and thus themselves a bit. The difference is in the storytelling though...Chime never really gave me a sense of time and place. I knew it was somewhere in England, not London, but somewhere and probably in the early twentieth century and they believed in witches (but Briony was kind of an unreliable narrator so I was never sure of anything).But I believe Juliette. Like Juliette, she has moments of overwhelming memory. There's a lot of stream of consciousness, but it isn't confusing, you just get it. And thankfully she doesn't ever discuss herself in the third person.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I buddy read Shatter Me with Seann and Anna of YA Buddy Readers’ Corner ♥. I had fun, girls! Can’t wait to read more with you guys!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥Shatter Me is a book that has been on my TBR list for years, so I was excited—and terrified—to finally give it a shot. I have to say the experience was a real shock for me. It had all the classic hallmarks of a YA dud and it somehow became a book I couldn’t get enough of! What is the witchcraft?!While I was reading this book, I never would have expected to give Shatter Me a rating above three stars. Let me explain why:Purple. Prose. Oh god, guys, I had a real hard time with it in the beginning. It seemed like every sentence was flowery nonsense this and stupid metaphors this.Now, it’s totally fine here and there (well, sort of…) and I love a good metaphor as much as the next person, but after five chapters of nonstop flowery writing I just wanted to GET ON WITH THE STORY ALREADY.Insta-love! I wasn’t as butt hurt about the insta-love as I was about the purple prose, but I wasn’t sold on it (at first). I had so many doubts about Juliette and Adam. View Spoiler »The dreaded love triangle! Y’all know I am not a fan of these. They are messy, overly dramatic page-fillers.So how does this train-wreck turn into a solid four star review? Yes, the purple prose was hella annoying and I had a ton of doubts about Juliette and Adam as a couple (I kind of still do), but there was just so much more to enjoy about this book. By the time I had finished it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to just stop at book one.The characters were mesmerizing and shrouded in mystery (especially the ones that seemed unimportant to the story and the plot, but more on those later).Juliette is your typical Cinderella-esque YA heroine. Juliette is ignored, abused, hated, and tossed in a cell in insane asylum and left to die, until one day a beautiful hunk is tossed in with her and everything changes. It was hard not to feel for Juliette. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve pitied a fictional character more (okay, maybe Acheron, but he’s a whole ‘nother story). It was heartwarming to watch her learn to embrace her differences and to see her powers not as a curse or a disease, but as a way to fight back against the Reestablishment. I couldn’t help but cheer her on! And for being a depressed heroine (for good reason), she wound up being surprisingly funny at times.I had conflicting emotions for both Adam and Warner all throughout the novel. It wasn’t always clear which one was the good guy and which one was the bad guy, and I kind of enjoyed it. My feelings were really wishy-washy, because with every new reveal about their pasts, I had a dozen more questions. In the end, there was a clear bad guy and I finally got some much-needed answers about Adam’s past. Warner’s past is still a total mystery, and the girls and I agreed that we NEED MORE WARNER! Or at the very least, we need his back story.My all time favorite character? At first, he appeared to be a largely unimportant character to the plot, but he wound up being crucial to the plot. Kenji was a big, lovable goofball and pretended to be dumber than he actually was, all for a genius reason that you’ll just have to find out for yourself. :) I’m guessing he will have a bigger part in book two, and I absolutely can’t wait!Another reason this book wound up a winner, is because Mafi made me question everything I knew to be true about this book. At first, the writing did not impress me, but in the end, I couldn’t question her talent any longer. The purple prose might have been a turn off at first, but she really threw me for a loop by the end of the book—several loops. I may have doubted her writing in the beginning, but the unreliable narration sold this book for me. Every time she revealed a plot twist or revealed an answer to my question, she proved how much I underestimated her ability to shock, amaze, and write a well-thought out novel. By the end of the book, nothing was as it seemed and I loved it!I’m glad I was able to look past the flaws, because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to add it to my 2016 Favorite books! If you are a fan of flawed, but surprisingly twisted books, give Shatter Me a shot. You may not enjoy it as much as I did, but you’ll definitely feel something.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    OH WOW DID I LOVE THIS! (Okay, caps are actually necessary here!) Juliette's spot-on, and with everything that's happened to her, I really felt the fine line of sanity she's walking on (with what she'd been through, it's a freaking miracle she's not nuts!). I loved that her internal dialogue belied her fear, weaknesses, everything, but on the outside she was tough as nails. And Adam--can I haz him? Please? Can't wait for the next book!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    What is it like to feel different? weird? UNIQUE. Juliette is a girl; a girl who can't be touched by another human being without inflicting pain on them. And she has been locked up for this. Until one day, she's released - under the condition that she be used as a weapon. But she has plans of her own.This book is about so much more than a girl who has supernatural powers. It's about what it's like to be considered "different" in society. And how you can overcome that feeling and find acceptance within yourself. It's about finding love and how that love can make anything possible. It can change the way you see yourself and the way you see the world.Tahereh Mafi's debut novel blew me away. I finished it in one sitting and found myself begging for the more at the end. And while I felt like the first half of the book was more character driven (which I liked a lot!), I LOVED the action-packed second half of the novel.If you loved The Hunger Games, you're going to gobble this one up!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Shatter Me...Oh, Shatter Me! This book has me so confused! First off, I love this book. I love the world, the characters, and the writing. Anna is an amazing heroine. She is tough, caring, quiet, and yet you can tell there is something dark in her at times. Readers can really connect with her story and get the sense of just how alone she has been in the world all of her life. In regards to Anna, I thought I would find the cross out words annoying or distracting. They were the exact opposite. They offered the reader another way to connect to Anna's character; expressing not only her feelings, but her eventual transformation. Adam is also a likeable character. He is sweet, caring, and protective. However, there was another man that pushed his way into the spotlight, stole the show, and made me feel all together uncomfortable. Warner ...never have I ever liked such an absolutely despicable villain so much in my entire life. He is right up there with the king of literary villains, but something about him is so compelling. I must admit that I had to go online and google to see if I was the only "freak" who felt this way. Thankfully on Ms. Mafi's website she explains that this doesn't make me weird. The last character that really stood out to me is Kai. There is something about his shameless flirting that is highly appealing and I hope to see much more of him in the sequel. When writing a post-apocolyptic/ dystopian novel world building is one of the most important things a writer must get right. If readers can't picture the world, they can't connect to the book. The world that Shatter Me takes place in is absolutely brilliant! My only complaint is that I found this world so intriguing that I wish there had been much more background information on how it got that way and what is going on now. My last gushing point that Shatter Me does absolutely fabulous on is the violence! I love a book that gets down and dirty with the fighting. Shatter Me's violence and darkness is what turns a good book into a great one!. The second installment can't come soon enough for me.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Review courtesy of All Things Urban FantasyI could tell from the first page that there were going be people who didn’t like SHATTER ME. The writing is unusual bizarre crazy interesting. Because the story is told from the perspective of a girl who has basically been in solitary confinement for almost a year, her thoughts aren’t exactly what you’d call lucid. At least not initially. The pages are littered with crossed out hopes fears thoughts and lyrical descriptions that trend towards delirium at times. Unlike several of the reviews I’ve seen, I found it fascinating on just about every level.When we meet Juliette, she as close to crazy as you can get before the monsters get you. She’s torments by her past, half starved from lack of food and human interaction. She is a broken and tragic figure…and that’s before we even really learn why. It takes a new cellmate—her first ever—to draw Juliette back from the edge of insanity, and help show her the strength she possesses to fight back. The kissing scenes in this book are epic…I mean wow. They go on for pages, but never feel drawn out. I think I could read an entire book by Mafi that is just kissing scenes. It also made perfect sense that kisses would practically overwhelm this character since she’s spent almost her entire life devoid of human contact. In a lot of ways, SHATTER ME is a traditional superhero origin story, but it’s more than that too. It’s a really beautiful love story between two characters who grew up watching the suffering of the other and finding each other again in a pre-1984 world. It’s the story of corruption and power hungry groups that prey on a weak moment in human history and reshape it to suit themselves. And ultimately, it’s the story of a girl who has always been afraid of herself finally learning to see herself as something other than a monster. It’s a powerful, thought provoking story, written in a way that is uniquely suited to it’s protagonist. I can’t wait for the sequel.Sexual Content:Kissing. Scenes of mild sensuality
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I’ve heard from various sources that the main complaint they’ve had with this story was its being essentially 338 pages of set-up for the next book. We get introduced and well acquainted with some very strong and captivating characters but very little insight into what was actually going on. And yeah, that assessment is pretty much dead on, but it doesn’t mean that the story is short on awesome.When we begin Juliette believes herself to be a patient in an insane asylum. In her post apocalyptic world, resources, wildlife, safety and humanity amongst humans is growing increasingly rare. The remaining people are subject to a rigid military rule that leaves little tolerance for the unexplained and no one can explain Juliette. It is a complete mystery why the simple touch of her hand on another person can result in excruciating pain, so the world locks her away and forgets about her. Months later, Juliette is given a roommate, a young man named Adam with blue eyes that are unmistakably familiar to her. Adam is her first human contact in a long time and with him she tentatively begins to build a friendship that has her toying with the idea that she might not be crazy. And she’s right, she’s not in an asylum and she’s far from crazy- she’s a military experiment.Something happened with this book that hasn’t happened for several books now- it’s filled with dogeared pages marking some exemplary passages. Mafi’s writing is tinged throughout with moments of OMG, some had me pausing to reread, or take in what she was describing. There’s nothing I love more than having pages that I simply HAVE to go back and revisit. I felt Mafi’s writing was far superior to the actual story and she could have been telling me anything and I would have bought it.Juliette’s story is a scary one, and she’s not only scared for herself, she’s scared of herself. Where so many authors would take this opportunity to have their MC miraculously and heroically discover an untapped source of bravery and brawn, Mafi lets Juliette experience the terror of her situation just as she should. Not everyone with super powers is a hero. Not yet anyway. I prefer to think that in future installments, Juliette will come into her own gradually, as befits her personality.I’m still not sure what to make of Adam, our captor/hero/love interest. I’m not sold on him completely as he falls into the group of heroes particular to YA fiction in which he lets his love suffer “for her own good.” And he isn’t broody enough- you know how I like them.Final thoughts? We need more authors like Mafi in YA. You know, ones who can actually write. I can’t wait for the sequel and I’m really interested to see where Warner’s story goes. Underneath he’s desperately afraid of appearing weak and I almost think he feels he needs someone as powerful as Juliette to love him in order to validate his position- which could make a man very, very desperate.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Ack. I wish this was better. Mafi makes some interesting literary moves (redaction, etc) & there are moments of enjoyable writing but ultimately this feels like a "paranormal teen romance." Weird to complain about a genre book being generic, but there you go. I want more.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    What I LovedEmotionsThere are so many emotions in all the words and descriptions I couldn't help but completely become very involved with the characters and the story. At first I wasn't so sure about the cross out text, but as the story progressed and we got to understand Juliette I came to enjoy her personal censorship.Characters Juliette: I'm very impressed with her character, in the beginning I was a little worried that I wouldn't care for her and that she might annoy me, thankfully that wasn't the case. I loved how strong of a character she is and even though she has gone through a lonely life she hasn't let that make her bitter and mean. Adam: I completely love love his character, he is going to be on my list of favorite boys in the YA genre. I love his passion, I love his compassion, his tenderness, and his complete devotion to the ones he loves.Warner: I really hope there aren't any Warner fans out there I read Tarereh's faq and one of the questions is "Is it wrong that I like Warner" In my opinion, yes! He is a freaking fanatical psychotic nut job, but he does make for a great obsessive villainous character. Sorry to all you Warner fans out there, he has a lot of redemption to make up to become a likable character in my eyes. RomanceWOW, just awesome romance. The romance was a perfect blend of sweet, touching, intense and hot.What I Didn't Like I have to wait a whole year for the next book. I hate love hate love love/hate you fellow bloggers for making me read this book now, completely torture that I have to wait for more. At the same time the story is pretty amazing and I'm glad I didn't wait to read this one. I guess I am just going to have to re-read the books with each new book release.Recommendation Got to read this book.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    The cover caught my eye. The cover summary intrigued me. The writing style held me close. Without Tahereh Mafi's use of strikethrough, I don't think this book would have had a profound effect on me. I felt the angst of Juliette. I got to know what she was thinking. She brought me into the story. We all ramble when speaking, especially when emotional about a subject. We all have thoughts in our head that we don't express. We all say one thing, while thinking another. That's why Juliette was real. Let alone the partnership she had with Adam.One of my favorite reads of 2011!
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    There was great potential in this idea, and if it's actually executed in the rest of the series then it would most definitely be worth reading. It's enjoyable enough to want to see if something actually happens in the next book but a bit of a disaster in itself. My biggest problem was with the writing style. I realize the numbers are a bit of a theme, but the repeats get annoying get annoying get annoying (see?). It was also annoying that the first hundred pages were mostly simple sentences, fragments, and repeats. There was no description. There really wasn't even anything going on. Actually, that applies to a lot of the book. The plot was nearly non-existent it was so slow. It basically consists of every character sitting around doing nothing, though sometimes saying that they did something rather that showing the characters doing it, until they FINALLY do something, which is the climax of the story. It was entirely too predictable what happens and is filled with a lot of unnecessary fluff. I really hated Juliette. Want a strong female character? NOT HER! Honestly, when you give a slogan like "My Touch is Power" you expect your heroine to be more than the whiny mess that is Juliette. All she does is cry and ask them to kill her...many times...it's really pathetic. Seriously, she tells herself she's strong in one sentence and then just a few sentences later she tells them to shoot her? Adam wasn't much better than Juliette. Warner was also pretty sad, but in a creepy way since he's our antagonist. There is absolutely no way Warner will ever be a real love interest, especially since Juliette and Adam have their insta-love. Okay, okay. Apparently their love developed through all those years they never talked or interacted AT ALL, but do we see that? Not really. We're just told that it did and expected to take that without seeing any kind of development. Kenji...Insert Jar Jar Binks. I think that is the best explanation of his character. I literally threw this book across the room more than once. The ending makes up for the travesty that is the rest of the book only because it sets you up for expecting something to finally happen in the next book and there is the slightest change in Juliette's persona that might make her develop into a character that would be acceptable. Even though I haven't read the second one to know if it's any good, it'd just be better to start with it than waste time with this one. It really only provides a brief history and you'd get the same from a good paragraph synopsis as you do from the whole book.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Welcome to Shatter Me, please, enjoy the ride and don't forget to take your bag of hope before you leave! Ready? Come with me, please.Facts:- I read it in one night and one morning. Not because I wanted to stop but because I had had a rough day and couldn't keep my eyes open.- I wanted to hug Juliette after reading the first page and keep her safe.- I told my husband about the book and after that he kept sending me messages to know what was going on. Which I found hilarious and sweet.- The characters were so real...Juliette has been trapped in a cell for 264 after a homicide she didn't want to do... but it happened and she was convinced that, without her the world would be safer secure. Besides? She never had a real friend or the love of her parents who often remembered her that she was a freak, an abomination that couldn't be their daughter.With nothing awaiting her outside and a world where a group called The Reestablishment had taken the control her hopes were none. To begin with, this group proclaimed that they wanted to help the world reach a better place, find answers for the problems that were raising with Mother Earth and take care of the people.And looks like, with nothing better to choose, we chose them.Big mistake. Ever.All they did was slave people, kill the rebels and use their power to terrorize everybody.But the hope of our heroine began to blossom again when a new roommate entered her life. Another human being, probably a lunatic, was with her, in the same room, a boy. And... somehow, she remembered him from somewhere.What began as a scary situation developed into a pure love that would change their world completely.That is until Juliette realized that Adam was only spying on her and that a handsome but cruel boy wanted to use her to torture and kill people.Personal opinion:I have to admit, at the beginning it was hard to follow Juliette's thoughts because she kept repeating words, phrases, crossing out things she wanted to say but was afraid to do so.And then Tahereh caught me in the world she had created for Juliette and didn't let me go.Soon I realized that the way Juliette thought was authentic, her own personality trying to break free from the prison that her life had become. The transition we share with her during the book allow us to see, with our own eyes, how her confidence improves, how she begins to say what she really thinks and that she is not longer afraid of being authentic.What I loved most about her? She is strong. Truly strong. I picture her as a phoenix who, doesn't matter how many times you hurt her and try to destroy her, she will rise again, strong and beautiful, with her hopes intact.The world chose to hate her? Fine. She understood that but she would never hurt anyone on purpose. And that defines her very well.Adam will also enchant you with his charisma. He is simply amazing, a true gentleman, a kind soul that always looked out for Juliette. His side of the story is very important and you will also develop strong feeling towards him. Their relationship was fire and steam because, somehow, he could... Well, no spoilers, you know me ;)And, of course, I can't forget our bad guy: Warner. It's rare for me to like the bad guys, you know? Specially people like Warner, heartless, cruel and mischievous but he is such, such a complex character! Amazingly done, Tahereh! This bad guy, being a cruel soul and all, will leave your heart sad. You will want to hug him, at least once. And then you will want to punch him a lot. Which is normal, believe me.Anyway, my final opinion? Buy the book, read it and treasure it. The end will leave you with a smile in your face and your heart full of hope. The next book will be, for sure, amazing and marvelous. It's impossible to think otherwise.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Any contact with Juliette’s skin causes instant pain which can lead to death and no one knows why. When her touch accidentally kills a toddler, she is locked up by The Reestablishment, a group who has come to power by convincing everyone that their way is the only way to fix things. With the world falling apart and thousands dying of disease and starvation, it is easy for the hopeless to believe. After 264 days of being locked in an asylum with absolutely no human contact, Juliette is finally let out--but what awaits her is worse than being in that concrete room. Warner, the son of the man in charge of The Reestablishment, wants to use her power as a weapon in the war he believes is coming, but Juliette wants nothing to do with his plan to turn her into a killing machine.I love the concept of this and found it really refreshing. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book about people with powers that didn’t involve werewolves, vampires, etc (which I’m getting rather bored of). As for the plot, I felt like everything happened rather quickly--not necessarily in a bad way though. This is an action packed book that holds your attention from start to finish. I was blindsided quite a bit which is always great since I’ve become quite good at guessing what’s going to happen next. My favorite thing about Shatter Me was definitely the characters. Juliette had a rough childhood and for 17 years was used to people being terrified of her and calling her a freak. It was great seeing her go from being withdrawn and insecure to confident and courageous. She almost becomes an entirely new person by the end; the kind and caring girl from the beginning is still there, just much stronger. Mafi depicts Juliette’s voice perfectly, especially at the beginning of the novel with all of the strikethrough when she feels the most alone and is trying to hide her emotions. The writing is truly amazing and like nothing I’ve read before.Adam is caring, smart, and extremely mature for his age; he has had to deal with so much at such a young age. Their romance is really sweet and he is one of the biggest reasons for Juliette’s change. And then there’s Warner who is just in love with the idea of her. He is the definition of obsessed and it’s a bit frightening. But...is it bad that I kind of almost maybe liked Warner a little bit? I have no idea what it is about him...I kept having to remind myself that he was the bad guy. Last, but certainly not least, is Kenji. I feel like every book needs a Kenji, especially if it’s a book about running for your life. He is hilarious; even with a bullet in his leg he still manages to crack jokes. I can’t wait to see more of him in the sequel, Unravel Me.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    VOYA Rating: 3Q 4PRecommended – additional purchaseJuliette has been locked up by the Reestablishment and is on the verge of losing her sanity. She has no human contact, until one day and boy is thrown into her cell. Juliette recognizes the boy, Adam, from school. They do not acknowledge this connection for fear of punishment. But Adam is the only person who has ever been nice to Juliette. Her parents and society want nothing to do with her. All of a sudden she is let out of her cell and swept up to the highest ranks of the Reestablishment. Warner, who is 19, is in charge of the military and responsible for getting Juliette out of prison. In exchange, he wants her to help him keep his power. Juliette begins to realize the extent of her power and begins to fall in love with Adam. Fortunately, Adam is part of the resistance and they come up with a plan to run away. The story unravels betrayal, action and romance. As she accepts the Resistance, she is provided with a suit that allows her to touch other people. She begins to hone her new found power in a positive way after she refuses to use it for evil.This book is set in a dystopian nation after environmental and political power grabbing have destroyed the planet. The military based Reestablishment has a firm grip on solders and civilians. Warner rules by instilling fear. The story starts out in this dystopia and ends on a more comic book like note. Perhaps the 2nd book will clear up some of the left over questions. It seemed that some elements of X-Men played into the story and Juliette began to resemble Rogue. After some discussions with my art teacher, she said that re-appropriation is a post-modern technique that many artists use. So, perhaps it stood out to me because I wasn’t expecting the ending. It could be a good thing? The style of writing was unique. Juliette’s thoughts were crossed out, but you could still read them. The things she said out loud were not what she was thinking. So, that was pretty unique and worth mentioning. I enjoyed the romance and the fast paced action in the 2nd half of the book. I would recommend it to high school students and have placed a copy in my library. I also found the publisher book trailer and emailed out to all my students in an effort to get them to read this book.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Okay, for someone who claims they don't like dystopian (me), I certainly enjoyed this book! Maybe the genre's growing on me. I do like the revolutionary ideas behind the genre, that's for sure. Shatter Me is an empowering novel about one girl's fight to stay true to herself. Juliette doesn't want to be a monster, even though society (including her own parents) treat her like she is. Shatter Me has well-developed characters and an intriguing plot. The world-building is lacking a bit, though. I wanted to hear more about what has happened to the world. I don't know how it felt to live in such a destroyed society. I know how it felt to be locked up and treated like a monster because that's what Juliette was going through, but she didn't know much about the state of the world. I'm assuming the world was extremely oppressive from what little I did learn about it, but I hope that Mafi builds this world up a bit more in the sequel. Juliette has to be one of the most unique main characters I've read about in a long time. Her narrative voice was extremely different from most female YA leading ladies. She was very much herself and unapologetic for that fact. That could be due to the fact that she'd been isolated her entire life, so she never cared what people thought. However, I really enjoyed seeing the world through her eyes. Things were a bit jumbled and eccentric, and she had a tendency to repeat words three times in a row. I thought that would have been annoying, but it wasn't. It was endearing. Mafi has almost a poetic quality to her writing, and Juliette's descriptions of things really captured that. Juliette was brave, strong, and caring. She didn't want to hurt people, and she felt awful when she was forced to or when she did accidentally. Juliette has a lot of potential to grow into an amazing character over these next few novels. She already grew quite a bit in Shatter Me. I can't wait to see what changes she goes through next. Adam is also pretty perfect. Sure he's flawed and doesn't always know what to do, but he means well. He's a caring person and wants to do what's best for those he loves. You certainly can't fault the guy for that. Also, I have a weakness for guys who have black hair and blue eyes, so that also put him on my good side. I really liked his character, and I can't wait to learn more about him and his and Juliette's past in the next book. Warren, on the other hand, is one of the most vile villains I've ever read. I seriously don't think the guy has a soul. I mean usually I love the tortured, misunderstood-seemingly-evil guy, but he is just too much. The things he does to Juliette are disgusting. He is a complete psychopath. I think the creepiest part about him is that there are people out there like him. Just look at the news. It's terrifying how realistic he is. I never wanted to get that close to someone like him. However, he does add a lot of suspense to this novel. I'm interested to see how he changes over the course of time and if he can redeem himself somehow.The plot is captivating and kept me hooked throughout the entire novel. I wanted to learn more about the world that Juliette lives in. Mafi did get a bit "causey" at times. She seemed to use her characters as mouthpieces to preach about her causes. I could be mistaken, but that's how it seemed. I agreed with most of her causes, though, so it didn't really bother me. I know a lot of people don't believe that authors should use books and characters to state their own views, but to me you're supposed to be honest to yourself and what you believe. If that includes using a character to discuss your beliefs, then that's fine. Basically Mafi just spoke out about oppression, absolute power, and careless behavior that destroyed the world. It's nothing religious or that controversial. I think we all can agree that something needs to be done about how the world is right now. Anyway, other than that, which may or may not bother you, the plot was excellent. The pacing is spot on, and the ending wraps up most of the questions raised in this novel while leaving room for the sequel. Overall, I'd recommend this book to anyone, whether or not they are dystopian fans because it's so much more than just another dystopian novel. It's a story about finding yourself and standing up for what you believe is right. It's a story about not compromising your beliefs no matter what selfish benefits may come your way if you do. It's a story about love and loss and hope, and it will stick with you for a long time. Shatter Me is one of those unforgettable novels that burrows into your heart and refuses to let go. You do not want to miss this book.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I got multiple anonymous messages on tumblr telling me to read this book because of a certain amoral love (?) interest. But I kept putting it off because, you know, YA dystopia. And, well, I read it very quickly and I'm... conflicted.
    I liveblogged it on my blog and I spent a lot of time being baffled by the prose. Ok, here's the thing. Purple prose and flowery prose is great when it's done well (think Cat Valente's Deathless or Laini Taylor's Daughter of Smoke and Bone) but it takes a long time for a writer's prose to get to a point where it doesn't just sound ridiculous and pretentious (Cat Valente's early work is messy messy messy). So, this was... a prosaic mess. She used the word Shatter 7 times (I kept count because, you know, if it's in the title it's going to be noticed), she kept likening the protagonist to butter (I... I'm still confused), all the make out scenes the protagonist was on fire (it was always fire. every time. fire.) she used hyperbole to the extreme (like i was genuinely concerned for Juliette's well being because her jaw kept falling off and her organs were always rearranging themselves). My favourite moment was here:

    "Every butterfly in the world has migrated to my stomach."
    Me: THAT'S SO MANY BUTTERFLIES H OLY SHIT

    There was a lot of that. It was, frankly, incredibly distracting. (Also unintentionally hilarious. I understand that most people find this book to be beautifully written, but I just found it really really funny.)
    I'm not saying Tahareh Mafi is a bad writer. Not at all. In fact, I think she's going to be amazing. Once she gets ahold of what she's trying to do with prose and maybe branch out with her metaphors (they were always the same. She had a set group she just cycled through within the story).
    I do think there were some major issues with the editing. Like, I understood the intentional cross outs and paragraph breaks but there were... multiple formatting errors that just... should have been caught early on in the process (dialogue running into itself instead of breaking at a paragraph, things like that). I also think a different font would have fixed a lot. Like, is this being written by Juliette? Because first person POV ≠ a written account and it felt like Mafi had no idea which she was doing. Because the font implied first person, but the paragraph breaks, lack of punctuation (that was MADDENING. I HATED the lack of necessary commas), and cross outs implied hand written. I just wish she could have stuck to a method because all the little things that bothered me wouldn't have bothered me if it had been obvious this was a written account.
    I did have a huge issue with the fact that Juliette was the only girl in the book. Every time a new character was introduced wow surprise another dude. Like. Really. I thought we were past that in YA, but I guess not...
    Another slight issue was the fact that Juliette doesn't... do.... much.... Like, she has this power that kills people with her touch (X-Men. Which was it? Rogue right? Yeah just think Rogue it's pretty similar.) and apparently she's super strong when she's mad? Mostly she just got towed around by the two male characters and that frustrated me. I understand that she'd been locked away for three years so she does need time to adjust but... I dunno... I felt like she never did anything herself.
    I admit, ok, whatever, I'm weak garbage and I loved Warner. Whatever give me the young, bored, power hungry amoral character and I am yours. His scenes were my favourite (also written better? Like the writing improved when he was around?)
    Of course, other love interest, Adam, was stock protective boyfriend because everything is the same always. I liked Adam! Quite a bit actually! But... I felt like I had to suspend a lot of disbelief for the sudden relationship with Juliette and Adam to make sense. Like, yes, they went to school together but they literally never spoke but apparently they were actually always in love together and??? /?????
    Insta-love doesn't do it for me. It didn't help that Warner was a more interesting character (but emily you're biased. Yeah.)
    The dystopia background literally felt like it didn't matter. I don't understand the stakes at all. All the focus was on the romance (and that's fine!) I just wish some time was spent explaining things instead of leaving us entirely in the dark. I keep forgetting that's what dystopia always seems to do in the first book.
    I'll probably finish the trilogy. It only took me a few hours to read this (and it was slow going because I was constantly making tumblr posts about it oops) and tbh I want to know the endgame and what she's doing with the superpowers thing.
    So, yeah 2.5 stars. It wasn't terrible but there were SO MANY weird issues that were distracting.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Synopsis:Juliette hasn't touched anyone in exactly 264 days.The last time she did, it was an accident, but The Reestablishment locked her up for murder. No one knows why Juliette's touch is fatal. As long as she doesn't hurt anyone else, no one really cares. The world is too busy crumbling to pieces to pay attention to a 17-year-old girl. Diseases are destroying the population, food is hard to find, birds don't fly anymore, and the clouds are the wrong color.The Reestablishment said their way was the only way to fix things, so they threw Juliette in a cell. Now so many people are dead that the survivors are whispering war-- and The Reestablishment has changed its mind. Maybe Juliette is more than a tortured soul stuffed into a poisonous body. Maybe she's exactly what they need right now.Juliette has to make a choice: Be a weapon. Or be a warrior. Review:After all the hype about this book I had to read it to find out what the fuss was.The writing style is brilliant. I loved the strikeouts to differentiate what Juliet wanted to feel, and what she was actually prepared to feel. The wayward, jagged train of thought is poignant to a person who has withdrawal from human society, and the randomness of actions was excellent.Gradually as the story continues we don't see as much, as we realise Juliette is becoming accustomed to being around people, or in particular, Adam. Adam, from the start, came across as the good guy and I liked him immediately. The interesting twist as their characters blend is charming and alarming at the same time.Warner is someone we all know, and his clutch on Juliette was way too freaky to be normal.As the story continues it sadly brings us back to normaldom, as we experience boring quirks in the story which I didn't like. About two-thirds in I felt the story slow down to a minimum and it didn't really pick up. It meandered in a direction I wasn't expecting, and I'm not sure I really liked the outcome.I'm not sure why the Author chose to follow the end theme as we were heading in a great direction with the Reestablishment and possibly bringing it down. If Juliette had stayed there and uncovered more anomalies of Warners badness I would have been more satisfied.Instead we get a mixture of The Incredibles and X-men and it all felt a little too easy to follow a set trope instead of a proper dystopian-apocalyptic finale.Needless to say, I will read the second book but I won't rush for it.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    WARNING: The proceeding review contains some necessary & unavoidable spoilers. It also contains my honest uncensored thoughts, feelings, and opinions. I don't bite my tongue, and I really did not like this book. So, if you can't handle any of that, then I suggest you move along.Alrighty, let's begin. First of all, I honestly did not think anyone could outrank Divergent's Tris on my Most Annoying and Unlikable YA Heroines of the Year list. I was wrong. So very wrong. Juliette from The Emo Diaries Shatter Me most definitely takes the cake...and cries all over it...repeatedly.Yep, as you may have already guessed it, Juliette was probably my biggest issue with this book. For almost the entire story, the chick didn't do much more than whine, cry, tremble, shake, faint/almost-faint, get injured, gasp, freeze in place, blush, and trip over her own feet. Oh wait! Sorry. There's one more thing. She also ogled the male characters around her (cheesetastic villain included) over & over again regardless of how inappropriate the situation or timing happened to be. She was weak, ridiculously melodramatic, and nauseatingly insecure.Now, I know what some of you may be thinking. Juliette had a tough childhood. She was turned into a social pariah, bullied, and locked away in solitary confinement for almost a year. Thus, it's natural for there to be some emotional/psychological ramifications of those experiences. Yes, I agree, and I understand being traumatized and feeling scared & unsure of oneself because of what's happened and because of having such a dangerous ability.However, when faced with frightening, difficult circumstances, there are two types of people that emerge. The first type of individual allows their circumstances to break them—to turn them into a passive doormat unable to do anything but dwell on all of the negativity and on their own shortcomings. The second type of individual takes that fear & pain and channels it into inner strength & determination to eventually try to find a way to change their circumstances—to fight for a better life and not let others define who they are.I wish Juliette had been more of the latter, but unfortunately she was mostly the former. Every couple of pages for the majority of the book, the reader is told by Juliette how much she hates herself, how much she thinks she should die, how helpless & useless she is, how practically everything terrifies her, and how nervous & ashamed she constantly feels. In fact, she didn't really start developing a backbone or a sense of self-worth until the last few chapters, and regrettably this was not done for her own sake, but primarily for Adam's benefit and based almost solely on his love for her. And no, I don't consider her mouthing off to Warner as a sign of bravery & strength (not when she did next to nothing to back it up). Juliette talked the talk, but couldn't walk more than a couple of steps before falling flat on her face.Then there were the following two passages that made me want to bitch slap this book into oblivion:"Warner grips my hips and allows his hands to conquer my body. He tastes like peppermint, smells like gardenias. His arms are strong around me, his lips soft, almost sweet against my skin. There’s an electric charge between us I hadn’t anticipated." "I replay the moment over and over and over in my mind. The split second I took too long to jump from the window. The moment of hesitation that changed everything. The instant I lost all control. All power. Any point of dominance. He’s never going to stop until he finds me and it’s my own fault."Allow me to first address passage #1. Warner is a sociopathic, homicidal, creepy megalomaniac, who wants to manipulate and OWN Juliette like a shiny new toy/weapon. He has her beaten, forces her to hurt others, terrorizes her, and tries to murder the guy she loves. But despite all of that, Juliette (on several occasions) takes a moment to admire how handsome he is, how beautiful his eyes are, and how attractive his voice sounds. On top of that, she apparently finds herself enjoying being kissed by him and describes the experience in a way that implies it to be sexy & romantic.Oh, hell to the no! That is so frakked up on so many levels. How am I supposed to relate to and have respect for such a heroine? Ugh!! I'm thoroughly disturbed & disgusted. And I swear on my beloved jar of Nutella that if I find out Warner gets turned into a love interest in the sequel, I'm gonna go buy a copy of the book just so that I can put it through my paper shredder and then light it on fire (all the while yelling, "Burn motherfrakker, burn!!").Anyways, passage #2 is no less guilty of eliciting my anger. There are two major problems I have with it. Numero uno is that it's essentially an example of victim blaming, which is never okay. Warner is the only one responsible for his actions. He is a damaged, obsessive man-boy driven by his own delusions and twisted desires/motivations. He's the one who chose to hunt Juliette. He's the one who chose not to stop. Juliette did not bring that upon herself. She did not choose to become his prey nor did she do something to encourage his sick behavior. To make a statement to the contrary is beyond perverse & infuriating.Problemo numero dos is that the passage presents this maddening notion that the only way for Juliette to have a sense of control and power is through her superhuman ability. Take that away and what? She's inherently & irrevocably defenseless? She's unable to take a stand, to fight back, and to try to protect herself in other ways? Frak you, book!Sadly, the above complaints make up only the tip of the iceberg. I had many other problems with this book, but for the sake of condensing my review, I've decided to summarize some of them in the following list: - As another reviewer so astutely pointed out, this book is not dystopian fiction. In reality, it is a paranormal romance that takes place in a dystopian setting. - It is also not an action-packed adventure. By my count, there was a total of two actual action scenes. - The romance was sappy (so sappy it made me dry heave a little), and I never felt the love between Adam & Juliette. What I did feel was a whole lot of raging hormones that had the protagonists trying to tear each other's clothes off at the most inopportune times & places. - The unique writing style only worked half the time. In many instances, the strikethroughs & metaphors seemed contrived & convoluted and made little to no sense. The sporadic aversion to proper punctuation, and the random use of frequently random numbers also drove me a bit bonkers. - Too many things were overly convenient & unbelievable. A few examples: both the love interest & bad guy were immune to Juliette's deadly touch, both Juliette & Adam were immune to radiation allowing them to escape from their pursuers, a car with keys in the ignition and bags full of groceries was left behind just when the protagonists needed it the most, Juliette was able to follow a trail of blood directly to the exact location Adam was being held prisoner, and Juliette's superhuman strength miraculously made a brief appearance at the precise moment she needed to break down a steel door. - Plus, what I found to be outright silly was the fact that despite being imprisoned for 200+ days, not allowed out into the sunlight, and provided with very minimal hygienic supplies & food, Juliette doesn't end up looking emaciated & unhealthy (with brittle hair and dull bruised skin) as would be expected. Instead, she ends up looking like a supermodel, and every male she encounters finds her to be irresistibly beautiful & sexy. (Excuse while I try to unroll my eyes from the back of my head.) - Finally, for almost the entire book, there were absolutely no other females present except for Juliette. (I think you can draw your own conclusions from that little tidbit.)
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Shatter Me is a book that is pretty much drowning in the vast ocean of hype that it has fallen into. It was in Entertainment Weekly, and other forms of blogs and press. And after reading it, I can officially say that, in my opinion, it is well deserved.Juliette has a unique ability that causes her to drain the life from anyone she touches. (Now this is where people jump to the conclusion and compare her to a widely popular fictional character known as Rogue, from X-Men, who also has this "curse.") To her, she cannot touch anyone because she knows there are fatal consequences—or are there? What follows is a dynamic story filled with steamy romance, delicious villainy, some action, frequent running, and coming to discover exactly what she is capable of, and why she is the object that a cynical yet somewhat alluring villain will stop at nothing to acquire.One of the few issues I had was with the character herself. At times, I adored Juliette. Other times, I just didn't know. She is such an intriguing character that provided me understanding of why she was the way she was, and allowed me to invest some emotion into her, and yet, at times, she offered me nothing but frequent tears and many scenes that made it hard for me to believe she had the qualities of a hero at all. Bravery is one of the most important elements of Hero qualities, and while there were some scenes where she practiced the art, I couldn't really feel it.I understand Juliette. Or do I????Don't get me wrong, Juliette was still a bad-ass character that I did come to like, it just took a while for that feeling to form.Adam, on the other hand, exerts the qualities of being a hero. He is such an awesome character that I absolutely loved and I found myself a tad more invested in reading when he was included in scenes. Warner is another intriguing character I would really like to learn more of in the sequel.If I was asked what I wanted to see in the sequels, my immediate answer would be: MORE SCENES WITH ADAM AND WARNER!I DID feel a faint but distinguishable essence of X-Men-like similarities in this book toward the end like some have said, which I will leave out for possible spoilers. But, Tahereh Mafi has added her own flavor and thrown in some original things to this highly interesting novel that makes for a great read, in my opinion. I highly enjoyed this novel, and can't wait to see how 20th Century Fox will do while adapting this for the big screen. I enjoyed this novel, and I am anxiously waiting for the sequel!Although the copy I read was an Advanced Readers' Edition, I will DEFINITELY be buying a gorgeous final copy.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Do you hear that? It’s the sound of my swooning. Not only do we have a delicious romance in this debut, but Tahereh Mafi’s writing? It’s the kind I want to melt into.Having been deemed a danger to society after an accident, and given up by her parents, Juliette has been imprisoned in isolation. It’s been 264 days since she’s had any sort of human contact and her only comfort is a notebook. Despite the fact that she’s been mistreated all her life, Juliette is such a good person. I wanted to take her under my wing and take care of her. Then there was another part of me, the Warner side you could say, that wanted her take people down. She does experience some internal conflict, and we do see some of her darker moments, but despite everything she’s gone through, she’s so full of heart.The romance. Oh, the romance! Adam Kent is pretty damn amazing. There are so many sides to him, but he is a perfect boy package if I do say so myself. Going into this, knowing Juliette’s ability, I didn’t expect all that much with the relationship stuff, except maybe some flirtation, but I was so wrong. Juliette and Adam’s scenes are effing HOT. Prepare yourselves, folks, this romance is a good one.Then there’s Warner. He’s awful and all sorts of screwed up and yet…I really, really enjoyed his character. In no way would I excuse the things he did, but he’s so layered that I couldn’t help but be intrigued. There’s still so much to uncover about him, too! After the events that transpired in this one, he’s bound to get more interesting (insaneinsanesinsane).Mafi’s writing is captivating. Normal every day things — breathing! blushing! — are absolutely beautiful when she describes them. There were so many instances when I had to stop and reread what I had just read to fully appreciate the words before me.If I could single out the one issue I had with the book, it would be the ending. It wasn’t that it was bad, but it definitely took me by surprise… In the vaguest way I can say it: the familiar element from this story is being expanded into even more familiar territory and, well, I expected something more. Different. To be fair, though, I’m sure Mafi could bring a fresh twist to the direction and I am definitely excited to see how she does it in the next book.Shatter Me was a a fantastic debut and I can’t wait to get a further look at this story and its characters.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I really didn't know what to expect when I picked up Shatter Me. I've heard a lot of really great things about it from readers that I trust so I had some pretty high expectations. I'm not sure it quite filled all of them but I do have to say, Shatter Me was a fantastic read. A dystopian world that didn't always follow the rules - A romance that I felt like I was walking into the middle of before it really got started - Characters that didn't fit any norm that I had a hard time making sense of. You would think these factors might make for a less then enjoyable read but you would be very wrong! Tahereh combined everything so perfectly, making for a seamless dystopian adventure story filled with characters you won't soon forget. Especially Adam! He's almost too good to be true.So hard to actually classify this one. Dystopian, yes. But there is also something perhaps paranormal going on? Or maybe it's entirely normal but we just don't have all the pieces yet? I really just don't know! But I loved the journey of this book. I loved watching Juliette and I loved learning about her world with her.Final verdict:For a dystopian novel, Shatter Me is up there among my favorites. The romance felt true, with no clichés or love triangles. A lot of memorable characters and a world that has a lot more secrets to offer up. A fantastic debut!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    The moment I finished with this book, I quite literally wanted to flip back to the beginning and read it all over again! If I didn't have a stack of about 20 other books to read, I would have immediately! I will confess to going back through and re-reading the shower scenes (oh la la) and ALL the other swoon worthy scenes! I loved this book, and the characters are amazing! Juliette--the heroine who can kill people with her touch. I loved taking this journey with her as she is realizing that it's not a curse, but a gift. It's written like a diary, so there are thoughts marked out that really dig even deeper into her psyche. We see what she fears and her innermost desires. Some reviewers hated the way Mafi writes, but I absolutely adored it. The repetition and the metaphors captured me...if only there were more writers like her! And then there are the boys....Adam (boy of my dreams) and Warner (bad boy of my dreams). I'm not going to write much for fear of giving something away, but I have to say that Adam is just so....I can't even put it into words! I love him! He's sexy, chiseled, compassionate, obsessive, defensive, bold (oh so bold) and I love all of him!And I love the way Mafi describes his reactions to Juliette. I felt like I was right there with him! He definitely made me blush and increased my heartbeat ten fold! Now Warner...the resident bad boy of this piece. He's a walking oxymoron--obsessive yet loving, angry yet kind....I just don't know what to think about him. He wants Juliette for her power, but does it stop there? Does he love her or is it just crazy power-obsessed psychosis?? I can't wait until Unravel Me comes out....eeek! February 2013 can't get here soon enough. Until then, I'll just have to keep re-reading and dreaming!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I had a lot of high expectations for this book as the months passed. I've heard pretty much amazing things from this Dystopian book and even though I should know better than to have expectations, I'm glad I did! Because I would not have picked up this book as quickly as I had without hearing all the great things from bloggers and Goodreads friends alike.Tahereh Mafi writes...poetry. Every sentence is something deep and beautiful and adds something completely unique to a brand new cha...moreI had a lot of high expectations for this book as the months passed. I've heard pretty much amazing things from this Dystopian book and even though I should know better than to have expectations, I'm glad I did! Because I would not have picked up this book as quickly as I had without hearing all the great things from bloggers and Goodreads friends alike.Tahereh Mafi writes...poetry. Every sentence is something deep and beautiful and adds something completely unique to a brand new character in YA. Juliette. When learning all about her struggles, her past, and her current situation, I felt so much compassion and love for her. Basically, the only company she had all her life was literature which explains the way she always spoke in metaphors. But as the books continued, I fell in love with her character. She was strong, she was passionate, and she was ready to fight back! The ultimate YA heroine! I had no complaints about her. My heart ached for her pain but I just knew she was a force to be reckoned with once she found the strength within herself.That being said, it is time for me to rant: I ABSOLUTELY HATE WARNER! GRAH! I have absolutely no idea why everyone likes this guy. I can't even fathom why anyone would even be attracted to Warner. I thought that there would be something sexy and mysterious about him when I read reviews but he was disgusting and unattractive right off the bat and this only continued as I read on. First off, he's obsessed with her. There's no love, no passion, just obsession. Its disturbing how obsessed he is with her. And before any of you Warner fans attack BACK OFF! Because I have proof: Adam told Juliette that Warner had been researching her for years! Even before they met, he had her constantly in his mind which is freaky. He also had her imprisoned for 264 days just to watch her which is yes very creepy as well. He also made sure he never left her side! He could hardly get away from her! It wasn't cute, it was freaking scary! Warner isn't a misunderstood bad boy or a suffering person. He is a power hungry murderous obsessed monster who has parent issues and doesn't know when to quit. I honestly hope he dies off because people who are so warped and twisted and him do not deserve to be alive.So I am Team Adam obviously. Adam is a sweetheart. Adam is protective. Adam is a soldier who has been hardened by a war to protect the ones he loves. Not only that, but he actually has a past with her which most characters don't have with each other. I think there is so much more to Adam that meets the eye and I am so so excited to see more of him. He is an angel :) Plus, he and Juliette have passion, unlike Warner and Juliette. They are the perfect couple in my eyes.Overall, I loved this book. I don't want to refer to this book as a love triangle because outright, it's not. To me, there's no competition. Juliette knows who she wants and I love Tahereh Mafi so I hope she doesn't do anything to ruin this so far so good start to an amazing series! Can't wait for the next book!Rating: 5 out of 5 Stars
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Shatter Me is Tahereh Mafi’s debut novel, the first book in a dystopian trilogy. While a crumbling world factors into the story in a big way, Shatter Me builds on that premise with paranormal elements. It is just such an addition—the combination of those elements—that adds depth and dimension to the story.Shatter Me is the tale of 17-year-old Juliette. She’s been locked away in a prison of sorts, separated from society, shunned by family—she’s never had any friends—and all because she killed someone by accident. She was just trying to be helpful, but to do that she had to touch someone—and her touch is deadly. When you’ve been locked away in solitary confinement for months, not speaking a word, it’s a shock to get company, especially when it’s a stunning boy—but this boy, Adam, has secrets of his own.Juliette finds herself an object of desire. It becomes a battle of wits between Adam, her savior, and Warner, her jailor. And they’re not the only ones that want Juliette. The Reestablishment, the new society, wants her as a weapon, as does the opposition. Juliette has been an outcast all her life. Life is about to change in ways she could never have imagined.This novel sucks you in right away. It doesn’t waste a moment giving you dry backstory, but takes you right to the start of the action: Juliette locked away. The scenario begs for an explanation, but you don’t get that right away and that’s okay because the journey to find that answer is filled with such intricate worldbuilding, the reader remains fully engaged.The device used to convey Juliette’s inner thoughts is unusual. It consists of strikeouts of the words. This was initially annoying and can pull the reader out of the story, but over time one gets used to it. It becomes a convenient way to grasp the true nature of her feelings and show the volatility of the same.The author has a fresh grasp of language that was evidenced through her original turns of phrase. It is a pleasure to reread and ruminate over them.Shatter Me is intriguing. Imbued with mystery, romance, high-stakes action, and paranormal adventure, Shatter Me captures the reader from page one. The conclusion was particularly well done, setting the stage for the next installment in this compelling trilogy.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This cover does SHATTER ME a complete disservice. It looks typical, it looks frivolous, it looks like pedestrian YA. From the first page Juliette’s cadence makes it clear that this story is anything but ordinary. The circumstances of her upbringing are stamped indelibly on her point of view. The usual story arc of a heroine discovering happy magic powers is turned on its head, with Juliette forever scarred by the circumstances of her uncontrollable abilities. SHATTER ME offers the barest hints behind her abilities, and no explanation for a few key exceptions, but the mechanisms driving superpowers in this world are secondary to how much I enjoy Juliette herself. She’s gorgeous, she’s strong, and she’s utterly unforgettable.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    To be honest, when I first heard about this book I didn't really know if it was something for me. I also don't really like for the cover all that much. But then I found out that the author is a fellow hijabi, so I got the book and read it.

    This is under dystopia, but I don't think you can really call it that. We never really see the outside world, so we really don't get to experience that aspect of the story. If I had to call it something, I guess it would be more of a supernatural, but not really, superhero, kind of at the end, romance, the hot and heavy, kind of book. Yea. That’s it. I’ll go with that.

    The Good:

    I think the writing will be a hit or miss thing with a lot of readers. I'm not a fan of present tense or overly pretty prose, but somehow how I liked it here. I think Mafi has a talent and I hope she continues to write more books. Hopefully, she calms down a bit with the metaphors, but it was good. I think the only reason why it works is because of the main character. Someone who is always by herself and reads a lot, might read this way.

    Warner, I know that there is already a Team Adam and Team Warner thing, wow do I really hate those, but I liked him. As a villain. I already saw some of the spoilers for the next book, so I know there’s going to be a love triangle, but I’m going to hope that Warner continues doing him and doesn’t join in this whole love madness stuff. His love for Juliette isn’t real love, but an obsession to make himself more powerful. He’s stupid, but definitely a lot more interesting than everyone else in the novel.

    The Okay:

    While I didn’t mind the romance, it did feel kind of shallow. We’re told that Adam and Juliette liked each other as kids and stuff, but now that they’re older all they...no, all that Juliette can think of is how hot Adam is. I kind of wish they had more meaningful conversations about where they are. Sure they kiss a lot, but I would think that couples do more than that. I mean, when they said, “I love you,” to one another, I kind of didn’t buy it. Actually no, with Juliette I bought it. The fact that Adam was a childhood friend and he can touch her would definitely make her love him.

    But Adam? I never understood why he felt the way he did. Yes, she did a lot of nice things and was misunderstood as a kid, but how did that feeling of admiration turn into love? Especially over three years of not seeing each other? How did that feeling make Adam join the Reestablishment?

    You know, I think it’s actually an interesting point. Why did Adam join the Reestablishment? Because of Juliette? Come on now that doesn’t make sense. Plus the amount of planning and dedication to join the ranks just for a girl that you use to know? I have a heart too, I had crushes back in my heyday, but I wouldn’t join the army just to go find them. Especially an army that is apparently craycray enough to take every book ever written and destroy it. I also wouldn't get tattoos either. Perhaps Adam has a different side to him. Perhaps, he’s actually really okay with the Reestablishment and thinks they’re right? In any case, his love for Juliette doesn’t make sense.

    When it came to Juliette’s powers, I was confused. I get that it’s like Rogue (who incidentally is my favourite character in X-Men), but she can’t touch people and she has super strength. The only two people who can touch her are Adam and Warner. I’m confused about her powers and I’m also confused if the power of love is the reason why she can be touched.

    The plot was different than what I expected. I loved the beginning with Juliette in the asylum. I thought the ending was interesting with the superhero sort of angle, but everything in between didn’t really make much sense. Juliette gets captured and instead of finding out more of the Reestablishment, we get a mishmash of dinners, dress choosing, romance, and angst. Perhaps if Juliette saw how the people were being treated by the Reestablishment she’d be more against it, but it seems like she just doesn’t like Warner, so she’s against him and not the system. In fact, I don’t really understand the Reestablishment’s role here. We’re told that they want to get rid of all the books and start from scratch, but why didn’t we see any of that?

    I kind of wish that was explained a bit more. The middle did seem all over the place.

    The Bad
    I don’t really like Adam. He’s too perfect and doesn’t have a lot of flaws. Wow..that sounds bad, I didn’t mean it like that. But I do want him to have some sort of depth to him, because there isn’t really much to go on from what I read. He’s hot and that’s the only thing established. Oh and he has a younger brother.

    And that’s it.

    I want him to feel real and not just be the perfect boy for the main character. This seems to be common theme with a lot of YA novels though, so I suppose this is normal. Maybe there is some depth to him, I dunno, but we clearly didn't see much of it here.

    I also don’t like that Juliette has a reverse harem. She’s been starving for weeks, doesn’t eat much, and two of the guys love her and another one thinks she’s gorgeous. Bleh.

    I think the biggest thing I had a problem with is the lack of awareness Juliette had. If someone didn't speak for a long time, they'd have trouble picking it up again. Also, she's been in the asylum for years, during that time many things changed in the world. The only thing we see that changed is the microwave and even then that was in passing. Juliette noticed a lot of things in the asylum, but not when she was outside of it.

    Overall:

    I think there is potential for a great series here and Mafi can write well, but there are also a lot of cliches. You have the perfect guy, the lead character who is too beautiful without knowing it, and the dreaded love triangle. (I really hope this doesn't happen in the next book.) *sigh*

    I’ll still probably read Unravel Me to see if some of my questions get answered. Hopefully, we get to find out more about the world that Mafi created.

    So while I think this book does have problems, I'm still interested in seeing what will happen next.

    3 stars

Book preview

Shatter Me - Tahereh Mafi

Author’s Note

Dear Reader:

The strikethroughs in the Shatter Me books are intentional. The writing in this series is occasionally as erratic as its main character, and serves as a visual representation of the chaos in Juliette’s mind. The repetition, the hyperbolic language, the obsession with numbers—these are not errors on the page. As our heroine grows and evolves, so too does the prose, and as she finds her voice, the strikethroughs disappear, the language softens, the repetition dissolves, and the numerals ease into written words. This is, ultimately, a story of change. Thank you so much for reading.

Epigraph

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

and that has made all the difference.

—ROBERT FROST, The Road Not Taken

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Author’s Note

Epigraph

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty-One

Twenty-Two

Twenty-Three

Twenty-Four

Twenty-Five

Twenty-Six

Twenty-Seven

Twenty-Eight

Twenty-Nine

Thirty

Thirty-One

Thirty-Two

Thirty-Three

Thirty-Four

Thirty-Five

Thirty-Six

Thirty-Seven

Thirty-Eight

Thirty-Nine

Forty

Forty-One

Forty-Two

Forty-Three

Forty-Four

Forty-Five

Forty-Six

Forty-Seven

Forty-Eight

Forty-Nine

Fifty

Epilogue

Destroy Me

Prologue

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty-One

Twenty-Two

Twenty-Three

Excerpt from This Woven Kingdom

One

Two

About the Author

Books by Tahereh Mafi

Back Ads

Copyright

About the Publisher

One

I’ve been locked up for 264 days.

I have nothing but a small notebook and a broken pen and the numbers in my head to keep me company. 1 window. 4 walls. 144 square feet of space. 26 letters in an alphabet I haven’t spoken in 264 days of isolation.

6,336 hours since I’ve touched another human being.

You’re getting a cellmate roommate, they said to me.

We hope you rot to death in this place For good behavior, they said to me.

Another psycho just like you No more isolation, they said to me.

They are the minions of The Reestablishment. The initiative that was supposed to help our dying society. The same people who pulled me out of my parents’ home and locked me in an asylum for something outside of my control. No one cares that I didn’t know what I was capable of. That I didn’t know what I was doing.

I have no idea where I am.

I only know that I was transported by someone in a white van who drove 6 hours and 37 minutes to get me here. I know I was handcuffed to my seat. I know I was strapped to my chair. I know my parents never bothered to say good-bye. I know I didn’t cry as I was taken away.

I know the sky falls down every day.

The sun drops into the ocean and splashes browns and reds and yellows and oranges into the world outside my window. A million leaves from a hundred different branches dip in the wind, fluttering with the false promise of flight. The gust catches their withered wings only to force them downward, forgotten, left to be trampled by the soldiers stationed just below.

There aren’t as many trees as there were before, is what the scientists say. They say our world used to be green. Our clouds used to be white. Our sun was always the right kind of light. But I have very faint memories of that world. I don’t remember much from before. The only existence I know now is the one I was given. An echo of what used to be.

I press my palm to the small pane of glass and feel the cold clasp my hand in a familiar embrace. We are both alone, both existing as the absence of something else.

I grab my nearly useless pen with the very little ink I’ve learned to ration each day and stare at it. Change my mind. Abandon the effort it takes to write things down. Having a cellmate might be okay. Talking to a real human being might make things easier. I practice using my voice, shaping my lips around the familiar words unfamiliar to my mouth. I practice all day.

I’m surprised I remember how to speak.

I sit up on the cloth-covered springs I’m forced to sleep on. I wait. I rock back and forth and wait.

I wait too long and fall asleep.

My eyes open to 2 eyes 2 lips 2 ears 2 eyebrows.

I stifle my scream my urgency to run the crippling horror gripping my limbs.

You’re a b-b-b-b—

And you’re a girl. He cocks an eyebrow. He leans away from my face. He grins but he’s not smiling and I want to cry, my eyes desperate, terrified, darting toward the door I’d tried to open so many times I’d lost count. They locked me up with a boy. A boy.

Dear God.

They’re trying to kill me.

They’ve done it on purpose.

To torture me, to torment me, to keep me from sleeping through the night ever again. His arms are tatted up, half sleeves to his elbows. His eyebrow is missing a ring they must’ve confiscated. Dark blue eyes dark brown hair sharp jawline strong lean frame. Gorgeous Dangerous. Terrifying. Horrible.

He laughs and I fall off my bed and scuttle into the corner.

He sizes up the meager pillow on the spare bed they shoved into the empty space this morning, the skimpy mattress and threadbare blanket hardly big enough to support his upper half. He glances at my bed. Glances at his bed.

Shoves them both together with one hand. Uses his foot to push the two metal frames to his side of the room. Stretches out across the two mattresses, grabbing my pillow to fluff up under his neck. I’ve begun to shake.

I bite my lip and try to bury myself in the dark corner.

He’s stolen my bed my blanket my pillow.

I have nothing but the floor.

I will have nothing but the floor.

I will never fight back because I’m too petrified too paralyzed too paranoid.

So you’re—what? Insane? Is that why you’re here?

I’m not insane.

He props himself up enough to see my face. He laughs again. I’m not going to hurt you.

I want to believe him. I don’t believe him.

What’s your name? he asks.

None of your business. What’s your name?

I hear his irritated exhalation of breath. I hear him turn over on the bed that used to be half mine. I stay awake all night. My knees curled up to my chin, my arms wrapped tight around my small frame, my long brown hair the only curtain between us.

I will not sleep.

I cannot sleep.

I cannot hear those screams again.

Two

It smells like rain in the morning.

The room is heavy with the scent of wet stone, upturned soil; the air is dank and earthy. I take a deep breath and tiptoe to the window only to press my nose against the cool surface. Feel my breath fog up the glass. Close my eyes to the sound of a soft pitter-patter rushing through the wind. Raindrops are my only reminder that clouds have a heartbeat. That I have one, too.

I always wonder about raindrops.

I wonder about how they’re always falling down, forgetting their parachutes as they tumble out of the sky toward an uncertain end. It’s like someone is emptying their pockets over the earth and doesn’t seem to care where the contents fall, doesn’t seem to care that the raindrops burst when they hit the ground, that they shatter when they fall to the floor, that people curse the days the drops dare to tap on their doors.

I am a raindrop.

My parents emptied their pockets of me and left me to evaporate on a concrete slab.

The window tells me we’re not far from the mountains and definitely near the water, but everything is near the water these days. I just don’t know which side we’re on. Which direction we’re facing. I squint up at the early morning light. Someone picked up the sun and pinned it to the sky again, but every day it hangs a little lower than the day before. It’s like a negligent parent who only knows one half of who you are. It never sees how its absence changes people. How different we are in the dark.

A sudden rustle means my cellmate is awake.

I spin around like I’ve been caught stealing food again. That only happened once and my parents didn’t believe me when I said it wasn’t for me. I said I was just trying to save the stray cats living around the corner but they didn’t think I was human enough to care about a cat. Not me. Not something someone like me. But then, they never believed anything I said. That’s exactly why I’m here.

Cellmate is studying me.

He fell asleep fully clothed. He’s wearing a navy blue T-shirt and khaki cargo pants tucked into shin-high black boots.

I’m wearing dead cotton on my limbs and a blush of roses on my face.

His eyes scan my silhouette and the slow motion makes my heart race. I catch the rose petals as they fall from my cheeks, as they float around my body, as they cover me in something that feels like the absence of courage.

Stop looking at me, is what I want to say.

Stop touching me with your eyes and keep your hands to your sides and please and please and please—

What’s your name? The tilt of his head cracks gravity in half.

I’m suspended in the moment. I blink and bottle my breaths.

He reminds me of someone I used to know.

Why are you here? I ask the cracks in the concrete wall. 14 cracks in 4 walls. The floor, the ceiling: all the same slab of stone. The pathetically constructed bed frames: built from old water pipes. The small square of a window: too thick to shatter. My hope is exhausted. My eyes are unfocused and aching. My finger is tracing a lazy path across the cold floor.

I’m sitting on the ground where it smells like ice and metal and dirt. Cellmate sits across from me, his legs folded underneath him, his boots just a little too shiny for this place.

You’re afraid of me. His voice has no shape.

I’m afraid you’re wrong.

I might be lying, but that’s none of his business.

He snorts and the sound echoes in the dead air between us. I don’t lift my head. My throat is tight with something familiar to me, something I’ve learned to swallow.

2 knocks at the door startle my emotions back into place.

He’s upright in an instant.

No one is there, I tell him. It’s just our breakfast. 264 breakfasts and I still don’t know what it’s made of. It smells like too many chemicals; an amorphous lump always delivered in extremes. Sometimes too sweet, sometimes too salty, always disgusting. Most of the time I’m too starved to notice the difference.

He hesitates for only an instant before edging toward the door. He slides open a small slot and peers through to a world that no longer exists.

Shit! He practically flings the tray through the opening, pausing only to slap his palm against his shirt. "Shit, shit." He curls his fingers into a tight fist and clenches his jaw. He’s burned his hand. I would’ve warned him if he would’ve listened.

You should wait at least three minutes before touching the tray, I tell the wall. I don’t look at the scars gracing my small hands, at the burn marks no one could’ve taught me to avoid. I think they do it on purpose, I add quietly.

Oh, so you’re talking to me today? He’s angry. His eyes flash before he looks away and I realize he’s more embarrassed than anything else. He’s a tough guy. Too tough to make stupid mistakes in front of a girl. Too tough to show pain.

I press my lips together and stare out the small square of glass they call a window. There aren’t many animals left, but I’ve heard stories of birds that fly. Maybe one day I’ll get to see one. The stories are so wildly woven these days there’s very little to believe, but I’ve heard more than one person say they’ve actually seen a flying bird within the past few years. So I watch the window.

There will be a bird today. It will be white with streaks of gold like a crown atop its head. It will fly. There will be a bird today. It will be white with streaks of gold like a crown atop its head. It will fly. There will be a—

His hand.

On me.

2 tips

of 2 fingers graze my cloth-covered shoulder for less than a second and every muscle every tendon in my body is fraught with tension that clenches my spine. I don’t move. I don’t breathe. Maybe if I don’t move, this feeling will last forever.

No one has touched me in 264 days.

Sometimes I think the loneliness inside of me is going to explode through my skin and sometimes I’m not sure if crying or screaming or laughing through the hysteria will solve anything at all. Sometimes I’m so desperate to touch to be touched to feel that I’m almost certain I’m going to fall off a cliff in an alternate universe where no one will ever be able to find me.

It doesn’t seem impossible.

I’ve been screaming for years and no one has ever heard me.

Aren’t you hungry? His voice is lower now, a little worried now.

I’ve been starving for 264 days. No. I turn and I shouldn’t but I do and he’s staring at me. Studying me. His lips are only barely parted, his limbs limp at his side, his lashes blinking back confusion.

Something punches me in the stomach.

His eyes. Something about his eyes.

It’s not him not him not him not him not him.

I close the world away. Lock it up. Turn the key so tight.

Hey—

My eyes break open. 2 shattered windows filling my mouth with glass.

What is it?

Nothing.

I focus on the window between me and my freedom. I want to smash this concrete world into oblivion. I want to be bigger, better, stronger.

I want to be angry angry angry.

I want to be the bird that flies away.

What are you writing? Cellmate speaks again.

These words are vomit.

This shaky pen is my esophagus.

This sheet of paper is my porcelain bowl.

Why won’t you answer me? He’s too close too close too close.

No one is ever close enough.

My eyes are focused on the window and the promise of what could be. The promise of something grander, something greater, some reason for the madness building in my bones, some explanation for my inability to do anything without ruining everything. There will be a bird. It will be white with streaks of gold like a crown atop its head. It will fly. There will be a bird. It will be—

Hey—

You can’t touch me, I whisper. I’m lying, is what I don’t tell him. He can touch me, is what I’ll never tell him. Please touch me, is what I want to tell him.

But things happen when people touch me. Strange things. Bad things.

Dead things.

I can’t remember the warmth of any kind of embrace. My arms ache from the inescapable ice of isolation. My own mother couldn’t hold me in her arms. My father couldn’t warm my frozen hands. I live in a world of nothing.

Hello.

World.

You will forget me.

Knock knock.

Cellmate jumps to his feet.

It’s time to shower.

Three

The door opens to an abyss.

There’s no color, no light, no promise of anything but horror on the other side. No words. No direction. Just an open door that means the same thing every time.

Cellmate has questions.

What the hell? He looks from me to the illusion of escape. They’re letting us out?

They’ll never let us out. It’s time to shower.

Shower?

We don’t have much time, I tell him. We have to hurry.

Wait, what? He reaches for my arm but I pull away. But there’s no light—we can’t even see where we’re going—

Quickly. I focus my eyes on the floor. Take the hem of my shirt.

What are you talking about—

An alarm sounds in the distance. A buzzing hums closer by the second. Soon the entire cell is vibrating with the warning and the door is slipping back into place. I grab his shirt and pull him into the blackness beside me. Don’t. Say. Anything.

Bu—

"Nothing," I hiss. It’s a home, a center for troubled youth, for neglected children from broken families, a safe house for the psychologically disturbed. It’s a prison. They feed us nothing and our eyes never see each other except in the rare bursts of light that steal their way through cracks of glass they pretend are windows. Nights are punctured by screams and heaving sobs, wails and tortured cries, the sounds of flesh and bone breaking by force or choice I’ll never know. I spent the first 3 months in the company of my own stench. No one ever told me where the bathrooms and showers were located. No one ever told me how the system worked. No one speaks to you unless they’re delivering bad news. No one touches you ever at all. Boys and girls never find each other.

Never but yesterday.

It can’t be coincidence.

My eyes begin to readjust in the artificial night. My fingers feel their way down the rough corridors, and Cellmate doesn’t say a word. I’m almost proud of him. He’s nearly a foot taller than me, his body hard and solid with the muscle and strength of someone close to my age. The world has not yet broken him.

Wha—

I tug on his shirt to keep him from speaking. We’ve not yet cleared the corridors. I feel oddly protective of him, this person who could probably break me with 2 fingers. He doesn’t realize how his ignorance makes him vulnerable. He doesn’t realize that they might kill him for no reason at all.

I’ve decided not to be afraid of him. I’ve decided his actions are more immature than genuinely threatening. He looks so familiar so familiar so familiar to me. I once knew a boy with the same blue eyes and my memories won’t let me hate him.

Perhaps I’d like a friend.

6 more feet until the wall goes from rough to smooth and then we make a right. 2 feet of empty space before we reach a wooden door with a broken handle and a handful of splinters. 3 heartbeats to make certain we’re alone. 1 foot forward to edge the door inward. 1 soft creak and the crack widens to reveal nothing but what I imagine this space to look like. This way, I whisper.

I push him toward the row of showers and scavenge the floor for any bits of soap lodged in the drain. I find 2 pieces, one twice as big as the other. Open your hand, I tell the darkness. It’s slimy. But don’t drop it. There isn’t much soap and we got lucky today.

He says nothing for a few seconds and I begin to worry.

Are you still there? I wonder if this was the trap. If this was the plan. If perhaps he was sent to kill me under the cover of darkness in this small space. I never really knew what they were going to do to me in the asylum, I never knew if they thought locking me up would be good enough but I always thought they might kill me. It always seemed like a viable option.

I can’t say I wouldn’t deserve it.

But I’m in here for something I never meant to do and no one seems to care that it was an accident.

My parents never tried to help me.

I hear no showers running and my heart stops. This particular room is rarely full, but there are usually others, if only 1 or 2. I’ve come to realize that the asylum’s residents are either legitimately insane and can’t find their way to the showers, or they simply don’t care.

I swallow hard.

What’s your name? he says. I can feel him breathing much closer than he was before. My heart is racing and I don’t know why but I can’t control it. Why won’t you tell me your name?

Is your hand open?

He inches forward and I’m almost scared to breathe. His fingers graze the starchy fabric of the only outfit I’ll ever own and I manage to exhale. As long as he’s not touching my skin. As long as he’s not touching my skin. As long as he’s not touching my skin. This seems to be the secret.

My thin T-shirt has been washed in the harsh water of this building so many times it feels like a burlap sack against my skin. I drop the bigger piece of soap into his hand and tiptoe backward. I’m going to turn the shower on for you, I explain, anxious not to raise my voice lest others should hear me.

What do I do with my clothes? His body is still too close to mine.

I blink in the blackness. You have to take them off.

He laughs, amused. No, I know. I meant what do I do with them while I shower?

Try not to get them wet.

He takes a deep breath. How much time do we have?

Two minutes.

Jesus, why didn’t you say somethi—

I turn on his shower at the same time I turn on my own and his complaints drown under the broken bullets of the barely functioning spigots.

My movements are mechanical. I’ve done this so many times I’ve already memorized the most efficient methods of scrubbing, rinsing, and rationing soap for my body as well as my hair. There are no towels, so the trick is trying not to soak any part of your body with too much water. If you do you’ll never dry properly and you’ll spend the next week nearly dying of pneumonia. I would know.

In exactly 90 seconds I’ve wrung my hair and I’m slipping back into my tattered outfit. My tennis shoes are the only things I own that are still in fairly good condition. We don’t do much walking around here.

Cellmate follows suit almost immediately. I’m pleased he learns quickly.

Take the hem of my shirt, I instruct him. We have to hurry.

His fingers skim the small of my back and I have to bite my lip to stifle the intensity. No one ever puts their hands anywhere near my body.

When we’re finally trapped in the familiar 4 walls of claustrophobia, Cellmate won’t stop staring at me.

I curl into myself in the corner. He still has my bed, my blanket, my pillow. I forgive him his ignorance, but perhaps it’s too soon to be friends. Perhaps I was too hasty in helping him. Perhaps he really is only here to make me miserable. But if I don’t stay warm I will get sick. My hair is too wet and the blanket I usually wrap it in is still on his side of the room. Maybe I’m still afraid of him.

I breathe in too sharply, look up too quickly in the dull light of the day. Cellmate has draped 2 blankets over my shoulders.

1 mine.

1 his.

I’m sorry I’m such an asshole, he whispers to the wall. He doesn’t touch me and I’m disappointed happy he doesn’t. I wish he would. He shouldn’t. No one should ever touch me.

I’m Adam, he says slowly. He backs away from me until he’s cleared the room. He uses one hand to push my bed frame back to my side of the space.

Adam.

Such a nice name. Cellmate has a nice name.

It’s a name I’ve always liked but I can’t remember why.

I waste no time climbing onto the barely concealed springs of my mattress and I’m so exhausted I can hardly feel the metal coils threatening to puncture my skin. I haven’t slept in more than 24 hours. Adam is a nice name is the only thing I can think of before exhaustion cripples my body.

Four

I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane. I am not insane.

Horror rips my eyelids open.

My body is drenched in a cold sweat, my brain swimming in unforgotten waves of pain. My eyes settle on circles of black that dissolve in the darkness. I have no idea how long I’ve slept. I have no idea if I’ve scared my cellmate with my dreams. Sometimes I scream out loud.

Adam is staring at me.

I’m breathing hard and I manage to heave myself upright. I pull the blankets closer to my body only to realize I’ve stolen his only means for warmth. It never even occurred to me that he might be freezing as much as I am. I’m shivering in place but his body is unflinching in the night, his silhouette a strong form against the backdrop of black. I have no idea what to say. There’s nothing to say.

The screams never stop in this place, do they?

The screams are only the beginning. No, I whisper. A faint blush flushes my face and I’m happy it’s too dark for him to notice. He must have heard my cries.

Sometimes I wish I never had to sleep. Sometimes I think that if I stay very, very still, if I never move at all, things will change. I think if I freeze myself I can freeze the pain. Sometimes I won’t move for hours. I will not move an inch.

If time stands still nothing can go wrong.

Are you okay? His voice is concerned. I study the furrow buried in his brow, the tension in his jaw. This same person who stole my bed and my blanket is the same one who went without tonight. So cocky and careless so few hours ago; so careful and quiet right now. It scares me that this place could’ve broken him so quickly. I wonder what he heard while I was sleeping.

I wish I could save him from the horror.

Something shatters; a tortured cry sounds in the distance. These rooms are buried deep in concrete, walls thicker than the floors and ceilings combined to keep sounds from escaping too far. If I can hear the agony it must be insurmountable. Every night there are sounds I don’t hear. Every night I wonder if I’m next.

You’re not insane.

My eyes snap up. His head is cocked, his eyes focused and clear despite the shroud that envelops us. He takes a deep breath. I thought everyone in here was insane, he continues. I thought they’d locked me up with a psycho.

I take a sharp hit of oxygen. Funny. So did I.

1

2

3 seconds pass.

He cracks a grin so wide, so amused, so refreshingly sincere it’s like a clap of thunder through my body. Something pricks at my eyes. I haven’t seen a smile in 265 days.

Adam is on

Enjoying the preview?
Page 1 of 1