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    I Love the Smell of Fascism in the Morning: The Bush/Cheney Legacy and Satire From 2004
    I Love the Smell of Fascism in the Morning: The Bush/Cheney Legacy and Satire From 2004
    I Love the Smell of Fascism in the Morning: The Bush/Cheney Legacy and Satire From 2004
    Ebook146 pages1 hour

    I Love the Smell of Fascism in the Morning: The Bush/Cheney Legacy and Satire From 2004

    By Finn Contini

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    About this ebook

    If a reader wonders why he or she should purchase this book when the writing is from 2004, there is a good reason: This is a collection of satire seized from me by the FBI at the behest of the Bush White House that year.

    Why was I targeted? I write satire for those who can think for themselves, and in early 2004 I published a book ridiculing the Bush Administration, popular conservative politicians, and media pundits, and I hit a nerve because within days a federal investigation began into my life.

    On September 23, 2004, the FBI raided my home, and confiscated my computers and all political writing, including hard copies stored in filing cabinets. The government also took my website offline that I used to promote my book and which showcased my day-to-day satire of news events, and that website was down for five months. When it came back online, only two pieces of political satire remained and both had to do with me satirizing 2004 Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry. The message to me could not have been any clearer: If you won’t shut up, we will shut you up.

    This book contains my writing from 2004, in chronological order, which the United States government, at the behest of the Bush Administration, confiscated from my home and erased from my website. The majority of the satire is political in nature and will be deeply offensive to Republicans, conservatives and others who are biased, prejudiced and intolerant, but some of the satire takes the form of fake news stories that have been given my own wicked twist of humor.

    From a Republican U.S. Senator outing himself at a fundraiser, to Barbara Bush being diagnosed with Mad Cow disease, to the "wardrobe malfunction" of the Super Bowl halftime show, to the first 7-11 store opening in China and the first customer robbing it, to the President being injured while riding his tricycle on his ranch, to Cheney's expletive in the U.S. Senate chambers being the new Bush campaign slogan, to a bank robber using the "Rumsfeld defense" to be praised and set free, to Attorney General John Ashcroft getting a sex change, to the endless message of fear and terror from Bush officials, see what those in power in 2004 wished to prevent YOU from being able to read.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherFinn Contini
    Release dateSep 14, 2011
    ISBN9781466101692
    I Love the Smell of Fascism in the Morning: The Bush/Cheney Legacy and Satire From 2004
    Author

    Finn Contini

    An eccentric humorist. Really, just read my blog and you'll see the definition of irreverent humor.

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      Book preview

      I Love the Smell of Fascism in the Morning - Finn Contini

      INTRODUCTION

      This is a collection of satire seized from me by the Bush White House in 2004. I will clarify why the Bush Administration did that in a moment, but first I would like to answer a question very few people ask: What is satire?

      If one has ever watched The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, or The Colbert Report, then one has seen satire at its best. Dictionary.com defines satire as the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. Simply put, it’s making fun of others for the purpose of getting a laugh.

      Humor often involves offending someone. Whether an individual, an organization, a race, a gender, etc., being the butt of a joke is usually offensive to the receiving party.

      The problem with my form of satire is that it is largely political in nature, and, because it is directed toward conservatives, it is deeply offensive to Republicans and others who are biased, prejudiced and intolerant. The reason this became a problem for me is in late 2003, I had the courage to exercise my First Amendment rights and copyright a book that satirized the Bush Administration, certain conservative politicians, and right-wing television pundits at that time. The book was published in February 2004.

      The Bush Administration was not amused. Within days of copyrighting that book, the FBI began to investigate my background in an attempt to silence me, clearly at the behest of those who occupied the White House at that time. In March 2004, just a month after publishing, I was given a full audit by the IRS, in which it was discovered I had overpaid my taxes. Big-name celebrities can publish satire that ridicules the conservative political establishment and suffer nothing more than public scorn by right-wing media, but during the Bush Administration years, the small, independent author risked his freedom with such actions.

      On September 23, 2004, the FBI raided my home, and confiscated my computers and all political writing, including hard copies stored in filing cabinets. The government also took my website offline that I used to promote my book and which showcased my day-to-day satire of news events, and that website was down for five months. When it came back online, only two pieces of political satire remained and both had to do with me satirizing 2004 Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry. The message to me could not have been any clearer: If you won’t shut up, we will shut you up.

      Let me emphasize that point again: All political satire having to do with the Bush Administration or conservatives in general had been erased from my website. From there, my problems with the government became worse, including a manufactured prosecution that actually sent me to prison, but you’re reading this book for a laugh, not to be scared shitless by the culture of corruption of unchecked political and corporate power that will do whatever it takes to silence dissent.

      My remarkable true story, along with evidence illegally suppressed from the court and media proving my persistent claims of innocence, are in the book Microsoft Exposed: An Insider’s Story of Lies, Secrets and Collusion Within Microsoft. The website for that book is http://MicrosoftExposed.com. It is my hope the book will be published in late 2012 or early 2013.

      To this day, the government refuses to discuss the return of my written intellectual property or the material it removed from my website. The government claims the FBI just happened to begin investigating me at the same time I copyrighted a book ridiculing the Bush Administration. Yeah, right – I’m sure that’s the way it happened. But if that’s the case, why not return my writing? And why shut down my website for five months and remove the conservative and Bush-related political content from it? The FBI and the United States Department of Justice will not answer those simple questions.

      In late 2010, a friend contacted me and asked if I wanted my writing back. At first I had no idea what she was talking about, and then I remembered that about a week before my home was raided I had sent her copies of all the satire I had posted on my website for critical review, including my other satirical writing at the time.

      Most of the satire is political in nature, but some of my humor takes the form of news stories that have been given a wicked or unusual twist. At some point each person reading this book will be offended – I do not apologize for offending anyone. As I explained earlier, humor offends. But this writing also affords my readers an insight into how my mind operates. I believe followers of my writing will appreciate its uniqueness, whereas my critics may ponder why I have been allowed out of my straitjacket.

      This book contains my writing from 2004, in chronological order, which the United States government, at the behest of the Bush Administration, confiscated from my home and erased from my website. Because the writing is several years old, I have decided to practically give it away. It was once available on my website for anyone to read, so why charge full price for it now? That would be almost as ridiculous as having taxpayers bail out banks for idiotic and risky investment schemes, and then have to pay interest rates from those same banks on loans and credit cards at rates approaching extortion levels. Everyone knows our country does not work that way, nor would our politicians allow such collusion, and I am not going to start a trend that would be so destructive to our fragile national economy.

      BUSH WINS NEW HAMPSHIRE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY

      JANUARY 28, 2004 – NEW HAMPSHIRE

      In a truly stunning turn of events, a recount of votes cast in yesterday’s Democratic primary in New Hampshire revealed that President George W. Bush won by a landslide. Bush captured a whopping 54% of votes, while second place finisher and supposed frontrunner John Kerry finished with a distant 16%.

      Howard Dean and Retired General Wesley Clark rounded out the top four, finishing with 14% and 11%, respectively. Incredibly, Joseph Lieberman finished with -3% while the other candidates scored in the low single digits.

      The results were tallied using the government’s new high-tech Diebold and ES&S electronic voting machines, which the Bush White House plans to use in all states for the general election in November.

      The most amazing part about these results is that Bush wasn’t even on the ballot. But the White House had an explanation for this apparent anomaly.

      It’s the will of the American people, said an anonymous high-level White House source, whose first name has many different slang words for penis and whose last name rhymes with gamy. The American people realize that George Bush is our exalted leader who crushed Saddam Hussein’s dangerous al-Qaida empire. Bearing in mind that Saddam was also responsible for 9/11, he will never terrorize the American public again. So while the voters may have been casting votes for Kerry or Dean, it was their subconscious mind that voted for Bush and the machines picked up their patriotic vibrations and cast their vote, correctly I might add, for Bush.

      Others weren’t so sure.

      If this isn’t voter tampering, then I don’t know what is, replied an indignant Howard Dean, who then let

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