At All Adventure: An Alternative Gospel

Part I: The Ruin of Delight

"Now having made ready our shipping, the Delight and the Golden Hind, and put aboard our provision, which was wines, bread or rusk, fish wet and dry, sweet oils: besides marmalades, figs, lemons barreled, and suchlike. The evening was fair and pleasant, yet not without token of storm to come, and most part of this night, like the swan that singeth before her death, they in the Delight continued their sounding of trumpets, with drums and fifes; also winding the cornets.

"The next day the wind arose, and blew vehemently at south and by east, bringing withal rain. Immediately tokens were given unto the Delight, to cast about to seaward, which, being the greater ship, was yet foremost upon the breach, keeping so ill watch, that they knew not the danger, before they felt the same: presently struck aground, and soon after her stern and hinder parts beaten in pieces: whereupon we cast about even for our lives into the wind’s eye, the sea going mightily and high.

In this distress, we desired to save the men by every possible means. But all in vain, sith God had determined their ruin.

– Hakluyt

Chapter 1-1: What fellow is this, which speaketh blasphemy?

–Luke 5:21

"John ‘The Baptizer’ – there was a man! You know, he wasn’t the first baptizer, or the only one. But he’s the one we all remember; so we just called him ‘The Baptizer’; everyone knew which one we meant.

"We went down to the creek with this man, stripped and strode, singing, into the water, to wash our sins away.

When we returned to the village the townies looked at us just the same, expected just what they always had from us. But we knew better; now we were new.

~~~~~~~~~

They were splashing in the river with new life: John, arms bare in the sunlight, wet from pushing all the others under not very long, a tinge of fear from coming under then back again laughing, splashing. When each was under out of hearing John would say the magic words, and sin was washed away.

John did this every day, for he was The Baptizer, and that was what he did. And he also taught, saying that one would come and John would not tie the man’s shoelaces, for John was not equal even to that; he would not be a slave to the man to come, for no one was worthy of being even his slave.

Many people followed John and called him a prophet, perhaps the last of all prophets. Jesus followed him, too. Jesus believed when John said, Repent! but knew that there was more to life than that.

John had heard of Jesus, that he healed and drove out devils, that he was a Sabbath-scoffer and wine-bibber and ate with whores and freaks. So John knew that Jesus had a gift, but John knew that Jesus had a long way to go, and perhaps Repent! was just right for him now.

Then one day Jesus came down to the water and said, to John, Baptize me.

John said, Of all the people of all the tribes you are the last one I expected to see here today. But all right, whatever. I will do it. And he took Jesus into the water and pushed him under.

But just then, as John was about to say the magic words, a mighty voice came out of Heaven, rattling the hills and saying, I claim this one for my Self!

John lifted Jesus from the water; Jesus assumed that he had been given the usual blessing.

~~~~~~~~~

What’s your sign?

Sign?

You know, Aries, Pisces – the new age thing.

Oh, yes. Well, I’m not sure I have a sign.

~~~~~~~~~

Where are you from originally?

Nazareth. – That’s in Galilee.

Oh.

Not a very big place – I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of it.

What’s it near?

~~~~~~~~~

Three times Satan tempted Jesus. The first time, they were walking side by side over sharp rocks in the dry scab-land east of Hebron.

Surely you are Messiah. Satan said, stopping and turning to Jesus. Surely you have Powers. How can you doubt? You must have heard the prophecies, genealogies, stories of your birth. Remember what The Baptizer said of you?

He said, ‘tie your own shoelaces’ as I recall.

Because he wasn’t worthy of doing it for you!

So you say.

How can I convince you? Use the Powers I know you have! If you are Messiah, turn these stones to bread. Satan gestured broadly. East of Hebron there were many stones, and no bread.

But Jesus replied It is said, ‘Man cannot live by bread alone’.

I see you quote Scripture to your purpose, said Satan, but it is also said, ‘Will a man ask for bread, and get a stone?’

There’s a quotation for everything, isn’t there? Which stones shall I turn to bread? said Jesus to Satan with contempt. These? He pointed to his right. Or these? He pointed to his left.

Satan was about to give a short answer when he saw that all the stones where Jesus had pointed had become bread loaves, shining brown and steaming.

Jesus looked at the bread, and then at Satan. There was nothing for him to say.

And now, Satan said, shall we have the next temptation?

~~~~~~~~~

Satan and Jesus came to the Temple in Jerusalem, and climbed its highest tower. Satan pointed down below at the comings and goings. In the distance, the city lay in its walls, their gates of jeweled stone. People gathered, at first by ones and twos, to see the contest.

Jump! Jump! said Satan. Angels will bear you up! The crowd below echoed Jump! Jump!

Jesus said, ‘Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God!’

Satan said, Just as you said, Jesus, there’s a quotation for everything. But after all the words have hit against the stones and died away, here you are and there are the stones of the court. Are we supposed to chat a while and nod our heads and then just wander off somewhere and have a drink? Jump!

Jesus thought. Then he gathered his robes around him and jumped. The crowd roared its approval. Satan waited for the angels he knew would appear. Jesus neared the ground, robes flying like wings. The crowd pulled back to make a place for him to land.

Then two angels bore him up.

Satan was pleased with his bit of prophecy, his ability to tempt God. The crowd went away disappointed.

~~~~~~~~~

Satan showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time: palaces and thrones, banners, armies marching toward each other, their proud trumpets smashing air, temples rich with altars of gold and gates of bronze, people dropping pennies of offering, one penny, another, a flood in the arms of idols, priests counting coins or weighing the mass, too many to count.

Then Satan showed Jesus broken monuments, ruined temples, torn flags, bodies of men and women rotting in burnt-up fields; the overthrow of gods and kings.

All this I can give you said Satan. Worship me, and it will all be yours!

Jesus looked at Satan with a kind of pity. I do not need to worship you, Satan. All of it is mine, already. Begone!

~~~~~~~~~

Can any good thing come out of Nazareth?

He said, I am from Nazareth.

And they said, Oh. For Nazareth was known, even for such a small place it was known while larger towns were not: for in the Festival of every year the Nazarenes had the custom of sending out one man to towns around about enticing men to follow him, calling We will fish men, pull them out, net them, leave them gasping unfamiliar air –.

~~~~~~~~~

Two times, he said, "two men, one at a time. The first begged me quietly along the road and I fixed him in the eye, straight and square, meaning to shame him for his begging. But I saw deep in his eyes a coaly flame, with so much pain that I shook to my sandals. I may not remember today, nor how a hot stone shimmers air, but I will remember those coals of eyes until I am charred and burnt.

The second time, he said, "was like the first: another beggar, but this one looking sly and young and fed, demanding cash. Again I squared away and stared. The eyes this time were veiled, and he looked back at me in hate and simply said, ‘You ass-hole’. I may not remember today, or how a tree-branch plays the wind and gives it sound, but I will remember that voice until the thud of my tomb-stone quiets my death.

And these were the twice that I saw God he said.

~~~~~~~~~

They said he did miracles: aroused the dead and made them walk and talk again, and healed the lame – but the first miracle was making wine, at least the first we know about. How long he had practiced magic before the wine incident, I do not know. Little magics, perhaps, in secret: changes in the air, here a little warmer, thicker; changes in the water, a reddish tint, perhaps. But then the wedding. A showy miracle, an embarrassment, a young man’s trick, an airing of fledge. The Pharisees know all about it; they call it the wedding event. They study it in seminary.

A man was there, one Mordechai, an uncle of the bride, an old and crippled man. After his niece was married off, after all the other guests were gone, he found some wine in the bottom of an old stone water-jar and had a taste. Good, he thought, very good. A very good wine.

~~~~~~~~~

He woke in a narrow bed in someone else’s house. As always, the diary was on the floor beside him. He picked it up and turned to the next page. He read what he would have to do that day.

~~~~~~~~~

I’m a jealous one, he said. Always have been. Always will be. But you, you’re not that way. I knew it all along. May be it’s better that way. Too late for me, though. It’s your turn, now, Son. Go ahead. I’m proud of you.

Jesus woke from his dream.

~~~~~~~~~

Many believed; but Jesus did not trust himself with them, because he knew man and woman, and knew what they were: connivers against themselves, delighters in darkness, haters of light. Jesus did not have to be taught about them, for part of him was man. One by one his Powers came to him by night.

Chapter 1-2: Why should it be thought a thing incredible unto you, that GOD should raise again the dead?

–Acts 26:8

John The Baptizer was arrested and put to death by the government, a fate that would also befall Jesus. After John was gone, Jesus struck out on his own as a traveling prophet, healing and holding tent-revivals one place, then another. At least once he returned to Nazareth as the famous evangelist come home to preach, to fill the tents.

~~~~~~~~~

You must be born again he said.

Nicodemus the Pharisee took it literally. How can a man enter again into his mother’s womb?

Jesus thought: Yes, that is a possible interpretation, but that’s not what I meant.

Born, he said, is coming to life as if you had no life before; starting again at light and shade, cold and heat, these only. No preconceptions about the world. No way to say ‘Oh I know that already.’

Nicodemus looked at Jesus. Then he said, How can a man be born when he is old, except to die?

Jesus thought again: Yes, that just might work.

~~~~~~~~~

The Samaritan woman said to him, "Our fathers worshipped on these high hills, slew sheep and doves on altars of stone. The tops of hills were night-flame lights to our people. Then your people, Jesus, came here and said, ‘No more, not any more at all shall you worship on the high hills, but only in Jerusalem’s Temple. And worship shall be done by priests for the people, no more by the people themselves.’ You tore down our altars and scattered their ashes, so now the hills are dark, the habit of jackals, and the people despair.

Draw your own water she said. From your own well.

~~~~~~~~~

Jesus came back to the miracle-place. Last time, a wedding; this time, death. Word spread through dry towns and brown hills: The miracle man is back! All who needed Jesus’ touch came alive with hope. In the brown hills and dry towns they stirred, moved toward the place.

Hezechios was one of those who stirred. He was a noble, a Greek. Not Jewish, not at all, so Jewish to the bone that it was so natural to be a Jew that any slight difference made all the difference. To himself, Hezechios was a Greek, a noble. He spoke Aramaic with an occasional Greek accent.

Hezechios’ son was dying in Capernaum, two days’ ride away. Hezechios covered the distance in a day and a half. He found Jesus and said, Come to Capernaum and heal my son!

(Jesus could heal. He discovered it one day without surprise or awe. He touched and prayed, he healed. He touched only, he healed. He prayed only, he healed. After a time he did not heal, but the healing happened anyway. The dying stayed, the dead returned, the hoped-for children that never were, were, with their families that never were, all pummeled into existence, words spoken or unspoken, touching or not touching, springing up around him.)

The noble came to Jesus. He said, Lord, come with me to Capernaum and heal my son: he’s dying!

Jesus knew already that the son had died, the son stirred, the son opened his dead eyes and lifted his cold head. You will not believe without signs and wonders, he sighed.

Hezechios looked surprised, and said, I know not of belief, I only live; but I know my son will die without your help.