Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Downton Tabby
    Downton Tabby
    Downton Tabby
    Ebook93 pages24 minutes

    Downton Tabby

    By Chris Kelly

    3.5/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    A parody of the beloved worldwide television phenomenon Downton Abbey—with cats.

    Welcome to Downton Tabby

    Here, the aristocrats of the animal kingdom dwell in stately splendor, sleeping, grooming, sleeping some more, and being fed by their downstairs cats, unaware that their way of life—providing work for others—is about to be swept away by the tides of history...and runaway cars.

    The fur will fly.

    This humorous parody provides essential information for preserving their Golden Age, including How to Keep a Secret at Downton Tabby, How to Argue with Lord Grimalkin About His Most Deeply Held Beliefs, and some Uninvited but Necessary Words from the Dowager.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster
    Release dateDec 3, 2013
    ISBN9781476765945
    Downton Tabby
    Author

    Chris Kelly

    Chris Kelly writes for HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher. He won an Emmy for his work on Michael Moore's TV Nation. He's been an editor at Spy and the National Lampoon, a staff writer for the Late Show with David Letterman, head writer at Politically Incorrect, and a writer/producer on a half dozen network situation comedies, some long-running and some that barely aired at all.

    Read more from Chris Kelly

    Related to Downton Tabby

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      ‘Too Much’: Featured Nonfiction from Rachel Vorona Cote

      Feb 25, 2020

      In Too Much: How Victorian Constraints Still Bind Women Today, Cote examines how the "unspoken rules" that govern the expression of women’s emotional and physical desires date back to the 19th century. The post ‘Too Much’: Featured Nonfiction from Ra

      6 min read

    • Article

      Summer With God

      May 27, 2022

      Summer With God
      2 min read

    • Article

      Did You Know?

      Sep 1, 2021

      Did You Know?
      1 min read

    • Article

      The Modest Man

      Oct 17, 2019

      The Modest Man
      5 min read

    • Article

      Darker Side Of Peter Rabbit

      Apr 13, 2024

      Darker Side Of Peter Rabbit
      4 min read

    • Article

      For The Love Of Panto

      Dec 17, 2021

      For The Love Of Panto
      7 min read

    • Article

      Lamport Hall

      Mar 7, 2024

      Lamport Hall
      6 min read

    • Article

      Hog In The Limelight

      Dec 17, 2020

      Hog In The Limelight
      3 min read

    • Article

      This Weekend

      Mar 16, 2020

      If you’re looking for that beautiful, conversation-worthy piece for your home, then move aside malls, and hello markets. Kamers is back for another autumn showcase, with over 180 ‘makers’ offering you their best wares. Kamers is arguably one of the b

      4 min read

    • Article

      Letter Bocks

      Nov 18, 2021

      letters@viz.co.uk ON A RECENT visit to Denmark I saw this remarkable poster inside a bus. Needless to say, I put my foot through the bus window and was hospitalised for a considerable amount of time. However, I was perfectly fine and I didn’t even ha

      13 min read

    • Article

      Bookshelf

      Mar 2, 2020

      There are simply some books that you inadvertently read out loud to whoever is closest—cat or human. I found myself having a giant laugh and then being unable to resist sharing long passages of Carla Funk’s memoir. Though I worried that the religious

      5 min read

    • Article

      Summer Holiday Reading

      Dec 31, 2021

      by Alex von Tunzelmann (Headline, R355) If you are famous, please advise your supporters not to erect a statue of you when you are gone. It would be much better to have your profile on a postage stamp; the worst that people can do is stick it on the

      4 min read

    • Article

      Good Books Make Good Fuel

      Sep 21, 2022

      Is it time to burn my books? My wife has already told me she is getting rid of the lot the moment I go. So, given the cost-of-living crisis and the rocketing price of fuel, is this the year for me to clear the grate and set a match to all my treasure

      3 min read

    • Article

      August Fiction

      Jul 18, 2023

      Normal Rules Don’t Apply by Kate Atkinson (Doubleday, £18.99) WITH SOME WRITERS there might be quite a contrast between a new slim volume of short stories and an earlier, highly twisty 500-page novel. In Kate Atkinson’s case, though, Normal Rules Don

      2 min read

    • Article

      Book Club

      Jan 4, 2024

      Book Club
      5 min read

    • Article

      Roger’s PROFANISAURUS

      Oct 12, 2023

      Roger’s PROFANISAURUS
      7 min read

    • Article

      To Catch A Woozle

      Apr 1, 2020

      To Catch A Woozle
      5 min read

    • Article

      Letters To The Editor

      Jan 8, 2020

      MY 100% whiff-free cooking method for kippers (‘Holy smoke!’, November 27) doesn’t require an oven, a grill or even a hob—it’s a variation on the Victorian Lowestoft manner. All you need is a pot or pan (a terrine is perfect), in which the folded fis

      2 min read

    • Article

      Letters To The Editor

      Mar 13, 2024

      Letters To The Editor
      3 min read

    • Article

      Why We Love Period Dramas

      May 6, 2021

      Why We Love Period Dramas
      2 min read

    • Article

      Book Club

      Apr 23, 2020

      Book Club
      5 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Downton Tabby

    3.5/5

    31 ratings4 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 3/5
      Not sure this really merited killing trees to publish, but I can see how it would be fairly amusing for Downton Abbey fans, cat people, but especially cat people who are also Downton Abbey fans. Funniest line: In a newspaper graphic of the sinking of the "Mewsitania," the headline reads "1,195 Cats Lose 10,755 Lives." HA!
    • 5/5
      Your favorite Downton Abbey characters are here, but in feline form. Mrs. Catmore, the cook, has trouble seeing, and gives Laisy, her helper, the wrong ingredients. Matthmew, the heir apparent, can drive a car, but not well. Catson, the butler, does his best to keep everyone in line downstairs even while Vibrissa Clowder, the Dowager Catness of Grimalkin, regales everyone upstairs with her pearls of wisdom. This little tome is packed with pleasure and sheer delight, with amusing illustrations and witty writing. Feline fanciers and Downton Abbey fans will especially enjoy it.
    • 4/5
      This was seriously a fun read. Very cute especially if you're a Downton Abbey fan (which I am.) I'm not really a cat person (I have nothing against them, they're cute - I'm just very allergic to most of them) but I still enjoyed this.
    • 1/5
      Not very funny. Graphic work amateurish . Very slight connection to the series.

      1 person found this helpful

    Book preview

    Downton Tabby - Chris Kelly

    For

    THE ENGLISH CATS

    (are the best in Europe)

    A CAT MAY LOOK ON A KING.

    —John Heywood (c. 1497–c. 1580), as quoted by a kitchen maid in some TV show

    Table Setting

    Foreword

    DOWNTON TABBY. THE STATELY YORKSHIRE home of the Earl and Catness of Grimalkin, their three kittens—the pretty one, the prettier one, and the other one—their kittens’ kittens, their servants, and, of course, the Dowager Catness, Vibrissa.

    Their evil footcat; their handsome chau-fur; the blind cook; the dopey maid; and Boots, the saintly, longsuffering valet who keeps getting framed for gnawing on things. I mean, over and over.

    Their lives, loves, births, deaths, marriages, affairs, prides, prejudices, senses, sensibilities, mills, flosses, cakes, ales, high teas and funfairs, car accidents, scandals, bouts of Spanish influenza, and war with Germany.

    Their blithe spirits, private lives, and easy virtues . . . the whole kitten caboodle.

    Edward VII between feedings

    Introduction

    ENGLAND UNDER EDWARD VII. A time of romance and leisure, grace and elegance. The cats of this enchanted era never imagined that it could all come to an end. How could they? They were cats.

    Here in this pretty world, gallantry took its last bow . . .

    Here was the last ever to be seen of knights and their

    Enjoying the preview?
    Page 1 of 1