Academic Jokes
By S. M. Mathur
()
About this ebook
The Sayings Due to its popularity in almost all societies are heard and said and inspiring stories relating to children, the elderly, from the rich entertainment offer is only good values as well as the increases are too.
Read more from S. M. Mathur
Academic Jokes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAcademic Jokes: Laughter is the best medicine Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Academic Jokes
Related ebooks
Off We Go! To Kolkata, to Kolkata Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKnowledge BLASTER! Guide to Literature Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHindu Stories About Monkeys, Donkeys And Elephants Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMan in the Universe: Some Continuities in Indian Thought Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsObservations Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Celestial Hunt Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWho Is More Intelligent, Male Or Female? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSubaltern Narratives in Fiji Hindi Literature Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSex,Scotch and Scholarship Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Postcoloniality and Indian English Poetry: A Study of the Poems of Nissim Ezekiel, Kamala Das, Jayanta Mahapatra and A.K.Ramanujan Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAn Elusive Target Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Last Letter Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Village in the South of China: Third Volume of Collected Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTrue Heaven Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBedtime Stories for Adults: Short Stories for Everyday Meditation to Overcome Anxiety, Stress & Insomnia Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Islam in Liberalism Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Philosophy of Rabindranath Tagore Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGreat Scientists of the World : Jagdish Chandra Bose Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOut of The Closet Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOutsiders and Insiders: Ruth Prawer Jhabvala and Indian Writing in English Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsVintage Tales: Eurasian Short Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHungry Ghosts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Collection of Fables and Jokes and History: Facts and Words That Hurt Your Soul Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMystery of Freedom Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJapanese folk tales from the Edo period Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMagical Riddles Book One Shaking Palace Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsResist Psychic Death: 250 Anecdotes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMen Mammals and Morals Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOur Mind Is a Tape Recorder.: SHORT STORY #6. Nonfiction series #1 - #60. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Humor & Satire For You
A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Swamp Story: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Don't Panic: Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Farrell Covington and the Limits of Style: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Yes Please Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Go the F**k to Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Favorite Half-Night Stand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for Academic Jokes
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Academic Jokes - S. M. Mathur
X Medigogy
I
Academiscope
The Governor is the ex-officio Chancellor of the state universities. Many a time he is a politician with hardly any academic pretensions, but some try to show off. One such worthy Governor went for inspection to a university. As he entered the library, he saw before him a rack on which the latest arrivals were displayed—among which was a new edition of Shakespeare. I am glad,
remarked His Excellency, that you have the latest works of Shakespeare. He is a great writer. I myself have enjoyed reading many of his novels. By the way, can you give me a list of his latest works?
This anecdote was told at a function by Professor Hashim Ali, when he was the Vice-Chancellor of the Aligarh Muslim University.
Two men died and presented themselves before the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter asked the first, What were you doing when you were alive?
I was the Vice-Chancellor of an Indian university,
said he.
You have already suffered the torture of hell on earth and certainly deserve a place in Paradise.
The next person was asked the same question. I was the Vice-Chancellor of an Indian university for three consecutive terms.
he replied.
Put him in Hell,
ordered St. Peter. He’s got into the habit.
This brought the house down.
A politically-appointed Vice-Chancellor used to give himself a lot of airs. When a new edition of Who’s Who came to the library, he was sure to find his name in it but it wasn’t there.
"He should be in Who’s He?" remarked a wag in the library.
Another Vice-Chancellor (V.C.) had the habit of saying, Yes, you are right
to everyone, quite often contradicting himself. Not surprisingly, this caused utter confusion. One evening a group of students came demanding for the cancellation of a cricket match. He said: You are right,
and ordered cancellation. Moments later, when the cricket captain came to know about this, he rushed to the V.C. and protested: This cannot be done as the other team has already reached here.
Predictably, the V.C. said: You are right.
The wife, who was a witness to this going-on, remarked in disgust: You say,
You are right, to everyone."
You are right, my dear,
out came the pet reply and the wife left the place with utter disgust.
The post of Vice-Chancellor in a Bihar University was lying vacant for a long time as no one was prepared to risk his life. They required a strong man capable of taking on the rowdy students. So, it was seriously considered to invite some famous boxer to take on the job.
The Vice-Chancellors of several universities in North India have to face the onslaught of union and netas, particularly belonging to the ruling party in the state, and so have to think ways of protecting themselves. It is rumoured that a V.C. of a university in Bihar is contemplating to cover himself up in a suit of steel armour.
The participants at a seminar were thoroughly tired after three days of verbal outpourings by distended, self-important academics. At the valedictory function, the convener, himself, thoroughly exhausted, invited the chief guest. I now request our revered Vice-Chancellor to give his address.
Vice-Chancellor’s Lodge, The University Campus,
said the chief guest and sat down amidst thunderous applause.
In the early fifties of the last century, very few Indians could be seen on English streets, and a South Indian with his turban and all was indeed a rarity. One day, Professor Murthy, visiting the Eastern Philosophy Department at Oxford, was followed by a rowdy bunch of street urchins. He tolerated them for a while, but tired of their unwelcome attention, he turned around and shouted, What do you want?
Coo,
said one. It speaks too.
It had been snowing in Quebec for hours when an announcement came on the intercom: Will the students who have parked on the college drive, please move their cars so that we may start clearing the snow.
Fifteen minutes later came another announcement: Will the five hundred students who want to move the fifteen cars parked on the college drive return to their classes.
A moral science teacher was bemoaning the spread of promiscuity and AIDS.
At the end of the class, she asked, Is there a virgin in this classroom? If there is, let her stand up.
Nobody stood up for a while, and when she was about to