The Bro Code
3.5/5
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About this ebook
Everyone’s life is governed by an internal code of conduct. Some call it morality. Others call it religion. But Bros in the know call this Holy Grail The Bro Code.
The Bro Code is a living document, much like the Constitution. Except instead of outlining a government, or the Bill of Rights, or anything even resembling laws, The Bro Code provides men with all the rules they need to know in order to become a “bro” and behave properly among other bros. Historically a spoken tradition passed from one generation to the next and dating back to the American Revolution, the official code of conduct for Bros appears here in its published form for the first time ever. By upholding the tenets of this sacred and legendary document, any dude can learn to achieve Bro-dom.
Containing approximately 150 “unspoken” rules, this code of conduct for bros can range from the simple (bros before hos) to the complex (the hot-to-crazy ratio, complete with bar graphs and charts). With helpful sidebros The Bro Code will help any ordinary guy become the best bro he can be. Let ultimate bro and coauthor Barney Stinson and his book, The Bro Code share their wisdom, lest you be caught making eye contact in a devil’s three-way (two dudes, duh).
Barney Stinson
Barney Stinson is awesome. He works for a powerful bank in New York City but somehow finds time to “suit up” and help the less fortunate, in particular his lovelorn and all together pathetic bro Ted Mosby—seriously, that dude’s got probs. When Barney’s not staging private bikini calendar shoots, test-driving tanks, or elbow-deep in another legendary activity, like riding a tiger bareback or blowing up a guitar, he can be seen on the hit CBS show How I Met Your Mother with his friends Ted, Robin, Lily, and Marshall.
Read more from Barney Stinson
The Playbook Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Bro on the Go Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
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Reviews for The Bro Code
35 ratings12 reviews
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5This book is funny for exactly as long as you can hear Barney Stinson's voice in your head reading along with you. For me, the limit was about ten pages at a time. Once Neil Patrick Harris stops lending his humor and charm to the word, you realize how awful the content really is. I wouldn't be surprised if Tucker Max was the ghostwriter, except most of it is simultaneously more offensive and less creative than Max's usual misogynistic crap out there. So I'd put the book down in disgust... But then twelve hours later, Barney's voice would return and I'd chuckle at the next ten pages. Oh, that Barney! Tee hee.
But there is absolutely no excuse for the fact that Broccasion (Bro Occasion, because it's The Bro Code and so it's clever) is twice spelled Brocassion. Ugh. Except apparently a Bro never spellchecks, so maybe the misspellings were just an unintentional illustration if The Code in action. In which case, still ugh. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Funny but pretty predictable, it's kind of a fun read for fans of "How I Met Your Mother." I listened to the audiobook, and one of the best things about it was Neil Patrick Harris's narration. Basically, it's humor disguised as advice for men who subscribe to the idea of "bros before hos."
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tony and I listened to this yesterday since we are such huge fans of the show. It was entertaining enough, though it got a little old in some places and some "articles" were far less amusing than others. Overall, though, I found it funny. Neil Patrick Harris reading was key. It was amusing to see how many articles Tony had broken.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I'm being generous with 3 stars, it's a 6 out of 10. Now don't get me wrong it IS very funny and very entertaining, and essential in every bro's repertoire. But, I must say, many articles need some work, and there are some things that are just wrong. Like getting Barney in a 1-10 rating scale in one of the articles, even as 10, that is unacceptable, the rating scale should have been 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Barney. There's also the exclusion of many bro's and the lack of internationality of the tome. It just doesn't get as awesome as Barney would have it. In the absence of a better bro code, this is the one. The good part is, it's got an amendment section at the end where you can write your own amendment, alas, there's space for only one.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Bro Code is a funny book. A quick read and especially fun while reading it aloud to a group of friends. I prefer it over Barney Stinson oher book; The Playbook. I actually gave it to a friend of mine as a birthday present and he got a kick out of it!
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Picked this up as I like the TV show 'How I Met Your Mother' and find the Barney Stinson character to be quite funny in the over the top egotistical & narcissistic way.
Whilst some parts of the book are genuinely funny the majority is really just Barney Stinson statements from the show reformatted into a 'code' of sorts.
If you haven't seen much of the show you will probably enjoy the book and have quite a few laughs, if you have seen most of the show you probably won't get much out of the book.
It's not bad, but at the same time it doesn't bring much to the table either. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Brotastic! Loved all of it... Highly recommend.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5made me laugh out loud following by periods of non-laughter that went on too long
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Exploitative tie-in publication. More a rehash/collection of bits from the show as opposed to original material. If TV related reading is your craving, "How To Archer" is far superior.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I was a bit bored with this. I expected it to be funnier.
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5It's what could be a funny aside joke stretched to a book (booklet, pamphlet?) and bled absolutely dry. Repetitive and not very imaginative - nothing will surprise you.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I like this book it is great
Book preview
The Bro Code - Barney Stinson
INTRODUCTION
Whether we know it or not, each of us lives a life governed by an internalized code of conduct. Some call it morality. Others call it religion. I call it the Bro Code.
For centuries men have attempted to follow this code with no universal understanding of what such an arrangement meant: Is it okay to hug a Bro?* If I’m invited to a Bro’s wedding, do I really have to bring a gift?† Can I sleep with a Bro’s sister or mother or both?‡
Now, for the first time on paper, I have recorded the rules of social decorum that Bros have practiced since the dawn of man … if not before. The Bro Code previously existed only as an oral tradition (heh), so I have journeyed the globe to piece together and transcribe the scattered fragments of the Bro Code, pausing only to flesh it out myself (double heh). While not intending to write a Guide to Being a Bro,
if men should treat it as such and pass this compendium of knowledge from one generation to the next, I have little doubt it would bring a tear to my eye. But not out of it. That would be a violation of Article 41: A Bro never cries.
It is my hope that, with a better understanding of the Bro Code, Bros the world over can put aside their differences and strengthen the bonds of brotherhood. It is then, and only then, that we might work together as one to accomplish perhaps the most important challenge society faces—getting laid. Before dismissing this pursuit as crass and ignoble, consider this postulate: without the sport inherent in trying to bang chicks, would men willingly have sex for the sole purpose of producing smelly, screaming babies?*
Centuries from now, when a Bro applies the rudiments of the Bro Code to score a three-boobed future chick, the only thanks I’ll need is the knowledge that I—in whatever small capacity—Bro’d him out … though if he could figure out how to bring me back to life, that would be pretty awesome, too.
—Barney Stinson
WHAT IS A BRO?
You’ve probably heard the word Bro
used liberally at your local bar or gym. Perhaps you’ve seen it recklessly confused with dude
or guy
in an adventure-themed soft-drink commercial. Maybe even you yourself have unwittingly tossed out a Bro
when asking a stranger for the time. But an important distinction must be drawn: just because a guy is a dude, doesn’t mean that dude is a Bro.
Q: What is a Bro?
A: A Bro is a person who would give you the shirt off his back when he doesn’t want to wear it anymore. A Bro is a person who will bend over backwards to help you bend someone else over backwards. In short, a Bro is a lifelong companion you can trust will always be there for you, unless he’s got something else going on.
Q: Who is your Bro?
A: Your mailman is a Bro, your father was once a Bro, and the boy who mows your lawn represents the Bro of tomorrow, but that doesn’t make him your Bro. When someone has faithfully upheld one or more of the codes in the Bro Code, then you may consider him your Bro. Warning: Exercise caution when bringing home a hot chick—your brother may or may not be your Bro.
Q: Can only dudes be Bros?
A: You don’t need to be a guy to be somebody’s Bro, provided you uphold the moral values contained within this sacred canon. When a woman sets a guy up with her busty friend, she’s acting as a Bro. And if she sets him up with other hot friends after he slept with the first one and never called her again, then she’s officially his Bro.
BROCABULARY
As you thumb through The Bro Code, you may come across some words and terms you’ve never seen before. Many have been boldfaced and placed in the Glossary on page 193 so you can familiarize yourself with the Bronacular.
While Bros are always encouraged to spread the truth of the Bro Code, they are also cautioned against overusing Bro.
Such Broliferation cheapens the important mission of this book and, nearly as important, makes you sound stupid.
ORIGIN
While the story of the Bro Code is not nearly as simple