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    Satan's Advice to Young Lawyers: Satan's Guides to Life, #1
    Satan's Advice to Young Lawyers: Satan's Guides to Life, #1
    Satan's Advice to Young Lawyers: Satan's Guides to Life, #1
    Ebook76 pages38 minutes

    Satan's Advice to Young Lawyers: Satan's Guides to Life, #1

    By Aleister Lovecraft

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    About this ebook

    A must read for lawyers and law students!


    It is not every day that the Prince of Darkness himself writes a book.

    Inside the pages of this remarkable book, you will read Satan's wise and profound counsel on topics as diverse as choosing evil as a path to power, the billable hour, how to steal clients from your law firm, fashion, sex, and more.

    ******************

    "There is no denying it, Satan has the legal landscape dialed." -- Gabriel

    "Impressive book." -- John Milton

    "See? This is exactly what I was talking about." -- William Blake

    ******************

    Satan's Advice to Young Lawyers is a pithy guide to your rise from lowly first-year associate to renowned leader of the legal community.

    Do not let your competition have these secrets for themselves. Get the book now.

    ******************

    This book is also the perfect gift for your favorite law student or for someone who just passed the bar exam. Even established lawyers can learn a lot from this book.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAleister Lovecraft
    Release dateMay 16, 2015
    ISBN9781507067789
    Satan's Advice to Young Lawyers: Satan's Guides to Life, #1

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    Reviews for Satan's Advice to Young Lawyers

    4/5

    16 ratings5 reviews

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    • 5/5
      Amazing and funny read! That's really All I have to say about this book.
    • 5/5
      Must read for new attorneys. Short and funny but oddly comforting.
    • 5/5
      Great book. Simple, straightforward and adresses all the topics lawyers are unwilling to face. A book for sharks, written by the King Shark.
    • 5/5
      This quite thoroughly persuaded me towards a path of evil (as defined in the book). I'll be rereading this periodically.
    • 4/5
      very very interesting sad it felt short..or is the fact that i stayed glued for 45 minutes...from a minion

    Book preview

    Satan's Advice to Young Lawyers - Aleister Lovecraft

    Satan’s

    Advice to Young Lawyers

    Edited by,

    Aleister Lovecraft, Esq.

    © 2014, 2019 Aleister Lovecraft, Esq. and SatansAdvice.com

    Interior illustrations modified by the editor from public domain images obtained from the Flickr stream of the British Library.

    Do not reproduce any portion of this book without permission, other than for brief excerpts used for review purposes.

    Stop by satansadvice.com for more books and information.

    Table of Contents

    Introduction

    Part 1: Foundation

    Who may read this book

    A word of caution

    Good versus Evil

    A confession

    Rules still apply

    Part 2: The lawyer mindset

    Never apologize

    Misdirection

    Hide

    Helpful exploitation

    The Goal

    On writing

    Embrace technology

    Part 3: Working in a law firm

    The hierarchy

    Keep an enemies list

    The billable hour

    Firm events

    Stand up for yourself

    Freelancing

    Part 4: On clients

    Choice

    Insurance companies

    Personal injury plaintiffs

    Other clients

    Part 5: Keeping up appearances

    Dress well

    Stay in shape

    Give gifts

    Sex

    Conclusion

    Recommended Reading

    Introduction

    IT IS WITH MUCH EXCITEMENT and some trepidation that I publish this collection of advice, for I fear what might happen when this book is released to the legal profession and the world at large. The information inside is profoundly powerful and helpful, but it could be very dangerous if used for improper purposes.

    There is little need for introduction to the author of this work; we all know who he is. But, once you have finished this book, I think you will agree with me that what you thought you knew about him was wrong.

    I do not want to delay you from getting to the words of the Great Master, but I feel I need to explain how this manuscript came to be in my possession.

    It was an early evening about three years ago. I was a first-year associate at a well-known international law firm which – partly from courtesy, partly from fear of retribution – will remain unnamed. I had just left the office to find somewhere to eat dinner, planning to return to the office afterward to continue working on an important brief.

    As I walked out of the building’s lobby, I brushed shoulders with a tall, handsome and fit man in his late forties or early fifties. He was wearing a conservative and impeccably tailored suit, complete with a pocket square and American flag tie pin.

    I’m sorry, sir, I said. I wasn’t paying attention.

    He smiled at me and asked, Worried about the Stevenson brief?

    I was startled that he would know not only that I was worried about something but also that he knew the exact thing I was worried about.

    Do you work at the firm? I don’t recognize you, I said.

    No, I do not, he said. But, I have something for you. He handed

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