Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    I Still Want It
    I Still Want It
    I Still Want It
    Ebook116 pages1 hour

    I Still Want It

    By Derrick Jaxn

    4/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    In "I Still Want It", Derrick Jaxn delivers a life-changing collection of poems immersed in raw, passionate, but brave vulnerability.

    Dark truths of his lustful past, revelations during his ongoing battle with heartbreak, and empowering words of wisdom leave readers with a renewed faith in a love they may have lost hope in finding. His signature way with words seasons all 178 pages of "I Still Want It" which will not only evoke a cocktail of emotions but leave the unforgettable and gratifying taste that Derrick is known for in his previous titles.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDerrick Jaxn
    Release dateJun 19, 2015
    ISBN9781310456886
    I Still Want It
    Author

    Derrick Jaxn

    Derrick Jaxn is the founder of Mentally Stimulate Me Card Game and author of seven books, including his highly anticipated forthcoming title, Don't Forget Your Crown. Derrick began blogging in 2012 about his hard-learned lessons in love shortly after breaking up with his college sweetheart and has, since, turned his lessons into a viral movement of over five million social media followers that he reaches daily with videos, posts, and live chats about dating and relationships. Over 800 million video views, and counting, gave way to conversations that Derrick noticed happening in his comment sections that needed to happen more often in the homes of those on the dating scene to prevent time wasted in relationships. He decided to solve that problem by creating Mentally Stimulate Me Card Game in April of 2017 which would integrate touchy relationship topics in a fun way early into the dating phase. 200,000 customers later, his cards are quickly becoming a household name and date night must-have across the globe. Despite his success as an entrepreneur, Derrick is mostly known for curating content online in advocacy for the importance of self-love as the antithesis to the need of validation within a relationship. He often lends his massive influence to sensitive, and sometimes controversial topics like narcissism, rape culture, and the combating of stereotypes against single mothers which has earned the trust of his listeners that they can count on him to speak on what's necessary instead of just what's popular. When Derrick isn't championing healthy relationships and building his empire, he enjoys spending time with his former college sweetheart, and current wife, Da'Naia and their two children.

    Read more from Derrick Jaxn

    Related to I Still Want It

    Related ebooks

    Poetry For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Letters to Mum

      Mar 24, 2021

      Dear Mum, There are still times when I go to call you. It seems inexplicable to me that you actually died. I used to wonder how it would feel, and after 16 years, I’m still not sure. The main thing I want to tell you is that I get it now. I understan

      5 min read

    • Article

      Here’s What I Don’t Say

      Jun 1, 2019

      Here’s What I Don’t Say
      13 min read

    • Article

      Festival

      Sep 15, 2018

      My husband, who loved festivals, who was a great fan of festivals, wanted to get to the square in time for the first band at eleven o’clock. From bed, the dog and I watched him dress. He tried on various T-shirts, declaring some of them too tight and

      13 min read

    • Article

      A Letter To My Son.

      Jun 3, 2021

      A Letter To My Son.
      7 min read

    • Article

      Birthday Surprise

      Sep 17, 2021

      Birthday Surprise
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Experts

      Oct 18, 2022

      Q My new partner is kind, charming and wonderful in bed. But now we’re sharing our fantasies, he’s mentioned one that really worries me. He wants me to dress as a man, then for us to go for dinner together pretending to be a gay couple. So, is he rea

      3 min read

    • Article

      After “The End”

      Oct 10, 2022

      I walked down the road with a hunched back and a wet cigarette in my mouth—the fire had died a while back. My hands were tucked into the pockets of my jacket, and my hair fell over my face, limiting my sight. But I wasn’t really seeing where I was go

      10 min read

    • Article

      Freedom

      Aug 6, 2020

      Freedom
      7 min read

    • Article

      Collateral Damage

      Nov 6, 2020

      Collateral Damage
      6 min read

    • Article

      Virginia Ironside

      Jan 12, 2022

      Q My mother died last year and I’m still tormented by the fact that, despite all my efforts, she died alone. I’d set up a rota with my family so there was someone with her all the time during her last days, even at night. But when it was my shift, sh

      3 min read

    • Article

      From The heart

      Oct 27, 2020

      Dear Sally My step daughter often feels spirits around her. The other day I was talking to her on Facetime and I thought her husband was standing behind her until she told me he was at work. She took a picture of some poles she was selling and later

      5 min read

    • Article

      Not Just For CHRISTMAS

      Nov 24, 2021

      Not Just For CHRISTMAS
      9 min read

    • Article

      I’ll Not Risk Myself

      Feb 10, 2024

      My phone reception is better outside the laundromat, so I spend most of my time waiting for laundry on the bench near the door. I don’t talk with my friends, but I surf the news. I like to know what’s going on. I don’t like people to know about me, t

      13 min read

    • Article

      Why, Dad? Why?

      Oct 2, 2022

      Why, Dad? Why?
      7 min read

    • Article

      Deborah Meaden

      Jul 10, 2023

      Deborah Meaden
      6 min read

    • Article

      My Secret

      Jan 23, 2020

      Calling out from the top of the stairs, I wanted my mum to come and check on something. ‘My head feels weird,’ I shouted down to her. ‘What is it darling? Oh I see…’ she said coming to inspect the back of my scalp and noticing that chunks of my hair

      4 min read

    • Article

      Just The Way YOU ARE

      Feb 7, 2023

      Just The Way YOU ARE
      9 min read

    • Article

      In Review

      Dec 20, 2021

      In Review
      4 min read

    • Article

      TOWN & COUNTRY

      Jun 1, 2022

      TOWN & COUNTRY
      3 min read

    • Article

      The Space Between Us

      Oct 9, 2019

      The Space Between Us
      8 min read

    • Article

      Runaway Bride

      Aug 21, 2023

      It’s definitely a mistake to have worn the dress to the airport. Alana knows that the second she walks past the terminal’s Wetherspoons – rammed at 5.30am – and is greeted by a chorus of “Lost your groom, love?” by a bunch of drunk stags in matching

      6 min read

    • Article

      No More People Pleasing

      Oct 19, 2023

      No More People Pleasing
      8 min read

    • Article

      Heave’s Whisky

      Feb 27, 2024

      Heave’s Whisky
      7 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for I Still Want It

    4/5

    44 ratings2 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 5/5
      Definitely a must read. I couldn't stop reading! So much truth it's unreal. I loved everything about this book & will definitely read it again?
    • 5/5
      Great read! Highly recommend for all the ladies out there

    Book preview

    I Still Want It - Derrick Jaxn

    Preface

    I want to fall in love again. This time, without the fear of falling on my face. I want deep conversations without a fear of trusting too much and to hold without a fear of having to let go.

    I want someone I don't have to watch my back with, because we have each other. Effortless smiles and laughs until our cheeks are sore. I want to cuddle up on cold nights watching movies until those movies are watching us.

    I want to make love, real love. The kind where you’d better stretch, put your hair in a high ponytail, and have water bottles nearby because nobody will be able to walk to the fridge afterwards. I want the climax to only be half time, not the finish line. And I want conversation and complimenting each other on a job well-done, until we're ready for more.

    I want her to wake up because I'm too loud in the kitchen trying to surprise her with breakfast in bed. I want to see her put on my shirt because she can't find her clothes, and when she goes to comb her hair, I want to come up and hug her from behind. Whisper something funny in her ear and watch her laugh in the bathroom mirror as we admire how good we look together.

    "People my age want to be a cute couple. I’d rather be a winning team."

    I Still Want It

    Everybody needs somebody to confide in

    Or maybe just…lie back and chill with,

    and after a few minutes of silence

    Turn and ask what they were thinking about

    To see if you were on their mind.

    And chances are you would be,

    Because that’s what best friends are like.

    But I wanna be more than friends.

    I wanna do all the corny stuff

    Like going to the state fair

    And going broke on games trying to

    win her huge teddy bears.

    You know, because girls like that.

    And if I’m lucky, it’ll be too cold

    to not hold hands.

    She’ll be happy either way because

    she’s with me. She’ll understand.

    And I’ll listen to her.

    I’ll write her poems to show her I did.

    When I mess up,

    I’ll swallow my pride, apologize,

    And give her a soft forehead kiss.

    Or maybe, wait ‘til she goes to work,

    Fill her car up with her favorite flowers.

    You know, a nice gesture

    to show her I care about her.

    Because I do. I mean…I will.

    I’ll treat her right. Like a queen.

    I won’t just treat her like a queen,

    I’ll get on one knee

    And give her the crown too: an engagement ring.

    Yeah…I’m into that whole marriage thing.

    Not just the wedding,

    but the children, the fussing,

    The sleeping with no clothes on

    In case we’re having wet dreams

    we wanna turn into a reality

    Until we’re turning the alarm off…

    All of it. I want that.

    I don’t know if it’s outdated

    or not cool anymore but,

    I still want it.

    Nobody wants to spend their days trying to stop missing someone. I’m no exception. No superhero, although I pretend to be sometimes. But deep down, I think we all crave someone who lets us take off our super cape and expose our human flaws. Even after we’ve tried and tried and mistakenly thought we were done for good. That part of us that wants the calm before every other storm in our past to last for the rest of our lives; it lives on.

    In my youth, I set out to kill it. Promiscuity, lies, apathy; you name the weapon, I used it mercilessly but to absolutely no avail. Painful lessons learned and some scars that’ll never heal molded a new faith in love. A faith manifested by exposure to women who revealed to me the full evolution of human beings in their strongest form. The amazing thing was that they didn’t even realize it.

    God Hasn’t Forgotten You

    Pretty girl, big smile, bright future.

    Came across a guy who promised

    to do everything but lose you.

    Skeptical at first, but still,

    you gave him a chance to be different,

    but when your period stopped it wasn't long

    before he, too, came up missing.

    But first, you broke the news,

    and he tried to talk you into an abortion.

    Telling you how he's not ready to be a father,

    and how you had

    Enjoying the preview?
    Page 1 of 1