Soulmate Hunting After 40: The Mature Person's Guide to Finding and Keeping Love and Happiness
By Marcia Gage
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About this ebook
The book takes you through five basic rules that help you find happiness with yourself, while attracting your ideal partner.
Even if you are already happily married or attached, this book will help you keep improving your relationship and yourself as a person.
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Soulmate Hunting After 40 - Marcia Gage
review.
Dedication
I lovingly dedicate this book to my husband, Judd Herrmann, who also happens to be my best friend and soulmate.
INTRODUCTION
Rule # 1: Stop trying (so hard)
As a woman in my mid-fifties I still have a vivid recollection of myself as a fifteen year old. My curves had not yet appeared, though my pimples had. My facial features were all larger than normal, though my eyes were hidden behind glasses with lenses as thick as coke bottles. At this point too, I was taller than most the boys my age and was pretty much resolved that I would never have a boyfriend.
I remember considering converting to Catholicism, as I thought becoming a nun would be less embarrassing than my impending fate as a spinster.
Though I never turned into a bouncy blue-eyed, blonde cheerleader, contact lenses and Mother Nature took care of most my physical problems. The improvement in my appearance and the development of my great personality seemed to guarantee me male attention and companionship after the age of 18.
After nearly a twenty year hiatus from matrimony, I am now nearly five years into my second and most successful marriage.
Why am I writing this book? I have so many friends and acquaintances over the age of 40, who, at various levels of desperation, are seeking companionship and/or romance. For some, their level of loneliness reminds me of my heartache, during my teenage years, something a middle-aged person should not have to endure. Most of them are divorced or widowed, though some of them have never married, but the majority seems to be spending much of their precious time on earth worrying about how to get a partner. Originally, I intended to write this book just for women. I’ve observed, however, that just as many middle-aged and older men also suffer from loneliness, perhaps even more so.
Here is the first and most important rule in finding your soul mate: STOP TRYING! Or, at least stop trying so hard. And in America we are trying very hard to find love. Take, for instance, the online dating industry. The most obvious parallel to the dating industry is the diet or weight-loss industry. I can only imagine how many billions of dollars are spent in this country only to find there is only one true guarantee, results not typical.
The same may be said for the online dating industry. Though there are, of course, success stories of finding love and even matrimony, more often there is just a whole lot of money being spent. In fact, while the online dating services are claiming success in forming hundreds of thousands of meaningful relationships, they don’t mention this is out of a base of 20 to 30 million members. Though many of the major players in the online dating service industry rope you in with free offers, it is estimated Americans will spend 1.65 billion dollars in 2012 trying to find love online.¹
I have personally become exhausted just looking at the stacks of profiles friends have of potential suitors. Each of them represents a certain amount of research and, often, a first date is more like a job interview. And guess what?! People lie. It is easier to fib online than it is in person. It is estimated that over half of both women and men substantially deflate their weight while inflating their height and salaries. Orkin Pest Control currently has a brilliant ad campaign out demonstrating how insects try and work their way into our lives. In one commercial, an attractive woman is waiting for her cyber date while gazing at his supposed picture. Instead