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    The Tao of George Carlin
    The Tao of George Carlin
    The Tao of George Carlin
    Ebook95 pages1 hour

    The Tao of George Carlin

    By Marcus Stuart

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    About this ebook

    George Carlin was much more than a mere stand-up comedian, actor, author and social critic.  Truly great comedians like George are more like great philosophers whose words have the ability to shape and influence public thought.

    Great comedy — at its best — pushes our buttons and challenges our perceptions and ways of thinking.  No person is a better example of this than George Carlin, a savage satirist and brilliant thinker who was just as much of a writer and a philosopher as he was a comedian. His medium was stand-up, but he touched on issues of race, class, politics and American life — saying the kinds of things no one else dared.

    He won 5 Grammy Awards for his work, had 14 HBO Specials beginning in 1977, was a frequent guest on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and was the first host of Saturday Night Live. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

    Carlin got famous for his bit about the “words you can’t say on television,” but his legacy speaks of so much more, wisdom and wit that deserve to live on through the ages…hence the purpose of this book.

    If you resonate towards the truth you will love this book…if you prefer ignorance it may be a good idea to avoid this book.

    Strap on your seatbelt for this A to Z guide on George’s timeless wisdom and comedy!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMarcus Stuart Vannini
    Release dateFeb 17, 2017
    ISBN9781386007180
    The Tao of George Carlin

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      Book preview

      The Tao of George Carlin - Marcus Stuart

      Introduction

      George Carlin was much more than a mere stand-up comedian, actor, author and social critic. Truly great comedians like George are more like great philosophers whose words have the ability to shape and influence public thought. Great comedy — at its best — pushes our buttons and challenges our perceptions and ways of thinking.  No person is a better example of this than George Carlin, a savage satirist and brilliant thinker who was just as much of a writer and a philosopher as he was a comedian. His medium was stand-up, but he touched on issues of race, class, politics and American life — saying the kinds of things no one else dared.

      He won 5 Grammy Awards for his work, had 14 HBO Specials beginning in 1977, was a frequent guest on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and was the first host of Saturday Night Live. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

      Carlin got famous for his bit about the words you can’t say on television, but his legacy speaks of so much more, wisdom and wit that deserve to live on through the ages...hence the purpose of this book.

      If you resonate towards the truth you will love this book...if you prefer ignorance it may be a good idea to avoid this book.

      Strap on your seatbelt for this A to Z guide on George’s timeless wisdom and comedy!

      Abortion, Activists, Addicts, Age, Airplanes & Alcohol

      Abortion

      Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.

      Activists

      "Dear Political Activists,

      All your chanting, marching, voting, picketing, boycotting and letter-writing will not change a thing; you will never right the wrongs of this world. The only thing your activity will accomplish is to make some of you feel better. Such activity makes powerless people feel useful, and provides them the illusion that they’re making a difference. But it doesn’t work. Nothing changes. The powerful keep the power. That’s why they’re called the powerful.

      This is similar to people’s belief that love can overcome everything, that it has some special power. It doesn’t. Except one on one. One on one, love is incredibly powerful. It is a beautiful thing. But if love had any power to change the world, it would have prevailed by now. Love can’t change the world. It’s nice. It’s pleasant. It’s better than hate. But it has no special power over things. It just feels good. Love yourself, find another person to love and feel good.

      Love, George"

      Addicts

      One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

      Age

      One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.

      I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam.

      Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom

      When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

      So far, this is the oldest I’ve been...

      The older you get, the better you realize you were.

      Airplanes

      What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on? 

      If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

      Ladies and gentlemen, we have just begun our gradual descent into the Indianapolis area, a descent similar in many ways to the gradual slide of the United States from a first-class world leader to an aggressive, third-rate debtor nation of overweight slobs, undereducated slob children and aimless elderly people who can’t afford to buy medicine.

      Alcohol

      I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

      One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

      I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

      Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.

      America & Americans

      America

      We are a nation of sheep, and  someone else owns the grass.

      When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.

      I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

      No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you're screwed because it's all fixed and rigged. There is a club and you ain't in it.

      I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

      Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.

      I think one of the problems in this country is that too many people are screwing things up, committing crimes and then getting on with their lives. What is really needed for public officials who shame themselves is ritual suicide.

      If I had been in charge of reorganizing the government’s security agencies into a homeland defense organization, I would have divided the responsibilities into two agencies: The Bureau of What the Fuck Was That? and The

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