We all have weird pet peeves that our partner's seem to always break the 'rules' on. Chewing too loud, not squeezing the toothpaste out of the tube correctly, leaving dirty clothes on the floor....the list goes on. These little things can create conflict in a relationship, especially over time. Listen to today's show to learn how to communicate with your partner, and not let small things annoy you. In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include: How to step back and ask ourselves why we're having little fights, and what's really going on underneath. Why every communication is a negotiation with our partner that we must understand. The importance of active listening and validation in communication with your partner. How to deescalate an argument so that it can be more productive for your relationship. Decompressing to help manage communication when you or your partner is stressed. And much more! David Ludden is a professor of psychology at Georgia Gwinnett College in Altanta. He is the author of the textbook "The Psychology of Language: An Integrated Approach." His also maintains the blog "Talking Apes" on the "Psychology Today" website. Much of his writing focuses on the role of communication in building and maintaining relationships. Full show notes and episode links at: http://idopodcast.com/135 Sign up for our 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge here: 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge Do you want to hear more on this topic? Are you or your partner becoming irritated with each other because of annoying behaviors? If so, you're not alone. Continue the conversation on our Facebook Group here: Love Tribe Sponsors Zola: Zola is the wedding company that will do anything for love. They are reinventing the wedding planning and registry experience to make the happiest moment in our couples' lives even happier. From engagement to wedding and decorating your first home, Zola is there, combining compassionate customer service with modern tools and technology. All in the service of love. To sign up with Zola and receive a $50 credit towards your registry, go to ZOLA.com/ido. Lovelands: Lovelands is a highly readable guide to creating the relationship and life you most deeply desire, by psychologist Dr Debra Campbell. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep going wrong in love and how to make lasting change for the better — Lovelands will show you how to make that change, not just in your relationship but in every area of your life. Get your copy of Lovelands today — available in hardcover, Amazon and Audible. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! - Chase & Sarah