Sex

It's very natural to be slightly embarrassed or uncomfortable in the face of this issue but we have to admit that sex is a natural part of our existance. Also, teens and adolescents will be curious and they will search for answers. If they have nowhere or no one reliable to go to because of embarrassment, they will go to more readily available but unreliable or unIslamic sources. This might end doing more harm than good. I hope providing this information will benefit everyone - parents and kids alike.

Basic bedroom fiqh Turning Sex Into Sadaqa Sexual Relations Between Husband & Wife Sex - a means of keeping the heart pure Human Sexuality and the Shariah Sex Is Good For You More about Sex & Islam Is your Ghusl Correct? Female Circumcision Taking pictures whilst naked or having intercourse Reading sexual advice in books on Internet Learning about abortion and veneral diseases Abortion of babies with genetic diseases Is In Vitro Fertilization Allowed? Masturbation: Halal or Haram? Mutual Masturbation between spouses Advice for one who wakes up masturbating Masturbating to avoid pornography Drinking one's wife's milk during foreplay Oral Sex Family Planning Date Rape Reproductive Issues Flirtation and Love Affairs Lowering our Gaze Islamic Perspective on Homosexuality Private Schools Promoting Homosexuality Qaradawi on Free-Mixing of Men and Women Anal Sex Condoms Viagra Transplanting Testicles Sterility Operations Cool story about Abstaining

Basic bedroom fiqh

Question: I just got married, and would like to know the essential fiqh of bedroom relations. I wanted to know the fiqh of intimacy with one's spouse. Specifically what is haram, makrooh, mubah, halal..etc... Answer: It is disliked to:

o o o

Face the qibla. (Ibn `Abidin) Be in the presence of a mature child. (Ibn `Abidin) Talk, for it is from the sunna not to talk excessively during intercourse. (Ibn `Abidin)

It is proper to cover up a Quran in the bedroom. (Ibn `Abidin) It is best to avoid looking at each others private parts, though some Companions held that it is fine because it increases desire. (Durar) Ibn al-Hajj al-Maliki mentioned in al-Madkhal:

o o

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The beginning of the night is better One must avoid intercourse with ones wife before any foreplay, because it has been interdicted. Rather, one should play around with her and jest with kisses, touches and the like. Then, one sees that she is ready, prepared, and desirous of him, only then should he initiate intercourse. The wisdom of the Lawgiver in this is evident, for the woman derives pleasure as a man does. If he approaches her while she is unprepared, he may fulfill his need, but she may not, and would feel frustrated Before penetration, one should say, Bismillah Allahumma Jannibna alShaytan, wa Jannib ish-Shaytanu ma Razaqtana, as has been authentically reported in the sunna One should be careful to fulfill the rights of the wife with regards to intercourse, and to safeguard her religion. One should fulfill oneself [=orgasm] after she has achieved fulfillment, to be under the general rubric of the Prophets saying (Allah bless him and give him peace), Allah is in the assistance of a servant as long as he is in the assistance of his fellow. One should not have intercourse without covers It is best to perform ghusl before sleeping after intercourse. Or, at least to do wudu and wash the private parts. [f: One should not, at the very least, leave washing the private parts.]

These are general guidelines. Ruqayya Waris Maqsoods book on marriage goes into some detail on the subject, as does Imam al-Ghazalis work. Anal sex is, of course haram.

Mutual hand stimulation is permitted. Sexual fluids are najis, so oral sex is detested. During mentruation (hayd), intercourse is haram. So is direct skin contact between the wifes navel and knee. Everything else, however, remains permitted. And Allah knows best. Answered by Sidi Faraz Rabbani of the Hanafi fiqh list.

Turning Sex Into Sadaqa

An excerpt from 'The Muslim Marriage Guide', By Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood (Amana Publications), reprinted in Beliefnet.com

"Women shall have rights similar to the rights upon them; according to what is equitable and just; and men have a degree of advantage over them." (Quran, 2:216) They do indeed! This passage of the Holy Quran was revealed in connection with the rights of women following a divorce, but it also has a general sense. One basic right of every person taking on a contract never to have sex other than with their own legitimate partner is that each spouse should therefore provide sexual fulfillment (imta') to the other, as part of the bargain. Now, every man knows what sexual things please him--but some men, particularly those who have not been married before and are therefore lacking experience, don't seem to know much about how to give the same pleasure to the woman; even worse, some men do know but they can't be bothered to make the effort. Yet this is vital if a marriage is to succeed and not just be a disappointing burden for the woman, and it is a vital part of one's Islamic duty. It is not acceptable for a Muslim man just to satisfy himself while ignoring his wife's needs. Experts agree that the basic psychological need of a man is respect, while that of a woman is love. Neither respect nor love are things that can be forced--they have to be worked for, and earned. The Prophet (s) stated that in one's sexual intimacy with one's life partner there is sadaqa (worship through giving): God's Messenger(s) said: "In the sexual act of each of you there is a sadaqa." The Companions replied: "0 Messenger of God! When one of us fulfils his sexual desire, will he be given a reward for that?" And he said, "Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? Likewise, if he acts upon it lawfully he will be rewarded." (Muslim) This hadith only makes sense if the sexual act is raised above the mere animal level. What is the magic ingredient that turns sex into sadaqa, that makes it a matter of reward or punishment from Allah? It is by making one's sex life more than simple physical gratification; it is by thought for pleasing Allah by unselfish care for one's partner. A husband that cannot understand this will never be fully respected by his wife.

Neither spouse should ever act in a manner that would be injurious or harmful to their conjugal life. Nikah is the sacred tie between husband and wife, that sincere and devoted love without which they cannot attain happiness and peace of mind. "Of His signs is this: that He created for you spouses that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy." (Quran, 30:21) Now, every Muslim knows that a man has a right on his wife. However, because nikah is a contract never to seek sexual satisfaction outside the marriage bond, Islam commands not only the women but the men in this respect, and makes it clear that if a husband is not aware of the urges and needs of his wife, he will be committing a sin by depriving her of her rights. According to all four orthodox jurists, it is incumbent upon the husband to keep his wife happy and pleased in this respect. Likewise, it is essential for the wife to satisfy the desire of the husband. Neither should reject the other, unless there is some lawful excuse. Now, it is fairly easy for a woman to satisfy a man and make herself available to him, even if she is not really in the mood. It is far harder for a man to satisfy a woman if he is not in the mood, and this is where an important aspect of male responsibility needs to be brought to every Muslim man's attention, and stressed strongly. The jurists believed that a woman's private parts needed "protecting" (tahsin). What they meant was that it was important for a Muslim husband to satisfy his wife's sexual needs so that she would not be tempted to commit zina out of despair or frustration. A Muslim wife is not merely a lump of flesh without emotions or feelings, just there to satisfy a man's natural urges. On the contrary, her body contains a soul no less important in God's sight than her husband's. Her heart is very tender and delicate, and crude or rough manners would hurt her feelings and drive away love. The husband would be both foolish and immoral to act in any way unpalatable to her natural temperament, and a man selfishly seeking his own satisfaction without considering that of his wife is a selfish boor. In fact, according to a hadith: "Three things are counted inadequacies in a man. Firstly, meeting someone he would like to get to know, and taking leave of him before learning his name and his family. Secondly, rebuffing the generosity that another shows to him. And thirdly, going to his wife and having intercourse with her before talking to her and gaining her intimacy, satisfying his need from her before she has satisfied her need from him." (Daylami) This is another of the things implied by the saying that one's wife is "a tilth unto you." (Quran, 2:223) The imagery is that of a farmer taking care of his fields. According to Mawlana Abul-Ala Mawdudi: "The farmer sows the seed in order to reap the harvest, but he does not sow it out of season or cultivate it in a manner which will injure or exhaust the soil. He is wise and considerate, and does not run riot." (Afzalur Rahman, Quranic Sciences, London 1981, p.285) Likewise, in the case of husband and wife, the husband should not just: Take hold of his wife and rub the seed and finish the business of procreation. The damage in this case could sometimes be irreparable, because a woman, unlike a farm, is very sensitive and has emotions, feelings, and strong passions which need full

satisfaction and attention in a proper and appropriate manner. (Afzalur Rahman, Quranic Sciences, London 1981, p. 286) If this is not taken into consideration, and the wife is not properly prepared to start lovemaking, or is unsatisfied when it is finished, there could be many psychological and physiological complications leading to frigidity and other abnormalities. Indeed, many husbands eventually become disappointed with their wives, believing them to be frigid or unable to respond to their activities (unlike the sirens on the film or TV screen), and they wonder what is wrong with them. A possible explanation will follow in a moment. Allah created male and female from a single soul in order that man might live with her in serenity (Quran, 7:189), and not in unhappiness, frustration and strife. If your marriage is frankly awful, then you must ask yourself how such a desperate and tragic scenario could be regarded by anyone as "half the Faith." According to a hadith: "Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you." "And what is that messenger?" they asked, and he replied: "Kisses and words." (Daylami) These "kisses and words" do not just include foreplay once intimacy has commenced. To set the right mood, little signals should begin well in advance, so that the wife has a clue as to what is coming, and is pleasantly expectant, and also has adequate time to make herself clean, attractive and ready. As regards intimacy itself, all men know that they cannot achieve sexual fulfillment if they are not aroused. They should also realise that it is actually harmful and painful for the female organs to be used for sex without proper preparation. In simple biological terms, the woman's private parts need a kind of natural lubrication before the sexual act takes place. For this, Allah has created special glands, known to modern doctors as the Bartholin glands, which provide the necessary "oils." It is still possible to read old-fashioned advice to husbands that a desirable wife should be "dry"--which is remarkable ignorance and makes one really grieve for the poor wives of such inconsiderate men. Just as no one would dream of trying to run an engine without the correct lubricating fluids, it is the same, through the creative will of Allah, with the parts of the female body designed for sexual intimacy. A husband should know how to stimulate the production of these "oils" in his wife, or at the very least allow her to use some artificial "oils." This lack of knowledge or consideration is where so many marital problems frequently arise. As Imam al-Ghazali says: "Sex should begin with gentle words and kissing," and Imam al-Zabidi adds: "This should include not only the cheeks and lips; and then he should caress the breasts and nipples, and every part of her body." (Zabidi, Ithaf al-Sada al Muttaqin, V 372) Most men will not need telling this; but it should be remembered that failure to observe this Islamic practice is to neglect or deny the way Allah has created women. Insulting a wife with bad marital manners. Firstly, a husband must overcome his shyness enough to actually look at his wife, and pay attention to her. If he cannot bring himself to follow this sunna, it is an insult to her, and extremely hurtful. Personal intimacy is a minefield of opportunities to hurt each other--glancing at the watch, a yawn at the wrong moment, appearing bored, and so on. A husband's duty is to convince his wife that he does love her--and this can only be done by word (constantly repeated word, I might add--such is the irritating nature of women!), and by looking and touching.

Many people believe that the expression in the eyes reveals much of the human soul. Certainly the lover's gaze is a most endearing and treasured thing. Many wives yearn for that gaze of love, even after they have been married for years. If you cannot bring yourself to look at her while paying attention to her, she can only interpret this as a sign that you do not really love her. And even though it may be irritating to you, and seem quite superfluous, most women are deeply moved when a man actually tells her that he loves her. Sex is clean! A modest upbringing is part of good character. The Prophet (s) himself said: "Modesty brings nothing but good." (Bukhari and Muslim) But another, also important, part of Islamic teaching says that all of Allah's creation is beautiful and pure, particularly when it is part of the body of human beings, who are designed as His deputies upon the earth. In some religions, people traditionally believed that the woman's private parts are in some way unclean, or dirty, or even evil.

Sexual Relations Between Husband & Wife

Date: 18 MAY 1996 Newsgroups: soc.religion.islam Subject: Re: Sexual Relations Between Husband & Wife XXXX wrote: Hello. As a recently married Muslim, I was hoping someone could refer me to sources which can guide me as to what is permissible in Islam between a man and his wife. I once heard of an Islamic book called "Perfumed Garden"? Is there such a publication? Or could someone suggest other sources. In particular, I needed to know what the five schools of thought advised on oral sex or fellatio. Please email or post responses. Thank you.

Reply
alssalaamu 3alaykum May Allah bless you and your wife with his blessing and unite you in harmony and happiness. The book you mentioned, "The Perfumed Garden", was written in Tunisia in the 16th century A.D. by Cheikh 'Omar bin Sidi en-Nefzawi. It is a sort of marriage manual written in a rather provocative and lewd style. Even the author himself acknowledges its lascivious nature by ending it with these words: "I have indeed committed a sin by writing this book. Forgive me O Thou to whom we call not in vain. O Allah, do not confound me for this on the Day of Judgment. And you, O Reader, I beg you to say 'Amen'." The book is an interesting historical and cultural oddity; it is not to be recommended as an educational manual for married couples. The principles of conjugal love in Islam are few and uncomplicated. 1. Sexual relations are for the pleasure of both the husband and the wife and for the procreation of children. Sexual intercourse is not limited to vaginal penetration but includes other forms of sexual caressing, such as kissing and fondling of various kinds.

2. Nothing should be done that is offensive or harmful to either person. Each has a duty to be sexually available to the other, but neither has the right to disgust or injure the other. 3. With a few exceptions, the couple can engage in any activities that they like, in any manner and in any position. Allah rewards such activities as surely as he punishes sinful activities. The Qur'an says, "Women are your fields. Go then into your fields as you please." (2:223) 4. It is forbidden to have vaginal intercourse while a woman is menstruating (Qur'an 2:222). According to the Sunnah of the Prophet (God's grace and peace be upon him), a man and his menstruating wife can however give one another pleasure so long as the woman's genitals are avoided. 5. There are ahadith that forbid anal intercourse and scholars generally agree that it is not permissible. However, in his tafsir (commentary) Tabaari (3d century A.H.) while forbidding sodomy, says that earlier authorities were divided on the question. 6. The Qur'an and the Sunnah are generally silent as to the various forms that sexual relations may take. Most authorities consider that it is up to the husband and wife in love and mutual respect to decide how to physically express their sexual desires. 7. What goes on in bedroom, is a private matter and should not be discussed or revealed to other persons unless there is some necessity, such as health or safety. Abu Hurairah narrates that the Prophet (pbuh) said this about people who reveal and discuss openly their sexual practices: "Do you know what those who do this are like? Those who do this are like a male and female devil who meet each other on the road and satisfy their desire while the people look on." Therefore, in Islam the husband and the wife choose their sexual activities according to the sure teaching of the Qur'an, in the light of the Sunnah as we are able to understand and appreciate it, in mutual respect for one another and knowing that the only witness to the expression of their desires will be Allah the Exalted, who will judge them according to their deeds and their heartfelt intentions. The question of the lawfulness of oral-genital contact is difficult because there are many opinions. For some, it is forbidden. For others, tolerated. For some it is lawful. Some consider it to be lawful as long as the couple use such contacts as foreplay and conclude their love-making with vaginal intercourse. I believe that this is a matter to be decided by the husband and wife together after seeking the guidance of Allah, who alone knows best. Peace to all who seek God's face.

Sex - a means of keeping the heart pure

Taken from "The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam" ('Adaab an-Nikaah), Book 12 of Imam Ghazalis "Ihya 'Ulum ad-Din", Translated by Muhtar Holland. Al-Baz Publishing, 1998, ISBN: 1-882216-14-8. Al-Junaid used to say: "I need sexual intercouse just as I need food." The wife is in fact nourishment and a means of keeping the heart pure. That is why Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) commanded anyone who caught site of a woman, and desired her, to couple with his wife, since that would dispel the temptation from his soul. (Page 24)

It is likewise related of Ibn 'Umar (may Allah be well pleased with him), who was one of the more ascetic and scholarly Companions, that he used to break his fast with sexual intercourse before eating. He would sometimes copulate before bathing and performing the sunset prayer. All this he did so as to leave his heart clear to worship Allah, and to dispose of Satan's power to distract him. (Page 25) After the death of Fatima (peace be upon her), her husband 'Ali (may Allah be well pleased with him) remarried in seven days. (Page 26)

Human Sexuality and the Shariat

by Professor Dr. Omar Hassan Kasule Sr. GENDER IDENTITY Separate Gender Identity Allah created 2 different and distinct genders as a pair (75:39, 53:45, 92:3). The male is different from the female (3:36) although ultimately both are from the same source (4:1, 7:189, 16:72, 30:12, 39:6). Each gender is encouraged to maintain its biological, psychological, emotional, and social identity. This is for the purpose of facilitating and regulating relations between the two genders for the good of the whole society. Parity, a basic phenomenon of creation, requires that men and women complement one another each bringing to the relationship unique features of the respective gender identity. This complementation would be meaningless if the two genders lost their separate identities. On the demographic level, there should exist equal numbers of men and women. This is maintained in a normal social setting. In abnormal situations the balance may be lost leading to social problems. One of the signs of the impending last day, yawm al qiyamat, will be gender imbalance with too many women for few men (KS p. 106). This will be followed by a lot of adultery, zina (KS p. 264). Gender awareness develops very early in children. Sexual awareness develops towards puberty. Gender Discrimination Gender separation has been used in a wrong way to discriminate against women on the basis of their sexuality. In contemporary western society the woman's body is sometimes treated as a sexual object to be exploited in the commercial advertisement and entertainment industries. In pre-Islamic Arabia, jahiliyyat, there was despise for females, idhlaal al nisa. There was preference for male births and hatred for females (6:137, 6:140, 6:151, 17:31, 60:12, 81:8-9, 16:58-59). Parents were sad on birth of a daughter (16:58-59, 43:17). Infant daughters were considered a blemish, aar (16:5859, 43:17) and were buried alive, wa'ad al banaat (6:137, 6:140, 6:151, 16:58-59, 17:31, 60:12, 81:8-9). Women were inherited as goods (4:19) and were denied the good things of life (6:139). In Christendom, women were blamed fior the original sin of Adam and Hawa and suffered discrimination as a result. Islam has emphasized gender identity while rejecting all forms of discrimination against the woman on the basis of her sexuality. The Qur'an makes it clear that both Adam and Hawa were misled (2:36, 7:22, 20:121). They both sought forgiveness from Allah and were forgiven (7:23). In 2 verses it is Adam and not Hawa who is mentioned as seeking forgiveness (2:37, 20:122). Human sexuality could be a cause of corruption. Women because of their sexual attractiveness can be a source of fitnat (MB #1837 Qur'an 64:14). This has been misunderstood as derogatory to the moral standards of women. In practice it is men who are more often the active or aggressive party in sexual corruption and should take the blame. Any situation of corruption involves both a man and a woman and both are morally guilty. The law equalizes their guilt and their punishment (24:2). In the same way Islam equalizes their reward for good work (3:195, 4:124, 16:97, 40:40, 33:35).

Men can also be a sexual attraction as the Qur'an tells us in the story of Yusuf (PBUH). His beauty was a temptation, fitnat, for women (12:26). Trans-sexuality The law considers any blurring of the gender distinction between males and females as highly undesirable. This applies to the way of dressing, talking, behaving and socializing. Effeminate men must not be allowed to enter homes (MB #948). Severe punishment is reserved for men who try to appear like women, mukhannath, and women who try to appear like men, mutarajjil, (KS p. 190, KS p. 540). The law specifies acceptable clothing and other bodily ornamentation for men and women (KS p. 266, KS p. 466). Only women can use silk (MB p. 947, KS p. 465) and gold (KS p. 213). It is recommended for men to grow a beard as a sign of their masculinity (KS p. 468).

EXPRESSION OF HUMAN SEXUALITY Human Sexuality is Normal Allah created sexual desire, shahwat, in humans (3:14, 7:81, 27:55). It is as normal as is the desire for food or shelter. Like other desires that Allah created in humans it is powerful and can overwhelm a weak human (23:106). Sexual desire like the desire for food can be satisfied legally or illegally. It is illegal to satisfy the sexual desire outside marriage or with a partner of the same gender (7:81, 27:55), or with animals or inanimate things. Humans differ from animals in that their sexual desire is there all the time. Animals develop the desire only in the period just before copulation and in their reproductive season or phase. This period is called estrus in apes. It is clear that human sexual desire is not only for reproduction but also for pleasure. In animals sexual desire is strictly related to the reproductive function. Expression of human sexuality involves the male and female together. This has been the convention since the creation of Adam. The mutual needs of men and women for one another are illustrated in the case of Adam and Hawa (KS p.41). Allah told him to settle in heaven with his wife. Monasticism is Forbidden Islam forbids complete rejection and suppression of the sexual instinct (MB #1828, 1829, 1830, KS p. 253). The prophet forbade his companions from castrating themselves so that they may be devoted to worship, ibadat, all the time. Monasticism as practiced in some Christian sects and other religions is a human invention (57:27) that goes against basic human nature. Sexual Attraction Allah has created in each gender features that attract the other gender. These include the physical beauty of the body (shape, size, movements, texture, color), the voice (pitch and depth), scalp and body hair (length, distribution, texture). Studies in animals have shown the existence of pheromones. These are chemical sexual attractants emitted by females. Their existence in humans is being studied. Physical beauty is appreciated by Islam and is considered one of the 4 reasons for marrying a woman (MB #1835). The intending spouses must see one another before marriage (MB #1846). This is to ensure that there is enough sexual attraction between them and prevents the regrets that may occur after marriage. Physical beauty deteriorates with age. Virginity enhances female sexual attraction and is considered desirable (56:36, 66:5). Marrying virgins is preferred (MB #1831) but there is no prejudice against the elderly widowed (2:234-235) or divorced (2:232) women. Aisha was the only wife of the Prophet who was a virgin.

Shaitan exploits the sexual attraction between the genders to inflame passions that lead to sexual transgression. Each person always has shaitan with him or her (KS p. 48). The sexual attractiveness of the woman is generally more than that of the man. Thus in sexual relations it is the male who usually seeks out the female. The extra beauty and attractiveness of the woman can be a temptation for both her and for men (12:23-24 & 12:30-34). A woman conscious of her beauty may exploit it by being flirtous and thus exposing herself to men. Men will be attracted by her beauty and may lose control and commit sexual transgression. Enhancing Sexual Attractiveness Human sexual attraction is enhanced in many ways; some are legal whereas others are not. Clothes enhance physical appearance besides the functions of covering nakedness and protecting the body against the elements of the weather. Perfumes and other good smells perhaps play the role of pheromones in humans. Women and men can dye their hair (KS p. 215). It is however forbidden to dye the hair black or to use artificial hair. Circumcision (khitaan) is exercised in many societies for both men and women. Some societies consider that it enhances sexuality whereas others consider it to decrease sexuality and use it to control sexual transgression. Islam did not forbid it but requires that it be moderate and considerate (KS p. 214). Circumcision of men is of hygienic importance.

REGULATION OF HUMAN SEXUALITY Sexual Hygiene The 2 hollow organs will lead most people to hell: the mouth, fam, and the genitals, farj (KS p. 178). Both are involved in sexual corruption one negotiates whereas the other commits the crime. The law has regulations for proper conduct of sexual relations. These either aim at decreasing sexual stimulation or removing antecedents of adultery. Normal functioning of society requires that marriageable men and women interact. Both genders, in their appearance and behavior, can stimulate sexual passions. This results into a higher likelihood of sexual transgression. The physical acts of sexual transgression are preceded by acts that may not innately be illegal. They are however forbidden or restricted because they could lead to or facilitate the commitment of sexual transgression. These restrictions come under the rubric of prevention of approaching adultery, qurb al zina (6:151, 17:32). The severe punishment for adultery, hadd al zina, (24:2-3) is a social or public deterrent in cases of flagrant violation of the law. Under normal circumstances, actual regulation should be social exercised by the family and not the state. Control of Sexuality It is wrong to consider control of human sexuality. It must be expressed. The issue is the manner in which it is expressed. This may be right or wrong. For the youths who are not able to marry, fasting is recommended as a means of controlling the sexual urge for a short time (MB 440). For the married fasting should not be overused. The fasting person must remember that the family has rights (MB p 454). Thus conjugal rights of the husband or wife can not be abolished on the basis of non-obligatory, nafil, fasting. The individual can exercise control over the sexual urge even in the presence of extreme provocation. A husband and wife need not be separated in situations in which coitus if forbidden like pilgrimage, fasting, or menstruation. A fasting couple are not allowed to engage in behavior that may make them lose control and engage in coitus. Kissing of

spouses in fasting is allowed provided there is no fear of transgression otherwise it is forbidden (KS p. 138). Psychological Barriers The family and society must erect psychological barriers that make the commission of sexual transgression difficult. Severe punishment is reserved in the hereafter for a person who allows sexual misconduct in his or her family, duyuuth (KS p. 263). There should exist in society a psychological revulsion to sexual corruption. Sexual misbehavior, fahishat, should not be allowed to broadcast openly (4:148, 24:19). Thus accusations of marital infidelity, al qadhaf, should not be made without proof and severe punishment is reserved for the accuser who can not produce 4 witnesses (KS p. 435, 24:4, 24:11-19, 24:23). Talking about sexual infidelity openly and lightly will eventually make the crime look ordinary and common and thus easier to commit. Those who committed sexual transgression should be socially isolated by not allowing them to marry chaste people but to marry only among themselves. Non-coital Adultery Adultery is a major sin. It has antecedents and if these are avoided the major ultimate sin may be avoided. The sexual urge is so strong that many people involved in an antecedent of zina may not be able to control themselves from going on to commit the illegal coitus. The concept of non-coital adultery refers to acts and behaviours that lead to zina. The various organs of the body can therefore be said to commit non-coital zina, zina al jawarih (MB #2061, KS p. 264). The eye, the ear, the mouth, and even the legs that walk from place to place can be accessories to the ultimate sin of illegal coitus. Thus there are regulations to prevent people from ever getting near adultery (17:32). The measures that protect the genitals from the ultimate crime are referred to as hifdh al farj (70:29-30) and inhsan al furuj (21:91, 24:33, 66:12). Men who protect their genitals are called al muhswinin and women are called al muhswinat (4:24-25, 5:5, 24:4, 24:23. Shyness, Haya The Islamic term haya is not perfectly translated by the English term, shyness. Haya is an inner spiritual protective device that makes a person shun sin and what may lead to it. It is not bashfulness or being introvert as some may think of it. Haya is considered part of faith, iman (KS p. 206). It is the morality of Islam (KS p. 206). Haya is always for the good and can never be negative (KS p. 206). It is a characteristic attribute of all messengers (KS p. 206). The Qur'an describes in detail the haya of the daughters of Shuaib in their meeting with Musa (PBUH) which should serve as a model for other women (28:23-28). Covering Nakedness, Satr al Awrat Awrat are those parts of the body that could elicit sexual stimulation if seen. Covering awrat prevents sexual corruption. Nudity of varying degrees is found in societies according to their level of sexual morality. Both men and women must cover the awrat. The awrat of men is different from that of women. The woman's awrat is all her body except the face and the hands. The man's awrat is confined to what is between the navel, surrat, and the knee, rukbat. The extent of covering awrat also depends on the person likely to see and the person being seen (24:31). More of the awrat could be exposed to close relatives within the confines of the home (24:31, 33:55). A close male relative is not allowed to see a woman's nakedness except what is between the navel and the knee. The regulations of hijab are relaxed for an elderly woman with no hope of marriage (24:60). The laws on exposing nakedness start applying to children from the age of 7. They should seek permission before entering rooms of adults in the home for

fear of accidental exposure of awrat. Male and female children should not share beds after the age of 7. The law regulates the use of public baths. Where it is not possible to cover awrat, public baths are forbidden (KS p. 203). Naked persons are not allowed in such baths (KS p. 203). The laws of hijab contain special provisions for women as was described in the verses on hijab (KS p. 541). It is not enough for the woman to cover her nakedness. The law of hijab specifies in detail how that nakedness has to be covered. For example it must be covered in such a way that the shape of the body is not definable. Clothes through which the color of the skin can be seen are not permitted. In general the woman should cover all of her body except the face and the hands. In cases of high temptation due to her beauty she may have to wear a full veil covering her face as well. Seclusion, Khalwat It is forbidden for a women to be alone with a marriageable man (KS p. 540, MB # 1868). Whenever a man is with a woman in seclusion, shaitan comes between them. Shaitan is always trying to misguide as he did with Adam and Hawa (2:36, 7:22, 7:27). Seclusion is defined as a man being with a marriageable woman who is not his wife in a place where others can not see them. Mixing, Ikhtilat The law prohibits men and women mixing without necessity. When men and women are together the natural sexual attractiveness could lead them into temptation. When mixing is unavoidable for societal necessity, certain etiquette have been prescribed by the law to guide male-female interaction. Awrat must be covered as prescribed by the law, satr al awrat (24:31). The regulations of hijab for women must be followed. Men and women who are strangers to one another have to lower their gaze, ghadh al basar(24:31), and not look at each other fixedly and for a prolonged time. Both genders must have haya (28: 23-25). If a man and woman talk to one another they must be serious, jidiyyat al takhatub (33:32) and not engage in frivolous talk that could lead to temptation. An atmosphere of solemnity, wiqaar, must be maintained during the whole period of interaction (24:31). Sexual Display, Tabarruj Women are supposed to conceal their ornamentation from public display (24:31). Women are discouraged from going out of their homes heavily adorned with attractive ornamentation (KS p 539). This includes wearing very heavy perfume in public. Such ornamentation should be reserved for the home. The ruling is more severe for a wife whose husband is absent (KS p. 540).

Privacy of the Home, Hurmat al Bayt A stranger is not allowed to enter a home unless given permission. This is to preserve the privacy of the occupants. The stranger may enter unannounced and find them in various degrees of nakedness. Thus permission to enter ensures that the house occupants' nakedness will not be exposed accidentally (MB #2060). A wife can not admit a stranger to her home without the permission of her husband (KS p. 542). Rooms within the home are also private territory that should not be entered before asking for permission.

HUMAN SEXUALITY AND MARRIAGE Marriage and Satisfaction of Sexuality Marriage is a natural human institution. Adam and Hawa were the first couple (2:35). Marital relations have continued ever since. A spouse is a source of psychological tranquillity (30:21, 25:74, 7:189). Marriage is the only institution that allows full expression of human sexuality in a responsible way. It is described by the Qur'an as a deep and serious relationship (4:21). The spouses give good company to one another, mu'asharat (4:19). Islam encourages marriage for all (KS p. 546). Marriage is protection against sexual immorality (KS p. 547, 60:10). If a man sees an attractive woman he should go to his wife immediately because that protects him from potential sin (KS p. 155). Marriage also serves the purpose of procreation to maintain the human race and rear children until adulthood (3:47, 4;1, 16:72, 19:20). Marriage is a public affair that must be announced and known in the community that a couple are husband and wife to avoid any suspicions that arise in secret marriages (KS p. 547, 2:235). The spouses must freely consent to enter into a marital relation (4:191). Desire for sexual satisfaction is a major reason for marriage. It is considered offensive by the law for a person who has no sexual desire at all to get married. A person who has desire for sexual satisfaction but has impediments like poverty or physical disability (disease, impotence) should control the desire by fasting. The sexual relation in marriage is wider that coitus. It involves mutual enjoyment such as kissing and fondling. The marital relation is much wider than a sexual relation. It involves social and psychological bonding. The husband and wife have to be close physically, psychologically and emotionally. Mutual good treatment and sympathetic consideration sustain love after the initial period of passionate involvement (4:19). The husband and wife can bathe together and see each other's nakedness (MB p 123/p). The husband can not keep away from contact with the wife because of menstruation. He can sleep with his menstruating wife provided both can control themselves to avoid copulation (MB p. 147). It is forbidden for a wife to withhold sexual favors from her husband without a valid reason (KS p. 542). The wife can not fast nafilat without the permission of the husband (MB #1860) because that would deny him his conjugal rights. Prohibition of Temporary Sexual Relations There are 4 types of temporary sexual relations: (a) temporary marriage, mut'at (b) prostitution, bighaa (c) adultery between consenting adults, zina and (d) marriage with the hidden intention to divorce after a time, zawaaj bi niyyat al talaq. They are forbidden because they reduce the sexual relation to its physical form without regard to the emotional, psychological, and social dimensions. They undermine and destroy the fabric of society. Temporary marriage, mut'at, is forbidden by law (MB #1844, KS p. 549). This is a type of marriage contracted by both parties for a fixed period of time. It violates the need for children to be reared in a permanent family. Humans require at least 15 years to be reared to adulthood. Prostitution is the exchange of sexual favors for money. It is physical enjoyment without emotional or psychological involvement. The law prohibits forcing girls into prostitution (24:33) for the sake of money. Adultery, zina, may have some form of emotional and psychological involvement besides the physical enjoyment but these are temporary. Some scholars have quoted evidence on the permissibility of marriage with the intention of divorcing. In our view the practice involves dishonesty on the part of the husband by failing to disclose his full intentions to the partner. Disclosure would of course turn this type of marriage into a form of mut'at marriage. Privacy of the Sexual Relationship The sexual attributes of a woman are private between and her husband. It is forbidden for one women to describe the sexual details of another women to her husband (MB

#1869, KS p. 539). It is forbidden for both spouses to disclose their sexual experiences to any outside parties (KS p. 540). Sexual Attractiveness in Marriage The sexual attractiveness is a continuous process that is necessary to bind the 2 spouses together. Some people misunderstand this to mean that a woman is attractive before marriage in order to attract the man and need not maintain her attractiveness after that. A married women must always look attractive to her husband (KS 540). This prevents him from being tempted by other women. The prophet forbade the return of a husband from a trip at night because he may surprise his wife who will not be able to prepare herself and be in the most attractive form (MB #1871). The wife is entitled to articles of hygiene to maintain her beauty. This however does not include cosmetics. Ghiirat The word ghiirat has been translated incorrectly into English as jealousy. It is more than simple sexual jealousy. It is a drive in the spouse and other members of the family to protect the chastity of both males and females. Ghiirat is commendable (MB p. 904 chapter #30) and is necessary for proper functioning of society. Too much of it could be destructive. Prohibited marriages, Maharim For proper functioning of the extended family, free and easy social intercourse must exist among its members. More intimate contacts will occur among the family members that is possible with outsiders. Sexual attraction and the sexual desire being human and natural could also exist within the extended family. The door to this was closed by the law by declaring degrees of relatives who are not marriageable (4:23) and with whom close social intercourse is allowed within the family.

COITUS Purpose Coitus serves 2 purposes: reproduction and sexual enjoyment. It is the most intimate and intense physical expression of human sexuality. All other expressions of sexuality precede or prepare for it. Sexual enjoyment in marriage, al istimtau fo al zawaj, is normal and is encouraged (4:24). Some scholars have argued that this enjoyment is confined to vaginal coitus. The majority argue that the enjoyment covers all parts of the body unless specifically prohibited by law. Benefits Coitus is necessary for child-bearing. Children are a bounty from Allah, n'imat al dhuriyyat (25:27, 42:49). It is difficult to describe the benefits of health to physical and psychological health. It is however known that its deprivation for prolonged periods of time leads to psychological and emotional disorders Consummation of Marriage

Marriage is annulled when coitus is physically impossible and there is no hope for a medical or surgical solution. This may be due to anatomical or physiological anomalies in both the male and the female. With recent developments in surgery some of these may be correctable. Psychogenic factors may cause vaginismus or frigidity in female and impotence in males. Appropriate treatment may be undertaken to prevent marital annulment. In cases of male impotence a grace period of 1 year is allowed while treatment is being sought. After that the marriage has to be annulled because it can no longer fulfil the fundamental purpose of protecting chastity of both partners. The marriage is considered consummated when successful coitus is achieved at least once. Coital failure after that is not an automatic annulment of marriage. The marriage payment, mahr, is not due in marriages annulled before sexual consummation. Conjugal Rights Both husband and wife have rights to sexual satisfaction. The conjugal rights are enforceable by law. None of the spouses can refuse under reasonable conditions. The refusal of a wife is considered rebellion, nushuuz, and the law has prescribed remedial measures for it. Frequency Like all other human activities there should be a balance between too little and too much coitus. Too much indulgence could be harmful in both the physical and psychological dimensions. Too little could be similarly harmful. The law does not stipulate any particular frequency. Each couple should find out for themselves what frequency is sufficient to satisfy and protect, ihswaan,, them from sexual corruption. Some jurists have argued that once every 4 days is the ideal based on the reasoning that a man with 4 wives can rotate among them in 4 days. Omar decreed that no soldier would be kept away from his wife for longer than 6 months which perhaps sets the upper limit of sexual deprivation. Conditions in which Coitus is Forbidden There are a few conditions in which coitus is prohibited for health or religious reasons. Coitus with menstruating women is forbidden (2:222). The same applies to women in the period of post-natal or post-abortion bleeding, nifaas. Coitus is prohibited during the day for fasting persons but is allowed at night (2:187). It is prohibited at all times during the period of ihram in pilgrimage, hajj (2:197). Coitus is forbidden in the mosque (2:187). A divorced woman is required by law to stay in her former husband's home for 3 months. He is prohibited from having sexual relations with her during this time and if he does the divorce automatically lapses. There are disputes about the permissibility of coitus with a lactating woman, ghayla. The best opinion is that it is permissible. It is inconceivable that sexual relations could be stopped for the period of 2 years that the Qur'an recommends for breast-feeding. Actions Prohibited in Sexual Ritual Impurity, Janabat After coitus and before ritual bath, ghusl, the following acts are forbidden: (a) reciting the Qur'an (KS p. 163), (b) prayer, salat, (c) circumbulating the kaaba, tawaaf. Adab of Sexual Conduct Coitus is an act of love and not mere physical satisfaction. It should be approached with that end in mind. Foreplay is a sunnat and it allows both parties to be psychologically and physiologically prepared. It is preferable that there is desire in both parties.

Preparation for coitus includes reciting the (KS p. 154) and a supplication, dua, (MB# 1854, KS p. 155). There is no control of the manner or postures of coitus provided it is vaginal (KS p. 154) and is natural. Coitus interruptus ('azl) is permitted (KS p. 154). It is considered offensive, makruh (KS p. 155). It can not done without the permission of the wife (KS p. 155). Coitus with women is vaginal. Anal intercourse is forbidden with both women ( ) and men (KS p. 155). It is recommended to make wudhu if coitus is repeated ( ). Ritual bath, ghusl, is required after coitus. It has to be undertaken by mere contact of the male and female genitalia even if no fluids were emitted.

Sex Is Good For You

Information Taken From: Natural Healing With the Medicine of The Prophet, Translated & Emendation from original Arabic by Muhammad Al-Akili. Edited by the webmaster, because it was androcentric (male centred) in its original form. It takes two to have sex. Some men forget the pleasure is not only theirs.

The sexual aspect of life has three basic purposes:

1. Conservation of the human race, and continuity of its kind until it reaches the total number of human beings intended by Allahs (SWT) leave to experience life in this world, to fulfill the divine purpose, and to show gratitude to its Creator. 2. Ejection of bodily fluids from the body, otherwise, suppression or retention of congested semen can cause various kinds of serious illnesses. 3. Fulfillment of ones desire, satisfaction of one's sexual pleasure, and enjoyment of this blessing. The latter is the only pleasure of such intercourse which is also provided in the heavenly paradise, whereby, therein three is neither ejaculation, natural discharge of bodily fluids, nor reproduction.

Sex is Good for You

Learned physicians find that sexual intercourse yields essential health benefits. Galen attributes semen to the elements of fire and air, and describes its humors as hot and moist. This is because semen is rich in prostaglandins, which are hormonelike fatty acids found throughout the body and particularly in semen. Prostaglandins are primary nutrients that affect essential body processes, including blood pressure, metabolism, and body temperature among others. Hence, understanding the value of this most unmitigated and purest form of blood an its preciousness requires great consideration in discharging it. This means to wisely value the reasons behind dispensing of this precious water of life for either conceiving a child, or emitting it through lawful sexual intercourse upon congestion. In fact, congested semen which are retained for an extended period can cause various illnesses and infirmities, including obsession, habitude, lunacy, and even insanity, and

sometimes, engaging in lawful sexual intercourse may aid in the recovery from such illnesses. On the other hand, congestion and prevalence of semen for an extended period can cause its corruption, and turns it into a harmful toxin that the body cannot easily dispose of. However, sometimes, nature produces a spontaneous and involuntary emission of excess semen, usually during sleep, and without sexual intercourse. Some learned predecessors have concluded that the human being should pledge:

1. To walk at least a certain minimum distance every day. 2. To feed his stomach at regular intervals, and not to extend fasting from food beyond the religious requirement. 3. Not to abstain from having lawful sexual intercourse, for a water well drains out if its water if its not used regularly. Imam Muhammad ibn Zakariyya once said: "Abstaining from sexual intercourse for an extended period weakens ones nervous system, can cause obstruction of the urethra, and shrinks the penis." He added when he observed some people who vowed temporary abstention from sexual intercourse, that their sexual energy diminished, they suffered general weakness of their bodies, became doleful, lost their desire, and their digestive system became corrupt.

Hold on....Only Lawful Sex

Other benefits of lawful sexual intercourse include protecting ones eyes from looking at what is unlawful, preserving ones chastity, controlling ones desire and lust against what is unlawful, and providing the same for his or her spouse. This will certainly provide the believing man and woman with innumerable benefits in this world and in the hereafter. Imam Ahmad alluding to abstention from sex, once said: "I exercise patience when fasting from food and drink, though it is still difficult." He also reported in his collection of correct prophetic traditions that Allahs Messenger (SAW) encouraged the believers to get married, saying: "Get married, and conceive many children for I shall take pride in your number on the day of judgment." Ibn Abbass (RA) narrated that Allahs Messenger (SAW) said: "I get married, eat meat, sleep, stand up in night prayers, fast, and break my fast. Whoever disdains from my traditions (Sunnah) is not one of my followers."

He (SAW) also said: "O young men whoever among you has the means to establish a family, he should get married, for marriage preserves the chastity of ones eyes and sexual organ, and whoever cannot afford to establish a family, he must fast from desiring sex, for abstention in that case will protect him from sin." Ibn Abbass (RA) one said: "We recognize that marriage is the best solution for two people who are in love." It is also narrated in the two collections of correct prophetic traditions that Allahs Messenger (SAW) said: Allahs Messenger (SAW) also encouraged people to choose the young and fertile. On this subject, Muqal bin Yasar related that a man said to Allahs Messenger (SAW): "I found a beautiful woman from a noble family but she cannot bear children, should I marry her? Allahs Messenger (SAW) replied, "Nay." The man came back and asked a third time and asked the same question, Allahs Messenger (SAW) turned to his companions and said: "Choose in your wives the fertile and the affectionate, for I shall take pride in your number on the day of judgment."

Hmmm...So how about some Tips?

Imam al-Tirmithi narrated that Allahs Messenger (SAW) said: "It is among the traditions of Allahs Messengers to marry, to brush their teeth, to anoint themselves with perfume, and to be circumcised." Prior to engaging in sexual intercourse, it is necessary for the husband to express his affection and love for his wife by touching her, caressing her, kissing her, and sometimes sucking her tongue. Jabir bin Abdullah narrated that Allahs Messenger (SAW) enjoined upon a man not to engage in sexual intercourse before caressing his wife. It is also a prophetic tradition to take a complete ritual ablution (ghusl) after engaging in sexual intercourse and before retiring to sleep, and at least, to take a ritual ablution (wudu), should that man desire to reengage in sexual intercourse anew. Upon climax, the innate heat transfuses throughout the entire body, and by taking a complete ritual ablution, the water refreshes ones spirit, and ensures cleanliness and ritual purity. It also rejuvenates the bodys innate heat, musters its caloricity, and helps the gametogenous process. Almighty Allah (SWT) says: "Verily, We have created man from Nutfah drops of mixed semen (discharge of man and woman), in order to try him, so We made him hearer, seer. (Al-Insan 76:2)

More About Sex In Islam

Information taken from Questions and Answers About Women's Rights In Islam, Compiled by Lea Zaitoun

The Right to Adequate Sexual Relations Since the purpose of marriage is to be a mutual source of comfort, peace, and enjoyment for each other, like a garment that protects and covers, the sexual aspect of marriage is an extension of this. The husband is asked to be gentle, considerate and loving with his wife, and to try to satisfy her needs. The wife must reserve herself exclusively for her husband, and make efforts to be attractive, as well as making herself available to him whenever he is in need of her. This latter obligation also applies to the husband. In Islam, any sexual relations are reserved EXCLUSIVELY for the confines of marriage. Both husband and wife are also obligated to honor the privacy of the intimate relations between them, and should not speak of them to anyone.

The Prohibition of Sex when She is Menstruating It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. The Quran is clear on this subject: "They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina)" (Al-Baqarah 2:222)

The Prohibition of Sodomy Allah (SWT) will not look at the man who commits sodomy with a man or a woman (reported in Sahih Al-Tirmithi (Al-Baaniy) Vol. 1 No. 341). Malik related to me that he asked Ibn Shihab about someone who committed sodomy. Ibn Shihab said, "He is to be stoned, whether or not he is muhsan." (Reported in Maliks Muwatta) It is forbidden for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her anus. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran: "Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will,

and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow you pious offspring) before you for your ownselves. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers [O Muhammad (SAW)]. (Al-Baqarah 2:223) What is understood from the above verse is that a tilth can only refer to a place where something might grow. Therefore, what is meant here is the entry which produces children. Other sayings of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) on the subject: "He is cursed who has anal intercourse (with his wife)." (Reported by Ibin Maja) "Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or woman in her anus has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad (SAW)." (Reported by AlTirmithi) It can not be stressed too strongly that even animals do not satisfy their sexual urges in this unnatural way. Human beings who are guilty of sodomy are, thus, even lower than animals.

Purification between 2 acts of Sexual Intercourse In Islam, when a husband has had sexual intercourse with his wife in the legal manner, and then wishes to return another time, it is preferable that he first performs another ablution(wudu). Meaning: it is better if he does not commence sexual intercourse in an unclean physical state. In the words of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW): "This way is purer, cleaner and better." (Reported by Abu Dawud)

IS YOUR GHUSL CORRECT?

From The Waterval Islamic Institute CHECK THESE FACTS: ALL YOUR PRAYERS ARE INVALID IF YOUR GHUSL IS NOT CORRECT. CLEANLINESS IS HALF OF FAITH. HERE IS THE METHOD OF GHUSL ACCORDING TO SUNNAH. Before making Ghusl one should make Niyyah (intention) thus: - "I am performing Ghusl so as to become Paak." Without Niyyah, there is no Thawaab (reward) although Ghusl will be valid. Ghusl should be made in a place of total privacy and one should not face towards the Kiblah while making Ghusl. Ghusl may be performed standing or seated, preferably seated. Use sufficient water, don't skimp nor be wasteful. One should abstain from speaking while performing Ghusl. It is better not to read any Kalimah or Aayah while bathing. Be aware of these rules whilst making Ghusl.

PROCEDURE FOR PERFORMING GHUSL:

Wash both hands up to and including wrists.

Wash the private parts. The hands and private parts should be washed even if one is not in the state of Janaabat or Najaasat. If there is Najaasat elsewhere on the body, it should now be washed off. Perform Wudhu (Read separate pamphlet for Wudhu according to Sunnah). If making Ghusl on a stool or platform where water will rapidly flow away, and then perform the complete Wudhu. If there is fear of the feet being immersed in wastewater during the Ghusl then postpone the washing of the feet to the end of the Ghusl. Ensure that the mouth and nostrils are thoroughly rinsed thrice. After performing Wudhu, pour water over the head thrice, then pour thrice over right shoulder and thrice again over left shoulder. Now pour water over entire body and rub. If the hair of the head is not plaited, it is compulsory to wet all the hair up to the very base. If a single hair is left dry, Ghusl will not be valid. If the hair of a woman is plaited, she is excused from loosening her plaited hair, but it is compulsory for her to wet the base of each and every hair. If one fails to do this then the Ghusl will not be valid. As for men who grow long hair and plait them, they are NOT excused from leaving their hair dry. If a woman experiences difficulty or is unable to wet the very bottom of her plaited hair, then it is necessary for her to unplaite her hair and wash her entire head. It is Mustahab (preferable) to clean the body by rubbing it. All parts of the body should be rubbed with the hand so as to ensure that water has reached all parts of the body, and that no portion is left dry. Rings and earrings, etc. should be moved so as to ensure that no portion covered by them is left dry. Ensure that the navel and the ears are all wetted. If they are not wet Ghusl will be incomplete. On completion one should confine oneself to a clean place. If, while performing Wudhu, the feet had been washed, it is not necessary to wash them again. Dry the body with a clean towel, and dress as hastily as possible.

If, after Ghusl, one recalls that a certain portion of the body is left dry, it is not necessary to repeat the Ghusl, but merely wash the dry portion. It is not sufficient to pass a wet hand over the dry place. If one has forgotten to rinse the mouth or the nostrils, these too could be rinsed when recalled after Ghusl has been performed.

The three Faraa'ids (compulsory acts) of Ghusl are: To rinse the mouth in such a manner that water reaches the entire mouth. To rinse the nostrils up to the ending of the fleshy part. To completely wet the whole body. When one performs these Faraa'id intentionally or unintentionally Ghusl will be valid.

Female Circumcision: A Viewpoint by Mardiana Abu Bakar, a reporter with The Straits Times (The Sunday Times, Oct 30th '94) A horrendous picture of a 10 yr old Egyptian girl, Nagla, screaming in pain as a barber cuts off parts of her genitals has stuck in my mind. And I hope this picture will remain in many other minds too, and for a very long time.

The circumcision ceremony of Nagla was shown worldwide over Cable News Network (CNN) last month and it created an international furore. Let it be a reminder of the crime that should never be inflicted on daughters in the name of culture or misconceived religious injunctions. For it is precisely that combination of antiquated culture and distorted religious injunction that had brought about the unforgiving pain on Nagla and on many other young girls in the Middle East, Africa, and now with mass immigration, in Europe and North America. Nagla's pain will not end with that horrendous episode. She might haemorrhage and suffer severe infections that might lead to death. Even if she recovered, sex, which is a conjugal right within marriage, will be less a pleasure than a chore, and childbirth a battle with death. What is even more difficult for me to accept is the revelation by International Federation of Gynaecology and Obstetrics which met early this month, that every day, 5500 similar mutilations take place. Details of the rituals in these countries vary according to region and culture, but the basics are the same: between infancy and adulthood, all or part of a girl's external genitalia are cut away with knives or razor blades. The Federation therefore, moved that this mutilation ritual, euphamistically termed "female circumcision", be outlawed. As a woman and as a mother of a nine-year-old girl, I will vote 5500 times over if only I could wipe the practice off the face of this earth. I wept for the physical pain that Nagla must have been put through, the indignity of being held down by strong men, and the violation of her body. Which is why, as a Muslim woman, I find it outrageous that the practice has become associated closely with Islam in many minds. A colleague reacted to the picture by saying, "Why do Muslims do this to their daughters?" I am not sure how this association with Muslims came about. To begin with, the practice of female circumcision is encouraged, but not compulsory, according to three out of four main schools of thoughts of Islam. One the fourth pronounced it is a must. And even then, the spirit of the injunction is not to mutilate. As the Mufti of Singapore pointed out to me earlier this year, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) stated emphatically that female circumcision should be done "as minimally as possible". The Mufti declared that the practice of female circumcision in Singapore "involves cutting off a tiny part from the outer portion of the clitoris" - about 1mm to 3mm is snipped off the very top of the clitoris. Other parts of the geinitalia remain untouched, and the woman's sexuality is not put into any danger. Here too, the practice is carried out by a woman, a doctor or a midwife - in the privacy of a room, with the mother and the aunts in attendance. I am not an advocate of female circumcision: I belong to the school of thought that says this injunction is optional. But I think we should respect the choice of Muslims who choose to circumcise their daughters, so long as the practice remains true to the spirit of the Prophet's injunction, and that they protect their daughters' dignity and well-being.

Female Circumcision Is NOT Required by Islam

by Dr Hassan Hathout, a gynaecologist, a Board Member of the Minaret, a bimonthly magazine published by the Islamic Centre of Southern California 1. Female circumcision is a habit practised long before Isla. Its map of distribution does not coincide with the Islamic map, and includes parts of Russia, some Asian (uncluding some Arab) tribes, parts of South America and the Nile valley (Egypt, Sudan and Ethiopia). Female circumcision is still being practised by both Non-Muslims and Muslims in these countries. However, at present in Egypt and Sudan only Muslims practise it, (a minority in Egypt and more in Sudan). 2. Female circumcision is not an Islamic requirement. There is a hadith "circumcision is sunnah (obligatory) for men and charity (good deeds) for

women", but various sources do not consider it authentic. In another hadith, the Prophet (s.a.w.) instructed Omm Atiya, a woman practitioner of circumcision, "Take the minimum, Omm Atiya, and don;t exceed it, for this would be more pleasurable for the husband and protective of chastity by satisfying the wife's desire" (narrated by Ibn Majjah). This is taken to refer exclusively to the tribes of that time who would insist on the procedure, since Islam did not recommend or forbid female circumcision (same stand in Christianity and Judaism: both knew it). 3. Female circumcision is not practised in Islamic countries other than Egypt and Sudan and possibly exists in few others. Women of Mecca, Medina, Najd, the Persion Gulf, Iran, North Africa, Turkey, Iran, Pakistan, Syria, Lebanon, Palestine, etc are not circumcised. This is established fact as well as first hand knowledge I am a gynaecologist and I have dealt with all those nationalities. 4. Female circumcision does not diminish sexual desire, for this depends mainly on psychohormonal factors. All circumcision does it to make the woman less able to get satisfaction, and this is certainly a frequent cause of marital disharmony and problems. The major factor of chastity before marriage and fidelity within it remains to be the conscience and proper Islamic upbringing. There is no evidence whatsoever that moral standards in Islamic countries that do not have circumcision are lower than in Islamic countries that have it. 5. In view of this, it seems that there is no Islamic basis of making circumcision a requirement for women/Muslim converts or, for that matter, non-converts. Regarding the question on circumcision versus female genital mutilation: they are techinically one and the same. The degree is quite variable. In its most minor form it is trimming of labia minora. A higher degree is to add amputating part of the clitoris. The severest form, the one still practised in Sudan and called "infibulation", is wide removal of both labia minor and clitoris and sticking both sides together leaving only a small opening for the egress of urine and mestruation, and the entry of the penis at intercourse (sometimes against great difficulty necessitating surgery). Medicla complications are possible, including haemorrhage, sepsis, scarring, difficulty at childbirth which has to be tackled surgically, apart from the psychological aftermath. Male circumcision is a different story. It is definitely a sunnah (although not compulsory, fardh) and it takes after the convenant of Prophet Ibrahim (Prophet Abraham). It is clearly meant for males only and scriptural referance to it is the Torah, none in the Quran, but ofcourse in the teaching of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.). The Torah says, "And Abraham took Ishmael, his son, and all that were born at his house, and all that were bought with his money, every male among the men of Abraham's house and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin in the self-same day as God had said unto him" Genesis 17:22, see also Genesis 17:12. The fact that Christians (unlike Jews and Muslims) ceased to circumcise their boys, was not a decree of Christianity proclaimed by Jesus (a.s.). It was Paul who later exempted Christians from circumcision and permitted them to eat pig's meat. Jesus was circumcised and he did not eat pig's meat. Conclusion: Female circumcision is not required by Islam.

Can a husband take a picture of his wife whilst she is naked or film their bedroom relations?
Question: Is it permissible for a husband to take a picture of his wife whilst she is naked and vice versa? Also is it permissble for the husband and wife to take pictures of themselves or use a camcorder to record themselves having sexual intercourse, and thereafter look at the photos or watch the video?

Answer: In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, Regardless of the difference of opinion between the contemporary scholars about the ruling on photography, (even though, the position taken by virtually all scholars of the Indian Subcontinent and great Arab scholars is that photographs fall under the rubric of taswir (picture-making) of living creatures and humans, which has been explicitly forbidden in over 20 authentic hadiths, see: Reliance of the Traveller), the taking of nude pictures of the spouse or recording the act of sexual intercourse and thereafter viewing it cannot be considered permissible. There are few reasons for this: Firstly, it is disliked for the spouses to be completely naked during the act of sexual intercourse. Scholars mention, however, that although it is permissible for the spouses to look at any part of the partners body, it is disliked that they become completely naked. A cover or sheet over the naked bodies would be sufficient. Sayyida Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) said: I never saw the Messenger of Allahs (Allah bless him & give him peace) private parts. (Sunan Ibn Majah, no. 662). Secondly, to expose the naked body in front of a stranger is absolutely unlawful (haram) in that Shariah. Also, to give someone the opportunity to view ones nakedness (awra) in any way, shape or form is impermissible. By taking nude pictures of ones self or recording the act of sexual intercourse may give someone this opportunity. The pictures taken or the video tape could be misplaced and get into the hands of a stranger. One may lose the tape and it could be picked up by another person. Imagine, if the son or daughter of the couple involved got hold of the tape, what would their reaction be? The argument that the tape would be hidden and prevented from getting in to the hands of a third person is not valid for the simple reason that there is this possibility. Some unusual occurrence can transpire, thus it is possible for a third person to get hold of the tape. The well-established principle of Islamic jurisprudence states: Prevent evil before it actually happens. (sadd al-dharai). Thirdly, and finally, Islam is a religion of modesty. It does not approve of one stripping naked even when alone in a room, for Allah has a greater right that one should observe modesty before Him. Thus, it is necessary (wajib) in the Hanafi school, and highly recommended by others, to cover ones minimum nakedness [between navel and knee for both men and women] even when alone. [Haskafi, Durr al-Mukhtar; Ibn Nujaym, al-Bahr al-Raiq] The exception to this is when there is a need, such as taking a shower, relieving oneself, or changing ones clothes. Even in such situations, it is recommended to minimize the exposure. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: Modesty is of faith (iman). (Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim). Yala ibn Umayya reports that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: Verily Allah is modest and discreet and He likes modesty and

discretion. When one of you takes a bath, one should cover ones self. (Sunan Abu Dawud, Sunan NasaI & Musnad Ahmad). This is a command of recommendation when alone. Due to the above reasons, it would not be permissible for the spouses to take nude pictures or record the act of cohabitation. This is disregarding the fact that many scholars hold picture making and photography impermissible from the outset. And Allah knows best Answered by Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari of the Hanafi fiqh list.

Reading sexual advice

Question: I look for ways on the internet to have better and pleasurable sex with my wife. This does not include naked pictures at all, these are general discussions. I look for different sex positions. Am i being a pervert when i do this. Am i allowed to do research on such stuff. Sometimes i feel that i am too obssessed with having sex with my wife. I mean only my wife. I dont think about anybody else. I want to please her both sexually and morally. We both are trying hard all the time to be better practising muslims. Our only source of entertainment is visiting people and sex. We dont have TV in our house, we dont watch movies, We do go out to eat and parks. Play with our children. But thats it.

Answer: There is nothing wrong with sex. In fact, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) himself explained that one is rewarded for fulfilling ones desires in a lawful manner with ones spouse. It is permitted to read respectable discussions of sexual advice. The condition for the permissibility of reading such matters is that: a) The content not be of a perverse or inappropriate nature; b) One does not look at the unlawful; c) One does not think about that which is haram (such as individuals other than ones lawful spouse); and d) It does not lead one to do the haram (such as masturbate, even if later). Many medical sites have good material that does not contravene the first 2 conditions. The other two return to the individual.

The Human Soul

Allah swore by a long list of oaths in the Quran regarding the soul: 091.001 091.002 091.003 091.004 091.005 091.006 091.007 091.008 091.009 091.010 Shams] By the sun and his brightness, And the moon when she followeth him, And the day when it revealeth him, And the night when it enshroudeth him, And the heaven and Him Who built it, And the earth and Him Who spread it, And a soul and Him Who perfected it And inspired it with its wrong its right He is indeed successful who purifies it, And he is indeed a failure who stunts it. [Quran, Surat al-

Imam Sulaiman al-Jamal explains these last two verses in his Hashiyat al-Jalalayn [4.542] by stating that this success of the soul is by purifying it from bad deeds and being busied by good deeds; its failure, stunting, and abasement is through by sins. This is why the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, Fear Allah wherever you are; follow a bad deeds with a a good one and it will wipe it out; and deal with people with excellent character. [at-Tirmidhi, from Abu Dharr and Mu`adh ibn Jabal (Allah be pleased with them)] Abu Malik al-Ash`ari reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, Purity is half of belief. 'Praise be to Allah' fills up the balance, and 'Glory be to Allah and praise be to Allah' fills up everything between the heavens and the earth. The prayer is a light. Charity is a proof. Steadfastness is an illumination. The Qur'an is a proof for you or against you. Everybody goes out and trades with his own self, either setting it free or destroying it. [Muslim] And Allah alone gives success. Answered by Sidi Faraz Rabbani of the Hanafi fiqh list.

Question: An article appeared recently in the Times UK regarding capping the intake of muslim medical students due to their opposition of learning about abortion and venereal diseases. The article mentions:"Many of the students oppose abortion, while others have said that they would refuse to treat venereal diseases because they are a punishment for immorality." A group of muslim medical students at Manchester University are trying to raise awareness about the misconceptions behind these views. I was hoping maybe you could provide a short statement about the permissibility of at least learning about abortions

Can we learn about abortion and veneral diseases?

(due to their permissibility if the life of the mother is in danger) and also learning about and treating venereal diseases. Answer: Abortion and the termination of pregnancy is normally impermissible and contrary to the teachings of Shariah. However, it becomes permissible in certain compelling situations, as mentioned in detail in a recent post. Similarly, to perform this act on another person is also unlawful, as what is unlawful for oneself will also be unlawful to perform on another. Allah Most High says: And help one another in virtue and piety and do not help one another in sin and oppression(Surah al-Maidah). However, to acquire knowledge regarding the practice of abortion is permissible, as there are circumstances when abortion becomes permissible. It is also perfectly lawful to learn about venereal diseases, and to say that they are a punishment for immorality is incorrect. One may repent from his/her sin and become beloved in the eyes of the Almighty. Also, it is not necessary that all venereal diseases occur due to sinning or immorality. And Allah knows best. Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari of the Hanafi fiqh list.

Question: I have a question regarding the permissibilty of carrying out an abortion on babies with genetic diseases such as Cystic Fibrosis. Scientists can now actually determine at a stage (before 120 days) weather this child will suffer from CF. This disease bascially involves the child growing up and living to the age of tops 30 years (if Allah Wills) and during these years the accumulation of bacteria and virus in the lungs due to sticky mucus causes 24/7 treatment of drugs. They would suffer many hardships during their life including being looked after. We studied this at college, and i know in the previous, the question has been asked about abortion. But would it still be permissible to carry out an abortion on this child knowing they would have a very serious condition during their short life? Abortion in the sense before 120 days when the ruh is inserted. Answer: In Islm, abortion is primarily a prohibited sphere. However, as mentioned in an earlier post, prior to the period of four months (120 days) elapsing, it will become permissible if there is a legitimate and genuinely valid excuse. (Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar, 5/276). These excuses are of two types: 1) Those that affect the mother. For instance: a) The pregnancy constitutes a danger to the mothers physical health. b) It constitutes a danger to the mothers mental health. c) Pregnancy caused due to rape. d) If a pregnant woman is severely crippled or suffers from a serious mental illness and is in no position to care for herself, then, if it is possible to give the child for caring or adoption after it is born, abortion is out of

Abortion of babies with genetic diseases

the question. However, if no such arrangement can be made, then an abortion will be permissible. 2) Those that affect the unborn child Many contemporary scholars have stressed that if medical examination determines that the child will be born with severe disabilities or will be inflicted with genetic diseases that will cause him relentless pains, and will be an undue burden for the parents, it will be permissible to abort the foetus, provided the four months have not elapsed. This can be derived from the following text of Ibn Abidin: (al-Haskafis statement Abortion is permissible due to a valid reason), for example, the milk of the pregnant mother ceased, and the father of the child is not in a position financially to hire a wet-nurse, and there is a fear of the child perishing, then they (fuqaha) have stated that it will be permissible to abort the pregnancy, provided the period of 120 days have not elapsed. This is permissible, as the foetus is not as yet developed into a human, and by aborting it, we are saving a human life [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar, 5/276] The same has been stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, [4/112], which is one of the most important fatwa references in the Hanafi school, as Shaykh Mustafa Zarqa mentions in his Madkhal. However, it should be remembered here that there should be a certain danger and risk about this. Mere doubts will not justify abortion. Also, it must be advised by a qualified, God-fearing Muslim doctor. It would be better if this is decided by a team of specialists, rather than just the one person. One should consult with a reliable scholar to confirm the particulars of ones case, for caution should be should in all matters related to the lawful and unlawful. And Allah knows best. Answered by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari of the Hanafi fiqh list.

Is In Vitro Fertilization Allowed?

Question: I have a question regarding the Islamic perspective on infertility treatments. Many couples these days are having trouble bearing children and going through the emotional roller coaster that comes with infertility. Of course the first step is to pray to Allah (swt) for his mercy. In addition to prayers there are medical treatments such as IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) that are available. These treatments involve taking drugs and fertilization outside of the womb. Since many couples are going through infertility, we would like to know what Islam says about IVF. Please can you let us know if you have any advice or information. Jazak Allah Answer: In the name of Allah, the inspirer of truth. All praise is to Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate, and all blessings and peace to our Master Muhammad, his family, companions, and those who follow them.

The Islamic Fiqh Academy, and other bodies, including Al-Azhar's Fatwa Committee, have studied this matter at length. They concluded that artificial insemination is permitted, as long as only the husband and wife are reproductively involved. This is permitted whether the fertilization itself occurs inside or outside the woman. It is not permitted to use third party ('donor') sperm or eggs, even when either spouse is infertile. They stressed that one should ensure that such procedures are carried out in a safe way, for obvious reasons. Some of the scholars emphasize, too, that such procedures should only be used when normal means prove ineffective. It is important, in the end, to remember that while we have been commanded by Allah Most High to take all permitted means, we have also been commanded to believe that means themselves do not have an effect; only Allah does. And Allah knows best. Answered by Sidi Faraz Rabbani of the Hanafi fiqh list.

Masturbation
Question: Is masturbation haram? The reason im asking this cuz i have so many friends they some says its haram some says its a natural thing . Its keep you away from bad deeds.. My second question is If Someone is Fasting and he gets horny some how "as u know sexual urges are natural and come and go ". So doing masterbating while on fasting is it bad or it doenst matter ? some ppl say it doenst matter cuz its a natural thing , some says its matter your fast broke if u do the masterbation ??

Answer: 1. The fiqh regarding masturbation may be found below. 2. The very meaning of Islam is submission: we submit our bodies, hearts, minds, and souls to Allah Most High, out of thankfulness for the blessing and lifegiving light of His religion. Allah tests our slavehood. Many people have 'natural' tendencies and urges towards that which Allah has declared unlawful. This is our test with Allah Most High. Allah Most High said in the Qur'an, "And the soul and He who perfected it And inspired it (with conscience of) what is wrong and right for it. He is indeed successful who purifies it, And he is indeed a failure who stunts it." [Qur'an, 91:9-10]

The Ruling on Masturbation: Prohibitively Disliked & Sinful

Masturbation is sinful, being prohibitively disliked, because of its many personal and societal ill-effects that are known and recognised in sane traditional societies and by balanced people the world over. As for modern 'expert' opinions that there is 'nothing wrong with it,' these are the opinions of the same people who see nothing wrong with fornication, nudity, and most other personal and social depravity. The early Muslims used to say, "The one who weds his hand is accursed." (Fath al-Qadir) Its prohibition was established by Allah Most High's words, "Those who guard their private parts, except from their spouses..." [Qur'an, 23: 5] Thus, the general ruling regarding sexual activity is that it is impermissible, except through the particular channel that Allah permitted, out of His tremendous wisdom and mercy for His creation. The rulings of the Shariah are for the worldly and eternal benefit of humanity, as a manifestation of the tremendous mercy of Allah, for Allah Himself is absolutely free of any need. Rather, it is we who need guidance, to give true joy and illumination to our lives in this world and the next. So, When Could Masturbation Possibly Be Allowed? Masturbation is only allowed in the very rare situation where:

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if the person did not do this, they genuinely fear that they would fall into actual zina (i.e. unlawful sexual intercourse), because of their uncontrollable desire, and they are unable to marry, and have taken all reasonable means to lessen their passion (such as fasting, lowering their gaze, avoiding meat and dairy products, avoiing those things that stir their desires, such as bad company, spending unnecessary time outdoors, especially in public places such as shopping malls where there is fitna, avoiding watching tv and surfing the internet, etc).

In such cases, it is not haram because of the principle that, "If there are only two options, but harmful, then one takes the lesser of the two harms to avoid the greater one." However, when there are third options, it remains impermissible to take the lesser harm, such as masturbation. Even when the conditions outlined above are met, it would only not be impermissible to the extent necessary to quieten one's sexual desire, not for sexual gratification. Otherwise, it would remain sinful. These conditions are extremely rare. [derived from: Ibn Abidin's Hashiya, al-Lakhnawi's Naf` al-Mufti wa'l Sa'il, and alNahlawi's Durar al-Mubaha, Kamal ibn al-Humam's Fath al-Qadir]

As for the fast: masturbation that leads to ejaculation invalidates the fast. And Allah knows best. Answered by Sidi Faraz Rabbani of the Hanafi fiqh list.
[Sidi Faraz Rabbani is a student of Hanafi fiqh based in Amman, Jordan. He is originally from Toronto, Canada. He has upcoming translations in Hanafi fiqh, including "Ilm al-Hal: An Essential Hanafi Primer" and Imam al-Shurunbulali's "Ascent to Felicity" (Maraqi al-Sa`adat). He also teaches Hanafi fiqh texts to students in Arabic and in English.]

Question: Shaykh Yusuf Qaradawi in "The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam" writes that Imam Ahmad (Allah be well pleased with him) regarded semen as an excretion of the body like other excreta and permitted its expulsion as blood letting is permitted. However, Shaykh Yusuf then goes on to say that Hanbali jurists permit masturbation only under two conditions: first, the fear of committing fornication or adultery, and second, not having the means to marry. This begs the question...Is masturbation permissable in the Hanbali madhhab, and if so, is it qualified by any conditions? Answer: Before talking about the issue of masturbation, it is appropriate to first mention the rulings regarding people getting married. [Marriage in general] In general, people fall under three categories: (1) recommended (sunna)-- for those who feel sexual desire (shahwah) but do not fear that this will drive them to fornicate. This is applies to males and females alike, and even to men too poor to be able to provide for maintenance and upkeep. This is an opinion stated by Imam Ahmad (Allah be pleased with him). It is better for someone who has sexual desire to be busy with marriage than seeking seclusion for works of worship. (2) obligatory (wajib)-- for those who fear that they will fornicate if they do not marry, whether male or female. The person does not have to be certain that they will fornicate, rather it suffices that they fear that they may if they do not marry. When someone in this situation must choose between making Hajj or marriage, marriage is given precedence to the Hajj because of the fear that by one will commit the unlawful by delaying marriage. (3) permissible (mubah)-- for someone who does not feel sexual desire, whether this has always been the case or their desire has left due to sickness or old age. [Dar Al-Harb] In addition, marriage is haram in Dar Al-Harb unless there is legal necessity (durura). Legal necessity is defined as that the one's religion, life, mind, family & reputation, or property require it. It does not include that which removes

difficulty from the above, which is called need (hajja), or that which makes the above nicer, which is luxury (tahsini). In Dar Al-Harb it is permissible to marry when there is legal necessity. If someone marries in Dar Al-Harb while it is unlawful for him to do so, it is obligatory for to use some form of birth control; otherwise, it is recommended to do so. [Masturbation] Regarding the position of the Hanbali madhhab regarding masturbation, Kashshaf Al-Qina` (6:125) indicates that whoever masturbates out of fear of committing fornication or fear for their body has done nothing wrong and is not punished if (and only if) he is unable to marry--even a slave girl--and if he was able to marry it is unlawful and he is entitled to punishment. This applies to men and women equally. The reason given is out of necessity (durara), which was mentioned above. Please note that one of the conditions is that the person in question not even be able to marry a slave girl who is someone else's property, which means that any children would be born into slavery. What is significant here is that having your children born slaves is better than masturbation. This is not a light matter. Also please note that provided there is someone that one could marry, masturbation is unlawful. No where does it say that the spouse has to be from the same culture, has to be a perfect match, or anything like that. As long as there is an upright marriageable Muslim it is unlawful, and if not punished in this world it surely is in the next. It goes back to availability, not economic stability, diploma, beauty, hair color, nationality, ethnicity or cultural origins. There are a lot of people who mix up necessity, need and luxury. This ruling is about necessity. In closing, we know that divorce is the most despicable of lawful things to Allah, whereas fornication is haram. Parents should keep this in mind before putting so many conditions that must be met before marriage, especially since anything that leads to the unlawful is itself unlawful. And Allah knows best. Answered by Sidi Musa Furber of the Hanbali fiqh list.

Mututal masturbation between spouses

Question: Is a wife permitted to masturbate her husband and her husband permitted to masturbate her? Answer: In the name of Allah, the inspirer of truth. All praise is to Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate, and all blessings and peace to our Master Muhammad, his family, companions, and those who follow them.

Ibn Abidin clearly states the permissibility of mutual masturbation between the husband and the wife, quoting the Miraj al-Diraya as saying And it is permitted to masturbate with the hand of ones wife. However, elsewhere in al-Durr alMukhtar (upon which Ibn Abidin is commenting) Imam al-Haskafi quotes the Jawhara al-Nayyara as saying It is disliked if one enables ones wife to play with ones penis such that it results in ejaculation. Ibn Abidin explains that the dislike here must mean, at most, somewhat disliked (makruh tanzihan) so it does not negate what ibn Abidin quoted earlier from Miraj al-Diraya concerning the lawfulness of this act. Ibn Abidin further explains the difference between this and masturbating with ones own hand, which is clearly forbidden except in exceptional circumstances, as being that in the former one is satisfying oneself with that which is permissible to gain satisfaction from, namely a part of ones spouse all of whom one is permitted to seek sexual satisfaction from, whereas in the later one is not. He adds that therefore just as masturbating with ones hand is forbidden so is masturbating with ones own thigh or a wall or any other object. Based on this reasoning and the explicit text mentioned above concerning the permissibility of a man masturbating with his wifes hand it can be concluded that the reverse is also permissible, namely the wifes masturbating with the husbands hand. [Radd al-Muhtar, 2:400, 4:28, al-Ilmiyya] Answered by Sidi Faraz Rabbani of the Hanafi fiqh list.

Advice for one who wakes up masturbating

Question: I had a sister come to me yesterday in great distress. She confessed that she finds herself masturbating and is not sure what to do to stop. When she was younger she said that she had heard it was permissble to stay away from zina - (so how she started) - however growing and learning more she said she sincerely repented and asked Allah to keep her on the straight path. This sister prays 5 times a day and is well respected. Her problem now is that she wakes up sometimes in the night in this (maturbating) state. She said she stops as soon as she realizes what she is doing. Her confusion is that she is not doing it intentionally. She was wondering how a one would know if a "Jinn" was touching her or "making her do" such things which she does not want to do and sincerely keeps asking Allah for guidance and forgiveness. Answer: This may be an additiction or result of emotional strain. The person involved should review her own history and see when she started masturbatng and from that time till the present see exactly under what conditions, states, etc, she normally finds herself masturbating. I think then from there we can move forward to narrowing down what we might advise. Secondly, a jinn could be involved. But if she:

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is punctual with her prayers, avoids major sins, and watches what she eats, drinks, and wears to make sure they are 'halal' and sharia permissible,

...then these activities will act as shields for her. It will be of great benefit to recite:

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Ayat al-Kursi (Quran, 2: 255), and bismillah irrahman irrahim, bismillahi khairi il asma'i, bismillah illadhi la yadhurru ma' ismihi shayyun fil ardhi wa la fis samai' wa huwa ssami'ul aleem ['In the name of Allah the Merciful and Compassionate. In the name of Allah, the Best of Names. In the name of Allah, with whose name nothing in the earth or sky may cause harm, and He is the Hearing and Knowing']

...3 times after praying fajr and after praying maghrib. My shaykh gave me this general wazifa which he himself reads. And Allah knows best. Answered by Sidi Naeem AbdulWali of the Hanafi fiqh list.

Masturbating to avoid pornography

Question: I am visiting USA these days and want to find out a few things. I am away from my family for some time now. The nature of my job is that I am on the internet most of the time. Now during my browsing and looking for different things on the internet, there are a lot of pop up advertisements that come up, and these are mostly half naked women, or about dream resorts etc. Sometimes ladies invite to view their web cams. All this i have been restraining my self due to the fear of Allah, but sometimes Shaitan takes over and i do visit these sites. Then suddenly i realize that i am not doing the right thing. Sometimes I feel the extreme urge to have sex with my wife. Is masturbation allowed under these circumstances, i mean this will stop me from seeing naked pictures. It will stop me from the zina of eyes.

Answer: This is a false dichotomy: masturbation, which is strongly prohibited, is not the solution to looking at the unlawful. Rather, the simple solution is that you have to stop looking at such things. If you know something about computers, there are many ways to prevent such images from appearing.

Whenever a bad thought occurs to you: a) seek Allahs forgiveness [saying, Astaghfirullah (I seek Allahs forgiveness)]; b) seek protection from the Shaytan [saying, A`udhu billahi min ash-shaytan arrajeem (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytan)] c) cut out the things that result in that bad though immediately [e.g. shut the window with such images] d) then thank Allah, wholeheartedly, for enabling you to overcome your desires and shaytan [saying, Alhamdulillah (All praise is due to Allah)]; this makes Shaytan despair, and strengthens ones resolve. If you keep erring, keep repeating these 4 quick and simple steps, and making dua with your prayers that Allah protect you. If you keep turning to Allah sincerely, Hell accept your entreating, and free you of these problems. Allah Most High has promised, As for those who strive in Us, We surely guide them to Our paths, and lo! Allah is with the good. [Quran, 29.69] And Allah knows best. Answered by Sidi Faraz Rabbani of the Hanafi fiqh list.

Drinking one's wife's milk, during foreplay or intercourse

Question: A husband is allowed to take pleasure form any part of his wife body including her breasts. I am aware if he sucks his wife breasts there is no harm in that, but he is not allowed to take any milk in his mouth. I understand that if he does by accident, nikah is still valid according to the Hanafi School, (as some scholars believe nikah is terminated), but some deobandi say it is haram to take milk in. Someone said that even if one takes milk in accidentally, how could it be haram, for milk is pure and not najis like sperm. Could you explain if on takes his wife milk accidentally, if it is makruh tanzihi or makruh tahrimi or haram? Answer: The husband is not permitted to drink his wifes milk because, in the words of imam al-Haskafi in al-Durr al-Mukhtar, quoting Sharh al-Wahbaniyya, It is a part of a human being and to make use of it without a real need to do so is Haram. [Radd al-Muhtar, 3:212, Dar al-Kutub al-Ilmiyya]. This a general rule in the sacred law: No part of a human being may be sold or used for nourishment or other deriving of benefit (intifa), beyond that which the Saced Law has permitted. The babys drinking the mothers milk is an exception, based on textual permission, due to the real need (durura) to do so. And Allah knows best. Answered by Sidi Faraz Rabbani of the Hanafi fiqh list.

Oral Sex
Is oral sex permitted? Books of fiqh tend to be quite dry when it comes to bedroom behavior. What you usually find is in the form "everything is permissible, except for x, y, and z" instead of a detailed checklist of things to try if you wish. While the traditional approach of generality is fine as a teaching tool for students of knowledge who would be asked specific questions, it is less effective when laymen have no one to ask, when the only people available to ask mean well and know a bit more than the questioner but are laymen themselves, or when laymen go to the books directly. So, since the issue of oral sex is frequently asked it seems necessary to give a general answer. I apologize that the questioner is going to get less and more than he originally asked for. The basic list of things that are unlawful between husband and wife include: Anal sex Sex during menstruation and nifas Sex that would be harmful or prolong recovery from an illness

When books talks about what is lawful, they typically mention that a husband and wife may pleasure one another in any way they wish other than the above mentioned things. Although not specific to sex, we can add the following: Swallowing filth Needlessly getting filthy These things are obvious.

Regarding the issue of oral sex, if it can be done in such a way that no filth is involved, then from the perspective of lawful and prohibited it in and of itself would be considered lawful. But the term "oral sex" covers a wide range of activities, and there are differences between the various schools of fiqh regarding the purity and filth of bodily fluids, namely: sperm and vaginal secretions; there seems to be agreement among the Hanafis, Shafi`is, and Hanbalis that pre-ejaculatory fluid is filthy. Something that entirely escapes the problem of filth is a man kissing the outer parts of his wife's genitals and sucking her clitoris. The first is mentioned in many books of Hanbali fiqh, saying that it is permissible before penetration and offensive after; and to clarify: the issue mentioned is not restricted to the outer parts. The second is mentioned in the Shafi`i work Fath Al-Mu`in and its meta-commentary `Iyanat Al-Talibin. For further reference, look through the index of the book of marriage for the sections concerning looking at members of the opposite sex and the sections conerning bedroom behavior . Based on the basic guidelines above and based on the example of a man kissing his wife's genitals, it should also be lawful for a wife to kiss her husband's penis as long as she avoids any areas where there is pre-ejaculatory fluid. But what Westerners usually have in mind when they talk about oral sex are fellatio and cunnilingus. Regarding pre-ejaculatory fluid, the only opinion I have ever seen is that it is haram. Additionally, even though the Shafi`is and Hanbali schools both consider sperm to be pure, they both agree that it is unlawful to swallow. This makes fellatio very highly likely to be unlawful. I suppose an enthusiastic couple could always use a condom.

As for cunnilingus: there are differences of opinion regarding whether or not vaginal secretions are pure or filthy, before and after penetration, and depending on where they are secreted from. Because of this, it is best avoided. Should a couple decide to perform these acts, they must be sure to rinse out their mouths afterwards. This is something they should be doing in any case, and it is an essential part of purification for Hanbalis. For added benefit and so we don't need to repeat this topic again: Hanbali books mention that it is lawful for a husband to achieve ejaculation by his wife masturbating him, and by rubbing his penis between her thighs or breasts. They also mention that while anal sex is absolutely unlawful, it is lawful to place a finger on the anus as long as it does not penetrate. One of the reasons for mentioning these detailed examples is to show that they were not unknown to the scholars, and in sha Allah to add strength to the idea that the general rulings mentioned in the books are sufficient for working out these detailed cases. Up to here the topic concerns the lawful and the prohibited. But this issue is a completely separate from whether these acts should be done, and whether one spouse can compel the other one to do them. When I asked my sheikh about these very issues he pointed out that while each spouse is responsible to provide for the other spouse's sexual needs and to keep them chaste, it is absolutely unlawful to abuse one another, mentally or physically. He also points out that Allah Most High in the Qur'an orders husband and wife to act amicably and well towards one another, and one needlessly forcing the other to do something--even when they have the right to demand it--goes against this principle. I once asked whether or not it was disobedience [nushuz] if husband demanded fellatio from his and she refused. His answer was that she is ordered to submit herself to him for intercourse: something she has not denied him here. Even if people find this whole topic disgusting in practice, we should take note that the example given in the books is one where it is the wife who receives physical pleasure, not the husband, and that the location mentioned is the one most likely to bring about an orgasm. So much for the idea that Islam totally ignores the sexual needs of women, rendering them as little more than house keepers and sex toys for the husband's every whim. That the example of oral sex in fiqh books is for her pleasure and satisfaction should not go unnoticed. And Allah knows best. Answered by Sidi Musa Furber of the Hanbali Fiqh list

Is Family Planning allowed in Islam?

by Jamaal Zarabozo The question of family planning and birth control was discussed in detail by the Majma al-Fiqh al-Islaami. They had twenty three scholars research this topic and present their findings on this matter. The participants involved represented many different trends and schools of thought. Among the participants were Muhammad Ali al-Baar, Ali al-Saaloos, Muhammad Saeed Ramadhan al-Booti, Abdullah al-Basaam, Hasan Hathoot and Muhammad Sayid Tantaawi. Their proceedings, papers and discussions may be found in Part One of the Fifth Volume of Majallah Majma al-Fiqh al-Islaami (1988/1409 A.H.). These proceedings are 748 pages all about the question of birth control and related issues.

The following are important points related to the issue of birth control in Islam. These were mentioned by some of the participants in the above program: The institution of marriage and the want to have children was the custom of the best of creation, the prophets and messengers chosen by Allah. Allah says about them "And indeed We sent messengers before you and made for them wives and offspring" (al-Raad 38) The best example for the believers is the example of the prophet Muhammad (saw), who married and had children. These prophets and messengers are the people whom Muslims should look to emulate. Allah says "They are those whom Allah has guided. So follow their guidance" (al-Anaam 90) They should be emulated and not the disbelievers of the West, whose new lifestyles mostly out of concern for enjoying this life or obtaining as many worldly goods as possible - discourage women from having more children. Islam has forbidden celibacy, monasticism and castration for such purposes. The prophet (saw) made this clear when he told those companions who were considering acetic forms of life:"I pray and I sleep; I fast and I break my fast; and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my way of life is not from me." The prophet (saw) not only encouraged marriage but he encouraged marrying those women who are child-bearing. He stated: "marry the loving, child-bearing women for I shall have the largest numbers among the prophets on the day of Resurrection."(Recorded by Ahmad and ibn Hibban.) From the Islamic perspective, children are a gift and a blessing from Allah. Allah mentions some of the bounties that He has bestowed upon mankind in the following verse: "And Allah has made for you spouses of your own kind and has made for you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed upon you good provisions." (al-Nahl 72) Allah also said: "Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world." (al-Kahf 46) The only true provider for all mankind is Allah. If Muslims follow what Allah has prescribed for them, Allah will provide for them. Allah has warned about killing one's children out of fear of poverty for either parents or the child. Allah says: "Kill not your children because of poverty - We provide sustenance for you and for them" (alAnaam 151) Allah also says: "And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We shall provide for them as well as for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin" (al-Isra 31) Hence, Muslims should never abort or kill their children out of fear of poverty. It is Allah who provides for them. Based on the above points and numerous others, the scholars who participated in the research on this question came up with the following resolution:

It is not allowed to enact a general law that limits the freedom of spouses in having children. It is forbidden to "permanently" end a man's or a woman's ability to produce children, such as by having a hysterectomy or vasectomy, as long as that is not called for by circumstances of necessity according to its Islamic framework. It is permissible to control the timing of births with the intent of distancing the occurrences of pregnancy or to delay it for a specific amount of time, if there is some Shariah need for that in the opinion of the spouses, based on mutual consultation and agreement between them. However, this is conditioned by that not leading to any harm, by it being done by means that are approved in the Shariah and that it not do anything to oppose a current and existing pregnancy. By Wahiduddin Khan in this book, "Woman between Islam and Western Society" A tourist on a visit to America was sitting in a club during a dance, when he was suddenly approached by an American girl who said to him, quite sadly, "Mr. Tourist, don't I have any glamour?" "Why ofcourse you do," replied the tourist. "Then why don't the boys date me?" the girl asked. "Dating" in western countries refers to the social custom of boys inviting girls [or vice versa] to go out somewhere with them. In this way, boys and girls become acquainted with each other before marriage [or without the intention of a long-term relationship or marriage] This practice has become so common that a girl who is not "dated" by one or more boys begins to feel herself of inferior value on the marriage market. In former times, dating as a system of courtship, was confined to meetings during which conversation could take place. But then the moral climate changed so much that such meetings became occasions for sexual intimacy. The most recent development is to "date" a girl and then forcibly have sex with her - in fact, rape her. TIME magazine has published a revealing report entitled, "When the Date Turns to Rape": Susan, now 22 and a college senior, was raped almost 3 years ago on a first date. She met the man in a cafeteria at summer school and went to his dorm that evening to watch television news and get acquainted. After 45 minutes of chit chat about national affairs, he began pawing and kissing her, ignoring her please to stop. "YOU REALLY DON'T WANT ME TO STOP," he said, and forced her to have sex. TIME, March 23rd, 1987 TIME's report shows how common 'date-rape' has become. "Date rape," according to some researchers, is a major social problem so far studied mostly through surveys of college students. In a three-year study of 6,200 males and female students on 32 campuses, Kentucky State psychologist Mary Koss found that 15% of all women reported experiences that met legal definitions of forcible rape. More than half those cases were date rapes. Andrea Parrot, a lecturer at Cornell University, estimates that 20% of college women at two campuses she surveyed had been forced into sex during their college years or before, and most of these incidents were date rapes. The number of forcible rapes reported each year - 87, 240 in 1985 - is believed to be about half the total actually committed. Says Koss: "You're alot more likely to be raped by a date than by a stranger jumping out of the bushes."

DATE RAPE

Some feminists argue that the U.S. has a "rape culture" in which males are encouraged to treat women aggressively and women are trained to submit. (TIME, March 23rd, 1987, pg. 35) Mr. Sri Prakash, former governor of Maharashtra, and India's first High Commissioner in Pakistan, mentions in his memoirs that in 1947 he once asked an Englishman why his countrymen had such a low opinion of Indians. One of the things which the Englishman cited was the number of restrictions there were regarding marriage, which was totally alien to the European concept of the boy and girl choosing one another and then getting married. He obviously despised the "social shackles" which prevented this from happening in India. When women's liberation was launched, the demolishing of such "social shackles" seemed a very attractive idea. But when the lifting of restrictions on the degree of intimacy which could develop between the opposite sexes began to lead with increasing frequency to rape, the pendulum of opinion began to swing back nd forth in favour of traditional restrictions as being the healthiest social principles to follow. It has become all too obvious that the path of sexual freedom can lead society only to its own destruction.

Reproductive Issues
Author Unknown

A- Fertility Regulation

Contraception Islam permits contraception as long as it does not entail the radical separation between marriage and its reproductive function. Since the time of the prophet contraception has been practiced, but he made it clear that it should be a joint decision between husband and wife. The general recommendation is for the Islamic nation to procreate and grow in numbers, but quality and not sheer numbers was well emphasized by Mohammad. One of his very prophetic sayings was: "There will come the day when other nations will fall upon you like hungry eaters upon a bowl of food." When asked whether this would be due to lack of numbers he said "No. On that day you will be so many, but (quality wise) like the froth on the surface of the torrent." Throughout Islamic history jurists permitted family planning for a number of reasons: health, socio-economics, etc. up to merely preserving the beauty of the woman's body. Both natural and medicinal methods of contraception are acceptable, provided the method is not harmful and does not work as an abortifacient. Family planning should be the choice of the individual family without coercion or pressure. Countries that adopt a population policy may resort to wide campaigns of education to ensure the accessibility of contraceptive technology, but the decision rests with the family. Reservations about population programs designed by Western countries for the Third World were referred to earlier. There is a consciousness about a "demographic warfare" to strip populations of their sheer power of numbers or to reduce majorities to minorities in some areas. There is also alarm about contraceptive material banned from use in their (Western) countries of origin while at the same time they are abundantly exported to Islamic and Third World countries, compromising on safety standards. More investment in developing resources and a willingness to transfer necessary technology on part of the West remains to be seen. Breast Feeding This has a prominent place in Islamic teaching. As a family planning method it is not a reliable prescription for the individual family; but it has been estimated on a group (collective) basis to be a more potent contraceptive than all other methods

put together, measured by the drop in fertility rate in a community of suckling women. The Quran mentions breast feeding and recommends that its natural course is the span of two years. In Islam, however, breast feeding is more than a nutritional (or family planning) process. It is a "value" and a special bond, so much so that a woman other than the natural mother who breast feeds an infant acquires a special status in Islamic law which is called "suckling parenthood", and this woman is called the infant's "mother in lactation". To accentuate its value, "lactation motherhood" is given the status of natural motherhood in certain legal rulings concerning marriage. The result is that such a mother's natural children are considered "lactation siblings" of the nursed infant, who therefore may not marry any of them. The Intra-uterine Device If the device acted to cause abortion it would not be acceptable. Its action, however, was explained on the basis of preventing implantation. The current generations of the device contain a copper wire that releases spermicidal copper ions, or include the hormone progesterone that thickens the mucus in the canal of the womb so it cannot be penetrated by sperm. Both actions put the device in the category of contraception and not abortion. This was confirmed by a release from the World Health Organization Abortion There are no "pro-life" and "pro-choice" lobbies in Islamic communities, with a raging battle such as takes place in America. Islam views abortion very differently from contraception, since the former entails the violation of a human life. The question that naturally arises is whether the term "human life" includes the life of the fetus in the womb. According to Islamic jurisprudence it does. Islam accords the fetus the status of "incomplete zimma". Zimma is the legal regard that allows rights and duties, and that of the fetus is incomplete in the sense that it has rights but owes no duties. Some of these rights of the fetus are: (a) If a husband dies while his wife is pregnant, the law of inheritance recognizes the fetus as an inheritor if borne alive. Other inheritors would receive their shares in accordance with the prescribed juridical proportions, but only after the share of the unborn is set aside to await its birth. (b) If a fetus is miscarried at any stage of pregnancy and shows signs of life such as a cough or movement and then it dies, such fetus has the right to inherit anything it was legally entitled to inherit from anyone who died after the beginning of the pregnancy. After this fetus dies, what it has inherited is inherited in turns by its legal heirs. (c) If a woman commits a crime punishable by death and is proven pregnant, then the execution of the punishment shall be postponed until she gives birth and nurses her baby until it is weaned. This applies irrespective of the duration of the pregnancy, however early, denoting the right of the fetus to life from its beginning. It applies even if the pregnancy was illegitimate, which shows that the fetus conceived out of wedlock also has the right to life. All sects and juridical schools unanimously uphold this ruling. There is also a money penalty for abortion even if it was inadvertent. This is called the "ghorra". If aggression or willful action causes abortion, suitable punishment by the court is also imposed. The question of the beginning of life has been discussed since early times, since the admissibility of abortion hinged around the existence of life (some old jurists permitted abortion before four months, others before seven weeks, of pregnancy, on the assumption that life had not started in the pregnancy.) Some ten centuries ago, a notable scholar called Al-Ghazali rightly described a phase of imperceptible life, before the phase that the mother could feel in the form of fetal quickening. Recent juridical congresses reviewed the subject taking into account the applications of modern technology, and concluded that the stage of an individual's life that can be called its beginning should satisfy ALL the following criteria: (1) it should be a clear and well-defined event; (2) it should exhibit the cardinal

feature of life: growth; (3) if this growth is not interrupted, it will naturally lead up to the subsequent stages of life as we know them; (4) it contains the genetic pattern that is characteristic of the human race at large, and also of a unique specific individual; and (5) it is not preceded by any other phase which combines the first four. Obviously, these postulates refer to fertilization. Abortion, however, is permitted if the continuation of pregnancy poses a threat on the mother. The Shari'a considers the mother to be the root and the fetus to be the offshoot; the latter to be sacrificed if this is necessary to save the former. There are some arguments also in favor of expanding the admissibility of abortion to cover drastic cases of congenital anomalies and fetal illness incompatible with feasible life if performed before pregnancy is four months. Sterilization Unless done for a clear medical indication this operation is generally frowned upon. It is permitted, however, for women with a reasonable number of children and who are approaching the end of their reproductive life. Voluntary and informed consent should be given by both the husband and wife, giving no promises of a guaranteed successful reversal of the operation if they later change their mind. No government policy should pressure people into undergoing sterilization. The doctor has the right to decline performing the operation if not convinced that it is in the best interests of the patient.

B- Treatment of Infertility

The pursuit of pregnancy is legitimate and individuals may resort to the necessary means provided they do not violate the Shari'a. Artificial Insemination This is permissible only if the sperm belongs to the husband (AIH). Donor's semen (AID) may not be used since procreation is legitimate only within the marriage contract and the elements (the couple) that are party to it. In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) This technology, commonly known as the test tube baby technology, is Islamically acceptable as long as it is between husband and wife, ie. within the boundaries of the marriage contract. The marriage contract should be valid and live. Since divorce or widowhood bring the marriage contract to a conclusion and they are then no more husband and wife, it follows that a woman may not be impregnated by the sperm of her ex-husband kept in deep freeze in a semen bank. Intervention of a third party other than husband and wife and the bearers of their genetic material (sperm and ovum) is not permissible because this would be an intrusion into the marriage contract binding the pair. "Alien sperm," or an "alien egg", or an "alien womb" (to carry a couple's embryo) is not allowed. Surrogate Motherhood Surrogate Motherhood, where a woman carries in her womb the fetus of another couple, is absolutely unacceptable to Islam. It results in the dichotomy of motherhood into genetic and biologic whereas these should be one. It also entails a pregnancy outside the legitimacy of a marriage contract. Competition between the two mothers (!) has led to legal and other problems in America. A contract deciding the fate of the baby is certainly dehumanizing as it treats the baby as a commodity. The implications might prove to be far reaching since the human female for the first time in history is willingly going into a full pregnancy (and delivery) with the prior intent to give away the baby. Because this is done, in the majority of cases, for a negotiated price, it reduces "motherhood" from a "value"

to a price. If this becomes established practice, the long term effects on intergenerational bonds will be devastating.

Flirtation and Love Affairs

by Asif Iftikhar Question: A friend of mine has a realtionship with this girl in Pakistan. They have a completely non-physical relationship, but they depend a lot on each other and also express their feelings every now and then. He wants to know if this is wrong or not, and, if it is, how should he cut off with her as there is a lot of emotional dependence involved? Answer: It is not unnatural to have feelings for a member of the opposite sex. However, there are certain things that must be given consideration in expressing those feelings. First of all, there should be nothing immoral or indecent in the feelings or their expression. Secondly, there should be nothing against the good norms of society (2:235, especially note the words Qawlan marufan). Furthermore, there are situations in which it is advisable to abstain from not only a sin but also from activities which may lead to it. In verse 151 of the sixth surah, the words Do not go near indecency also point to this principle. Moreover, it must be borne in mind that there is a spirit behind every law. In Islam, the underlying spirit in every law pertaining to morality and ethics is the purity of ones soul. This purity is essential if one wants to become a true servant of ones Lord and enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The object of the Divine law is to ensure that a mans soul is purged and that its purity is not profaned. Therefore, in following these directives one must make sure that one is not negating the spirit behind the law through subterfuges. Of particular relevance in the Divine directives pertaining to social interaction between men and women are the directives in Surah Nur (24:30 & 31). ne more thing. A Muslims heart should be filled with remembrance of God and with love for Him. In the absence of this remembrance, it becomes easy for the Satan in our souls to lead us to such subterfuges as negate the spirit of the Divine law, if not its structure. In the light of what has been said above, your friend should decide for himself whether his attitude and behaviour are appropriate or not. If he feels they are not, then he can explain the whole rationale to his friend, and invite her as well to follow a course of action which, in affording them their mutual pleasure, does not earn them the displeasure of their Lord. Also, love without loyalty is merely infatuation, if not flirtation. And this humour more often than not proves to be dark and portentous in matters which are no joke: love, relations, family and family values. True love is never afraid of venturing into a commitment. Unless there is some extraordinary hindrance, your friend should think about marriage. This legal bound keeps the two people involved together when they are out of love until they are in love again and thereby ensures that the sanctity of higher and indispensable ideals as love, relations and family values is not desecrated at the unhallowed hands of base desires.

How To Lower Our Gaze

by Sabeel Ahmed

A big curtain is not my intention, but a big iman and befitting Islamic manners is

"If I were not a Muslim, I would have contracted AIDS" proclaimed my friend. "The ayats in Sura Nur about

lowering our gazes doesn't affect me anymore,"expressed another youth, talking about the intense temptations felt by today's young. Difficulty in lowering the gaze by both the young and old is readily perceived on the street, weddings, parties and even in the mosques. What has gone wrong? How can Muslims, called by Allah, our Creator the model community, the custodians of Truth and the upholders of morality behave this way? Why are we adopting the attitudes and routes of the kuffar? How can we rectify ourselves? What follows is a series of practical, though graphic advises which can work for us and set us free from Satan's stronghold, Insha`Allah. Prophet Muhamad (pbuh), by way of warning and as a reminder said, "There is nothing left after I go more dangerous to men than the temptations of women." Being optimistic, a ray of hope was also wisely provided during the prophet's Last Sermon "If the Ummah holds on to the Qur`an and Sunnah, it will never go astray." When Allah created humans with all our desires and urges, he also revealed to us sufficient and complete guidance to properly channel these desires, both in the midst of Dar-ulKufr or Dar-ul-Islam. All we need to do is seek it, contemplate on it and pursue it. "This day I have perfected your deen for you, completed my favors upon you and chosen Islam as your deen." (Maida 4) We should realize that the fact the great sahabas were human beings also. Biologically there were no different from us. They had desires and temptations but yet, they controlled themselves in the best of ways. We can do the same, Insha`Allah. To possess sensual passions is human, to control them is Muslim. When confronted with an alluring situation like passing by a non-mahram on the street, office or school, Satan is constantly tempting us to glare at her/him with evil thoughts. Satan is probably excitingly saying, with a big smile, 'yes, yes, yes,' when we steer into the bait he is setting. During these situations, immediately and consciously realize that when we give a second or following

glances, we are obeying Satan. "O you who believe, follow not the footsteps of the devil " (24:21). By immediately averting our gazes and disobeying Satan, we are giving him a one-two punch in the face and leaving him frustrated and accursed. Satan rebelled and was expelled by Allah, so let's all rebel against Satan and expel him from our hearts. Satan intends to fight a war against Muslims, so let's gather our forces behind the Qur`an and the Sunnah and defeat him. Remember that even if no human eye is watching us, the Ever-Watchful Allah is constantly monitoring the innermost regions of our hearts. Our eyes, limbs, tongue and private parts will be witnesses on the Judgment Day and not an atom's worth of deed will remain unexamined. Our minds are conditioned to associate thoughts of stealing clothes from a store to being in handcuffs and hauled into a police van. Likewise we should condition our minds to bring the verses of Surah Nur in front of our eyes during any tempting situations and imagine that Allah is speaking to us directly"Say to the believing, men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty .O you believers! Turn you all together towards Allah that you may attain success" (24:30-31) If the Qur`an contained only these two ayats, it would be enough to convince me that it is the book of Allah. With practice, these associations and the remembrance of Allah during tempting situations will prevent us from getting stuck by devilish arrows. Successfully controlling our gazes also deadens our avoidance of sinful situations. An Islamic idiom says, "Anything that leads to haram is haram in itself." To do a pious deed is a reward; to avoid a sin is a reward too. One of the biggest culprits in this class is movies. In the name of entertainment, to please our peers and children and an excuse to do something together as a family, we astonishingly allow un-Islamic pictures and dialogues in front of our eyes and ears. Can we ever imagine (aozubillah) any sahaba renting the latest hit from Blockbuster Videos, or listening to music with alluring lyrics at high volume?

Likewise we watch news on TV and stare at the anchor women, adorned in heavy make-up, scanty clothing and seductive smile. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), was once approached by a woman with a proposal for marriage. He took a single glance at her face and turned his face away. Jabir bin Abdullah reported:"I asked Allah's messenger about the sudden glance on the face of a non-mahram. He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes." (Muslim) Thus, we are not supposed to stare at faces of nonmahrams, be they are our fellow students, our elders, saleswomen or someone on TV. Pious ladies of the prophet's household were ordered to observe purdah (separation) in front of a blind sahabah. Asking the curious questions as to why cover/separate when the blind sahabah could not see them, the prophet (pbuh) wisely answered, "But you could see him." In our wedding ceremonies and parties and even in many Islamic fundraising dinners, there is heavy free-mixing between brothers and sisters. Often the chairs of males and females are arranged facing each other, knowing that about 90 percent of our sisters do no wear hijab. It is often noticeable to see males and females peeking glances at each other from the opposite ends of the hall. A big curtain is not my intention, but a big iman and befitting Islamic manners is. "A woman who applies perfumes and goes to a gathering is like an adulteress" the prophet said Muhammad. Compare this with our sisters who clad themselves with expensive perfume, one kilogram of makeup, and then come to mixed gatherings. Will this not attract the attention of males? Let's be real. We have lowered our moral guards so low that a humble word of truth often seems so awfully strange. Let us contemplate the above humble advices and constantly make the supplication, "O Allah help us control our sensual desires until we get married, and even after we marry, let our desires be only towards our spouses." What does Islam say about homosexuality?
From 'Common Questions People Ask About Islam' by Shabir Ally

Islam teaches that homosexual acts are sinful and punishable by God. This teaching comes not from human beings, but from the Creator of all humans. God tells us in His own words how He punished the people of Lot for their homosexual behaviour. The story of prophet Lot, on whom be peace, finds mention in several Qur'anic passages, especially Chapter 26:160-175 which reads: "The people of Lut rejected the apostles. Behold, their brother Lut said to them: "Will ye not fear (God)? "I am to you an apostle worthy of all trust. "So fear God and obey me. "No reward do I ask of you for it: my reward is only from the lord of the Worlds. "Of all the creatures in the world, will ye approach males, "And leave those whom God has created for you to be your mates? Nay, ye are a people transgressing (all limits)!" They said: "If thou desist not, O Lut! thou wilt assuredly be cast out!" He said: "I do detest your doings." "O my Lord! deliver me and my family from such things as they do!" So We delivered him and his family,- all Except an old woman who lingered behind. But the rest We destroyed utterly. We rained down on them a shower (of brimstone): and evil was the shower on those who were admonished (but heeded not)! Verily in this is a Sign: but most of them do not believe. And verily thy Lord is He, the Exalted in Might Most Merciful." From these passages we learn that God saved Lot and the righteous ones of his family, and rained on the rest a shower of brimstone, so they were utterly destroyed. This is mentioned in the Qur'an not only for the sake of information, but mainly to serve as a warning to anyone who dares to repeat such acts. Muslim believe that every human action leads to consequences. Good actions entail good results, and evil actions entail evil consequences. Some of these consequences may not become known for many years after a certain action. The consequences of some actions will become manifest only after death when one enters a new, everlasting life.... A common mistake among humans is that if they don't see any negative consequences for their actions they consider it harmless. Human experience has taught us that a source of superior knowledge can be of tremendous benefit to humans.... God, the source of all knowledge, warns us of His punishment if people perpetrate homosexual acts. Let us pay attention and learn the easy way. Some will say that a person may be born with homosexual tendencies. We say that everyone is a free agent. God lays before us two paths and has given us knowledge of where these paths lead. One is the path to which the devil call us. We must avoid that. One is the path leading to paradise. We must stick to that one. Everyone experiences evil prompting from time to time. We must resist those with all our might. If one feels a tendency to do something that God prohibits, he or she should seek help from a community of loving, caring, believers who would understand his or her difficulty and help him or her overcome it. A common ploy of the devil is to convince people that they cannot avoid sin. Then they do not even try. But God promises that the devil can have no lasting power over those who sincerely seek God (see Qur'an 15:42) Finally, our bodies are given to us in trust from God. One should not use his or her body contrary to the user guide provided by its Maker. Consenting adults also need God's consent.

Private Schools Promoting Homosexuality to Children

By Peter LaBarbera (Reprinted from "Human Events", May 12, 1999) BALTIMORE, Md. - President Clintons recent announcement of a plan to subject junior high students to gay-inclusive tolerance lessons reminded Americans of the ongoing threat of homosexual promotion in the nations public schools. But few parents realize that the homosexual lobby is also targeting private including religious schools with its message to impressionable children that gay is OK. Six years after the Children of the Rainbow controversy in New York City, homosexual activists are stepping up their campaign to expose grade school students even kindergarteners to pro-homosexual propaganda. About 150 teachers and administrators from mostly elite private schools in Maryland and D.C. gathered February 2 at the Maritime Institute outside Baltimore for an all-day conference aimed at guiding educators on how to bring homosexual-affirming programs into their schools. The conference, sponsored by the Association of Independent Maryland Schools (AIMS), featured a workshop on lower schools in which kindergarten and first-grade teachers discussed ways to introduce their young students to homosexual themes. I have a first grader who is experiencing homosexual tendencies, said Jennifer Barrett, a young teacher at the prestigious Sheridan School in northwest Washington, D.C. (tuition: $12,000 -$14,000). Her reasoning: the boy plays with girls rather than his own gender. Barrett said the child was developing a poor self-image, insisted, I feel its my job as an educator to make sure he feels good about himself, and wanted the other teachers at the workshop to tell her how to achieve her goal. Not a single participant in that session attended by this reporter objected to the idea that Barrett should encourage the boy to feel comfortable with his supposed latent homosexuality. Not a single person remarked that he might not be a pre-homosexual at all and that there have been plenty of kids who have grown out of such tendencies with the right kind of advice and training. Instead, the focus was on how to help such children feel comfortable about themselves by exposing them to pro-homosexual lessons in an age appropriate way. (One teacher did coach Barrett on the politically correct terminology, advising her to describe the boy in terms of gender nonconformity rather than homosexual tendencies.) A National Campaign This was the second AIMS conference dedicated to placing sexual orientation programs in member schools many of which, like St. Pauls School for Girls, near Baltimore, are religious or religiously based. (Sidwell Friends School, the ritzy Quaker school in the District of Columbia that counts Chelsea Clinton among its alumni, is one of the more than 100 schools affiliated with AIMS.) The second keynote speaker at the conference was Emmy Howe, a lesbian parent and activist from Cambridge, Massachusetts, who participated in the AIMS workshop on lower schools. Massachusetts leads the nation in pro-homosexual school programs spending $1 million annually (and a proposed $1.5 million next year) on its taxpayer-funded campaign to affirm homosexual youth. Homosexual activists from the liberal state are promoting their model to educators in other states with missionary zeal. Indeed, homosexual advocates are using a plethora of strategies to encourage young schoolchildren to adopt positive notions about homosexuality.

Among them: Holding classroom discussions about alternative families, including those with homosexual parents; Promoting gay-inclusive and anti-homophobia curricula; Encouraging homosexual teachers to be open about their sexual orientation in class; Using teachable moments (e.g., correcting a child who uses the word gay as a putdown) to guide young school kids into politically correct attitudes about homosexuality.

The Pre-Homosexual Child? The AIMS conference certainly conformed to the activists agenda. The first keynote speaker was Dr. Justin Richardson, a Harvard-educated psychiatrist and director of Columbia Universitys Center for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Mental Health, and guess what? a homosexual to boot. Did any of the teachers or school administrators present think he might be biased in his advice? No one cared to challenge him on that score. Richardson said educators need to aid the pre-homosexual child with a supportive school environment, paving the way for his later coming out. He claimed that a childs sexual orientation is determined very early in life around four years of age, he suggested so why not prepare the pre-homosexual child for the inevitable? Heterosexual children wont be affected by pro-homosexual affirmation in schools, he told the teachers. Richardson said he is often asked by concerned parents, Will this [submitting children to a pro-homosexual environment] make my kid gay? Will sending my kid to this school make my kid more likely to be gay? And you want to be able to lay that one to rest, and I think science has really done that for you. Healthier Lesbianism Two years ago, Richardson sounded the same deterministic theme, addressing parents who were concerned because several eighth-grade students at an elite New York City school their children attended had declared themselves bisexual. He advised them, according to a New York Times story, not to worry: [I]f this is a girl who has a genetic predisposition and early experience to grow up to be a heterosexual, then bisexual experimentation will probably only help her clarify that she is more attracted to males than to females. However, if she started life on the path to being a lesbian, teenage experimentation might help her to develop her lesbianism in a healthier way than if she were forced to ignore her true desires until adulthood. Translation: lesbian experiences are actually a plus. Richardsons morality is atrocious, and his science is suspect, at best. (Consider the recent phenomenon of famous lesbians like Holly Near and JoAnn Loulan, author of the advice book Lesbian Sex, who have stunned their comrades by falling in love with men.) He offered no scrap of evidence that homosexuality is determined at four or thereabouts. Indeed, at the AIMS conference, Richardson, while maintaining that genes play a major factor in the development of homosexuality an assertion clearly unproved also acknowledged that environment plays a role. (He cited a study that found that on average, homosexual men report that they had a worse relationship with their father than heterosexual men with their dads.) Well, if environment can help turn someone into a homosexual, why should schools provide that kind of environment?

One reason behind the widening acceptance of gay-positive programs in schools, Richardson said, is the growing recognition ... that theres a genetic basis for homosexuality, which has caused people to begin to conceive of a pre-homosexual child.... But the accelerating acceptance of pro-homosexual programs in schools is traceable more to the growing power of the homosexual lobby than any scientific evidence. Ironically, a week after Richardsons AIMS speech, the liberal Boston Globe reported that enthusiasm for gay gene research has waned among scientists and homosexual activists. The Globe reported that six years after a widely reported study (by a homosexual researcher) purporting to locate a genetic marker for male homosexuality, the gene has still not been found ... There is growing consensus that sexual orientation is much more complicated than a matter of genes. (Emphasis added) Moreover, the prestigious journal Science recently repudiated its own 1993 study, ballyhooed by the media, by a homosexual researcher purporting to find a genetic basis for homosexuality.

Promoting Homosexuality in the Name of Safety? The title of the AIMS conference, Making Schools Safe II, suggested its ideological agenda. In recent years, homosexual advocates have implemented homosexual-positive programs in schools by arguing that they are necessary to protect gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered students from getting teased or, worse, committing suicide or being physically attacked by their peers. While everybody in the pro-family movement supports protecting students from harm, many have voiced dismay at the idea of espousing pro-homosexual school programs in the name of safety since homosexual behavior, especially among males, has been linked to numerous diseases such as Hepatitis A and AIDS. But when a Catholic mother in the audience asked the soft-spoken Richardson about the health risks associated with homosexual behavior, including AIDS, he dismissed the connection. I think an effective strategy to protect against AIDS is really to encourage people to practice safe sex and not to talk about risk groups, Richardson said. The best thing would be to teach heterosexual and homosexual adolescents and adults to use a condom. Thats a much more effective strategy than telling them not to have sex with certain kinds of people. Richardsons condescending advice flies in the face of data by the Centers for Disease Control, which has consistently reported a majority of AIDS cases tied to homosexual sex between men (and IV drug use). Moreover, condom failure is exacerbated by the unnatural act of anal sex, one of several dangerous gay sex practices. Even liberal sex advice columnist Dr. Ruth Westheimer discourages anal sex as high risk, recognizing that it causes damage to the body. The same woman at the AIMS conference asked about Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, the California psychologist who founded the National Association for Reparative Therapy of Homosexuals (NARTH), which counsels men and women who want to abandon their homosexual identity. Richardson tagged NARTH a fringe group thats not respected by their colleagues psychiatrists or psychologists, and noted that the American Psychiatric Association recently condemned reparative therapy.

Richardson said studies show that this sort of treatment not only doesn't change someones actual sexual orientation that is, their attractions though he did admit that it can change their behaviors. But he said that behavior change often comes at great cost, which is significant damage to their self-esteem and their ability to be honest with themselves. Richardson apparently subscribes to the circular reasoning used by fellow activists: those who claim to be former homosexuals either never were really gay to begin with or they are merely forcing an unnatural change in their behavior and are still suffering. Richardsons claims aside, there are literally scores of studies, articles and personal testimonies demonstrating that there are plenty of bona fide ex-homosexuals who have turned into happy heterosexuals. Nicolosi pointed to an 860-respondent study commissioned by NARTH which shows that "as clients diminish their homosexuality, their self-esteem rises. Clients come to us with damaged self-esteem, Nicolosi said. They don't want to be gay and they've been told there's no hope. He said NARTH has brought relief to hundreds of people who wanted to change but had nowhere else to turn due to the strong prohomosexual bias of the mental health establishment. But we dont have to rely solely on Nicolosis evidence. Back when the study of change for homosexuals was not politically incorrect as it is today, numerous sexologists and mental health professionals reported success in helping homosexuals overcome their unwanted gay desires. Famed sex researchers Masters and Johnson reported a 71.6 success rate of homosexual-to-heterosexual change in 1979. In 1987, New York psychoanalyst Dr. Rubin Fine wrote, I have recently had occasion to review the results of psychotherapy with homosexuals and been surprised by the findings a considerable percentage of overt homosexuals became heterosexuals. Moreover, Richardsons dismissal of change for homosexuals ignores the many men and women alive today who have overcome homosexuality through therapy, Christian conversion or both. People like Anthony Falzarano, a former gay male prostitute who had over 400 sex partners but is today happily married to wife Diane and the father of two children and former lesbian Yvette Cantu of the Family Research Council are living proof that the idea that homosexuality is fixed and immutable is just a myth. Affirming the Pre-Homosexual Child In the lower schools workshop, Richardsons notion of affirming the pre-homosexual child seemed to embolden the 28 teachers and parents in attendance. The discussion was led by Lina Ayers, a lesbian parent whose child, Lauren, attends the Friends School in Baltimore, a Quaker school. Ayers explained how, in an effort to ensure that other children would understand Laurens two moms, she and her lesbian lover (who also attended the AIMS conference) won permission from the school to read Heather Has Two Mommies, a pro-homosexual childrens book, to all first-grade students. (She whited-out the books biological sections describing artificial insemination.) The school notified parents by letter of Ayers classroom visits only after they occurred, but nobody complained. Although this belated notification surprised a few teachers at the workshop, even that was too much for Anita Marcus, a kindergarten teacher at Green Acres School in Rockville, Maryland (tuition: $12,200), who asked Ayers, What did they have to send a letter home for? Im wondering what will it take to get to a place where it just is not strange and revolutionary to discuss [homosexuality] I mean, when I had a big conversation in my kindergarten class about gays and lesbians I didnt send a note home

that said, Guess what we talked about today? and I didnt hear anything [back from concerned parents]. Marcus school, Green Acres, has a sexual orientation program that includes talking about alternative (gay-led) families to elementary-age children. Ayers classroom visits highlight another factor behind the pro-gay education push: homosexual parents with school-age kids are seeking to reduce the social stigma they face from classmates by pressuring school administrators to adopt pro-homosexual tolerance and diversity programs. The model for this parenting strategy was Emmy Howe, the closing keynote speaker who became the Cambridge, Massachusetts school districts first-ever liaison to homosexual parents. Howe urged homosexual parents to get as involved as much as possible in volunteering at their childs school to win friends for the homosexual cause. In the Q & A period after his speech, Dr. Richardson recommended that the educators use the film lesbian-produced film Its Elementary (financed in part by James Hormel, President Clinton's ambassadorial nominee to Luxembourg) for teacher training. The film shows elementary school teachers giving pro-homosexual lessons to young children, and includes a clip from a gay pride pep rally of sorts at a Quaker elementary school in Howes hometown of Cambridge, Mass. Once you have the vocabulary to talk with young children about homosexuality, it becomes very easy, said, Richardson, who received enthusiastic applause following his speech. Such comments and the multi-faceted gay campaign to expose impressionable young students to homosexual propaganda demonstrate that parents can no longer assume teachers will guard their childrens innocence even in kindergarten and even in some of our nations finest private and religiously-based schools Peter LaBarbera is president of Americans for Truth about Homosexuality (703-4917975, www.americansfortruth.org), which publishes the Lambda Report. He is a contributing editor to Human Events and is working on a book about the homosexual agenda in Americas schools. LaBarbera is also editor of CultureFacts, a newsletter of the Family Research Council.

Qaradawi on Free-Mixing of Men and Women

Visit Dr. Yousuf Al-Qaradawi's Website Our problem, as I said before and will always say, is that we tend to go to extremes when dealing with social and intellectual issues. We are rarely guided to the 'middle' which represent one of the general and most prominent features of Islamic theology and commandments. This is strikingly clear in this issue as well as all other issues related to contemporary Muslim women. Two opposite types of people have been unfair to women: 1. The Westernized type who want to impose Western traditions, which include decadence and lack of values - especially religious, and deviation from normal nature. In addition to staying away from the rightly guided path, that Allah has sent prophets and holy books to show to the people and call them to abide by. They want the Muslim woman to follow the habits of Western women, inch by inch and foot by foot as was visualized in the hadith of the prophet: "Even if she enters the lizard's hole she follows her even it was twisted and narrow and smelled bad." Nevertheless, if the Western woman enters it, the Muslim woman

follows suit. Or in other word, a new kind of amicability that some tried to propagate that was known as "Amicability of the lizard's hole". Those people are not aware of what the Western woman complains of today and the negative repercussions that the 'open' mixing of sexes has brought upon her, upon men, the family and the whole society. They shut their ears to the screams of dissatisfaction that filled the horizons of the Western world, as well as the screams of the scientists and literary men, and the fears of intellectuals and the reformists of the whole civilization that was affected as a result of canceling all restrictions on the mixing of sexes. Those people also forget that every nation has its personality that is formed by its beliefs and visualized it to the universe, life, existence and the God of existence, as well as its values, heritage and customs. It is not right for a society to copy another one.

2. The second half are those who force other traditions on women but they are the traditions of the East not the West. Those traditions are given a religious color. Those people who made those claims made them from their sides; based on something that they understood, or a view that they initiated or preferred because it suits their view on women and their disrespect for her, her religion, her brains or her behavior. Nevertheless, it is no more than the viewpoint of a human who can make mistakes due to the effect of time or place on him, the effect of his sheikhs and his school. He is opposed by other views that basing their opinions on what is Sahiih in the Glorious Quran, and in the wisdom of the Noble prophet and the stands of the companions. I would like to state that the word 'mixing' in the area of the relationship between men and women is a new word that has entered into our Muslim dictionary. It was never known to our long heritage for the past centuries, and was not known except in this period. Perhaps it was a translation of a 'foreign' word that carries this meaning. Its implication is not a comfortable one to the senses of a Muslim person. It would have been better to use the words meeting, gathering, or women's participation with men or something of the sort. In any case, Islam does not issue a general ruling on this matter. Islam looks at it in the light of the objectives behind it or the benefits gained as well as possible harms and in what form it takes place and the conditions that should be met, etc. The best guidance is that of Muhammad (PBUH) and that of the rightly guided caliphs and companions. The onlooker would find that women were not imprisoned nor kept apart as has happened in the ages of the backwardness of Muslims. Women used to attend the Jamaa (congregational) prayers and the Friday prayers in the Mosque of the Prophet. The prophet encouraged them to take their places in the rows behind the men. The further they could stand the better, as he feared that something would show of men's bodies, for most of them did not know shorts/trousers. There was no separation between men and women of cement, wood, cloth or anything else.

At the beginning men and women used the same door. When this caused crowding on entry and exit the prophet said: "If you could keep this door for women." They made that door for women and it became known up until today as the door of women. Women at the time of the prophet attended the Jumaah prayers and listened to the speech. One of them memorized Surat 'Qaaf' from the prophet's own voice as a result of hearing him say it from the Friday minbar. Women also attended the prayers of the two feasts and participated in this big Islamic festival that included the young and old, men and women, out in the open, praising God out loud. Muslim narrated: (Om Attiyah said: "We were all ordered to go out on the two feasts: the women who never leave home and the virgins.) In a story she said: "The prophet PBUH ordered us to go out in the Fetr and Adha - those who attained puberty, those who had their periods, those who were confined to their quarters. As for women who have their period, they do not pray but attend the event and the preaching. I said: "O Prophet! One of us might not have a jilbaab (long dress)". He said: "Let her sister give her a dress of her own." This is a Sunnah that Muslims have killed in some or all countries except what some youth did lately during the Islamic awakening. They brought to life what died years ago such as spending the last 10 days of Ramadan in seclusion and the Sunnah of having women attend the prayers of the feast. Women attended lessons of knowledge, given by the prophet, with men. They asked about issues related to their religion that many women today would be embarrassed to ask. Aisha praised the Ansaari women saying that the shyness did not stop them from understanding their religion. They asked about the major ritual impurity, sexual maturity, washing, the period, sexual maturity as well as other such things. It was not enough for women to attend. They wanted the prophet to themselves and asked him to make one day for them where men would not outnumber them. So the prophet dedicated a day for them and gave them wisdom and commandments. Women's actions went further and they participated in the war effort to provide services for the army and the fighters in the ways that they are capable of and are good at: nursing, first aid, caring for the injured and wounded, in addition to other services such as cooking, giving water and preparing what the fighters would need of civil matters. Om Atiyya said: "I took part with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) in seven battles. I would stay behind in the camp of men, cook their food, treat the wounded and nurse the sick." - narrated by Muslim. Muslim narrated on the authority of Anas: ("Aisha and Om Salim had their sleeves up one day and they were carrying water flasks on their backs that they then gave people to drink. Then, they went back and filled them".) The presence of Aisha here, and she was under twenty, answers the claims of those who said that participating in campaigns and battles was confined to elderly women. That is not true. What would elderly women be able to do in situations that need physical and psychological ability combined?

Imaam Ahmed narrated: "Six women from the believers were with the army that was putting Khaybar under siege. They were handling arrows, giving water, taking care of the wounded, weaved and worked for the sake of God." The prophet gave them a share of the booty. It is true that the women of some of the companions participated in military campaigns and Islamic battles by carrying weapons, when they had the chance. It is well known what Om Umara; the relative by marriage of Ben Ka3b did on the day of Uhud. The prophet said about her: "Her status is better than that of such and such a person." Muslim narrated on the authority of Anas, her son: (Om Selim also carried a dagger on Hunayn that she used to stab the stomach of anyone who came near her. Her husband Talhah saw her and said: O prophet! This is Om Selim with a dagger. So the prophet asked her: "What is this dagger?" She said: I took it so that if any of the disbelievers came near me I would stab his stomach. The prophet laughed.") Narrated by Muslim, number 1809. Al-Bukhari in his Sahiih has a chapter on the campaigns of women and their fighting. The ambition of Muslim women at the time of the prophet and his companions did not stop at participating in campaigns in nearby battles that were close to Arab land such as Khobayr and Honayn. It went further than that into aspiring to take to the sea and participating in opening far away lands to convey the message of Islam. In the Sahiih of Al-Bukhari and Muslim, on the authority of Anas: (The prophet was at Om Haram Ben MalHan, the aunt of Anas, one day. Then he woke up laughingly so she asked him: O prophet what is making you laugh? He said: "People from my nation asked me to go on military campaigns for the sake of Allah, riding the sea, kings on beds or like kings on beds." So she said: O prophet! Pray that I be one of them. He prayed for her. Om Haram rode the sea during the time of Othman with her husband Ibaadah Ben Al-Samit to Cyprus. She fell off her camel. She died and was buried there according to the narration of the people of sirah and history.) In the social life women participated in calling for good things, ordering that good deeds be done and forbidding bad deeds as Allah Almighty said: (The Believers, men and women, are protectors, one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practice regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His Mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise.) (At-Tawbah:71) Another famous incident related to the response that a woman gave to Omar in a Mosque in the case of Al-Mahwar. Omar changed his opinion and accepted hers openly saying: "The woman was right and Omar was wrong.". Ibn Kathir mentioned it in the Tafsiir of Surat An-Nisaa2 and said that its isnaad was jayyid. Omar had appointed, during his caliphate, Ash-Shafaa2 Ben Abdullah AlAdawaiyyah as 'mu7tasibah' or controller of prices and supervisor of trade honesty over the market. The one who looks deeply in the Quran and how it talks about women in the different ages and in the life of the messengers and the prophet does not feel this iron curtain that people have put between men and women.

We find that Moses - while he was at the peak of his youth and strength talking to the two girls, the daughters of the old Sheikh. He asked them questions and they answered without being guilty or embarrassed. He helped them gallantly. One of them goes to him later, sent by her father, to invite him to go with her to her father. Then one of them suggests to her father that he make use of him because of what she saw in him of strength and honesty.

Let us read what came in Surat Al-Qasaas (verses 23-26): (And when he arrived at the watering (place) in Madyan, he found there a group of men watering (their flocks), and besides them he found two women who were keeping back (their flocks). He said: "What is the matter with you?" They said: "We cannot water (out flocks) until the shepherds take back (their flocks): and our father is a very old man." So he watered (their flocks) for them; then he turned back to the shade, and said: "O my Lord! truly am I in (desperate) need of any good that Thou dost send me!" Afterwards one of the (damsels) came (back) to him, walking bashfully. She said: "My father invites thee that he may reward thee for having watered (our flocks) for us." So when he came to him and narrated the story, he said: "Fear thou not: (well) hast thou escaped from unjust people." Said one of the (damsels): "O my (dear) father! engage him on wages: truly the best of men for thee to employ is the (man) who is strong and trusty.")

In Mariam's case, we find that Zakariya used to enter her 'miHraab' and ask her about the 'rizk' he found there. (Al-Imraaan: 37)

(Right graciously did her Lord accept her: He made her grow in purity and beauty; to the care of Zakariya was she assigned. Every time that he entered (her) chamber to see her, he found her supplied with sustenance. He said: "O Mary! Whence (comes) this to you?" She said: "From Allah: for Allah provides sustenance to whom He pleases, without measure.")

In the story of Queen of Saba', we find her gathering her people to consult them on the issue of Suleiman (An-Naml 32-34)

(She said: "Ye chiefs! advise me in (this) my affair: no affair have I decided except in your presence."They said: "We are endued with strength, and given to vehement war: but the command is with thee; so consider what thou wilt command." She said: "Kings, when they enter a country, despoil it, and make the noblest of its people its meanest; thus do they behave.)

It cannot be said: this is the legislation of those before us so we do not need it. The Quran did not mention this to us except to let the rightly guided ones gain guidance from and remember its wisdom. It is therefore true to say: the legislation before us as mentioned in the Quran and the Sunnah is a legislation for us as long as it had not been copied to our legislation. God Almighty said to his prophet: (Al-An3aam: 90)

(Those were the (prophets) who received Allah's guidance: copy the guidance they received; say: "No reward for this do I ask of you: this is no less than a Message for the nations.")

Keeping a woman at home, between its four walls and not letting her out was considered in the Quran - in one of its sates of legislation before the famous verse of punishment on adultery - as a severe punishment to Muslim women who committed adultery. Allah Almighty said in Surat An-Nisaa': 15)

(If any of your women are guilty of lewdness, take the evidence of four (reliable) witnesses from amongst you against them; and if they testify, confine them to houses until death do claim them, or Allah ordain for them some (other) way.)

Later, Allah allowed women to go their way when the legislation on adultery was revealed which is the whipping that was mentioned in the Quran for those who are not sheltered (married) and the stoning to those who are sheltered. So how can the logic of keeping respectable and honorable Muslim woman at home be in line with the logic of the Quran and Islam?! It is as if we will punish her an everlasting punishment when she has not committed a sin.

Conclusion The meeting of men and women is not 'haraam' but is acceptable or required if the objective was participation in a noble cause, related to useful knowledge or good deeds, or a beneficial project or a necessary 'jihaad', or otherwise of the activities that need combining the efforts of the two sexes and cooperation between them in the planning, direction and execution. This does not mean that the barriers between them should melt and the legislative barriers related to meetings between two parties are forgotten. People should not claim that they are pure angels that nobody should fear for or from. They want to transfer the Western society to us. The duty is to participate in good deeds and cooperate in what is charitable and pious within the framework that was drawn by Islam, which includes: 1. Keeping the eyes lowered politely between the two parties. They should

not look at each other's private parts of the body 'al-3awrah', nor look with passion, nor look for longer than necessary. (Surat An-Nuur 1)

(Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; ....) 2. Women should stick to respectable Islamic attire that covers the body except for the face and palms, which is not transparent. (Surat An-Nuur 31). (... and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss)

A number of companions of the prophet had stated that the ornaments mentioned in the verse refers to the face and the palms. Allah Almighty explained why women should dress discreetly: "Surat AlA7zaab:59".

(O Prophet! tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.)

In other words this attire differentiates between the serious decent woman from the playful careless one. Hence, nobody would harm the decent woman because her attire and her behavior will force all those who see her to treat her with respect. 3. Abiding by Muslim behavior, especially when women deal with men. a) In talking: women should not talk seductively (Al-A7zaab 32) (O Consorts of the Prophet! ye are not like any of the (other) women: if ye do fear (Allah), be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak ye a speech (that is) just. b) In walking: (An-Nuur: 31) God Almighty said: (and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments.) Muslim women should be as described here: (Al-Qasas: 25) (Afterwards one of the (damsels)

came (back) to him, walking bashfully. She said: "My father invites thee that he may reward thee for having watered (our flocks) for us." So when he came to him and narrated the story, he said: "Fear thou not: (well) hast thou escaped from unjust people.") c) In movement: she should not bend and twist like the ones mentioned in the Noble Hadith as ((the bending benders)). She should not like the women of the jahilliya period who were over adorned. d) Women have to avoid all what can be seductive of perfume or make up that ought to be used at home, not on the streets nor when meeting with men. e) There should be caution in having a man sit alone with a woman without a 'mi7rim'. The A7aadiith Ash-Shariifah forbade this and said: "The third is the devil". Fire and firewood should not come together. Women, should not be alone with a man, especially with male relatives of the husband. A 7adiith went: ("Do not enter on a woman". They said: "God's messenger. What about the relatives of the husband?" He said: "The relatives of the husband are death.") That is, the cause of destruction because a man may sit for long and there is danger in this. f) The meeting should be limited to what the needs dictate and what the joint work necessitates without the exaggeration that could lead the woman to ignore her duties or make her susceptible to people's evil talk or keeps her from the holy role of taking care of the house and bringing up generations.

Anal Sex
Anal intercourse with one's wife is a major sin, whether it occurs at the time of menstruation or not. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) cursed the one who does this: "Cursed is the one who approaches his wife in her rectum" (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/479; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 5865). The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) also said: "The one who has intercourse with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her rectum, or who goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 1/243; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 5918). In spite of the fact that many wives of sound nature refuse this, there are some husbands who threaten their wives with divorce if they do not obey them (in this matter), and some even deceive their wives, who are too shy to ask scholars about it, into thinking that it is permissible. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) said that a man may approach his wife in any way he likes, from the front or the back, so long as intercourse takes place in the place from through which a child is born. There is no doubt that the rectum is the place from which waste matter is expelled, not the place from which a child is born. Another reason why some may commit this immoral act is that they enter upon what should be a clean married life with some jaahili (ignorant) traditions and odd practices, or with memories of scenes from indecent movies, for which they have not repented to Allaah. It is known that this act is forbidden even if both partners agree to it. Mutual consent to a haraam deed does not make it halaal. I ask Allah to bestow upon us a proper understanding of His religion and to make us adhere to its limits, for He is the All-Hearing, the One Who answers prayers.

[Back]

Condoms
It is permissible to use condoms so long as this does not cause any harm and so long as both husband and wife consent to their use, because this is similar to azl (coitus interruptus or withdrawal). But it reduces the sensation of pleasure, which is the right of both partners, and reduces the chance of conception, which is also the right of both partners. Neither one of them is allowed to deprive the other of these rights. (For more information, see Question #1100 and 566). And Allaah is the course of strength. [Back]

Viagra (Sildenafil Citrate)

A fatwa given recently by Shaikh bin Baz on 26/06/98 in Riyadh when questioned as to whether the drug Viagra(Sildenafil Citrate)which is currently being used for treating erectile dysfunction was permissible to use. The Shaikh said "Using the drug that helps sexual intrecourse is permitted and there is no legal Islamic prohibition provided it did not contain ingredients that may harm health or an intoxicant material"quoted from Okaz newspaper Currently the drug is not prescribable on the NHS but may be later this year (Allah knows best). The only contra-indication for its use at present is the concurrent use of oral nitrate preparations for the treatment of angina since it is a potent vasodilator. Viagra was originally being researched as a treatment for angina. [Back]

Transplanting Testicles
The Islamic Fiqh Council addressed this issue as follows: Transplanting reproductive glands. Because the testicles and ovaries continue to carry and produce the genetic characteristics (DNA) of the original donor even after being transplanted into a new body, the transplanting of reproductive glands is not permitted according to Islamic shareeah.

Transplanting other parts of the reproductive organs. Transplanting parts of the reproductive system which do not transmit DNA (with the exception of the private parts themselves) is permissible in cases of legitimate necessity as long as the relevant rulings and regulations of shareeah are adhered to. And Allaah knows best. [Back]

Sterility Operations
It is not permitted to carry out operations on men or women that will lead to complete sterility, such as cutting the vas deferens (vasectomy) in men, or removing the ovaries or womb (hysterectomy) in women. This is because cutting off all possibility of future offspring with no valid reason is haraam, as it goes against what the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wanted for his ummah, and is a source of shame and humiliation for the Muslims. The more the Muslims increase in number, the more this is a source of pride and status for them. Allaah has guaranteed to provide for His slaves, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): And no living, moving creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allaah. And He knows its dweeling place and its deposit (in the uterus, grave, etc.). All is in a Clear Book. [Hood 11:6]. So cutting off all possibility of future offspring for no good reason goes against this teaching. However, if it is necessary to carry out an operation of the kind mentioned such as a case where the mothers life will be in danger if she becomes pregnant, or she is suffering from a disease in her womb which it is feared could spread and kill her (such as cancer), so she has no choice but to have her womb removed then there is nothing wrong with carrying out these operations in such cases of necessity. And Allaah knows best. Fataawaa al-Marah al-Muslimah (2/974); Fataawaa lil-Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen (2/975); Fataawaa al-Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem.

Where does Abstaining to Prevent AIDS come into Sex Education for you and your child?
Author Unknown I was holding a notice from my 13-year-old son's school announcing a meeting to preview the new course in sexuality. Parents could examine the curriculum and take part in an actual lesson presented exactly as it would be given to the students. When I arrived at the school, I was surprised to discover only about a dozen parents there. As we waited for the presentation, I thumbed through page after page of instructions in the prevention of pregnancy or disease. I found abstinence mentioned only in passing. When the teacher arrived with the school nurse, she asked if there were any questions. I asked why abstinence did not play a noticeable part in the material. What happened next was shocking. There was a great deal of laughter, and someone suggested that if I thought abstinencehad any merit, I should go back to burying my head in the sand. The teacher and the nurse said nothing as I drowned in a sea of embarrassment. My mind had gone blank, and I could think of nothing to say.

The teacher explained to me that the job of the school was to teach "facts," and the home was responsible for moral training. I sat in silence for the next 20 minutes as the course was explained. The other parents seemed to give their unqualified support to the materials. "Donuts, at the back," announced the teacher during the break. "I'd like you to put on the name tags we have prepared - they're right by the donuts-and mingle with the other parents." Everyone moved to the back of the room. As I watched them affixing their name tags and shaking hands, I sat deep in thought. I was ashamed that I had not been able to convince them to include a serious discussion of abstinence in the materials. I uttered a silent prayer for guidance. My thoughts were interrupted by the teacher's hand on my shoulder. "Won't you join the others, Mr. Layton?" The nurse smiled sweetly at me. "The donuts are good." "Thank you, no," I replied. "Well, then, how about a name tag? I'm sure the others would like to meet you." "Somehow I doubt that," I replied. "Won't you please join them?" she coaxed. Then I heard a still, small voice whisper, "Don't go." The instruction was unmistakable. "Don't go!" I'll just wait here," I said. When the class was called back to order, the teacher looked around the long table and thanked everyone for putting on name tags. She ignored me. Then she said, "Now we're going to give you the same lesson we'll be giving your children. Everyone please peel off your name tags." I watched in silence as the tags came off. "Now, then, on the back of one of the tags, I drew a tiny flower. Who has it, please?" The gentleman across from me held it up. "Here it is!" "All right," she said. "The flower represents disease. Do you recall with whom you shook hands?" He pointed to a couple of people. "Very good," she replied. "The handshake in this case represents intimacy. So the two people you had contact with now have the disease." There was laughter and joking among the parents. The teacher continued, "And whom did the two of you shake hands with?"

The point was well taken, and she explained how this lesson would show students how quickly disease is spread. "Since we all shook hands, we all have the disease." It was then that I heard the still, small voice again. "Speak now, it said, "but be humble." I noted wryly the latter admonition, then rose from my chair. I apologized for any upset I might have caused earlier, congratulated the teacher on an excellent lesson that would impress the youth, and concluded by saying I had only one small point I wished to make. "Not all of us were infected," I said. "One of us ... abstained."