You are on page 1of 118
MEAN GIRLS by Tina Fey Based on the book “Queen Bees and Wannabes" by Rosalind Wiseman revised 06/03/03 FADE IN: INT. CADY'S ROOM. EARLY MORNING. There are boxes around the undecorated room. The clock says 6:29 am. CRDY HERON, 15, lies in bed asleep. She is naturally pretty. Her Tong hair has never been dyed. Her eyebrows have never bse plucked. She has a fantastic tan. The clock hits 6:30 and the alarm goes off. Cady opens her eyes. cADY (groggy) Okay, I’m up. Cady closes her eyes for what seems like a second. When she opens them again, the clock says 7:15. Cady screams and jumps out of bed. INT. HALLWAY.- A FEW MINUTES LATER. paey spehes: out, Now she’s wearing khaki pants, a faded izod, and a Khaki bucket.hat. Her mom rushes by her. - BETSY You're gonna be late. Come here. - I'll braid your hair. INT. CADY’S KITCHEN. A FEW MINUTES LATER. i The kitchen is full of boxes. Cady (hair french-braided) pours, two bowls of cat food. Two cats come running. They hiss at’ each other. cADY Cleo, be nice! Pamela! stop it! While the cats are fighting, a big droopy dog strolls in behind them. CHIP (0.S.) : Come out front, Cady. I wanna get a photo. Cady is still wrestling with the cats. caDy Stop fighting. There’s enough for everybody. Gady puts the cats by their bowls, but the dog has‘ eaten all their ‘ood. cADY Why don’t you fight with hin? The dog’s slobbering face. cur to: EXT. FRONT OF CADY’S HOUSE. CONTINUOUS. Gady's gather CHIP, 43, 2 lanky professorial type, takes a picture of Cady and her mothet Betsy, 43." (Betsy is attractive but not concerned with style. The kind of woman who would still wear a fanny pack.) CHIP That's good. Stay close. Betsy bursts into tears. BETSY My baby’s going to school. Cady comforts her mother. _. SADY_(V.O.) I guess it’s natural “for parents to Gry on their kid's first day of School. But this usually happens when the kid is five. Betsy has pulled Cady close and is hugging her. CADY (17.0, I’m 15, and until ‘today, I was home— Schooléd. That means iy mom was my only teacher and my Dad was the only sub. I know what you're thinking. Home-schooled kids are freaks. cur TO: INT. THE SCRIPPS HOWARD SPELLING BEE. A spazzy-looking girl with thick glasses at the mic. SPAZZY GIRL X!¥!L! of Cf A! Ri Pl xylocarp! GADY (V.0.) Or that we're weirdly religious or something. cur TO: EXT. A YARD A family of six in-bred“looking albino kids staring straight into camera. . 8 YEAR OLD TOW HEAD KID And on the third day God created the Remington bolt action rifle so that man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. OTHER TOW HEADS Amen.

You might also like