12 July 2009

Today’s Tabbloid
PERSONAL NEWS FOR robinbrown78@yahoo.co.uk

MT BLOG

Folly Friday: Toyota versus

Easyjet, Rover fraud, the Hoff
likes new XJ
JUL 10, 2009 04:42P.M.

This week there’s a car v plane bust-up, news of a bizarre fraud involving
MG Rover, bizarre celebrity/car tie-ins, a siren that vibrates motorists
and cash-in merchandise. Toyota versus Easyjet There’s a big beef going
on between Toyota and Easyjet on Twitter, which stems from Easyjet’s
muddled and misleading claim that their jets emit less CO2 than [...]

MT BLOG

New Jaguar XJ launch – images

and videos
JUL 10, 2009 03:37P.M.

Beastie Boys - Intergalactic

Here’s some multimedia from the launch of the all-new Jaguar XJ, which
was finally unveiled at the Saatchi Gallery in London this morning.
There’s analysis and details over at MotorTorque, along with some rather
more standard images, but below there are pictures from the launch and
a video of the new Big Cat on the block, [...]
ROBIN BROWN TUMBLES
Beastie Boys - Intergalactic
JUL 10, 2009 10:05A.M.
MT BLOG
Freight of the Union
JUL 09, 2009 04:59P.M.
It seems that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to attempt a
modal shift in freight transport in the UK. Before you all scratch your
heads, this means the Government wants to move freight onto
waterways and railways where possible. The EU has just approved a case
from the government to put £19 [...]

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Today’s Tabbloid PERSONAL NEWS FOR robinbrown78@yahoo.co.uk
ADTURDS - ADVERTS THAT ARE SHIT
Bulmer’s cider
JUL 08, 2009 11:48P.M.
Cider seems to have made a bit of a comeback in recent years,
by virtue of a bit of branding that has restyled it as a bit of a
cool alcopop and the Stella phenomenon - charging an arm
and a leg for something horrible to dupe people into thinking
it’s not horrible.
Bulmers - along with Irish brewer Magners (also, confusingly sold as
Bulmers) - has cornered the market in charging over the odds for their
product, as anyone whose heart has sunk upon learning that some idiot
in the round wants a pint of ice and some fizzy apple pop will know.
Just to reinforce its Britishness, Bulmer’s has released a terrible advert
that’s omnipresent all summer pushing its sweet fizzy pop with a terrible
poem that’s a kind of low-rent equivalent of If, itself a poem that Kipling
thought was rubbish.
‘30 degrees, knob-ly knees!’ and a load of other stupid supposedly British
cliches that make me want to retch. There are lots of shots of people
doing stupid, supposedly British things and we’re all supposed to smile
in recognition of how bloody ridiculous but loveable we all are.
It’s frankly nauseating, and bloody irritating and patronising. It’s an idea
of Britain straight out of The Sun, so bland it could have been dreamed
up but Jo Whiley and so right-on it’s like a David bloody Cameron
speech.
‘Glorious, magnificent, eccentric and ours!’ It’s a mantra borne of a focus
group, the empty rallying cry of a telecommunications brand evangelist,
the ersatz motif of a society that doesn’t really exist. It’s fucking shit.
QUIS EST PORCUS?
Not out...
JUL 08, 2009 10:36P.M.
This video has found its way to me via Twitter, and is
apparently advertising the government-sponsored drinkaware
campaign.
In it Jimmy Anderson is denied a plumb LBW when the umpire is so
beered up that he’s busy wazzing all over the wicket, an incident I’ve
never seen on a cricket pitch, although a few opposition umps have
metaphorically pissed all over my bowling figures by denying me full
straight leg befores that were knocking middle stump out.
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12 July 2009
In lower league club cricket the umpiring is conducted by the batting
team’s own men, or by an ageing short-sighted chap whose playing days
are decades behind him.
There;s quite often a low-level gamesmanship that goes on in umping.
The majority of people are straight down the middle, but tend to be not
outers on the basis that they’re not going to risk giving their own batters
out unless all three stumps were likely to cartwheeling out of the ground.
Decisions at the death of a game, where a wicket could swing the
balance, are not likely to go in favour of the bowler. Likewise it’s
probably not even worth appealing for close run outs or stumpings as no-
one can be sure either way.
The other form of gamesmanship in umping is to deploy an umpire so
hopeless that they probably don’t even know the laws of cricket. Young
kids are a speciality, and most young uns these days seem to be coached
into a kind of ‘give-em-nothing’ attitude that basically promoted out-
and-out cheating.
At the other end of the scale is the hopeless old ump, who miscounts
balls in an over, gives rampantly absurd decisions and does it all with a
smile on his face. I find it hard to be tough on these old guys as the
weekly cricket match is clearly a highlight for them, but they’re among
the worst not outers in the game. This is particularly galling when you’re
a bowler.
At Sefton I honestly think we mainly play it fair. If anything I think we’re
probably too generous, though my own umping was described as
‘embarrassing’ by a particularly obnoxious bowler with an absurd name
this season.
Although respect for umpires seems to be going the way of all things in
the game, I think it’s important to uphold, and though I reckon I’ve
kissed goodbye to a couple of dozen extra wickets over the years (I bowl
wicket-to-wicket seam so LBWs form a big part of my attack) I don’t
think slating the umpire is really, well, cricket.
So I’m resigned to hearing the ‘down leg’s and ‘too many variables’ from
umpires in club cricket with a wry smile or baffled stare, though the day I
see an umpire openly urinating on the pitch in answer to an appeal may
be the day I finally snap.
Today’s Tabbloid PERSONAL NEWS FOR robinbrown78@yahoo.co.uk 12 July 2009

MT BLOG Go mad!

Lamborghini Gallardo bursts Mental health awareness.

into flames – video Go nuts!

JUL 08, 2009 09:28A.M.
This footage of a 2005 Lamborghini Gallardo going up in smoke was
shot in Peterborough by a startled onlooker. The Lambo spluttered to a
half, venting smoke from the engine at the rear when two men jumped
out. The Gallardo quickly erupted in flames and had to be put out by the
fire brigade. The owner, an [...]
To raise awareness of testicular cancer, testicles start springing up
around the city. Kids could be encouraged to go testicle-hunting, with
dozens of balls hidden around Liverpool’s sights, landmarks and
monuments.
At the conclusion of the event a giant testicle bounces down Lime Street.

Go crackers!
LIVERPOOL CULTURE BLOG
Celebrating crackers from around the world
Go Penguins
JUL 07, 2009 02:02P.M. Go to the foot of your stairs!

After the success of last year’s Go Superlambananas, which People all over Liverpool go to the foot of their stairs to raise awareness
saw loads of superlambananas springing up around the city, of stair-related injuries.
this year will feature Go Penguins, which will feature lots of,
er, penguins springing up around the city. Go bonkers!

(That’s enough Go! festivals - Ed)

Anyway, although all of this is facetious in the extreme, I’m sure the Go
Penguins events will be fun and successful.

Although there was a lot of sniffiness about the SLBs I thought they were
a good way of connecting with kids, and I expect this new programme to
be equally successful.

MT BLOG

Ferraris take on hill climb at

Goodwood
JUL 06, 2009 05:06P.M.

No, I’m a big fan of not fixing things that ain’t broke, but this strikes me
as a little unimaginative.
However, it also opens up some intriguing possibilities for events around
the city in the future. Her are some:
Some videos from Ferrari have arrives in our inbox, showing the
Scuderia Spider 16M blasting up the hillclimb at Goodwood in under a
minute. There’s also videos of the the California and 599 GTB Fiorano
with HGTE package, which don’t hang about either. Goto the
MotorTorque homepage on Youtube for more. Bookmark It

Go bats!

Bats start springing up around the city. Actually I’d enjoy this one.

Go ballistic!

Ballistic missiles start springing up around the city, each one

representing a different country.

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Today’s Tabbloid PERSONAL NEWS FOR robinbrown78@yahoo.co.uk 12 July 2009

LIVERPOOL CULTURE BLOG
Liverpool crane collapse
JUL 06, 2009 01:05P.M.
This extraordinary image comes from Sparkle Media and
shows a crane collapsed across a building at Chandlers Wharf
near the Albert Dock in Liverpool.
This is by my reckoning the third crane collapse in Liverpool in recent
years. There are reports that the driver is injured but alive and there are
people trapped in the building. Here’s hoping everyone gets out
unscathed.
Liverpool’s citizen journalists are providing superb coverage of the event,
which you can follow here.
switch from printing in Liverpool to Oldham, at least one hour’s drive
away.
The consensus - right or wrong - in Liverpool’s media community is that
The Post is on its way out, with sales down to under 10K according to
various reports I’ve heard.
Given the difficulty regional newspapers are experiencing, and recent
moves by Trinity Mirror to axe several Midlands titles, the writing would
appear to be on the wall for Liverpool’s second daily.
But in moving the newspapers into almost direct competition with one
another, Trinity Mirror seems to be delaying that move - but is it simply
delaying the inevitable?
The NUJ’s response is not encouraging - it has described the move as
‘ripping the heart out of the Post and Echo’ and vowed to fight the move.
The chapel is meeting this week to discuss a response.

• Here’s another by Fact_Liverpool: Journalists at the Echo will move to an overnight deadline and a later
edition, meaning journalists will be unable to react to overnight events
for the first edition - one of the key advantages the Echo has over
nationals and rubbish like Metro.

MT BLOG Journalists at the Echo are not pleased, but Trinity Mirror says there will
be no job losses.
The best UK Volkswagen car
Sadly that’s not the case for the printers at Liverpool - a hundred will
adverts lose their jobs when printing shifts to Oldham at the start of August.
JUL 06, 2009 11:52A.M.
It’s a tragedy for the workers involved, and it’s also the end of 155 years
Jalopnik’s best Volkswagen adverts struck us as rather overlooking some of printing at Liverpool.
of the best VW ads this side of the water over the last few years. Given
that the German car-maker has been probably featured the best car ads It’s also, coincidentally, where the first editions of Liverpool Student
of the last decade – with only stable-mate Audi as a potential rival for Newspaper were published ten years ago - eventually.
irreverence, style and brand [...]
The first two dummy editions came back totally whited out, and barely
legible. We went to speak to the printers to sort it out in the end.
LIVERPOOL CULTURE BLOG
I was impressed with the noise, size and grime of the operation - far
Trinity Mirror move pitches bigger than the Hartlepool Mail’s printing presses I’d previously seen.
They’re also gone these days. Whichever way you look at it, it’s a shame.
Echo and Post against one
• There’s a video below from Liverpool Stories on the printing presses at
another the Post and Echo building.
JUL 05, 2009 04:39P.M.

It seems the Liverpool Echo is to become primarily a morning

paper - a move that puts it into apparent competition with the
Daily Post.

The Echo will still retain an on-day edition, but the first will be printed
overnight.

Reading between the lines, the change in deadlines is to accommodate a

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Today’s Tabbloid PERSONAL NEWS FOR robinbrown78@yahoo.co.uk 12 July 2009

ROBIN BROWN TUMBLES MT BLOG

kossy: Is Aston Martin’s Toyota Folly Friday: Aston’s fat

iQ-based Cygnet a joke?... sparrow, Audi corporate art,
JUL 03, 2009 04:26P.M.
370Z Yellow
JUL 03, 2009 04:06P.M.

MotorTorque was considering just featuring a huge picture of Aston

Martin’s Cygnet for this edition of Folly Friday – the most stupid and
bizarre things from the car industry – but a couple of other candidates
made their way into reckoning in the end. Everyone seems totally baffled
by Aston’s announcement that it will rebadge the [...]

QUIS EST PORCUS?

The Fat Slogger

JUL 03, 2009 12:06P.M.

Every bowler will know the archetype of the fat slogger, and
every bowler will have suffered at the hands of the FS.

kossy:
They’re usually in their 40s, red-faced and aggressive. They feast on pies
and pints as readily as half volleys and long hops. They’re essentially fat
Is Aston Martin’s Toyota iQ-based Cygnet a joke? « MT Blog
bastards.
iQ Aston Martin,”Cygnet”. A ···.

The fat slogger has one aim in life – to dispatch your best deliveries to
I don’t know what this means but it saves me the trouble of blogging it
the boundary with a meaty forearm and bat, and a significant degree of
myself
luck.

If you bowl a really good ball – one just back of a length – the fat slogger
MT BLOG will contemptuously pat it down in front of him or simply pad up.

The People’s Reviewer Because the Fat Slogger is quite tall he gets a good stride in, reason
JUL 03, 2009 04:07P.M. enough for the opposition umpire to give FS not out.

The MT Blog has teamed up with Volkswagen to promote The People’s
Reviewer – a competition to find the bestest amateur car reviewer in the
UK. Nine reviewers will be given a Tiguan compact SUV to get to grips
with, and the winner (by public vote) will walk away with the VW
crossover. Each reviewer put forward [...]
The FS will go hard at every ball, and will edge balls fast through the
slips, or just get enough of the ball to clear the fielder you’ve placed at
Cow.
The slower ball that is often the nemesis of the Fat Slogger can be just as
easily dispatched mercilessly if your length or line are slightly out.

Fat Sloggers are flat-track bullies, and as such can be tied in knots by
sticky wicket or a moving ball, but they’ve probably biffed a few lucky 4s
by the time they’re out.

Most are blessed with an extraordinary eye, or were once quite useful.
And they’re fat - so the ball goes further.

They’re nearly always obnoxious and full of themselves, and project an

air of lofty disinterest in proceedings.

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Today’s Tabbloid PERSONAL NEWS FOR robinbrown78@yahoo.co.uk
After a slogged, fat 70 not out, the FS will almost certainly come on to
bowl some pies and bafflingly take five wickets.
I hate Fat Sloggers.
ROBIN BROWN
Tabbloid ego trip
JUL 02, 2009 07:44P.M.
For those unfamiliar with it, Tabbloid is a kind of feed
aggregator that display your feeds in a newspaper format.
It’s meant to be a reader but I tested it out using feeds from my various
web nodes, just to see what it’s like.
I just found the link in my inbox and am impressed to see it’s pulled
articles from all of the feeds I entered and compiled into a fairly well put-
together PDF.
So, it obviously works, but beyond that it also provides an astonishing
ego boost (I’m always inordinately entertained by my own writing).
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12 July 2009
Anyway, for those considering using it, I recommend it. It has obvious
advantages over other web-based readers – I use Netvibes, which i like –
and is a nifty piece of kit.
For those as self-absorbed as I am, I also recommend it.
Here’s my edition (in 2meg+ PDF format):
ROBIN BROWN TUMBLES
Unsolicited spam
JUL 02, 2009 04:53P.M.
2 for 1 - Dining Deal Due to the economic downturn and the widespread
recession, we feel it is a...
ROBIN BROWN
Americans confused by Mrs
Slocombe’s pussy
JUL 02, 2009 01:00P.M.
It’s always said that Americans don’t do irony. Neither, it
seems, do they do innuendo.
The news of Mollie Sugden’s death has propelled the hashtag
#MrsSlocombesPussy to the top of trending topics, only for Twitter to
ban it and Mashable and TechCrunch to rage against Twitter spam, and
subsequently display a total lack of humour about the issue.
TechCrunch:
“Still amazes me how stuff like that gets in the top list of
trending topics. It shouldn’t.”
So, the Brits like smut – and Are You Being Served was gloriusly stupid,
hilarious smut – and the Americans are humourless nerds. Who knew?
But the unlikely, and rather sweet, phenomenon does highlight a
growing issue on Twitter – the explosion of spam followers and hashtag
spam.
The fact that it was initially assumed to be more spam speaks as much of
the problems Twitter is experiencing as of the typically myopic and
pompous worldview of US geeks.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and stroke my cock.
Today’s Tabbloid PERSONAL NEWS FOR robinbrown78@yahoo.co.uk 12 July 2009

CREATURE FEATURES ROBIN BROWN TUMBLES

What if Dani Behr was a bear? Great crisps I have known

JUL 01, 2009 02:37P.M. JUL 01, 2009 02:17P.M.

What if Dani Behr was a bear? A recent trip to several food outlets has reminded me just what a poor
choice of crisps there are...

What if Dani Behr was a bear?

By James Ronson

MT BLOG

Jaguar XFR Prototype breaking

225mph at Bonneville
JUL 01, 2009 02:34P.M.

Jag is taking its XFR Supercharged Prototype to the Goodwood Festival

of Speed – the fastest car the manufacturer has ever produced, after
exceeding 225mph at Bonneville Salt Flats last year. The Prototype ran
with aerodynamic and safety tweaks, but did not feature any altered
engine or transmission components for the run, using a remapped ECU,
[...]