K N MY ...

Mt g n my tin gn mt qu ng n mt sang trng trn ng ph. "Ny, ng bn

qu, ng c th cho hai la c khng?" Ngi n ng n mc sang trng tr li:" Bn
skhng tiu tin vo ru ch, phi khng?"
"Khng, tha ngi, ti khng ung ru," g n my ci li.
"Bn s khng qung n vo nhng vn chi to lao, phi khng?" ngi n ng thng lu hi.
" Khng theo li . Ti khng chi bi," g n my tr li.
" Bn s khng tiu hoang tin vo nhng khong ph hm ca mt cuc gn, phi khng?" ngi
n ng hi.
"Khng bao gi," tn n my ni, "ti khng chi gn."
Ngi n ng hi g n my c mun v nh vi ng ta ncm nh khng. G n my hm h ng
. Trong khi h ang i hng v nh ngi n ng, g n my khng thng c tnh t m. "V
ng s khng ni gin khi b y thy mt g nh ti ti bn n ca ng ?"
" Chc l c," ngi n ng ni, "nhng s ng nh th. Ti mun c y thy iu g xy ra cho mt
g khng nhu nht, c bc hoc chi gn."
HOW TO LIVE?
"Darling," said the young man to his new bride. "Now that we are married, do you think you will
be able to live on my modest income?"
"Of course, dearest, no trouble," she answered. "But what willyou live on?"
LM SAO SNG?
"Em yu," mt ngi n ng tr ni vi c du mi."V rng chng ta ci nhau, em c ngh em s c
th sng bng thu nhp khim tn ca anh?"
"D nhin, anh yu, khng sao c," c ta tr li. "Nhng anh s sng bng g?"
THEY HAD NO PRIVACY
As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the base
where he was working. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no
privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was
downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor.

"Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling
for it for 15 minutes!"
H KHNG C CHT RING T NO C
Khi l mt cp v chng tr mi ci, ngi chng v ngi v sng trong mt khu nh lin hp r
tin gn c s ngi chng lm vic.iu ng phn nn ch yu ca h l cc bc tng mng nh
giy v h khng c c s kn o.iu ny l ra hin nhin mt cch ng bun vo mt bui sng
ngi chng tng trn v ngi v tng di ang gi in thoi.Ngi v b ct ngang bi ting
chung ca v i ra cho ngi hng xm.
"a ci ny cho chng c," ng ta ni v gii mt cun giy v sinh vo tay c ta."Anh y ht i
n 15 pht!"
A HUSBAND WHO NEVER FEELS ASHAMED
"I'm ashamed of the way we live," a young wife says to her lazy husband who refuses to find a job. "My
father pays our rent. My mother buys all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a
car. I'm just so ashamed."
The husband rolls over on the couch. "And you damn well should be," he agrees. "Those two worthless
brothers of yours ain't never give us a cent!"
MT NGI CHNG KHNG BAO GI BIT XU H
"Em xu h v cch sng ca chng ta," mt ngi v tr ni vi ng chng li - ngi t chi i tm
mt vic lm." Ba em tr tin thu nh. M em mua tt c n.Ch em mua qun o chng ta. C em
mua xe hi cho chng ta. Em qu xu h."
Ngi chng ln trn trn i vng. "V em nn tip tc ch trch na," anh ta ng . "Hai ng anh v
dng ca em khng bao gi cho chng ta mt xu!"
THE NEIGHBORS CAN NOT SEE YOU
Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, the wife would often complain about
anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a "dream home".
Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment,within their budget. However, after the first
week, she begancomplaining again.
"Joel," she said, "I don't like this place at all. There are no curtains in the bathroom. The neighbors
can see me every time I take a bath."
"Don't worry." replied her husband. "If the neighbors do seeyou, they'll buy curtains."
HNG XM KHNG TH NHN THY EM C

 ci nhau mi nm nhng vn sng trong mt cn h, ngi v thng phn nn th v c ta

mt mi v vic tit kim tng xu mua mt "ngi nh m c".
Vi c gng an i v, ngi chng tm mt cn h mi hp titin ca h. Tuy vy, sau tun l u,
ngi v li bt u phn nn.
"Joel," c ta ni, "em khng thch ni ny t no. Khng c tm mn no trong phng tm. Hng xm c
th thy em khi em tm."
"ng lo," chng tr li. Nu qu thc hng xm thy em, h s mua mn."
WHERE'S THE SHOE?
One night a fellow drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office
reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended
to get jealous easily.
The next night the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted
a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat. Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until
his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of thecar.
With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming
around in her seat. "Honey," she asked, "have you seen my other shoe?"
CHIC GIY U RI ?
Mt bui ti c mt ngi n ng li xe ch c th k v nh sau khi c ta ung hi nhiu ti ba tic
chiu i c quan.Mc d y l mt hnh vi v t nhng anh ta quyt nh khng ni cho v- ngi
hay ni ghen d dng - nghe.
Ti hm sau, ngi n ng v v nh xe n mt nh hng. Thnh lnh anh ta nhn xung v nhn ra
mt chic giy cao gt n mt na di gh khch. Khng mun b ch , anh ta i ti lc
v nhn ra ca s trc khi anh ta anh ta ht chic giy ln v qung khi xe.
Vi mt hi th nh nhm, anh ta li xe vo bi u xe. Chnhlc anh ta ch thy v
loay hoay quanh gh ngi. "Anh yu," c ta hi, " anh c thy chic giy kia ca em khng?"
DUMMY HUSBAND
A man asked his wife, "if you could have anything in the world for one day, what would you want?"
"I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear,
everything there was! Wow! Five hourslater she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and

her stomach upside down. Off to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big
Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to amovie: the latest
Hollywood blockbuster, hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M & M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed intobed. He leaned over and lovingly asked,
"Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
One eye opened. "You dummy, I meant my dress size."
NGI CHNG NG NGHCH
Mt ngi n ng hi v:"Nu em c th c mi th trn th gii trong mt ngy, em s mun g?"
"Em mun tr li nh hi su," nng p.
Vo bui sng sinh nht nng, anh ta nh thc nng dy rt sm v h i n mt cng vin ch 1
trong vng. ng l mt ngy vui! Anh ta t nng ln mi th tr chi trong cng vin: ng trt
Cht ngi, Vng nho ln Ku tht, Bc tng S hi, mi th! Ht xy! Nm ting sau nng lo
o i ra khi cng vin, u c quay cung v bng nh ln xung. H i vo mt nh
hng McDonald, ngi chng gi mt ci bnh kp tht ln thm vi tht ram v mt ly scla trng
khuy.Sau h i ti mt rp chiu phim: b phim thnh cng nht, mi nht Hollywood, hot dog, bp
n, Pepsi Cola. Qu l mt cuc chi tuyt vi!
Sau cng nng i long chong v nh vi chng v sp xung ging. Anh ta ng ngi v hi mt
cch u ym:"y, em yu, tr li nh hi su tui th nh th no?"
Nng m mt mt:" Oi anh ng nghch, em mun ni c o s su."
A NEW MACHINE
The doctor asked the expectant father to try out a machine he had invented that transferred labour pains
from the mother to the father. Billy agreed and the machine was set up. But although it was set to its
highest setting, Billy felt not
a twinge.
Later that day he went home to pick up a few items his wife wanted and discovered the milkman
lying on his door step groaning in pain.
CHIC MY MI
Mt bc s hi mt ngi chng c v sp sinh rng c mun th chic my ng ta mi sng ch
chuyn cn au t ngi m sang ngi cha khng.Billy ng v chic my c ci vo.Nhng
mc d chic my chy ht cng sutBilly cng khng thy au n g c.

Sau anh ta v nh ly vi th v yu cu v thy ngi a sa ang nm trc ca rn r

au n.
DRUNK
Bob visited his friend Joe's house and was amazed at how well Joe treated his wife. He told her
several times how attractive she was, complimented her on her culinary skills and showered her
with hugs and kisses.
"Gee," Bob remarked to his friend, "you really make a big fuss over your wife."
"I started to appreciate her more about six months ago," Joe said. "It has revived our marriage, and we
couldn't be happier."
Inspired by Joe's story, Bob hurried home, hugged his wife, told her how much he loved her, and said
he wanted to hear all about her day. Instead she burst into tears.
"Darling," Bob said, "whatever's the matter?"
"This has been the worst day I've had for a long time," she replied. "This morning Billy fell off his bike
and hurt his ankle,then the washing machine broke down. Now, to top it off, you come home drunk!"
SAY
Bob n thm nh Joe v kinh ngc trc li i x tt ca bn i vi v.Anh ta ni vi v n my
ln l nng hp dn ra sao, ca tng ti nu n kho lo ca nng v m hn v nh ma.
"A," Bob lu bn,"anh quan trng ha v anh ln y."
"Ti bt u nh gi nng cao hn t khong su thng nay," Joe ni."iu lm sng li hn nhn
ca chng ti, vchng ti hnh phc n khng th hnh phc hn c na."
Ly cm hng ca bn, Bob vi v v nh, m v, ni cho nng nghe l anh yu nng bit bao nhiu, v
ni anh mun nghe mt ngy nng lm vic ra sao.Thay vo nng bng a khc.
"Em yu," Bob ni, "Vic g xy ra vi em vy?"
" y l ngy ti t nht ca em lu nay," nng p." Sng nayBilly t xe p v b au mt c, sau
my git b h.By gi, thm vo , anh li say xn v nh!"
HOW TO BUY A PRESENT?
A man walked into a department store and told an assistant he'd like to buy a present for his wife.
"Certainly, sir," replied the assistant. "Perhaps a dress or ablouse?"
"Anything," said the man.

"And in what colour?"

"It doesn't matter."
"Size?"
"Immaterial."
Seeing the assistant's confusion, the man explained that whenever he bought his wife something
she would always take it back to the shop and exchange it.
"Why don't you get a gift voucher instead?" the assistant asked him.
"Oh no," said the man. "That would be too impersonal."
LM TH NO MUA MT MN QU?
Mt ngi n ng i vo mt gian ca hng v ni vi ngi bn hng ng ta mun mua mt mn qu
cho v.
"c, tha ng," ngi bn hng p. "C l mt ci o m hay mt ci o cnh c chng?"
"G cng c," ngi n ng ni.
"Cn mu?"
"Khng quan trng."
"C?"
"Chuyn nh."
Thy s lng tng ca ngi bn hng, ngi n ng gii thch rng mi khi ng ta mua cho v ci g
th b ta lun em n tr li shop v i.
"Ti sao ng khng mua mt phiu tr tin thay vo ?" ngi bn hng hi.
" khng," ngi n ng ni. "Nh th th qu v tnh."
RELATIVES ?
A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neitherwanted to concede their position. As they
passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives ofyours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."
B CON ?

Mt cp v chng li xe i vi dm xung mt con ng ng qu, khng ni mt li.Mt cuc tranh

lun trc gy ra mt cuc tranh ci, v khng ngi no mun nhn quan im ca mnh
thua.Trong khi h i qua sn nui la v heo, ngi v hi mt cch ch nho: "B con ca ng phi
khng ?"
"ng," ngi chng tr li, " Bn pha v."
YOUR HORSE CALLED LAST NIGHT
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on
the back of the head. "I found a piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name Marylou written on
it," she said, furious. "You'd better have an explanation."
"Calm down, dear," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the races? That was the name
of the horse I backed."
The next morning, his wife whacked him again. "What was that for?" he groaned.
"Your horse called last night," she said.
CON NGA NG GI TI QUA
Mt b v i n pha sau chng v v vo sau u ng tatrong khi ng ta ang ung c ph sng."Ti
tm thy mt mnh giy trong qun ng c ci tn Mary," b ta ni mt cch gin d."ng nn
gii thch."
"Bnh tnh no, em yu," ng ta gii thch." Em c nh tun qua anh xem ua nga khng? l tn
con ngc anh nh cuc."
Sng hm sau, b v li pht mnh ng ta mt ci."Ti sao em lm th?" ng ta rn r.
"Con nga ca ng gi t qua," b ta ni.
WE'VE SAVED ENOUGH MONEY
After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Darling, we've finally
saved enough to buy what we started saving for in 1979."
"You mean a brand new Jaguar?" she asked eagerly.
"No," he replied, "a 1979 Jaguar."
CHNG TA TIT KIM TIN
Sau nhiu nm keo kit v tit kim, chng bo vi v mt tin mng:"Em yu, cui cng chng ta
tit kim tin mua ci m chng ta bt u dnh trong nm 1979."
" anh mun ni mt chic Jaguar mi phi khng ?" ngi v hn h.

"Khng," ngi chng tr li, "mt chic Jaguar i 1979."

DEATHBED CONFESSION
Jake was on his deathbed. His wife, Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile
hand, and tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He lookedup and his pale
lips began to move slightly.
"My darling Susan," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Don't talk."
He was insistent. "Susan," he said in his tired voice. "I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Susan. "Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Susan. I slept with your sister, your best friend, and your mother."
"I know," she replied. "That's why I poisoned you."
TH TI LC LM CHUNG
Jake ang lc lm chung. V anh, Susan, ang thc gic bn cnh anh ta.Ch ang cm bn tay yu t
ca anh, v ncmt chy xung mt ch. Li cu nguyn ca ch nh thc anh khi gic ng. Anh
nhn ln v i mi nht nht ca anh bt u hi nhc nhch.
"Susan yu qu ca anh," anh ta th thm.
"Im i, anh yu," ch ta ni. "Hy ngh ngi. ng ni."
Anh ta vn c tip tc. "Susan," anh ta ni vi ging mt mi. "Anh c iu phi
th nhn vi em."
"Khng c g phi th nhn c," Susan khc lc tr li. "Mi vic u n c, hy ng i."
"Khng, khng.Anh phi cht trong thanh thn, Susan. Anh ng vi em gi em, bn
thn em v m em."
"Em bit," ch ta tr li. "iu ti sao em u c anh."
AFTER THE HONEY MOON
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately
called her mother.
"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.
"Oh mamma!" she exclaimed. "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!" No sooner had she
spoken the words then she burst out crying. "But mamma . . . as soon as we returned, Sam started

using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... "
"Now Sarah . . ." her mother answered. "Calm down! Tell me,what could be so awful? What 4-letter
words has he been using?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mamma." wept the daughter."I'm so embarrassed! They're just too
awful! You've got tocome get me and take me home... please mamma!"
"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset . . . Tell yourmother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, mamma . . . words like dust, wash, iron, and cook!"
SAU TUN TRNG MT
Mt cp trai gi tr ci nhau v i hng tun trng mt. Khi h quay li, ngay lp tc c du gi in
thoi cho m.
"No, tun trng mt ra sao? " ngi m hi.
", m !" c ta la ln. "Tun trng mt th tuyt! Rt lng mn!" Chng my chc sau khi ni ra c ta
a khc. "Nhng m ... va khi ti con quay v, Sam bt u dng ngn ng kinh khip nht. Anh y
ni nhng th con cha bao ginghe trc y! Tt c u l nhng t bn ch ci1 ng s!
M phi n n con v a con v nh ... "
"No Sarah ..." m c ta tr li. "Bnh tnh no! Ni cho m nghe, ci g m qu ng s vy? Nhng t
bn ch ci no m anh ta s dng?"
"ng bt con k cho m nghe, m ." ngi con gi khc. "Con ang tht bi ri! Nhng ch qu
d s! M phi n n con v a con v nh ... nghe m!"
"Con yu, con phi ni cho m nghe ci g lm con qu bi rinh vy ... Hy ni cho m nghe nhng
t bn ch ci kinh khip ny!"
Vn cn thn thc, c du tr li, ", m ... nhng t nh rc,git, i, v nu nng!"
I HAVE TO SHOW HER ...
Everybody's heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security,super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as
"Area 51?"
Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing
at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an
interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to
run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight
during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They
gassed up his air-plane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats
of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a
heading, and sent him on his way.
The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again,
the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people inside.
The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you
have to tell her where I was last night!"
TI PHI CH RA CHO C Y
C ai nghe v cn c cc k an ninh, siu b mt ca khng lc (M) Nevada, c bit di tn
gi n gin "Vng 51?"
Vo mt bui chiu mun, ngi khng lc Vng 51 rt ngc nhin thy mt chic Cessna h cnh ti
cn c "b mt" ca h. H lp tc nht chic my bay v li phi cng vo phngthm vn.
Cu chuyn ca vin phi cng l anh ta ct cnh t Vegas, b lc v pht hin ra cn c ngay khi anh
ta sp ht nhin liu. Khng lc bt u mt cuc kim tra thng tin cn thit ca FBI v vin phi cng
v gi anh ta qua m trong sut cuc phng vn.
Vo ngy hm sau, cui cng h tin rng vin phi cng lc thc s v khng phi l mt gin ip. H
cung cp nhin liu cho chic my bay, a cho anh ta mt ch dn ng s "anh khng thy
mt cn c", cng vi nhng li e da anh tas t sut qung i cn li, ni vi anh ta Vegas c
ngbay nh th, nh th, v tin anh ta ln ng.
Ngy hm sau, trong s bt ng khng th tin c ca khng lc, cng chic Cessna xut hin tr
li. Mt ln na, qun cnh bao quanh chic my bay ... nhng ln ny c hai ngi bn trong.
Cng vin phi cng nhy ra v ni:"Cc ng lm g ti cng c, nhng v ti ang trn my bay
v cc ng phi ni vi c y ti qua ti u!"
I JUST HAD A DREAM ABOUT IT ...
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed
that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened
it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".
EM C MT GIC M V IU ...
Mt ph n tr ng tra. Sau khi c thc dy, c ni vi chng:"Em m ng rng anh tng em mt
chui ht ngc trai trong ngy Valentine. Anh ngh n c ngha g?
"Ti nay em s bit." anh ta ni.
Chiu ti hm , ngi n ng i v nh vi mt gi nh vtng v. Ngi v vui mng m n ra
- ch thy mt cunsch ta " ngha ca nhng gic m."
DON'T MESS WITH THE MAID
A rich Beverly Hills lady got very angry at her French maid.After a long list of stinging remarks about
her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.
The maid, with her Gaelic ancestry, couldn't allow such abuseto go unanswered. "Your
husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me himself."
The rich woman just swallowed and said nothing. "And furthermore," the angry girl continued, "I am
better in bed thanyou!"
"And I suppose my husband told you that, too?"
"No, Madam," said he maid. "Not your husband, the mail man!"
NG LN XN VI NGI GIP VIC NH
Mt qu b Beverly Hills ni gin c gip vic ngi Php. Sau mt bn danh sch di nhng nhn
xt kh chu v nhng li ca c ta khi nu n v qun gia, b ui c gip vic.
Ngi gip vic, vi dng mu Celte, khng th chp nhn mt s lng m nh vy ra i khng c
cu tr li. "Chng b xem ti l mt ngi qun gia v nu n tt hn b, tha b.Chnh ng ni vi
ti."
Ngi n b giu c ch nn nhn v khng ni g. "V hn na," c gi gin d tip tc, " trn
ging ti gii hn b !"
"V ti cho rng chng ti cng ni vi c iu ?"
"Khng, tha b," ngi gip vic ni. "Khng phi chng b, ng a th !"
FRIEND FOR DINNER
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't
feel like cooking afancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
BN N TI
"Em yu," chng ni vi v, "Anh mi mt ngi bn n nh ta n ti."
"Ci g?Anh c in khng? Nh ca th ln xn, em th cha i ch, chn a th d, v em khng
mun nu mt ba n k khi !"
"Anh bit ht ri."
"Vy ti sao anh mi bn n ti?"
"V thng ng ti nghip ang ngh n vic ci v."
THE SECRET
Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her."
"Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell you I told her."
"Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me."
IU B MT
Jill than phin vi Nina:"Rosey ni vi anh rng em ni vi c ta iu b mt anh
ni vi em ng ni vi c ta."
"," Nina tr li vi ging t i:" Em ni vi c ta ng ni vi anh em ni vi c ta."
"i tri!" Jill th di. "Thi, ng ni vi c ta anh ni viem rng c ta ni vi anh."
THE STATUE
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry!" she said. "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbedbaby oil all over him and then she dusted
him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this honey?" the husband inquired as he entered theroom.
"Oh, its just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smithsbought one for their bedroom. I liked it so
much, I got one for ustoo."

No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the
morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned awhile later with a sandwich and a
glass of milk. "Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smith's for three
days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water.
BC TNG
Mt ph n ang nm trn ging vi ngi tnh th c ta nghe ngi chng m ca trc.
"Nhanh ln!" c ta ni. "ng trong gc nh." C ta nhanh chng xoa du tr em ln khp ngi anh ta
v sau rc bt talc ln ngi anh ta. "ng c ng cho n khi no em bo anh," c ta th thm.
"Hy tng tng anh l mt bc tng."
"y l ci g vy em yn?" ngi chng hi khi bc vo phng.
", ch l mt bc tng," c ta tr li mt cch th . "Gia nh Smiths mua mt ci t trong
phng ng ca h. Em rt thch, em cng mua mt ci cho nh ta."
Khng ai ni g v bc tng na, thm ch c khuya hm lc h i ng. Vo khong hai gi sng,
ngi chng thc dy, i vo nh bp v quay li mt lc sau vi mt ci bnh sandwich v mt ly sa.
"y," anh ta ni vi "bc tng" , "nci g i ch. Ti ng nh mt thng ngc nh Smith trong
3 ngy v khng ai a cho ti ngay n c mt ly nc.
WISDOM TEETH
One day a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there acheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock it down to $60."
"That's still too expensive," the man says.
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I
could get away withcharging $20."
"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."
"Hmm," says the dentist, scratching his head. "If I let one of my students do it for the experience,
I suppose I could charge youjust $10."
"Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday !"
RNG KHN
Mt ngy kia, mt ngi n ng bc vo mt phng nha s v hi gi nh rng khn l bao nhiu.

"Tm mi la," nha s ni.

" l mt con s l lng," ngi n ng ni. "C cch no rhn khng?"
"," nha s ni, "nu ng khng dng thuc t, ti c th h gixung cn 60 la."
"Nh vy vn cn qu t," ngi n ng ni.
"c ri," nha s ni. "Nu ti tit kim thuc t v ch li totrng ra vi mt ci km th ti
c th tnh gi 20 la."
"Khng," ngi n ng rn r, "nh vy vn cn qu nhiu."
"Hm," nha s gi u ni. Nu ti mt trong nhng sinh vin ca ti lm thm kinh nghim th
ti cho l ti c th tnh gi ch 10 la."
"Tuyt," ngi n ng ni, "t trc cho v ti vo th Ba ti !"
HOW DID YOU DIE ?
Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. The first man asks the second. "So, how'd
you die?"
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all
your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off,
as if you're sleeping. How about you, how didyou die?"
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I
showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to
the basement, but no one was hidingthere, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding
there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic,
and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."
The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" Asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
NG CHT NH TH NO ?
Hai ngi n ng i cng ngc bt u mt cuc ni chuyn. Ngi th nht hi ngi th hai:
"Sao ng cht vy?"

"Ti b ng bng n cht," ngi th hai ni.

"Tht khng khip," ngi th nht ni. "ng cm thy ra sao khi b ng bng ti cht?"
"Trc ht ng cm thy rt kh chu", ngi th hai ni. "ng b run, v ng cm thy au tt c cc
ngn tay v chn. Nhng cui cng s cm thy rt m m ra i.
ng b t cng v ng cm thy kiu nh tri i, nh th ngang ng. Cn ng th sao, ng cht nh
th no?"
"Ti b au tim," ngi n ng th nht ni. "ng coi, ti bit v ti ang la di ti, v vy mt ngy
kia ti xut hin bt ng nh. Ti chy ln phng ng, v thy c ta mt mnh ang an . Ti
chy xung tng hm nhng cng khng ainp . Ti chy ln tng hai, nhng cng khng ai np
. Ti chy ht sc ti ln gc mi, nhng khi ti va n th ti b mt cn au tim nng v
cht."
Ngi n ng th hai lc u. "Tht qu ma mai," ng ta ni.
"ng mun ni g?" ngi n ng th nht hi.
"Nu ng ch vic dng li nhn v my p lnh th hai tahn cn sng."
WHY MY MOM LEARNT TO PLAY CLARINET?
My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn toplay the piano, so dad bought her a piano
for her birthday.A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it.
"Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead."
"How come?" I asked.
"Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing."
TI SAO M TI HC CHI CLARINET?
Ba m ti gn y ngh hu. M ti lun mun hc chi piano, v vy ba ti mua cho b mt ci trong
ngy sinh nht. Mt vi tun sau, ti hi b chi n nh th no.
", ba m tr li cy n piano." Ba ni, "ba thuyt phc m thay vo chuyn sang chi clarinet."
"Sao vy?" ti hi.
"V," ng tr li, "vi mt cy clarinet, m khng th ht."
PREGNANT

Since the wife is eight months into her pregnancy, the husband has to sleep on the floor to avoid
any regrettable mistake, which might happen pretty easily, for he has been desperate for quite a while
now...
Just before lying down on the bed, she glances at him and sees the poor guy curls up on the floor, eyes
stare widely intothe empty air, filled with hopeless desire...
Feeling sorry for her husband, she opens the top drawer of the cabinet, takes out a fifty dollar bill,
and gives it to him, "Awww,my honey is so depressed... here, take this and go to the woman next
door, she will let you sleep with her tonight... and remember that this happens only once... ok?... don't
think about it again."
The husband rolls his eyes in disbelief, but afraid that she may change her mind, he grabs the money
and leaves quickly. A few minutes later, he returns, hands the bill back to the wifeand says with much
disappointment,
"She said this is not enough, she wants sixty."
The wife's face slowly turns red with anger, "Damn that bitch... when she was pregnant and her husband
came over here... I only charged him fifty..."
C BU
V v mang bu thng th tm nn ngi chng phi ng trn nn nh trnh bt c sai st ng tic
no vn kh d xy ra, v anh ta tng liu lnh trong mt lc cho n lc y...
Ngay trc khi nm xung ging, ngi v lic nhn chng v thy anh chng ti nghip co mnh
trn sn nh, mt m totrng trng vo khong khng y ham mun tuyt vng...
Cm thy ti nghip cho chng, v m ngn ko trn cng ca t, ly ra mt t giy bc nm mi
la v a cho anh ta," , cng ca em qu bun ... y, cm ci ny v i ti c kbn nh, c ta s cho
anh ng vi c ta m nay ... v nh rng vic ny ch xy ra mt ln thi ... c ch? ... ngngh ti
iu ln na nh."
Ngi chng trn mt trong s hoi nghi, nhng s rng v c th thay i kin, anh ta cm tin v
nhanh chng ri i. Mt vi pht sau, anh ta quay li, a t bc li cho v v ni vi nhiu tht vng:
"C ta ni nh vy th khng , c ta mun su chc."
Khun mt ngi v dn dn bng v gin, "Con ch ci ng nguyn ra ... khi n c bu
v chng n i qua y ... tao ch i chng n c nm chc..."
MILLIONAIRE
A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."

"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire..."
TRIU PH
Mt ph n ni vi bn:"Chnh ti l ngi lm chng ti thnh mt triu ph."
"V ng l g trc khi bn ci ng?" ngi bn hi.
Ngi ph n p:"Mt t ph..."
MALE LOGIC
A man and his wife are in court getting a divorce.
The problem was who should get custody of the child.
The wife jumped up and said, "Your Honor. I brought the child into this world with pain and labor.
She should be in my custody."
The judge turns to the husband and says, "What do you have to say in your defense?"
The man sat for a while contemplating...then slowly rose.
"Your Honor, if I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out...whose Pepsi is it...the
machine's or mine?"
LOGIC N NG
Mt ngi n ng v v anh ta ang trong ta n ly d.
Vn l ai s gim h a tr.
Ngi v nhy ln v ni:"Tha qu ngi, ti a a tr vo th gii ny trong cc nhc v cn
au .N ng ra phi trong s gim h ca ti."
Quan ta quay qua ngi chng v ni:"ng phi ni g bin h?"
Ngi n ng ngi xung trm ngm mt hi ... sau t t ng dy.
"Tha qu ngi, nu ti t mt la vo my bn hng v mt lon Pepsi i ra ... lon Pepsi l ca ai ...
ca my hay cati?"
MEDICAL MIRACLE
An 80 year woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months together, the woman wasn't
feeling well and she went to her doctor.
The doctor examined and said, "Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you're going to be a mother."

"Get serious doctor, I'm 80."

"I know," said the doctor, "This morning, I would have said it was impossible, but this afternoon you are
a medical miracle."
"I'll be darned," she replied and stormed out of the office. She walked down the hall and around the
corner to where the telephones were. In a rage, she dialed her husband.
"Hello," she heard in his familiar halting voice.
She screamed, "You rotten SOB. You got me pregnant!"
There was a pause on the line. Finally, her husband answered, "Who's calling please?"
PHP L Y HC
Mt b lo 80 tui ci mt ng lo 85 tui. Sau su thng chung sng, b lo cm thy khng khe v
b i bc s.
Bc s khm v ni:"Xin chc mng, bc Jones, bc s l mt b m."
"Hy nghim tc, bc s, ti 80 tui.
"Chu bit," bc s ni,"sng nay, chu hn s ni iu ny bt kh, nhng chiu nay bc l mt php l
y hc."
"Ti s b nguyn ra," b lo tr li v i xc ra khi phngmch. B i xung hnh lang v quanh
gc nh ni in thoi. Trong mt cn gin, b quay s gi chng.
"Hello," b nghe ging ngp ngng quen thuc ca ng.
B la ln:"ng CH i bi. ng lm ti mang thai.
Trn ng dy ngng li mt t. Cui cng, chng b tr li:"Xin vui lng cho bit ai ang gi?"
SPEEDING...
A Guy and his wife are driving a car along a twisty road with a55MPH limit. Cop pulls the guy over.
"Had you going about 70 in 55 back there," says the cop.
"Not me," says the guy, "Could be your radar picked up someone else or something, but my
speedometer was set right on 55."
Wife pipes up, "You were to going 70. I've told you 20 mile back you were going to get stopped if you
didn't slow down."
"Shut up would ya!" mumbles the guy.
"Can I see your proof of insurance?" asks the cop.

"Sure, my card is right here in my wallet."

Wife says, "That card's no good and you know it. You haven't paid the last premium and the company
sent you a cancellation notice."
"Damn," yells the guy. "Would you shut the hell up for once"
"Ma'am," says the cop, "Does this guy always talk to you like this?"
"Only when he's been drinking."
CHY QU TC ...
Mt g n ng v v ang li mt chic xe hi trn con ng trn con ng khc khuu c gii hn
tc 55 dm/gi. Cnh st lnh cho anh ta dng vo v ng.
"ng chy khong 70 trong gii hn 55 pha sau kia," cnh st ni.
"Khng phi ti," g ni, "c th radar cc ng qut ai khc hoc vt g , nhng cng t mt
ca ti ch ng 55."
Ngi v ni to ln:"anh chy 70. Em ni anh gim 20 dm anh s b dng nu anh khng chy
chm xung."
"Cm m b li!" g lm bm.
"Ti c th xem giy t bo him khng?" cnh st hi.
"c, th ca ti ngay trong bp ti."
V ni:"Th khng thch hp v anh bit vy. Anh cha tr tin ph bo him va ri v cng ty
gi anh mt thng bo hy b."
"M kip," g tht ln. "B c chu cm ci mm ch cht ca b mt ln khng."
"Tha b," cnh st ni, "ng ny c lun ni vi b nh th ny khng?"
"Ch khi ng y ung ru."
ROMANCE
An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic
and wanted to talk. She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, then tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her
a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed covers
and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
LNG MN
Mt ti kia, mt cp v chng c tui ang nm trn ging. Ngi chng ri vo gic ng
nhng ngi v cm thy tnhcm dng trong lng v mun ni chuyn. B ni:"Anh thng cm tay
em khi chng ta yu nhau."
Mt cch mt mi, ng vn ngang tay, cm tay b trong mt giy, sau c quay li gic ng.
Mt lt sau b ni:"Sau anh thng hn em." Hi bc dc, ng vn ngi qua, hn vi mt ci trn
m v nm xung ng.
Ba mi giy sau, b ni:"Sau anh thng cn c em." in tit, ng qung tm tri ging v nhy
ra khi ging.
"Anh i u?" b hi.
"Ly hm rng!"
FORGET IT
"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug suggested.
"But what if my wife finds out?"
"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell herabout it!"
So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together."
"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that - it never worked."
QUN IU I
"Hn nhn ca ti khng cn g th v na," Bill ni vi bn Doug.
"Ti sao khng thm s ngoi tnh vo cuc i bn v c thm mt mi tnh?" Doug ngh
"Nhng v ti tm ra th sao?"
" qu, chng ta ang sng trong mt thi i mi, Bill . Hy th v ni vi c y v
iu !"

Th l Bill v nh v ni:"Cng, anh ngh mt mi tnh s lm cho chng ta gn nhau hn."

"Qun iu i," v ni. "Em th ri - cha bao gi hiuqu."
ON THE ROAD
After weeks on the road an over the road trucker pulled into a brothel.The trucker walked up to the
madam, slapped $500.00 on the counter and demanded "Give me a bologna sandwich and the
ugliest, meanest, most foul tempered woman in the house."
The madam looked at the trucker and exclaimed, "Sir for this kind of money you can have the best
steak with all the trimmings and two of the prettiest girls in the state."
The trucker slowly looked up and with a tear in his eye said, "You don't understand, I'm not hungry
or looking for company, I'm homesick!"
TRN NG I
Sau hng tun trn ng i, mt ti x xe ti chy vo mt nh cha. ng ta bc ti b ch cha, p
500 la trn quy v ra lnh:"Cho ti mt sanwich bologna v mt em xunht, hn h nht, tnh tnh
tm nht trong nh ny."
T b nhn ti x v la ln:"Tha ng, vi s tin ny ng cth n mn steak ngon nht v hai em
d thng nht bang."
Ti x t t nhn ln v vi git nc mt trong mt, anh tani:"B khng hiu, ti khng i v tm
bn tnh, ti nh nh!"
WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN
"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself , and stand by a stream with a stick inmy hand, while the fish swim by in
complete safety."
"Woman driver."
Really means...
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving
record than me."
"It's a guy thing."
Really means...

"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
logical."
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means...
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.
"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means...
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."
"It would take too long to explain."
Really means...
"I have no idea how it works."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"It's a really good movie."
Really means...
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."
"That's women's work."
Really means...
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
"Go ask your mother."
Really means...
"I am incapable of making a decision."
"I do help around the house."
Really means...
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"I can't find it."

Really means...
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completelyclueless."
IU N NG THC S NI
"Ti s i cu c."
Ngha thc s...
"Ti s i ung ru mt mnh, v ng bn dng nc vi cn cu trong tay trong khi c bi bn cnh
an ton tuyt i.
"Ti x n."
Ngha thc s ...
"Ai khng chy nhanh, khng bm ui xe khc mt cch nguy him, khng c
nhng c ch tc tu v c tin s li xe tt hn ti."
" l mt vn n ng."
Ngha thc s ...
"Khng c mt kiu mu suy ngh l tr no kt ni vi n, vbn khng c c hi no lm n
c logic."
" h," ", cng," hoc "Vng, em yu."
Ngha thc s...
Tuyt i chng c g. l mt phn x c iu kin nh chca Paplop chy nc di.
"V ti khng hiu ti."
Ngha thc s...
"C y nghe tt c cc cu chuyn ca ti trc , v mtmi v chng."
gii thch th qu di.
Ngha thc s...
"Ti khng c kin g n xy ra nh th no."
"Hy tm ngh, cng, em lm vic qu nng."
Ngha thc s...
"Ti khng th nghe tr chi ca my ht bi."
" l mt phim hay thc s."

Ngha thc s...

"N c sng, dao, xe phng nhanh, v Heather Locklear."
" l mt cng vic ph n."
Ngha thc s...
" l mt cng vic kh khn, d bn, v khng c bit n."
"i hi m em."
Ngha thc s...
"Anh bt lc trong vic a ra mt quyt nh."
"Anh qu c gip trong vic nh."
Ngha thc s...
Anh mt ln t khn lau mt d vo r git ."
"Anh khng th tm ra n."
Ngha thc s...
"N khng ri vo i tay vn ra ca anh, v th anh hon ton khng c du vt."
LITTLE JOHNNY
Little Johnny's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Johnny seems to be a very bright boy,
but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls."
The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem
with his Father."
B JOHNNY
Gio vin ca b Johnny gi mt giy bo v cho m n, vit:"Johnny c v l mt a b rt sng d,
nhng dng qu nhiu th gi ca n ngh v tnh dc v gi."
Ngi m vit li vo hm sau:"Nu c tm ra cch gii quyt, hy khuyn nh. Ti cng c cng vn
vi ba n."
SEX WITH GAS
There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying toincrease its sales, so the owner put up a
sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-up." Soon, a customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his
free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and if heguessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
The buyer then guessed 8 and the proprietor said, "No, but you were close. The number was 7. Sorry,
no free sex this time, butmaybe next time."
Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and
again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, andasked him to guess
the correct number.
The man guessed 2 this time and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex
this time."
As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged, and he
doesn't really give away free sex."
The buddy replied, "No, it's not rigged...my wife won twice last week."
SEX VI DU XNG
C mt cy xng nh th "vng qu lc hu" c tng s bn,v th ng ch t mt tm bng:"
xng c sex min ph." Chng bao lu, mt khch hng gh xe vo, xng, sau hi sex min ph.
ng ch ni anh ta chn mt s t 1 ti 10, v nu anh ta on ng, anh ta s c chi min ph.
Sau ngi mua on 8 v ng ch ni:"Khng ng, nhng gn ng. S l 7. Xin li, ln ny
khng c chi min ph, nhng ln ti th c th."
Mt khong thi gian sau , cng ngi n ng , ln ny i cng vi bn, cng gh vo xng, v
li ln na anh ta hi sex min ph. ng ch li a anh ta ci th nh trc, v ni anh ta on ng
con s.
Ngi n ng ln ny on s 2 v ng ch ni:"Xin li, l3. ng gn ng, nhng khng chi
min ph ln ny c."
Trong khi h li i, ti x ni vi bn:"Ti ngh rng tr ny lla o, v ng ta khng thc s cho
chi min ph."
Ngi bn p:"Khng, n khng phi tr la o ... v ti c hai ln tun qua."
TRAILING MY HUSBAND
"So," Jane asked the detective she had hired. "Did you trail my husband?"
"Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment."
A big smile crossed Jane's face. "Aha! I've got him!" she said gloating. "Is there any doubt what he
was doing?"

"No ma'am." replied the sleuth. "It's pretty clear that he was following you."
THEO DI CHNG
"Nh vy," Jane hi vin thm t c thu, "anh theo du chng ti ch?"
"ng, tha b. Ti theo. Ti theo anh y ti mt bar, ti mt nh hng xa ng v sau ti mt
cn h."
Mt n ci r rng hin ra trn mt Jane. "Aha! Ti bt c lo ta!" c ni mt cch h h."C g
ng ng lo ta ang lm g khng?"
"Khng, tha b," thm t tr li. "Tnh hnh kh r rng l anh y ang theo b."
APPLYING FOR SOCIAL SECURITY
A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security.
After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his
drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He
told the woman that he was very sorrybut he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to
gohome and come back now?" he asks.
The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."
So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair.
She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed his Social Security
application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office.
She said, "You should have dropped your pants, you mighthave qualified for disability, too."
NP N AN SINH X HI
Mt qu ng v hu i vo vn phng an sinh x hi npn.
Sau khi i trong hng mt lc lu, ng ta i ti bn nhn n.Ngi ph n ng sau bn hi ng ta
bng li xe thm tratui. ng ta nhn vo nhng ci ti v nhn ra ng ta bp nh. ng ta ni
vi ngi n b rng ng ta rt ly lm tic nhng nhng ng c v nh bp nh. "Ti sphi
v nh v quay li by gi khng?" ng ta hi.
Ngi ph n ni:"Hy ci nt o s mi ng ra."
V th ng ta ci o s mi ng ta cho thy nhiu si lng bc xon.

B ta ni:"Si lng bc trng trn ngc ng l bng chng cho ti," v b ta gii quyt n xin an
sinh x hi ca ng.
Khi ngi n ng v nh, ng ta xc ng k cho v nghe viu ng tri qua vn phng an sinh
x hi.
B ta ni:"ng m ci qun ng ra th ng c xem l b mt kh nng na."
TEN DOLLARS IS TEN DOLLARS
Stumpy Grinder and his wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland
Fair and everyyear Stumpy said, "Ya know, Martha, I'd like to get a ride in that airplane." And every
year, Martha would say "I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars .. and ten dollars is ten
dollars."
So one year Stumpy says, "Martha, I'm 71 years old, and if I don't go this time I may never go." Martha
replies, "Stumpy, thatthere airplane ride is ten dollars ... and ten dollars is ten dollars."
So the pilot overhears then and says, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you
can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say ONE WORD, then I won't charge you.But just ONE
WORD and it's ten dollars."
They agree and up they go... the pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word
is heard. He does it one more time, and there is still no word... so he lands.
He turns to Stumpy as they come to a stop and says, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get
you to holler out, but you didn't."
And Stumpy replies "Well, I was gonna say something whenMartha fell out ... but ten dollars is ten
dollars."
MI LA L MI LA
Stumpy Grinder v v Martha Portland, Maine(Hoa K). Hng nm h i ti hi ch Portland v
hng nm Stumpy ni:"Em bit khng, Martha, anh mun ci trn my bay ." V mi nm, Martha
thng ni:"Em bit, Stumpy, nhng ci my bay tn 10 la ... v mi la l mi la."
V vy mt nm kia, Stumpy ni:"Martha, anh 71 tui, v nu anh khng i ln ny anh
c th khng bao gi i c na." Martha tr li:"Stumpy, ci my bay ch l mi la ... v
mi la l mi la."
n nh th, vin phi cng khi nghe lm v ni:"Hai bc, chu s tha thun vi hai bc. Ti s a
hai bc b i my bay. Nu hai bc c th im lng trong sut cuc chi v khng ni MT LI th chu
s khng tnh tin hai bc. Nhng chmt li v nh th l 10 la."

H ng v h ln my bay ... vin phi cng lm mi vngxon v quo, ln vng v b nho,

nhng khng c li no c nghe. ng ta lm nh vy mt ln na, nhng khng c t no ... v vy
ng ta h cnh.
ng ta quay qua Stumpy khi h dng li v ni:"Tri i, chu lm mi th chu c th ngh ti lm
cho hai bc ku ln, nhng hai bc khng ku."
V Stumpy tr li:", ti sp ku ln ci g khi Martha rt ra... nhng mi la l mi la."
WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM...
Hubby : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Wife : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem
disappears.
Hubby : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Wife : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, '"What other problem can there be greater than
this one ?"
MI KHI C S C ...
Chng: Em lun em hnh anh trong ti mang ti c quan.Sao vy?
V: Mi khi c s c, khng cn bit kh gii quyt nh th no, em nhn vo hnh anh v s c bin
mt.
Chng: Em xem, anh k diu v mnh m nh th no i vi em?
V: ng, em nhn hnh nh ca anh v t nh:"S c no khc c th ln hn s c ny?"