EDITORIAL Let It Out

By Melissa McGrath Published: November 25, 2013 When we as a society stop shrugging off violence against some of our most valuable members as being a result of men be biologically made to be more aggressive, we can begin to institute change. It is time to stop making excuses. While men have biological predispositions to have higher levels of testosterone and are more muscular, these characteristics do not weigh as heavily in the violence argument as do the social agents that influence mens propensity toward violence. One of the largest social influences is gender socialization. Society teaches and enforces masculinity. Boys are supposed to be tough. They are meant to play outdoors in the woods and get dirty. If they hurt themselves they are expected to man up, take the pain, and move on. If a male shows that he is afraid or nervous or uncomfortable, theyre done for. These young boys grow into adults having the same mindset of I must not appear weak. Men funnel their emotions all too frequently. It is safe to argue that almost all people experience dejection, fear, insecurity, nervousness, anger, etc. These are traditional emotions. Society begins to impose its men are supposed to be tough mantra, and anger in particular evolves into rage and eventually into violence. The funneling of emotions begins to take a turn for the worst when a male no longer identifies his feelings. He knows that conflict involves choices, so he decides to deny that many of the common emotions exist for him (Thorne-Finch 83). Slowly the anger is stifled, and males believe that the only rational option is for this conflict to lead to violence. When a failure to express feelings is compounded with the age-old teaching that males are not supposed to appear vulnerable, males incorporate these cultural values into their beings and conform. Attention men: dont try to change your behavior to gain the approval of other men or to attract women. This is an excuse to cover your weaknesses, and appearing weak is not a bad thing. It is another natural human tendency. You dont have all the answers, you do make mistakes, you do care how other people perceive you, and you are scared of rejection. And thats okay. Women share in the same things. Psychologist Robert Glover says, Humans are attracted to each others rough edges. Men and women connect over imperfections, struggles, differences, and faults. It is not from perfection that a good relationship is built. Men and women complement each other and each one fills in and makes up for what the other is missing. When men funnel their emotions and deny that they have feelings and this happens as a result of the social norm to remain strong, powerful, and guarded anger is bound to turn to violence. When a male has a female in his life, he is more likely to be violent towards her. It is time for our society to rise to the occasion and accept the fact that men are allowed to be susceptible to the darkest of emotions sometimes. When we let our guards down, our true personalities come out. Bottling up any emotion, especially anger, can have severe ramifications. Let it out every once in a while, guys.