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(11/13/13) Tienes el porque para ser un gran doctor, she said.

Try as I might to accomplish certain tasks in ad ance o! a deadline, matters seemingly come together "hen they need to, the push and pull o! proacti ity and recepti ity. There is a necessity !or patience. In #ay I "as scheduled to !ly !rom $eathro" to $idalgo !or the entrance e%am to &a 'ni ersidad de (uadala)ara. *or years I ha e aspired to study medicine there, a campus in the city center close to a!!orda+le housing, !resh !ruit and intimate interaction "ith patients at the hospital. ,omeho", I )ust didn-t make the !light. I le!t the house "ith ample time. .o dou+t as to the importance o! e%ecuting the plan had consciously crossed my mind. /nd still, +y a series o! e ents, I didn-t make it. 0hen the ne%t opportunity to register !or the e%am arose, I completed the online !orm the same day it posted. Then, +y a single day, I missed the deadline to e!!ect payment to the 'ni ersity !or the e%am1 an o ersight, inconsistent "ith my eagerness. I! I had scored "ell enough on the e%am in #ay, I likely "ould ha e commenced study at ' de ( in /ugust, and not enrolled this !all semester at #iami 2ade 3ollege to complete the !inal course requirements o! /merican medical schools. The !irst iteration o! this essay came together +e!ore meeting "ith a kind, medical school admissions ad iser, though his use o! the "ords per!ect in re!erence to the essay and diamond in the rough in re!erence to the candidate inspired me to start again. ,he "as sitting in the "indo" seat on the 145 +us. I cannot say "hat dre" me to her, +ut I took the aisle seat +y her side. ,he initiated con ersation a+out !i!teen minutes into the ride, telling me it-s nice ho" I take care o! my +ody, isi+le in running gear and a +ase+all cap, to keep it up, that the doctors at 6ackson #emorial "here she under"ent surgery also took good care o! their physiques. $er "ords, 7ou ha e the "hy8, the reason,9 to +e a great doctor. $o" did she kno", "hen a certainty o! kno"ing had )ust descended upon me the day +e!ore: /nd there it "as, the impetus, deli ered unkno"ingly +y a +ene olent presence. /n indi idual-s percepti+le need !or e%ternal ackno"ledgment "a%es and "anes; yet, past e ents and ha+itual +eha iors lend themsel es to an indi idual-s typical pattern and degree o! demand. To +e a success!ul physician, one must ha e a tremendous capacity to gi e "hile simultaneously maintaining her o"n health in good standing. <oundaries must +e in place, +ut a high degree o! tolerance !or ta%ation is essential. #edical "ork touches on the sacred. I pondered upon my return to the +lock !rom a isit home1 ho" do you kno" "hen someone is in your hands, especially "hen handling that person isn-t easy: 0here do you dra" the line o! tolerance !or the disquieting "ords and actions o! the other, the e!!ects o! "hich are a+undantly clear: #y neigh+or is a compulsi e liar, a near te%t+ook sociopath. $e needs treatment to heal, the question is, "hat kind: .ot e en a sociopath can +e regarded as an entirely male olent presence. In some respect he is trapped "ithin himsel!, trapped +y his necessity to connect "hile inhi+ited !rom connecting compassionately due to the nature and inordinate magnitude o! his needs.

&ured to the stadium a!ter =rganic 3hemistry class this morning >actually in route to meditate, prayer!ully> I happened upon a ?um+a@thon, !eaturing 0ally 2iaA. =n a ta+le inside the doors there "as a take home test, unsuspecting o! my gaAe1 3&B144C Bsychology o! Bersonal D!!ecti eness. 0hich o! the !ollo"ing is not a ,tress $ardiness /ttitude: read one o! the questions. I presumed the correct ans"er to +e control. 2uring class Bro!essor #uEoA made a ery compelling remark1 /nyone can spit out /F<G3. Integrating is another thing. In one "ay or another I "ill heal mysel! and the other. Bro!essional roles ena+le a distant closeness that allo"s !or the "ork to +e done, "ithout necessarily naming it as such. It-s as the Bro!essor continued to say, Technology-s great, +ut it let-s you do"n. There-s al"ays some +ug. Thus, are "e mo ing closer or !urther a"ay !rom the point: In truth, I am +etter suited to the #e%ican education system. It may take si% years rather than !our to graduate a medical doctor > my undergraduate studies constituting a sunk cost in that regard > +ut "ithout a sentient connectedness, I could rule out the pro!ession entirely. The glimmer o! hope !or a medical career in the 'nited ,tates lies in the area o! mental health. I "ill +e an inno ator on the question o! "hat kind. It-s )ust a matter o! time. I "as "rong. /ccording to the medical de!inition the three associated qualities are control, challenge and commitment. The incorrect ans"er "as cooperation. $o" does one not cooperate in the case o! resource constraints: Thank you !or your consideration. (1H/11/13) In class today he commented, 7ou can +e ery +right, +ut that-s not enough to +e success!ul. /nother among my e aluators, the one "ho strikingly suggests a distinct !orm o! genius and has +een diagnosed "ith /22//2$2, apparently did not yet su+mit a letter. .o harm done. /ccording to the /#3/, hotline e aluators are e%empt !rom the deadline, though limits must +e in place. ' c:

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