34 Young Children September 2009

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WHEN PARENTS ARE INVOLVED IN SCHOOL, their chil-
drens achievement improves. Children make friends more
easily and are more successful learners (NCPIE 2006).
Children whose families participate in school activities stay
in school longer and take more advanced classes (Barnard
2004). But the greatest benet to children of a successful
home-school partnership is that children are more moti-
vated to succeed (Hoover-Dempsey et al. 2005).
To connect parents with school, teachers need to learn
the best ways to share information and thereby build
bridges and strong ties with families. They need to nd ways
to establish positive relationships by shifting from a focus
on childrens problems to afrming childrens strengths.
Such approaches can improve classroom-home communica-
tions and encourage all families to become involved.
Knowing and understanding families
Most parents can remember what it felt like to take their
child to school for the rst time. Those hours seemed
endless. Was she OKsmiling, crying, or hurt? Could you
hardly wait to see her? What positive things did her teacher
have to say when you picked up your child after her rst
day at kindergarten? If you waited to learn what she did on
her rst day and the teacher didnt say anything at all, were
you crushed? Had you hoped that she would tell you what
a nice little girl you had (in other words, that youd done a
good job)?
Many parents need afrmation and reassurance to build
trust and deal with their feelings of uncertainty, inad-
equacy, or sometimes even intimidation. Those of us who
are parents and became teachers never forget how impor-
tant parental afrmation is.
Parents appreciate a teachers afrmation that they are
doing a good job, just as they want others to see the best
in their child. A rst-time parent leaving a child for the day
said to the teacher, Heres my heart, please keep it beat-
ing until you hand it back to me. It is a sacred thing for a
teacher to have that responsibility. It is important for all
educators to tune in to the way parents see their children.
The book Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking
(Gladwell 2005) suggests that a 10-minute conversation
that shows personal interest can make all the difference in
establishing a personal relationship. We want to build con-
Katharine C. Kersey, EdD, is a professor of early childhood, an
educator, and the director emeritus of the Child Study Center at
Old Dominion University (ODU) in Norfolk, Virginia. She is the
former chair of ODUs Department of Early Childhood, Speech
Pathology, and Special Education and is a child behavior expert,
TV consultant, teacher and parent educator, author, and speaker.
kkersey@odu.edu
Marie L. Masterson, PhD, is the early childhood specialist for the
Virginia Department of Education and adjunct professor of early
childhood education at Old Dominion University. She is coordina-
tor of the ODU Directors Institute and an educational researcher,
child behavior consultant, and speaker. mmasters@odu.edu
Teachers Connecting with Families
In the Best Interest of Children
Katharine C. Kersey and Marie L. Masterson
Young Children September 2009 35
nections between the family and the teacherthe sooner
and stronger, the better. If we rst connect with parents in
positive ways, then strong and trusting relationships will
already have been established when problems come along.
Overcoming parents reluctance
Sometimes individual parents may be reluctant to con-
nect with teachers, and there are many personal reasons
why. While visiting a grown son who was living in a con-
verted inner-city school building, a father said, This place
gives me the creeps. The hallways reminded him of his
childhood experiences and that his own father had died
while he attended a school in a similar building. His memo-
ries affected his present feelings. Other parents may still
have unresolved feelings of failure and discontent carried
over from their school experiences and worry that their
children may not succeed. As teachers, it is important for
us to remember that not all adults had good experiences in
school and we may have to work hard to dispel their per-
ceptions and fears.
There are reasons a parent might feel intimidated by a
teacher or hesitant to come to a conference. One parent
expressed frustration that he left a meeting at work and
drove 45 minutes during the worst trafc of the day, only to
have 10 or 15 minutes with his childs teacher! Other par-
ents say that they did not feel welcome at their childrens
school. Sometimes, parents can feel a teacher is question-
ing their competence, and so when they come for a meet-
ing, they are defensive. Parents could be anticipating bad
news. They may be surprised if the teacher has something
nice to say. Teachers need to build parents condence that
their school encounters will result in positive interactions
and success for their child.
At times, when parents hesitate to become involved,
it may be because they feel inadequate in terms of their
education or perhaps are unable to read. Teachers may
use language a parent doesnt understand or describe a
childs progress in educational jargon, which the parent
is reluctant to admit confuses him. Parents may cringe at
the thought of being asked questions they cant answer.
And most of all, parents dont want to feel judged for their
childs problems, behaviors, or poor progress.
Distrust and uncertainty work both ways. Teachers
themselves can feel intimidated by parents. In some cases
a parents strong personality comes across as demanding
or accusatory. Teachers may worry about being caught off
guard or asked a question that is not easily handled. They
too could fear being judged or embarrassed. One teacher
said that at the end of a parent-teacher conference, she
experienced an awkward
moment when she tried to
shake hands with the par-
ent, a practice she didnt
know was considered
disrespectful in the fam-
ilys culture. She now takes
the time to learn about the
cultures of the children in
her class. Setting parents
at ease and helping them
know that as teachers we
want the same things they
want for their children is
well worth the time and
energy it takes.
Sharing information with families
The positive interactions teachers use to create con-
nections with parents are in the best interest of the child
(Hamre & Pianta 2005). Successful teachers make it their
business to connect with families and plan ways to build
If we first con-
nect with parents
in positive ways,
then strong and
trusting relation-
ships will already
have been estab-
lished when prob-
lems come along.
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36 Young Children September 2009
strong relationships with children and par-
ents. Setting up an open and positive system
of teacher availability supports cooperative
and productive teacher-parent relationships.
The following suggestions illustrate some
specic ways to build bridges and strengthen
the bond between teacher and parent. Using
strategies such as these can ensure that
when challenges come, a strong foundation
is already in place.
Before and at the start of school
Send a personalized postcard to every child,
saying, See you soon at school. Youll
make friends and enjoy learning!
Make a phone call to each child: I am call-
ing to talk to Maria. I am your new teacher,
and I look forward to seeing you.
Have an open house for children and families as an orienta-
tion to school. Let the children explore the room so they
will feel safe. Join the children at their level when you talk
to set them at ease. Introduce children and families with
common interests.
Plan a Welcome Parents meeting when the school year
begins to show families that you care about their ideas
and interests. Ask each family to complete a question-
naire to help you learn the childs interests, strengths,
pets, and hobbies. Ask for information about allergies
and special concerns.
Begin the meeting with a Family Introduction Circle.
Whose mom or dad are you? Tell us something about
________ [childs name]. What would you like every-
one to know? Do you have something you would like
to share with the children about your job, hobby, or a
special interest? Hand out copies of daily schedules,
menus, and other items. Provide copies in the home lan-
guages of the families in the
group. Plan time for a group
of parents to get to know
each other, and help them
nd ways to connect.
Make and share a Me
Bag. Bring special items
that show and tell about
you personally. Let families
get to know you and about
the things you love. You
can share the same Me Bag
with the children when
school begins, and let the
children bring in their Me
Bags as well.
Throughout the year
Call children at home. Leave a message on the home
answering machine during the school day. Jamal, I am
calling to say I noticed you helping Brandon on the play-
ground. He seemed grateful for your help. It takes 15
seconds, and Jamal may never want to erase it. Set aside
a time each week to make these calls, and keep a list to
make sure to include every child.
Send home a Great Moments! certicate. Attach a digital
photo to the certicate and highlight a special contribu-
tion, a kind gesture, or clever words a child has used.
Send three to ve certicates each day to ensure each
child receives one during the week.
Use the phone to share news. Ask parents to let you know
when they are available, and then set up a schedule so
they can look forward to hearing from you. Be available
for parents to call you at a set time if they have questions
or want to talk. When a child is sick, it is appropriate to
call her home to let her know she is missed.
Send e-mail communications. Today we had a picnic. We
went outside under a tree. Ask Carmen to tell you what
she did. Do this frequently so parents come to associate
e-mails with memories of their childrens experiences.
Say at least one positive thing each time you see a parent.
Danny has such a wonderful sense of humor. Teresa
told me about your camping trip. Run after a parent to
say, I want to tell you . . . ! Parents will enjoy hearing
about interesting things their child has done and learned.
Record the positive things children do. Place them on
3 x 5 cards in a notebook you can share each time you
see a parentanother opportunity to connect. Focus on
conveying the message, I notice your child!
Setting up an
open and posi-
tive system of
teacher avail-
ability supports
cooperative
and productive
teacher-parent
relationships.

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Young Children September 2009 37
Encourage parent volunteers. Any time you invite a
parent to class, the child will feel excited and special.
Encourage parents to read, share some expertise, or tell
about a special interest. Let the parents child help. Find
creative ways for parents to make meaningful contribu-
tions to the classroom that can t in their schedules
(organizing child portfolios, photo copying, planning par-
ties, or preparing for an art, music, or dramatics activity).
Send home weekend project packs with activities par-
ents and children can do together. An example of what
to include is a class mascota stuffed animal that takes
turns going home with the children; have the families
keep a diary of its activities. Children will take pride in
bringing home the toy and then sharing their diary entry
with classmates when the mascot returns to school.
During and after parent conferences
Focus on a childs natural strengths. Afrm the child.
Share special traits and unique capabilities. Judys block
buildings are complex and inventive. Joey shows com-
passion to his peers. Jasmine enjoys exploring new art
materials. A teacher can help parents see the potential
in their child and encourage them to support and nurture
the childs gifts at home.
Always get the parent to talk rst. Say, Tell me about
your child. The parent may ask, What do you want to
know? You can respond, Anything you want to tell me.
Such an approach lets parents take the lead and feel
relaxed and open to a conversation.
Ask parents for their perspectives. Parents are experts
about their child and may describe a childs strength or
need. When they mention a strength, ask, How do you
support her at home? When they tell you about a prob-
lem, ask, How do you deal with that?
Ask for help! If the child is experiencing difculty at school
and you think the parent needs to get involved, you might
introduce your concern by saying, There is something Id
like your help with.
Focus on one important issue. When you have concerns,
choose one that you think can be helped or xed. First,
identify it, and then brainstorm some solutions. Together
with the family you can agree to a plan. I will work on
this at school, while you work on it at home. Lets set an
appointment to get together again in two weeks. This
tells parents that by working together you can help the
child succeed.
Start and end on positive notes. Tell something good
rst. It lets the parents relax and know you notice special



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things about their child. Make sure to end with a commit-
ment. I appreciate and value the time that I share with
your child, and I want to help her develop and learn.
Send a reminder. Call or send an e-mail the day before to
conrm the next appointment. If you cant come that day,
when is it convenient for you to come?
When parents are not able to come to school
Share successes immediately. With parental permission,
allow a child to call a parent during the day to tell about
something great he just did. You can call also: I want you
to know that Joshua counted to six in Spanish today!
Videotape childrens activities, presentations, and special
accomplishments. Send the tape home on loan for parents
to appreciate what they see their child learning and doing.
Or upload the video to the school or classroom Web site.
Send home daily sheets. Use photos and descriptions
to show parents the activities and learning in which the
children are engaged.
Fill a class newsletter with highlights of community
activities, parenting and positive guidance tips, and infor-
mation about the class curriculum. Children can help
write the news for this newsletter!
Use afrmations to connect with families
With parents, use every opportunity to connect posi-
tively: I cant wait to see you and tell you all of the wonder-
ful things your child is doing! When a teacher adopts this
attitude in her interactions with parents, they will eagerly
join in to support school and classroom activities for their
child. Tell parents what the child is learning about himself,
new friends, the world, and the outdoors. Parents need to
hear what children are learning socially and how they are
becoming successful. It is our job as teachers to help each
child navigate the world successfully. We can give parents
hope and condence that their child is well on his way to
achieving that goal.
It is always in the best interest of the child to connect
with parents. When teachers and parents build connections
and work together, children are more successfulboth
academically and socially. The relationships teachers form
early with parents help children become socially and emo-
tionally competent and do better in school (Walker et al.
2005). As a result, children have fewer behavior problems
both at school and at home (NCPIE 2006). Family connec-
tions built when children are young pay off in a lifetime of
rich dividends for the child.
Teachers can tell families, I hear about you all the time.
I heard what a great thing you all did together last night.
These positive afrmations make a parent feel relaxed and
proud. You the teacher are building bridges. You have a
lasting impact on parents when you share your values and
your goals for their children. You empower parents to be
more successful in their parenting role when you connect
them positively to their childs teacher and to school.
Once families feel comfortable and understand how
important they are to their childs success, a strong rela-
tionship begins. The partnership strengthens as school and
teacher become a source for positive information. Through
this approach to building connections, teachers create
authentic, caring relationships with families, and parents
become active participants in their childs success.
References
Barnard, W.M. 2004. Parent involvement in
elementary school and educational attainment.
Children and Youth Services Review 26: 3962.
Gladwell, M. 2005. Blink: The power of thinking
without thinking. New York: Little, Brown.
Hamre, B., & R. Pianta. 2005. Can instructional and
emotional support in the rst-grade classroom
make a difference for children at risk of school
failure? Child Development 76 (5): 94967.
Hoover-Dempsey, K., M. Walker, H. Sandler,
D. Whetsel, C. Green, A. Wilkins, & K. Clos-
son. 2005. Why do parents become involved?
Research ndings and implications. Elementary
School Journal 2 (106): 10530.
NCPIE (National Coalition for Parent Involve-
ment in Education). 2006. Whats Happening.
A new wave of evidence: The impact of school,
family and community connections on student
achievement. www.ncpie.org/WhatsHappening/
research January2006.html
Walker, J.M., A.S. Wilkins, J.R. Dallaire, H.M. Sandler,
& K.V. Hoover-Dempsey. 2005. Parental involve-
ment: Model revision through scale development.
The Elementary School Journal 106 (2): 85104.
Copyright 2009 by the National Association for the Educa-
tion of Young Children. See Permissions and Reprints online
at www.naeyc.org/yc/permissions.

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