Teaching Sexual Ethics Consent Rules!

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1. =o = =o. <6 a part0er sa:s /tB el/e$e /t. Otherw/se :ou w/ll e tur0/0g
:our pote0t/al lo$er /0to :our $/ct/.. <t /s0Dt so.eo0e elseDs respo0s//l/t: to set
our l/./ts. <6 so.eo0e !oes0Dt sa: E0oBE /t certa/0l: !oes 0ot .ea0B E:es.E
2. =o a0swer !oes 0ot = :es.
3. Submission does not = consent. <6 :ou as, a0! so.eo0e sa:s E<
guessE or ECellB /6 :ou wa0t toE or EF/0e...just get /t o$er w/thE or E< !o0Dt ,0ow...E
or E<6 thatDs what :ou wa0t...E or EChate$er :ou sa:E these !o0Dt sou0! l/,e
so.eo0e /s 6reel:B happ/l:B co0se0t/0g to se3ual acts.
4. A6ter the 6act Fo6 se3G /s 0o t/.e to e H0!/0g out that a part0er !/! 0ot
wa0t a0: or the sa.e le$el o6 se3ual /0teract/o0. It is 1! m" #es$onsibilit"
to e as sure as poss/le that .: part0er /s as E/0toE se3 a0! se3ual acts as < a..
%. Each assu.pt/o0 aout :our part0erDs /0te0t/o0s or recept/$/t: that :ou
.a,e a0! act o0 /s a cho/ce that :ou are .a,/0g. The wa: so.eo0e loo,s at :ouB
the wa: the: are !resse!B that the: laugh at :our jo,esB that the: see. /0to /t F:
,/ss/0gB 6or e3a.pleGB that the: shoul! ,0ow what :ou wa0t ecause /tDs o$/ous
what :ou wa0tB that the: stop push/0g :our ha0! awa: are 0ot acts that equal
$eral co0se0t. Rel:/0g o0 our opt/./st/c rea!/0g o6 our part0erDs o!: la0guage
/s 0ot 0ecessar/tl: rel/ale. 2o as,.
&. Sex 'ith someone unable to consent is sexual assault. 2e3 w/th
so.eo0e !ru0,B sto0e!B asleepB passe!-outB retar!e!B u0!erage or otherw/se
u0ale to co0se0t /s se3ual assault. Pr/or to se3ual actsB to protect oursel$es
6ro. hurt/0g so.eo0e : co../tt/0g assaultB /t /s our respo0s//l/t: to H0! out /6
our part0er wa0ts to g/$e Fa0! ca0G co0se0t.
(. &o0se0t /s a $eral processB estal/she! w/thout coerc/o0. E5esE /s o0l:
the eg/00/0g o6 the process to estal/sh co0se0t. ECoul! :ou l/,e to hol! ha0!s?E
EChere !o :ou l/,e to e touche!?E E<D! l/,e to touch :our reastB woul! :ou l/,e
.e to?E EChat !oes /0tercourse .ea0 to :ou? >ere /s what /t .ea0s to .e.E E<
a. gla!l: us/0g a co0!o.. Two 6or.s are etter tha0 o0e- what /rth co0trol are
:ou us/0g?E EDoes that 6eel goo!?E EMa: < co-co0sp/re /0 :our orgas.?E These
are ut a 6ew e3a.ples o6 quest/o0s that help estal/sh that oth part/es are
equall: /0tereste! /0 part/c/pat/0g.
). <6 so.eo0e 6eels assaulte! the: ha$e ee0 assaulte!. A6ter the 6act /s too
late to H0! out 6or the Hrst t/.e how our part0er 6elt aout the se3ual /0teract/o0.
9aterB /6 so.eo0e 6elt that the: ha! ee0 coerce!B the0 that Ese3E was a se3ual
assaultB whate$er our /0te0t/o0 at the t/.e.
*. Someone can change thei# minds at an" $oint. For e3a.pleB /6 the:
sa: EstopE or E0oE or Ethat hurtsE 2TOP. Ce ca0 stop at a0: t/.e. To a$o/!
co../tt/0g assaultB chec,-/0 w/th :our part0er !ur/0g se3ual acts: EAre :ou !o/0g
OI?EB EDoes th/s 6eel goo!?EB EDoes th/s st/ll 6eel goo!?E are so.e wa:s o6
H0!/0g out that :our part0er /s st/ll E/0to /tE as :ou are. The#e is no +$oint o, no
#etu#n.E
1. 70!ersta0!/0g a0! act/0g o0 co0se0t /s /.porta0t.