Escamilla

Melissa Escamilla
Professor Ditch
English 113A
8 December 2014
Limitations To Our Gender
Gender is a very common topic, but there is much more to know about gender
than just femininity and masculinity. From the articles by Judith Lorber Night to His Day: The
Social Construction of Gender and Aaron Devor Becoming Members of Society: The Social
Meanings of Gender we are shown how there is much more to know behind gender construction
for males and females. These authors argue that gender is socially constructed and how we
conform to it. When gender should be the way we choose to perform it out in public. Many
people dont even realize that this is going on in the world and simply go with it. I will be talking
about, how society has socially constructed gender in our modern world today, from my own
experience. A common theme shared between both of these articles is how society has set
standards for gender construction, and people conform to it to avoid being discriminated.
Since the day we are born, the way we develop our gender begins. We first become
identified as a female or male, and we are expected to act or grow up a certain way according to
the genital that we possess at birth. Weve already been placed in categories of either feminism
or masculinity, as easy as that. Our parents are in charge of making our sex identity clear for all
to see. So at a young age we have such a huge influence from them, because we dont know any
better and its simply the way youre being raised. As we start to grow it becomes clearer to us
the way we are expected to act according to our sex. Just like Aaron Devor says in his article,
Children begin to settle into a gender identity between the ages of eighteen months and two

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years(35). Devor is giving us an introduction to what age we start to develop these skills of
identifying one another. As members of this modern world society we learn to adapt to the social
norms, by viewing others around us. Gender identity can be very confusing for some, and others
just automatically know where they stand in the world. Now that at a young age weve
developed thinking and reason of how we are supposed to act in our gender groups, we begin to
perform it.
What many dont realize is that gender is up to us and we shouldnt let ourselves be
discriminated for not conforming to these social norms. Performing masculinity and femininity
should be entirely up to us. Women are expected to be more feminine and girly rather than
being tough or masculine. The same goes for the men they are expected to look a certain way or
be more aggressive and masculine than females. In society, this is constantly changing,
nowadays. We dont realize it but the people around us can influence the way we develop our
gender identity. Judith Lorber says that, Most people find it hard to believe that gender is
constantly created and re-created out of human interaction, out of social life, and is the texture
and order of that social life(19). What Lorber is trying to show us is that we possess the power
to change and create our gender. We can choose to be a feminine male or a masculine female; it
is constantly being changed in society these days. Just like when I was younger my mother
automatically said, Since I am a girl I will wear pink. My mother saw how in society the color
pink is more of a feminine color and wanted me to fit in. Growing up, I did not agree with the
way that she tried to dress me up in order to fall under the social norms. Ive always been the girl
to wear more of the darker shades of colors. For instance, my favorite colors have always been
green and black. My mother did not agree with my choices of clothing and was upset by my
decisions. I guess you can say that I was a tomboy as society would label it; this was seen as

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rebellious to my family. To me, it was simply just a way of expressing myself and the way I felt
comfortable, was by wearing darker, loose fitting clothes. The point in my personal story is that,
you dont have to dress a certain way just because society implies it. Gender is always being
changed and we are the ones that get to choose how to perform our gender identities to the
world. People around us being influences on this makes it even more easy to change the way we
act, because we say to ourselves if he/she is doing it, then why cant I? This isnt so much of a
complex matter, it all just depends on whom you surround yourself and sometimes it depends on
the place that you live at. Social life has so much to do with the way we act or the impressions
we give off to the world. No one wants to be discriminated against, so people observe how others
are and emulate their ways.
The world is a huge place full of change everywhere we go. Things change all around us
from time to time and we either notice it or not. There are specific gender performances in
society that have been approved of and then there are some that havent. In Judith Lorbers
article she points out how roles have changed, Gendered roles change- today fathers are taking
care of little children, girls and boys are wearing unisex clothing and getting the same education,
women and men are working at the same job(21). As we can see the tables are now being
turned for men and women in society and people are becoming more and more approving of
these changes. Back in the day we would see that women were the ones that typically took care
of the children and cleaned the household. In our generations of today we now see how that has
changed, and how men are seen taking care of their children more often. This goes with what
Devor is also trying to say, Femininity according to this traditional formulation, would result in
warm and continued relationships with men, a sense of maternity, interest in caring for children,
and the capacity to work productively and continuously in female occupations(40). None of

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this applies in society anymore; women work in the same jobs as men. Whereas back then a
female was not allowed the same rights as a male, we have come a long way from that. Females
are now becoming more educated, and that has resulted in the postponement of having children.
It was much more common to have a large number of children in a family back then. Now,
families are getting smaller and smaller as the years pass. This has all become approved by the
society we live in today, and therefore it is commonly seen. If this were not approved by society,
things would be like they were years ago.
We are now informed on the social norms that are being approved. But are we aware of
the social norms that arent? If a man were to go out at night and leave his children at home with
his significant other, that would be okay. Where if the woman left her children at home with her
significant other, this would be seen as irresponsible and horrible mother parenting. There was
also a time in my life when I was in high school, that girls were seen as sex tools. A boy would
have his way with a girl and then there would be rumors of what they did going around school. It
would amaze me how the girl is the one to always be judged, yet the boy was given props.
Even though the world is a constantly changing place, there are still some traditional ideas placed
on woman and men that havent been approved of. We as people in this society dont want to go
against what is expected of us, to avoid being discriminated.
To conclude, there are many obstacles that are placed on us whether we are a female or a
male. Gender construction can be a very complex aspect in life, but we just have to learn to adapt
to the way things are. We are automatically placed under a social norm from birth according to
our sex. If we are born a female then we are expected to be feminine, if we are born a male we
are expected to be masculine. Our parents help construct this and guide us the way we are
expected to act, in order to conform to societys ways. That is why I shared my personal story on

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how my mom didnt want me to express myself the way I wanted to. She wanted me to fit in
with everyone else, to avoid attention and avoid going against what society has placed upon
females. Gender is socially constructed, and we have gender roles that have been approved and
some that havent been approved. Like when Lorber shared how men are being seen taking care
of children more often, people wear unisex clothing, and how women are getting employed at
jobs the same as men. The world is changing; some changes are for the better. If a woman goes
out at night rather than being with her child this is seen as irresponsible, but you never hear of
the men being put down for going out at night. Expectations like these that have not yet been
approved in our world today. Judith Lorber and Aaron Devor share many reasons on how they
view a socially constructed gender, and the meaning of society when it comes to gender. We all
have to become a member of this society whether it is good or bad. Why cant we just go against
these social norms for women and men? Some people do and they are constantly seen as
outsiders, because they are different from the rest. Some people can live with the whole idea of
being an outsider, and others choose to just stick with how society has constructed gender. The
way we choose to perform our masculinity and femininity is entirely up to us, being
discriminated is not an option to us it just happens. That is the theme shared between both Judith
Lorbers article Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender and Aaron Devors
article Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of Gender.

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Works Cited
Groner, Rachael, O Hara, John F. Night to His Day: The Social Construction of

Gender. Composing Gender. Bedford St. Martins Boston. New York, 2014. Print
Groner, Rachael, O Hara, John F. Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings
of Gender. Composing Gender. Bedford St. Martins Boston. New York, 2014. Print