Matthew Newman

FHS 2400
1/21/15
Essay on Family

OPTION A: WHAT IS A FAMILY?

Identify three people (it would be best if both sexes and a variety of ages
were represented). Individually, ask each person to define "What is a
family?" Your paper should. include your subjects gender, marital status, and
approximate age as well as their complete response to the question. In
addition to those three definitions, include your own definition. Note: Most
people will try to give "simple" answers. Encourage them to give complete
thoughtful answers

Family is difficult to define. There is the legal definition of family as a

group of two people or more (one of whom is the householder) related by
birth, marriage, or adoption and residing together. ((U.S. Census Bureau
2011m) the Marriage and Family Experience pg. 11). It is not difficult to
believe that not everyone agrees with this definition. One hundred, or even
fifty years ago, families were more easily defined. A man and a woman, who
adhered to the traditional gender roles, and children. This is not so today. I
conducted interviews with three people in different circumstances. The first
two interviews are with a husband, and then the wife, each sharing their own
unique ideas on marriage.
These views are those of a married man in his forties. He, who wished
to remain nameless, stated very simply that family is Any unit that work
together and cooperate in a spirit of kindness and love. They nurture and
prepare each other for the outside world. It could be a single mother with
kids. It could be two males with kids. We can see that he didnt mention
anything about legal definitions. In his opinion, it is all about how we feel
about the other person, not about the government dictating what our family
is. He said, It is about love, cooperation, and protection.
The following are the words of the previous interviewees wife. She is a
married woman in her forties, who also wished for her name to be left out.
When first asked the question, what is family, she jokingly said, anyone I
gave birth to. After a glare from her husband, she continued that a family is
a unit that you are brought into. It doesnt have to be biologically. You have

a common goal in raising a family in the same traditions and customs of that
culture. It is about learning to love each other. Arranged marriages are as
much a part of that as any other marriage. Family means being able to work
together for a common goal. However, sometimes people will not cooperate
completely, but they are still biologically part of the family. As long as you
try to include and love them, they are still family.
The final person I interviewed was my mother. She is sixty years old,
and in the process of divorce, so this is a hard topic for her. She said, The
ideal family is the traditional family, with a mother, father and children. They
all work together for the common good and teach their children. But we find
ourselves with non-traditional families. When there is a loving care taker
that can raise, love, and teach children, that is a family. When people live
together and nurture each other. They know each others problems and
triumphs. That is family.
Having seen multiple points of view, my own opinion, is that not all
families are in ideal situations. Sometimes you are thrust into a situation
with a family member that is difficult and will require patience. The key
factor is love, and the desire to support each other. I have a good friend,
who, though not biologically related, supports me and is always there for me.
I consider him family, and he looks at me the same way.

References:
Strong, B, & Cohen, T. F. (2014). The marriage and family experience:
Intimate relationships in a changing society (12th ed.). Belmont, CA:
Wadsworth