Fairlady April 2015

FAIRLADY
4
Anne
Hathaway
blows us a
OF SAS
LOVELIEST
CELEBRITIES
in 8 designer
dresses
birthday kiss
(at special
prices
for you!)
exclusive!
SUZELLE DIY
AS HER
REAL SELF
HOW TO
MAKE
YOUR EX
WISH HED
NEVER
LEFT
THE
SCIENTIST
WHO SAYS
WOMENS
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MAKE
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WOMEN
WHO STARTED
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GREAT READS
19 PEOPLE WE ADMIRE

Quantum physicist

Buyisiwe Sondezi

ON THE COVER

20 A QUESTION OF TASTE

Six entrepreneurs who
turned their love of food

into a catering business
Happy
birthday
to us!
ON THE COVER
24 EXCLUSIVE: SUZELLE DIY

as her real self, Julia
Anastasopoulos
ON THE COVER
30 HAVE YOU BEEN
MISDIAGNOSED? Is modern
medicine letting us down?

ON THE COVER
34 DONT GET MAD, GET SUPER
SUCCESSFUL These celebs
made it big after a break-up
ON THE COVER
38 IS FRACKING REALLY THAT
BAD? We bring you both
sides of the story
42 STAGE PRESENCE Theatre
fundi Jennie Reznek
ON THE COVER
46 COVER STORY Why Anne
Hathaway is getting the
last laugh
50 MY DAD KILLED MY MOM
AND HIMSELF Tamsyn-Lee
Browns poignant story
54 AMANDA PALMER of the
band Dresden Dolls teaches
us to ask for what we need
ON THE COVER
58 CURVOLOGY Why womens
butts are the key to human
survival

ON THE COVER
62 GRAHAM NORTON The
talk-show host on celebs,
fans and being a fanboy
66 TRAVEL: A TASTE OF TALLINN

The enchanting Estonian
capital
70 MONEY MATTERS Why you
must have a will
110
104
24
20
FASHION
16 FASHION UPDATE Whats on

our fashion radar this month
ON THE COVER
80 4 CELEBRITIES MODEL OUR
50TH BIRTHDAY DRESSES
US special prices on
PL

cks!
these one-off designer fro
88 DENIM DIRECTORY Where
to shop the latest looks
90 DENIM Q&A
92 EVERYDAY DENIM MUST-
HAVES

FOOD
WELLBEING
74 HEALTHY LIVING The latest

health news and what
dieticians can offer you
76 MY ACHY-BREAKY BACK
The low-down on back pain

BEAUTY
14 BEAUTY UPDATE Our pick of

the best beauty products
94 LET IT GLOW How to restore
your skins radiance
100 9 STEPS TO STRONG,
BEAUTIFUL NAILS
104 EASTER LUNCH Enjoy the

bounty!
110 YOUR DAILY BREAD Delicious
international Easter bakes
116 WINE OCLOCK We answer
FAQs about wine

EASY LIVING
120 IN YOUR HOME

122 IN YOUR KITCHEN
124 IN YOUR GARDEN
126 YOUR PETS
128 TEST HOUSE BEST BUYS
We test mattress protectors
PLUS all you need to know
about mattresses

100
THIS MONTHS
7 EDS LETTER
10 LETTERS Your say
118 BOOKS The latest reads
138 PUZZLES Get stuck into
our crossword pages
142 SUDOKU
143 HOROSCOPES Your stars
144 STOCKISTS
146 LAST WORD The Binky
principle

READER
OFFERS
132 SUBSCRIBE NOW to our

digital edition and you
could win one of 12 Clarins
hampers worth R2260 each
ON THE COVER
133 WIN! 50 lucky readers
can each win one of our
50 giveaways
COVER: MANAGEMENT+ARTISTS
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20
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PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE, INSTAGRAM, SUPPLIED.

HAIR: CHERYL PARKER. MAKEUP: ALGRIA FERREIRA
50
is
This month Im loving...

1
FAIRLADY at
50! This is the
first ever cover
of FAIRLADY, in
March 1965:
a real measure
of just how
much things
have changed
over the past
50 years
Clarins Blue Orchid

Face Treatment Oil
This is the most amazing stuff:
Ive been using it at night
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trick. Despite the fact that weve
long forgotten we ever had an
end-of-year break as have you,
Im sure my skin still seems
to think its on holiday: all rested
and plump (although the latter
may also be thanks to the
chocolate grappa). Really good.
4
This Instagram post
Quintessentially South
African, original and
irreplaceable thats us!
Bottega Gianduia
Chocolate Grappa
Ive discovered its an
excellent dessert, too:
not only do you have to
do nothing other than
provide glasses, its a
shot of deep, rich chocolate perfection that isnt
overly sweet. Delicious!
H is for
Hawk
by Helen
MacDonald
I love, love
love this.
Helen writes
beautifully
and unsentimentally, somehow managing
to make two extremely personal
things her own devastation at
her fathers death, and her obsession with falconry matter deeply
to us. A truly amazing book.
this
year!
And, like all good 50-year-old women, we know we wouldnt

be standing here without the support and love of our
girlfriends, and that means YOU. Thank you for your
generosity over the years for sharing your hopes, your
dreams, your sadnesses, your joys, your worries, your
problems and your excellent solutions the very fabric
of your lives with us.
You have made us what we are: an original and positively
South African voice, offering strong, intelligent stories about
the reality of living a productive and connected life right here
and right now. After five decades, FAIRLADY is still the
magazine for thinking South African women who need
to engage as well as escape.
But enough about us what about you?
When were discussing the features we want to write, and
the people we want to feature, this is the reader we keep in
mind; this is who you are to us:
Youre rainbow-coloured, urban, smart, warm, real.
Youre a modern South African woman who is passionate
about her country, and wants reasons to be positive and
optimistic about her future here. You may be in a relationship,
you may be a mother and you may be a career woman, but
you dont define yourself exclusively in any of those terms:
you are more than all of them.
Youre more seduced by real value than by hype, and more
taken by kindness than by cool. Youre health-conscious and
active and wish you were more so. You want more money,
more time and to lose five kilograms (why do we all want to
lose five kilograms?!). You see yourself as part of something
bigger: a relationship, a circle of friends, your family, your
community, your country, the world. You define yourself by
the strength of those relationships, and your connectedness
to these things.
Thank you for defining who FAIRLADY is.

We look forward to our next 50 years together!
SUZY BROKENSHA
EDITOR sbrokensha@fairlady.com
Fairlady|April 2015 7
fashion
CONNECT
SUPPORT
CELEBRATE!
FASHION EDITOR
CARA-LEE RUDITZKY
PHOTOGRAPHER
ANL VAN DER MERWE
4 fabulous celebrities
and 8 gorgeous dresses
When Mantsho, Leigh Schubert, Amanda
Laird Cherry and Habits agreed to design
8 gorgeous red dresses for us to celebrate
FAIRLADYs 50th birthday and offer them
to you at a special price, we were thrilled
and the cherry on the top was when
four of South Africas loveliest celebrities
(both inside and out), Jo-Ann Strauss, Lira,
Vanessa Haywood-Sandes and Amy
Kleinhans, agreed to model them for
us. Were even more delighted that in
keeping with FAIRLADYs stubborn belief
that we can all change the world, a good
percentage of the proceeds from the
dresses will go to The Pink Ladies
Organisation for Missing Children
(http://www.pinkladies.org.za).
Enough is enough.
What makes you

feel strong?
To celebrate our 50th

birthday, we teamed up
with Spree.co.za to bring
you a one-off designer
dress collection by four
of SAs top fashion
designers. The brief?
A red dress for a strong,
beautiful woman. And
who better to show
them off than four of
our fave SA faces? The
designers are offering
these eight gorgeous
dresses for a special
price on Spree.co.za.
And were spreading the
love, too: a portion of the
sales will go to The Pink
Ladies, an organisation
that supports the SAPS
in their work to find
missing persons.
Lira: Being able to decide what is best

for me and my career, and then pursue
that. I have a lot of love and support
from my husband and business partner,
my friends and family and most
importantly, my incredible fans!
What does being a South

African woman in 2015
mean to you?
Jo-Ann Strauss: It means living in

a country filled with opportunity and
contradictions and being able to do my
best to make sure I leave my Mzansi in
a better state than I found it in.
Lira
wears ...
THE ANDONI
DRESS (R999)
BY MANTSHO
STUD EARRINGS (R175) AND RING (R350) LOVISA;

HEELS (R1 990) EUROPA ART
Jo-Ann
wears ...
THE TRENCH
DRESS (R795)
BY LEIGH
SCHUBERT
EARRINGS (R350) LOVISA;
HEELS (R499) ZOOM
CARA-LEE FINDS
HERSELF IN FRONT OF
THE CAMERA FOR A
CHANGE, FOR A TOP
BILLING SEGMENT.
LIRA AND JO-ANN

POUTING FOR THE CAMERA
FASHION ED CARA-LEE GIVES US

A PEEK BEHIND THE SCENES:
It was utter excitement on set when
we shot these four beautiful ladies.
We also had a film crew following
us about all day, so the energy was
palpable! Getting a bunch of girls
together, with loads of make-up,
gorgeous dresses and shoes, and
posing in front of the camera
MAKEUP ARTIST
KELLI PAITAKI
WORKING HER
MAGIC.
8 Fairlady|April 2015
sounds like the perfect day to us!

And the fact that we knew we were
doing this for charity made it even
more worthwhile. Its not all glitz
and glam though; long days like
these are hard work, but our celebs
were real troopers! So click click,
get shopping!
JEANNIE D CHATS
TO HER TOP BILLING
CO-PRESENTER
JO-ANN ABOUT HER
DESIGNER DRESS.
FAIRLADY BRAND MANAGER

ROXANNE CLOETE, AMY KLEINHANS
AND CARA-LEE RUDITZKY.
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WRITE TO FAIRLADY/HAVE YOUR SAY, BOX 1802, CAPE TOWN 8000 OR EMAIL letters@fairlady.com
have your say

parent ing
BY SANDRA
SEPTEMBER 2014
ALL
FIGURED
OUT! SPRING
DRESSING
Win
FAIRLADY article
saved my life
It was as if your article PCOS 101

(November 2014) was written especially
for me. As a fairly healthy 23-year-old who
has suffered with menstrual-related issues
for many years, I thought I had polycystic

Charlize
ovarian syndrome (PCOS) because the

SPRING
symptoms you mentioned matched mine.
gladness!
I was so scared that I went to the gynae.
I thought for sure shed confirm I had PCOS but she found
a six centimetre cyst on my left ovary. I was overcome with
emotion. A week later I had surgery to remove it and the doctor
said had I not come in to see her, the cyst could have ruptured
and I could have lost the ovary and possibly my life. I want to
thank FAIRLADY for that article because it literally saved me.
I want to encourage all young women to visit the gynaecologist
and not be afraid, because it might just save your life!
Kareesha, Cape Town
Ed: What an incredible story! We are so glad our story
resonated with you but even more delighted that you
sought help as quickly as you did.
FOR YOUR
SHAPE
CONNECT SUPPORT CELEBRATE!
ARE REWARD
PROGRAMMES
REALLY
WORTH IT?
MIGRAINES USUALLY
HIT BETWEEN
4 AND 9AM
and 9 other body clock

facts you should know
Ive had my mind

changed by a
strong, beautiful
woman Sean Penn
thats
our
A GORGEOUS
TRIP FOR TWO
TO ROME!
ARE YOU
PUSHING YOUR
KIDS TO
BURNOUT?
8 WAYS TO
HELP THEM
WHO
MURDERED
INGE LOTZ?
A NEW BOOK
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SKIN
SOLUTIONS
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POLITICAL
PUPPET
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dailyfix.co.za
SEPTEMBER 2014 RSA R28,50 (R3,50

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YOUR FABULOUS
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AT R4250!
The Titan Edge is
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Elegance and
sophistication is
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Crafted out of solid
steel with rose gold
PVD and scratchresistant sapphire
crystal glass, this
chic timepiece
proves that less
is definitely more.
The late Nelson Mandela

initiated the building of
Mandela School of Science
and Technology in Mvezo with
Siemens, because he grew up
in that part of the country
when there was no high
school, let alone a science and
technology facility. This new
high school will help children
and parents from rural Eastern
Cape who cant afford to
send their children to schools
further away. I would not have
known about this school if it
wasnt for your article
(December 2014) comparing
what R100 million meant to
Madiba and current president
Jacob Zuma.
Mpolwane Abongile Angel,
Franschhoek
Ed: We thought it was an
interesting comparison.
Education is so vital in SA,
and this is such a good step
in the right direction.
Response to Should
your teen take a
gap year?
My daughter Amy took a gap

year in 2004 with my wholehearted blessing. She went
to the UK to reconnect with
relatives, made friends, found
a part-time job and even paid
her own board and lodging
once she could. When she
came back she did a BA
at UJ and graduated cum
laude. Shes now a marketing
Should
your en
takeA te
GAP
YEAR?
The post-school
,
pre-universit
year is alwayy gap
huge debate,s a
for teens and both
parents, who their
often have to most
foot
the bill. But heres
why it might not
be a bad thing.
taking a gap year

is linked to higher
motivation in college.
engineering, for
instance there
But thats not easy
are
a host of other
to remember
very viable careers
as you watch your
that we might
teen flip, flop and
not even know
fluctuate. What
exist,
like app developme
might be easier
nt,
to
focus on is that
assessment, market green deal
many of us didnt
research data
actually know
mining, content
what we wanted
strategist, game
to be
when we grew
design need
up either we
we go on? If you
kind
of played it by
are forcing your
ear and hoped
own aspirations
to end
up with a job or
for
your child onto
some might
career that we
them,
they
would
probably
be happy with.
wont end up happy
breeze easily
And similarly,
many
of us are now in
neither will you). (and, as a result,
from high
careers that have
Some parents
nothing to do with
try
to force their child
school to unithe
to go into a spestudied for. Perhaps degrees we
cific career, to
versity, assured
follow
of their chosen
of our own would a little gap year
they did or to work the same career
course of study,
have made
while
for the family
others might find
a crucial and
business. Its not
it a much more
useful difference.
the
tortuous route if
Another thing
go about it, though, right way to
they
to
all. When we asked ever get there at
says Anthony
as a parent, is that bear in mind,
Antoniadou, a
you, FAIRLAD
theres a differJoburg psychomet
readers, whether
Y
ence between guiding
rist
who carries out
you thought a
your teen
career and corporate
gap
year was a good
into a career and
assessments. You
idea, 42% of you
forcing
them into
need to listen to
said NO. While
doing something
your child and
thats a sentiment
they really dont
look into the different
mothers among
the
want to do. Plus,
careers that are
us can relate to
you might not
out there.
completely (fears your
be
best equipped
Career choice aside,
teen will spend
to know what current
a year partying
your teen may
career options
be presenting the
and falling even
actually
idea
further behind
youre gently nudging are: while
as a kind of reward of a gap year
their
your teen
for, or a time out
is actually plenty peers), there
towards careers
from, a year of
of evidence that
we all knew and
exhausting studying.
understood like
This is obviously
law, medicine
your call, but even
or
if it is viewed as
56 Fairlady|Jan
a reward, a gap
uary 2015
year
ot all kids are

created equal:
A working gap
year
is not for everyon
When you start e.
earning money,
can be temptin it
to carry on. g
should still not

be viewed as a
golden
ticket to a year
off. Its a time
for
reflection, and
for thinking about
the
future. So even
if they are planning
to volunteer in
Kenya or club-hop
Europe, your teen
in
should also have
specific goals that
they need to meet
in that year. What
could be very useful, says Antoniado
u, is to do some
job shadowing
in their gap year.
We
often have a perception
of what a job
will be like, but
when we actually
it, its completely
try
different, he says.
Suggest to your
teen that they spend
a week or two
at a company where
they could see
themselves working.
I was surprised
at how many kids
came to university
not even knowing
what they were
going to major
in,
or what subjects
they were going
to
take, says one
ex-gapper. It seems
that there is a large
information gap
between school
and university
with
regards to what
is on offer out
there.
ITS A GAP
NOT A GAP YEAR,
LIFE!
If you and your

teen agree that
he or
she takes a gap
year, says Antoniadou, it needs
to a structured
break
with a time limit.
Make a deal with
your child, he
suggests. Tell
them
that they can have
a gap year, but
halfway through
the
to apply for whateveryear, they need
the following year, they plan to do
and then after
the
year is up, they
start with their
studies. To guard against
the temptation
to prolong the
gap (travelling
all over
the world, or earning
first time can both money for the
be very seductive),
you could advise
your
and gain admission child to apply
to university before the gap year,
and then defer
their
enrolment. Most
universities allow
was actually my
this, and if they
require an entrance
mom who suggesttest, it is great
to have
ed that I take a
done with, especially this over and
gap
for those who
year. I was very
are travelling,
against it at first.
so they
Ive always been
worry about getting dont have to
very academic
and I wanted to
application process through a hefty
start
studying. But I
and test when
warmed to the
they get back.
idea
and saw it as a
chance to get some
life experience
, especially as
I was
EX-GAPPERS
ON
WHAT A GAP
YEAR
DID FOR THEM
Tasneem Jakoe
only 17. Now,
t one
looking back, it
working gap
was
of the best years
year
of my life.
IT
I
worked at Roseberry
Guest Lodge
in Cape Town.
I started out doing
reception work
and housekeep
ing,
but one day the
chef needed me
in
the kitchen so
I ended up doing
lots
of cooking and
discovered a passion for it too.
I had lots of free
time
outside of work,
so I picked up
some
hobbies and volunteered
with a peer
education group.
I learned a lot
about
myself. The working
world is so
Fairlady|January
manager at just 29. Im

convinced her gap year
was a huge benefit to her.
Jane Schoeman,
Johannesburg
Ed: I watch friends kids
leaving home and it seems
so hard for both but its
a huge part of taking
responsibility for yourself.
Well done to you both!
Online
WE ASKED: How do you
plan your day out with
a diary, to-do list or
scheduling app? Or do
you tend to just wing it?
Lists, lists, lists! On my
phone, desk diary and good
ol page just to make sure
I dont forget anything.
Mandy Bowers Heynes
I set up a few appointments,

normally in the same area,
and then use my time between the appointments to
complete other tasks. Efficient, effective and I save
on petrol. Roxanne Coutts
For me, its a mixture of
a to-do list and winging it.
Natasha Ronald
We love connecting with you

online. Join the conversation
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There are so many platforms to connect with FAIRLADY

and share your opinion. Visit us on www.facebook.
com/fairladymag or www.twitter.com/fairladymag and tell us
what you think of our latest issue or an article you enjoyed.
Got more to say? Email us at letters@fairlady.com!
* Where necessary, letters have been edited.
PHOTOGRAPH: SUPPLIED
winning letter
Mandela understood
the need for quality
education
PARMEE
2015 57
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right: R600. Thats all it costs.
beauty
BEAUTY EDITOR KELLI CLIFTON
CLINIQUE SUPERPRIMER COLOUR

CORRECTS SALLOWNESS, R355
GUERLAIN
MTORITES
COMPACT LIGHT
REVEALING
POWDER IN
LIGHT, R820
BEAUTY
DESK
Dreamy skincare products,
a musky, white floral
fragrance and a new
beauty bible are
top of our list
this month.
LANCME GRANDISE
MASCARA, R399
MOROCCANOIL
GLIMMER SHINE
FINISH, R290
MAYBELLINE
DREAM PURE
BB 8-IN-1
BB CREAM,
R99,95
ELEMIS
EXOTIC CREAM
MOISTURISING
MASK, R915
NARCISO EDP
BY NARCISO
RODRIGUEZ
R1 125 FOR 50ML
ESSENCE SOO
GLOW! CREAM
TO POWDER
HIGHLIGHTER IN
20 BRIGHT UP
YOUR LIFE, R53,95
CHANEL
CC CREAM
COMPLETE
CORRECTION
SPF 50, R960
PRETTY HONEST BY
SALI HUGHES, R321,
EXCLUSIVE BOOKS
Tip
Looking for a natural, no makeup
look? CC creams are ideal if you like the look of
a tinted moisturiser but need a bit more coverage.
Plus, they address concerns like age spots and
discolouration CC means colour correcting.
Before buying a CC cream, test it out to make
sure youre getting the coverage you want.
PHOTOGRAPH: ANL VAN DER MERWE
hot off the
Cleansing Face Oil, R79.95, lipidol.com
fashion
FASHION EDITOR CARA-LEE RUDITZKY
Fresh new menswear, fashionable

workout gear and the perfect trench
fashion
FASHION INTERN: KIRSTIN GERBER. PHOTOGRAPHS:

ANL VAN DER MERWE, SDR PHOTO, SUPPLIED
UPDATE
tch
Designer to wa
Our very own ex-fashion

editor Chu Suwannapha
launched his highly anticipated
menswear collection earlier this year at
SA Menswear Week. Chu is known for
his unique way of wearing print on print
and, naturally, thats what we saw on the
catwalk when he debuted his label,
CHULAAP. CHULAAP means luck and
success, and my first collection is all
about celebrating Africa, says Chu.
IN OUR
FASHION
CLOSET
This trench landed in our fashion

closet this month and we just
had to show you gorgeous,
isnt it? Its the perfect coat for
winter and, with the cold weather
approaching, we think its a
great investment piece. R3499,
Witchery, Woolworths
WIN! WITH
CROCS
ay!
giveaw
Three lucky readers

will each win a Crocs
Colorlite handbag and pair of
Adrina III flats to the value of
R1250. HOW TO ENTER: SMS the
keyword CROCS, along with your full
name, physical or postal address and
email address to 33136. SMSes
cost R1,50. Free SMSes dont
apply. CLOSING DATE:
30 April 2015. For rules
of the competition,
see page 145.
Workout
Gear
Not feeling up to going to the gym? Motivate
yourself with some fun new workout gear
COTTON
ON Body
Active has
something
for everyone,
whether you
prefer a vest
or a long
y!
-sleeved
giveawa
tee; shorts
or capris.
Bonus?
Theyre
fashionable too.
SPORTS BRA
(R249)
TIGHTS (R299)
MAAJI STUDIO
COLLECTION
is all about having fun with
prints. They are multifunctional so you can
get kitted out for yoga
and swimming or
running and surfing.
THE COUNTRY
ROAD Active range
is also relatively new
to the South African
market, and we are
loving the solid
colour palettes,
clean lines and
fabrics that allow
your skin to breathe
while training.
TOP (R549) TIGHTS (R599)
TOP (R1 099),

TIGHTS (R1 499)
6256
www.green-cross.com
THE ULTIMATE FEEL-GOOD SHOW

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people we admire
Buyisiwe
Sondezi
BY CHELSEA MACLACHLAN
This quantum physicist

graduated with a PhD in
experimental physics.
Not only is her research
groundbreaking, she is
also the first woman in
Africa to be granted a
doctorate in the field.
It took seven years to complete my
degree. My focus was on Rare-Earth
materials, specifically magnetic
compounds and how they behave at
low temperatures.
The only reason I did science in
high school was because I was
determined to find the cure for Aids!
I wanted to become a doctor and
go into medical research and be the
first to find the cure. I didnt end up
doing it, but it was the driving force
behind my love for science. Little did
I know I would be the first woman to
graduate in my field.
PHOTOGRAPH: JO SPIES
I have two daughters aged 16 and

12. The oldest wants to be a lawyer.
Im not surprised: I think I may have
put her off science by taking her to
the lab every day as a child. Our
lives are an endless balancing act
of experiments and homework.
I live for the results, and in the
case of my PhD, they were groundbreaking. We found that magnetic
compounds behave differently at
extremely low temperatures. These
results are phenomenal because they
havent been observed before in
these kinds of materials. New
additional theories are being estab-
lished because of these discoveries.

Due to the behaviour of materials
at extremely low temperatures, a
number of applications for various
materials can be investigated with the
aim of extending our resources.
Unfortunately women are underrepresented in the sciences and
trying to change that is a big passion
of mine. I am starting an initiative
to encourage more women students
to enrol in sciences at a first-year
level. I think if we can inspire them
at an early stage of their career it will
change the perception that science is
difficult and only for boys.
Just because Ive finished my degree
doesnt mean the investigation is
over. We now know that Rare-Earth

materials behave differently at low
temperatures but we must continue
with research to investigate whether
there are other similar materials that
behave in this manner, and also to
strengthen our findings and theories
in finding more on the origins of
such remarkable observations.
My second passion is education.
I am a lecturer at the University of
Joburg; I teach first-year physics and
second-year laboratory sessions. Im
also doing a research project which
examines the knowledge base of
students coming to university for the
first time. We are looking at the gap
between high school and university
and how to bridge that gap.
entrepreneurs
BY CHELSEA JOHNSTONE
Aofquestion
taste
For these entrepreneurs,
its their love of food that
puts bread on the table.
Never take your eye off the goal.

And plan, plan, plan. Entrepreneurs
need a detailed business plan. Understand all the elements of it because
you need to know what youre doing
and keep reminding yourself of
where you are heading, she says.
But despite the challenges,
Belinde assures us its all worth it
when a client offers positive feedback. I just love it when someone
takes a bite and says, Oh wow! This
is amazing!
Owner:
Belinde Davidson
Business:
A Food Affair
ust after we married, my

husband and I moved to
Cape Town and I needed to
find work, says Belinde.
As her passion is food and
events, it made sense for her to start
her own catering company.
I was always part of the hospitality
industry and food has always been my
hobby so I thought, Why not start my
own business? she says.
Belinde began A Food Affair in
2001 with great enthusiasm, which
didnt necessarily serve her well.
Start-up: R250000 for

equipment (estimated).
Profits: Belinde makes enough
profit to satisfy her lifestyle.
You can get so excited about things
taking off, but then overlook crucial
things because of it, she says. Its
also so easy to get overwhelmed with
emotions as an entrepreneur.
Finances were a major issue for
her particularly as the equipment
she needed was so expensive. She
warns about the importance of
managing your money properly.
It is critical. People dont always
understand what profit means. Just
because you are seeing money come
in doesnt mean its there, she says.
She explains that its imperative to
keep on top of things if youre going
to achieve your business dreams.
Owners: Koelsum
Ryklief & Adilah Samie
Business: K-Line
Catering
n 1986, Koelsum decided to

use her cooking skills to help
her husband financially.
I started carting around my
pies and samoosas to sell at
office parks. It was a very small start
but people genuinely liked the food
and I started receiving quite a few
orders, says Koelsum.
It wasnt long before she had
CREDIT BOX
Exercise selfdiscipline: dont

buy that fancy
car or go on a
nice holiday its
all about sacrifice,
sacrifice and
more sacrifice.
SISTERS KOELSUM
RYKLIEF (LEFT)
& ADILAH SAMIE
Fairlady|Month 2015 21
Start-up costs: R200 to

make the first order Koelsum
used her home kitchen and
equipment.
Profit: Koelsum and Adilah
make enough profit to grow
the business.
Owners: Janine
Riva (right) &
Claire Moulder
Business: Just
One Byte
t was risky to start my

own business but I needed to do it, says Janine.
With a National Diploma
specialising in Food
Service Management from hotel
school, she used her knowledge
and skills to start Just One Byte.
Her small beginnings have kept
her humble, she feels, and grateful
for the momentum her catering and
events company has since gained.
I started selling sandwiches in
baskets. More and more people liked
what we made, so Just One Byte
grew from there, she says proudly.
But shes quick to add that the
success of the company wouldnt
be guaranteed without her assistants
Morine Dube and Faith Ndebele
and her partner, Claire Moulder. I
couldnt have done it without Claire,
whom our customers absolutely love.
Oh, and she makes the best clairs.
Claire does the creative side of
things, like garnishing and making

the food look pretty, says Janine.
For Claire, being in this industry
is what she had always imagined
for herself. But besides getting to
make and present the food beautifully,
my favourite part is meeting new
people all the time I just love it,
she says.
Janine and Claire say patience
and commitment are important for
surviving and enjoying what you do.
Catering is fast-paced, creative and
challenging. You must be dedicated
if youre going to last, says Claire.
In the food industry, the quality
of your work speaks for itself. Your
work is your best chance of getting
more bookings, says Janine.
After the hard work and long
hours, its amazing to see it all come
together in the end, adds Claire.
Start-up: About R15 000
Profit: Variable
PHOTOGRAPHS: CHELSEA MACLACHLAN, JO SPIES. HAIR & MAKEUP: ANEL ODENDAAL,

CINDY HORTON USING DERMALOGICA, INFIDELS, LYNDAL FITZGERALD AT SUPERNOVA
a major breakthrough. What really

got business going was when
a freight company asked me to cater
for a big meeting. Other companies
were there and because everyone
really enjoyed the food, they started
ordering from me, she says.
By 2006 business was booming to
such an extent that Koelsum recruited
her sister, Adilah Samie, as a partner.
Joining the business was not an
easy decision for Adilah, but after
persistent sisterly persuasion, she
agreed. I was in a corporate job
at the time and I was very nervous
about leaving my steady income,
says Adilah. I told Koelsum I didnt
think it was a good idea I had many
financial burdens but she convinced
me to give it a try, says Adilah, And
I dont regret it at all.
Any advice for others starting
their own business? Exercise
self-discipline: dont buy that fancy
car or go on a nice holiday its all
about sacrifice, sacrifice and more
sacrifice, says Adilah.
You have to keep up with trends,
adds Koelsum. Our banting platters,
which bring in tons of business, were
a great innovation.
The sisters make sure their
staff enjoy coming to work and
believe that the 25 people they now
employ are the backbone of the
company.
Our first priority is our staff.
If your staff are unhappy, your
business wont be successful. We rent
office space in Airport City because
most of our workers live in the townships close by and can walk to work,
says Koelsum. We wouldnt be able
to do any of this without them.
I had to understand my
strongest point: cooking.
And I had to outsource the
rest of the skills needed to
achieve my goals.
Owner: Zandi Mosia

Business: Bokhabane Catering
hen Zandi couldnt find

a suitable venue or catering
for her childs birthday party,
she knew that with her background in events management she
had the solution for others who were
experiencing a similar frustration.
So she started Bokhabane
Catering in 2011. Based in Johannesburg, Bhokabane offers a hiring
and catering service for both private
and corporate events.
First off, Zandi acknowledges
the difficulties of the industry.
Its not an easy business to be
in. I cater for different cultures and
I have to make sure that I understand
what different people want. Its
a constant learning process.
Also, it comes with a major
responsibility to deliver quality.
You have to make sure your food
is amazing. And you dont want
people getting food poisoning!
Her urge to create tasty treats
and delicious dishes is what keeps
her and her business going. I just
love what I do. I love cooking
its who I am, says Zandi.
While her passion is what she
thrives on, her business needed more
than just a good chef to succeed.
I had to understand my strongest
point: cooking. And I had to outsource the rest of the skills needed
to achieve my goals, she says.
CREDIT BOX
Start-up : Very little she used

what she had in her kitchen.
Profits: Variable
profile
BY LIESL ROBERTSON
DIY?
Because anybody can.

She taught us all how to make a braai pie
(theres it!) and replicate her over-the-top
hairdo (Suzelf Yourself!), but actually theres
much more to YouTube sensation Suzelle
than a love of do-it-yourself projects.
omeone must have

sent you the video
by now of local
DIY guru Suzelle
rewiring a plug,
whipping up a
braai pie or peeling apples with
a drill. Or the one where she enlists
the help of her camera-shy friend
Marianne (shame) to show you how
to get fluff off your jersey. If not,
treat yourself check out www.youtube.com/user/SuzelleDIY. The girl
from Somerset West with the thick
Afrikaans accent has made it big.
But brace yourself the truth is
this: Suzelle is the creation of Cape
Town creative Julia Anastasopoulos
and her boyfriend Ari Kruger. (That
Dialdirect ad with the little boy may
have tipped you off already doesnt
the mom look familiar?)
Some people are convinced
Suzelle is real, says Julia. Theyll

come up to me and say: Oh my
God, Suzelle! Can I have a photo?
Or, I saw you in a Dialdirect ad
thats so weird! In reality, Julia is
a trained actress she studied drama
and performance at UCT.
Initially, we wanted to maintain
a bit of mystery around Suzelle
this is the first interview Ive done as
myself, says Julia. If Im dressed as
Suzelle and people engage with me,
Ill stay in character. But I dont
really like to mislead people Ive
never been cool with that. So Im
glad the ad came out and people
know its me and can see I have
some range!
So where did Suzelle come from?
My boyfriend Ari is a director and
we really wanted to make something
together that would sharpen our
skills, explains Julia. He can direct
and edit, and I can act. One weekend,
If Im dressed
as Suzelle and
people are
engaging with
me, Ill stay in
character, but
I dont really
like to mislead
people Ive
never been
cool with that.
THIS PIC: THE

WIMMELBILDER
MURAL IN CAPE
TOWNS THE
BOOK LOUNGE.
RIGHT: FROM
JEFF AND
GEORGE.
BOTTOM & FAR
RIGHT: A LOGO
AND CHARACTER
JULIA DESIGNED
FOR PRESENTS
IN THE POST.
we had nothing to do so we decided

to make something. We love playing
around with characters and accents
were always talking in accents!
and one of them was this Afrikaans
girl, who we loved. Eventually she
even had a name: Suzelle. It had to
be something that sounded Afrikaans
but that was also quite fabulous.
They decided to do a DIY show,
starring Suzelle. We thought it
would be amazing to create this
character who did these video
tutorials, and then when people
googled a DIY project, the video
would come up. I wanted everything
to be funny but also useful. It also
suits Aris style, which is quite
choppy and closely edited.
It helped that Julia had a knack for
DIY projects. Ari used to tease me
because Im quite clued up on
DIY, so I know how to
do all that stuff, she
says. I always have
a useful tip.
Suzelle is
actually real
its me!
The two shot a
few bite-size DIY
tutorials and shared
them online. We
started posting
them on Facebook,
and our friends and our
moms would like them, Julia

laughs. We wanted to see what
would happen. Then a couple of
local blogs picked it up. We couldnt
believe it. People went absolutely
crazy over the braai pie tutorial
we didnt think it was the best one,
but people here love anything
braai-related. I still cant believe so
many people know and engage with
it. It blows my mind.
If you watch the very first videos
now (How to drill a hole without
making a mess and How to make
curls with a GHD), you can see how
Suzelle has evolved. The first ones
are different because we hadnt quite
found the character and the style yet,
says Julia. Ari thought we should
make me look completely different
from myself, so I wore very bright
colours I generally wear black,
grey and navy all the time!
These days, Suzelle has
a trademark look.
Its become very
1950s. And the
hair! Ari was
always telling
me to make the
hairstyle bigger,
so it just got
bigger and bigger.
And, of course,
there is always an
extravagant hair clip.
The two even have Suzelles back

story all figured out. Suzelle lives in
Somerset West and works in a
guesthouse (called Somerset Guest)
during the day, which gives her time
to be on the internet, looking for DIY
inspiration. Her neighbour Hennie
shows her how to film and put stuff
on the internet and she dreams of
having a DIY show. Shes got a best
friend Marianne and loves to go for
koffies at Mugg & Bean. And, says
Julia, she is definitely single. Shame,
Suzelle. She just tries a bit hard.
As for Suzelles camera-shy friend
Marianne, the two are also friends in
real life. She is my best friend, but
shes not at all awkward in real life,
laughs Julia. I was at school with
Gina, and we used to talk about
doing a two-woman show when we
were at drama school. Ari and I
wanted to introduce a new character
and we just thought Gina would be
so brilliant. She does that awkward
thing so well. Julia loves having
someone to play off on-screen, but
says its unlikely that Marianne will
ever speak. We think that maybe if
we ever do a Suzelle movie,
Marianne should say something very
profound, right at the end, she says.
Ari and Julia love working little
personal jokes and real-life details
into the show. For instance, Marianne works at a salon for cats and
THIS PIC &

BELOW: THE
GRAND-SCALE
MYCITI MURALS
COMMUTERS
PASS EVERY DAY
ON THEIR WAY
TO WORK.
dogs, whereas Gina owns a hair

salon for humans called The Fox
& Vixen. And Bakkies is really her
dog! His real name is Tyrion, but Gina
has a cat called Bakkies and we just
thought it was such a funny name
that we renamed him for the show.
Marianne is a firm favourite with
Suzelle fans. When were together
in public, people cant cope! says
Julia. We were shooting the other
day, and Gina was there in her polo
neck, and the people next door
spotted her and shouted, Hey, its
Marianne! She just stared at them
silently and waved awkwardly, like
Marianne would. It was hysterical.
When shes on her own, Julia
mostly manages to remain incognito.
People dont really recognise me,
but sometimes Ill spot someone
staring at me blatantly they know
they recognise me from somewhere,

but they cant think where.
Creating her own opportunities is
not new to Julia. After her degree in
2004, she was at a bit of a loose end.
It was quite a shock, to suddenly be
in that competitive world of castings
and auditions, she says. Its a weird
industry, and it can be quite judgy on
the way you look.
Luckily, she had more than just
the one skill. Ive been drawing for
as long as I can remember, she says.
My mom was an art teacher and
were all very artistic. I think my dad
really hoped I would go down the
fine art route hes an engineer but
is very artistic and has a keen design
sense. I think theres a lot of him in
me; our mannerisms, the way we
look, our dry sense of humour and
the way we see things. There are
many similarities with me and my

mom as well, though we both make
things and love going to secondhand
shops. Julias sisters, Angela and
Stephanie, are also creatives.
Julia soon found herself doing
more drawing than acting. A lot
of us were making our own work.
Having a theatre background sets
you up for so many things
everything is heightened and quite
extreme and theres never any
money! I slowly started doing more
design stuff I was still affiliated
with the theatre, but more on the
design side: set design, costume
design that kind of thing.
Julia started her own design label,
Knolc. Back in the days of predictive
text on Nokias, my sister would type
Jules or Julie and it kept coming
up as Knolc so she started calling
me Knolc, she explains. And that
became my label. My surname is so
long and hard to pronounce that it
could never be my design name.
Julia describes her illustrations as
intricate, fantastical, activity-filled
line drawings that often include landscapes and cityscapes a style the
Germans refer to as a Wimmelbilder:
an image that teems with people,
buildings and other objects. I think
its a good description of what I do.
Shed just done a childrens exhibition
at Whatiftheworld Gallery when the
Book Lounge, Cape Towns famous

bookshop, asked her to draw a mural
for them. That really helped put me
on the map I got so much work from
it. Years later, I was commissioned
to do a mural for one of the MyCiti
bus stations: four huge walls. Theyd
seen the mural and asked me to do
it on a much bigger scale. You can
still see Julias murals seven-and-ahalf metre cityscapes towering over
commuters at the Civic Centre bus
station in Cape Town. It was an
amazing job very challenging, but
very rewarding and cool. I still cant
believe that I actually pulled that
off. Those walls are massive I drew
and drew and drew and drew!
Even though her illustration
business was thriving, Julia kept
going to auditions as well. Ive
always been doing a bit of acting on
the side. As soon as you dont let
castings get to you and you just go
with it, the work comes. I love being
on set. Also, the money is amazing.
Sometimes you can do a one-day
shoot and make enough money
to support yourself for a month
and a half. So if I get a couple of
commercial jobs in a season, it means
I can take on a few artistic projects
that dont necessarily pay as well.
One such project was a childrens
book called Jeff and George. I was
at drama school with Emily Child
and she wrote this childrens book
and asked me if I wanted to illustrate
it, says Julia. We put a little proposal
together and submitted it to Penguin,
Favourite illustrators: Saul Steinberg, who was

a cartoonist for The New Yorker. I also love Oliver
Jeffers and Raymond Peynet. I love when the
pictures tell the story, rather than the text.
TV show: I just started watching Broadchurch
its a very good British crime series. Girls is a good
one too. And Im a big fan of Masterchef Australia.
Latest DIY adventure: I just sewed some blockout curtains which took a very long time!
Biggest DIY fail: How to fold a fitted sheet. Its
very hard! Theres a trick to doing it neatly, but
I havent quite gotten the hang of it. Ari can do
it perfectly!
Dreams for the future: I would love to bring
out an illustrated range: prints, canvas tote bags
and finger puppets. And it has always been a huge
dream of mine to write and illustrate a childrens
book. I love childrens books in general, and the
art in childrens books has always inspired me.
Ive got a million titles and ideas in my mind, but
I still havent gotten around to it.
and they picked it up quite quickly,

which was amazing. The book,
which is set in Cape Town, is about
a little boy Jeff and his best friend
George, a tiny springbok. Its
raining and the wind is howling
and theyve run out of things to do
inside, so they decide to build this
rain suit/totem pole thing so they
can go out, says Julia. The story
is sweet and simple, with detailed
drawings. I love including little
details for instance, in Jeff and
George theres a little family of
mice that are hidden away on every
page. Were hoping to make it
a series, but at the moment were
still chatting about that.
For the time being,

however, Suzelle has
taken over. 2015 is
for Suzelle, says Julia.
She has infiltrated my
life in more ways than
one! Bright Suzelle is
just everywhere I look
theres a whole rail of
her clothes in my bedroom. Weve chosen to
ride the wave and see
where it takes us.
Aris loft has been
converted into Suzelle
headquarters, and he
co-writes, edits and
directs the videos. Julia
has even roped her sister
Steph into helping with
admin and styling. If Ari
and I answer emails all
day, its hard to be creative. Big
brands have also approached them
with offers of sponsorships. A lot
of brands want to use Suzelle to get
people to engage with their products.
So far weve done four episodes with
Takealot, but we were very careful
to keep their involvement subtle.
It worked quite well in the end.
Next up for Suzelle is a DIY
book, which will be released by NB
Publishers later this year. We have
280 pages to fill, so were researching
our asses off! she laughs. Fans
send us stuff to do, which is cool,
and the rest is stuff we genuinely
want to figure out. I want everything
to be legitimate and handy.
PHOTOGRAPHS: CHELSEA MACLACHLAN, TALENTED MR WILL, ARI KRUGER, SUPPLIED.

HAIR & MAKEUP: LYNDAL FITZGERALD, SUPERNOVA
LEFT TO RIGHT:
WITH BEST
FRIEND GINA
(AKA MARIANNE)
AND TYRION
(AKA BAKKIES);
PEELING APPLES
GLAM DIY-STYLE;
SUZELLE IN
ONE OF HER
CHRISTMASTHEMED VIDEOS,
WITH A HAIRCLIP
TO MATCH
6230
The legend lives on.

Since 1925, Le Creuset has been creating iconic Cast Iron cookware renowned the world over. Coated in
hardened enamel and guaranteed for life, the Le Creuset legacy lives on in every perfectly cooked meal.
Now you can experience full colour cooking at two new Le Creuset Boutique Stores:
Baywest in Port Elizabeth and Watercress in Durban, opening April 2015.
Visit www.lecreuset.co.za or call our customer help line on 086 177 3321.
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is
MODERN
MEDICINE
letting us
DOWN?
15-minute consultations,
quick-fixes for
symptoms
rather than
examination
of underlying
causes Is
the current
way of
practicing
medicine
outdated?
talking point
he truth
is, yes.
Whether
youve felt
that Google
offers more
insight than
your doctor,
been angry
because the consultation only lasted
15 minutes, or felt youre being
bounced from specialist to specialist,
youre not alone: across the board,
patients are feeling dissatisfied.
And while burnout in medical
professionals, incompetency and cost
are all potential culprits, they mask
the core issue: the medical system
desperately needs an upgrade.
DIFFICULT TO DIAGNOSE
Someone who has birthed four
children is no wimp when it comes
to pain. But when Shirley Smuts
found herself getting up nightly
in excruciating pain to sit with a
Huggle Buggle on her stomach, she
decided it was time to see a doctor.
Her gynae (one of the best in Cape
Town) told her everything was fine
and that she had nothing to worry
about. But the pain was so bad, she
says. How could I be fine when
I was in so much pain? Desperate
for an answer, Shirley went to the
GP, the colon specialist, a different
gynae and a stomach specialist. I
had scans, ultrasounds, tests you
name it, she says. They all came
back normal and not a single doctor
doubted the guy that made the
biggest mistake in the beginning.
Shirley spent the remainder of 2011
and most of 2012 trying to find a
doctor that would take her seriously.
I was told it was all in my head
and that I should see a psychiatrist,
she says. Another one told me to
23 countries show that two-thirds

start smoking grass. When Shirley
of patients feel disrespected by
returned to her gynae for the fourth
their physicians, and one quarter
time, this time with her daughter,
complained that their doctors didnt
he told her daughter she was going
answer questions, didnt involve
crazy. Days later, when I demanded
them in treatment decisions and used
another scan, a different doctor
medical jargon without explanation.
who looked at it noticed two cricket
Listening to and
balls attached to my
spending more time
ovaries. In a contrast
with the patient
scan, Shirley said she
I have a lot
lit up like a Christmas
of colleagues were regarded as
the most important
tree she had Stage III
working
factors in determining
Ovarian Cancer.
in the GP
patient satisfaction.
Currently
framework
But all the while
completing her third
who are saymisdiagnosis, no
round of chemo,
ing, There
diagnosis and overShirley is determined
is someprescription become
it will be the last.
more common.
Though she feels so
thing wrong
much could have been
but I dont
And it isnt as if
avoided had she not
know how to
doctors themselves
been mistreated by the
change it.
are coming away
system, she is at least
with a more positive
grateful for her fullperspective. In 1973, fewer than
cover medical aid, which allowed her
15% of physicians reported doubts
to jump around to different doctors.
about their profession, but in
Those on hospital plans dont have
2001 58% of physicians said their
that luxury.
enthusiasm for medicine had gone
down. More recent surveys show that
When two GPs and a specialist told
between 30% and 40% of practising
Basil de Bruyn that the blood
physicians wouldnt choose to enter
in his urine was normal, he decided
the medical profession if they had
to give up because he could
the choice now, and an even higher
no longer afford the expensive
percentage wouldnt encourage
consultations that lasted only 10
their children to choose a career in
minutes anyway. Months later, his
medicine. While pay has gone down
daughter booked him an appointment
in government hospitals, the demand
with a urologist, who discovered that
on doctors has increased. Most
he had bladder cancer.
doctors cite the little time they get to
PATIENT VS DOCTOR
spend with patients as the root cause
There is something wrong with this
of their frustration.
picture. Its not about the hospital
or the operating room; its about the
One of these doctors is Dr Nicola
primary health care system the
Buchan. After working 100-hour
consulting room. The evidence that
weeks during her year of community
it needs revision is mounting. Two
service, she saw first-hand the effect
studies that surveyed people from
her own burnout and exhaustion
had on her
patients. I
was completely
dissatisfied with my
job, and myself, she says.
I had this idea that I wanted to give
my patients more, but I had no idea
where to start. Nicola eventually
found Functional Medicine and did
a postgraduate degree at Stellenbosch
(the degree has since been discontinued due to lack of funding). I have
a lot of colleagues working in the GP
framework who are saying, There is
something wrong, but I dont know
how to change it.
SHIFTING PARADIGM
It wasnt always like this. In the 20th
century, medicine was in its golden
age. Doctors were given hero status
as penicillin and antibiotics were
discovered. So what has gone wrong
since? One argument is that a health
care model needs to be set up around
the diseases it supports, and in the
20th century, those diseases were
infectious diseases. Out of this came
the 15-minute consultation, which
worked brilliantly for someone
presenting symptoms of a single
disease that could be treated with a
single drug. Why would you need
more time when the evidence-based
approach says that there is enough
research and scientific evidence to
diagnose and prescribe a treatment
inside that time period? That may
have worked for measles and
chicken pox, but as the 21st century
is marked by lifestyle conditions,
the framework needs to change
to support that. I think there is a
harmful perception
a question mark over your sanity.
that everything about
The legacy of the past, where the
the body has mostly
doctor was put on a pedestal, doesnt
been discovered
help either. It inhibits the patient
by science. Lifefrom questioning the doctor and the
style conditions
doctor from admitting they dont
are complex and
know the answer. If the doctor is on
integrative, says
a pedestal, how are they supposed to
Dr Buchan.
have a relationship?
The
asks Dr Buchan, who
conventional
believes working
framework looks at
together is key. And,
Its enabled
whether youre healthy
having entered the
me to bring
or diseased, she says.
era of Google, weve
in the other
Until youve checked
moved from scant
side of
the diseased box, with
knowledge of our
medicine
blood tests or scans,
bodies to access
thats long
youre considered
to fairly thorough
healthy; its black and
been forgotten information.
white. What about the
the emotional
FUNCTIONAL
people who are in
and holistic
the grey?
component MEDICINE
This is where
functional or
Take someone like
integrative medicine
Johan Wessels. In
comes in. Essentially, it looks at
2006, while on holiday, he started
people in the grey area. Instead of
hearing white noise and became
treating a set of symptoms, it treats
unbalanced. He went to the GP and
the whole person practitioners
had a range of tests, which all came
spend more time with patients,
back normal. He then entered into
looking at more than just the
four years of specialist visits, which
physical component. With a patientresulted in diagnoses of normal and
centred (rather than disease-centred)
healthy, but all the while he battled
approach, functional doctors who
chronic fatigue and ear problems.
practise functional medicine work
In 2010, at the age of 54, he had
with the idea that health problems
a stroke in a supermarket and died.
are not isolated but interact with
Why did no one do an ECG? says
one another, often masking the
his daughter Jana. I feel completely
real cause. If you leave those
misled by the doctors. As a lawyer,
people sitting in the grey, they will
my Dad was incredibly stressed.
eventually become diseased, says
Not a single doctor took into account
Dr Buchan. We aim to prevent that
the effect of the stress, and yet its
by treating lifestyle with lifestyle,
what ended up killing him.
rather than disease with drugs. And
it seems to be paying off most of
For many people, life in the grey
Dr Buchans patients come to her
area, just outside the diseased box,
frustrated after seeing six or seven
is not only riddled with frustration
specialists. We work together to
but with chronic pain, prolonged
create optimal health, she says.
drug use or, in Shirleys case,
Functional
medicine can
detect lifestyle
diseases before
they arise.
Functional medicine may have a holistic

approach that is more associated with alternative
medicine, but it is different in that it does not
deny the importance of drugs or surgery
when needed.
It has enabled me to bring in the other side
of medicine that has long been forgotten. It
is the emotional and the holistic component,
but underpinned by science, says Dr Buchan.
While we have made tremendous advances in
terms of science, I believe that we havent even
scratched the surface of the intangible.
PHOTOGRAPHS: GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES
Doctor Bernard Brom, pioneer of integrative

medicine in South Africa, believes the seven
pillars of lifestyle are diet, weight control,
exercise, stress, pollution, supplements and the
psycho-spiritual journey. By investigating each
of these pillars when a person is not feeling
their best, and while using the guidelines of
conventional medicine, a doctor practising
functional medicine can detect lifestyle diseases
before they arise.
This is not to say the evidence-based model
doesnt work. But surely, in this new era of
disease, science should start in the consulting
room rather than ending there. Observation is
the starting point of scientific discovery, yet in
most cases the doctor has no time to properly
observe the patient and, in the absence of
positive test results, the patients own experience
of how they are feeling is often dismissed as
anecdotal. Much of the workings of the human
body remain a mystery. The moment we
regard the human body simply as a mechanical
problem to be solved is the moment medicine
loses its capacity for discovery.
talking point
BY LIESL ROBERTSON
DONT
GET
MAD
get
super T
successful!
These unlucky-in-love celebs found a
way to turn their heartbreak into fame
and fortune and leave their exes kicking
themselves for ever having let them go.
The perfect revenge? We think so.
he best revenge, they

say, is living well.
Fame and fortune
dont hurt either.
While most of us
handle breakups like
Jess from New Girl (crying on the
couch, watching Dirty Dancing on
repeat), a resilient few have learned
to channel their hurt and betrayal
into something positive, something
creative. Would these superstars have
unearthed their talents if it hadnt
been for that one failed relationship?
Theres no way to know, but if this is
the result, we sure are glad they got
their hearts trampled.
Someone Like You
eartbreak has inspired many a pop

song hell, Taylor
Swift has basically
turned it into an art.
But Adele turned
it into something big not once, but
twice. Adele Laurie Blue Adkins first
shot to fame in 2008, after the release
of her debut album, 19 her age at
the time. The main theme of her
album? The demise of her first serious
relationship. Her then-boyfriend
(who has miraculously managed to
remain nameless) cheated on her,
and then heres the kicker told
her he wanted a share
of the royalties for hits
When Im about to get angry
inspired by their breakup, in my heart, I can really feel
like Chasing Pavements. my blood flowing around my
Adele told The Sun
body... And I kept going:
Finally, I said, Well,
Feel my heartbeat Paul!
you made my life hell,
so I lived it and now I
her first US number one and of her
deserve it. Ill give him his credit
biggest hits worldwide.
he made me an adult and put me on
Looking back now, she admits that
the road that Im traveling.
breakup was a blessing in disguise.
A year later, Adele was struggling
Im lucky. I was panicking, thinking
to recapture the magic when her new
what was I going to write my second
relationship ended. Another producer
album about: hotels and air miles?
may have patted her on the back and
No one can relate to that, she said.
sent her home with a box of tissues,
So Im very lucky that I met him,
but songwriter and producer Paul
and Im lucky we broke up as well.
Epworth could see she was fired up
On her own website, Adele writes
and decided to seize the moment.
that Rolling in the Deep was her
I never get angry, but I was ready to
reaction to being told that my life
murder, she said in her biography.
was going to be boring and lonely
I went in crying and stuff, and said:
and rubbish, and that I was a weak
Lets write a ballad. And he was
person if I didnt stay in the relationlike: Absolutely not! I want to write
ship. I was very insulted, and wrote
a fierce tune.
that as a sort of f*ck you. Her
Adele rose to the challenge.
breakup anthem also set the tone
When Im about to get angry in
for the new record tougher and
my heart, I can really feel my blood
more defiant than 19. She won six
flowing around my body... And I
Grammies for it and it became the
kept going: Feel my heartbeat
first album in U.K. chart history to
Paul! And the beat of the song was
sell 3 million copies in one calendar
my heartbeat... It just built and built.
year. Adele is the first female to have
The result? Rolling in the Deep
two singles and two albums in the
U.K. top five simultaneously (only

the Beatles had achieved this before,
in 1963) and 21 stayed at number one
in the UK for 11 weeks, beating a
solo female record that Madonna had
set with The Immaculate Collection.
While the media speculated about
the identity of her heartbreaker,
Adele found love with businessman
Simon Konecki. Rumours surfaced
last year that she and 40-year-old
Simon (also the father of their son,
Angelo) were living separately, but
according to Adele herself, there
is no truth to this. On 28 Dec 2014
she tweeted: Just wanted to wish
everyone happy holidays & all the
best for 2015! PS Simon & I are still
very much together, dont believe
what you read x.
Its been a long wait for her third
album, but she doesnt seem to have
lost her touch in 2013, she received
an Academy Award, a Grammy and
a Golden Globe Award for Best
Original Song for James Bond song
Skyfall. But if youre hoping for
more angsty anthems, you might be
in for a disappointment: the vocal
powerhouse has vowed to never write
a breakup record again. Im done
with being a bitter witch, she told
Vogue. And as for the mystery ex,
shes forgiven him too. For ages I
was like, As if he deserves any f*cking kudos for inspiring my record,
she recalls. But now, after some
time, it only seems right that the
person who so far has had the biggest
impact on me has now changed
my life for f*cking ever with this
album deserves a little credit I
can do things that I never dreamed
Id be able to do. If I hadnt met him,
I think Id still be that little girl I was
when I was eighteen. And the best
thing is, I now know what I want
for myself and from someone else.
I didnt know what I wanted before.
R is for Revenge
ue Graftons homicidal
urges first surfaced in the
midst of a bitter, sixyear
custody battle. I was so
furious ... I lay awake at
night fantasizing how I
could finish him off, she told The LA
Times. Then I had the brilliant idea
of using oleander as a poison... one,
you see it all over California, and,
two, I remembered that oleander was
so poisonous that one ounce of its
powdered leaves mixed with a ton
of hay was enough to kill 500 head
of cattle. I imagined making copies
of my childrens keys to their fathers
house we had joint custody at the
time so that I could sneak in and
put powdered oleander in his allergy
capsules. The next hay fever attack
no more ex-husband.
Luckily, Sue came to her senses.
Of course, I knew Id never get
away with it, she says, laughing.
And since I didnt want to spend the
rest of my life in a shapeless prison
dress, I decided to turn my homicidal
fantasy into a mystery novel.
The result? A crime novel called
A Is for Alibi, and the birth of an
iconic literary character: sassy
private investigator Kinsey Millhone.
Sue, who turns 75 this month, has
since turned Kinseys adventures
into a series of alphabetically titled
detective novels (B Is for Burglar,
C Is for Corpse) she is now
near the end of the alphabet with
W is for Wasted.
Over the years, Sue (and Kinsey)
have won multiple awards and her
books are translated into 26 languages
and sold in 28 countries. But besides
her financial and creative success,
writing has also set Sue on a path
of self-discovery. With every book,
Im exploring my dark side, she
explains. All of us have experienced
rage and powerlessness exactly
what I was feeling when I fantasised
about murder. What comes up in all
of us when were in such unjust

situations is the same energy that
drives killers. I keep looking at
murder and trying to unravel what
human beings are all about. I write
to understand who I am.
In the process, she also created
a feminist icon in the shape of
cheerfully cynical Kinsey Millhone
not that that was ever her plan.
It was more an act of desperation,
she says. I wanted to write a
mystery in the Raymond Chandler,
Dashiell Hammett and Ross
MacDonald tradition because Id
always liked that down-and-dirty,
dark and cynical world. But I didnt
know how to construct a mystery
plot or what a private eye actually
does. So it would have been absurd
to take on the extra burden of trying
to write from a male point of view.
Sue says the ex who started it all
is still around. And hes heard the
story and so far he hasnt sued my
butt off. When her youngest
daughter got married, he even
attended the wedding at her house.
We were perfectly civil, while Ill
never forgive his ass for what he
did to me. There was some real
satisfaction in the fact that he came
to my house which is lavish and I
thought, Eat your heart out, asshole
you know? But I was so polite.
Her advice to women everywhere?
Your homicidal urges can be turned
to good in this world. Dont let that
ex-husband get you down! Just start
a whole new job.
Spellbound
fictional boy with

a lightning-shaped
scar changed penniless single mom
Joanne Kathleen
Rowlings life forever. JK Rowling, as she is known,
is the worlds first billionaire author,
having sold more than 450 million
copies of her books worldwide.
Joanne was 25 and working as
a teacher when she met 23-year-old
Portuguese journalist Jorge Arantes.
The two bonded over a mutual
love of Jane Austen. They married
in 1992 and their child, Jessica
Isabel Rowling Arantes, was born
in July 1993. Their passionate but
tempestuous whirlwind romance
soon went south just a few months
later they separated.
Obviously, you do not leave a
marriage after that very short period
of time unless there are serious
problems, she told the Times of
London. Im not the kind of person
who bails out without there being
serious problems. Im a long-term
girl. And I had a baby with this man.
But it didnt work. And it was clear
to me that it was time to go, and so
I went. I never regretted it.
Its been suggested that Rowling
suffered domestic abuse at the hands
PHOTOGRAPHS: ELITE PHOTO AGENCY, GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/DAN MCMEDAN, GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES
of Arantes in an interview with The

Daily Express, he admitted that he
had dragged her out of their home at
five in the morning after a violent
struggle and slapped her hard.
Whether or not it was a first-time
occurrence, it was the final straw
for Joanne. Soon after, she left for
Scotland with Jessica on her hip and
three chapters of Harry Potter and the
Philosophers Stone in her suitcase.
Joanne first came up with the idea
for the Harry Potter books in 1990.
But according to Jorge, she started
writing the Harry Potter books
while they were together, and asked
for his input. I am proud to say
that I was the first person to read
about Harry Potter, he said in an
interview. Joanne, he says, also
found his advice helpful.
Although Joanne has rarely
spoken publicly about her marriage,
she did refute Jorges claim that he
helped shape the first Potter novel,
with this scornful line: He had as
much input into Harry Potter as I
had in A Tale of Two Cities.
Having left Jorge, Joanne found
herself unemployed and as poor as
it is possible to be in modern Britain,
without being homeless. I never
expected to mess up so badly that I
would find myself in an unheated,
mouse-infested flat, looking after my
daughter. And I was angry because I
felt I was letting her down, she says.
Between studying and making ends
meet, it was only early in 1996 that
the manuscript was finally finished.
Twelve publishers turned down
the most lucrative writer in the
world before the book was eventually
picked up by Bloomsbury for
a measly advance of 1500. Barry
Cunningham, head of childrens
fiction at Bloomsbury, praised her
book but told her to be prepared:
there was no financial reward in
childrens books. Joanne didnt care.
The purest, most unalloyed joy was
when I finally knew it was going to
be a book, a real book you could see
sitting on the shelf of a bookshop.
Rumour has it
reaking up is bad
enough without
having to see each
other and work
together every day.
But by the time
Fleetwood Mac went into the
studio to record their iconic album,
Rumours, the band members were
barely speaking to each other.
Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie
Nickss relationship was falling
apart, and married couple Christine
and John McVie were in the middle of
divorce proceedings. Even drummer
Mick Fleetwood, who was trying
to hold it all together, had his own
problems his marriage to Jenny
Boyd was also
disintegrating.
By the time we
got to Rumours,
the emotional
rollercoaster was
in full motion...
Everybody knew
everything about
everybody and
I was definitely
piggy-in-themiddle, Fleetwood told Uncut.
In between
songs, the McVies
gave each other the silent treatment.
We literally didnt talk, other than
to say, What key is this song in?,
says Christine. We were as cold as
ice to each other. Lindsey and Stevie
ranted and raved, but they stuck it
out too: both knew quitting the band
would be career suicide. Each one
of us was too proud and way too
stubborn to walk away from it, says
Stevie. I wasnt going to leave.
Lindsey wasnt going to leave. What
would we have done sat around in
LA and tried to start new bands? It
was just grit your teeth and bear it.
The bandmates found another way
to vent their feelings: writing songs
to each other lyrics that seemed to

be plucked straight from their diary
pages. Lindsey wrote Second Hand
News (One thing I think you should
know/I aint gonna miss you when
you go) for Stevie, to which she
responded with Dreams (Now
here you go again, you say you want
your freedom). He countered with
Go Your Own Way (Loving you
isnt the right thing to do), before
she hit back with I Dont Want
To Know (I dont want to stand
between you and love, honey/I just
want you to feel fine). For John,
Christine wrote Dont Stop, and
Oh Daddy for Mick, who was then
separated from his wife and two kids.
The Chain, written by the entire

band, was a song about their intertwined lives.
You had these dialogues shooting back and forth about what was
going down between us and we were
chronicling every nuance of it, says
Lindsey. People found it riveting.
Their communal unhappiness paid
off: Rumours sold 25 million copies.
We knew we had something pretty
powerful, to a point that transcended
everybodys misery and depression,
admits Christine. I think we knew
that if wed all been getting on like
a house on fire, the songs wouldnt
have been nearly as good.
hot topic
is fracking
really
THAT BAD?
Will it contaminate the
water and destroy the
Karoo or could it get us
out of the energy hole and
create jobs for a decade?
In a fight between economy
and environment, fracking
has become one of SAs
most polarised debates.
HOW DOES
FRACKING WORK?
Hydraulic Fracturing (fracking) is the

process of drilling and injecting a mixture
of chemicals and water deep into the
ground at high pressure to fracture shale
rock and release natural gas inside. Shale
gas mining has huge potential for energy
and electricity production, but it requires
vast amounts of water in order to be
carried out. Estimates of how much shale
gas is trapped under the Karoo vary
and drilling is the only way to find out.
no
PHILIP LLOYD
is a research professor
at the Cape Peninsula
University of Technology
in Cape Town and has
over 30 years experience
in the energy industry.
Fracking is not only

safe, but is an economic
game changer. It has
transformed the global
economy and could
transform ours.
ost economies
around the world
get 90% of their
energy from fossil
fuels, a third of
which comes from gas. In contrast,
only 1% of our energy comes from
gas, so our energy economy is at a
severe disadvantage to the rest of the
world. At that rate youd think we
didnt have any gas, but in fact were
sitting on top of what could be some
of the largest gas reserves in the world.
It would be stupid not to use them!
RISKS?
Of course there are risks as there
are with anything but the good
thing about fracking is that those
risks have been identified and we can
work on diminishing them. Contamination of water is manageable.
In countries where they have been
fracking for a long time the ratio of
yes
contaminated water incidences to
fracking success stories is tiny. After
all, we are talking about 50 years of
fracking experience to draw from.
People worry about the chemicals
injected into the ground, but a recent
study presented to the South African
government found that the proposed
recycling methods for the fracking
water are really good. It found that
it generated a salty water rather than
chemical waste. Sure, it isnt drinking water, but it can be used for other
things. People also tend to forget that
the water in the Karoo is virtually
undrinkable to start with, due to
uranium minerals underground.
MORE TO GAIN
All of this needs to be weighed up
against the economic outcome of
fracking, which, even when you
take all the environmental concerns
into consideration, is massive. Some
years ago, a tiny bit of gas arrived
in Durban from Secunda, and this
allowed 3000 completely new jobs to
be created from manufacturers who
benefited from the clean emissions
of gas to start-ups that benefited
from the low cost of gas. That just
shows the impact gas could have on
our economy, and given its state, we
should see if we could develop it
properly.
PROCEED WITH CAUTION

Im not simply saying go forth and
frack there are still unanswered
questions, one of which is whether
we have the resources to do a proper
job of monitoring the fracking process so that accidents dont happen.
We need people with the right skills,
knowledge and experience; we dont
even have a lot of modern drilling
technology in South Africa. There is
still a big learning curve, but we are
fortunate enough to have the rest of
the world to learn from where fracking has been successful. It makes it
completely achievable.
JONATHAN
DEAL
is CEO of Treasure Karoo

Action Group (TKAG),
the main opposition to
fracking in the Karoo.
In 2013 Jonathan was
awarded the Goldman
Environmental Prize for
his efforts.
Not only do
contaminated water
and community health
pose huge risks, but
the energy return on
fracking is so low that
it is pointless.
ets pretend youre a

farmer in the Karoo. Its
2020 and Shell, Falcon
and Bundu have been
fracking for five years
but nowhere near your farm. You
open the tap and can see the water
is contaminated. What can you do?
Well, given the current regulations
for baseline testing, absolutely nothing. Without knowing what the water
looks like in the Karoo now, there
will be nothing to compare it to when
it does become contaminated. What
about when you go to the doctor
because you and your farm workers
have become sick? Well, the doctor
wont be able to test for fracking
chemicals or any illnesses related to
them if they dont currently exist.
TRANSPARENCY
government still uses the old inflated

figures; Jacob Zuma is allowed to go
on TV and tell the public it will be a
game changer based on exaggerated
numbers but it simply wont be.
And that doesnt even take the health
concerns into consideration which,
if you look at the structure of the
Karoo, are a huge worry.
WATER CONTAMINATION
The Karoo geology is unique.
Despite its semi-arid nature, the
crisscrossed underground sills and
dikes that characterise its geology
transport water. They are like
underground rivers, and this means
that water across the Karoo is
essentially shared. It also means that
if you have contamination in one
underground aquifer, it is possible it
will travel a good distance in a
relatively short space of time.
We actually have a record of this: in
1967, when South Africa was trying
to find oil, a company drilled a deep
well in Jansenville, and it ruptured.
It lost pressure at about 2500m,
which dispersed the drilling fluids
sideways. Six weeks later, in
Kliplaat, 32km away from Jansenville, these drilling fluids started
bubbling up to the surface. This just
illustrates the need for baseline water
testing for fracking to be spread over
a far greater area than the proposed
1000m around a well.
As burning
gas is cleaner
than burning
coal, people
often believe
the claims
that shale
gas is a clean
energy and
therefore
worthwhile.
But lets not
forget that the emissions sent up
into the atmosphere, and the energy
expended during the process of
extracting gas, make it dirty and
expensive as much as coal! Even
if climate change, community health
and water werent at risk, fracking
still couldnt solve our energy crisis.
Youre looking at 15 years before
well be using gas in our households.
Unlike America, South Africa has
no gas infrastructure and little public
knowledge on using gas. And all the
while the cost of renewable energy
is going down. So in 1015 years,
renewable energy will be that much
cheaper than fossil fuel, which is
climbing in price. Even if you think
shale gas is worthwhile now, it
wont be when it goes to market in
10 years time. Mining shale gas is
like eating soup with a fork: youre
very busy but you stay hungry. And
it suits the oil companies to give the
appearance of being busy because it
keeps their shares trading.
There are so many issues in the
way of fracking. Just one should be
enough for the government to keep
the moratorium until there are proper
investigations with proper results.
Science, not politics and money,
should inform policy. We havent
even spoken about where the 30 million litres of water needed for each
well will come from, and it seems
like government hasnt either.
PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE, THINKSTOCK, GALLO IMAGES/ THE TIMES / SHELLEY CHRISTIANS, SUPPLIED
Our argument is
that if Shell and
the government go
on about how safe
fracking is, they
should be willing
to be held accountable with proper
baseline water
testing before the
fracking starts; and
proper regulations
specific to the Karoo that arent
simply a copy and paste from the
Americans. When South Africa
decided to lift the moratorium on
fracking in 2012, not a single doctor
had weighed in. Yet New York State
spent six years investigating fracking
and, as of December 2014, banned it.
The Netherlands, Shells home
country, extended the moratorium
until 2017. Parts of Canada and the
whole of Scotland have just banned
it and most of Europe will either
extend their moratoria or ban it
outright. The bans in New York
and Canada are especially interesting
as they cite two main reasons: water
pollution and health concerns,
and the failure of shale gas mining
to deliver the benefits promised by
the industry.
Lets look at the promises made in
this country: Game changer, jobs
for a decade weve heard it all.
In 2012, Shell SA told government
in the Econometrix Report that there
was approximately 485tcf of shale
gas in the Karoo enough to create
700 000 jobs. Not only did the report
ignore any environmental or secondary costs of fracking, but the estimate
of shale gas has since been reduced
by South African scientists from
485tcf to 30tcf. That is a reduction
of 13 times, which takes 700 000
jobs down to 50 000 jobs! Despite
knowing this, the South African
ENERGY
RETURN
local profile
AS TOLD TO LIESL ROBERTSON
Stage
presence
grew up in Pietermaritzberg. My
father was a good old
family doctor and my
mother was a stay-athome mom. She was
very intelligent, and I
think quite frustrated
by the Victorian ideas
they both grew up
with. He didnt want her to work,
because he felt it would reflect badly
on his practice, but when I was in
matric she went back to varsity and
got her masters in theology. We
studied together! They were quite oldfashioned in the sense that, as far as
they were concerned, my sister and
I could pursue a career in the arts
(she is a concert pianist) because our
future husbands would support us. My
brother wanted to be a philosopher
but they suggested very strongly that
he get a profession, so he became a
psychiatrist. But he plays classical
guitar and has published a couple of
thriller detective novels.
Theatre icon Jennie Reznek has

worked as an aerialist, a clown and
a puppeteer. But her real passion lies
in helping others take centre stage.
I was always the lead in all the
school plays. You know that irritating
person who always gets the
opportunities? That was me. There
was never, ever, ever a question for
me whether Id like to do anything
else. At one point I thought I might
like to pursue architecture, but my
dad told me that my mathematics
wasnt strong enough and that
girls couldnt do architecture.
When I got my first paying job after
drama school, my parents nearly fell
over backwards. They werent expecting that at all. And then I married
Mark [Fleishman], who was also in
the theatre, so their whole plan just
kind of fell apart. He had done two
years of law at the beginning of his
studies, and my mother constantly
asked him, Mark, when do you think
you might continue with your law
degree? We used to time her it
usually took about 20 minutes before
she brought it up. But they were both
incredibly supportive of what Mark
and I managed to achieve even

though wed trashed their plans.
I felt very strongly that there needed
to be a kind of theatre developed
in SA that could speak across the
boundaries of the language divide.
So I started thinking about more
physically based theatre. There was
no one locally who was doing anything like that, so I scraped together
all the money that I could and
with my parents help I went and
studied movement theatre with Ecole
Jacques Lecoq in Paris for two years.
I often say that he gave me the gift
of myself. I was trained at UCT to
be an interpretive actor, but Lecoq
helped me understand that I could
make theatre with my own stories.
Teaching is about transformation
finding techniques for young people
to become visible to themselves, to
experience a sense of themselves
and their own skills. It is absolutely
mouthwatering to meet a new group
strap
BY NAME
of students from very conservative

communities who wont even look
me in the eye and I can help them
get to a point where they can stand
confidently in the space, and connect
with the audience.
I cant live my life just for me. It
doesnt make sense. Unemployment
among young people in South Africa
is so high and there is such a need
for them to find a way to generate
their own work. Thats what drives
us, drives the company.
We run a programme in the townships called Culture Gangs for about
100150 schoolgoing kids to
encourage young people to commit
to culture rather than crime. We also
have 20 young people in our fulltime training programme, and weve
managed to get 13 trainees into varsity,
all first-time university attendees in
their families. 82% of the people
that weve trained are employed in
the professional industry, and we
re-employ a lot of graduated trainees
in productions that tour overseas.
I balance my life between teaching
and my performance work and of
course the fundraising that is needed
to keep it all going. I spend 80%
of my time doing what I dont want
to do, to spend 20% of my time
doing what I absolutely love doing.
Our work is made possible thanks
to the support of organisations like
the National Arts Council, National
Lotteries Distribution Trust Fund,
Rand Merchant Bank, Oppenheimer
Memorial Trust, HCI Foundation
and Distell. Artscape came on board
when we were really struggling, and
there are people who give us little
bits of money all the time because
they believe in what we do.
The solo work that I make is often
a meeting between my own very
private world and a metaphor, or
JENNIE IN HER LATEST SOLO SHOW,

MAGNET THEATRES I TURNED
AWAY AND SHE WAS GONE
a bigger, more epic narrative. The

more personal the work is, the more
universal it is. Every Year, Every Day,
I Am Walking was about refugees, but
the internal story for me was about
the loss of my parents. My father had
died, and I had to pack up my childhood home. That got me thinking
about home and what it means to
lose home in an irrevocable way.
Losing your parents feels brutal no
matter how or when it happens.
My family says Im a female version
of my dad we look very similar,
we both love the outdoors and
were incredibly active. In terms of
temperament, Im also very closely
connected to him. He was decorated in
the war; he was a fighter. He wasnt
a victim. He was also freer than my

mother allowed herself to be. And
Im the same. Im not a victim
Im constantly making a plan, trying
to make things work. I fight, and that
has its own problems because I
dont let go. And, of course, theres
the other side of the coin sometimes its difficult to acknowledge
vulnerability. He was also very
invested in his work he worked
until two weeks before he died
and I feel the same. My dignity lies
very strongly in the work that I do
and what Ive managed to build.
Mark is my partner at home and
here at the Magnet Theatre, and 27
years on, the relationship is still
alive. Remarkably so, because its
not easy in this business. Weve

learned to do it. After 27 years of
marriage you learn how to not need
so much; you learn how to let go,
how to trust, how to give each other
space, how not to ask, how not to
push. You learn how to support.
Were good friends. Hes my buddy.
PHOTOGRAPHS: CHELSEA MACLACHLAN, JESSE KRAMER. HAIR AND MAKEUP: CINDY NORTON USING DERMALOGICA
At one point, early in our marriage,

Mark and I ran off and joined the
circus. Literally! An old colleague of
mine asked me to join a non-animal
circus called The Dream Circus.
We packed up, rented our house in
Joburg and came to Cape Town.
I had signed on to be a clown, but
then they asked me, Wouldnt you
like to learn trapeze? Im terrified
of heights but I said yes. It was
difficult and I screamed all the time,
but I eventually overcame my fears.
I wasnt a victim to those fears
coming back to my father again.
Eventually I learned a single-rope
act and then they decided to teach
me cradle trapeze as well. It was one
of the most empowering experiences
of my life. I felt so strong.
I was quite an outspoken feminist
at that point, and adamant about not
shaving, for one thing. But obviously
I couldnt stand there in my sparkly
outfit with hairy armpits, so I shaved,
I wore a leotard halfway up my bum
I became a poppie! It was liberating
to kind of let go of all the notions of
what a feminist should look like.
They also wanted me to learn the
unicycle, so every afternoon I used
to go out on a little piece of lawn,
do half a circle and fall over, half
a circle and fall over. After three
weeks I managed to do three-quarters
of a circle and fall over. It took me
seven weeks to learn to ride that
thing. Falling over and getting up,
falling over and getting up, until one
day, magically, I did it.
I loved the circus. Mark left after

three months he couldnt stand it.
It didnt last very long they ran
out of money after a year. But it was
a wonderful, mad time.
separate. I cant fix everything

for them. And yet I want to. Im
very independent Im not in my
childrens pockets. But when Zac
went on a gap year overseas, I was
devastated. Completely and utterly
shredded. Mark, Hannah and I came
back from dropping him off and we
were all in tears. I had such a strong
sense of the end of something. My
job now is to just stand by and be
there if he needs something, if he
asks for anything. Its
such a shocking shift.
The craziest thing I ever did was a

7,3km open water swim from Robben
island to Blaauwberg the so-called
Freedom swim. I trained and trained
and trained. And then, one ridiculous
day, I decided to do it. The water
temperature dropped
to 10C it was
Im not a
very, very cold. I
victim Im
completed it in 2
Having children and
constantly
hours and 40-somelosing my parents were
making a
thing minutes. I was
my most life-changing
hypothermic and
plan, trying to experiences. It really
had to be wrapped
makes you understand
make things
up in a little silver
this flow of life that
work. I fight,
blanket. I didnt
you are in. You think
and that has
remember where I
youre having a baby,
its own
lived and gave them
but youre not. Before
problems
my parents address
you know it, that baby
because I
in Pietermaritzburg.
changes into a toddler,
dont let go.
That should give
and the toddler becomes
you an idea about
a 10-year-old and then
my particular brand of madness!
a preteen and then a teen. It has
forced me to be really present and
Mark and I started a family quite
watchful; I cant get stuck because
late, after six or seven years of
theyre so much in transition.
marriage. We played around,
travelled and had a free life and
Im 55 and I dont hide my age.
then knuckled down to the business
I dont hide the grey in my hair,
of a family. My son, bless him, has
although sometimes I wonder if I
just been accepted at drama school.
should. But it feels too exhausting
Zac has always been interested in
to do it. Personally I would never
drama, and now hes going to be
have plastic surgery or do any of
doing theatre-making at UCT
that stuff. I would rather work
taught by his dad! I know Im biased,
towards accepting the process of
but hes a very good writer. Hes also
ageing and the impact that it has
our harshest critic. The jury is still
on the body than trying to squeeze
out on what Hannah wants to do.
myself into something thats not
Shes very bright but also shy, but
me. We are going to change, and the
when she does her drama pieces for
only peace is in embracing that.
school, shes excellent. We might
have a dynasty on our hands.
They are probably my greatest
teachers, those two. Teaching me
to love and let go, to listen and keep
Look out for Magnet Theatres

The Heart of Redness, directed
by Mark Fleishman in collaboration
with CTO, at the Fugard in August.
cover story
Anne
BY KATE SIDLEY
ahead
Anne Hathaway has

had her detractors, but
audiences love her
and it seems shes
getting the last laugh.
hes been described

as the natural
successor to Judy
Garland and Audrey
Hepburn. Indeed,
Anne Hathaway does seem to channel
that old Hollywood glamour, but shes
always ready to give it a twist of New
York cool, and to bring an element of
surprise a dramatically cropped hairstyle,
an unexpected role.
And then, of course, theres that face.
In The Princess Bride audiences first
saw that light-up-the-room smile, and the
then-teenage actor was catapulted into the
limelight. She went on to prove herself to
be a highly versatile performer, who could
go from girl-next-door to siren, cutesy to
angsty, and who would turn her hand to
any genre. She had a small but memorable

role in the Oscar-wining Brokeback
Mountain as the wife of Jake Gyllenhaal.
And audiences loved her in The Devil
Wears Prada, in which she played the
hapless assistant to the terrifying magazine
editor Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep).
Shes done voice-overs in The Simpsons
and Rio, and won rave reviews (and cracked
a Best Actress Oscar nomination) for
her performance as the tormented freshfrom-rehab sister Kym in Rachel Getting
Married. More recently, she was cast as
Selina Kyle, akaCatwoman, in The Dark
Knight Rises, a role Anne says she loved.
In 2013 she snagged a bunch of award
nominations and the Oscar for Best
Supporting Actress for her portrayal of
Fantine inLes Misrables. But as her star
About
Anne
Anne was born in Brooklyn,
to a lawyer father and an
actress mother.
She began her performing
career as an accomplished
soprano who performed at
Carnegie Hall at 14.
ANNE & ADAM

ON HOLIDAY AT
MIAMI BEACH,
FLORIDA.
Her parents named her after

William Shakespeares wife.
Her first break into acting came
in 1999, when Anne was cast as
the oldest daughter, Megan, in
the family drama Get Real.
rose, so did the haters. She was accused of being too perfect and too
actressy. Maybe it was nothing more
than simple jealousy hey, she got
the flawless skin, those doe eyes, that
generous mouth and an Oscar but
something about her success set off
a vociferous band of Internet trolls
and bullies, known as Hathahaters.
Anne was surprisingly honest in
an interview with Ellen DeGeneres
about the cyberbullies and their
effect on her life. The actor recalled
the moment she realised that there
were strangers out there who hated
her. My friends and I had an idea
forFunny or Dieand we wanted
to do something on celebrity
pregnancy rumours, so we just
googled pregnancy rumours and the
story came up, she said. When she
saw the headline Why Does Everyone Hate Anne Hathaway? she felt
as if shed been punched in the gut.
She admits that at first she
couldnt help but listen to all the
meanness and negativity. She told
Ellen: You try to shut it off and
I couldnt, and then I realised why
I couldnt was I hadnt learned to
love myself yet. I hadnt gotten there.

And if you dont love yourself, when
someone else says horrible things to
you, part of you is always going to
believe them.
She faced a painful situation, and
used it to help her grow and to get
to know herself better: I want to
learn who I am. I dont want to feel
like Im fragile every time I leave
the house because Im so dependent
on what other people think about
me. Ultimately, she told DeGeneres,
the whole experience has brought
her to a place where she felt more
love and compassion for everyone,
including herself.
We all know from schoolyard
bullies that a small group of meanies
can make a big noise, but Anne has
her admirers and defenders too.
Lena Dunham took a stand in
support, tweeting, Ladies: Anne
Hathaway is a feminist and she has
amazing teeth. Lets save our bad
attitudes for the ones who arent
advancing the cause.
And Anne herself has even
managed to laugh off the haters. In
a stunning cabaret performance on
Legend has it that when

auditioning for the part of klutzy
Princess Mia in The Princess
Diaries, Anne accidentally fell
off her chair and that clinched
the deal!
She was brought up Catholic
but when her older brother came
out of the closet, she decided
she couldnt support the church
that didnt support him.
In 2008, her personal life made
headlines when her Italian real
estate developer boyfriend
Raffaello Follieri was arrested
on fraud charges.
She married actor and
jewellery designer Adam
Shulman in California 2012.
She hosted the 2011 Academy
Awards together with James
Franco. At 27, she was the
youngest host ever.
In Jenny Lewiss hilarious music
video, Anne dons an Adidas
tracksuit and a stick-on
moustache and does a little
bit of breakdancing.
Song One will be releasing in
South Africa in May 2015.
PHOTOGRAPHS: GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES, GREATSTOCK/CORBIS
I want to learn
who I am. I dont
want to feel like
Im fragile every
time I leave the
house because Im
so dependent on
what other people
think about me.
the Tonight Show, she joined host

Jimmy Fallon to perform jazzy
versions of popular rap songs like
Snoop Doggs Gin and Juice and
50 Cents In da Club. When they
launched into Kendrick Lamars
Bitch, Dont Kill My Vibe, she
ad-libbed, telling those Hathahating
bitches not to kill her vibe.
Last year, she came back stronger
than ever in the blockbuster space
exploration film, Interstellar. The
movie challenged Anne in new ways.
The set wasnt for wimps she says.
There was no slacking off in this
physically demanding role she was
suspended in a harness and dunked
in freezing water. She suffered from
motion sickness, and narrowly avoided
hypothermia. It paid off audiences
and critics loved the movie.

With Song One, Anne added
producer to her already impressive
resum. She plays Franny, an archaeology student who is called home
when her estranged younger brother
falls into a coma after a car accident.
She uses writings from his journal
to explore the New York City music
scene, eventually meeting up with
his favourite musician (played by
SA-born Johnny Flynn). Local Anne
fans can look forward to seeing it
midway though this year.
She also wrapped up filming on
The Intern, a comedy that hits our
screens in September. She takes on
the role of Jules Ostin, founder of a
fashion based e-commerce company,
who hires Ben Whittaker (Robert
De Niro), 40 years her senior, as her

intern. She finds that he has more to
offer than she had expected.
2015 is set to be another year
of hard work for Anne. Besides
reprising her role as the White Queen
in the sequel to Alice in Wonderland,
Anne goes back to her theatre roots
on the New York stage, when she
teams up with prize-winning director
Julie Taymor for the play Grounded.
Anne plays an elite fighter pilot who
is reassigned to operate drones from
a trailer in the Nevada desert. In a
70-minute monologue, she describes
her life, aiming at targets thousands
of miles away and then going home
to her husband and baby.
And as for the haters? Hey, if
theyre there, Annes not listening.
my story
AS TOLD TO CHELSEA JOHNSTONE
My
dad
killed my
mom
Blow the Whistles most recent

ambassador, Tamsyn-Lee Brown
(30), was just 13 years old when
her dad killed her mom and then
himself. She tells us her story in
the hope that it will help other
victims of abuse to take a stand.
y dad wasnt
always a
monster.
There were
days when
hed take us
out, wed go away for weekends,
go rubber-ducking, play rugby and
watch cricket it was awesome.
Hed really let us see what the world
was all about.
But then there were days when
hed just lose it. Hed beat my mom,
my brother and me fortunately he
never harmed my baby sister. Hed
also cheat on my mom, do drugs and
spend money recklessly. I know he
really did love us, but he had some
serious issues.
I was six years old when my mom
had to go to the hospital. My dad had

a lady friend who was basically a part
of the family, and she stayed over
while my mom was away. As a sixyear-old, I didnt think anything was
wrong with that, so I told my mom
about it. The next minute, we were
flying to Joburg. My siblings and I
had no idea what was happening.
After two weeks we went back
home. When we opened the door,
my dad had a set out a table full of
balloons and gave each of us a fluffy
toy. He cried and told us things would
be better and that he would never
hurt us again. He promised he would
be the best dad and husband ever. He
asked my mom to renew their vows
which they did. She believed he
would change.
But I always felt there was something about that night that didnt feel
right I later found out what it was.
I remember one morning my dad
asked me for the house key. It was
in my messy school bag and though
I frantically rummaged through it,
I couldnt find it quickly enough.
He whipped out a stick and started
hitting me, splitting my hand open.
When my mom tried to help me, he
turned around and told her, If you
try to stop me from reprimanding my
child, Ill do the same thing to you.
When he said that, I could see my
mom was helpless. I couldnt take it
any more and I snapped. I ran to the
front gate of our house and screamed
for help. The worst part is that
nobody came out to help me. But my
dad was so shocked by my reaction

that he never hit me again.
Six months later, I woke up to my
mom and dad shouting at each other.
I was feeling really ill that night and
walked to the lounge just to breathe a
bit. When I put my hand down beside
me, I felt a clump of hair. I was too
sick to make sense of it.
But my mom came into the lounge
and asked if I was okay. She hugged
me and as I put my hand on her head,
I found that the hair on the one side
of her head had been ripped out by
my dad. I couldnt understand how
she could be comforting me when
he had just done that to her. A few
weeks later, it was her birthday and
he took us to Spur to celebrate. He
sat at the table and wouldnt stop
laughing at the fact that she was half
bald. I think that was it for my mom.
Within the next two weeks she had
made a plan to leave him. The day
before we moved out she went to the
police station and said, Im going
to leave my husband and I think hes
going to lose it when I do. Please will
you help me? They agreed to help.
My mom moved us out of our
home and took us to an apartment.
She also took his gun away. But
when he came home to an empty
house and discovered his gun missing too, he went to the police, who
called and told her to return his gun.
When she went to the police station to hand it over, he was waiting
for her outside. Yet again, he told her
he would change. He said, We can
go to therapy together. Meet me at
the house at four oclock tomorrow.
That evening she told me about
the night wed returned from Joburg.
She said it was the first time he had
put a gun to her head and said, If you
ever leave me again, I will kill you.
I wish I could remember more of
what she said. I know she told me
that even if you loved someone, you
have to decide at some point whether
or not theyre good for you. It was as
if she knew something was going to
happen to her.
The next day, after school, she
dropped us off and said she was
going to pop in on my dad. She
promised shed be home about five
oclock, but she never came back.
My granny and uncle came over
*Blow the Whistle is a national campaign

against woman and child abuse.
Visit their website: www.whistle.co.za
to see if we were okay and asked

us if we had heard from Mom. We
were so independent that we didnt
think too much of the fact that we
hadnt heard from her. I went to bed
that night, but couldnt sleep. I kept
hearing footsteps. I kept thinking the
two of them were coming home.
Next morning, her bed was still
made and my gran came in and told
us to get ready for school. By then
we knew something was wrong and
I said, Hell, no. Im not going to
school. I was going to stay with my
grandparents until somebody told me
what was happening.
Nobody answered the door at our
home in Fish Hoek and we couldnt
get into the apartment until the
landlord gave police permission to
knock down the door. Thats when
they discovered their bodies. My dad
had killed my mom by shooting her
point-blank five times; later that

day he shot himself. We assume he
went looking for us, too, because
she had died at around half-past four
in the afternoon and he died at
about 9 oclock that evening and he
had asked the neighbour if she had
seen us.
I think of my mom as a hero. She
had to decide if she was going to
deal with the beatings for the rest of
her life, run away for the rest of her
life or whether she was going to take
a stand. She chose to confront him
and purposely never told him where
we were. She saved us.
I tell the story of my childhood
and my mom with confidence, as it
has made me who I am today. I want
people to hear it.
I left home when I was 19 and
dated a guy who was seven years
older than me. I fell pregnant and had
my son when I was 20. Things with

his dad didnt work out, unfortunately. I started surfing and I loved it
because it was something that helped
me get through all that had happened
the one good thing my dad did was
encourage us to be active.
Surfing allowed me to be free
the ocean is healing. You have to
have lots of patience and focus when
you surf because at the end of the
day, its all about you. No wave is
the same and it will never be perfect.
I waitressed for a while before
hearing about Good Hope FMs
search for a female sports presenter.
I decided to go for it and despite
fumbling my words at the audition,
I got the job!
I had no experience and I was
thrown in at the deep end. Luckily
for me, I am a strong swimmer! Four
years later, Im doing my daily surf
and beach reports even producing
The Ayanda Tini show. They really
took me in at Radio Good Hope, and
I am so happy there.
Id always wanted to be in the
entertainment industry and this is
just the beginning for me. I feel like
I have played the victim and suffered
enough during my childhood now
I want to live. I wont ignore what
happened to me as a child because
it has all helped me get to this point
in my life. Thats also why I joined
the Blow the Whistle campaign. It
helps me to have my voice heard and
hopefully my story will resonate with
other victims. I want someone to go,
Okay, enough is enough.
PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE. HAIR & MAKEUP: LYNDAL FITZGERALD FROM SUPERNOVA
I tell the story

of my childhood
and my mom
with confidence
because it has
made me who
I am today. I want
people to hear it.
112374L
www.samsung.com
0860 726 7864
profile
BY KATE SIDLEY
Doing
things
her
way
M
ention her name
and youll likely
get one of two responses. Theres the
gushy fangirl response: Oh, I love
Amanda Palmer! Shes the coolest
person ever! And then theres:
Amanda who?
As a singer and performer, shes
built up a cult following since first
coming to our attention as half of
the punk-cabaret duo, The Dresden
Dolls. Admirers (full disclosure: Im
one of them) know her as a creative
spirit, a feminist, and a writer and
performer of smart, personal and
often provocative songs.
But its only recently, with the
huge popularity of her TED Talk,
The Art of Asking, that shes become
better known in more mainstream
circles. Her recent memoir, The Art
of Asking or How I Learnt to Stop
Worrying and Let People Help,
expands on that talk. The theme is
simply this: that asking is intrinsic
to all human relationships, and that
learning to ask for what you want
Amanda Palmer
is anything but
conventional.
Shes even worked
as a living statue
which is really a
dressed-up form
of begging. But
its this kind of
experience that
made her realise
that asking others
for help is a
necessary part of
our relationships.
and need is a valid, even essential,

part of being in the world. But its
hard, because we fear being vulnerable or looking needy, or think we are
undeserving, and so our inability to
ask for help paralyses our lives and
our relationships.
I admit that Id rather chop off
a limb than ask for help, which
Amanda assures me is pretty normal.
There was an overwhelming
resonance to this topic, she said, on
her whirlwind visit to Johannesburg
earlier this year. It really hit a nerve
with people. And it was cross-cultural,
and not just with women. People
really struggle with it.
In the book, Amanda describes
experiencing a direct form of asking.
She supported herself as a living
statue known as the 8-Foot Bride.
Shed stand stock-still on a crate, her
long white dress draped to the floor,
a hat at her feet, waiting for tossed
strap
BY NAME
us, the fancy struck her when she

was here and local fans were treated
to a show at The Sheds@1Fox).
She freely admits to craving
connection. Still, she says, she can
walk around New York without an
inconvenient amount of recognition
(remember, shes very recognisable
for a start she shaves her brows and
draws them in with an eyeliner).
Theres a certain degree of fame
that would be a pain in the ass, she
says. I had a slow
build over time,
resulting in a strong
community. Ive tried
to create an environment of humanity,
not celebrity. Theres
a real sweet spot in
social media. If I was
Lady Gaga, I couldnt
be the way I am with
my community; it
would be too much,
too noisy. The scale doesnt work.
Amanda has a devoted fan base,
but she also takes a lot of flak.
Shes loud, shes opinionated, shes
unapologetic and she says fuck
a lot. She wrote a rather wonderful
song, Map of Tasmania, about
female pubic hair. Oh, and she
doesnt shave her armpits. Society
can take a lot of nonsense from its
music stars but seems to draw the
line at body hair.
Not long after her successful and
much-publicised Kickstarter
campaign, she went on tour and
as usual invited local musos to join
her on stage. She offered no pay, just
a good time, great exposure, free
beer and hugs. Critics accused her
of exploitation and opportunism.
After all, fans had just ponied up
$1,2 million. She felt deeply misunderstood that her regular, pull-inand-make-some-music approach was
being misconstrued as grabby.
Its not just her professional life
that is out of the ordinary. Her
marriage to Neil Gaiman, 16 years
I now think
hes smashingly
handsome and
he calls me the
most beautiful
woman in the
world. Aint
love grand?
her senior, is a regular source of

intrigue. Our marriage doesnt
follow conventional rules, she says.
We dont cohabit. Ive been on the
road pretty much constantly since we
met. Thats my life. Neil travels a lot
too, on book tours and speaking
engagements.
Shes clearly crazy about him
she organised a surprise art-event
flashmob wedding in New Orleans
for his birthday but it wasnt love
at first sight. She writes: I thought
he looked like a baggy-eyed, grumpy
old man, and he thought I looked like
a chubby little boy I now think
hes smashingly handsome and he
calls me the most beautiful woman
in the world. Aint love grand?
They also, famously, have an open
marriage. And its not just convenience for two people constantly on the
road. She insists that it is fundamental to their marriage, something they
both want and need. It works because
they both put each other first. No
other relationship is allowed to
imperil theirs, and they talk about
their other relationships in a way that
isnt hurtful. That, and some basic
ground rules like no crazy dangerous people!
Were very open with each other
and share everything, she says. To
have a truly loving partnership, you
have to be completely transparent.
For a glimpse of her essence,
search YouTube for her Dear Daily
Mail video. During a set at the
Glastonbury Festival, Amandas
breast escaped her bra. Instead of
reviewing the gig, British tabloid
Daily Mail made much of this
slippage, running a large picture
under the headline, Making a boob
of herself. Palmer responded with a
funny and satirical song in chipper
time, addressing the body-shaming
newspapers misogynist pile of twats,
before singing the last verse naked.
And that, ladies and gentlemen,
pretty much captures the irrepressible
Amanda Palmer.
PHOTOGRAPH: GREATSTOCK/CORBIS
dollars. When a passer-by obliged,

shed look at them and offer a flower.
To hear her tell it, her days as a
living statue were full of moments of
real human contact. We all have our
Achilles heel when it comes to
asking and I had to investigate my
own, she says. In her book, she
describes how difficult she found it
to accept any kind of financial help
from her husband Neil Gaiman, the
acclaimed fantasy novelist and
author of Coraline.
Shed rather borrow
from a stranger than
from him to fund an
upcoming tour, even
though he thought
she was crazy.
But asking of her
fans is different. In
a move described by
some as the future of
the music industry,
in 2012 she crowdsourced the funding of her new
album and raised $1,2 million via
Kickstarter. A masterful modern
communicator, Palmer reaches
millions through her blog, Twitter
and Facebook, where she constantly
shares, asks and interacts with her
community in a very personal way.
Nearly 25 000 of them chipped in to
fund the album, Theatre is Evil.
In fact, the Kickstarter campaign
brought her to South Africa in
January. One of the fundraising
elements was this astonishing offer:
raise $5000 and Ill play at your
house party anywhere in the world!
Some Pretoria fans did just that and,
as promised, she arrived, ukulele in
hand, to perform in their living room.
This is entirely in keeping with
Palmers asking philosophy in the
past she has asked fans for a couch to
crash on, or a piano for a gig. Shes
even crowdsourced food for her
band. But she gives, too, encouraging
fans to download and share her
music and playing free ninja gigs
when the fancy strikes her (lucky for
curvology
why this man thinks
human survival is down to
womens bottoms
talking point
BY HELEN RUMBELOW
ere in a Cambridge
college, and Im having a
tutorial in one of the dons
rooms. But about halfway
through the session with David
Bainbridge I shift uncomfortably
on my well-upholstered bottom,
despite and because of it. I was there
to hear this reproductive biologist
talk on the awesome majesty of the
female arse, but from the outset I had
been struggling to
muster the requisite
It is our bums
for our
that have ensured seriousness
surroundings. So,
the survival
for example, after
of the next
his exposition on a
generation when fascinating piece of
food was scarce. evolutionary science,
More than that, my eyes skittered
it is our specially over the learned
tomes on his wall,
enriched bum
made a note to self
fat that made
us the smartest to call him Professor
Booty and asked,
creatures
Always been a
on earth.
bum man, then?
To which he
replied with dignity: In science,
understanding something better
doesnt make you appreciate it less.
But then it happened. A genuine,
rare, life-changing moment. After
hearing Bainbridge talk about his
radical new book, Curvology, I found
myself seeing female bottoms clearly
for the first time. Not, as in my case,
something to be draped in swathes
of funeral black, as if wishing it
were dead, nor dieting it into thin
air, nor fretting if it looks big in this.
Bainbridge has a simple but powerful
revelation: no other animal has a
fat bum, and this is because female
buttocks have a higher purpose.
That is nothing less than to save the
BOOTYCALL: BEYONC
human race.
FLASHING THAT FAMOUS
Recent research has shown that
DERRIRE ON THE RED
CARPET
the fat stored in the mothers bottom
is particularly enriched with DHA
the fatty acids so important to brain

development. It is this that builds
the infant nervous system, and this
fat particularly, is diverted to breastfeeding. Women who breastfeed, he
notes, lose fat in their bottom disproportionately to those that dont.
Some scientists even suggest that
there could be a link between large
bums and the quality of breastmilk.
As he puts it in his book, Womens
buttocks and thighs can be seen as
living evidence of the importance
of storing fats to fuel the growth of
childrens extravagantly large brains
bums make brains.
It is our bums that have ensured
the survival of the next generation
when food was scarce. More than
that, it is our specially enriched bum
fat that made us the smartest creatures
on earth. Womens bums dont just
make brains, they made us human.
The photo of Kim Kardashians
enormous buttocks may have broken
the internet, but Freddie Mercury
was more accurate: fat-bottomed
girls make the world go around. So,
I say slowly, for this is having a profound effect on me, the survival of
our species rests on female bottoms?
It does, as we survive on our
intelligence. Humans havent got
much else: were a pretty weedy
bunch. Fat at the right time is the
key to our survival. Lots of that is
to do with female fat. Male fat is
not that exceptional: its similar
to most male mammals. Its the
women that are different.
or a middle-aged
bloke who has spent
most of his career
at St Catherines
College in zoology,
Bainbridge is an
unlikely champion
of female body image. And he says
he wasnt influenced by his wife
or his two teenage daughters. However, his work on our cavewoman
ancestors is more useful in underin a pre-bra era. So too our fat humps
standing the weirdnesses around
over the hips. Other female animals
female shape in the 21st century than
lay down fat like a male does, all
many a feminist tome. He argues
over or with a fat belly. Human
against the idea that the pressures
women are unusual. They put this
on women are purely cultural. In his
fat in mechanically awkward places.
rebuke to Susie Orbach he writes,
The female body shape always struck
Fat is a feminine issue.
me as fundamentally strange.
I have never found evolutionary
The first reason for our unique
biology very enlightening about
look is that females are literally more
gender politics: its proponents seem
evolved than men. Human muzzles are
preoccupied with infidelity and whos
short and our faces are flat, especially
better at map-reading. But just a few
in females; humans have smaller
pages into Curvology had me looking
teeth, lower brows and less hair than
at my relationship in
primates, especially
a new light. It is a
females. The big
Fat just gets
rule across the animal
brains of humans led
such a bad
kingdom that, as he
to a distinctive domed
writes, the sex which press. When you head; womens brains
realise what
contributes most to
are larger relative to
childcare gets to sexfemale fat has body size, but they
ually select the other
done for human also look larger due
sex. Peahens look
to larger foreheads
evolution, its
after the peachicks,
terrible the way and smaller chins.
while peacocks are
We do not know
that we think
total layabouts
why women should
about it now. be more modernbut that means that
peahens hold all
looking than men,
the cards when looking for a mate.
Bainbridge writes, but it has been
Peahens can be frumpy; peacocks
suggested that many of the charactercompete to look ever more splendid.
istics men find attractive are the
Evolutionary biologists know,
same as those which make them look
Bainbridge says, that humans are
distinctively human. This would
built to be mainly monogamous
have been helpful when there were
and that fathers had to perform a
several hominin species circulating
large part of childcare. Most male
and a human male had to be sure of
animals mate with anything that
mating with a human female.
looks vaguely female because that
Breasts are still mysterious: these
is the end of the matter, but human
pendulous, fatty, uniquely human
males select breeding partners
things. Boob size isnt important to
carefully. This pickiness is a backsurvival, or else they would have
handed way of proving that the
evolved into a perfect Darwinian
dad will be still around to change
size. Instead, they vary in size way
nappies at 3am. An obsession with
more than any male part: some
female form is a side-effect of
women have breasts 10 times the
one-woman loyalty.
size of others. But Bainbridge is
So what did our male ancestors
more focused on hips and bums.
look for? Mens body shape follows
Why, I ask, did women put their
mammal logic, but women are freaks.
brain-making fat stores there, and
To have large, non-lactating breasts
not in a male-style beer belly?
is zoologically bizarre, he writes,
The fat is related to areas
especially when they hinder running
that make women look feminine:
TEXT: HELEN RUMBELOW / THE TIMES, LONDON / NEWS SYNDICATION, PHOTOGRAPH: GALLOIMAGES/GETTY IMAGES
mammary glands and hips. Their

hips were already wide because
they needed to give birth to these
big-headed babies, so men started
being attracted to the fat that made
their hips look even wider.
So while men have vastly different tastes in breasts, they are, across
cultures, very uniform in seeking a
small waist to large hip ratio. The
fat that women deposit to form the
hourglass is different from belly fat:
it does no harm to female health and
may in fact be protective, he says.
I tell him that it is difficult now
for girls to become women, because
their bodies must acquire fat, which
is demonised in our culture. Teenage boys acquire muscle, which is
admired uncomplicatedly, and need
very little fat. But healthy girls will
transform into beings made up of a
quarter fat. In the past, that may have
been welcomed. Now, fat is seen as
the enemy. The process of becoming
a woman is to acquire what we are
told is most hateful about appearance. This is a confusion between
unhealthy obesity and absolutely
vital curves. Our culture has not been
clear enough about that distinction;
instead women aspire to be as
hard-bodied and lean as males.
It must be hard for girls, Bainbridge says. As a man its very hard
to understand what that must be like
especially since, as a man, those
are exactly the bits of women that
you like, and you see women
so conflicted about them. You feel
powerless. It doesnt make sense.
A boy growing up does not face
that conflict.
I ask whether we do not understand
enough, praise enough, the biological
importance of female fat, separate
from unhealthy male-pattern belly fat.
He says: Fat just gets such a bad
press. When you realise what female
fat has done for human evolution, its
terrible the way that we think about
it now. Fat is equated with illness,
greed and laziness. Well what are

women to do, when that is the very
stuff that makes them what they are?
If youre a man, the best fat
pattern is very little, he says, but
women need to have fat. They are
told that reaching the ideal amount
of fat is very important, but its not
clear what that ideal is.
ccording to Bainbridge, the fashion

in female fat,
from Twiggy to
Marilyn Monroe,
is countercyclical to the
economy: To me economics is a
special form of biology. Ten thousand
years ago we worried about food
availability, now we worry about the
economy. Its the same thing. When
things look a bit iffy, wars or recessions, slightly larger and slightly older
women seem to become the fashion.
He believes that affluence this
novel phase in human development
instead favours slimness, as it
shows that in times of plenty parents
are able to adapt and thus divert
calories into their children. The
recent trend for magnificent bottoms
(see Beyonc, Kim Kardashian,
Jennifer Lopez, the hit pop song All
About That Bass) is possibly a reaction to a more uncertain economy.
In 2004 the most common Google
search in America for changing ones
bottom with surgery was to make it
smaller. In 2014, the searches wanting
to enlarge outnumbered reductions.
Another idea from Bainbridge is
that the fashion industry is supplying fewer female role models than
before, fashion being a closed shop
relatively low on heterosexual men.
Perhaps, he says, optimistically,
we are training ourselves to
understand what different types
of fatness mean.
One of the bravest parts of his
book is an attempt to understand
eating disorders from an evolutionary

point of view. Did he hesitate over
this chapter?
I was worried about writing about
eating disorders, he says. They are
inherently very sad. But the reason
I wanted to was just because they are
an extremely strange phenomenon.
Its obvious why modern society
makes us fat, but why would it make
us starve?
Bainbridge draws together
various interesting but unsatisfying
evolutionary explanations.
Fasting, he says, could have
been a way to divide up food in a
tribe that didnt have enough. Or a
way for a woman to control her own
reproduction when there isnt enough
food around. Should she stop breeding? Should she perhaps focus on
her brother having lots of offspring?
None of these theories on their own
is convincing as a cause, but if you
take enough of these responses and
put them together, it could explain
why the human brain does the weird
things it does. Otherwise theyre are
just these horrible things that have
no explanation. If we at least had
an idea why humans get them, at
least that would be something to
work with.
If my daughter ever grows up to
fret about her bottom, Ill tell her the
world should pin a medal on it, gently,
for services to human intelligence.
Bainbridge says he makes a point of
never commenting on his daughters
appearance, and hes relieved theyve
grown up pretty confident. Although,
if his wife ever asks him if she
looks big in a particular skirt, he
always replies truthfully
that he loves the way
she looks.
Then she goes and
asks their daughters.
CURVOLOGY: The Origins
and Power of Female Body
Shape by David Bainbridge
the
Graham
rom the get-go,

Graham Norton
sets the tone of
his show: down
the stairs he
struts, prancing,
dancing and
camping it up
before firing off
a quick opening gag. The jokes
often downright lame (like the one
introducing Jamie Dornan and his
starring role in Fifty Shades,
which was coming soon) but the
message is clear: laugh raucously,
be silly, have a bit of (not too
squeaky-clean) FUN.
For those not tuned into DStv
channel 120 every Tuesday
evening, The Graham Norton
Show sees a selection of about
three celebs ranged on the red
couch. Theres chit-chat, a clip
or two from their soon-to-bereleased films, some silly tweets
perhaps, live music and then
someone from the audience
takes a seat in the red chair
to tell a story at the risk of
Graham flipping them backwards if they bore him. Yes,
you have to see it to believe it.
Its about synergy: the show is
greater than the sum of its parts.
Its a coup, of course, to get the
celebs to come out. And come out
they do. Celia Imrie (Madge in Best
62 Fairlady|Month 2015
profile
BY ANNA RICH
Norton show
and
tell
and Second Best Exotic Marigold
Hotel) cut her holiday short just so
she could make it. For the star-struck
among us, their presence alone may
be enough to get us to tune in. But, as
Graham says, fame is no guarantee
of chat-show gold. Case in point?
The time Tom Cruise released Jack
Reacher. And that lack of spark is
interesting in itself: in this instance,
and very rarely for him, Graham is
a bit too star-struck or kind to
admit that Tom didnt come off all
that well. Instead, he goes on about
how nice Tom is as he might be.
But not terribly entertaining on the
chat-show couch, unless hes
jumping up and down on it.
Often, though, the chit-chat
spins off into something far more
inspiring. Take the combination of
will.i.am from The Black-Eyed Peas
and Miriam Margolyes (Professor
Sprout in Harry Potter). Putting
people side by side on the couch is
like conducting an experiment in
chemistry, where youve no idea
how the various elements will react,
Graham says. Miriam gives will.i.am
what-for for misusing the word
like, which he comes back from
fantastically well. Their worlds are
so different, and Miriams candour
so extreme that it may have been
socially awkward or even offensive,
Graham commented, but what
we saw was the blossoming of a
Is there an A-lister
alive who hasnt
been on his TV
chat show? Or
ever revealed
more than when
they sat on that
red couch? Why
does everyone
warm to
Graham Norton,
and is he as
forthcoming
about his own life?
wonderful rapport and friendship.

The success of the show is not just
about the celebs interaction with one
another (and with the tipple within easy reach). Graham Norton is
brilliant and witty and asks questions
and makes statements no one else
would dare to and hes perfectly
willing to make a fool of himself.
The effect of all that horsing around
is that (almost) everyone relaxes and
joins in in the spirit of the show.
Even Madonna. But that was a long
time in the making. When his previous
chat show, So Graham Norton,
started in 1998, he made a list of all
the guests he wanted. Top of that list
was Madonna, he says. Every other
name on the list landed up on his
couch, but it was 14 years before his
most fondly held wish came true.
It wasnt through lack of trying.
In his memoir, The Life and Loves
of a He Devil, he recounts how he
placed an extortionate bid on a tiny
Herb Ritts pic of Madonnas eyes,
which had previously hung in her LA
mansion. I decided that if I bought
it, word would get back and shed
feel honour-bound to come and chat.
Graham describes the process:
A little drunk [this seems to be a
recurring theme] and encouraged
by my friends, I started to bid.
Unbeknownst to me, the other main
bidder was one of the richest men in
Britain. We soon left hundreds of
hat he does
remember is
her reaction
to fans whod
flown from
Italy with
their lovingly crafted Madonna
dolls in various outfits shed worn.
She peered at the dolls like someone whose cat has just delivered a
half-eaten mouse at their feet and
then proceeded to point out the
mistakes in the various outfits.
Even I felt a bit sorry for the boys

and when I saw them after the show,
I tried to apologise for Madonnas
reaction, but there was no need. They
were delighted. The queen of their
world had reacted just as they knew
and hoped she would. We were dealing with a diva.
Has Graham become mates with
Madonna since? No friendship
developed. She remained the icy
star, me the awe-struck fanboy, our
worlds never to collide.
e might describe
himself as a
fanboy, but Graham
also attracts a lot
of fandom. Take the
audience applause
when he walks in if anything, its
more enthusiastic than for any of his
esteemed guests.
Its obvious that he enjoys the
show. I love television, he told
Miranda Hart in a Telegraph interview. It was more than entertainment for me when I was growing up
in southern Ireland, it was my window on the world. If I had to choose
Id say I probably prefer watching it,
but at the same time, I adore my job.
This year, when I first returned from
holiday and sat in the studio looking
out at my audience of 600, I did get
a little misty-eyed. I felt like Id
come home. I was also quite drunk.
Quite drunk? You said it, Graham.
His high-energy persona does beg
the question of the degree of lubrication involved, especially since theres
always a glass of wine at hand. On
one occasion he had F1 driver Lewis
Hamilton spray champagne into his
mouth. What was he thinking? In his
memoir, Graham is at pains to explain that he only ever has one glass
of wine (which often remains barely
touched) on the show, although all
bets are off afterwards. Booze plays
a big role in his life. In his memoir,
it gets an entire chapter. He writes
candidly: I may abuse it, but my
relationship with booze is still based

on enjoyment rather than fear. It goes
back to the pre-show glass of wine
I know exactly why Im drinking
it and while I may end up flailing
around a dance floor like a member
of the living dead, I like to think that
I am in control of the bigger picture.
And then he adds, Of course, I may
be wrong. He has a comedians
timing and an actors confidence
(both of which he has been), but
what is he like off-camera? More
low-key, he told Miranda, otherwise my friends would be forced
to stab me with a fork. But at the
same time, he says, he doesnt have
an act: Dolly Parton told me that
if you want to be in this business
for a long time, dont put on an act
because it is simply too much work.
And of course, Dolly was right!
raham is very
close to his mum
and sister; his
ex-boyfriend Trevor
Patterson told the
Daily Mail he talks
to them all the time. Trevor says after
two years, he couldnt do it any
longer, as Grahams first love is his
two dogs in some ways he put
them before me. Trevor also couldnt
keep up with Grahams boozing.
He could drink up to four bottles of
wine in an evening. I cant do it and
struggled to cope without a good
nights sleep. Graham maintained a
dignified silence on Trevors tabloid
tell-all, but writes that he feels content
being solo. Im not pretending being
alone makes me ecstatically happy,
but Im not sad, and that already
seems like quite a lot in life.
PHOTOGRAPHS: GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/MIKE MARSLAND
pounds behind us and were shooting

through the thousands. Happily, the
other man was a bit more sober than
I was and bowed out.
When Cher heard what hed paid,
she said, Are you out of your
f*#king mind? You could have got
her actual eyes for that! (It was
10 000, since you ask.)
And it didnt have the desired
effect. Only at the time of her directorial debut, W.E., did Graham begin
to believe that Madonna-on-theshow might actually come to pass.
Towards the end of the summer in
2011 we began to get whispers that
perhaps she was finally ready to
perch her perfectly toned buttocks on
the edge of our red couch, Graham
writes. The conditions began. It had
to be special. Yes. She wants to tape
it in the afternoon. Yes. She wants
approval over the music. Yes. I wonder
how far we would have gone?
What demand could have provoked
a no? I couldnt think of one.
The production team werent as
keen as Graham was, but they knew
how special this would be for me,
he says. While my whole life is my
dream come true, it was still a wildly
exciting moment for me and, in my
head at least, for the show as well.
It was the royal seal of approval.
So how did it go? After the moment of introduction, it all went by
in a blur, he says. I remember being
nervous and then both of us relaxing.
We got the measure of each other.
Im not pretending
being alone makes
me ecstatically
happy, but Im
not sad, and that
already seems like
quite a lot in life.
a taste of
TALLINN
Tallinn, the capital

of Estonia, is
utterly enchanting
and as yet, largely
undiscovered. Get
there while thats
still the case!
part from
catering to
Finns on day
trips looking
for a cheap
alternative to
Helsinki (no
longer the case)
and a brief boom in the nineties,
Tallinn specifically the Old Town
is the very antithesis of a bustling
city. And thats the way we like it.
The ancient, uneven cobbled
streets give Tallinn a unique atmosphere, and the fact that its ever so
slightly shabby in parts just makes it
more authentic and adds to its charm.
The older part of Tallinn is where
youll want to be: one of the
best-preserved medieval cities

in Northern Europe, its centre is
around the stronghold of Toompea
(Dome Hill) with its slender, tapering
spires. In the 10th11th century,
a marketplace established at the foot
of Toompea quickly developed into
an irregular network of streets and
an urban settlement of artisans and
tradesmen. Almost unchanged to this
day, the area has quirky street names
travel
BY ILSE ZIETSMAN
MAIN PIC: MAGICAL

TURRETS AND CHURCH
SPIRES ADD TO THE
FAIRYTALE CHARM OF
THE ANCIENT CITY.
RIGHT: ENJOYING
ELK SOUP SERVED
MEDIEVAL-STYLE AT
TRISTAN JA ISOLDE.
CREDIT BOX
like Lhike Jalg (Short Leg) and

Pikk Jalg (Long Leg) that date from
those times. One of the cannon
towers 20 of the original 46 have
remained intact is called Paks
Margareeta (Fat Margaret), and
a watchtower goes by the name of
Kiek in de Kk, as it allowed the
guards to see into the kitchens of the
surrounding houses. Old Tallinn is
still as quirky and original as these
old names a real fairytale realm

of shadows, winding streets, pretty
alleyways (Katariina Kik,
or St Catherines Passage, is the
prettiest in all Tallinn) and churches
both ornate and simple. My favourite
of these is the Church of St Nicholas,
with its secret exits to the city walls
I wondered who needed to escape,
and why.
There are some wonderful places
to stay within or at least within
walking distance of the Old Town:
for an exclusive boutique hotel
experience you cant go wrong with
the Schlssle hotel (www.schlosslehotels.com). Its in the heart of the
Old Town, and since Prince Charles,
George Soros and Sting have all slept
here, youll be in good company. The
hotel has massive wooden beams,
vaulted ceilings, an arched medieval
cellar and a restaurant where
white-gloved waiters attend to your
every need. St Petersbourg Hotel
(www.hotelstpetersbourg.com) also
belongs to the Schlssle group and is
carefully restored in the style of the
Russian merchant who first owned
the building. Taanilinna Hotel (www.
tallinnhotels.ee) is less ornate, but
has exceptionally friendly staff who
are keen to interact with their guests.
Once youve settled in, its time to
explore and, of course, to eat, drink
and shop! Known for its ceramics,

this lovely old part of town still
offers good shopping: Draakoni Art
Gallery, a small contemporary art
gallery in a beautiful old building, is
well worth a visit, and just off Viru,
the central pedestrian thoroughfare,
youll love the window display
at Piret Kndler Ceramics (www.
piretkandler.com). Think whimsical
teapots and mugs that could have
been used by The Mad Hatter in Alice
in Wonderland. Then have a look at
Helina Tilk (www.helinatilk.com).
Helina makes functional ceramic
kitchenware depicting the distinctive

architecture of Old Tallinn. Other
designs include naively drawn flowers as well as cartoon animals for the
little ones. Sepa ri (www.ross.ee)
offers a wide range of forged metal
objets from Estonian blacksmiths,
as well as flavoured teas from around
the globe and a display of Carrol
Boyes pewterware!
When youve exhausted yourself
walking the streets, youll need a
good restaurant to top up your flagging energy reserves and youre
in luck: candlelit Olde Hansa (www.
oldehansa.ee), once the home of a

rich merchant, has no electricity at
all (a bit of a home away form home
for us South Africans!). Game sausages are made from bear, wild boar,
elk, figs and almonds; sauerkraut is
served as a side-dish. The honey or
cinnamon beer is delicious. Equally
impressive is Troika (www.troika.
ee), an authentic Russian restaurant
where a life-size bear beckons you
down the stairs subtly lit by samovars
transformed into lights. The menu
ranges from kaaviar to stroganoff
of bear meat available upon
successful hunt.
A highlight for any foodie is
Balthasar Garlic Restaurant (www.
balthasar.ee). Housed in a medieval
building with a view over the Town
Hall Square, its next door to an
apothecary that dates back to 1422
(1422! The antiquity of this city
often takes your breath away). Their
garlic vodka is positively lethal and
the mezze platter set the garlicky
tone for the rest of the meal, with
main courses ranging from salmon
to duck to lamb. They even offered
garlic-infused crme brule on their
seasonal menu: not for me, but
theres no accounting for taste
The elegant tapestried rooms of The
Stenhus Restaurant (www.stenhus.
ee) offer the best haute cuisine available in Tallinn, including Thick Pea
Soup with Smoked Pork, Old Witchs
Casserole, Blood Sausages and Pork
or Lamb Ribs think France meets
Estonia in a cosy yet elegant setting.
Exactly 75 steps from the Town
Hall youll find Kuldse Notsu Krts
(www.notsu.ee), with its tongue-incheek flower boxes in the shape of
elongated pigs (the name means The
Golden Piglet) and superb Estonian
cuisine. Herring is served with sour
cream and boiled potatoes, or with
strawberries, onions and cream (yes,
really and its delicious); other
PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCK, SUPPLIED
OPPOSITE PAGE: WALKING AROUND THE OLD

TOWN IS MAGICAL. ABOVE: YOU GET THE BEST
VIEW OF THE OLD TOWN FROM KIEK IN DE KK.
RIGHT: TALLINN OFFERS A PHOTO OP AROUND
EVERY CORNER. BELOW RIGHT: AN ELONGATED
BOOT INDICATES THE BEST PLACE TO ENJOY
MULLED WINE AND DO SOME PEOPLE-WATCHING.
appetizers include crispy pig ears

or a Mermaids Fish Platter for Two.
Not very far away then again,
nothing is far away in Tallinn is
Le Bonaparte (www.bonaparte.ee),
with austere yet impressive interleading dining rooms. The subdued dcor
in fairly minimalist grey and muted
blues evokes images of a stormy day
at sea. Restoran Gloria (www.gloria.
ee) was voted one of the top 100
restaurants in the world by
Conde Nast Traveler in 2002.
Gloria Veinikelder is its more laidback sister, and both are located on
the fringes of Old Tallinn, just inside
the ancient city walls.
After all that eating you might be
in need of a drink. In the bottom lefthand corner of the Town Hall a sign
proclaiming Pdra Supp Uhke Maitsega (Proud to be an Elk-flavoured
Soup) leads you to the entrance of
Tristan ja Isolde. In this tiny, dungeon-like tavern they serve elk soup
and traditional pies as well as pepper
schnapps in typical medieval style,
and they pride themselves on their
cheeky service. Theres no charge for
the salty pickled gherkins, provided
you spear them from a giant vat
potent Irish coffees and ptisseries

franaises more than live up to the
hype. And worth remembering
if everything else is closing down
because its really getting late, you
can rely on the friendly staff of
Munga Kelder (www.mungakelder.
ee) to serve you your last drink. This
'monks cellar' is the perfect place
to wind down your evening with a
glass of Vana Tallinn, the traditional
Estonian liqueur.
DONT LEAVE
TALLINN
WITHOUT
yourself. A trident fork stands at the
ready. Maiasmokk (www.kalev.eu/
en/maiasmokk-cafe/cafe), which
translates as Sweet Tooth, is the
oldest operational caf in all of
Estonia. The interior has remained
unchanged for nearly a century. Back
in 2000, people mainly through
force of habit still queued for their
coffee whether required to or not;
these days this old-fashioned caf
still serves the same marzipan and
wonderful cakes it has been offering
since 1864.
Walking into Caf Josephine
(www.pierre.ee/est/cafe-josephine/)
feels like stepping into a boudoir
its all about indulgence, and their
imbibing glug, the Estonian

version of mulled wine. Each establishment uses its own (secret) recipe
that invariably includes some of the
local Vana Tallinn herbal liqueur as
well as cinnamon, almonds, cardamom and ginger. A wedge of orange
or lemon is optional.
climbing to the top of Kiek in de
Kk to look out over Tallinn.
spending an afternoon
people-watching at one of the many
cafs on Raekoja plats.
visiting Alexander Nevsky
Cathedral to have a look at its
very ornate icons; time it so you
can attend a short prayer service
a very moving experience.
4. Prepare
WRITE
your
WILL
Where theres a will,

theres a way for you to
tell those you love how
you wish your possessions to be distributed.
But its about so much
more than that.
our
expert
Rumana
Mahomed
Fiduciary
Specialist at
Accensis Inc.
and attorney
and member
of the Fiduciary Institute of
South Africa (FISA) answers
our questions.
money matters
COMPILED BY ANNA RICH
Im not old enough to

have a will, am I?
When I was at law school, our lecturer

said, As soon as you are 16, you
must have a will. We didnt believe
it, so we checked and, sure enough,
the Wills Act says a will can be drafted
by anyone who is 16 years and older.
Stats show that women in particular
often neglect to write up a will.
But what if I dont really

have anything of value?
Even if you dont own assets of

value, you may have things that are
of sentimental value to those you
leave behind. Your favourite jacket or
piece of jewellery can easily become
an issue of dispute. You can avoid
petty disputes by including these
little things in your will: I bequeath
this to so-and-so. Theres always
chaos when someone dies; a will
helps reduce this chaos.
A will is a working document that
you should constantly update through
your life, as your assets increase and
decrease and as your circumstances
change. The birth of a child,
a marriage, a divorce or death can
influence how your estate evolves.
So a will just says who

inherits what?
It does deal primarily with the

distribution of material possessions,
but its about more than that. It can
effectively deal with the guardianship
of your children. On the death of
second-dying natural guardians, it
can make provision for who takes
over the guardianship, and how your
children ought to be maintained. This
avoids squabbles among family
members. When guardianship is
dealt with in a will, the Master of the
High Court (who serves as the upper
guardian of all minors, among other
things) automatically validates that
appointment. On the other hand, if

the guardian is not nominated, those
taking care of the children have to
approach the High Court to be
appointed as guardians, which is an
expensive legal process.
Nominating guardians saves time
because the appointment is effected
at the time the estate is being wound
up. And when the children who are
still dealing with the anguish of
having lost both their parents know
who they are staying with, they feel
more secure. I advise my clients to
communicate with those theyd like
to nominate as guardians. The last
thing you want is for someone to be
shocked at the news that they have to
take care of the children when they
may not be in a position to do so.
However, the nominated guardian
may renounce that nomination.
The will can nominate a family
member, a friend, the bank, an
attorney or an accountant as an
executor whoever you wish. The
role of the executor is to make sure
your assets are identified and brought
within their control, liabilities are
settled and that the residue is
distributed to your beneficiaries. So
the executor has the responsibility
and duty to carry out the wishes of
the deceased.
If the executor mismanages estate
funds or assets they can be found
personally liable. Unless you
specifically exempt the executor in
your will, they have to lodge a Bond
of Security (for the protection of
your beneficiaries) with the Master.
So where an executor is found liable,
the Master has access to the executors security to claim what was
fraudulently or negligently used.
Professionals usually have access to
insurances that lodge the security on
their behalf; for a family member or
friend, this can be difficult to meet.
How do I make sure my

will is legal?
The Wills Act stipulates the

formalities that a will has to comply
with. Basically, the will has to be:
a written document
signed in the presence of two
competent witnesses (older than
14 who are capable of giving
evidence in court)
signed by the testator on every
page.
The witnesses may not be beneficiaries to the estate.
In South Africa, great importance
is placed on freedom of testation,
which means that a testators wishes
must be carried out as far as legally
possible and that a testator has
unfettered freedom to dispose of his/
her assets and may impose conditions. A simple will is drafted as
follows:
The person is identified and

any previous wills signed are
cancelled the Master gives
effect to the most recently signed
and dated will, so for expediency,
cancel any previous wills.
Nominate an executor.
If you need to create a trust,
you can do that as well.
Nominate guardians and
make sure beneficiaries
benefit exclusively whatever
they inherit is for them alone.
Remember, if theyre married in
community of property, 50% of their
estate belongs to their spouse
as it is a joint estate.
2
3
Could I just buy or

download a template? Or
do I need a professional?
Use a professional they know the
requirements of the Act and will
ensure that you comply with them.
What sort of professional

is best? Could I do this
through my bank?
You should see a professional such
as an attorney or fiduciary specialist
to prepare your will. It is preferable
to consult with a professional
who is affiliated to the Fiduciary
Institute of South Africa (FISA).
Build a relationship with a professional who understands your
circumstances and who approaches
the process and your loved ones with
empathy and a good understanding
of your ambitions.
LOOKING
FOR A
TEMPLATE?
On the Netto Invest
site (www.financialplanningsouthafrica.com),
click on the tab free
resources to download
their template. But they
give the same advice
as Rumana: rather
engage a professional
than write your own
DIY will.
Where do I keep the will?

Does it cost anything?
You can keep it. (Just make sure

youve told someone where to find
it!). Most professionals keep clients
wills at no additional cost.
The expense varies. Some
institutions may offer to prepare
your will for free but may charge
an annual fee for storage or insist
on being nominated as the executor
to secure the administration of
your estate. Other professionals
charge a fee but allow you to
nominate an executor of your choice.
In the case of the latter one can pay
anything between R350 to R5000,
depending on the complexity of
the will.
What if I dont know my

financial position?
The fiduciary specialist is able, with

your permission, to do the necessary
checks. This person would then
determine the exact value of your
estate, fast-forward to your date of
death and calculate your estate costs
and whether there will be anything
substantial left for your loved ones

after taking liabilities and other costs
at death into account.
THREE CRITICAL EXPENSES
WE HAVE TO MAKE PROVISION FOR:
Estate duty 20% of everything
over R3,5 million.
Capital gains tax calculated on
the sale or transfer of shares and
properties.
Executor fee calculated at 3,5%
on the gross value of the estate.
Is debt inherited?
If there are insufficient funds to

cover the liabilities and additional
costs, the executor has to either
sell assets to defray the costs or
request that the beneficiaries make
a contribution towards the costs to
save the assets.
If the liabilities far exceed
the assets, the estate has to be
declared insolvent. You dont inherit
debt, but the estate is declared
insolvent and all the creditors have to
be appeased in accordance with the
Insolvency Act.
What happens if I dont

have a will?
If you die without a will, you die

intestate. Many people are under
the impression that if they die
without a will their assets will be
forfeited to the State. However, that
is not the situation. The Intestate
Succession Act determines who
your beneficiaries are, in a particular
order of preference. But it doesnt
protect beneficiaries married in
community of property, deal with
guardianship of your children,
nominate your executors, or
prevent the funds from going into
the guardians fund. It unnecessarily
delays the process of winding up
your estate.
PHOTOGRAPH: GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES
Very often, when a lay person drafts

a will, they assume theyve tied up
all their affairs, but then a formality
is absent, which inadvertently
renders the entire will invalid. A
professional also ensures that it is
written in simple language, concisely
and logically, without confusing or
contradictory clauses.
A will is an estate planning tool.
If you lead a complex life or if the
value of your estate falls beyond the
estate duty threshold, it is always
best to consult a professional. Estate
duty is payable to SARS at a rate of
20% levied on the amount of the
estate exceeding R3,5m in value. If
your estate is worth R4 million, the
estate duty is calculated at 20% of
R500 000. In the current economic
environment you can easily reach
this threshold just by owning a
vehicle, a property and a life policy.
A professional guides you on how
to legitimately reduce potential estate
duty cost implications by the
implementation of estate duty tools
such as a will or a trust. As a result
every wills consultation results in
a mini estate planning discussion.
The advice youre getting in that
consultation is extremely valuable.
Templates dont take into account
your personal circumstances.
health
BY ANNA RICH
Healthy
living
Your fast track

to wellness
good
to
know! Are your fibroids
causing trouble?
Fibroids are common, benign growths in the

uterus that start from a single muscle cell in
the uterine wall, explains Dr Andrew Lawson.
As they grow, they can affect the lining of the
womb, in which case they cause heavy periods,
anaemia and debilitation. Also, they sometimes press on adjacent organs: on the bladder,
frequent urination results; on the colon,
constipation. They can also cause a bloating
sensation, and, if they press on the spinal
nerves, sciatica, which can be very painful.
THE GOOD NEWS? Fibroid embolisation
is a minimally invasive, non-surgical treatment. It replaces the traditional treatment,
which is a hysterectomy, in many cases.
Find practitioners on www.fibroidcare.co.za
and watch the video for more info.
10
COKES
a day!
Thats what George Prior did,

to raise awareness about how
much sugar were drinking
every day, and to see the
negative effects. Before you
say, who drinks 10 a day?
add up the other sugary
drinks, he says. Fruit juice,
sweetened coffee or tea,
healthy iced teas, energy
drinks, smoothies
THE RESULTS SPEAK

FOR THEMSELVES:
DAY 1 WEIGHT: 76,2KG
BODY FAT: 9,4%

BLOOD PRESSURE: 129/77
DAY 30 WEIGHT: 86,63KG
BODY FAT: 15,3%
BLOOD PRESSURE 143/96
For more info, go to
www.10cokesaday.com
MAKE EYE
CONTACT
Chatting to someone wearing

sunglasses is disconcerting. Because
you cant see their eyes, it feels as
if youre missing some sort of
connection. With specs wearers,
its almost as bad, as there are often
reflections on the lenses. And for the
person wearing the specs, reflections
interfere with their clarity of vision. If
you wear specs, ask your optometrist
to apply a Zeiss DuraVision antireflective coating. It allows more
light in, improving vision and reducing
reflections. But it gets even better: the
coating is anti-static and repels dust,
so your specs are easy to clean, and
it also protects the lens itself from
wear and tear.
givea
way!
Two readers could receive an eye test, Zeiss lenses

and an anti-reflective coating at any Zeiss-accredited
optometrist nationwide worth from R3 000 each,
depending on your requirements.
HOW TO ENTER: SMS the keyword ZEISS, along with your full name,
physical or postal address and email address to 33136. SMSes cost R1,50.
Free SMSes dont apply. Or visit dailyfix.co.za to enter online.
CLOSING DATE: 30 April 2015. For rules of the giveaway, see page 145.
Who needs a
DIETICIAN?
We asked Lila Bruk & Kezia
Kent, registered dieticians
at Lila Bruk & Associates,
what they offer.
What can a dietician do for

clients that following a healthy
diet wont?
PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE, THINKSTOCK, SUPPLIED
LILA: It can be extremely confusing to

wade through the minefield of information
that surrounds eating healthily. Dieticians
are the recognised authorities in all
nutrition-related matters, so they are in
the best position to be able to translate
scientific evidence into easy-to-understand, practical guidelines. Also, regular
follow-ups with a dietician provide
support, monitoring, advice and assistance to ensure that the client reaches
their goals. One of the most important
advantages of seeing a dietician is that
they will tailor-make the eating plan
according to the individuals needs so that
the plan fits their lifestyle.
How long do you study to

be a dietician?
KEZIA: You do a Bachelor of Science

degree in Dietetics, or a Bachelor of
Science Medical Honours degree in
Nutrition and Dietetics (depending on
the university). This degree is a four- or
five-year (including undergraduate and
honours degrees), full-time programme,
divided into different aspects of food
science, human nutrition, community
nutrition and medical nutritional therapy.
KEZIA KENT
exercise and lifestyle changes, they should

see positive results. We also take a holistic
approach to weight loss by assisting
clients with recognising barriers to their
weight loss (e.g. a very busy social life,
or frequent travelling) and developing
coping strategies.
What proportion of clients

sustain their weight loss?
LILA: Assuming that the individual puts

lasting sustainable changes in place, they
should find that they dont regain their
weight. However, we recommend that
our clients come in monthly once theyre
at their goal weight in order to keep
their weight in check and to address any
concerns or issues that may have arisen.
What dietary approach, in your

experience, works best for
sustained weight loss?
KEZIA: The best approach is one that can

be sustained in the long run, that fits into
your lifestyle and that allows you flexibility
to make the right choices no matter where
you are. We also take the individuals
specific circumstances into account.
LILA: We have an extremely high success

rate. Assuming our clients stick to their
eating plans and make the necessary
KEZIA: Most clients come weekly or

fortnightly. This gives them an opportunity
What proportion of your clients

lose weight when they follow
your recommendations?
How often do you recommend

that your clients see you if youre
managing weight loss or looking at
improving metabolic factors?
LILA BRUK
to address concerns, issues and obstacles

that they may have experienced, as well
as for us to give them extra information,
guidance, tips and motivation.
What role do weigh-ins play?
Are clients eating plans tailored

to their preferences?
Can you be a dietician and NOT

subscribe to the food pyramid?
LILA: They help the client to stay on

track. Knowing that you are going to be
weighed keeps you accountable for the
food choices that you make, but also gives
us an opportunity to give further support,
guidance and motivation.
LILA: Yes, we always try to ensure that

we have taken into account the clients
needs based on cultural, religious and
taste preferences; health conditions;
activity levels; lifestyle and time
constraints.
KEZIA: I think a better question would

be whether you can be a dietician and
subscribe to the food pyramid at all, as
the food pyramid is an outdated tool that
was developed in the 1970s. Times have
changed since then, as have dieticians
recommendations. Dieticians must
stay up to date with new research and
only subscribe to and recommend the
most current evidence-based nutrition
information.
health
COMPILED BY ANNA RICH
my
achybreaky
BACK
Back pain but lower back pain in

particular is the most common reason
that people see a doctor, says the World
Health Organisation. Theres no escape;
it interferes with quality of life (and work
performance). And the tricky thing is
that its seldom due to something
specific, so its difficult to treat.
There is some good news, though!
IT
can happen while

playing tennis or
riding a horse,
when youre pregnant or just lifting
shopping out of the
boot. The triggers for back pain are
wide-ranging. Bending awkwardly,
overuse of muscles, injury, pregnancy,
lifting, carrying, pushing and pulling
heavy objects are all fairly obvious
causes. Some less obvious risk
our expert
Cecily Smith
physiotherapist
For a solution thats far cheaper

than physiotherapy, Cecily has
developed interactive software
for an annual
subscription fee
that prompts
you to maintain
optimum posture.
For more info,
go to www.
csbodyhealth.
co.za/Bodyhealth-SoftwareIndividual/
factors are smoking, long-term use of

corticosteroids, and stress. Smoking?
It causes inflammation of the blood
vessels, further compromising an
already poor supply of blood to the
spine (#anotherreasontoquit). Corticosteroids, which reduce inflammation, for example in asthma, do over
time increase the risk of osteoporosis, diabetes and high blood pressure;
weaker bones are less stable and can
cause back pain. But the potentially
life-threatening risk of asthma is
more pressing. And stress is a pervasive problem that isnt easily routed.
More often than not, though, there
isnt any obvious reason for back
pain. It could be caused by doing
nothing much at all slouching on
the couch, driving for hours without
taking a break. It could creep up on
you slowly, or its onset could be sudden one day, you wake up in agony.
ost of us will
experience some
form of back
pain, from neck
pain like acute
torticollis or
whiplash, to slipped discs, sciatica
and lower back pain (most commonly), at some point in our lives all as
painful as they sound. Back pain is
so common that the image of someone clutching their lower back is universally understood to convey the
idea of pain, and when you call
someone a pain in the neck, its
clear just how irritating they are.
The problem with treating back
pain is that its difficult to narrow
down exactly what has caused it
your spine is an intricate system of
bone, joints, cartilage, tendons, muscles, nerves and blood vessels. And if
you cant find the cause, you wont
know how to take away the effect.
Theres a lot to look at when someone walks into your practice, says
physiotherapist Cecily Smith. Is it
mechanical, chemical (inflammation)
or a combination? Is there anything
structurally dangerous that might impinge on the spinal cord? For example,
in uncontrolled TB, when ones not
on medication, the TB can spread to
the spine, softening the bones, which

usage to 12 days. And corsets, bed
collapse and cause paraplegia. Is
rest, and braces all pretty standard
there arthritis and degeneration of the
previously are thought to be unjoints or discs? Is there a prolapsed
helpful, as they prevent your muscles
disc putting pressure on the nervous
from giving the necessary structural
system? Must part of it be removed
support, the same report says. As
to keep the nerve alive? Or is it not
for corticosteroids, dont bother
that badly damaged, and may be mana placebo was shown to have the
aged conservatively? Is it part heredisame effect: temporary relief only.
tary, like ankylosing spondylitis?
It usually takes tissue about three
But these scary scenarios arent
months to heal, so beyond 12 weeks,
the norm. Its far more likely that the
your pain is termed chronic. And
pain is down to someits more difficult to
thing obscure and
treat than acute pain.
Learn how to
nebulous, as the
In desperation, some
WHO puts it. They
practitioners suggest
lift correctly,
say the probability
surgery. But, says the
how to sit at
that a case of back
almost always
your desk, how WHO,
pain has a specific
it is unjustifiable and
to sit in the car. usually fails to procause is only 0,2%.
Exercise is
The experts catevide permanent
important.
gorise back pain as
relief. Interestingly,
acute or chronic.
the report suggests
But movement
If its acute, heres the patterns are
psychological factors
good news, sort of.
more important. play a role and this
It lasts no more than
is especially marked
12 weeks; it is
in those who experiself-limiting which means it tends
ence chronic back pain: Dissatisfacto go away on its own, regardless of
tion with a work situation, a supervithe treatment you follow (or dont).
sor, a dead-end job and boredom all
So whether you see an osteopath for
contribute greatly to the onset and
manipulation, go to the physio, have
persistence of back pain. This seems
a chiropractor adjust your spine, have
to be a bigger factor than previously
acupuncture, spa therapy or heat
held beliefs about the causes of pain,
treatments, do yoga, turn to herbals
like weight, lumbar lordosis, height,
or do nothing it wont make any
BMI even different leg lengths.
difference? Not as far as they can
And as for disc herniation and spinal
tell, says the WHO. But some swear
canal narrowing, which happens to
by their osteopath/chiropractor/masmost of us as we age: not responsible
sage therapist/acupuncturist/physio.
for the pain. Its only rarely that surThe WHO thinks it may be more
gery alleviates pain in these cases.
about the laying on of hands than
Of course youd aim for a cure,
any intrinsic feature of these
but it may be difficult to achieve.
approaches. But if you feel it works
Ability to live with the pain getting
for you, why not?
on with your life with minimal
Paracetamol and non-steroidal
restrictions imposed by the pain
anti-inflammatory drugs make pain
may be a more realistic goal, says
tolerable, but as the WHO points out,
the WHO.
self-medication directions restrict
People think theres a quick fix
Keeping the curve
The S-curve refers to the side view

of a normal spine the neck or cervical area curves forwards, the thoracic
spine curves backwards, and the lumbar spine, forwards. That S-curve
acts as a shock absorber, says Cecily.
It also reduces the loading on the
spine because it throws the centre of
gravity between your feet, spreading
your body weight. When you sit, or
slouch, you reverse the curve, greatly
increasing the loading on the spine.
That increases the rate of wear and
tear on your spine, which is why
those are high risk postures. She
adds that bending, lifting and sitting
put more pressure on the spine than
walking and standing. Even if youre
sitting upright, theres less of a curve
than when you stand sitting rotates
the pelvis backwards so the curve

starts to flatten, increasing the pressure on the spine. Cecily points out
that in addition to downward pressure; theres also shearing pressure,
forwards and backwards its
three-dimensional. The forces acting
through the spine are extensive.
Correct posture reduces shearing and
the longitudinal pressure.
Good posture
(the best strategy for back

pain prevention)
If you dont keep your body well
aligned, flexible and strong, certain
parts of your body take strain, explains Cecily. If your posture is poor
a mechanical problem certain
muscles go into spasm, others relax.
Over time this causes wear and tear,
which causes chemical reactions.
Arthritis due to wear and tear is an
inflammatory reaction, which is
chemical. A very common cause of
mechanical problems of the lower
back is stiffness of the hamstring or
hips, says Cecily. Then the back
takes more strain. Stiffness also
means you cant get into certain

positions so you put yourself into
weaker postures. As an example,
if you try to carry something with
a straight arm, it is much heavier
than if you bent your elbow to 90
degrees. Thats leverage the law
of levers applies to every part of your
body. If you are in positions that use
long or excessively shortened levers,
they are weaker, and fatigue and get
injured more quickly. They should
be in their mid position where they
are strongest.
Cecily applies this principle to
the core muscles: When you slouch
or overarch, your core muscles are
in their lengthened or very shortened
position so they are at their weakest
and cant contract easily. Instead,
you need to find your neutral spine,
midway between fully bent and fully
arched.
If your posture is poor, says
Cecily, you are teaching certain
muscles to over-contract all the time,
and then you get fatigue, spasms,
and trigger points, and that can
refer pain.
Sitting at your desk all day?

IS YOUR CHAIR AT THE
CORRECT HEIGHT?
Move it up or down until your
arms rest on your desk. Youre
looking for an L-shape in the arms:
elbows at your side, forearms at
a right angle to the upper arms.
You shouldnt have to stretch
your arms to reach the keyboard.
The same goes for the mouse:
have it within easy reach. Also, try
to keep the wrists as straight as
possible. And if the armrests on
your chair get in the way, or dont
fit under your desk, remove them.
No hunched shoulders either!
Your hips should be only slightly
higher than your knees, with thighs
If your seated posture is

incorrect, it can contribute to
back pain. Go through this
checklist to avoid problems.
parallel to the floor. Your feet
should be flat on the floor. If they
dont reach, use a footrest. Having
your feet in the correct position
helps prevent you sliding down in
your chair, into poor posture.
IS YOUR BACK
PROPERLY SUPPORTED?
To maintain the curve in your
lumbar spine (lower back) while
sitting for long periods, your back
needs help. If it isnt properly
supported, your back muscles
PHOTOGRAPHS: GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES, CHELSEA MACLACHLAN

ILLUSTRATIONS: LOUWRA MARAIS. TEXT: WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION. NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE CHOICES.
and that theres one fix for all, but

there isnt, says Cecily. You need to
understand how the body works.
Learn how to lift correctly, how to sit
at your desk, how to sit in the car.
Exercise is important. But movement
patterns are more important.
exercises that
help your back
1. Plank
Place arms shoulder-width apart,
and feet (with toes curled under) in line
with the hips. Lift body into plank
position head, back and butt in line.
Dont round the back or allow it to
collapse. Hold for 1015 seconds.
Repeat five times.
2. Wall
squats
Dont go
lower than
90 degrees
to avoid
straining
your knees.
Hold for
20 seconds.
Repeat
five times.
have to work a lot harder. Angle the

backrest to 8 degrees for better
comfort and reduced spinal loading.
Keep the S-curve by using your backrest. Sit right back in the seat.
IS THE TOP OF YOUR PAGE

AT EYE LEVEL?
Your screen should be about an arms
length away and your eye line should
be at the top third of the screen.
Adjust the monitor so that you arent
looking down (or up) and taking your
neck out of its natural curve, which
causes strain. This is such a common
symptom of sitting at computers or
poring over hand-held devices that its
been dubbed tech-neck. If you use
a laptop, you probably need a stand.
Or rest it or the monitor on a sturdy
box or a pile of magazines. For loose
papers on your desk, buy a document
holder to stop you bending your neck.
3 Lunge
4 Hamstring stretch
Take a step forward, keeping the

heel of the rear foot flat on the floor.
Lean forwards slightly, without
leaning on your knee. If youre
uncomfortable, take a smaller step.
Hold for 25 seconds. Repeat three
times on each side.
Put your right heel on your chair (at

the lowest setting), on your footrest,
on a stair or any other raised surface.
If you need to (especially if your chair
is on wheels), hold onto a stable
surface to keep steady. Pull your
toes towards you, with your knee
straight. Push your heel to the
ground. Hold the stretch (which you
should feel behind your leg) for 3
seconds. Switch to the other leg.
Repeat twice on each side.
YOU NEED TO
EXERCISE AT THE
OFFICE!
1 GET UP AND WALK AROUND!
Set a pop-up screen alert or, if you have
a step monitor, set it to buzz every half
hour or so to remind you to move.
Or use Cecilys software which does
this and gives you exercises to do.
2 SIT TALL IN YOUR CHAIR
Grow tall from the back of your head
to the ceiling. Breathe in slowly,
thinking happy thoughts. Breathe out
slowly, imagining dark thoughts
leaving your body. Repeat three times.
3 DO THE TWIST
Sit up straight. Turn to one side.
Breathe in and out slowly. Turn to
the other side. Do twice on each side.
4 SIDE BEND
Sit up straight. Hold your elbows, and
pull your arms towards the back of your
head. Lean slowly to your left, then
to the right. Do three on each side.
More tips on avoiding

daily wear and tear
Lifting heavy objects (including
babies and toddlers) incorrectly is
a common, avoidable cause of back
injury. Take your cue from weight
lifters: bend your knees and hips (not
your back), spread your legs, and
keep the weight close to your body.
Dont bend and twist at once.
If you can, carry heavy loads in
a rucksack rather than in a shoulder
bag. Or get a wheelie shopping
cart if you walk from the shop laden
with bags; theyre not just for little
old ladies.
When youre driving, adjust your seat
so that you can reach the pedals with
your knees bent.
What makes you

feel strong?
Lira: Being able to decide what is best

for me and my career, and then pursue
that. I have a lot of love and support
from my husband and business partner,
my friends and family and most
importantly, my incredible fans!
What does being a South

African woman in 2015
mean to you?
Jo-Ann Strauss: It means living in

a country filled with opportunity and
contradictions and being able to do my
best to make sure I leave my Mzansi in
a better state than I found it in.
Lira
wears ...
THE ANDONI
DRESS (R999)
BY MANTSHO
STUD EARRINGS (R175) AND RING (R350) LOVISA;

HEELS (R1990) EUROPA ART
Jo-Ann
wears ...
THE TRENCH
DRESS (R795)
BY LEIGH
SCHUBERT
EARRINGS (R350) LOVISA;
HEELS (R499) ZOOM
fashion
CONNECT
SUPPORT
CELEBRATE!
FASHION EDITOR
CARA-LEE RUDITZKY
PHOTOGRAPHER
ANL VAN DER MERWE
To celebrate our 50th

birthday, we teamed up
with Spree.co.za to bring
you a one-off designer
dress collection by four
of SAs top fashion
designers. The brief?
A red dress for a strong,
beautiful woman. And
who better to show
them off than four of
our fave SA faces? The
designers are offering
these eight gorgeous
dresses for a special
price on Spree.co.za.
And were spreading the
love, too: a portion of the
sales will go to The Pink
Ladies, an organisation
that supports the SAPS
in their work to find
missing persons.
How has
motherhood
changed you?
Jo-ann Strauss: Having

a child has made me more
aware of the fact that time is
our most precious commodity.
One of my favourite quotes
says that time is more valuable than money because you
can always get more money,
but you cant get more time.
I am a lot more conscious of
how I spend my time and who
I spend it with, now.
Jo-Ann
wears ...
THE KNOT
FRONT DRESS
(R999)
BY HABITS
EARRINGS (R150) LOVISA
How do you feel about

being a South African
female athlete?
Vanessa Haywood-Sandes:
Its a massive privilege to be able to
inspire men, women and children to
lead healthier lives and also to realise that your limits are self-imposed.
Long before I completed my first
ABSA Cape Epic I thought taking on
a monster like that would be impossible for me. When I finally did enter,
most people didnt think I would finish. Ive now completed two, despite
suffering chronic asthma attacks in
the second one. Its also incredibly
satisfying representing SA women in
races both here and abroad. As South
African women weve come a long
way, but we still have a way to go
breaking down barriers, speaking
out and staying strong. Using my
profile as both an amateur athlete
and entertainer provides me with a
very important platform that gives
me a voice. If I can affect just one
womans life, my work is done.
Vanessa
wears ...
THE MARINGA
DRESS (R395) BY
AMANDA LAIRD
CHERRY
EARRINGS (R330) LOVISA; HEELS (R659) ZOOM
Lira
wears ...
THE ROSANNO
DRESS (R595)
BY AMANDA
LAIRD
CHERRY
BANGLES (R289 PER SET)
ACCESSORIZE
Where are you at

your happiest?
Lira: Its strange, but I tend

to be most fulfilled when Im
alone, connecting with myself.
Ive spent so much of the last
12 years giving myself to
everyone else that lately I find
being by myself brings me a
kind of joy that is more
intense; that it somehow
makes me an even better
person to all those around me
when I am with them.
Are you hopeful

for women in SA?
Amy Kleinhans: I am very

grateful to be part of this
exciting time for women in
South Africa. We have space to
grow and expand as a community and nothing can be more
inspiring. The skys not the
limit there are footprints
on the moon!
Amy
wears ...
THE BOX DRESS
(R999) BY
MANTSHO
NECKLACE (R599) ACCESSORIZE;
HEELS (R1 099) RIVER ISLAND
Vanessa
wears ...
THE WRAP
DRESS (R999)
BY HABITS
NECKLACE (R199,95) KLINES
Do you feel different

now that youre married?
Vanessa Haywood-Sandes: I dont

think its changed me but its created
an even stronger, more beautiful
bond between Ryan and me. Hes my
best friend and the day I married him
I felt an immense sense of peace; that
the search was over and I had finally found my person. I think that
as a woman it is important to always
act with grace, respect (for both
yourself and others) and love, no
matter whether its in friendship,
marriage or business.
Amy
wears ...
THE WRAP DRESS
(R695) BY LEIGH
SCHUBERT
EARRINGS (R350) LOVISA
What does red

symbolise for you?
HAIR & MAKEUP: KELLI PAITAKI AT

GLOSS ARTIST MANAGEMENT. HAIR:
LYNDAL FITZGERALD AT SUPERNOVA
AND SHAUGHN ADAMS AT IMAGE HAIR.
FASHION INTERN: KIRSTIN GERBER
Amy Kleinhans:
The colour red, for me,
symbolises energy and
warmth and being bold
and brave. Red encapsulates
being ambitious and
striving for the best.
fashion
FASHION EDITOR
CARA-LEE RUDITZKY
denim
DIRECTORY
Weve created our own little black book

(or should we say little blue book?) just
for you heres where to go for jeans in
just about every shape, style and cut.
FASHION FORWARD
RIVER ISLAND
TOPSHOP
What youll find:
Loads of on-trend, high-fashion styles like ripped

denims and boyfriend jeans. They also have a
variety of length measurements if you find that
jeans are often too short or too long on you.
River
Island
Topshop
RIPPED JEANS (R799)
CLASSIC
What youll find:
Most styles, from boyfriend to skinny,

typically in solid blue, white and black.
Youll find some items with trendy
detailing like a slight rip or studs, but
typically nothing over the top. Also
keep an eye out for other denim items
like shirts and jackets.
WOOLWORTHS
ZARA
COUNTRY ROAD
MANGO
QUEENSPARK
WIDE-LEG
JEANS
(R759)
ZARA
STRAIGHT-LEG JEANS
(R550) QUEENSPARK
DENIM SHIRT (R699) MANGO
MR PRICE
EXACT
FOSCHINI
COTTON ON
TRUWORTHS
IS FOR VALUE
What youll find:

Every denim style under
the sun, at super affordable
prices. Its denim for days
at these stores!
TUNIC (R159,99) MR PRICE
Exact
JOGGER
JEANS (R499)
COTTON ON
SKINNY JEANS (R499)

FOSCHINI
VARIETY IS KEY
PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE, SUPPLIED. FASHION INTERN: KIRSTIN GERBER
What youll find:
Loads of variety! These shops

are all about the name brands,
such as GAP, Lucky Brand,
Salsa, FDJ, Miss Me
and loads more. At
Edgars, youll also
find their own
in-house brands.
EDGARS
STUTTAFORDS
DENIM JACKET
(R499,95) FREE
2BU, EDGARS
Lucky
Brands
OLD FAITHFULS
What youll find:
Edgars
DENIM SKIRT
(R1199, 95) LUCKY
BRANDS, EDGARS
SPEND AND SPLURGE

What youll find:
Heftier price tags, yes, but sometimes the extra spend is worth it. If
you live in your jeans, it pays to buy
a pair that moulds to your body and
fits better with each wear. Also great
if you want timeless pieces.
LEVIS
GUESS
SISSY BOY
PATCHWORK
SKIRT (R799)
Sissy
Boy
CLICK, CLICK
DIESEL
G-STAR RAW
SHOP-LABEL
REPLAY
CLOTH & LABEL
7 FOR ALL

MANKIND
STRAIGHT-LEG
JEANS (R3200)
Good quality denim at

average price points.
These stores will definitely
have something for you.
Although they stock other
items as well, they are
denim brands first and
foremost.
Theres nothing more

convenient than
online shopping.
These are our faves
for denim:
Replay
SPREE.CO.ZA
SHOP-LABEL.COM
WOOLWORTHS.CO.ZA
SUPERBALIST.COM
MRP.CO.ZA
fashion
FASHION EDITOR
CARA-LEE RUDITZKY
just
JEANIUS
Fashion ed Cara-Lee talks us

through derrire-enhancing
denim, chic ripped jeans and
dungarees for grown-ups.
A: Denim
brands are
introducing
clever new
tricks to fool
the eye when
it comes to
our curves (or
lack thereof!).
For example,
these Freddy
jeans have
strategically
placed seams
to support and
reshape your
derrire.
Clever, right?
T-SHIRT (R199) COTTON ON; JEANS
(R1999,95) FREDDY, STUTTAFORDS;
BANGLES (R199 FOR SET) MANGO;
HEELS (R899) ZARA
Q:
I love the ripped jeans

trend but have no idea how
to make it look chic instead
of cheap. Help!
A:
Q: Can a denim dungaree
work on an older woman?

They always look so comfy
and cool, but I am not sure
I can pull it off.
The trick
is not to let it
look like youve
been attacked
by Edward
Scissorhands.
Choose dark,
classic jeans
with just one
rip at the
knees. Team
it with a sleek
blazer and a
classic court
heel to
keep
the
look
polished.
SLEEVELESS BLAZER (R859) ZARA;
BLOUSE (R199) COTTON ON;
BANGLE (R799) STERNS; JEANS
(R899) WITCHERY, WOOLWORTHS;
HEELS (R899) ZARA
A:
Yes, you
can! Three
rules: keep them
dark blue, wear
a tailored blouse
underneath
(with sleeves)
and stick to
long ones no
short dungarees
please!
SHEER TOP (R659),

DUNGAREES (R999)
BOTH ZARA; BANGLE
(R999) STERNS; HEELS
(R899) ZARA
Just
three
rules!
All
in the
seams!
SKINNY JEANS,
(R1900) SALSA,
EDGARS
LEFT: DARK
DENIMS
(R399)
COTTON
ON. RIGHT:
LIGHTWASH
JEANS
(R2199)
CALVIN
KLEIN
LEFT: BLUE DUNGAREES

(R499,95) FREE 2BU,
EDGARS. RIGHT: DARK
DUNGAREES (R399)
IDENTITY
PHOTOGRAPHER: ANL VAN DER MERWE, FASHION INTERN: KIRSTIN GERBER
Q:
I have a totally flat

booty. What can I do to make
it look a little more shapely
and full?
Style news..
The awless trend is inspired by luxury and comfort with colours of nudes, white,
pinks and accents of black. Our Fashion editor Cara-Lee shows you how to wear
these ballerina pink items to work and after hours with a selection from Edgars.
Charter Club
cream coat
R1 299,95
Charter Club
salmon jacket
R999,95
Mango
white top
R549
Mango
white top
R399
Fee2bu
Cropped pink
PU biker jacket
R699,95
Think leather
jackets only come
in black? Wrong!
This winter pick
one in baby pink,
lavender or lemon
yellow
Dune,
Dramey
handbag
R1 999
Dune
clutch
R1 199
Michael Kors
Rose Gold
Ladies watch
R4 499
Fee2bu
skinny jeans
R399,95
Editors
choice
Fee2bu
skinny jeans
R399,95
Dune Bellini
blush shoes
R1 499
White diamante
earrings
R59,95
Black Kelso
Almond toe
slingback
R449,95
TO THE OFFICE
OUT TO DRINKS
It is all about layering. Think of them as smart work trousers and

dress them as you would your black or grey tailored pants. A soft
blouse under your blazer topped off with a chic long coat dresses
them up just enough. Your accessories will polish off the look,
making it boardroom appropriate.
Keep the pants and soft blouse; you want the look dressy but
more relaxed and edgy. Team with a leather jacket and black and
metallic accessories and voila your daytime, casual jeans are
vamped up, ready for a night on the town.
fashion
everyday
DENIM
FASHION EDITOR
CARA-LEE RUDITZKY
A denim jacket goes with

everything, and its a great
transitional item for those
in-between days. Definitely
worth the purchase.
DENIM JACKET WITH ZIP

DETAIL (R999) MANGO
THE DRESS
BELTED
DENIM
DRESS
(R6260)
MAX
MARA
Dress it up or down
(depending on the
occasion) and when the
weather cools, transform
the look by pairing it
with a chunky knit.
SHIRT DRESS (R399) STYLE

REPUBLIC, SPREE.CO.ZA
THE SKIRT
Wear it casually on the

weekend with your sandals
and a tee, or for work with
heels and a blazer.
TWEED AND DENIM JACKET

(R4899,99)
SCOTCH AND SODA
THE JEANS
This one needs little
explanation: if you
find a shape and style
that works for you,
buy it in every colour!
FIT AND FLARE SKIRT

(R230) EXACT
THE SHIRT
Wear on its own or totally
unbuttoned as a lightweight
cover-up its perfect for
weekends away or to throw
on for the school run.
perfect
cover
-up
DARK STRAIGHT LEG JEANS

(R799) TRENERY, WOOLWORTHS
BLUE STRAIGHT LEG JEANS

(R249,95) KELSO, EDGARS
LONG-SLEEVED
SHIRT (R699)
FOREVER NEW
PENCIL SKIRT (R380)

TRUWORTHS
PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE, SUPPLIED. FASHION INTERN: KIRSTIN GERBER
THE JACKET
Dark, faded or distressed,

denim is as versatile is it is
varied. Stock up on these five
wardrobe essentials.
SLEEVELESS SHIRT
(R349) COTTON ON
beauty
glow
S
LET IT
Skin looking a bit dull? Get

your radiance back with a few
key lifestyle changes and a little
bit of help from our favourite
light-enhancing products.
tress, insomnia,
exposure to the
elements (sun and
wind) and a host
of other factors
can really take
their toll on your
skin so we shouldnt be surprised
that tired-looking skin is listed as one
of South African womens top three
skin complaints. So what can we do
about it?
First things first: kickstart your
glowing complexion from within.
Are you drinking enough water? H2O
not only keeps you hydrated throughout the entire day; it also flushes
out toxins, making a gorgeous glow
easier to achieve. Remember to sip
your 2L of water throughout the day
in order to properly feel (and see!)

the benefits.
Secondly, never underestimate
the power of sleep it helps your
skin re-energise and regenerate.
You need about seven hours of
shut-eye per night to function
properly. Remember to avoid looking
at your cellphone, tablet or television
for at least an hour before bed as
the illuminated screen makes it
harder for you to fall asleep.
Try Cliniques Turnaround Overnight Radiance Moisturizer before
you hit the hay. It gently replaces
your dull, worn-out cells while
you sleep, and sinks into the skin
with ease. With regular use, your
complexion should become brighter
and smoother.
Our best glow-getters:
SKIN
Moisturiser: Nivea Q10 Plus Anti-Wrinkle
Energising Day Cream SPF 15, R149,99
Cleanser: Ponds Gold Radiance
Radiance Revealed Facial Foam, R129,99
Exfoliator: Clarins Gentle Exfoliator
Brightening Toner, R365
Serum: Nivea Q10 Plus Anti-Wrinkle
Energy Serum, R149,99
Eye Gel: La Mer Illuminating Eye
Gel, R1 480
Night Cream: Clinique Turnaround
Overnight Radiance Moisturizer, R540
Facial Oil: LOral Paris Age Perfect
Extraordinary Facial Oil, R234,95
BE SKIN SAVVY
Niveas new Q10 Plus AntiWrinkle Energy range is a

great way to give exhausted
skin a boost. The Energising
Day Cream contains natural
goji berry extract that helps
your skin recover from stress
and fatigue. And, as an added
bonus, it prevents premature
ageing and slows down the
production of pigmentation and
fine lines. All good! The secret
apparently lies in the hyaluronic acid (HA) and coenzyme
Q10 in the range: as we age,
our skins natural HA depletes,
and this serum re-introduces
it, resulting in a fresher, more
youthful appearance and
banishing all signs of dullness.
The thin layer of skin around
your eyes is the first to show signs of
tiredness and dullness, so a good eye
cream or gel is a must. La Mers new
Illuminating Eye Gel is pricey but
effective it has the same healing
properties as their famous Miracle
TOP TIP
Broth. Apply twice a day to look
instantly refreshed.
Just a few drops of LOral Paris
Age Perfect Extraordinary Facial
Oil go a long way, thanks to the
luxurious blend of rose oil and seven
other essential oils. After use, skin
feels cashmere-soft and radiant.
For a quick glow fix, try

sucking on an ice cube. It
chills the millions of blood
cells in your cheeks and lips
and increases circulation,
giving your face a plumper,
rosier appearance
BODY
Body Lotion: Nivea Naturally Even Body Lotion, R32,99 for 250ml
Exfoliator: Clarins Exfoliating Body Scrub For Smooth Skin, R415
Wax: Oh-Lief Natural Olive Body Wax, R120
Body Cleanser: Lipidol Cleansing Body Oil, R79,95
Body Gel: African Extracts Refreshing Bath & Shower Gel, R39,99
TOP TIP
Have you ever tried meditating?
Taking in deep, slow breaths for
just 10 minutes a day can
dissolve stress and anxiety, two
huge contributors to a sallow
complexion. Meditation
calms the mind as well
as the body.
SKIN REBOOT
Got the best body products

but still looking worn out?
Youre probably in need of a
temporary detox. The outside
of your body mimics whats
happening on the inside, so
try increasing your intake
of fresh vegetables, limiting
salty snacks and cutting out
sugar and alcohol for at least
five days youll be amazed
at the difference it makes.
Getting a bit of exercise
every day will also get that
glow going. Try a 30-minute
walk just to get your heart
rate up. Hop into a shower
afterwards and lather up with
African Extracts Refreshing
Bath & Shower Gel: the rooibos extract and jojoba oil in
it refresh and rejuvenate the
skin. For best results, apply
body lotion too. A lightweight body moisturiser like
Nivea Naturally Even Body
Lotion is absorbed quickly
and restores your natural skin
tone. It also protects from
dark spots and pigmentation.
Buff your body at least
once a week with Clarins
Exfoliating Body Scrub For
Smooth Skin it contains
natural bamboo powders to
slough off rough skin cells,
and shea butter to leave the
skin feeling soft. And it
smells gorgeous!
The outside of your body mimics whats

happening on the inside, so try increasing
your intake of fresh vegetables
Highlighter: YSL Touche clat Radiant

Touch in 5, R510
Face Illuminator: Revlon Photoready
Skinlights Face Illuminator in 100 Bare
Light, R170
Illuminating Foundation: YSL Le Teint
Touche clat Illuminating Foundation in
Beige Dor, R580
Anti-Fatigue Foundation: Guerlain
Mtorites Baby Glow Light-Revealing Sheer
Make-Up Anti-Fatigue Effect SPF 25, R750
Powder: MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in
Soft & Gentle, R350
For under your foundation: Clarins
Instant Light Radiance Boosting Complexion Base, R345
Unwashed makeup
brushes and sponges are
the perfect breeding ground
for dirt and bacteria, which
can result in breakouts.
Heres how to keep
them clean
Give your powder brushes
a good clean every 23
weeks, and clean foundation brushes once a week:
mix a few drops of baby
shampoo in lukewarm
water in a clear glass.
Swish brushes around the
glass and then rinse with
lukewarm water. Finally, pat
dry and lie them down
flat to air-dry.
LIGHTEN UP
There are loads of ways to add shine

and luminance with makeup, but
remember: subtle looks are always
the most flattering. Look out for
illuminating products that give a
fresh, radiant finish
and go for workable
colours that are easy
to apply and blend
well with your skin.
Liquid illuminating
products are easy
to apply and have
the most flattering
finish. Use them
(sparingly!) under
your foundation or
tinted moisturiser.
Clarins Instant Light
Radiance Boosting
Complexion Base
corrects your skin
tone and naturally
illuminates the
skin. Katafray bark
extract leaves the
skin feeling hydrated
and soothed after
application and
its so effective that
it can even be worn
alone, after applying
your day cream.
YSLs Touche clat
Radiant Touch is
an iconic highlighting product, used
by women around
the world for good
reason. Dark circles,
fine lines and all
signs of fatigue are
softened with a
few clicks of this
magical pen, and
your skin is lifted
by the Luminocaptide Complex (aka
radiance boosting ingredient) it contains.
PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE, GREATSTOCK / TRUNK ARCHIVE.COM / ARTHUR BELEBEAU
FACE
TOP TIP
NIVEA PROMOTION
WAKE UP
GLOW
&
Get your glow back

with the help of
NIVEAs new Q10
plus Anti-Wrinkle
Energy Range.
PHOTOGRAPH: SUPPLIED
odern life means

were constantly
on the go. Getting kids ready for
school, long working hours and frustrating traffic sound familiar? No
wonder our skin looks tired and dull.
NIVEA Q10 plus Anti-Wrinkle
Energy Range is the perfect pickme-up for tired-looking skin. The
skin-energising formula supports
your skins natural Q10 and contains
creatine to reduce fine lines and
give skin back its radiant, healthy
glow. The secret ingredient in the

Energising Day Cream SPF15 is
the power fruit: goji berries. It
reactivates the skins power to
fight fatigue and stress. The Energy
Serum contains Hyaluronic Acid,
which binds moisture in the skin
to plump it up from the inside out,
making it appear smoother. The
cooling Energy Eye Roll-On works
wonders on tired eyes. Apply in
circular motions around the eye and
gently pat into the skin to get rid of
FOR MORE INFORMATION: NIVEA.CO.ZA
those dreaded dark rings

and puffiness. Team the
NIVEA Q10 plus AntiWrinkle Energy Range
with a healthy eating plan
and youll get your glow
back in no time.
Its easy to neglect your hands but

chipped and ragged nails are never
a good look. Heres how to keep
them pretty and healthy.
steps
to
STRONG
beautiful
NAILS
TOP TIP:
When you dont have a

cuticle stick handy, use
the curved edge of an
emery board to gently
push back cuticles.
Cuticle Control
Keep your cuticles moisturised and
supple with a good cuticle cream or oil.
Never push them back if theyre dry and
dehydrated, and dont cut them they
protect the nails and roots by keeping
them safe from bacteria. Use a reliable
cuticle remover to soften the cuticles and
then gently push them back with a cuticle
stick. Get rid of dead skin cells by moving
the stick in small circles over the nail.
We love
Essie Apricot Hydrate + Revitalize Cuticle Oil, R135

Essence Studio Nails Moisturizing Cuticle Cream, R38,95
Sally Hansen Instant Cuticle Remover, R79,95
UBU CutieCools Emery Tipped Cuticle Sticks, R49,95
Dr. Hauschka Neem Nail & Cuticle Pen, R271
UBU Memery Files Emery Boards 5 pack, R31,95
beauty
Hangnail Cure
TOP TIP: Keep hangnails at bay

by making moisturising a habit,
not just something you experience when you have a manicure.
Try to keep a tube of hand cream
in your car its a good reminder
to apply it every time you get in.
And its best if you also apply
cuticle oil every day I keep
some on top of my desk to
remind me.
We love
Tweezerman Zebra Print

Nail Clipper, R200
Africology Cuticle
Conditioning Oil, R185
lotions
&
potions
We love:
Sorbet Hydrating Hand

& Nail Cream, R29,95
Creightons Argan Body Hand
and Nail Cream, R55
Nuxe Rve de Miel Hand
and Nail Cream, R150
Use a cream that cares for your

nails as well as your hands.
Choose products with nourishing
ingredients like vitamin E, argan
oil, shea butter and sweet
almond oil. For best results,
apply after washing your hands.
4 5
GROWTH
SPURT
Slow or poor nail

growth can lead to
breakages,
splitting and
brittleness. Like
hair, nails are made
of the protein keratin,
and several factors
contribute to slow nail growth:
ageing, hormonal changes, chemotherapy, medications, nutritional
deficiencies or other health problems.
Eating well and caring properly for
your nails will keep nails strong and
growing at a healthy pace. To speed it
up, try a nail growth treatment like
Sally Hansen Nailgrowth Miracle
Serum, R99,95, enriched with biotin.
Apply daily and youll soon see
the results.
STRONG
NAILS
Try these
tips to
keep nails
strong and
healthy:
Dont wash the dishes with

bare hands cotton-lined rubber
gloves are cheap and readily
available at most supermarkets.
Use an acetone-free nail
varnish remover. We love: Sorbet
Hydrate Nail Polish Remover,
R39,95.
Drink plenty of water. If you
are dehydrated, your nails will
be, too.
Apply a strengthening treatment
to your nails. SpaRitual Protein
Boost Strengthening Treatment
for Brittle Nails, R220, is a good
one. It prevents splitting and
peeling, improves nail flexibility
and conditions, too.
PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE, THINKSTOCK, GALLO IMAGES / GETTY IMAGES; STYLING: JANA WESSELS
Hangnails are surely one of the most

annoying (and sometimes painful)
effects of nail neglect. These splits
of dead skin around the fingernails
are formed when the skin in that
area doesnt have a good supply of
moisture and simply dries out. If you
get a hangnail, soak it in water or
an oil solution to soften it and then
just clip off the little tag of skin with
sharp nail clippers. Clip it short and
do it early to prevent it from getting
worse, but dont skip the soaking
step: clipping the hangnail when
its still hard could result in the skin
ripping more. They seem harmless
enough, but hangnails are more
than just an everyday irritation an
infected hangnail can lead to serious
inflammation of the cuticles and
other tissue surrounding the nail.
NAILBITING
STUFF
Nail biting
is one of
the most challenging
habits to break. It can
have long-term effects
on your nails and its
unhygienic too. Heres
how to stop:
1) Distract yourself: Carry a stress

ball or coin, twiddle your thumbs or
put your hands in your pockets whenever you have the urge to bite.
2) Get a manicure: If you pay for
your nails to be done professionally,
youre far less likely to want to bite
them, especially if its a long-lasting
mani such as a Gelish or Shellac
application.
3) Keep hands busy: Hobbies like
knitting, cooking or even painting
will keep your hands busy and away
from your mouth. Plus, you may even
discover a new talent!
7
4 colours every
woman should have:
CLASSIC RED: Crabtree & Evelyn
Nail Lacquer in Apple, R160
NUDE: Nails Inc. London Nail Polish
in Basil Street, R115
BOLD & BRIGHT: Revlon Nail Enamel
in 923 Orange Flip, R99,95
EVENING WEAR: Essence Colour & Go
in 180 Its Raining Men!, R24,95
colour corrector
Old nail polish tends to leave

nails stained and discoloured.
Try one of these easy home
remedies to get your nails
back on track:
1) Lavender oil: Apply a few drops
of lavender oil to the nails and use a nail
buffer to buff out the stains.
2) Lemon juice: Squeeze the juice of
half a lemon into a bowl and soak your
nails for a few minutes before scrubbing
with a toothbrush.
3) Peroxide toothpaste: Apply toothpaste containing peroxide to your nails
and brush them with a toothbrush.
going
green
Some hand washes and

soaps can dry out your
nails, making them brittle
and weak. Avoid soaps
that contain triclosan,
a harsh chemical usually
described as antibacterial.
Instead, choose products
that contain natural antibacterial ingredients, like
eucalyptus and tea tree oil.
We love
Oh-Lief Natural Hand

Wash Lavender Roman
Chamomile and
Tea Tree 150ml, R110
food
FOOD EDITOR
JUSTINE KIGGEN
PHOTOGRAPHS
ANL VAN DER MERWE
gorgeous
easter
lunch
Easter marks that
convergence of seasons
where soups, salads, stews
and sweets can all be piled
on the table at the same
time enjoy the bounty!
Minted rocket and pea soup

recipe on page 108
Name of dish
recipe on page 000
Name of dish
recipe on page 000
Avocado, baby leaf &

blueberry salad with
walnut dressing
Serves 6
FOR THE SALAD

2 avocados, peeled and sliced
120g mixed baby leaves
250g blueberries
100g blue cheese, crumbled
Sea salt and black pepper
Avocado, baby leaf & blueberry

salad with walnut dressing
FOR THE DRESSING

1 small garlic clove, minced
2 tsp honey
1 tbsp white balsamic vinegar
1
/3 cup olive oil or walnut oil
100g walnuts, toasted and roughly
chopped
1. In a large bowl toss together all the
salad ingredients. Season.
2. For the dressing: Place the garlic,
honey and vinegar in a small jug and
whisk to combine. Slowly add the oil,
whisking constantly. Stir in the walnuts
and season well.
3. Pour dressing over salad, toss to
combine and serve immediately.
Lamb shanks in a rich

tomato sauce with white
bean pure
Serves 6
6 lamb shanks
1 cup flour mixed with 1 tsp smoked
paprika
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp butter
3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
68 baby onions, peeled
3 carrots, peeled and cut into chunks
8 anchovies, chopped
1 tbsp dried rosemary
2 bay leaves
Big pinch of crushed dried chilli
2 tbsp tomato paste
3 x 400g tins cherry tomatoes
1 cups red wine
Sea salt and black pepper

Handful of flatleaf parsley, chopped
FOR THE WHITE BEAN PURE
1 garlic clove, minced
2 x 400g tins white beans, rinsed and
drained
cup chicken stock
2 tbsp chopped parsley
Olive oil for drizzling
1. Allow the shanks to come to room
temperature. Toss in the seasoned
flour and set aside.
2. Heat 1 tbsp olive oil and 1 tbsp
butter in a large ovenproof pot. Add
lamb shanks, brown on all sides and
remove. Wipe out pot with paper towel.
3. Preheat oven to 160C. Add remaining olive oil and butter to the pot, toss
in garlic, onions and carrot and saut
until lightly golden. Add anchovy, rosemary, bay leaves and chilli and cook for
another minute, stirring occasionally.
Return lamb shanks to pot; stir to
combine. Add remaining ingredients
up to red wine, season and bring to
a boil, then remove from hob, cover
and place in oven. Cook for 2 hours,
checking after an hour. Remove from
oven and stir in parsley.
4. For the bean pure: Place all the
ingredients, except the oil, in a pot and
bring to a simmer. Remove, pure until
smooth, season and drizzle with oil.
5. Serve shanks with the bean pure.
Lamb shanks in a rich tomato

sauce with white bean pure
Name of dish
recipe on page 000
Vegetable terrine
Serves 6-8
8 large courgettes, sliced into ribbons,

(we used a mixture of regular and yellow
courgettes)
2 yellow peppers, roasted and peeled
1 x 230g tub cream cheese
1 x 250g tub cultured cream/crme
frache
2 tsp gelatin sponged with 2 tbsp water
and melted
3 tbsp chives, finely chopped
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
100g mini asparagus spears, blanched
200g fresh peas
FOR THE ROMANESCO SAUCE
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
red onion, thinly sliced
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 red pepper, peeled, seeded and
chopped
1 tomato, diced
1 red chilli, seeded and chopped
1 tsp paprika
20g blanched almonds, roasted
20g peeled hazelnuts, roasted
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
Minted rocket & pea

soup
Serves 6
1 tbsp olive oil

3 baby leeks, washed and finely sliced
2 large potatoes, peeled and finely cubed
1,2L chicken or vegetable stock
600g frozen peas
100g wild rocket
10g mint
Sea salt and white pepper
Olive oil and fresh mint, to garnish
Cheese straws to serve
1. Heat a medium-sized deep pot,
add the olive oil, toss in the leek, saut
until just golden, toss in the cubed

potato, saut for an additional minute
then pour in the stock, bring to a boil
and simmer for 10 minutes.
2. Add the peas, rocket and mint, stir
to combine. Remove the pot from the
heat and, with a handheld blender,
blitz until smooth. Return pot to hob
and gently reheat. Season to taste.
3. To serve: Ladle the soup into 6
bowls, top with a drizzle of olive oil
and some fresh mint leaves. Serve
with warmed cheese straws.
Citrus and almond

Easter cake
Makes 1x 2-tier cake

575g cake flour
1 tbsp baking powder
tsp salt
250g butter, softened
440g castor sugar
1 tsp almond extract
4 large eggs, at room temperature
2 cups buttermilk
75g mixed citrus peel
FOR THE ICING
600g icing sugar
tsp almond extract
3 tbsp milk or water
Speckled eggs and Easter biscuits,
to decorate
1. Preheat oven to 180C. Grease and
line 2 round baking tins with baking
paper one 22cm in diameter and the
other 16cm in diameter.
2. Sift together dry ingredients and
set aside. Cream butter, sugar and
almond extract until pale and creamy.
Beat in eggs one at a time, beating
well after each addition.
3. Alternately fold in dry ingredients
and buttermilk. Then fold in peel.
4. Divide batter between baking tins
and bake for 5060 minutes until golden and baked through. Allow to cool.
5. Beat together icing ingredients until
pale and fluffy. Ice cake and decorate
with speckled eggs and biscuits.
FOOD ASSISTANT: PIA-ALEXA DUARTE
Vegetable terrine
1. Line a 26 x 10cm (1L) loaf

tin with foil.
2. Toss the courgette ribbons
in a little olive oil and cook on
a hot griddle pan until lined
and slightly charred.
3. Arrange courgette ribbons
over the base and sides of
the tin, overlapping to ensure
there are no gaps. Reserve
some courgettes for the top.
4. Cut the peppers into large
slices. Place half the peppers
over the base of the tin.
5. Combine cream cheese,
cultured cream, melted gelatin
and chives. Season well.
Spread 1 cup of the mixture
over the peppers.
6. Top with half the asparagus
and peas. Repeat layers with
remaining ingredients. Cover
the final layer with the remaining courgette ribbons.
7. Cover the top with foil and chill in
the fridge for 6 hours or overnight.
8. To make the romanesco sauce:
Heat olive oil and fry onion and
garlic until soft. Add red pepper and
remaining ingredients and cook for 5
minutes. Blend mixture until smooth
and season to taste.
9. To serve: Unmould terrine and
slice with a hot, sharp knife. Serve with
a dollop of romanesco sauce.
Citrus and almond Easter cake
These internationally-inspired
Easter treats are perfect at
any time of day.
your
daily
bread
FOOD EDITOR
JUSTINE KIGGEN
PHOTOGRAPHS
ANL VAN DER MERWE
Polish-style blueberry bubka wreath

recipe on page 113
Hungarian-style jammy shortbread

recipe on page 112
for 30 minutes, or until doubled in size.

In the meantime, preheat the oven to
180C. Lightly push the red eggs into
the plaited dough at intervals.
5. Bake for 4050 minutes until golden
and baked through. Remove from oven
and cool completely before slicing.
Hungarian-style jammy
shortbread
Makes 12 squares
FOR THE BASE
200g butter, cut into cubes
100g castor sugar
1 egg yolk
tsp vanilla extract
250g cake flour
50g cornflour
Pinch of salt
FOR THE FILLING
cup sour cherry jam
FOR THE TOPPING
2 tbsp demerara sugar
Greek-style Easter bread
Greek-style Easter bread

Makes one large loaf
cup warm milk

1 tbsp honey
1 x 10g sachet active instant dry yeast
300g cake flour
1 tsp salt
30g castor sugar
2 eggs
100g butter, cut into cubes
1 egg, beaten for brushing
3 eggs, hardboiled and soaked in red
food colouring
1. Place the milk and honey in a jug,
stir to dissolve the honey. Add yeast.
Set aside in a warm place for 10 minutes or until yeast is bubbly and frothy.
2. Put the flour, salt and castor sugar

into the bowl of a food mixer with the
dough hook attached. Add the 2 eggs
and butter and the yeast mixture, and
mix for 5 minutes or until you have a
sticky but firm dough. Remove the
dough from the mixing bowl, place
in another bowl and cover with a tea
towel; allow to rise until doubled in size
about 1 hour.
3. Knock back the dough and knead
for 2 minutes on a floured surface.
4. Divide dough into 3 equal pieces;
roll each piece out into a long sausage
shape. Press the ends of the 3 sausages together, then plait the dough.
Press together again at the other end.
Place on a greased baking tray and
brush with beaten egg. Allow to stand
1. Preheat the oven to 180C.

Grease and line a 23 x 23cm square
baking tin.
2. Place the butter in a bowl, add the
sugar and beat until pale and creamy.
Add the egg yolk and vanilla and
continue to beat until combined.
3. Sift together the flour, cornflour and
salt and stir into the creamed mixture
until it forms a dough. Form mixture
into a ball, cover with clingwrap and
refrigerate for 30 minutes.
4. Cut off 2/3 of the dough and return
the remaining 1/3 to the refrigerator.
Press dough into prepared tin. Place
in the oven and bake for 15 minutes.
Remove and allow to cool completely.
5. Top the baked shortbread with the
jam, then grate the remaining 1/3 pastry over it and sprinkle with sugar.
6. Return to the oven and bake for
another 1520 minutes. Remove, cool,
then slice into squares.
Polish-style blueberry
bubka wreath
Serves 8
400g cake flour, plus extra for dusting

50g castor sugar
2 tsp salt
1 cup warm milk, plus extra for
brushing
1 extra-large egg
2 tsp vanilla extract
FOR THE FILLING
70g demerara sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
FOR THE BLUEBERRY SAUCE
200g frozen blueberries, defrosted
100g demerara or muscovado sugar
Zest and juice of 1 lemon
60g butter, melted
Icing sugar, for dusting
1. Place flour, yeast, sugar and salt in
a large mixing bowl.
2. Beat milk and egg together; add to
dry ingredients along with the butter
and vanilla. Mix to form a soft dough.
Add a little extra milk if needed.
3. Turn dough out onto a lightly
floured surface and knead for 5 minutes until smooth and elastic. Place
back in the bowl and leave to prove in
a warm place for about an hour or until
doubled in size.
4. Preheat oven to 180C.
5. Roll out the risen dough into a rectangle about 1cm thick. Sprinkle sugar
and cinnamon evenly over the dough.
Roll the dough up into a tight roll and
slice it in half lengthways.
6. Twist the two halves together, keeping the cut face exposed. Arrange in a
circle on a well-greased, lined baking
tray and pinch the ends together.
7. Brush with a little milk and bake for
about 45 minutes or until golden and
baked through.
English-style hot cross buns

with chocolate and raisins
8. To serve: Blend sauce ingredients
together, transfer to a small saucepan
and boil for 5 minutes or until thickened. Pour into a jar and cool.
9. To serve: Drizzle sauce over the
wreath and dust with icing sugar.
English-style hot cross

bun pull-apart with
chocolate & raisins
Makes 16 hot cross buns
500g cake flour

1 tbsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground mixed spice
tsp ground nutmeg
1 tsp salt
75g brown sugar
50g butter, melted

cup milk, warmed
2 eggs, beaten
Zest and juice of 1 orange
FOR THE FILLING
150g dried cake fruit mix
80g dark chocolate, chopped
FOR THE GLAZING AND ICING
cup golden syrup
1 cup icing sugar
2 tbsp water
1. Combine flour, spices, yeast, salt
and sugar in a bowl.
2. Mix the butter, milk, eggs, orange
zest and juice together.
3. Add wet ingredients to dry and mix
to form a soft dough. Knead lightly for
Genovese-style
savoury Easter tart
a few minutes until smooth. Cover with

a damp tea towel and leave to stand
in a warm place until doubled in size.
Knock back dough and roll out into a
long rectangle about cm thick.
4. Combine dried fruit and chocolate
and sprinkle over dough. Roll dough
into a tight roll and slice into 16 slices.
5. Arrange the slices in a well-buttered
33 x 22cm baking tin and leave to
stand in a warm place for about 30
minutes, until doubled in size.
6. Bake 40 min or til golden brown.
7. To finish: Brush buns with syrup
while theyre piping hot. Beat

together icing sugar and water and
pipe crosses onto buns. Serve warm
with butter.
Genovese-style
savoury Easter tart
Serves 46
FOR THE FILLING

2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, thinly sliced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1. Preheat oven to 200C. Grease and

line a baking tray with foil.
2. Heat olive oil in a pan and saut the
onion until golden, add the garlic and
fry for another 1 minute, add artichoke
and spinach and cook until spinach is
wilted. Remove, allow to cool, stir in
parmesan and season well.
3. Unroll one of the pastry rolls and
place on the baking tray. Crumble
ricotta over, leaving a 2cm edge
around the filling. Top ricotta with
cooled artichoke mixture. Make
6 indentations in artichoke mixture and
crack an egg into each indentation.
4. Top the eggs with a layer each of
salami and ham. Lightly roll out the
second roll of pastry and carefully
place it over the filling. Crimp the
edges together with a fork and trim off
any excess pastry with a sharp knife.
Brush pastry with egg wash.
5. Bake for 35 minutes, then reduce
temperature to 180C and cook for
another 20 minutes or until pastry is
puffed, golden and baked through.
6. To serve: Serve warm or at room
temperature with sweet chilli sauce.
1 x 400g tin artichokes, drained and

chopped
600g baby spinach, chopped and
blanched
50g parmesan cheese, grated
Salt and black pepper
2 x 400g ready-rolled puff pastry,
defrosted
300g ricotta cheese
6 large eggs
100g sliced salami
100g thinly sliced ham
1 beaten egg, for egg wash
winywiny!
wine oclock
ast year I was asked to be on the

judging panel of the annual Barrels
and Beards competition, where all
the winemakers from Botrivier
sprout quite magnificent facial hair
over a period of three months and
ruthlessly compete with one another
for Best Beard. Its an excellent party
absolutely rife with corruption and
bribery, with hairy farmers sidling up
and offering you all kinds of beautiful bottles under the table on the
understanding that you will look
favourably upon their furry faces
when the time comes.
Luckily the judging is all about
the beards rather than the barrels,
because despite being an enthusiastic
and dedicated consumer of the stuff,
I am by no stretch of the imagination
anywhere remotely near being an
expert. Which the other three judges
on the panel most definitely were.
So when one of them (Dave
Swingler, Im talking about YOU)
invited us to lunch a few weeks later,
I went into a flat panic about what
wine to take. Its pretty much
accepted that when youre invited to
lunch or dinner in someones home,
you arrive with a bottle or two of
wine for your host. But what do you
give someone who can say things
like what percentage malo? or
I find the nose well-reflected on the
palate with a straight face? (Just to
clarify, despite the malo, Dave is one
of the least pretentious and most
knowledgeable wine people I know).
But that didnt help me. And in my
flat panic it struck me that there were
quite a few similar wine-related
questions that I didnt really know
the answer to. So I did a bit of
research on a few of them:
What you should take when a

wine fundi invites you to lunch,
and other winy questions
1
Q: What should I take when invited to lunch
by a total wine fundi?
A: Chocolate. Seriously dont even go there.
It is their pleasure and their place to teach you
about wine just relax and enjoy it!
Q: In general, can you ask your host to open
the wine you brought to the dinner party?
A: Afraid not its a gift, is the common consensus. Unless, of course, its a BYOB party, in which
case youre expected to drink the wine you bring,
and its perfectly all right. So even if you take a
bottle of something gorgeous and your host is
serving up rotgut, you cant do anything other than
look at your bottle longingly.
Q: Can you drink red wine with fish?
A: Yes, especially with strong-flavoured fish like
tuna or yellowtail or fish cooked in a strongly
flavoured sauce. Similarly, if you want to drink
white wine with meat, go right ahead but make
sure its a full-bodied white that can stand up to
the strong flavours. Basically, the recommendation
these days is either to try to match the mouth-feel
and weightiness of wine and food, or
to deliberately counterbalance one with the other.
Q: Can you chill red wine, or add ice to it?
A: It may seem like sacrilege, but yes to the
chilling. In summer specifically, because our
summers are so hot and also because a cooler
temperature can really add to a light-bodied red,
giving it all the advantages of a thirst-quenching
ros, but with a lot more vooma. But

adding ice? Of course not. It will dilute
it, and substantially alter the flavour.
Q: Does wine really need to
breathe?
A: Sometimes it can soften tannins
in young red wines, making the wine
smoother and less harsh. But you
need to pour it into a glass or carafe
and let it stand for a while simply
taking the cork out is pointless because so little is exposed to the air.
Q: Does white wine make you
more aggressive than red wine?
A: Theres no scientific evidence on
this but, if it happens, it may be
because we tend to drink white wine
so much faster than red, say the
experts. Or its possibly because white
wines can contain much more sugar
than red, and the combination of
sugar and alcohol may be problematic.
PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE
BY SUZY BROKENSHA
GREAT WINES TO TAKE TO

OCCASIONS OTHER THAN
LUNCH WITH A FUNDI
1. An informal al fresco lunch with

your girlfriends: Robertson Winery Lightly
Sparkling Sauvignon Blanc 2014 (about R50)
Its so light and sparkly you can drink a lot of it with
impunity (because you know you will).
2. A Friday night braai with muchloved old friends: Rietvallei JMB Cabernet
Franc 2011 (about R240) Youd better like them
very much, because this is a really special wine.
3. A first dinner with new mightbecome friends: Babylonstoren Nebukad-
nesar (about R270) A beautiful blend not
ridiculously flash, but still noteworthy. And the label is

gorgeous, so you can talk about that if theres a lull...
4. A really special celebratory

dinner with your beloved(s): Tte de
Cuve 2010 Galpin Peak Pinot Noir (ahem, about

R730) It is beautiful. Thats all there is to say.
*Prices correct at time of going to print; may vary from store to store. *Alcohol not for sale to persons under the age of 18.
WHATS IN THE MIX

FOR YOUR NEXT MEAL?
but chicken
THB/38511/ENG/FL/P2/R2
No other meat
COMPILED BY SANDRA PARMEE
BOOKS
If You Were Me
By Sheila OFlanagan
(Headline Review)
Carlotta OKeefe
is in the perfect
relationship with her
successful boyfriend,
Chris, and their
wedding day is set.
She has a fabulous
career, too, and could
not be happier Until she travels
to Spain for work, misses her train
home and bumps into her first love:
Luke Evans. It has been 18 years
since he disappeared and broke her
heart. She was so sure he was out of
her system, but is he really? Carlotta
doesnt believe in fate, but she starts
to question her life and future. Is she
really happy with the life she has?
This exciting book kept me guessing
(anxiously) until the last pages.
A must-read for romantics like me.
Crystal Matthews
Northanger Abbey
Val McDermid
(The Borough Press)
In this modern take

on Jane Austens
classic, 17-year-old
Cat Morland lives a
sheltered life with
her parents in Dorset.
She goes to Edinburgh with their
wealthy neighbours and meets Henry
Tilney at a dance class with his sister
Eleanor. But theres something odd
about the Tilneys and their overbearing father who has an unnatural hold
over his children. Cat stays with them
at Northanger Abbey, a grand country
estate full of secret tunnels and
turrets. Cats overactive imagination
and fascination with the supernatural
give her cause to believe her hosts
are hiding some very dark secrets.
Anl van der Merwe
THIS
MONTH
WE
LOVE
2a.m. at The
Cats Pajamas
By Marie-Helene Bertino
(Crown)
Nine-year-old Madeleine sings Nina
Simone songs in the mirror while
smoking and practising her shimmy.
Her guide to life? A book of howtos her mom left before she died:
how to sew a button, how to talk
about a book you havent read, etc.
Her dad has disappeared into his
grief, and Madeleine is left to fend
for herself. After facing down her
classmates and teachers at school,
Madeleine decides to make her
singing debut at the legendary local
jazz club, The Cats Pajamas. Fifth
grade art teacher Sarina Greene
moved back to Philadelphia after
her divorce and feels out of place.
She still dreams of making a real
connection with her high school
crush. Jack Lorca is also having
a bad day. He is in danger of losing
his jazz club if he cant scrape
together $30 000, and the musical
misfits around him are less than
helpful. Then, one night at 2a.m.,
their paths cross. A charming read.
Liesl Robertson
Travelling to Infinity
By Jane Hawking
(Alma Books)
Jane Hawking,
Stephen Hawkings
first wife, has written
a memoir of their
time together during
which he became
a famous scientist
while his body deteriorated as a result of motor neuron
disease. Diagnosed soon after they
met, he was about to embark on his
PhD at Cambridge and Jane was doing a speed-writing course. This book
is her candid account of balancing
a family life (they had three children) and her own career with giving
Stephen 24-hour care. I loved it and
was kept engrossed by the amazing
strength of Jane as well as the genius
of Stephen, as she documents their
journey together.
Sally Kramer
Of Things Gone Astray

By Janina Matthewson
(The Friday Project)
Jake lost his mother

now hes obsessed
with loss. He collects
lost items from his
school, on pavements, in airports
until his bedroom
is filled with them.
Ex-spy Mrs Featherby has lost a wall
of her house. Robert has lost his job
literally: the building in which he
used to work has disappeared.
Cassies girlfriend never showed up.
The keys on Marcuss piano have
disappeared, and Delia has lost her
sense of direction. The book jumps
from one character to the next and
some of their lives intertwine. Its
New Zealand-born Janinas first
novel shes one to watch.
Sandra Parmee
PHOYOGRAPHS: SUPPLIED
Saving Grace
By Jane Green
(St Martins Press)
The Love Song of Miss

Queenie Hennessy
By Rachel Joyce
(Doubleday)
Zemindar
By Valerie Fitzgerald
(Head of Zeus)
E-BOOK
OF THE
MONTH
Everyone thinks that

Grace Chapman has
the perfect life: a rich
and famous husband,
a beautiful house, a
wonderful daughter,
and everything she
could ever dream of.
But things arent quite as they seem.
Her marriage is only just surviving,
thanks to the help of husband Teds
efficient assistant Ellen. When Ellen
has to leave, Grace hurriedly hires
a new assistant, but she soon begins
to suspect that Beth is not who she
professes to be. Is she going crazy or
is Beth plotting against her? Things
soon take a turn for the worse, and in
order to make them right again,
Grace needs to reveal the dark secret
that she has kept from everyone
including her husband. A gripping,
emotional book that youll find hard
to put down.
The Unlikely
Pilgrimage of Harold
Fry was about the
walking; this sequel
of sorts is about the
waiting. The point of
Harolds long walk
up the length of
England (on the strength of a whim)
was to see his old friend Queenie.
Shed left suddenly, many years
before, without explanation and he
hadnt heard from her until her letter
telling him she was dying. Joyce now
completes the picture from Queenies
perspective. Shes in a hospice and
is waiting for Harold to reach her.
Will he make it in time? At the
suggestion of a carer, she writes to
Harold in short bursts whenever she
has the strength. Depressing stuff?
Youd think so, but though the story
is really sad, its uplifting too.
Laura Hewitt accompanies her newlywed

cousin Emily and
Emilys husband
Charles to India.
During their travels
there they meet many
colourful characters,
including Charless half-brother,
Oliver Erskine. He is a zemindar,
or land owner, and he invites them
to stay at his beautiful estate,
Hassanganj. Things soon heat up
between Oliver and Laura but their
affair is interrupted when the Sepoy
rebel against the British. Luckily the
group escapes Hassanganj before the
rebels reach it. They end up in
Lucknow, where they are separated
from Oliver and caught in a siege.
Will they ever see Oliver again? And
how will they survive the horror of
what lies ahead? This is a beautifully
told story of love and loss.
Claire Lister
Anna Rich
Anita Sonntag
10:04
By Ben Lerner
(Faber & Faber)
The Incarnations
By Susan Barker
(Doubleday)
Narrator Ben has

received an advance
for his second novel
(which turns out to
be 10:04) after his
first was well
received (as Lerners
debut Leaving the
Atocha Station was). Its clearly an
echo of Lerners own career. 10:04
was the time on the clock as it was
struck by lightning in the film Back
to the Future, the point at which
Martys time travels began. Time is
similarly fluid in 10:04, and the story
takes detours via cardiology, meteorology, pigeons and artificial insemination. There are characters that
could be the basis of a novel themselves, such as the girlfriend who
faked cancer by starving herself.
Dont let any of this put you off. Ben
Lerner can write; this is a great novel.
Beijing taxi driver

Wang is happily
married to Yida and
adores his daughter.
But his soul is slowly
withering, possibly
due to a growing
sense of Yidas discontent, his own difficult upbringing
and his mind-numbing job. One day
a letter addressed to him is left in his
taxi. The writer claims to be Wangs
soulmate and companion through
tumultuous reincarnations across
centuries a violent personal history
stretching from the Tang Dynasty to
Maos Cultural Revolution. Wang is
spooked, the police wont help him,
and the letters keep coming
Barkers movingly lyrical, thoughtprovoking novel on how history
leaves its mark on an individuals life
will have you pondering immensities.
TWEET
TWEET!
Erla Rabe
Sameena Amien
We were thrilled to discover that

some of our favourite authors have
active Twitter accounts. Their
witticisms and commentary keep
us going in between books. Check
them out on the Twitter-sphere.
Jojo Moyes (@jojomoyes)
There are many reasons I hope my
husband doesnt die, but the fact that
all the technology in my house is now
beyond me is quite a big one.
Making myself cry writing. Always such
a weirdly satisfying part of this job.
Alexander McCall Smith
(@McCallSmith)
In Atlanta, Georgia, a reader makes
the helpful remark, You know, I think
youll be much more appreciated
posthumously.
Stephen King (@StephenKing)
On Twitter at last, and cant think of
a thing to say. Some writer I turned
out to be.
in your
Home
BY LIESL ROBERTSON
INTO THE WOODS

1. DOME 500 PENDANT LIGHT (R3192)
MINIMA 2. WOODEN SPOON SET (R120)
MONO SHOP 3. SITTING TABLE LAMP
(R1199) ESQUE 4. LAMELLAE FRUIT BOWL
(R1199) RE-FINED 5. BA BA SHEEP HOOK
WHITE (R127) TINTOWN @ SPREE
6. HEXAGON SHELVES (R629 FOR SET
OF 3) B&K DESIGN AND DECOR @
SUPERBALIST 7. LATTICE LANTERN (R250)
WOOLWORTHS 8. LARGE EISH LAMP MID
BROWN (R160) DECORATIVE DETAILS
@ SPREE 9. ESPRESSO CUP (R200)
LOVE MILO @ SPREE 10. IPHONE 5/5S
MOON METAL CHERRYWOOD COVER
(R349) HOUDT AT IFIX 11. WOODEN TRAY
(R850) WOOLWORTHS 12. SQUAREFOSSIL
COFFEE TABLE (R4999) @HOME
13. HEART STORAGE BOX BROWN
(R270) SANTOS @ SPREE 14. MODERN
HEXAGON MIRROR (R110) @HOME
15. SPICE SWIVEL (R275) WOOLWORTHS
16. OLIVE WOOD BOARD WITH MEZZALUNA (R299) WOOLWORTHS 17. TOASTY
BREAD BOARDS (R160 FOR SET OF 2)
ROYAL SIMPLE SHEEP @ WE HEART THIS
fyi
We did the homework for you! This month

we found some beautiful natural wood
pieces and figured out how to create more
space without adding any square metres.
4
5
6
7
16
This handy board is
made from sustainably
sourced olive wood,
a hardy, hygienic and
non-porous wood
containing high levels
of natural oils that
curbthe absorption
of odours, germs or
stains from food.
10
8
17
14
11
13
15
12
PICK
of the
MONTH
Zana
magazine rack
SWISS CROSS COPPER

MAGAZINE RACK
(R1480) ZANA
We love this Scandi-inspired magazine

rack by local creative brand Zana. Its
made from 100% cotton hand-screenprinted fabric and 22mm copper piping,
and the pattern is inspired by the Swiss
cross. We thought it would be a fun
geometric pattern that you could introduce into your home, one that we had not
yet seen in South Africa, says co-owner
and creative head Robyn Britz.
PHOTOGRAPHS: SUPPLIED, THINKSTOCK
TIP: The copper will discolour and tarnish

over time, so keep it looking shiny and new by
polishing it with Brasso from time to time. Just
take care not to get polish on the fabric!
TRICKS
TO MAKE A SMALL
SPACE SEEM BIGGER
Is your home feeling a bit cluttered and claustrophobic? You dont

need a lot of space to make it feel spacious its all about lighting,
choosing the right colours and making every nook count.
1. Mirror, mirror
This is an oldie but a goodie:

mirrors are the quickest, easiest
way to make a space look bigger
than it actually is they make
walls seem less imposing and
solid, and they reflect light to help
brighten up dark corners. Not sure
where to hang them? Choose a
spot where its naturally dark.
2. Furniture finds
Making a small space work is all

about finding clever solutions
think hollow ottomans for extra
storage space, or anything that
can be folded away or stacked.
3. Lighten up
Instead of having just one overhead hanging light, add varied

lighting elements to other parts
of the room. Secondly, wash your
windows! Nothing opens up a room
like natural light.
4. Paint trick
A light colour palette will help to

expand a space, so go for soft,
muted tones on the walls. Steer
clear of pure white though it can
have a cold effect. For the ceiling,
go for a dark colour this creates
depth and draws the eye up, making the ceiling appear higher.
5. Trick
the eye
Floor-toceiling
bookcases
and long drapes will draw the eye
up, making ceilings look higher,
while a striped floor or glass table
give the appearance of floor space.
Sofas and armchairs that are
raised on legs also help create a
sense of space.
6. Breathing room
Using every single bit of shelf

space can make the room feel very
busy. Instead, leave some empty
space on shelves and bookcases,

and keep all your surfaces clear of
day-to-day clutter. Remember: not
every wall needs art and not every
couch needs a coffee table.
7. Bigger is better
Everything doesnt need to be

space-saving or teeny-tiny an
oversized hanging light or a statement armchair will make more of
an impact than lots of small pieces.
BY JUSTINE KIGGEN
PHOTOGRAPHS ANL VAN DER MERWE
in your
Easter is about so much

more than chocolate eggs.
Try our delicious Easter bakes.
Kitchen
What is a simnel cake? 1
Simnel cake is a light fruitcake made to

celebrate Easter. Its topped with a layer
of marzipan and 11 marzipan balls that
symbolise the 12 apostles (excluding
Judas, of course).
QUICK WAYS
EASTER
TREATS
1. Fun Easter egg

nest cupcakes
Cream 100g butter until pale, beat

in 2 cups icing sugar and 3 tbsp
milk until creamy. Spread icing onto
ready-made cupcakes or pipe on using a star nozzle. Top with pieces of
broken Flake chocolate and speckled
eggs and serve.
2. Chocolate eggs
Melt 300g chocolate in a bowl
over a saucepan of boiling water

(dont let the bottom of the bowl
touch the water), then cool slightly.
Clean and thoroughly dry 2
chocolate egg moulds. Fill moulds
with chocolate. Place in the refrigerator and leave to set. Once firm
enough to handle, carefully pop the
chocolates out of the moulds and
sandwich the egg halves together
with a little extra melted chocolate
to form whole, solid eggs.
3. Fab fruity
orange marmalade
Finely slice 1 large orange. Place

the sliced orange into a small
saucepan with 1 cup water and
boil for 5 minutes. Add 1 cup sugar
and boil for 1015 minutes or
until the mixture has thickened.
Pour marmalade into a sterilised
jar and serve on buttery toast or
hot cross buns.
4. Quick Easter
biscuits
Cream together 100g castor sugar

and 200g softened butter until pale
and fluffy. Add 300g cake flour and
stir to form a dough. Press into a
disc shape, cover with clingfilm
and chill for 30 minutes. Roll out
the dough and cut out Easter shapes.
Bake at 170C for 15 minutes until
lightly browned. Ice as you want.
TRIED THESE
YET?
BEACON
HENS EGGS
RRP R37,99 FOR
162g, AVAILABLE
FROM SELECTED
RETAILERS
Tip
To keep chopping boards

clean, scrub them with a
mixture of 1 tbsp each coarse
salt, bicarb and lemon juice
and rinse with warm water.
WOOLWORTHS MINI HUGO

BUNNY IS AN ADORABLE
EASTER TREAT AVAILABLE
IN EITHER WHITE OR MILK
CHOCOLATE RRP R10,95
EACH, FROM SELECTED
WOOLWORTHS STORES
ALL ABOUT: SHROVE

TUESDAY PANCAKES
Traditionally, Shrove Tuesday symbolises

the beginning of Lent in the Christian calendar, when pancakes were made to use
up the last of the flour, eggs and milk left
in the home before the fast began. Try
this simple recipe: whisk together 1 cup
cake flour, 3 large eggs, 1 cups milk
and 2 tbsp vegetable oil to form a smooth
batter. Lightly oil a frying pan and pour
in enough batter to form a thin, even
pancake. Cook for 1 minute on each side.
Serve pancakes topped with cinnamon
sugar, golden syrup, fresh berries and
a squeeze of lemon.
RHODES JAMS ARE

NOW AVAILABLE
IN CONVENIENT
RESEALABLE 250g
PLASTIC CUPS. RRP
R9,99, AVAILABLE
FROM SELECTED
RETAILERS
TOTALLY
CHOCOLATE BY
ERIC LANLARD
IS THE IDEAL
BOOK FOR ANY
CHOCOHOLIC,
FEATURING OVER
60 DECADENT
CHOCOLATE
RECIPES. RRP
R182, FROM
SELECTED
RETAILERS
THE SENSATIONAL
NEW LE CREUSET
STAINLESS STEEL
COOKWARE IS
BASED ON THE
DESIGN OF THEIR
ICONIC CAST-IRON
CASSEROLES.
NON-STICK FRYING
PAN FROM R1 300
FOR 20cm AND
SAUCEPAN FROM
R1 500 FOR 16cm,
FROM LE CREUSET
STORES
PNP SPECKLED
CANDY COATED
CHOCOLATE EGGS
RRP R34,99 FOR 8,
FROM SELECTED
PICK N PAY STORES
ENJOY EASTER WITH A CHOICE
FROM LINDT NEW GOLD
BUNNY PAW 20g RRP R9,99;
GOLD BUNNY MILK CHOCOLATE
TRAY 50g RRP R34,99;
GOLD BUNNY NEST 150g
RRP R74,99, FROM
SELECTED RETAILERS
SEDGWICKS OLD
BROWN SHERRY IS
THE PERFECT TIPPLE
ON A CHILLY NIGHT.
R32,99 FOR 750ml,
FROM SELECTED
RETAILERS
*Prices correct at time of going to print; may vary from store to store.
in your
These tips will help

your plants to flourish
in a hanging basket.
Garden
BY CARYN MCARTHY
NICE IDEA I recently visited the East Head Cafe at Knysna Heads
and loved what theyd done with old enamel kettles,

teapots and jugs. Its a striking, effective way of putting
rusty old junk to use. The restaurant itself is a must-visit
when youre next in Knysna. Tel: 0044 384 0933
Scratch
around in your
cupboards
and youll be
amazed at
what could be
used as a plant
holder. This
rusty scale
serves as a
perfect base
for these cacti.
expert advice
Richard Morris,
manager of
Starke Ayres
in Mowbray,
explains why
you shouldnt
use ordinary
potting soil for
your hanging
basket, and
tells us what
to use instead.
Choosing the appropriate soil can be

a tricky business. Some are too sandy,
or contain too much clay, and some
heavier or indoor mixes with higher
bark content render moisture retention
in a windy or sunny courtyard impossible.
I suggest selecting the soil according to
your location, which, in most cases,
would be a well-sieved uniform medium
(your local garden centre can help
here). Then, depending on your planters
position and the plants you plan to use,
balance or improve the soil medium by
adding peat moss, coco peat, pearlite of
vermiculite or, for cascading succulents,
river sand.
NOTE:
WE USED
MASTER
SUPERMIX FOR
OUR HANGING
BASKET
PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE, SUPPLIED
TIP
HOW TO PLANT
a miniature kitchen
garden hanging basket
A miniature veggie garden hanging outside your kitchen makes it easy to add
wonderful flavours to your salads, stews
and soups. Its simple to put together
just follow our easy step-by-step directions.
1
STEP ONE
Choose a sturdy basket
that will stand up to the
elements. Make sure its
galvanised to prevent
rusting down the line.
STEP TWO
Cut out a circle from a black
refuse bag, using the basket
as a stencil just make sure
its not too small. Line the
base of your basket with the
plastic; this is to prevent
your water pouring out of
the bottom when you water.
STEP THREE
Tip in your master supermix soil (see our expert
A TEASPOON OF
STOCKOSORB
IN A GLASS OF
WATER TURNS
THE WATER
TO A GEL-LIKE
CONSISTENCY.
THIS KEEPS
MOISTURE IN.
advice opposite), then add

a teaspoon of Stockosorb.
This product provides a
continuously available water
reservoir in the root zone,
where the plant needs it. Its
a similar concept to a nappy:
when its wet, the nappy
swells up as it absorbs the
moisture. Here, the granules
absorb the water, keeping
the root area moist.
STEP FOUR
Now your basket is ready
for planting. We chose a
variety of miniature veggies
and herbs: bronze fennel,
sage, butter lettuce, cos
lettuce, cascading rosemary,
strawberries, red and green
spinach. Because they are
miniature, they dont take
over too much and with
constant trimming and
picking the basket remains
pretty well stocked. Make
sure you water it every day.
ay!
giveaw
STARKE AYRES IS
GIVING AWAY 3 KITCHEN
HANGING BASKETS TO
THE VALUE OF R350 EACH!
HOW TO ENTER: SMS the

keyword BASKET, along
with your full name, physical
or postal address and email
address to 33136. SMSes
cost R1,50. Free SMSes
dont apply.
CLOSING DATE:
30 April 2015.
For rules of the
giveaway,
see page
145.
COMPILED BY JANINE NORTJ pets@fairlady.com
your
Pets
From ruffled feathers and lighthouse

toys, to rescued critters and more!
Ask Linda van der Poel
DipCABT (NOCN UK) Cert CABT
Animal behaviourist and positive
reinforcement trainer
Birds of a
feather
FDB
Why is our Labrador such a

mischievous dog? Hes already six
years old but theres nothing he doesnt
destroy. He runs daily, has a Jack Russell
companion, and is fed vet food, but hes still
extremely naughty! What can we do?
FEATHER DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR (FDB) is any form of selfinflicted feather damage in birds. How do you know your feathery friend
is engaging in FDB? The manner in which they damage their feathers
varies look for anything from tattiness in some feathers, bald spots,
areas where down feathers are visible or missing overlying feathers.
WHAT CAN CAUSE FDB? Common causes range from medical issues
(like malnutrition, infections, system disease, allergies), to management
issues (not enough sleep, bad caging and cage location, for example),
to psychological problems (like over-dependence, threatening children
or other pets, stress in the owners life.)
HOW TO REDUCE FDB IN A FEW EASY STEPS: Once feather plucking
is diagnosed and medical reasons for plucking have been excluded
or treated, a few changes in the birds environment can help.
Make sure its getting enough sleep: it needs a minimum of eight
hours. Interact: sing, read, play games with your bird. Change and
rearrange toys: this keeps interest up. Identify triggers: notice
whether there is a pattern to when your bird plucks itself. Mist/bath
regularly: this induces normal preening behaviour and deters plucking.
Feed new foods: this will interest your bird and occupy its time. Try
offering fun foods like spray millet, and foraging foods to keep it busy.
Avoid stressing your bird: some dont like their plumage stroked but
do enjoy perching on your hand. Dont stroke it on the back: this
simulates mating behaviour and, particularly in cockatoos, increases
hormone levels, which can increase behavioural feather plucking.
Take it for check-ups: visit your avian veterinarian or avian behaviourist.
Linda: I often hear this question about Labradors.

You are providing for most of his needs, but he also
needs mental stimulation. Labradors are a working
breed of dog, and because they were selected for
retrieving, they have a particular need to chew and
carry objects in their mouths or they will selfemploy, often causing damage and getting into
trouble. Supply suitable chewable items butternuts
or other hard veggies that can be safely consumed,
stuffed Kongs, or cow hooves to keep your mouthy
dog busy. Supervise your pets to avoid choking.
Rotate toys to prevent boredom. Use treat dispensing
toys, half-fill a hard plastic childrens pool with water
for your Lab to splash around in, scatter food for
your dog to find in the garden (provided you dont
use pesticides or herbicides) or hide food and treats
and turn it into a game. Find a Positive Reinforcement training school that caters for adult dogs, watch
YouTube tutorials or find books and start training,
because you CAN teach an old dog new tricks!
Linda van der Poel 073 665 0894 Linda@thinkingpets.com
PHOTOGRAPHS: THINKSTOCK, SUPPLIED, FDB: BIRDS OF A FEATHER ARTICLE: DEE HENDRICKX
THIS
MONTH
WE
LOVE...
Float their boat!
The ROGZ Lighthouse will provide priceless interaction between

you and your furry friend get throwing and let him get wet! The
Lighthouse floats and stays upright, making it easy to spot in rough
surf. R102,50 (one size only), available from Vetshops or go to
www.rogz.com for more info.
LITTLE CRITTERS RESCUE CLUB

Lauren Nmer is the founder of the Little Critters Rescue
Club which helps small animals (like rabbits, Guinea pigs
and hamsters) that desperately need rescuing. They
have a safe haven, which includes a beautiful garden
run and luxury accommodation, at her home in Joburg.
She provides all rescues with the veterinary care, rehab,
stimulation, exercise, nutrition, and love they need
to be happy, healthy and ready for adoption. They can
be adopted by anyone who can offer them the quality
of life they deserve, and are rehomed responsibly, with
home inspections and adoption rules. Lauren uses
a Facebook page to educate visitors on the negative
effects of breeding, to promote critter care and
adoption as well as to encourage sterilisation.
For more info, contact Lauren on 072 731 7397,
lauren.namer@iburst.co.za or www.facebook.com/
LittleCritters
RescueClub.
ADOPT
DONT
SHOP!
test house
TEST HOUSE AND ONLINE EDITOR TASNEEM LARNEY testhouse@fairlady.com
Best buys
How do you
decide on the the
right mattress?
Before facing
those rows
of mattresses
in the bed
shop, use our
great mattress
guide to avoid
confusion.
our guide
to buying
MATTRESSES
IS IT TIME TO BUY A NEW
MATTRESS?
Your mattress can still feel comfortable
long after it has lost its ability to provide
your body with the comfort and support
it needs. A mattress should be replaced
after about 710 years even if it has a
lifetime guarantee. If you feel any lumps
when you lie down, its time for a new
one. Other signs are creaks when you or
your partner rolls over, or waking up with
aches and pains that last all day.
HOW TO DECIDE ON THE

BEST MATTRESS FOR YOU
Dont buy online. Its important to test
a mattress before you buy.
Lie down Rest on the mattress in the

shop for at least 15 minutes. Thats the
only way you can decide whether it feels
comfortable to you. Spend at least five
minutes on each side and on your back
(or your stomach, if you sleep like that).
What do you and your partner
weigh? Most manufacturers classify
mattresses based on the load they are
going to carry. Some foam mattresses
make changing positions difficult because
of the way they conform to the body.
Does the mattress support you
both without the lighter one rolling
towards the centre? Do you have
enough space? We toss and turn more
than youd think around 4060 times
a night. Make sure you both have

enough room to move around
comfortably without disturbing one
another. If one of you is a restless
sleeper, an innerspring mattress with
pocketed coils, or memory foam will
keep the movements from rippling
beyond that side of the bed.
Lying on your back, your hand
should be able to slide easily between
the mattress and the small of your back.
If theres a large gap and your hand goes
in too easily, the mattress is too hard. If
you cant slide your hand in between,
then the mattress is a little soft.
Roll over. If it takes effort, the mattress
is too soft, but if it feels hard on your
I suffer from back pain what do I need to look out for?
shoulders and hips then it is too firm.

Does the mattress keep your spine
in the S-curve that characterises good
posture? It should allow your spine to
assume the same curve when you lie
down as when youre standing.
IF YOU SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE:
Youll need sufficient support at your
heaviest points (shoulders and hips),
which exert the most pressure while
offering support at the waist. Memory
foam or a mattress with a padded top
relieves pressure, while a very firm
mattress offers the least relief. Innerspring mattresses tend to give more
pressure relief than foam ones.
IF YOU SLEEP ON YOUR STOMACH:
A firm top surface (too soft, and youll
sink into it, which would have a suffocating effect) with a dense innerspring is a
good choice.
IF YOU SLEEP ON YOUR BACK:
You need a supportive material for your
lower back, but it should have some give
to keep other parts of your spine
correctly aligned.
DONT LET PRICE AND LOOKS

INFLUENCE YOUR CHOICE
(TOO MUCH)
A comfort test is the most
important consideration. Start with
the most expensive bed you can afford
and move down the range until you find
the most comfortable one.
EXAMINE THE MATTRESS

Look at details like the coil size
and density of an innerspring
mattress, and the foam density and size
of ventilation holes on a foam mattress.
If youre after a bit of bounce, then
innerspring mattresses are best for you.
The gauge of the metal coils range from
12 (thick and firm) to 18 (thin and most
compressible). Those who weigh more
usually prefer thicker gauges. Interconnected coils tend to be more durable
which becomes more important as
weight increases. On the other hand,
individual pocketed coils reduce the effect
of one persons movement on the other.
Innerspring mattresses usually have a
fibrefill or foam layer covered in quilting.
But dont base your choice on this; it will
compress over time; go for a firmer, well-
Orthopaedic surgeons recommend

a mattress of medium firmness if
you suffer from back or neck pain.
Choose one with individual
pocketed coils or springs for good
support. If you prefer foam, make
sure it doesnt sag and that it
allows you to lie in a comfortable
position for your spine.
To check whether your mattress is
the cause of your back pain, note
when you get the pain. Some pain
is most likely related to sleeping
posture, your bed or your pillow.
The worst position to sleep in is on
your stomach. Because our beds
are relatively soft, the lordosis or
quilted mattress, then cover with a mattress pad or feather bed. For inner-spring
mattresses, consider a matching base.
If you prefer a firm mattress, go for
a layered foam mattress these dont
have much give beyond the top layer.
Ask for the specs on foam density and
thickness the greater the depth, the
more youll sink; the less dense the
foam, the poorer the quality.
IS IT REVERSIBLE?
Both the surfaces should be bearing
surfaces. This allows you to turn the
mattress when necessary. Some even
come with two handles, which is handy.
WHAT SORT OF GUARANTEE

IS OFFERED?
A service warranty which is offered
for a longer period than a guarantee is
offered by the manufacturer, not the
retailer. If a factory fault occurs within
your guarantee period, the manufacturer
repairs or replaces the item at their
discretion (there might be a delivery
charge involved). Generally, within the
guarantee period there is no charge if
there is a factory fault, but within the
service warranty period there is a charge.
Insist on a no-substitutions clause in the
sales agreement, in case the bed youve
ordered is out of stock. When delivered,
check for stains and damages. Insist on
a replacement if youre not happy.
KNOW THE LINGO

TICKING is the outermost layer
and it makes a big difference to comfort.
The stitching is important; it binds the
ticking to the top padding, which affects
how the mattress feels. A large quilt
arch in your lower back is increased

in this position, causing compression.
Also, you have to turn your head to
one side to breathe so your neck is
rotated, causing one side to be
compressed and the other elongated.
Its best to sleep in a neutral spine
position. Neutral spine refers to the
natural curvature of the spine.
Sleeping on your side is best as it
helps to maintain the optimal neutral
spine, particularly if you have a good
pillow and bed. If you lie on your
back, put pillows under your knees
as this helps flatten out the lumbar
lordosis and maintain neutral spine.
See our feature on backache on page 76.
pattern provides a deep, cushioned

feel; a smaller pattern tends to feel
firmer.
TOP PADDING is usually polyurethane
foam, with or without polyester batting,
which provides a soft feel and helps to
dissipate perspiration.
COILS provide the main support in a
conventional innerspring mattress.
Heavier-gauge coils provide a stiffer
suspension, and lighter-gauge coils feel
springier. Some manufacturers design
the edges of the mattress with more
closely spaced coils, slabs of stiff foam,
or thicker wire. Stiffer edges keep you
from feeling as though youll roll off, and
they provide sturdier edges.
BOX SPRING Generally expensive, it is
just a wood frame enclosing stiff wire.
Companies often pair the same box
spring, or foundation, with mattresses in
various price ranges, so you may save
by buying a higher priced mattress with
a lower-priced foundation. If you buy an
extra-thick mattress, consider pairing it
with a low-profile box spring to reduce
height. Box springs just support the
mattress; they arent springy.
HOW TO CARE FOR YOUR BED

Use a mattress protector to protect
your investment and keep it hygienic.
Air your mattress occasionally and
vacuum regularly.
Rotate the mattress counterclockwise (head-to-toe) every two weeks
for the first three months and thereafter,
every month. The upholstery layers are
designed to compress with use, and the
area the body weight is concentrated on
will be compressed most. Rotation varies
the areas of compression.
HOW WE TESTED
QUILTED: The protectors were tested by an independent laboratory for: dimensional stability (shrinkage*) after washing,
tensile strength** and absorbency. We also assessed fit, and staining of liquids (tea, coffee and juice) on the fabric.
WATERPROOF: These were tested for: dimensional stability after washing (shrinkage*), water resistance, comfort and fit.
*All the protectors met the standard (SABS approved) percentage in our tests, but ratings reflect highest and lowest shrinkage
percentages when we compared the results. ** Tensile strength is the resistance to breaking under tension.
MATTRESS PROTECTORS
QUILTED
GRANNY GOOSE LINEN RANGE
About: R430 (Single), R635 (Double) and R685 (Queen)

from www.grannygoose.com or 0860-388387
Fabric: 100% cotton percale, 200 thread
count.
This protector is a good thickness, and
the cotton fabric is soft and breathable,
providing excellent comfort. Performance
is excellent minimal shrinkage after
multiple washes, high tensile strength.
Absorbency was good; liquids didnt seep
through to the underside. In our staining
tests, marks were more apparent than in
others. An excellent, if expensive, choice.
CONSUMER
BEST BUY
2015
LOADS OF LIVING LUXURY

Fabric: 100% polycotton
A good protector well
constructed with an easy fit, and
also one of the best performers in
our shrinkage test. It has good
tensile strength and absorption was
adequate. Most of the deep stains
reduced well in our tests but
remained slightly visible after
washing. A good allround performer
which is also reasonably priced.
@HOME
SHEET STREET PREMIER LINE
Fabric: Filler 100% polyester; Outer 70% polyester/30% cotton

A strong protector with high tensile strength and good
absorbency water resistance was better than most tested.
This protector shrunk a moderate amount after washing
compared to some of the
others, but was still within the
standard requirements. Most
of the stains washed out with
ease; although they remained
very slightly visible, this was to
an acceptable degree. A good
performer.
Fabric: Top cover 100% polyester; Filling 100% polyester;

Bottom cover 100% polypropylene
An affordable, budget-friendly buy.
Performance was impressive in our
shrinkage test, there was little shrinkage
and hardly any change in the product after
multiple washes. Tensile strength was
adequate, although not as strong as some
of the others tested. Absorbency was fair
in our tests, and most stains removed
easily. A cost-effective, practical choice.
BOARDMANS MP2 COMFY
PROTECT-A-BED
Fabric: Inner 100% polyester; Outer 100% polyester

A comfortable and inexpensive mattress protector.
Performance was adequate in most of our tests; there was
noticeable shrinkage after washing
compared to some others tested,
but this was acceptable and well
within standard requirements.
Tensile strength was also not as high
compared to some others, though
fair. Absorbency proved to be good.
None of the stains was apparent in
our tests after washing an
excellent result.
Fabric: Main panel 100% cotton; Lining 100% polyurethane

laminate; Filling 95% cotton/ 5% polyester; Skirt 100% polyester
This protector is also waterproof setting it apart from the
others in this category and adding value. The fabric feels soft
and breathable, providing optimum
comfort. Tensile strength was
acceptable not as high as some of
the top rated ones tested. We noticed
slight shrinkage in our tests, but this
was still within the required standards.
Waterproofing was good; no liquid
seeped to the underside. Deep stains
were still evident after washing.
About: R219,95 (Single), R299,95 (Double) and R339,95

(Queen)
About R698 (Single), R895 (Double) and R978 (Queen)

from The Bed Centre
testhouse.fairlady.com
Go online for the complete survey with all the other products we tested.
WATERPROOF
PROTECT-A-BED
CONSUMER
BEST BUY
2015

from The Bed Centre
Fabric: Main panel 80% cotton/ 20% polyester; Skirt 100%
polyester; Lining 100% polyurethane laminate
Effective performance and an
excellent buy, if a bit pricey. It
excelled in our shrinkage test.
Waterproofing is very good; it
repelled liquids and protected the
mattress well. The fabric is soft and
breathable, and not noisy, making it
optimally comfortable. Good
construction; easy to put on and
take off, with a snug fit.

Fabric: Pile 100% cotton; Base 100% polyester; Backing
polyurethane This protector showed minimal shrinkage in
our tests after numerous washes. Great waterproofing; the
bedding effectively kept liquid from
seeping through to the underside.
The cut is not undersized and
provides a good fit with the mattress.
The stretchiness made it easy to put
on and take off the mattress. The
fabric was fairly comfortable to sleep
on, and not noisy.
SHEET STREET
WHITE HOUSE
Fabric: 20% polyester, 80% cotton with a polyurethane lining

We were impressed with the shrinkage performance, which
was one of the best in this category
we found after numerous washes and
dries, there was little change or
shrinkage. The fabric felt soft and
comfortable, and not firm to sleep on.
We found the cut a bit small
compared to some of the others,
making it a bit more awkward to get
a snug fit. Water resistance was fairly
good in our tests. Its affordability
makes this a good budget buy.
Fabric: 100% cotton; base polyurethane.

This protector provided an excellent fit it is well-made and the
cut is perfect, making it easy to put on
and take off. The fabric felt soft and
breathable, and not stiff, making it very
comfy to sleep on. Waterproofing was
very good in our tests. We found this
protector shrunk a moderate amount
after washing compared to some of the
others but it was still acceptable and
within the required standards. A good
all-rounder with an excellent fit.
PHOTOGRAPHS: ANL VAN DER MERWE, GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES
WOOLWORTHS
BOARDMANS MP3 SOFT TOUCH
R269,95 (Single), R339,95 (Double), R399,95 (Queen)

Fabric: 50% cotton, 50% polyester; Backing polyurethane
This mattress protector fits on the mattress with ease
it is well-made and easy to put on and take off. In our tests,
it prevented the water from soaking through, but we still felt
a slight dampness compared to some of
the others we tested. Shrinkage was
acceptable in our tests. A comfortable
protector with a good fit and it is
reasonably priced.
About R269,95 (Single), R339,95 (Double) and R359,95

(Queen) from www.whsa.co.za
WHY A MATTRESS PROTECTOR?

It keeps the mattress clean and dry. It prevents staining, which
increases the lifespan of the mattress. It provides extra comfort
and support. Gives some protection against bed bugs; dust mites.
TYPES OF PROTECTORS
COTTON: Firm, dense feeling; often hypoallergenic. Woven fabrics

guard against dust mites and allergens.
POLYESTER: Inexpensive; simple polycotton blends are popular.
Polyester-polypropylene blends with vinyl good for waterproofing.
WATERPROOF: Soft towelling feel; protection from bed wetting,
bodily fluids, pets and perspiration.
TIPS: The higher the thread count, the more luxurious the feel.
For the best protection, look for a protector with a pore size of
eight microns or less. If you suffer from allergies or sensitivities to
certain fabrics, buy a hypoallergenic one. Look for a protector
that is breathable and machine washable. Measure the width of
the mattress and buy a cover a bit bigger than your mattress.
All FAIRLADY Consumer Test House products are tested in the manner in which a regular consumer would use these items, in order to approximate our readers experience as closely as
possible. Consumer Test House products are not tested by the SABS, the CSIR or any other South African scientific testing body unless otherwise stated. Prices correct at time of going to print.
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MegaXword
COMPILED BY CHRISTINE LOVATT
A Fountain in
France by Marita
van der Vyver
This book will be
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expatriates all
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MegaXword No 106
The Girl on the

Train by Paula
Hawkins
This gripping
psychological
thriller evokes
comparisons
with Gone Girl
by Gillian Flynn.
Sweet by
Sam Linsell
Sam Linsell
presents you
with an array
of sweet temptations that
will make you
feel like a
sugar-crazed
kid again.
How to enter
Send your completed crossword, with your name, postal or
physical and email address and telephone number, to FAIRLADY
MegaXword No 106, Box 7183, Roggebaai 8012 to reach us by
30 April 2015. The editors decision is final and no correspondence
will be entered into. Prize may not be converted to cash. Staff
members of Penguin Random House South Africa and Media24,
as well as their advertisers, PR and digital agencies and their
immediate family members, may not enter. Photocopies are not
allowed. CLOSING DATE: 30 April 2015. For rules, see page 145.
COMPILED BY LOVATTS CROSSWORDS WWW. LOVATTS. COM. AU
The senders
of the first 4
correct MegaXword entries
drawn will each
win a Penguin
Random House
South Africa
book hamper
valued at R755!
1. Cleanser
5. Magazine
pin-ups
11. Clowns ball skill
15. Cry of discovery
16. Welcoming
garland
17. Set off
19. Loose change
21. Evaluate
23. Responds
25. Say
27. Film audience
28. Colourless fluid
30. Piquancy
31. Takes 40 winks
32. Fluctuated (2-4)
33. Bloodsucking
insect
34. Appreciate
35. Slowcoach
36. Dog, Great ...
38. Snow-runners
40. Stew, ... bucco
42. Spheres
44. Please reply
(1,1,1,1)
45. Skin sensor
46. The N of NB
48. Cummerbunds
49. Push for
50. Rim
51. Ready (3,3)
52. Hindu dress
53. Designer,
Christian ...
54. Wind instrument
55. Gulf War nation
56. Foresight
58. Bookkeeper
59. To no avail (2,4)
61. Insurrectionist
63. Boxing legend,
Muhammad ...
64. ... or nothing
65. Stares lascivi-
ously at
67. Pounced
69. Neck and neck
71. Riled
73. French farewell
74. Golf hole scores
76. Power point
78. Scientist, Sir ...
Newton
80. Bobs head
82. Early harp
83. Submarine
missile
85. Hunter
89. Finances in
advance
91. Dissimilar to
93. Non-government
body (1,1,1)
94. Excused
96. Applause
98. Cardiac monitor
(1,1,1)
99. Nought
100. Torontos
province
102. Version
103. Essence
104. Ask questions
105. Common people,
... polloi
106. Egg cells
107. Abuts
108. Addle
110. Self-regard
112. Embezzled
114. Slant
117. Peculiar
120. Asthma sufferers
puffer
123. Close
125. Fertiliser
ingredient
127. Hormone organ
128. Unjust
131. Ornate
133. Avoided, ... away
from
134. Inlaid piece
135. Connect to the
internet (3,2)
136. Sanctuaries
137. Snaking dance
140. Negotiable (1,1,1)
141. Took food
142. Nigerian city
145. Anonymous
(heroes)
147. Straggler (4-5)
148. Abided by (rules)
150. Squash (bug)
151. Raw minerals
152. Assistant
153. Radio knob
154. Festival
156. Roman gown
158. Samsons source
of strength
160. Engraver
162. Type of sword
163. Female voices
164. Sicilian volcano
165. Tick over (of
engine)
166. Knitting stitch
167. Recompensed
168. Soft drink
170. Succinct
172. Wanderings
173. Mongolian desert

174. Hammered (in)
177. Clock bird
179. Washstand jug
180. Pulls
182. Oddity
183. S American
ranges
185. Mark of disgrace
187. Assignation
188. School tables
189. Down Under
native
191. See next page
(1,1,1)
192. Le or La in
French
193. Smooth (of
transition)
194. Seizes (property)
195. Carved image
69. Gaze lustfully

70. Traditional
wisdom
72. Compulsive
thieves
73. Sanctioning
75. Wine, ...
spumante
77. Model, ...
Macpherson
79. Jointly promoted
81. Anti-tank weapon
(1,1,1)
84. Fighting terrier
(3,4)
85. Cuts first teeth
86. More furious
87. Floating wharf
88. Issue (CD)
90. Mechanical piano
92. Composer,
Andrew ...
Webber
95. Highway inn
97. Meddle, dip an ...
in
101. Bushranger, ...
Kelly
109. Mend (socks)
111. Jolly
113. Musical work
115. Sequence (of
events)
116. From Calcutta
118. Labour
119. Mums mum
121. Harass
DOWN
1. Tucked
2. Chest bone
3. Writing blots (3,6)
4. Consider
5. Witchs laugh
6. Unworldly
7. Damask blooms
8. Fuddy-duddy
9. Awful
10. Slid violently
11. Abandon
12. Talkative
13. International
Olympic
Committee
(1,1,1)
14. Chatterboxes
18. Militant
20. Biting
22. Stirred up
(interest)
24. Insulting
26. Killed (VIP)
29. Versatility
37. Make fizzy
38. Gushing out
39. Leakages
40. Employs to
excess
41. Obsessed,
having a ... mind
(3-5)
43. Watch out!
44. Complete again
47. Actor, ... Rickman
57. Mistreat (3-3)
60. Antiseptic
solution
62. Thorny shrub
66. Rainforest vine
68. Declarations
122. Fibbing
124. Signing name
126. Azalea plant
129. Sound of walking
130. Attendance
check (4,4)
131. Cutlet (4,4)
132. Treatment lamp
light
138. Ahead
139. Instinct (3,7)
143. Letter recipients
144. Approved
146. Crotchet or
minim
149. Obsolete VCR
format
155. Clarify
157. Prunes & weeds
159. Routinely (2,1,4)
161. Kitbag
165. Eats
169. Blow-up mat-
tresses (3,4)
171. Purgative, ... oil
172. Wedding
speeches
175. Put by (3,2)
176. Loves foolishly,
... on
177. Obtain by
begging
178. Bladders
181. Current units
184. Single combat
186. Irish group (1,1,1)
190. He, ... or it
Solution to MegaXword No 104

D
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Solution to No 106 will be in the June 2015 issue
ACROSS
106
Brainteaser No 105
COMPILED BY LOVATTS CROSSWORDS WWW. LOVATTS. COM. AU
Brainteaser
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FAIRLADY Brainteaser No 105, Box 7183,
Roggebaai 8012 to reach us by 30 April
2015. The editors decision is final and
no correspondence will be entered into.
Prize may not be converted to cash. Staff
members of Esse and Media24, as well as
their advertisers, PR and digital agencies
and their immediate family members, may
not enter. Photocopies are not allowed.
CLOSING DATE: 30 April 2015. For the
rules of the competition, turn to page 145.
PHOTOGRAPHS: SUPPLIED
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Send your completed crossword, with
WORTH R1 030 EACH!
your name postal or physical and email
ACROSS
55. Swiss capital

56. Crumbly Greek cheese
57. Machine-design
specialists
60. Wins
65. Render defenceless
66. Quite taken (with)
68. Exploit
69. Go downhill
71. Sips
72. Naive person, ... in
the woods
73. Creatures
76. Gentle stroke
78. Disrobe
83. Held for trial, on ...
85. Early warning
88. Revealed
90. Melt
91. Snow monster
92. Regrettably
93. Hyphen
96. Chair & ...
97. Jury
98. Fitness club
99. UK native
100. Writing-fluid pot
101. Huge
102. Pituitary or adrenal
103. Cults
105. Occasion
107. Dog restraint
108. Expression of disgust
1. Set into surface

4. Fed on pasture
7. SA hero, ... Mandela
10. Combined
13. Moaned
15. Most mischievous
17. Football arbiters
19. SE English county
21. Can, is ... to
23. Gaudier
25. Core-group members
28. Possible
29. Thin candles
30. Barack Obamas
nation (1,1,1)
32. Reconfigure
36. TV frequency (1,1,1)
37. Matter of concern
38. Lead-in
40. Internet post
42. Edit (text)
44. Sadistic Roman
emperor
45. Natural seasoning
(3,4)
46. Sergeants, Senior ...
(1,1,2)
47. Porridge flake
49. Florida resort
51. Share transaction
53. Irelands ... Fein
54. Launder
110. Ripened
114. City, ... Paulo
116. Secure (a deal)
117. Skillet
119. Doggedness
122. Again (4,4)
125. Suspended
127. Ice cream server
130. Journalism
131. Provoke
132. Container
133. Summarises
134. Hardest to find
135. Add-on building
136. Lumpy body growth
DOWN
Solution to Brainteaser No 103

H O A
O
T
R D
G
E
N C U
L
S
Solution to No 105 will be in the June 2015 issue
E
T
O O
G A
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N D
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U R
G R
O S
U
P O N
A G E
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C H
M E
L
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M A
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M A
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S O S
I
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D O B
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C H
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N G
R
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U N W
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N G
N G
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P O E
N D
A
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G R
S O M
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H O W T
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A M A
B
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H O R R O R
N O S
M E
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A
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N G A G E
1. Congenital
2. Circle parts
3. Dents in cheek
4. Strong winds
5. Innocence excuse
6. Defective rounds of
ammunition
7. Cats lives
8. Epics
9. Took notice of
10. Bring to light
11. Tiny amount
12. Puts off
14. Weird
16. Discontinuing
18. Paving slabs
20. Voyage
22. Honeycomb
harvesters
23. Flowing smoothly
24. Cease
26. Imaginative plan
27. Least risky
31. Aviator
32. Brightest (future)
33. Scientifically examine
34. Sloping typeface
style
35. Stinging weeds
36. Open sores
37. Favours owed (1,1,2)
39. Squeaks and rattles
41. Actually
43. Delayed
48. Records
50. Interrupting cough
105
52. Abdominal muscles

54. Weaklings
58. Grille
59. Brazils ... Janeiro
(3,2)
61. Not censored
62. Prompted (actor)
63. Deadly sins number
64. Recover from
drinking bout, ... up
65. Discussing
67. Bass brass
instrument
69. Merchandise
70. Redress
74. Adjustment
75. Gyrate
77. Disbelief in deities
79. January celebration
(3,4)
80. Crushed
81. Quick look-over
82. Dignified
84. Throat protrusion
(41,5)
85. Sexual deviation
86. Mock playfully
87. Power point
89. Hotel employees
94. X-Men actor, ...
Jackman
95. Kidnap
98. In profusion
104. Well-groomed
106. Dublin republic
109. Run-down
neighbourhoods
111. Yawning gulf
112. A law ... yourself
113. Flee with lover
115. Ethiopian or Kenyan
116. Fellow beneficiary
118. Snuggle closely
120. Bad temper
121. Personal
123. French pancake
124. 1 000 mm
126. Mideast region, ...
Strip
128. Euro unit
129. Black & white ocean
predator
130. Must-have
The winners of MegaXword No 103 and

Brainteaser No 102 appear on page 144.
mind games
Sudoku
MEDIUM
Fill in the grid so that every row, every

column, and every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9. You cant change
the digits already provided in the grid.
Each puzzle has just one correct
solution. Find it on page 144.
SUDOKU: INPRA
HARD
BY LINDA SHAW
your STARS
ARIES
21 MARCH 19 APRIL
TAURUS
20 APRIL 20 MAY
GEMINI
21 MAY 20 JUNE
Good news is coming your way, with lots of

luck in the money and business departments.
Youll have to work for it, though probably
even harder than usual. Which means you
wont have much time for home and family,
who are needing special attention right now.
Try to keep your evenings free and spend
time listening to your loved ones. You may find
theyve been saying the same things for a
long time and youve been too busy to hear.
The lunar eclipse on the 4th will help you
change the vibes at home. A big smile
wouldnt go amiss either.
Your closest relationship seems to be moving

backwards, as your lover becomes edgy and
insecure. So be gentle. And avoid all discussions about commitments until after the lunar
eclipse on the 4th. Youll understand whats
needed by then. Money is on the way. Youre
earning more, but also spending more. Dont
worry too much, though. Your career is advancing as you ease your way casually up the ladder
of success. All your efforts are being noticed,
and your plans are working out.
Emotional and physical energies will be

devoted to home, family and personal needs
this month. So even though problems at work
seem to be stagnating, let them take care of
themselves. This is a time to allow things to
happen instead of making them happen. Your
self-esteem will improve after the 8th, and
a new optimism, combined with clarity and
insight, helps you on your way. Be kind to
yourself. Remind yourself how much youve
accomplished already. Relax a little.
CANCER
21 JUNE 22 JULY
LEO
23 JULY 22 AUG
VIRGO
23 AUG 22 SEPT
A spot of forgiveness and a lot more tolerance

are whats needed here. And with that, your
relationship will move forward into the kind of
happiness you so desperately need. Be patient
though. It may take a full month to get where
youre going. Meanwhile, think about the possibility of joint ventures as long as you make
sure you negotiate the details after the lunar
eclipse (4th). And before you dive head-first into
a very hectic year, spend some time having fun.
Youve forgotten how good it can feel.
Mighty cosmic powers are joining forces to

grant your every whim. You want it? You got it.
You have the energy of 10, and enough charisma to mobilise an army. Not that you want to
do that. Concentrate instead on keeping your
ego intact. This is simply another phase in your
life. So enjoy it but appreciate it too. Oh, and
incidentally, avoid breaking any hearts before
the lunar eclipse (4th). In fact, dont make any
big decisions at all before the 12th. That way
youll cover all the bases.
Heaven forbid that you should ever get into a

me-first phase. Thats simply not who you are.
But still, youre as close to pure selfishness as
youre likely to get. And so what? The point is,
dont waste the energy. While its here, take
what you want. That aside, this is a month for
either travelling abroad or, at the very least,
moving way out of your usual orbit. Money is
good and sensual pleasures are abundant.
Passion is your yardstick as in, if it doesnt
ignite the fires, its not worthy of your attention.
Simple as that.
LIBRA
23 SEPT 22 OCT
SCORPIO
23 OCT 21 NOV
SAGITTARIUS
22 NOV 21 DEC
All the information you need to take the next

step and that means specific details will
shortly be revealed. The lunar eclipse on the
4th focuses on the career. After the 18th,
money comes from unexpected sources. Your
love life is doused in the golden rays of the sun.
And for those with more varied taste, (wicked!)
romantic hors doeuvres will be served up via
the office. There are riches coming your way
soon. Allow yourself to be spoiled for a change.
Yes, youre trying to be gracious and charming,

but basically youre just bulldozing your way
through. In fact, you simply wont take no for an
answer, will you? Which is fine, in that no ones
going to push you around this month. But dont
expect to make too many friends either.
Strangely enough, this wont bother you too
much. Youre in the mood to test yourself to the
limit to try everything new and push the
envelope. Should be fun, if you like that sort of
thing. Just try to stay alive. And get ready with
the apologies for when you finally wise up.
Your ruling planet is finally moving forward

(from the 8th) after months of dragging its feet.
You cant help but feel a new surge of energy
and enthusiasm. Nor can you avoid experiencing a fascinating new range of opportunities at
work. Speedy financial progress is made. Even
your love life is starting to make sense again.
The only drawback is a possible uprising by the
workers, which affects the bosses among you.
No need to panic. The problems will be resolved
fairly quickly and youll charm your way
through the rest.
CAPRICORN
22 DEC 19 JAN
AQUARIUS
20 JAN 18 FEB
PISCES
19 FEB 20 MARCH
Navigating the waters towards success may

reveal a few of the larger sharks. No worries.
You can handle them with one hand tied behind
your back. Take care though of some deception
thats afoot during the first two weeks of the
month. Consult with someone who can see
these things more clearly than you can. Watch
for a happy surprise around the 18th, when the
door to success will be flung wide open. It really is never too late to have a happy childhood.
Quite frankly, you couldnt care less if your

home burst into flames. And wouldnt you know
it, thats exactly where the planets are dragging
you off to right now. In which case, you might
as well do as youre told. Sort out your home,
relatives and friends as quickly as you can
and get back to what you were doing in the first
place. Which was making a vast fortune, enjoying a glowing love life and rising through the
ranks at work. Nothing wrong with that.
Okay, so you were hoping for magic wands

and fantasy trips around the world. Maybe
next month. For now, some interior work. And
were talking rapid, inexplicable growth in the
emotional and psychological departments.
Get some help if you want to avoid going nuts.
Otherwise, romance looks intriguing (if you
have the courage to follow your heart) and the
career is being helped by friends and relatives.
Dont argue. Take whats offered for once.
STOCKISTS
ACCESSORIZE (021) 447 7718
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SOLUTIONS TO
Sudoku
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OR CALL (021) 442 7700 FOR
STOCKIST DETAILS
GUESS (011) 883 8391
IDENTITY (021) 555 0885
IFIX WWW.IFIX.CO.ZA
KLINES (021) 443 4341
LA MER (011) 516 3038 AND
SELECTED EDGARS AND
STUTTAFORDS STORES
LANCME 0860 10 24 91
LEVIS (021) 403 9424
LIPIDOL EXCLUSIVE TO CLICKS
STORES WWW.LIPIDOL.COM
LORAL PARIS AVAILABLE AT
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LOVISA 0800 55 5313
MAC COSMETICS (021) 421 4886
WWW.MACCOSMETICS.COM
MANGO (021) 418 0916
MAX MARA (021) 418 9447
MAYBELLINE AVAILABLE AT
SELECTED DEPARTMENT STORES
AND ONLINE AT WWW.SPREE.CO.ZA
MINIMA MINIMA.CO.ZA/STOCKISTS/
MONO ONLINE SHOP
WWW.MONOSHOP.CO.ZA
MOROCCANOIL AVAILABLE FROM
SELECTED SALONS OR CALL (011)
305 1600 FOR STOCKISTS
MR. PRICE 0800 212 535
WWW.MRP.COM
NAILS INC. EXCLUSIVE TO EDGARS
AND RED SQUARE STORES
NARCISO RODRIGUEZ AVAILABLE
EXCLUSIVELY AT SELECTED EDGARS
AND RED SQUARE STORES
NIVEA AVAILABLE AT SELECTED
RETAIL STORES AND PHARMACIES
NSI AVAILABLE FROM SELECTED
SALONS
NUXE AVAILABLE AT SELECTED
TRUWORTHS STORES NATIONWIDE
OH-LIEF AVAILABLE ONLINE ON
OHLIEF.COM, SELECTED
WOOLWORTHS AND SELECTED
HEALTH AND SPECIALITY STORES
MEDIUM
PONDS AVAILABLE AT SELECTED

STORES AND PHARMACIES
QUEENSPARK (021) 460 9400
RE-FINED.COM (031) 764 4529
REPLAY (021) 418 8507
REVLON AVAILABLE AT SELECTED
DEPARTMENT STORES AND
PHARMACIES AND ONLINE AT
WWW.SPREE.CO.ZA
RIVER ISLAND (021) 555 3691
ROGZ WWW.ROGZ.COM
SALLY HANSEN AVAILABLE AT
SELECTED STORES AND PHARMACIES
SCOTCH AND SODA (011) 784 3233
SHOP-LABEL WWW.SHOP-LABEL.COM
SISSY BOY (021) 506 4600
SORBET AVAILABLE FROM CLICKS
STORES AND SORBET SALONS
SPARITUAL AVAILABLE AT SELECTED
SALONS AND SPAS OR CALL (021)
552 6999 FOR STOCKIST DETAILS
SPREE WWW.SPREE.CO.ZA
STARKE AYRES GARDEN CENTRE
(021) 685 4120

STERNS (021) 938 1943
STUTTAFORDS (011) 879 1000
SUPERBALIST WWW.SUPERBALIST.
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last word
BY SUZY BROKENSHA
the
Binky principle
ts the 14th of February, Valentines Day.

I am not a huge fan of Valentines Day
because, like Facebook, its pretty much
designed to make you feel youre having a
worse life than everyone else in the world.
Its all lose-lose: if youre not in a relationship, you feel as though everyone else in the
world is; and if you are, you think everyone
else in the world is in a better relationship
because their partner is so much more romantic than
yours is. Fortunately, in our house Valentines Day is
largely viewed as nothing more than a day where eating
chocolate for breakfast is not only allowed, but obligatory.
As usual, it being Saturday, were in the middle
of nowhere, on a farm. It was meant
to be a family weekend away, but the
teens were having none of it: they have
people to see and places to go
accompanying their parents to a remote
farm apparently fits into neither of these
categories, though we are people and
this is a place. Just not in their eyes.
Fifteen, through skillful manipulation of timing and fuzzy arrangements,
has succeeded in his efforts to stay in
town. But Fourteen is limp, glassy-eyed and running
a huge temperature, so she has no choice she has to
come with us. She sleeps all the way there, goes straight
to bed when we arrive and wakes late into the morning.
Happy Valentines Day, she croaks, when she finally
stops sleeping and comes through to our room.
Thank you, my sweet sick baby, I say. I did get you
some chocolate her feverish eyes light up with joy
but Im afraid we ate it last night.
How could you do that? she wails. Im sick!
We didnt think youd pull through, says my husband.
A few sheep are pressing their little woolly faces
against the white picket fence outside our window (seriously this is the kind of farm people paint on crockery
in middle America). Fourteen musters all her strength to
stage a walkout. The sheep scatter as she opens the door,
then bunch together again in a I want to say, tight-knit,
but will resist the urge group, all staring at her mutely.
Ive never been made to feel so unwelcome, she says

when she gets back. First the chocolate, then the sheep
its turning into a tough weekend out here on the prairie
for Fourteen. Specially since, as the only child here, she
should be reveling in uncontested Binkyhood.
According to my friend Sarah, every family has a
Binky. Binky is not exactly the favourite child, but it is
the one that has most sway, with the mother in particular
(of course fathers have the equivalent, but Binky is rarely
the same child for both parents). I have noticed in grown
up children that Binkydom is often conferred on the child
that may have been wayward but has come back to the
family fold. So the novelty factor of having them around
or at least vaguely coherent might be what its all
about for the mother. Equally, it might
be the shining star who always does
everything right. In my family, Binky
is my older brother, Mark. Weve
teased him about it so much that he
even sometimes signs his emails
Binky. But the qualifications for
Binkydom change all the time, as does
the actual identity of the Binkmeister:
it is rare that one Binky will remain
unchallenged forever.
In our house, Binkys identity has been a hot topic ever
since the kids could talk.
Fifteen: How come Fourteen has got a Kindle and not
me?
Me: It was her BIRTHDAY present.
Husband (simultaneously): Because shes Binky.
We prefer her to you.
Or,
Fourteen: I want to be allowed to read as late as
Fifteen.
Me: You cant. Hes older than you, so he can stay up
longer.
Husband (simultaneously): He can because hes
Binky. We like him more.
The truth is, as both Fourteen and Fifteen very well
know, I do have a Binky. And his identity has remained
unchanged throughout their lives, no matter what they do.
Its the kid next door.
Fifteen, through
skillful manipulation
of timing and fuzzy
arrangements, has
succeeded in his
efforts to stay
in town
6213
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