Alma Wolf

Unfolding My Socialization
I have always considered myself to be an individual, someone who chooses what to
believe. I like to think that I am a fun, confident, smart girl who is fortunate and has every
opportunity in the world. I live my life by my own standards, believing what I choose to believe.
I am an individual and I have my own opinions. Yet, every part of me was formed by the
example of someone else. My so called individuality is learned behavior. In his song Same
Love, Macklemore sings When I was in the third grade, I thought that I was gay, cause I could
draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight. In this verse, Macklemore is stating the way
he was socialized at a young age to think that certain human characteristics that he possessed
meant he was gay, even though he is not. The cycle of socialization is an invisible cycle that
constantly perpetuates itself throughout our culture and minds. There are five agents of
socialization: family, peers, media, religion, and institution. These agents constantly pepper us
with information on how to act, what to say, what things to like, and how to dress. Without
knowing, we have taken in all of this information and used it to create ourselves in the eye of our
society. This is socialization. We are taught these behaviors without even realizing, and we will
most likely pass them onto our children without knowing. This is how the cycle continues to
shape our culture. You may think that you are different or dont care what people think, but
in reality, you have received so many messages from society that they are a part of who you are.
Socialization is a double edged sword. Many negative messages are conveyed through
socialization, such as white superiority, racism, and homophobia. However, socialization also has
positive aspects, as it teaches us to exhibit our personalities and define good behavior versus bad
behavior. It also educates us on human characteristics such as norms, morals, and how to interact
with others. From the subtle and obvious messages I have received from media, peers, and
family, I have been socialized to believe that white people are the governing race, that girls are
supposed to present themselves as feminine, and to judge people if what they look like isnt what
society accepts.
The dominant presence of caucasian people in the media and stereotypical portrayals of
people of other races has socialized me to believe that white people are more trustworthy and
adequate than other races. When you turn on the television, you see white people. When you
look at magazines, you see white people. These media expressions seem normal to me, because I
am a caucasian female. However, they have also socialized me to believe that white people are
normal. This has shaped my identity by giving me confidence. I look more similar to the models
featured in the media, which makes me feel more connected, beautiful, and; therefore, confident.
However, it is the opposite for women of other races. Since I was younger I also considered
being lighter as a form of beauty, or, you know, more beautiful than being dark skinned. So, I
used to think of myself as being ugly because I was dark skinned, said Jennifer, an 18 year old
girl in the video A Girl Like Me. Young girls lack self confidence because of the appearance of
white people in the media. I am completely comfortable with my image, but many girls of other
races see these perfect white women as they grow up, and it socializes them to feel different.
While this negative racial socialization doesnt directly affect me, generations of beautiful
women are being raised to feel like they have to change themselves to fit in. This affects the
overall way that women as a culture feel about themselves. I feel that this negative racial
socialization is unfair and unkind. Wahida, also from the video A Girl Like Me states, I knew

people who actually, like, went out there and got, you know, bleaching cream and everything.
The cycle of socialization continues to perpetuate negative stereotypes and make people feel
unaccepted as themselves, and influences them to identify as less than. Even today, when many
people agree we have made progress with racism, the unspoken tentacles of the cycle continue to
influence our culture and attitude towards people of other races. If we want to continue
progressing as a nation, and truly uphold our constitution, we need to live by the true belief that
everyone is equal, no matter their skin color.
With all the fashion magazines telling us what to wear, how to look, and how to act, I
have been socialized to believe that women are supposed to act and present themselves in a way
that is feminine. While you wait in line at the grocery store, you see the rack of magazines, the
covers bold and colorful, designed to catch your attention. Each one states something different:
What to Wear to Work! 15 Makeup Tricks That Will Totally Blow Your Mind, Hairstyles
For Your Hair Length! How to Get the Guy. We may not realize it, but how we present
ourselves is yet another socialized behavior. Fashion magazines, what other people wear, what
we see on TV, it all affects our personal style. As Maia Sethna states in her article titled Influence
of Social Media in Fashion and Lifestyle, The enormous infusion of social media, in terms of
bloggers, internet celebrities, and ecommerce websites, especially targeting the younger
generation, influences the way we dress and what we feel is fashionable. As I have grown up,
I have noticed that girls are supposed to present themselves in a way that is seen as girly, or
feminine. Females are expected to dress in skirts, dresses, use makeup, and spend time doing
their hair. This has shaped my identity in the sense that sometimes I see myself as girly, and
sometimes less girly. I feel like I have to dress in a nice shirt and be put together in order to look
attractive, and when I wear just a t-shirt and jeans I feel more casual and less feminine. During
my research for this paper, I came across a page on the Planned Parenthood website titled
Gender & Gender Identity. It had a section on words commonly used to describe femininity and
masculinity. The words listed were quite an accurate representation of how we are socialized to
believe women and men are supposed to be. Under femininity: dependent, emotional, weak, self
critical, sexually submissive, flirtatious, sensitive, innocent; under masculinity: non-emotional,
aggressive, tough-skinned, competitive, active, clumsy, independent, rebellious. These
stereotypes associated with gender-defining words may seem extreme, but they are more
designating than we think. When I am categorized by the stereotypes associated with women, it
feels very degrading. I want to be recognized as an intellect, yet I am stereotyped to be dumb. I
want to partake in manual labor, but I am stereotyped to be weak and incapable. I want people to
like me for my personality, yet society tells males that my value comes from my appearance.
These stereotypes cause me to feel itemized, and like I am replaceable. This affects how I feel
about myself day to day, yet my general identity is not affected by these classifications because
my family and friends provide me with a sense of validation and confidence. However, I am still
somewhat affected by the way that people think of me, especially when I believe that it is
negative.
Everyone has heard the phrase Dont judge a book by its cover, probably from parents
or schoolteachers who are trying to teach kindness and acceptance. But in reality, many people
automatically judge someone based on their appearance. I have been socialized by my family
and friends to judge people by what they look like, and know that people will judge me, too. If
someones clothes and hairstyle dont fit with what is normal, they may be judged to be weird.
If someone wears clothes that are black, they may be seen as goth. I know that I judge people

like this. When I first see someone, my mind automatically jumps to conclusions about their
personality based on their clothes, hair, and demeanor. I have made many decisions about people
based on what they look like, but later gotten to know them and really liked - or disliked - their
personality. This comes from how I was socialized. Our society places a very high importance on
outward appearance. You can't wear a tank top two days in a row, and you can only wear your
hair in a ponytail once a week. So I guess you picked today. Oh, and we only wear jeans or track
pants on Fridays. This is a quote from Gretchen Weiners in the movie Mean Girls, a film we
watched in class to garner more knowledge about socialization and stereotypes. This statement
emphasizes the importance that most Americans place upon appearance. I know that I often jump
to conclusions about people based on how they look, and this leads me to believe that others also
conclude things about me from how I appear to them. This has socialized me to care about what I
look like, too. I spend a good amount of time getting dressed in the morning, and thinking about
clothes and what I look like. Occasionally, this causes me to become stressed out and irritable,
especially if I am tired. I am not proud of this, but it is how I was socialized. Society taught me
that I need to dress a certain way, and that I should always look put together.
As I have grown up, I have become more and more socialized, everyday bombarded with
new information. I have used this knowledge to unknowingly construct myself. Now, I realize
everything I have done in my life to create my image, all the messages I have received that have
shaped who I am. Now I am informed about the cycle of socialization, and how I have been
socialized. Why does this matter? Because I am not the only one impacted by socialization.
Every single person in our society has been socialized, taught to be someone. Everyone turns out
different, but we are influenced by the same things. Socialization in general is not a bad thing,
but the messages conveyed may be negative. The cycle is teaching people that who they are must
be changed. We see racism, homophobia, and sexism as negative messages that are perpetuated
through the cycle. If we want to see change in our world, everyone will have to participate. We
cannot change the mindset of a country, but we can change the mindset of ourselves. In order to
eliminate the negative facets of the cycle of socialization, we must use the wisdom from an
article titled The Cycle of Socialization: For this new direction of action to work, we need
education for critical consciousness for all groups. We need to take a stand, reframe our
understandings, question the status quo, and begin a critical transformation that can break down
this cycle of socialization and start a new cycle leading to liberation for all. This is possible. We
can change the world.
Mask Paragraph
My mask is painted green, which is my favorite color. It is covered in images that represent me
and what I enjoy in life, some of which are less feminine. The pictures include skiing, cycling,
space, my family; and words on my mask tell of my love for snow, the outdoors, math and
science, the place where I live, and myself. I feel that the pictures on my mask really do
represent who I am. Covering my mask is a paper mach shell. The newspaper that comprises the
shell symbolizes my love for reading, yet there are also words on the shell that represent
stereotypes that women in our society are branded with. These words symbolize how I am
branded with stereotypes and they shape who I am, but my mask shows who I am beneath the
stereotypes. There are holes cut in the shell, so that you can see parts of my mask. The shell
symbolizes how I dont fully expose myself, and the holes symbolize the parts that I do show.

Bibliography
A Girl Like Me. Dir. Kiri Davis. YouTube. Media That Matters, 4 May 2007. Web. 26 Oct. 2015.
"Gender Identity | Stereotypical Masculine & Feminine Traits." Planned Parenthood. Planned
Parenthood, 2014. Web. 15 Oct. 2015.
Harro, Bobbie. "The Cycle of Socialization." (n.d.): n. pag. Web. 26 Oct. 2015.
Mean Girls. Dir. Mark Waters. Perf. Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams. THEVID
Technicolor Distribution Services, 2004. DVD.
Sethna, Maia. "Influence of Social Media In Fashion & Lifestyle." Mumbai. Social Media Week,
18 July 2013. Web. 22 Oct. 2015.