Phuong Chau

ENGL 101
Professor McCampbell
12/02/2015
Essay 4
Phuong The strengths of this essay are your thoughtful consideration of how the solution will
be implemented and how it may benefit the students. Also, you used credible and reliable
sources. The greatest weakness is that not all material is cited correctly. You will work on that
as you write more papers.
Propose and Solution 109/130
During the past several years, school violence has become an urgent social problem for
many countries around the world. School violence is not a new problems, but now it is now
increasingly revealed as a more dangerous and complex problem. Every school should recognize
the need to reduce violence as soon as possible. For example, schools should have at least one
professional psychiatrist available to provide methods to calm the children and also to provide
counseling sessions to both the children and their parents.
Depression and anxiety are the most likely reasons that can lead to violence among
children (School Violence: the cause). If they suffer from severe depression, then it may be
possible that they can become violent as a result. According to School Shootings and Student
Mental Health - What Lies Beneath the Tip of the Iceberg, research indicates that approximately
18% of children and adolescents have a mental health disorder, and that approximately 5% are
severely emotionally disturbed. The odds are, therefore, that every classroom in every school has

at least one student with a mental health disorder (William). Therefore, every school needs to be
concerned about the mental heath of each of the children to reduce the violence.
Psychiatrists could be the best solution to reducing the violence. Psychiatrists are a
physicians who specialize in the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental health and
emotional problems. One way to effectively help a students mental health is for psychiatrist to
be placed at school, so that mental health treatment can be diagnosed, and treatment can be
within the school. In this program, a psychiatrist will support students in resolving difficulties in
the development of personality, abilities, and study skills, personal relationships, and emotional
disturbances. Jaana Juvonen said counseling often involves parents and teachers. Mediation of
conflicts, on the other hand, is incident- rather than person-based: the goal is to negotiate and
resolve conflicts in a constructive manner as soon as they happen. For example, if a student has
trouble with his/her personality, he/she can go to counseling sessions to try and figure out what is
going on and they will help him/her. If a student is receiving special education services for
emotional/behavioral problems, the student generally has either been diagnosed with a mental
health disorder. The student will receive treatment from a counseling session. The cost could be
provided to over 13 million youth and more than $2 billion in funding and other resources to 386
communities in all 50 states across the Nation( Mental Health in Schools: An Overview). The
government will pay the cost for this program. Moreover, the tax will be increase more 2% per
year. Most of the parents cannot leave their work on a weekly basis to pick up their children at
school, bring them to a clinic, and return them to the school after the sessions. When necessary,
the mental health services provider will contact the parent via phone during the session. Schools
can be an effective partner with parents, and with medical and mental health providers, in the
process of students mental health disorders.
2

This counseling can be result in a reduced chance of violence that is the result of
depression or being bullied. According to Metal Health Promotion & Youth Violence Prevention,
more than 90 percent of school staffs saw reduced violence on school grounds, and nearly 80
percent reported that it had reduced violence in their communities. Moreover, counseling will
be reveal any harassment occurring within the school, and measures can be taken to reduce
bullying in schools. It is very important to note that most school violence is committed by a
student or students who have been pushed over the edge by another student.
In conclusion, students must learn that they are responsible for their personal behavior
and actions, and that they are personally accountable for what they do in school and in the
community. Providing special programs to children at an early age will help teach them to be
cooperative, responsible, and productive students throughout the school years and beyond. There
is no clear-cut solution to the problems these children face, but these suggestions would make a
world of a difference. This plan will be a beneficial effects. It will allow the community
educational support the nations goal of growing health and creating safe environments for
student in school.

Works Cites
Juvonen, Jaana. "School Violence Prevalence, Fears, and Prevention." School Violence:
Prevalence, Fears, and Prevention. N.p., n.d. Web. 02 Dec. 2015.
"Mental Health in Schools: An Overview." Mental Health in Schools: An Overview. School
Mental Health Project, UCLA, n.d. Web. 02 Dec. 2015.
"Safe Schools / Healthy Students." Safe Schools / Healthy Students. American
Institutes for Research, n.d. Web. 02 Dec. 2015.
"School Violence: The Causes." What Are the Causes of School Violence. N.p., n.d. Web. 06
Dec. 2015.
ENGL 101
M. McCampbell
Fall 2015

ESSAY 4 - PROPOSAL
SCORING RUBRIC

Topic
Introducti
on
0 15
points >
10 while
you
explain
who this

Does not meet C

0 7 points
States the
problem; vague
reference to
solution.

Meets C standard
8 - 12 points
State the problem, situation
or enterprise; support your
reasoning with researched
information to show how
there is a problem, a needy
situation or a worth
enterprise.

Exceeds C paper
13 15 POINTS
States the problem;
clear background;
clearly shows who
/what is affected;
comments about
available initiatives;
Specific appeal to
the audience.
4

problem
affects
later, the
introduc
tion
should
identify
students
who may
be at
risk for
committi
ng
violence
since
many
problem
s might
deal
with the
aftermat
h of
school
violence.
Thesis
0 10
points>7

Analyze
solution
and how
to
implemen
t it
0 15
points>1
3

0 4 points
Identifies the
solution; flat
statement about
the solution.

5 7 points

0 7 points
Flat statement of
how solution will
address problem
Does not include
affected group
Does not describe
the process of
implementation.

8 - 12 points

Identify the solution, judges

it, and shows its relationship
to the problem, situation or
enterprise .

How it should address the

problem or fix it. At least
one verifiable statistic or
examples or detail and cite
it
Shows how affected group
will benefit(or not)
Describes the process, costs
and materials for

8 10 points
Cites reasons for the
solution.

13 15 POINTS
Provides several
specific
examples/statistics/d
etails how solution
will address the
problem.
Gives specific
examples/evidence
of how the affected
group will benefit(or
not)
5

implementation

Evaluate
the
solution
0 15
points>1
3

Conclusio
n
05
points>5

Clearly explains
implementation,
cost, materials and
other relevant detail.
13 15 POINTS
Comments on the
quality of the
solution and
supports with
specific evidence
Comments on the
level of
feasibility/practicality
of the solution
Gives specific
details/examples.

0 7 points
Reports on
outcomes
Not
recommendation
Does not address
the affected
group or the
feasibility/practic
ality

8 - 12 points

0 2 point

3 4 points

5 points

Flatly summary of
problem,
solution, and
whether is it
acceptable or
not.
Brings up a new
subject.

Restates the final judgment

and connects with the
problem and how well the
solution will work.

Refers to topics
brought up in the
intro; indicates the
degree of challenge
the problem poses
and how the solution
can address it.

In-Text Citations
0 -10 points>6

Work Cited Entries

0 -5 points> 4more
than required sources;
some citations are
incomplete
Quality of sources
0 -5 points>5

Paragraph Structure

Clearly stated judgment of

solution
Projects effectiveness and
impact on affected group
Comments on the
practicality/feasibility of the
implementation
Support with researched
evidence.

0 4 points
Material is not cited
correctly or
appropriately at least
three times; does not
follow MLA format.
0 2 point
MLA format is
haphazardly followed;
entries are not
alphabetized; uses URL
instead of citation.
Sources include
questionable credibility
or are personal sites
0 4 points
One or two topic

5 7 points
Most material is
correctly and
appropriately cited; MLA
format is correct

8 10 points
All material is correctly
and appropriately cited;
follows MLA format
without errors

3 4 points
Three sources are on
Work Cited list; list is
mostly correct; all
entries are alphabetized

5 points
All work cited entries
are correct.

Sources are relevant

and credible; some
sources are not clarified
in the essay.
5 7 points
Clearly stated topic

All sources are relevant

and credible and clearly
identified in the essay
8 10 points
Topic sentences are

0 -10 points>10

sentences missing;
Paragraphs lack unity

Coherence
0 -10 points>10

Paragraph not related to

topic;
Organization does not
follow a clear pattern;
Abrupt changes;

Diction
0 -10 points> 7some
awkward sentence
construction

Wording is vague;
Words are confused
with other meanings
Grammatical
conventions are
infracted;
Uses second pers prn;

sentences;
Paragraphs clearly
related to thesis
Paragraphs arranged in
logical order;
Ideas follow logical
development
Employs transitions
when necessary
Uses appropriate
pronouns;
Avoids redundant
wording;
Uses words correctly
Avoids slang and worn
out cliches

specifically worded and

link thesis and all
supporting material
Transitions move ideas
clearly throughout
essay;
Ideas build on each
other to emphasize
thesis
Writers voice is clear
and authoritative;
Employs specific words;
employs active voice
and specific verbs;
Wording is concise

Errors (prorated / 500 words)no errors other than the diction mentioned above!=20

TOTAL POINTS___>_________/130