Sam Nouri Zad

Valerie Fong
English 1S.02
23 February 2016
Diversity Beyond Walls
When it comes to the topic of borders and borderlands, most of us will readily agree that

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:38 AM

Comment [1]: Nice title

the US has become a diverse nation with people crossing borders, whether they are invisible or
not. Where this agreement usually ends, however, is on the question of how diverse do we want
the US to be? Whereas some are convinced that people should be able to migrate into the US
with ease, others maintain the idea that the US should be restricted for certain individuals.
Ultimately, what is important to consider when discussing this topic is the cultural diverse
universe we now live in, the reasons why people migrate in the first place, and how people
associate themselves with a particular group.
Cultural diversity has spread to certain areas in the US for decades, the Bay Area being

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:39 AM

Comment [2]: Compelling thesis focus.

the most notable region. In the text, Ode to the Bay, Andrew Lam explains that the United
States is a new place everyday due to the various cultures that come and make their mark in
several different locations. Lam listens in to the languages spoken outside of his apartment, The
languages of the world -- Chinese, French, Spanish, German, Russian, Thai, Japanese, Hindi,
Vietnamese and many more I do not recognize -- waft in through my open windows These
languages came to be because of how the arching bridges and grand ports invited them into the
land of the free and allowed each one to settle in such a diverse area, called the Bay Area. Ever
since I came to the US in June of 2007 I have noticed how the Spanish culture makes one area
different than the Japanese culture would have. Cultures evoke diversity through their language,

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:39 AM

Comment [3]: Thoughtful connection to
your intro in terms of
migration/immigration.
Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:40 AM
Comment [4]: This is an effective way to
establish your ethos as an immigrant
yourself.
Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:40 AM
Comment [5]: Nicely phrased.

beliefs/practices, and food. Each culture approaches each of these three in different ways to
resemble it appropriately and respectably. In truth, an individual does not necessarily have to be
German in order to be part of the German culture.
Cultures are not limited to a specific race; some people can be included in a culture by
simply walking through a town dominated by a culture, which can also create cultural diversity.
For example, in the map, Who Am I Where? Rebecca Solnit maps out the San Francisco area

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:41 AM

Comment [6]: Compelling idea, and one
that I think Solnit and Lam would agree
with.
Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:41 AM
Comment [7]: Ah very thoughtful way
to discuss Solnit, and nice transition.

where she has gained new identities and memories. Solnit identifies herself as both Irish and
Mexican in two separate areas, In the Sunset, I am almost Irish enough but not San Franciscan
enough and In the Haight, I am either a Chicano biker or a Mexican deadhead, and both
identities protect me from the Anglo teen criminals. In my own map, I, too, had several
different identities. For example, At Foothill College, I am a student trying to find myself and
my hidden career, and In Downtown Palo Alto, I am the DJ as I crank up the volume to play

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:42 AM

Comment [8]: Very nice synthesis of
your own map in relation to Solnits.

my songs loud and proud. Even though Solnit is an American, she feels like she is part of the
Irish culture whenever she goes back to the Sunset. Likewise, she feels like she is part of the
latino community whenever she is walking through the Haight. Similarly, when I am at Foothill I
feel like a student and not a DJ, but when I am in downtown its the other way around because
Im in a different setting. These different settings can make the world diverse by letting people
feel like they are a part of another culture and then educate others of that culture to spread
diversity throughout the country.
Most of the people who are migrating into the US are trying to find the freedom they
never got to experience in their country. When my dad told my family that we are moving to the
US I felt like my freedom was slowly taken away. I began protesting that we should forget about
America and live our life in Sweden because I didnt feel like moving to a different place would

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:42 AM

Comment [9]: Very good point we shift
our identities based on where we are.

make a difference; life would be the same but in a different part of the world. After we arrived in
America I noticed the freedom my dad was talking about and I thought maybe this change
wouldnt be so bad as I thought it would. According to my map, I have experienced a whole lot
more here in the US than I had in Sweden; I felt like a DJ, I felt like I was part of a video game
world, Im a co-worker, etc. These are the things I have experienced throughout the nine years
spent in the US and I sense a bit of freedom when I have these various identities. Whereas during
the eleven years spent in Sweden I only had four main things to talk about. So in truth, I

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:45 AM

Comment [10]: Very thoughtful analysis
of your personal experience, Sam.

encountered various ways of freedom here than I did in Sweden. I can only imagine how other
people encounter freedom during their migration into the United States of America.
Other than freedom, economic reasons cause some people to risk their lives to cross a
border. Americans never think about what the people crossing the border have gone through
before deciding to cross it. Americans are biased because they assume the life they live is the

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:45 AM

Comment [11]: Very important point.

same, rich lifestyle people in Mexico live. We wouldnt hear much about illegal immigrants if
Mexicans live the life of the average American. Theres always a reason why people do illegal
things. In the text, Our Wall, Charles Bowden talks to a man, Dan Duley, about the immigrants
who cross the border everyday. Duley believes, the real solution has to be economic, that jobs
must be created in Mexico...the wall is a police solution to an economic problem (229). A
documentary, 30 Days, centers on illegal immigration explaining why people get out of there as
soon as they get the chance. A woman in the video explained they had a higher chance of finding
an average job in America than finding a harvesting job in a rundown town in Mexico. Duley
comes to the conclusion that people cross the border because there is an insufficient list of jobs
to apply to and America will, at least, move them forward in life. I think it is very obvious that
people would take their chances to cross a dangerous wall if available jobs only show up every

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:46 AM

Comment [12]: Well-selected quote to
support your point.
Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:46 AM
Comment [13]: Im interested in viewing
this documentary.

six months. One major reason why we even have illegal immigrants is because of the economic
problems they were facing on the other side of the barbed wired fence.
In addition to illegal immigrants, most people view them in a negative way to keep the
United States in its American atmosphere, which hints at less diversity. However, people dont
understand that the US stopped being a country for Americans as soon as immigrants from all

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:47 AM

Comment [14]: Consider rephrasing
here: Some people view immigrants in a
negative way

around the world arrived in the US. Furthermore, any immigrant, legal or illegal, cannot be
diminishing any of the American spirit thats left because if that was the case then all of that
spirit would be gone by now since millions of immigrants arrive at airports every year. In the
text, Our Wall, Duley, a resident of Naco, talks about the effects of illegal immigrants and

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:48 AM

Comment [15]: And I think Lam would
argue that diversity is the American spirit.

says, We need help...Were being invaded. Theyve taken away our jobs, our security. Im just
a blue-collar man living in a small town. And I just wish the government cared about a man who
was blue (229). Duley believes these immigrants changed the American state of mind by
taking available jobs and his sense of security. But this invasion wouldnt cause the US to lose

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:49 AM

Comment [16]: Effective engagement
with this quote/example.

any of its current loyalism; it would make the US more diverse, but people can still wave their
star-spangled banner as much as they want. What does it mean to be an American? Heres a
bigger question: What if America was formed to be a land for everyone, emphasizing the strong
diversity among individuals and cultures?
America is definitely a huge mass of land meant to serve a community of various

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:48 AM

Comment [17]: Very thoughtful.

cultures. However, these cultures have found a way to group themselves together in specific
parts of an area instead of being placed in random neighborhoods. In the text, People Like Us,
David Brooks establishes a point that, We dont really care about diversity, because people
want to be, with people who are basically like themselves. Brooks also notes,

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:49 AM

Comment [18]: Nice embedding of the
quote.

Maybe somewhere in this country there is a truly diverse neighborhood in which a black
Pentecostal minister lives next to a white anti-globalization activist, who lives next to an
Asian short-order cook...But I have never been to or heard of that neighborhood.
Its not that people dont care about diversity; its more that people are not aware of it, but it is
true that people tend to group themselves with people of similar characteristics and personalities.
The average person does not feel comfortable when he or she is around people that are different
in terms of race, skin color, religion, etc. When people notice these terms neighborhoods start to
form and are classified as borderlands because it contains people of at least one specific quality
(skin color, beliefs, ethnicity, etc). As much as these borderlands can be observed in the real
world, without a doubt, it can be seen in similar ways through virtual reality.

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:50 AM

Comment [19]: What would happen if
you moved this to the beginning of the
next paragraph?

In GTA 5

(my Los Angeles virtual reality),

I notice these

borderlands in action without

having to travel 500

miles to experience it. In the

ghettos, I see how it

mostly includes people of color,

Latinos, African

Americans and some white

homeless individuals, but there are really no upper or middle class persons in these unfortunate
areas. Then I head towards a wealthier place where people are hanging out with their friends and
pets. In these areas it is the complete opposite -- mostly white, upper class people. The first
image shows three

African American men hanging

out in the shady

ghettos of LA. While the

second image

shows another group of three

sitting on the grass

with their dog in the beautiful,

bright weather; in

this case they are Caucasians

spending time

together in one of the wealthiest

part of LA. As you can see, human beings will automatically place themselves in certain parts of
a city that relates to their social class, race, or the phrase Brooks would have used, with people
who are basically like themselves.
The cultures in our daily atmosphere, people trying to go beyond walls, and which
neighborhood people would conform to are the ultimate points to talk about when on topic of
borders and borderlands. In the Bay Area, for example, the borders are more open than other
parts of the US; its an area willing to accept cultures from around the world. Sometimes we
have mental borders of who we are in certain sectors of a place. There are individuals who are
bound to an area and cant escape when all they want is a job or more importantly, freedom. In

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:51 AM

Comment [20]: Its interesting to think
about the ways in which virtual reality
mirrors physical reality.

Valerie Fong 3/14/2016 6:51 AM

Comment [21]: The wording here is a bit
awkward. Consider rephrasing.

contrast, some people dont understand these two necessities and so they try to push people back
to where they came from. Whether its a game or real life, we can all see how people tend to
allocate themselves to where they will feel the most comfortable. All in all, borders and
borderlands can be both open and closed; its just a matter of how we choose to perceive them.

Works Cited
Bowden, Charles. Our Wall. Beyond Words: Cultural Texts for Reading and Writing,
Ruszkiewicz, John, et al, eds. Boston: Pearson, 2012. Print. 226-230.
Brooks, David. People Like Us. theatlantic.com. The Atlantic Monthly Group, Sept. 2003.
Web. 10 Feb. 2016.
Lam, Andrew. Ode to the Bay: My Life as a Vietnamese Immigrant in California.
huffingtonpost.com. HuffPost San Francisco, 15 Dec 2012. Web. 03 Feb. 2016.
Nouri Zad, Sam. Who Am I Where. 10 Feb. 2016.
Nouri Zad, Sam. Observation of Los Angeles. 8 Feb. 2016.
Solnit, Rebecca and Guillermo Gomez-Pena. Who Am I Where: A Map of Contingent Identities
and Circumstantial Memories. Infinite City. Berkeley: University of California Press, 29
Nov. 2010. Print.

Sam: What I really like about this essay is its scope and ambition. You broach the topic very
thoughtfully, bringing in a discussion of the readings as well as your own observations. The
introduction effectively frames the essay and the thesis is clear. The organizational structure is
clear, with smooth transitions from point to point, and topic sentences articulate clear and
meaningful points. The paragraphs include support from a range of readings, demonstrating how
your views fit within the larger conversation, and quotes are nicely integrated. You synthesize
your own Who Am I Where and Observation of a Place thoughtfully. Sentence crafting is clear
and readable.
I think one element that you could refine a bit is the conclusion. I think that your conclusion is
summarizing what you say in the essay. That can be effective, but it can be more compelling to
leave your reader with an ultimate point something you want them to consider as they walk
away from your paper. You express that at the end of the conclusion; what would happen if you
started the conclusion with that idea. For example: Ultimately, what is most important to
consider is that whether its a game or real life, people tend to allocate themselves to where they
will feel the most comfortable. All in all, borders and borderlands can be both open and closed;
its just a matter of how we choose to perceive them. Then you can continue with some advice to
your readers about how you believe we should perceive the borderlands around us.
I really enjoyed reading your work, Sam! -Valerie