Child-Rearing

Changes
that Impede
Early Child
Development

Outline 9:15 12:15

1.

Child-rearing changes that impede early child

development

2.

Changes in child outcomes past 50 60 years and

considering how the child-rearing changes may
contribute to poor child outcomes

3.

BREAK

4.

9 Keys to optimizing child development and

bringing out the best in young children

Two-Phase Study
1.

Observed unusually mature, capable, considerate

young children in a Montessori School

2.

Conducted a literature search of child-rearing

changes, since:
A.

~ 50 60 years ago

B.

The advent of agriculture

Child-Rearing Changes
Were

Doing it Wrong

Modern Child-Rearing Practices that

Hinder Early Child Development

1. Teaching, telling and directing too much

Here, why dont you

gather all the green
leaves?
How does this affect
child development?

2. Limiting opportunities for learning

by observation and interaction
Never let little children play with older children.

Keep your eyes on your own work.

Reduces natural learning opportunities.

Learning from someone closer to your age

Learning to be empathic, gentle and accommodating with

younger children

Increases bullying?

3. Doing Too Much FOR children

Let me do that for you.

Doing for the child what they
can do for themselves
What does it communicate
about your opinion of their
inherent capabilities?
How does it affect their
learning and development?
How does it affect adult-child
relationships?

What do we call it at
work if our supervisor
does our work for us?

Mission Statement of Toddlers:

Dedicated to active, self-directed
exploration,

Learning how the world works, and

Developing the skills of capable, selfdirected human beings
As quickly as possible!

4. Being avoidant of mistakes

Oh no, you spilled!!
We can inadvertently teach young
children that mistakes are bad.
And no one learns anything new if they
avoid mistakes.

5. Child-Rearing is More Fear- and

Control-Based

When adults believe we must

control young children, how
does that affect our relationship?

When adults feel constant fear

that children are fragile or in
danger, how does that affect the
childs learning and development?

The importance of self-control,

as opposed to other-control

6. We contain and restrict

childrens movement too much

How does this impact their physical development?

How does it impact other skill development?
What is the impact to their natural learning drives?

Which do you intend to change?

Why is that one important?

Teaching, telling and directing too much

2. Limiting opportunities for observation and interaction
3. Doing too much FOR children
4. Being avoidant of mistakes
5. Fear- and control-based child-rearing
6. Containing, restricting childrens movement too
much
1.

WHAT HAS CAUSED THESE

CHILD-REARING CHANGES?

SOURCES OF
INFORMATION

Parents say

dont let him play with older children

because Im afraid he will get hurt

dont let her out of my sight because

Im afraid someone will take her

Whats caused
child-rearing
changes in past
50+ years?

Busy Parents Need Conveniences -the good, bad and ugly

Conveniences:
the good, bad and ugly

Conveniences:
the good, bad and ugly

Parent-child time

What parents tell me

We both work pretty long hours.
So, when we finally get to spend time together,
we just want it to be enjoyable.
So, to avoid negative experiences together,
we give in whenever our child gets upset.

Parent Stress and Guilt

do affect child development.

Whatever
you want,
honey.

SUMMARY: US child-rearing changes

past 60 years involve

Underestimating young
children

Doing too much FOR them

and not letting them do
enough for themselves

Micromanaging them and

appeasing them too much

How does the Young Child Respond to

being Underestimated & Micromanaged?
In terms of

Initiative?
Persistence?

Personal Responsibility?

Confidence?
Relationships?
Citizenship?

Overprotection, overindulgence,
restriction of movement--

what are the effects on children?

Children experience more stress

now than before
Adolescents 1948 vs. 1989

1948

1989

I wake up fresh and rested most mornings.

74.6%

31.3%

I work under a great deal of tension.

16.2%

41.6%

Life is a strain for me much of the time.

9.5%

35.0%

I have certainly had more than my share of

things to worry about.

22.6%

55.2%

I am afraid of losing my mind.

4.1%

23.4%

Acting as though mistakes are to be avoided

what are the effects on children?

Doing too much for them, giving them whatever they demand--

what are the effects on children?

We are also emphasizing academic skills

earlier -- bad for child development

A better way?

Capitalize on their native intelligence.

Empower them to become increasingly capable and confident.

Keys Discovered through Observation of Unusually Mature,

Capable, Considerate Young Children in a Montessori School
When we observe unusually mature behavior and emerging executive functions,

What are the

adults doing
that seems to
support that?

What about the

environment seems
to support that?

How are the

environment and adult
behavior supporting this
mature behavior

different from
more common
approaches to
young children?

identification of inter-related keys to bringing out the

best in young children
Ginny Trierweiler, PhD & Deborah Silvis, PhD Candidate

Observation: Adults treated young children

as though they possessed great
native intelligence and natural learning drives.

Observation: Adults gave young children

many opportunities to practice with
important skills that predict success in life.
Executive Functions

Initiative

Attention, focus, and

concentration

Persistence and ability to

tolerate frustration

Self-control and selfdiscipline

1st Key-- Support their Initiative

let them CHOOSE their work

Support their Initiative

The hands are the strongest link to the brain.

Free their hands and bodies

to free their minds

2. Promote ACTIVE,
Self-Directed
Learning
Learning is DOING
and Doing is
LEARNING!

Observation: Adults gave early opportunities for

young children to do for themselves what they could

What kinds of skills is he developing here?

Cognitive

Language

Social

Emotional

Physical

Spiritual

3. Give
opportunities for
observation and
mixed age play

Older and younger

children benefit

4. Give

them REAL,
CHALLENGING WORK

They learn more from

challenging work

Give them Real,

Challenging
Work

Let them do real work

Real work
engages the
mind

5. Let them WORK to their Hearts Content without

undue interrupting, directing, or correcting

Let them Work to their

Hearts Content

Let them Work to their

Hearts Content

We cannot know the consequences of

suffocating a spontaneous action at the time
when the child is just becoming active;
perhaps we suffocate life itself.

Maria Montessori

So far,
what can you take away?
1.

Support their initiative and let them choose their

work, whenever possible

2.

Promote active, self-directed learning

3.

Give opportunities for observation and mixed-age

play

4.

Give them real, challenging work

5.

Let them work to their hearts content without

undue interrupting, directing, correcting

Young children develop concentration and persistence

when adults support active, self-directed learning

6. Let them LEARN from

their own MISTAKES

The environment itself will teach the child,

if every little error he makes is manifest to him,
without the intervention of a parent or teacher,
who should remain a quiet observer of all that happens.
Maria Montessori

When adults allow

young children to
learn from their
own mistakes

Young children learn to correct

themselves and develop self-control

7. HELP JUST
ENOUGH

NO MORE
AND NO LESS
THAN NECESSARY

Help Just
Enough

8. Give them a MEANINGFUL

ROLE in the COMMUNITY

Focused, self-directed, contributive work

brings out the best in young children

9. BELIEVE in the young childs abilities

Respect the dignity of the

young child
Elements of dignity:

Being accepted and

recognized for our unique
qualities

Being seen, heard,

acknowledged, responded to

Belonging and feeling

included

Freedom to be selfdetermined

Being treated in a fair and

evenhanded way

10. PREPARE the environment and

yourself to support their learning

When you prepare the

environment so that children
can actively participate
in the life of the community
Young children find a place

for themselves in the world

and they participate

constructively

If you want to teach, never

forget how people learn

We Learn by Observing

Never forget how children learn and develop

Try to do
something

Play /Work
at it

Develop
increasing skill

Questions for determining whether your approach is

hindering or optimizing child development:

1.

Does it trust in the childs abilities and avoid

underestimating?

2.

How does it capitalize on the young childs native

intelligence and avoid micromanaging?

Feedback
Biggest surprise
Something youd need to explore more to
believe

Most important takeaway?

What will you do differently to optimize child
development?

Call to Action
1. Pick 1 - 2 of the 9 optimizing
practices to focus on
increasing, and journal your
observations
2. Sign up for mailing list

PowerPoint handout
Articles on child development
Upcoming classes/ talks
Book release (March)