MarriageasWeKnowItvs.

MarriageasWeKnewIt

Everyyear,intheUnitedStatesalone,2,077,0001couplesmakealegalcommitmentto
eachothertospendtherestoftheirlivestogether
forbetter,forworse,forricher,forpoorer,in
sicknessandhealth,untildeath

do
[them]
part
.
M
any,ifnotall,youngAmericangirlsgrowup
dreaming,imaginingandanticipatingtheirweddingdaythedaytheyhavebeentoldnumerous
timesbythewomenintheirliveswouldbethehappiestdayofyourlife.Indeed,thetypical
Americangirlgrowingupinthesemoderntimesyearnstofindamanshelovesandwhowould
loveherbackequally.Theexpectationisthatwhenthetimeisright,sheandthemansheloves
willmarry,respectandcherisheachother
tilldeath.
Thus,fallinginlovewithanotherpersonis
consideredthefoundationofmodernmarriagetheinevitablefirststep.
However,thiswidelyunderstoodandpracticedperceptionofmarriageintheU.S.isa
relativelynewone.Inearlyhistory,fallinginlovewithanotherperson,usuallyoftheopposite
sex,wasntseenasanecessarypreconditionformarriage.Researchfrommarriagehistorian
StephanieCoontzsbook,
Marriage,aHistory:FromObediencetoIntimacy,orHowLove
ConqueredMarriage,
highlightsacommonthemewithinearlymarriages:whatslovegottodo
withit?ThroughmostofWesterncivilization,
marriage
hasbeenmoreamatterofmoney,
powerandsurvivalthanofdelicatesentiments(
PsychologyToday
).
InancientGreece,lovewasamanlything,honoredbetweenmenasmarriageoften
meantinheritanceofthewomansfamilypossessions,whichwaswaymoreimportantthan
feelings.InRenaissanceRome,wifeswappingwasseenasarespectedcareermove.Men(e.g.,
StatesmanMarcusPorciusCato)didnothesitatetodivorcewithortradetheirwivestoother

Accordingtothe2009U.SCensusBureau:

"U.S.CensusMarriagesandDivorcesNumberandRatebyState:1990to2009"

meninordertostrengthenandsolidifyfamilybonds.In12centuryEurope,aristocratic
marriageswereoftenarrangedbeforethecouplemet,becauselovewasseenasincompatible
withmarriage.TheFrenchessayistMontaignewrotethatanymaninlovewithhiswifewasa
mansodullthatnooneelsecouldlovehim.IntheUnitedStates,theideathatonedoesnt
needlovetogetmarriedcontinuedwellintothemid19thcentury.Foronething,womenwere
virtuallypowerlessandwhollydependentontheirhusbandswithrespecttorightsandpolitical
freedoms.Marriagewasexpectedforawomanasitprovidedthemeansforherpersonaland
familysurvivalwithinthesociety.
Allofthisbegantochangeinthe20thcenturytheeramarriagebegantobecomea
choice.Butwhy?Theeconomicsecuritythatthetwentiethcenturybroughttowomenwiththe
increaseinjobopportunitieswasonereason.Also,theoverallnumberofwomenenteringthe
workforcecompetitively,plusthenewfoundindependencethatwomengainedthroughsocial
andpoliticalrightsaffordedtotheminthe1920s,alongwiththelegalacceptanceof
contraceptioninthe1960sallimpactedtheinstitutionofmarriage.Thisnewfoundfreedomof
notneedingaman,gavebirthtochoice.So,
greaterrightsandopportunitiesforeconomic
independence,aswellasaccesstocontraceptives
fosteredthepracticeofonlymarryingsomeone
forlove.Marryingforlovehasbecomethenormarelativelycommonpracticeandexpectation
ofthemoderntimes.
The20sFeministMovementsandMarriage

Priortothesocialandpoliticalrightsaffordedtowomeninthe20s,uponmarriagea
womanwouldloseherlegal/politicalrightsthroughthecoverturelaw.I
nEnglishandAmerican
2

law,
coverturestatedthatuponmarriage,awomanslegalandpoliticalrightswerethoseofher
husbandasthenewcouplewasrecognizedbytheinstitutionasformingoneentity.Furthermore
t
heverybeingorlegalexistenceofthewomanissuspendedduringthemarriage,oratleast
incorporatedandconsolidatedintothatofthehusband:underwhosewing,protection,andcover,
sheperformseverything
(Blackstone442)
.
Thefactthatwomenwerebeingsubjugatedtotheir
husbandsbothinandoutsidethehomeonlyhelpedtoperpetuatethedependencyofwomenon
theirhusbandsaswellastheoverallperceptionthatwomenshouldmarryirrespectiveofwhether
theywereinloveornot.FrancescaM.CancianandStevenL.Gordonin
ChangingEmotion
NormsinMarriage:LoveandAngerinWomensMagazinesinthe1900s,
notedthatDuringthe
1920s...whenpeoplechallengedtheauthorityofthegovernment,andothermajorinstitutions,
emotionnormsbegantochallengetheauthorityofhusbandsovertheirwives(310).The
overlappingideologiesthatemanatedfrommanypowerfulcampaigns,suchasthefeminist
movement,aswellastheindustrialrevolutionledtoagreatersenseofawarenessofsocietal
norms,whichinturnledtodispleasurewiththemarriagenorm.Thefeministmovementand
kindredideologiescontinuedtoemphasizethefreedomofchoice,individualism,meritand
greaterequalitybetweenthesexes.
JeremyA.Rabkindocumentedhowmarriedwomenchangedintheeyesofthelawfrom
beingthepropertyoftheirhusbands,toautonomous,legallycompetentadults.Theratificationof
the19thAmendmentin1920grantingwomentherighttovotewasanexampleofthisgender
stride.Thistimeperiodalsomarksthefirstwaveofwomenenteringtheworkforceingreat

numbers.In1910,anestimated23%ofwomenweredocumentedtobeinthelaborforce2.Asthe
menlefttogofightinWWI,thewomentookovermanyofthejobstheyleftbehindsuchas
airplaneandautomotivemechanics,communitypolicingandsoon.Althoughthisincreasewas
shortlivedbecausethemensoonreturnedfromthewar,forcingmanywomenoutofthesejobs,
theexperiencenonethelessempoweredmanywomentowanttostayintheworkforce.

The50s/60sBirthControlandMarriage

Priortothe20thcentury,awomansrighttousebirthcontrolwasdeniedtherebylimiting
herchoicetohaveornothavechildren.Theserestrictionsonlyhelpedtocompoundexisting
lawsthathinderedwomenfrombeinglegallyindependentoftheirhusbands,suchascoverture.
ThemostrestrictiveoftheselawsweretheComstocklawswhichcriminalizedboththeuseof
anddistributionofobscene(birthcontrol)materialorinformation.Thislawwasaresultofthe
beliefthatmarriageforthepurposeofmakingafamilywasallthatawomanshouldwant.The
ultimateeffectofallthesepracticesthatkeptwomeninthehomeisthattheirhusbandsendedup
beingthesolebreadwinnersforthehousehold.Outragedbythis,thevoluntarymotherhood
movementemergedwomenfightingtomakemotherhoodadeliberatedecisionbyawomanand
notanobligationimposeduponherbythepowersthatbe.The20thcenturymadegreatstrides
towardssecuringandprotectingthatright.Withthebanofbirthcontrolbeingmadeillegalby
theSupremeCourt,lesswomenwerechainedtothehome.Beingabletocontrolwhentostarta
familyallowedwomentheprivilegetostayintheworkforce,securingtheirfinancialfuture.

Accordingtothe
U.S.DepartmentofEducation,NationalCenterforEducationStatistics

HelenFisher,abiologicalanthropologistandauthorof
Anatomyoflove:Anatural
historyofmating,marriage,andwhywestray
,says,Menhavebeenmoreeagertomarrywhen
theyrefinanciallystableandwomenhavewantedtomarrywhentheywantedchildren.(300)
Womengettingtherighttochoosewhentohavechildrenessentiallymeantestablishingtheright
tochoosewhentogetmarried.Furthermore,AmaliaMiller,UniversityofVirginiaEconomics
Professor,andauthorofTheeffectsofmotherhoodtimingoncareerpathapublishedstudy
linkingawomansuseofbirthcontroltoherearnings,writes,[Accesstothepill]narrowedthe
genderwagegap.Partofitwasthatthewomenwereabletobecomemotherslater,buttheother
partwastheyhadmorecontrol

overtimingoffertility(1085).Millersresearchshowedthat
womenwhohadaccesstobirthcontrolweremorelikelytoattendandgraduatefromcollege
becausetheycouldplantheirfamiliesandcareers.Thepillasaformoftechnologygavealot
morecontroltowomeningeneral.
Millersays.Asthepillallowedawomantocontrolboth
whentobecomeamotherandwhentojointheworkforce,thenecessityforearlymarriageor
marriageatallbecamelesscompelling.
The70s/80s:Allyouneedislove?
"By1970,"saidMarilynYalom,authorof
AHistoryoftheWife
,"marriagelawhad
becomegenderneutralinWesterndemocracies.(175)"Theriseofcontraceptiontransformed
marriagefromasocialobligationtoapersonalcontractbetweentwoindividualsseekinglove,
happinessandstability.Couplescouldchoosehowmanychildrentohaveordecidenottohave
anychildrenatall.Alongwiththisshiftcametheideaofdivorce:ifoneisnthappy,orfeelthey
areinalovelessrelationshiptheycanenditandnearlyhalfofallcouplesdid.Theannualrate

ofdivorcereacheditspeakinthe80s.The1970smarkedakindofmarriagerevolutionasthis
decadeplacedagreater...
emphasisonindividualchoiceandequality,[through]theirrejection
ofrigidgenderroles,CoontzsaidduringaHuffingtonPostInterview.Thistrendwas
exemplifiedinthe1970swhenthecourtsruledtoabolishlegalstatutesassigningdifferential
dutiesandrightstohusbandsandwives.Thisfosteredarisingperceptionofmarriageasan
individuallynegotiatedrelationshipamongstequals,replacingtherigidoldernotionofmarriage
asaprefabricatedinstitutionobeyingtraditionalrolesandrules.
Manyhistorians,suchasCoontz(inthesamehuffingtonpostinterview)alsoarguedthat
suchchangesinheterosexualmarriageemboldenedgayandlesbiancouplestodemand
marriagerightsandencouragedmanyheterosexualstoseesuchdemandsasreasonable.

The
shiftingperceptionofmarriage,indeed,theevolutionoftheconceptasawholehasmadethe
exclusionofspecificpeoplesfromitsbenefitsandobligationsunjust.Thegrowingacceptanceof
interracialmarriage(legalizedbysupremecourtcase,
Lovingv.Virginia
)aswellasthe
increasingacceptabilityofsamesexmarriage(legalizedbysupremecourtcase,
Obergefellv.
Hodges
)
isaresultoftheseprofoundchangesinheterosexualmarriage.Coontzwroteinher

2011
Newsday
article,MarriageEvolvesthat,Traditionalheterosexualmarriagedeniedthe
primacyofloveandfreechoiceinmateselection,sanctionedmaritalrape,prohibited
contraceptionandassistedreproduction,andassignedhusbandsandwivesdistinct,unequalroles
inmarriage.However,oncemarriagewasrevolutionized,gaysandlesbianssuddenlybeganto
demandtherighttojoinaninstitutionthatisnowsomuchmorerelevanttothemthaninthe
past,Coontzadded.

Marriage:Theultimateexpressionoflove

Marriageisrapidlybeingrecognizedastheultimateexpressionoflovec
omingfull
circle,backtotheeraoftheaforementionedyounggirlsenvisioningandanticipatingtheir
weddingday.Yet,bythesametoken,manyarguethatmarriagehasbecomesomewhatobsolete.
Why?Posingthatquestionopensupamultitudeofexplanationsfrompeopleineverysectorof
thenation.Somepoliticiansarguethatthepoliticizationofmarriagehashadadverseeffectson
theinstitution.Economistsviewmarriagethroughafinanciallens,arguingthattheworkforceor
capitalismhasimpactedmarriage.Marriagehistoriansdrawupongenderrelationstoanalyze
andexplaindecliningmarriagerates.Thereisnouniversalanswerorexplanationforthe
marriagenormsthatareprevalenttoday.However,RichardReeves,the
policydirectorofthe
CenteronChildrenandFamiliesattheBrookingsInstitution,advancesacompellingargumentin
hisarticle
HowtoSaveMarriageinAmerica,
arguingthat,Americanmarriageisnotdying.
Butitisundergoingametamorphosis...Reevesgoesontostatethat,Thedebateovermarriage
isalsohinderedbytreatingitasamonolithicinstitution.Today,itmakesmoresensetothinkof
marriages

ratherthanmarriage.
Somescholarsworryaboutmodernmarriageandtendtoconnectittotheshiftfrom
traditional,stablemarriagestodisposable,romantic(forlove)oneswhichAndrewCherlinin
hisarticle,
IntheSeasonofMarriage,aQuestion.WhyBother?
describesas
deinstitutionalization.AfterstudyingrelationshipsinpoorPhiladelphianeighborhoods,
KathrynEdinandMariaKefalas,authorsof,

WhyPoorWomenPutMotherhoodBefore
Marriage,
concludedthat,Marriageisaformofsocialbraggingaboutthequalityofthe
7

couplerelationship,apowerfullysymbolicwayofelevatingonesrelationshipaboveothersina
community,particularlyinacommunitywheremarriageisrare(128).
Ismarriagetodayonlyforshow?Tobeclear,thereisauniversalacceptanceand
understandingthatmarriagetodayisaboutloveandcompanionship.BetseyStevensonandJustin
Wolfers,intheirarticle
MarriageandtheMarket
describewhatwehavetodayashedonic
marriages
Asconsumptionincreases,sotoowillthedemandtohavesomeonewithwhomto
sharethesepleasures.Thusmarriageisntdead,itis,again,transforming.Contrarytopopular
assumption,divorcerateshavefallenandaccordingtoaTIME/Pewresearchpollonlyonein
fourunmarriedAmericanssaytheydonotwanttogetmarried3.Additionally,Coontzwrotein
her2010CNNarticle
Ismarriagebecomingobsolete,
that,amongcurrentlymarriedmenand
women,80percentsaythattheirmarriageisascloseorclosertotheirparentsmarriage.What
iscertainisthatpublicopinionaboutmarriageandtheactualmarriagetrendswillcontinueto
evolveasthedynamicsanddemographicsofmarriageseemtobeforeverchanging.

References

directintextreferences:

1. Coontz,Stephanie.
Marriage,ahistory:Howloveconqueredmarriage
.Penguin,2006.
2. PsychologyToday
,Marriage,AHistory,pub.May1,2005,
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200505/marriagehistory
3. Blackstone,William."CommentariesontheLawsofEngland."vol.1(1765):44245.Web.27Oct.2015.
3

PewResearchCentersurvey,Jan.23March16,2014

4.
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15.

Cancian,FrancescaM.,andStevenL.Gordon."Changingemotionnormsinmarriage:Loveandangerin
USwomen'smagazinessince1900."
Gender&Society
2.3(1988):308342.
Rabkin,Jeremy."SuccessoftheSeparationofPowersanditsContemporaryFailings,The."
BYUL.Rev.
(1987):1003.
Fisher,HelenE.
Anatomyoflove:Anaturalhistoryofmating,marriage,andwhywestray.
Ballantine
Books,1994.
Miller,AmaliaR."Theeffectsofmotherhoodtimingoncareerpath."
JournalofPopulationEconomics
24.3(2011):10711100.
Yalom,Marilyn.
AHistoryoftheWife
.HarperCollins,2009.
Institute,Omega."MarriageandGenderEqualityToday:AnInterviewWithStephanieCoontz."
The
HuffingtonPost
.TheHuffingtonPost.com,8Sept.2014.Web.29Oct.2015.
Coontz,Stephanie."MarriageEvolves."
MarriageEvolves
.
Newsday
,26June2011.Web.29Oct.2015.
Reeves,RichardV."HowtoSaveMarriageinAmerica."
TheAtlantic.
AtlanticMediaCompany,13Feb.
2014.Web.27Oct.2015.
Cherlin,AndrewJ."ThedeinstitutionalizationofAmericanmarriage."
JournalofMarriageandFamily
66.4(2004):848861.
Edin,Kathryn,andMariaKefalas.
PromisesIcankeep:Whypoorwomenputmotherhoodbefore
marriage
.UnivofCaliforniaPress,2011.
Stevenson,Betsey,andJustinWolfers."Marriageandthemarket."
CatoUnbound
(2008).
Coontz,Stephanie."IsMarriageBecomingObsolete?"
CNN
.CableNewsNetwork,22Nov.2010.Web.29
Oct.2015.

generalresearchreferences:

1. Isen,Adam,andBetseyStevenson.
Women'seducationandfamilybehavior:trendsinmarriage,divorce
andfertility
.No.w15725.NationalBureauofEconomicResearch,2010.
2. StephanieHallett,"MarriageRateInAmericaDropsDrastically,"HuffingtonPost,2011DEC14,at:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/
3. Greenfield,SidneyM."LoveandMarriageinModernAmerica:AFunctionalAnalysis*."
TheSociological
Quarterly
6.4(1965):361377.
4. Gray,John.
MenArefromMars,WomenArefromVenus:TheClassicGuidetoUnderstandingthe
OppositeSex
.NewYork:HarperCollinsPublishers,2004.Print.