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Breathe into Me
Copyright 2013 by Amanda Stone

Cover design by Sarah Hansen of Okay

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This is a work of fiction. Names,
characters, places, brands, media, and
incidents are either the product of the
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Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author

To my husband, sister, and friends for

pushing me to do something I never
thought myself capable of doing.

I couldn't believe it. Here I was,

standing outside the dorm room I'd be
living in with my best friend, Jessi. I took
a deep breath as I stared at the grain in the
wooden door that held the room I would
call home for the next ten months. Looking
back six years ago, I never thought I'd
make it to this point, but I was ready to
begin my new chapter.
Balancing the box that held the last of
my belongings on my hip, I slowly turned
the brass colored knob and made my way
into the room. Setting the box on the bed, I
took a minute to take in my new

surroundings. The room was larger than

you would expect for a dorm. We each
had our own twin-size bed and desk
sitting straight across from one another.
The closets were a fairly decent size and I
could detect a light scent of fresh paint, as
though they had just finished painting the
pale yellow walls.
There was a closed door to my left that
I knew led into the adjoining bathroom. I
wasnt too keen on the idea of having to
shower in a room full of strangers, so the
fact that this dorm had adjoining
bathroomsinstead of a community
bathroomwas already a big plus on my
list. The first being that Jessi and I were
actually able to room together. I dont
think I could have handled living with a
complete stranger for almost an entire

year either I was seriously lacking in

the people skills department these days.
Walking over to my bed, I sat down and
smiled when the sun coming through the
window reflected on the silver bracelet on
my slender wrist. Out of habit I flipped
through the tiny charms, each one holding
a special meaning. I hadnt taken this
bracelet off in six years. It was the only
thing I had left of her. I couldnt help but
smile at the thought of how proud she
would be of me at this moment. Making it
to collegedoing something that she had
not been able to do herself.
Over the past six years I had changed
from the carefree, outgoing girl I had once
been, to being a shell of my former self.
While I missed that part of me and wished
I could get her back, I couldnt help but

think she was gone forever. That girl had

been stolen from me.
Jessi never gave up hope that I would
find my way back to the person I used to
be. She was constantly dragging me
around with her to a few parties and gettogethers with the people I used to call my
friends. But I could always tell the
atmosphere would change the minute I
stepped into the room. No one knew how
to act around me anymore. Jess always
tried to tell me it was in my head, but I
knew the truth. They all felt sorry for me.
The door to the room flew open and
connected with the wall with a loud bang
causing the room to slightly vibrate and
pulling me from my thoughts. I turned to
find Jessis back standing in the doorway,
her tiny frame trying its best to drag one

of the four hot pink suitcases she had

packed full of God knows what through
the door.
Little help here? she grunted as she
tugged on the suitcase, which must have
been hung up on something because even
with all her efforts the heavy case didnt
budge.
I told you not to bring all that crap, I
huffed as I got up from my bed. Where
are you even going to put it all?
Blowing a piece of her strawberry
blonde hair from her forehead, she glared
at me. In your closet duh. I saw how
much you packed up and believe me girl;
youre going to be thanking me for being
overly accessorized, she finished with a
wink.
I wrapped my hand around the handle

next to hers and pulled. With both of us

pulling, the case finally hopped over the
small piece of trim that separated the tile
floor in the hallway from the hardwood in
our dorm allowing Jessi to continue to roll
it into the room.
I rolled my eyes and went about
unpacking my things. She was kind of
right, I didnt bring much, but, really, what
would I need? I was here thanks to a
couple scholarships, which meant I would
need to buckle down and make sure I
studied hard. Studying attire didnt really
consist of more than an old comfy hoodie
and sweat pants if you ask me.
Hey, after we get all this stuff put
away you wanna go get a bite to eat? Im
starving, Jess grunted as she tried forcing
a tote that was completely full of shoes

under her bed.

Knowing it would be months before we
could eat at our favorite hometown pizza
place again, wed stopped to enjoy it one
last time before heading out of town. And
other than a quick potty break, we didnt
stop again on our five-hour drive here.
With Jessi mentioning food, and it being
hours since Id last eaten, my stomach
decided to growl so loud that I wouldnt
be surprised if the whole dorm heard it.
Ill take that as a yes? She raised her
eyebrow at me and laughed.
I nodded. If I didnt get something to eat
soon I would probably be tempted to eat
the umpteen amounts of flavored lip gloss
I knew Jessi was packing somewhere in
this disaster of a mess we I mean she
created.

I walked across the room and grabbed

one of her totes, sending up a silent prayer
this one would not hold the lip gloss I was
just thinking about. Even though pia
colada flavored gloss was extremely tasty,
I was quite positive that it was not meant
to be digested.
Let me help you or Ill die of
starvation before you get all your stuff
away.

Not knowing where the local hotspots

were, we decided to try a caf wed
passed on our drive in. It was just around
the corner from campus and the weather
was perfect for the short walk.
Mmm, mmm. Oh God. Is your

sandwich as good as mine? Or am I just

that hungry?
Looking around, I found Jessis
sandwich moans had earned us a few
pleased looks from a table of guys sitting
across the caf.
Leaning in across our table I
whispered, Could you please keep your
sandwich orgasms down to a minimum?
Youre giving that table over there a free
show. I slightly nodded my head in the
direction of the delighted audience still
staring at us.
Having no shame, Jessi spun all the
way around in her chair and stared straight
at a table of decent looking guys sitting
across the caf and winked.
Gah, Jess? Really?
What? The one in the blue is super

cute. She shrugged and turned back to

face me again, popping a potato chip into
in her mouth.
Glancing back to the table I could see
the one in the blue was actually quite
attractive with his dirty blond hair styled
to look like he had just crawled out bed.
His blue shirt was a perfect match to his
eyes, eyes that were currently starting
straight at the back of Jessis head.
I slightly raised my chin in his direction
and lowered my voice, Well, I think you
made a fan over there. He hasnt stopped
looking at you.
Jessi glanced over her shoulder. She
and Mr. Blue Shirt exchanged smiles
before she suddenly stood and made her
way toward him. This didnt surprise me
at all. Jessi has never had a shy bone in

her body. We used to be alike in that

aspect, but my past had changed me so
much. It was hard to be around people
after the incident, with all their stares and
whispers. I began to seclude myself and
everyone found that to be just fine. No one
went out of their way to talk to me and I
pretty much kept to myself, with the
exception of Jessi. But finally being here
at college, hundreds of miles away from
that place and all its history, maybe there
was hope that I would be able to find my
way back to the person I used to be.
While Jessi flirted, I plucked at the
label on my water bottle until I heard the
door chime signaling someone had come
in. Out of habit, I look up to see a nice set
of broad shoulders in a tight black t-shirt.
My eyes slowly slid down his body to his

muscular armsarms that were covered

from his wrist up, disappearing under his
shirt, in tattoos. Id never really given
much thought to tattoos before, but here in
this moment I couldnt think of anything
hotter.
I watched him walk over to the table
Jessis new friend and the other guys were
occupying. Mr. Blue Shirt saw him
coming and stood to give him one of those
weird guy-handshake-hug things. When he
finished greeting the rest of the guys, he
grabbed a chair from a nearby table and
sat down.
Spinning the black ball cap he was
wearing around to the back, the tattooed
guy slid his aviators down his nose and
our eyes connected for a moment before
he continued his conversation with the rest

of the table. I hadnt miss the fact that he

had the most blinding set of gray eyes I
had ever seen. These werent just gray;
they were almost silver. It was almost as
if they shined. I had never in all my life
seen a set of eyes like his. I had been so
distracted by his eyes that I didnt notice
Jessi walking back to our table until she
started waving her hand in front of my
face.
Earth to Kelsey. You ready to get outta
here?
Uhyeah, yeah. I was just waiting on
you, I lied. I was still distracted by those
tattoos and eyes.
Well, come on. Lets get out of here,
she said, pulling me from my seat and
toward the exit. I chanced a glance over
my shoulder and found a set of gray eyes

watching me as I walked out the door.

We explored the campus the rest of the

afternoon and made sure we knew where
all our classes were, and the quickest
route to the little coffee stands in between
each class, before heading back to the
dorm. On the walk back, I took in all my
new surroundings. The campus really was
beautiful. The sidewalks were lined with
colorful flowers, and there were sparsely
placed trees throughout the courtyard. I
found that most of the classes were held in
the older buildings while the majority of
the dorms were in the newer ones. You
could tell they built the newer buildings to
match the older ones with their high

pillars and light red brick exterior.

I was surprised campus wasnt all that
crowded yet. We had wanted to come as
early as possible today and get settled in
so we could take the afternoon to explore
campus and get a feel for things before
classes started on Monday. But with
yesterday being the first day students were
allowed to move into the dorms, my guess
was people would start showing up this
afternoon or early tomorrow morning.
Jessis parents anniversary had fallen on
the weekend that we were able to move
in, and since it was the two of us we
figured we could handle the move
ourselves. Jessis mom, Carol, wasnt
thrilled about missing out on helping us
decorate our dorm, but her dad, Jay, had
planned a surprise trip for their 25th

anniversary months ago and there was no

way we were letting them miss it just to
help us get settled.
I was glad we had made the decision to
come a little earlier so that I had an extra
day to get all the books and supplies I
might need. My course load was pretty
heavy but nothing I couldnt handle. I
knew it was going to be hard and would
take a lot of dedication but thats what I
was here for.
When we had fully explored every part
of the campus, we headed back to the
dorm. The car ride here had been the most
uncomfortable five hours of my life due to
the fact that I had to scoot my seat up as
far to the dash as possible to allow enough
room in the back seat for all of Jessis
crap. So to say I was tired and in need of

a catnap was an understatement.

I couldnt stop yawning while we
waited for the elevator. I think Im going
to crash when we get to the room. I
covered my mouth as yet another yawn
escaped me.
Better make that a power nap. Were
going out tonight, she replied with a
mischievous smile.
Seriously, Jess? Its our first night
here. Cant we just have tonight to lie
around and be lazy? I was not feeling
like having a night out. Truthfully, all I
wanted to do was throw on some sweats
and sleep until tomorrow morning.
Well you see, heres there thing. You
know the hottie from the caf? Well, he
asked me to meet him at some bar tonight
called Shots.

I rolled my eyes. This involves me

how? And why did you wait so long to tell
me? You have had all afternoon to let me
know that you were planning this bar
rendezvous yet you wait until now?
I didnt want to fight about it all
afternoon. She shrugged. I knew you
would be all, No I think I will just stay at
the dorm and dont you give me that look!
You know its the truth!
She had a point. It would have been a
fight all afternoonher trying to convince
me to go, me being stubborn and saying
no.
Please, Kels, please? Do this for me?
she begged.
How could I say no to her? She was my
best friend and had been there with me
every step of the way through the worst

times in my life. Always dropping

anything she was doing to make sure she
was there for me if I needed her. Going so
far as canceling some of her own dates
just so I wouldnt have to sit at home
alone, and all she was asking me to do
was pull the stick out of my ass and enjoy
a night out with her.
All right, fine. But I still want my nap!
You and all your crap had me in the dash
for five hours so you owe me that much.
I wasnt sure if she even heard the rest
of my sentence because as soon as I said
fine she squealed and did a little jump
right there in the dorm lobby. I held back
my laugh at her excitement over this. Was
it really that hard to believe I would
agree? Had I really became that much of a
sour puss?

We stepped inside when the elevator

doors finally opened, and Jess pushed the
button to our floor. Maybe tonight would
be just what I needed. Lord knows I could
use some fun in my life.
When we made it back to our dorm
room, I rid myself of my jeans and threw
on some sweats. I was beyond tired but
found that sleep wasnt coming as easily
as I thought it would. My bed with its
nice, cool sheets had only brought me
back to a cool set of gray eyes. Would I
ever be able to forget them? This was all
so crazy to me; here I was lying in bed
daydreaming about a stranger. How much
more stalker could I get? But it was true,
those eyes would forever be burned into
my brain and I drifted off to sleep still
thinking about them.

Kelsey! Wake up! I couldnt

understand why my bed was shaking so
much and for a minute I thought there was
an earthquake. But, no, it was just Jessi
hovering over me, shaking the mattress
with her tiny arms. To be so little, she
sure was a strong one.
Im up! Now stop shaking me before I
get motion sickness and throw up all over
your pretty little outfit.
Of course Jessi was already dressed.
She was wearing her tiny black shorts that
she swore made her butt look perfect, and
her blood red halter top that had her girls

on full display. Her makeup was fixed to

perfection, like always. Jessi could do a
smokey eye like no ones business, and it
made her green eyes pop.
Looking at the clock I saw it was
already 9:30 P.M. and we had been
planning to leave around 10:00 P.M. That
only left me thirty minutes to get ready. I
was going to kill her for letting me sleep
so late!
Jess! Its already 9:30! How could you
let me sleep that long?
Shrugging, she turned around to the
mirror to put yet another coat of gloss on
her perfectly plump lips. I was trying to
let you rest. Then I got distracted by what
I should wear.
Perfect. Just perfect. I hated getting
ready in a rush.

Jessi, how in the world am I going to

get ready in thirty minutes? Maybe we
should just stay in tonight, I said as I
pulled the covers back up around my neck
and rolled to face the wall.
Come on Kels. I told that guy I would
meet him there. Hes gorgeous too. You
saw him! I cant just stand him up. She
pouted.
I really was torn. While I wanted to go
and try to have a good time, I had become
so accustomed to staying in and letting
Jessi go do her own thing, but I couldnt
just let her go to a bar all by herself. This
was a new town. We didnt know anyone
else here. So I grumpily sat up in my bed
and sighed. Fine, let me throw something
on real quick. Since I obviously wont
have time to get all dolled up like you.

YES! Thats my girl! Here, let me help

you pick something out, she said as she
went to her closet and began to dig
around. No matter what you wear youre
gonna look hot, girl. You could wear those
old nasty sweats and tank you have on
now and the boys would still be falling at
your feet.
I rolled my eyes. I wouldnt consider
myself ugly, but I was not all that
attractive. I had my moms lean body and
long, light brown hair that always had a
nice curl on the ends so I never really had
to worry about styling it too much.
Looking down at my sweats, I actually
considered keeping them on for the night.
They may be stained, but they were the
most comfortable pair I owned and I
would never part with them. The stains

were actually from when Jessi and I

painted the spare bedroom in her house
where Id lived these last six years. For
the first couple years I lived in that room,
I refused to change anything. Not the wall
color, not the pale flowery bedspread that
screamed guestroom nothing. It wasnt
my home. Not to me anyway.
It wasnt until my sixteenth birthday that
Jessi and her mom surprised me with a
trip to the hardware store and Bed Bath
and Beyond for all the supplies to make
that room my own. I told them it wasnt
necessary. That I wanted them to still be
able to lend out the room to family that
would come in from out of town, but they
insisted that the room was mine and mine
alone. That it was time that I started living
like a member of their family, and not a

guest.
The bedspread I bought that day was the
one I brought with me to college. Being it
was only a few years old and finally
losing that new bedspread stiffness, I
passed when they offered to take me out to
buy a new set just for my dorm.
Jessi was still raddling on and I pulled
my eyes away from my sweats and their
special memories to look at her.
Youre going to have a great time. Just
wait til all the hotties there see you walk
in. Youre going to be thanking me by the
time we leave and you have a nice piece
of man candy to play with.
OneI ticked off on my fingerIm
not looking for any hotties. Two, Im just
doing my best friend duties and
accompanying my promiscuous friend to a

bar so that I can be sure shes not slipped

a date rape drug, and carted off to be sold
as some sex slave.
Sex slave? Really, Kels? Jessi said,
rolling her eyes at me.
I shrugged. I just call em like I see
em. I finally got up and walked over to
her closet to help her find me something to
wear. I wanted to look good but I didnt
want to look like I was parading my girls
for everyone to see. Jessi and I used to be
alike in so many ways except when it
came to fashion. Where my fashion tastes
were more along the lines of leave-themguessing hers were a little on the stripper
side.
My God, Kelsey! Would it kill you to
actually have a good time? Jessi huffed
and stepped out of my way to pull her

long, red locks up into a high ponytail. She

had already perfectly curled it so that
when she pulled it up it framed her face
nicely and stuck out in all the right places
making it look all messy chic.
Im sorry, Jess. Just with classes
starting tomorrow, and now that Im going
to have to keep my grades up to keep my
scholarships. Im just stressin I guess.
Plus, you know how long it has been since
I have actually gone out. I probably dont
even remember how to have a good time
anymore.
I hated being the stick in the mud, but it
was true. I was so used to keeping to
myself that Id probably lost all the social
skills Id once had. And my scholarships
were the only thing keeping me here so I
couldnt go crazy and have too much of a

good time like most college kids. Jess

didnt have to worry about anything like
that though. Her parents had saved for her
brother and her to go to college since they
were born. Mine not so much. I didnt
work my ass off all through high school
and take AP classes to get here and flunk
out.
Kels, if anyone can do this its you.
You have always been the most driven
person I know, Jessi said as she crossed
the small dorm room and wrapped me up
in a tight hug. It will all work out. I
promise. She held up her pinky and I
wrapped mine around it. From as far back
as I can remember, we had being doing
this. It was always our way of letting each
other know it was going to be all right.
Okay! Thats enough of all this mushy,

stressful talk. Bring on the boys and the

booze! And with that, my Jessi was back,
and it made me smile. Never too serious
for too long.
I was sure this bar was going to be full
of touchy, drunken, frat boys but what
the hell. I could use a drink.

Jessi had called a cab while I finished

getting ready, and it pulled up the minute
we stepped out of the dorm. We climbed
in, and she proceeded to tell the driver the
address to the bar we would be going to. I
played with my charms out of habit on the
short drive over. We ended up in front of
black building with a blue and purple
neon sign of the word Shots with a shot

glass tipping back forth at the end.

Classy, I muttered under my breath as
we got out of the cab and went toward the
door.
Thank God there wasnt a long line, and
wed made it to the doorman within a few
minutes. Im not one hundred percent sure
if he couldnt actually tell our IDs were
fake, or if he just didnt care. Either way,
he gave us a nod to go on in.
We stepped into a dimly lit hallway that
led to the actual bar. With each step we
took, the music that was playing grew
louder and louder. We finally made it to
the end of the dark hall and emerged into a
sea or different color flashing lights. The
bars back home were nothing like this.
They were more along the lines of dive
bars just an old wooden bar with

everyones uncle sitting around smoking

cheap cigars, and drinking cheap beer.
Shots to me was more along the lines of
nightclub rather than a bar, with its huge
dance floor and lounge areas.
There are a lot of people here, I
shouted into Jessis ear so she could hear
me over the music.
Yeah, Shots is the closest bar to the
college. Everyone always ends up here.
Or so I was told. You want to get a drink
before we do some dancing? She smiled.
I nodded my head. Drinks then
dancing. Lets go do this. If I was going
to be cramped around all these people for
the next few hours, the sooner I got some
alcohol in my system, the better. I had
always loved dancing. Losing myself in
the music. What I didnt love was the

grabby pervs that thought any female

dancing alone was fair game to pretty
much sexually assault. There were so
many people here tonight that I was sure I
was going to end up kneeing someone in
the balls before the night was over.
We walked around the edge of the
dance floor and made our way toward a
long black bar. Jess waved one of the
bartenders over and ordered us a
strawberry long island iced tea. After the
bartender handed me my drink, I turned
around to face the dance floor. It was
really hard to tell who was dancing with
whom; it just looked like one big, body
mass with everyone grinding against each
other.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw
someone come up beside Jessi. A quick

glance confirmed it was the guy from the

caf earlier that day. I never did ask her
his name. I wonder if she even asked
him? He leaned down to say something in
her ear, and put his hand on her waist, and
I watched as she smiled up at him before
saying something back in his ear. The
music was so loud I couldnt hear what
they were talking about, but he smiled
back down at her. When she started
running her finger back and forth across
his chest, I decided Id seen enough. I
knew all of Jessis moves, and knew
exactly where this was going. But when I
went to turn, I found myself face-to-chest
with someone.
I slowly dragged my eyes up a black vneck shirt, to a small silver hoop wrapped
around a lip, and then up to a set of clear,

gray eyes. I remember those eyes. I

havent been able to get them out of my
mind all day. I had been so distracted by
them earlier; Id never even noticed that
his lip was pierced. Another thing I never
thought I would find attractive but I was
beginning to believe this man could make
mud look good.
Now that he wasnt wearing his ball
cap anymore, I could see he had short,
dark hair. It was probably black, but I
couldnt be sure in the dim lighting of the
bar. All I knew was his dark hair was a
nice offset to those light gray eyes.
Easy there. he said as he reached out
to steady me by wrapping his large hands
around my upper arms.
IIm so sorry, I stutter. Stutter?
Ive never stuttered. How can someone

who has literally said two words to me

have me acting like a complete moron?
Not a problem, he replied with a
wide smile causing two deep dimples to
sink into each of his cheeks. Oh the
dimples. Ive always been a sucker for
dimples.
My name is Kane. Kane Riley.
Kelsey Rien, I told him as I tried not
to stare, but it was proving to be
impossible for me to do. Hes probably
the best looking guy Ive seen in a while.
Who am I kidding? Hes probably the
best looking Ive seen in all my life. His
shirt fit tight on his massive toned arms,
and with him standing this close, I could
get a better look at the tattoos covering
them. I couldnt really make out what any
of them were, but I could see that there

wasnt one bit of color to them. Im no

tattoo expert, but Im pretty sure that style
would be considered black and gray.
He finally let go of my armsthat I had
forgotten he was holdingand as his arm
dropped, it caught a flash of light from the
dance floor and I wouldve sworn I
caught a face staring back at me from his
forearm before it fell to his side. I was
still checking out his tattoos when I heard
a sultry voice.
There you are, Kane. Long time no
see, the voice cooed. I dragged my eyes
away from his tats to find a very pretty,
very angry looking, dark-haired girl
glaring at me.
Katie. He nodded.
Where have you been lately? I havent
seen you in a while. She continued her

attempt to carry on the conversation as if I

wasnt even standing there.
Kane didnt even take his eyes off mine
as he replied, Around. Just out tonight
with Landon.
He nodded to something behind me, so I
turned just in time to see Jessis tongue
make its way into the mouth of the guy
from the caf; but at least I finally have a
name for this kid. Id kind of worried I
would have to refer to him as Mr. Blue
Shirt for the rest of my life.
When I turned back around and away
from my friends massive form of PDA, I
found Kane still staring at me. I felt a
blush creep up my chest and gave him a
slight smile. Something that didnt go over
too well with this Katie. Her eyes
narrowed at me as she leaned up to

Kanes ear.
Well since its been a while, why
dont we get out of here and I rolled
my eyes and suppressed a gag as she went
on to tell him her great plans in his ear.
Kane gave her a little shove but then
replied with a smug smile, Sounds like a
plan. Ill find you a little later. All right?
The Katie girl seductively smiled up at
him, and then glared at me before she
sashayed off through the bar.
He turned to rest his elbows on bar and
sighed. Definitely not going there again,
he mumbled before taking a swig from a
bottle of water.
I gave him a questioning look. Didnt
he just tell her he would find her later?
Sorry about that. He looked over at
me and said, She can be a bit clingy.

No need to apologize, I told him. Ill

let you get back to your girlfriend. I was
just going to get another drink anyway. I
twisted around to the bar, ready to flag the
bartender over, when I felt a hot body
press against my side.
Let me get it for you. It can be hard to
get the bartenders attention sometimes,
He said, leaning in close to my ear. My
body involuntarily shivered, and I prayed
to God he didnt notice.
When I finally composed myself again,
I looked down to the other end of the bar,
and, sure enough, I see the bartender
playing with a strand of blonde hair that
belongs to a girl leaning over the bar,
giving him full view of her cleavage.
Really, Im fine. You better go. She
seemed to have big plans for you. I

nodded in the direction the little hussy

walked off in.
Hussy? Who am I to call this girl a
hussy? I dont know her from Eve. But I
cant ignore the awful feeling swirling
around in my gut that I can only classify
as jealousy. Except what do I have to be
jealous over? I just met this guy. I dont
even know him. The only thing I know is
his name is Kane, and that I am no doubt
completely attracted to him but I cant
for the life of me figure out why. Hes
nothing like the type of guys Im used to
swooning over.
Really, I insist.
I could only stare at him and wonder
why he would want to make a girl who
was obviously ready and willing to roll
around in the sheetsprobably dirty

sheets at thatwait on him just to get me a

drink? But I didnt linger on that question
long, because honestly I didnt want him
to go yet. I wanted him to stay there with
me, and stay far away from her.
Thanks. I nodded and he curled two
fingers into his mouth and let out a loud
whistle.
DAVE! he shouted and threw his arm
up in a come-here motion. The bartender
raised his head in our direction and gave
Kane a smile, before turning back to his
lady to tell her what I guessed was
goodbye, and made his way to us.
So, youre new? I dont think Ive ever
seen you around here before, Kane
asked, obviously trying to make small talk
while we waited for the bartender to get
to us.

Yep. Just got here today actually. I

start classes Monday at the U with my
friend, Jessi I pauseshe would be
the one who is currently sucking face with
your friend over there.
We both looked over to see that they
were indeed still going at it. Man, Jess,
dont you ever come up for air?
She seems nice? he laughed and I
couldnt help but also giggle. Jessi was a
nice girl but she was also a spitfire and
fiercely loyal to the people she loved
most. She was a few inches shorter than
me, standing around five foot two, but
dont let her height fool you. Jessi could
beat the shit out of girls twice her size.
Believe me, Id seen it. Most of her more
recent fights came from defending me in
some wayeven though she didnt need

to. It wasnt like I couldnt fight my own

battles. That was just Jessi though. You
didnt mess with the people she cared
about.
Well, anyway, they seem to be hitting
it off pretty good. If things keep going this
way, we may be seeing a lot more of each
other. he said as he bumped my shoulder
with his. I couldnt help the little smile I
got at the thought of seeing more of him.
Um, I dont think your girlfriend would
like that too much, I said, remembering
the evil glare Id gotten earlier just from
talking to him.
He scrunched his brow and gave me a
truly puzzled look. What girlfriend?
I waved my arm in the direction that
shed strutted off in. The one who is
waiting for you to come find her so she

can get you somewhere and get all naked

for you.
Just thinking about that girl all cozied
up to his side made me feel uneasy. I
didnt know what it was about him, but I
couldnt stop thinking about how those
tattooed arms would feel wrapped around
me. Holding me tight. And how it would
feel to pull that lip ring between my teeth
and give it a little tug
Who, Katie? he asked, again jarring
me from my train of thought that was
headed in a seriously steamy direction. I
blushed just at the thought of him knowing
what I had been thinking about doing to
him.
Huh? Oh yeah. That was her name I
think. I so didnt think. I knew, but I
didnt want him to know I was paying

such close attention to anything that

involved him.
He threw his head back and let out a
long laugh, taking me by surprise for a
minute. Oh shit, could he see my blush?
Did he know what I had been thinking
about doing to him?
Katie is not my girlfriend, he stated
strongly.
I narrowed my eyes at him. Oh, dont
give me that crap. By the way she had her
nails dug into you, I would beg to differ,
I argued. If she isnt his girlfriend now,
she must have been at some point. You
dont get fiercely protective over
someone you dont have, or have never
had, feelings for. Whether hed had them
for her or not, was not the point. Shed
clearly had some claim staked on him, and

was not going to let him go without a fight.

No really. Shes not. Shes a close
friend that I used to have. He finished
with a chuckle and I rolled my eyes at his
attempt to get out of coming right out and
saying she was or used to be his fuck
buddy.
Well still, I dont get involved with
guys who whore around.
Which was true. I had never been
attracted to the player type. I believed in
commitment. I believed in love. And I
never understood how some people could
give their whole body to someone without
knowing for a fact, that person was fully
committed to them.
He took a step back and grabbed his
chest. Im shocked you would make such
accusations about me. After all, we did

just meet. He winked. Oh god, did he

have to wink? This man oozed enough sex
appeal without kicking it up a notch with a
sexy-as-hell wink.
So are you going to tell me you
dont? I held firm in my argument. I was
going to figure out as much about this man
as I could. This crazy attraction had
shaken me up, and I didnt want it leading
me down a dead-end road.
No, actually, I dont whore around
as you so crudely put it. He bumped my
shoulder in a joking manner. I guess letting
me know he wasnt truly offended by my
statement. I simply take enjoyment in the
company of beautiful women from time to
time, and they take enjoyment in me I
might add. He finished with a big smile.
Ugh. Youre impossible.

Oh, come on. You have to get to know

me. You might find out that Im actually a
pretty good time. He waggled his
eyebrows and I felt the need to slap them
right off his face. Who did he think he
was?
I am so NOT having sex with you,
perv! I all but shouted, and then glanced
around to make sure no one was paying
attention to us. I couldnt believe I had just
shouted that out like that. He was
downright infuriating.
He seemed to find my outburst quite
amusing and laughed back to me, I never
said anything about sex. Now did I? I just
thought we could be friends. You took that
to a whole new level. He paused then
cocked his head sideways. Now whos
the perv? He finished, taking another

long sip from a bottle of water. I could

feel my face heat up. Damn he had me
there. He never said anything about
sleeping together. I had made that
assumption on my own. Maybe wishful
thinking on my part? Just being around him
for five minutes had me dunking my mind
in the gutter. Who am I becoming around
this stranger?
Okay then, how about we start over?
I said, flipping my brown locks over each
of my squared shoulders and stuck out my
hand. Kelsey Rien. Nice to meet you.
He looked at my hand for a second, then
back up to my face. He knocked my hand
away, and then scooped me up in a bear
hug. Friends dont shake hands. Friends
hug!
I laughed and returned the hug. When I

pulled back and smiled up at him, he was

looking down at me with a smile on his
fa c e . Damn, there are those dimples
again. What am I getting myself into?
Before the embrace had ended, a
shouting and shoving match had started up
behind me. Kanes head whipped up fast,
and before I knew it, I was standing
behind him. Taking a peek around his arm,
I could see two guys shove at each before
one took a swing. Kane automatically
grabbed my hand and led me through the
crowd, toward the hallway and front
entrance.
I need you to go outside. Its going to
get crazy and you dont need to be here.
He squatted down a little so he could look
directly into my eyes.
But my friend is still in here! I cant

leave without her! I was franticly

scanning the crowd looking for any sign of
Jessi or the Landon guy she had been
checking the tonsils of earlier.
Kanes head shot up to search for our
missing friends in the crowd too. Having
no luck locating them, he grabbed a chair
and hopped onto it, craning his neck
searching the crowd. After a few seconds,
he brought two fingers up to his mouth and
let out another long, loud whistle.
Yo! Landon! Over here! he shouted.
My head jerked in the direction hed
yelled because I still couldnt find Jessi.
Suddenly, I felt the impact of a body
colliding with mine, knocking me to the
ground on my tail. I immediately felt sharp
pains shoot from my tailbone up my spine,
and I couldnt stop the yelp that came from

my mouth.
Kane was off his chair in seconds,
scooping me up off the floor. Holding me
tight to his chest, he carried me over to the
chair he had been standing on and gently
sat me down. Crouching in front of me, he
lightly placed his hands on my knees. Oh
my god, Kelsey, are you okay? I never
should have left you standing there alone.
Are you hurt? Do you have a lot of pain?
He kept bombarding me with questions,
never really giving me time to answer
before he would ask another. Finally, I
just decided nodding was the best thing to
do in this scenario. He must have been
okay with that, because he stood and
stalked over to the very intoxicated guy
that had bumped me and grabbed him by
his collar.

Watch where youre going next time,

asshole. I ought to just teach you a little
life lesson right here and now. When you
cause harm to a female, you apologize,
he seethed.
Kane, stop! Its okay! Im fine, really!
I shouted at him. His head turned to me
and I saw fire in his eyes. He was clearly
still fuming. Luckily for the other guy, the
bouncers came running in and dragged the
man away before Kane could do more
than just yell at the guy.
Kane, dude. You cant be doing that
shit, one of the bouncers said to him. Do
you want to get fired? No confrontation.
Just get them out the door. You know
this, he added.
Fired? Fired from what?
I lost it, Eddie. Im okay now, he said

to him before turning back to me. All the

fire that had been in his eyes was slowly
diminishing. Almost as if he flipped a
switch on all that rage and it was now
gone. I watched him take a few deep
breaths before coming back over to me.
Look, Im sorry about that. He
glanced around the bar, which seemed to
finally be emptying out. Things seem to
be under control now. You should have no
problem getting out of here and Ive got to
get back to work. Maybe Ill see you
around sometime, he said, before
walking away toward a black door that
was labeled Staff Only.
That is so weird. He works here? I
couldnt ponder on that question long,
because another body assaulted me, but
this one was much tinier and smelled a

hell of a lot nicer.

Oh. My. God. Kels! There you are! I
was worried sick! I lost you in all the
commotion. Are you all right?! Jessi was
frantically giving my body a once over.
Im fine, Jess, just got knocked down
by some drunk guy. Not like I havent seen
worse or been in a worse situation. I
watched as all the color drained from her
face and I immediately regretted my
statement.
Boy, I shouldnt have said that. Now
she would start her worried best friend bit
and I would see no peace tonight.
Really, Jess. Im fine. I tried to
assure her. Hoping with everything in me
she would let this go. Where did that guy
go? I attempted to change the subject. It
always seemed to help. Bring a guy into

the scenario and Jessis mind would

wonder. For a second she didnt seem like
she would take the bait but sure enough,
Oh, Kelsey! Isnt he gorgeous? I told you
he was totally gorgeous! She let out a
high pitched squee.
Yes, Jess hes a cutie. But where did
he go?
Oh, right! He left, she said as she
backed away from where I was sitting so I
could stand. Said he had to go check on
his friend. He went in that door over there
that says Staff Only but Im pretty sure he
doesnt work here. She shrugged and we
began to make our way toward the hall
that led to the entrance doors.
Kane? I questioned.
What?
His friend. Was his name Kane? I

asked again, even though I was quite

positive I already knew the answer.
I dont know. I didnt ask. He just told
me he would call me later and went off
through the barshe pausedWhy
would you ask?
Oh no, Ive done gone and done it
now.
No reason, really. I was just talking
with this guy before the fight broke out. He
said he was a friend of the guy you were
swapping saliva with. He seemed kind of
upset before he left. There, maybe that
will be enough to pacify her so she wont
ask any more questions.
And you just met him, right? Short chat
you say? Not buying it. SPILL! You
wouldnt have even brought him up if
there wasnt some interest there. She

grinned knowing she had caught me.

Damn her and how well she knows me.
So what if I hadnt stopped thinking
about this guys eyes all day and he just so
happened to show up at the bar and we
ended up hitting it off pretty well. He
obviously wasnt really interested since
he had just taken off like that.
Really, Jess, it was no biggie. I got
knocked down. He picked me up. Got
pretty heated at the guy who knocked me
down. Then left. End of story.
When I replay it all back, it really
didnt sound like a big deal at all. Why am
I obsessing over this guy so much? He
probably changed his mind after seeing
what I klutz I am and went running over
begging for that good time with Katie.
Im just sayin, Kels. You never really

talk to guys. Let alone have a conversation

with one then go on to talk about them
later. Youre finally coming around to the
world of make outs, hookups, and all
around awesomeness that is MEN. She
said as she threw her arm around my
shoulder and we walked out into the night
air, back toward school.
I rolled my eyes at her, but did feel a
slight smile pulling at the side of my
mouth. No, I had never really been one to
hookup, or even date for that matter, but if
I was ever willing to think about changing
my mind on the subject, Kane would be a
perfect candidate to try it out on.
Come on, slut puppy. Lets get back to
the dorms so I can get out of these clothes
and you can go on to tell me all about how
your new friend tastes. Cause Lord knows

Im going to hear all about it til I fall

asleep.
And I did.

I was actually awake before my alarm

went off the next morning. For some
reason I had slept very sound the night
before. Must have been all the commotion
from the bar. Wore me out I guess. At
least I was up before Jessi, which meant I
got first shower and could stand in the
steamy water and let it wash away all the
soreness from the fall I had taken the night
before.
Today was the last day of freedom
before classes started tomorrow morning.
I needed to make a run to the bookstore.
Then we needed to get a few items for the

mini fridge. Our plans for the day really

didnt consist of much more than pizza,
girly movies and being lazywhile we
still could anyway. When I finally
emerged from my nice steamy shower, I
wrapped a towel around my body, and
then headed into the room. I found Jessi
sitting up in her bed, her back resting
against her headboard, with a big cheesy
smile on her face. She was staring down
at her phone typing out a message. When
she finished, she sighed and scooted to the
edge of the bed.
Hes so sweet, Kels. Look at the text I
woke up to from him this morning. She
started waving her phone around in the
air, never actually holding it still long
enough for me to read anything on the tiny
screen.

Yeah, hes a real sweetheart, I said

as I walked over to my closet and pulled
out my favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt. It
had been my moms and I had worn it so
much that it was becoming threadbare, but
I could never bring myself to part with it. I
paired it with a dark pair of denim shorts
and my black Chucks. I had always been a
Chuck girl. While I did enjoy being girly,
wearing makeup, and getting dolled up
from time to time this was normal
style. I had Jessis closet to raid for all
other occasions.
Speaking of Jessi, who was still sitting
on her bed gawking at her phone, I threw
my towel at her head. You better get up
and start getting ready. I know its going to
take you forever and I would like to make
it to the bookstore before it gets swamped

with people.
She let out another long sigh before
finally heading toward the bathroom. After
a minute or so, I heard the shower start
and I finished getting myself ready.
The trip to the campus store had been
an adventure all by itself. While I was
worried about getting all the books I was
required to have, and trying to anticipate
the supplies I might need, Jessi was too
busy looking at cute hoodies and pajama
bottoms. Not like she was in any short
supply of clothes, though. She was
currently using half of my closet and
drawers.
After finally getting my essentials, we
made a quick stop at a local grocery store,
stocking up on water and snack foods
before heading back to our dorm to order

some pizza. We planned on pigging out

and watching movies til we crashed.
We had watched a few of our favorite
Channing Tatum movies before I decided
to call it a night. I wanted to make sure I
got plenty of sleep so I wouldnt be
dragging for my first day of classes. As I
crawled into my bed, the ping of Jessis
cell alerting her of a text caught my
attention. For a minute I questioned who
she was texting so much but my gut told
me it was Landon.
She had managed to put her phone down
while we watched our movies, but every
time it would vibrate, her eyes would shift
to look at it, and I knew her palm had to
be itching to pick it up and see what he
had said.
That had been another reason I decided

to call it an early night. Who was I to keep

her from sexting some guy she barely
knew? At least I would be asleep shortly
and wouldnt have to listen to her giggles
every time a new text came in. But every
time her phone chimed I couldnt help but
wonder, if she was talking to Landon
where was Kane?
Where is Kane? Why in the hell did I
even think that? He was probably off
playing doctor with that girl from the bar,
or any other girl for that matter. He was
attractive enough to probably have his
pick of anyone in this whole town. I was
surprised he had wasted any of his time
talking to me.
While Kane was everything I thought I
would never want, there was still a
nagging at the back of my mind telling me I

couldnt be sure of what I wanted. It

wasnt like I had a whole lot of past
boyfriends to know what my type was.
Here I waseighteen, and I had never
even had a steady boyfriend before. Dont
get me wrong. I wasnt a prude. It wasnt
like I had never been kissed. But it was
hard to find a relationship when everyone
in town pitied you. Another reason I
withdrew from everyone I once knew. I
didnt need their pity. What I needed was
my mom. And I didnt have her anymore.
I hated thinking about my mom before
falling asleep, because almost every time I
did, the nightmares of what had happened
that night would follow. The guilt that
almost consumed me daily, and the grief I
hadnt truly let myself feel, were enough
to nearly cripple me. I didnt need to add

exhaustion on top of that from staying

awake all hours of the night, for fear that
every time I closed my eyes I would be
back there, in that moment, living it all
over again. I couldnt handle that. Not
now. Tomorrow was a new beginning. I
needed this. I would start over freshfor
her.

I had managed to make it through the

night without any nightmares and awoke
the next morning before Jessi, again. I
softly crept across the floor, trying my
best not to wake her. I wanted to shower
first like I did yesterday, but this time I
didnt take my time in the shower. I was
too full of nervous energy and anticipation

for my first class. I just wanted to get

ready and get this day started.
My nerves had me hoping I hadnt bit
off more than I could chew with the
classes I had picked. All the AP courses I
had taken in high school had given me a
slight advantage, making me feel a little
more at ease about what was in store for
me. But I knew nothing would compare to
the real deal. This was college after all.
There would be no second chances. It was
up to me to make something of myself
now.
Classes for the first part of the morning
had gone as smoothly as I could have
hoped for. The professors seemed to be
really nice, but still had that no nonsense
air about them. We, the students, of course
got the expected speeches on how we

were no longer in high school, and how

they would not baby us and so on and so
forth.
By midday I was starving. I had never
been a breakfast person. A piece of toast
every now and then was my breakfast of
choice and I could usually make it all
morning on that and not be hungry. But
classes ran a little longer now then what
they did in high school, and by the time I
had I had a break it was a little past one
oclock and I was famished.
I made my way to the cafeteria,
knowing Jessi would already be there
waiting for me. Our tour the day before
had shown us that her class was closer to
the caf and let out earlier than mine, so we
agreed that we would just meet there and
eat together as soon as my class was over.

I was hurrying along, looking down

over the syllabus from the last class when
I collided with something hard.
Great!
The first thing that ran through my mind
was that I had just walked into a door
like an idiot.
I slowly raised my head, expecting
everyone around to be rolling with
laughter. But with my head fully elevated,
I saw that I had not just crashed into a
door. No, instead of a door I was staring
at a broad back in a white shirt.
I automatically ducked my head again
and began apologizing to the poor person I
had just plowed into. Im so sorry; I
wasnt watching where I was going.
Glancing up when I didnt get a
response, I watched as the person I had

run into turned around and slowly pulled

his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose
until they were resting on the tip. Man
that seemed familiar.
So we meet again, beautiful. Ya know,
just because you got run over the other
night, that does not justify mowing down
anyone you come in contact with today,
Kane laughed.
I should have known, that was just my
luck. I would go crashing into him to
further prove my klutz-like tendencies.
Wait. Did he just call me beautiful?
Oh please, if I could mow you over
with you being four times my size, then I
would say its well deserved. I needed to
be snarky with him. If I wasnt, I would
probably end up stuttering like a mad
woman and make an even bigger fool of

myself then I already had.

Now that I was standing this close to
him in the clear light of day, I could see
all his glorious features. He wasnt
wearing a ball cap again and even though
his hair was cut pretty short I could still
tell the color was black. And in the bright
sunshine his eyes gleamed like someone
had poured mercury into his irises. They
were completely mesmerizing.
Are you calling me fat? He
questioned, pulling my attention away
from his eyes. What were we talking
about again? I dont take to kindly to
that. This school has zero tolerance when
it comes to bullyingdo I need to report
you? He raised one eyebrow at me, and
our earlier conversation came rushing
back.

I leaned in close, glaring at him from

under my lashes. Tattle tale, I
whispered.
It was so nice to be able to banter with
him. It had been so long since I was able
to cut loose with someone other than Jessi
or her family. Like I said, people back
home tiptoed around me. I tried to make
everyone more comfortable so they
wouldnt feel the need to do so, but no
matter what I did, I never changed
anything so I eventually just gave up
trying.
Seeing him again reminded me about
how hed rushed off the other night, and I
blurted out, Hey, how are you? You were
pretty heated at the bar and then you just
took offI was kind of worried about
you. I could slap myself for divulging

that last little bit of information. Sure, it

might have been true, but now he was
going to run off screaming into the night
thinking I was some sort of stalker freak.
Worried about me, huh? One side of
his mouth pulled up into a sly smile and I
watched as a lone dimple sank deep into
his cheek. Usually when you think of
dimples you think cuteness, but on a man
like Kane, they were far from cuteHe
was the epitome of sex appeal.
I rolled my eyes at his question and
stepped around him, continuing on to the
cafeteria. I was still very hungry and now
I wasnt going to have a lot of time to eat
before my next class began. Kane fell into
step with me, but as we reached the doors
to the caf, he paused. I turned to look at
him, and watched as the smile he had been

wearing slowly slid from his face.

Im sorry I ran off like I did. It was a
dick move. He rubbed the back of his
neck and his gray eyes held mine.
Sometimes I lose hold on my temper. I
really dont like to do that and to do it
around a female, well, thats
unforgiveable. My Paw would have my
head for it. It was best I just removed
myself from the equation. God, I didnt
even make sure you got home safe.
I could see guilt written all over his
face, and it surprised me. Why would he
be so worried about seeing to it that a
random girl he had just met made it home
safely? Its not a problem, really. Jess
and I walked home right after. No bad
guys jumped out of the shadows and
snatched us up, or anything like that, I

joked to try and bring back the lighthearted mood from earlier.
He nodded, but something told me it
was just for showbut he was willing to
drop the subject and I was fine with that.
After a minute, I turned back toward the
doors, but before I could pull one open,
his voice stopped me.
Hey, let me at least get your lunch to
make up for that night, all right? he
asked, and pulled one of the doors open so
we could both enter. As soon as my eyes
adjusted to the dimmer lighting in the caf, I
immediately spot Jessi. She also had some
company at the table with her in the form
of Landon.
Well, seeing as we are more than
likely going to be sitting at the same table
todayI nodded in the couples

directionI guess Ill take you up on

that. I smiled at him, pulling my long hair
over one of my shoulders, and watch his
eyes as they glance down at my now
exposed neck, but he quickly jerks them
away and begins looking around the room.
An odd feeling forms in the pit of my
stomach from the way he was looking at
my neck, but I write it off to being
completely famished.
We made our way around the various
different foods being offered that day. As
hungry as I was, everything sounded and
smelled remarkably good. I finally
decided on a nice, juicy, greasy, burger
and fries and called out my order to the
cafeteria lady. I stepped back, giving
Kane room to make his order. When he
didnt proceed to tell her what he wanted,

I looked over at him and see him just

staring at memouth slightly open, just
staring away.
I started feeling a little uncomfortable
and finally bark at him, What?! Do I have
something on my facein my hairin my
teeth?! What is it?! Why are you looking at
me like that?
He shook his head slightly, almost as
though he was trying to bring himself out
of a daze, and then grabbed his stomach
and laughed. His laughter did nothing to
help with the fear that I did in fact have
some kind of gunk somewhere on my
body. Immediately, one of my hands went
to my hair and I started running my fingers
through it, making sure to smooth it down
and feel for whatever filth must have been
stuck in therethe other began rubbing at

my face, trying to wipe away whatever

had him howling with laughter.
When his laughter finally halted, he
slowly reached over and took my hand
into his. First, there is nothing in your
silky hair, on your beautiful face, or in
your perfectly straight teeth. Bringing my
hand away from my head, he dropped our
arms, but didnt let go just yet. I was
simply in a state of shock from your order.
And before you go and get all selfconscious, I dont mean that in the way
you are thinking. Usually when you offer
to buy girls lunch, they get nervous about
what they eat in front of you. So they order
a green salad just because they think that
will make them look skinnier or some shit,
when really, all they want is that
cheeseburgerhe winked at meSo,

you skipping over the bullshit is really

refreshing. He let go of my hand, and the
cool air hitting it made me miss the
warmth of his.
You ask to buy me lunch right? Well,
thats exactly what youre going to do.
Grass doesnt really constitute as a meal,
in my opinion. If Im going to eat, then
damn it I want some meat in there. My
belly growled further proving I say
exactly what I mean.
Well then, beautiful, lets get that food
and get some seats before you go all
ravenous beast on me over that burger,
huh? he laughed.
I realized then that I love his laugh. He
had one of those contagious laughs that
you couldnt help but smile when you
heard it. It was so deep and full, like he

always means it when he laughs about

something. Means it when he laughs?
Really Kelsey? What does that even
mean? Being close with Kane was going
to make me question my sanity. I had the
most idiotic thoughts whenever he was
near.
We got our food and headed over to the
table that Jessi and Landon were already
seated at. The table had quite a few more
people seated at it than what it had when
we first came in, but there were still two
empty seats saved directly across from
Jess and Landon. We walked to the seats,
and before I could set my tray down, Kane
was pulling my chair out for me. You
never see men pull chairs out for women
these days and you definitely wouldnt
expect it from someone who looks like

Kane. With his facial piercing and tattoos,

he looks more like a person who would be
jerking the chair away as you went to sit
so that your ass would hit the floor.
I gently sat down in my chair and cast
quick glances in his direction as he gave
the chair a little push in toward the table. I
watched as he grabbed his chair and spun
it around backward before straddling it,
and going about separating the ginormous
amount of food he had piled on his tray.
When I finally pulled my eyes away from
Kane, I saw Jessi staring at me with a
questioning smile on her face. She ever so
slightly tilted her head in Kanes
direction, and I gave her leg a swift kick
under the table.
Ow! Shit! What the hell? Landon let
out a wail, and reached under the table to

rub his leg.

Oops. So much for kicking Jessis leg. I
was mortally embarrassed and didnt
know how I was going to explain that one.
Luckily for me, I had a kickass best friend
who was fast to swoop in and cover for
me.
Im so sorry! That was me. I had a
little cramp and went to stretch and I guess
reflexes kicked in and bam! Shin kick.
She batted her eyes, and the look on his
face clearly showed that he was so
infatuated with what she was sayinghe
didnt really care what his shin felt like
anymore. This is my friend, Kelsey, by
the way.
Only then did he take his eyes off her
and turn them toward me. I gave him a
slight wave and smile that he returned and

I watched his eyes shift between Kane and

me for a split second before coming back
to rest on me. Kanes body went ridged
beside me, and I pulled my eyes away
from Landon to look at him. He was
glaring at Landon, but when he caught me
looking acted as if nothing had happened
and continued to eat his food.
So, how were classes this morning,
Kels? Is college everything you ever
dreamed it would be? Jess sarcastically
clasped her hands together and pulled
them up to her neck, fluttering her
eyelashes as she did so.
Knowing Jessis playful nature, I
played right back, throwing both hands
against my heart before sighing, Oh you
wouldnt believe it, Jessica! There are so
many new things to learn here! My

goodness, I didnt believe such a place

existed! I drawled in my best Scarlett
O'Hara accent. We both laughed and I
shrugged. No seriously, classes were
okay. The professors are trying to play
hard asses but I think I can handle it. I
dipped my fry into some ketchup and
popped it into my mouth.
Mine were so boring, Jess flung her
tiny body back against the chair and
sighed, If they stay this way all year I
dont know how Im going to make it. For
serious, when the first teacher was
speaking, all I head was wha wha wha
you knowjust like that teacher in the
Charlie Brown cartoon! No joke, I cant
handle a year of that and its only the first
day!
Jessi had never been the studious one in

our duo. Not saying Jessi wasnt smart,

she was brilliant and she always made
good grades. She just lacked the drive to
apply herself fully when it came to school
work. At that moment I would just chalk
her attitude up to first day blues and the
fact that she had been up late texting
Landon. I knew she would regret not
getting enough sleep, but honestly, Jessi
could sleep half the day away and it still
wouldnt be enough sleep for her.
Im just glad we are at least in the next
class together. Maybe you can keep me
awake in this one. She winked. I was
really excited to have a class with her. In
high school I had taken all the AP courses
I could, while Jessi had taken only the
classes she was required to in order to
graduate.

Oh, by the way who is your friend

here, Kels? Caught up in the distraction
of class talk, Id totally forgotten to
introduce Kane.
UmI cleared my throatThis is
Kane. Kane, this is my best friend, Jessi.
I waved my hand in the air back and forth
between them.
Nice to meet you. Kane extended his
hand toward Jessi, and I watched her
check out his tattoo sleeve as she shook
his hand.
Nice tats. Kels and I were supposed to
go get one together but havent made it
there yet. Maybe you can recommend a
place for us, Jessi throws out there. We
had never fully agreed on this matter. Sure
we discussed getting them, but never
actually said the words, yeah lets do

this.
His brother does all mine. Kane
nodded toward Landon.
I can set you all up with a consult if ya
want. Landon shrugs.
Before I could even open my mouth to
tell him no thanks, we were not fully
committed to even getting the tattoos
Jessi squealed and threw her arms around
his neck. As soon as she began thanking
him, I knew anything I said to her right
now would fall on deaf ears.
Someone bumped my shoulder, and I
turned to see Kane watching me. Whats
wrong with you? You look like someone
just ran over your dog. Im not sure hes
even noticed how his body has gravitated
toward mine. But right now, Im so
focused on him and the warmth of his

body pressed against me, I can hardly

think about anything else.
We just hadnt really agreed on getting
them yet is all.
Jessi and I had always thought it would
be the cool best friend thing to do, and
get our first tattoos together. I wanted one
but knew I had to get something I would
never regret. I had bounced around tattoo
ideas often, but there was one I always
went back to.
So how is this weekend for yall?
Landons question caught me by surprise
and my eyes bulged.
This ... this weekend? I managed to
squeak out.
Its perfect! Jess exclaimed, slapping
her hand down on the table and causing
me to jump. Gives chicken shit over there

less time to change her mind. She looked

at me and gave me a quick wink.
Yeah, she knew I was going to kill her
for that later.
All right then, Ill text him after my
next class to set it all up. Landon beamed
at Jessi. That boy was completely smitten
with her and I really hoped she felt the
same. It wasnt hard to see that if she
didnt, it would crush him.
I finally glanced down at my watch and
saw that I had ten minutes before my next
class began. It wasnt far from the
cafeteria, but being the first day, I wanted
to get there early and get a good seat. I
wiped my hands on a napkin and scooted
my chair back as I grabbed for my tray,
but it was swiped away at the last second
by Kane who was standing beside me with

a big goofy grin on his face.

I got it for ya, he stated and started
walking off in the direction of the
trashcansnot even waiting for my
response.
I grabbed my bag and looked over to
see Jessi trying to hold back a laugh. See
you in a few. Save me a seat! she called
out to me.
Shaking my head, I started making my
way through the tables and people,
following the ginormous tattooed man who
insisted on carrying my tray for me. In the
last hour, Kane had shown a side of him
that just from his outwardly appearance
I would have never known existed. Who
could have guessed that someone with
Kanes appearance, would have such
good manners? I guess the saying Dont

judge a book by its cover was one

hundred percent true. Kane was a walking,
talking example of that.
After dumping our trays, he turned
around to face me. So where is your next
class?
Wickham Hall, I said as I adjusted
the strap of my bag on my shoulder.
Reaching over, Kane slipped the strap
down my arm, taking my bag and placing
the strap over his shoulder instead.
I can do stuff on my own you know? I
glared at him and placed one hand on my
hip. This doing stuff for me before asking
me was going to get real old, real fast.
I know that. I just want to do this for
you okay? He shrugged and pushed open
the door, signaling for me to head out in
front of him.

We silently made our way to class, but

it wasnt an awkward silence that you
would usually you get walking side by
side with a person you barely knew. Kane
had this way about him that made me feel
completely at ease when he was near.
Jessi had been my best friend all my life,
and I didnt get the calm and comforting
feelings with her like I got while I was
around Kane. Which made this whole
situation even crazier. Id known this man
all of five minutes. Didnt you have to get
to know someone before you were even
the least bit comfortable around them?
Finally deciding to break the silence, I
asked, So what are you majoring in?
Smooth Kelsey real smooth. Way to
pick the most obvious and boring topic
ever!

Pulling his trusty aviators from the

collar of his white V-neck shirt, he slid
them on before answering me, Business. I
want to open my own bar someday.
Wow. I was a little taken back at first.
Really? I would have never pegged you
as a business major actually now that
Im thinking about itI dont know what I
really pegged you as. I finished with a
laugh and prayed I didnt offend him in
some way. I mean, just from his outwardly
appearance, you wouldnt even really
expect him to go to collegelet alone
already know what he is majoring in and
what he plans to do with that major. I
know it was just my first day of actual
classes, but the fact that I wasnt sure what
I wanted to major in was driving me
crazy. All my life my one goal was just to

make it to college. There wasnt much

thought beyond that point. I just knew I
needed to get here and now that I was here
I wasnt sure what was next.
Although, child services had always
been in the back of my mind. Not living in
the best environment growing up may have
played a big part in that. I wanted children
that were growing up in an environment
like I had, to get help sooner. Memories of
my past came rushing back and chilled me
to the bone. No one should ever go
through what I did. If I could keep just one
childs life from becoming what mine had
been, that would give me a sense of
accomplishment. The horrors of my past
were not something I liked to focus on
these days though. No matter how hard I
wished for it, what had been done could

not be undone.
So who is your professor? Kane
asked, pulling me from my painful trip
down memory lane.
Um, Hanson. I hear shes a real hard
ass. Im actually a little nervous, to be
honest. We had finally made it to the
door of the class and I took a quick peek
inside to see if the notorious teacher was
inside. I didnt see her, but I did see a few
people already taking their seats.
Ah, shes not all that hard. Ill let you
in on a little secret, but you are sworn to
secrecyHe leaned in so close to my
ear that his hot breath tickled the small
hairs on the side of my neckits all an
act.
He pulled back and my eyes flew open
funny how I never even noticed they had

closed in the first place. He crossed his

arms and leaned against the door facing
the class. She likes to be all tough and
give hard lectures the first few days
making people think they are in for one
hell of a hard class. Then she lets up after
all the ones panic and drop her class
because they think itll be too rough. Her
class was actually one of my favorites.
Well, at least that calmed my nerves a
little bit. I had heard some horror stories
about this woman and her obscene amount
of work she gave out. Now that I knew it
was all a ruseall I could think was,
well played madam well played.
Feeling better about how this class was
going to go, I held my hand out for my bag
that Kane was still holding. Thanks for
walking me to class, and carrying my

bag. I mean, really, what else can I say?

This is moving into first datekiss or
dont kiss on the doorstepterritory.
Before things could get any more
awkward, Kane handed over my bag and I
turned to head into class. I had made it all
of two steps in before I felt a light
baseball-type slap right on my ass.
Whipping around, I caught sight of Kane
walking backwards out of the class,
holding up both hands with a smile on his
face so huge both dimples were clearly
visible.
Go get em tiger. Give that class hell!
He winked before turning and disappeared
from the doorway.
I could feel the biggest smile on my
face as I shook my head; I might not have
known him long, but he was sure growing

on me. I couldnt remember smiling this

much in such a long time. There was just
something about him that pulled you in and
made you comfortable around him. And it
was refreshing to finally meet new people
and have them get to know Kelsey not
that girl Kelsey with the fucked up past.

After deciding on a seat, I slid in and

began pulling my laptop from my bag,
when my ink pen fell out and rolled across
the floor. I stretched as far as I could,
trying to catch it before it rolled too far;
but when it was almost in my reach, I
started to slip from the chair.
Oh, no. This is going to be
embarrassing.
One cheek slipped from the edge of the
chair, before the rest of my body followed
suit. I braced myself for the impact of my
body colliding with the floorbut it never
came. All I felt was two large hands

sliding under me and catching me mere

inches from the floor.
And Im so embarrassed that I dont
even want to look up at the person who
was now cradling me like a small child.
Only after I heard his voice did I raise my
head.
That could have been bad, A deep
voice lightly chuckled.
With me still in his arms, I could feel
the vibrations from his chest as he
laughed. It also reminded me that I was
being held by a stranger making the
whole situation completely awkward.
Finally turning to face him, I was met with
his gorgeous eyes. They were so blue and
clear, I almost questioned if they were
even his real color, or if he was wearing
colored contacts.

People had always told me my eyes

were beautiful and unique. While their
golden honey color was not very common,
I hated them. They served as a reminder of
what he did to me, to u s . I had
contemplated colored contacts for myself
from time to time, but contacts would not
change the fact that I had his eyes.
Realizing I was still in this guys arms,
I untangled my body from his hold and
hurried to stand. Who just lets some
stranger hold them for an unknown
amount of time like that? Oh yeah, thats
right, me! Because obviously Im all
kinds of weird like that.
When we were both vertical, he held
out his hand to me. My names Nate, by
the way.
I tentatively reached out my hand to

shake his, and take a good look at him.

Hes extremely good lookingas are
most the boys Ive met here so far. What,
did I sign up to go to Abercrombie
College, and didnt know it? Sheesh. How
was it possible that every guy here looked
like he just stepped right out of a GQ
magazine? Perfect hair, perfect teeth, and
perfect clothes. This was beginning to be
just a tad bit ridiculous.
Kelsey. I nodded.
Completely mortified, I began to collect
my things and throw them back into my
bag. When I finally took my seat again, I
buried my face in my hands to hide my
embarrassment and sent up a silent prayer
that this class would pass quickly.
I slowly lowered my hands to the desk
when I felt a light tap on my shoulder, and

turned to find Nate standing therewith a

tampon in his hand. At first Im a little
taken aback, not really understanding why
he would be holding a tampon and then
I feel my heart drop to my stomach when I
realize its the same brand I use.
Fuck my life.
Clearing his throat, he leaned down
close to whisper in my ear, I believe this
belongs to you.
Really? Is this really happening right
now? What is my deal today? Are the
Gods out to get me and curse me as the
girl who would forever go around doing
embarrassing shit and making a fool of
herself in front of good looking men for
the rest of my life?
Well, it couldnt get any worse. Might
as well suck it up and get it over with. I

mean, what else did I have to lose? The

man was standing there holding my
tampon, after all.
Thanks, I said as I retrieved the
tampon from his hand, dropping it into my
bag. I was never going to live this down. I
just knew it. And thanks for, um, catching
me, I added.
Not a problem. He smiled. He had a
nice smile. I bet money it had taken years
of orthodontists appointments to get a
smile like that.
So, youre not from around here are
you? he questioned. Obviously, he was
trying to change the subject away from the
fiasco that was my life.
No, Im not. Im actually from a town
a few hours away. My best friend Jessi
and I dorm over in Hager.

Nice. Thats one of the nicer dorms

here. He winked.
So, is this your first year? It was
apparent it wasnt if he knew which dorm
buildings were better than the other but
might as well ask to keep the conversation
going, right?
Nah, this is my third year. I dont live
in the dorms though. Im part of the KZB
fraternity, so I live in the frat house.
Fraternity boy, huh? To me, fraternity
boys always signified drunken, assgrabbing, Neanderthals. Nate, however,
didnt look that part by any means. He
looked more along the lines of a trust fund
baby who probably drove a Lexus or
BMW. Definitely not as though he would
be doing keg stands every other night in
what was, quite possibly, a filthy house

surrounded by a crowd of fellow drunken

Neanderthals cheering and fist pumping
him on every step of the way.
Im sorry, but you dont really strike
me as the fraternity type, I admitted.
Really now? Why is that? He crossed
his arms over his chest and smiled.
He smiled, thats good. Smiling is
good. It means I didnt offend him. I
should really walk around with a warning
that says, Hi, my name is Kelsey. Let me
go ahead and insert my foot in my mouth
before our conversation has even begun.
I dont know, really. When I think frats
I think National Lampoon's Animal
House. I shrugged.
He surprised me by barking out a laugh
and grabbing his stomach. Oh man, thats
a good one. I could get offended but I am

enjoying the fact that you have actually

s e e n Animal House too much for that.
Actually, my frat is nothing like that. We
are more along the lines of, join the frat
because your father was in it. It also
helps you gain great connections to further
your schooling and career. Like in my
case, one of my brothers fathers has the
in for a med school I plan to attend.
Every little connection helps, right?
That did make sense. Id also seen the
movi e The Skulls, so I guess I could
understand that all frats were not full of
raging horny guys, hell bent on seeing how
many beer cans they could crush against
their skull before passing out.
So you said youre not from around
here right? I saw you walk in with Kane
Riley. You know him before enrolling

here or something?
While I didnt see how my knowing
Kane had anything to do with him, I
figured there was no point in questioning
it.
No I didnt know him before starting
here. We just met the other night actually.
Thats cool. Kane and I are friends.
We actually rushed together, but he
dropped us last year. He still comes to
some of the parties every now and then,
though.
If picturing Nate in a frat was hard,
picturing Kane in oneespecially the one
that Nate had describedwas almost
down right impossible. Kane and Nate,
appearance-wise, were polar opposites.
Kane with his tattoos, piercing, biker
boots andfrom what I had seen so far

monotone wardrobe, didnt fit the whole

frat-for-connections type. Nate, on the
other hand, in his baby blue polo, tan
slacks and Sperry Top-Siders, I could see.
Jessi decided to come rushing into class
at that time. I could tell from the blush on
her face and swollen Ive been making
out hard lips, that she had been putting
off coming into class until the very last
minute to spend as much time with Landon
as possible. She came bouncing up to me
with a massive grin on her face.
So, wheres my seat, chick? Did I miss
anything? She pulled a small mirror and
tube of lip-gloss from her purse, and
began touching up her makeup. Yep, she
really needed it too, a smearing of pink
gloss covered the areas around her lips
from her extra-curricular sucking face

activates.
When she was finally done putting
herself back in order, she glanced up at
me, and then Nate. Well hello there, she
purred at him.
Yes, Nate was good looking, any girl in
her right mind would agree so Jessis
flirting was to be expected.
Nate. He nodded and reached out his
hand to shake hers like he had done for
me.
This is my friend, Jessi I was just
telling you about. I went ahead and
introduced her.
Just telling him about, huh? So you
have been talking about me? Jess bumped
her hip with mine.
Yes, Jessi. He now knows your date of
birth, social security number, and first

pets name.I pausedI was just

telling him how I came to school here with
my best friend.
Oh, I see. Well, I hope that you also
told him that your best friend was super
hot and had a winning personality. She
smiled
We all took our seats when the teacher
finally came in to class and called our
attention to the front of the room. Less than
a minute later, I felt Jessi lean over
toward my desk.
We have been here a few days, Kels
a few days, and you already have all
the boys falling over you. Damn girl,
didnt I tell you.
I rolled my eyes. She was crazy. So I
had made a few new friends and they just
so happened to be male. That didnt mean

anyone was falling over me.

Hush, and get back in your seat before
you get us in trouble on our first day of
class, I hissed back at her while never
taking my eyes off the front of the room.
She held up both hands as she leaned
back into her seat. Im just saying, Kels.
These boys want them some Kelsey. Bad.
I rolled my eyes again. Sure they did.
Even if that were true, once any guy really
got to know all about me and my past,
things would eventually change. You cant
carry around baggage like I have and there
not be repercussions for it. I wasnt like
your average eighteen year old. I had seen
things that had changed me, broke me. It
would take a special kind of man to love a
person as broken as me. But even if I
found that man, I wasnt so sure my

damaged heart could give him that love in

return.

When class was over, I shut down my

laptop and placed it in my bag. Overall,
the class had been just as Kane described.
Her syllabus and standards were pretty
high, so I was praying he was right about
it getting easier after a few classes. I
really wanted to take her class, but I was
already feeling a little overwhelmed.
As Jess and I headed out the door, I felt
someone fall into step with me and turned
to find Nate.
Well what did you think about the
class? She seems like shes going to be
pretty tough, huh? He playfully bumped

my shoulder and smiled.

Well I happen to have the inside scoop
on her, and I believe we can handle
anything she throws at us, I said to him.
Well, if you have the inside scoop, it
looks like well be spending a lot of time
together in there then. We may need to
partner up on a few projects, he joked
back.
As we exited the class, we ran into
Landon who quickly whisked Jessi away
while she giggled a farewell to me, and
something about catching up with me later.
I shook my head and laughed at the two.
You would never have known they just
met a few days ago from the way they
were with each other.
When I looked away from Jessi and
Landons retreating figures, I saw Kane.

He was leaning against the wall, his arms

crossed over his broad chest. His arms
completely fascinated me, thanks to the
intricate designs of the tats adorning them.
I couldnt believe Id never really noticed
tattoos before Kane. Each one was like its
own miniature work of art. Kind of like
when you see people go to art shows and
stand there and stare for long periods of
time on one particular painting. I could do
that with Kanes tattoos. I wanted to know
all about them. I wanted to know if each
one held a secret story behind it, or
represented something special in his life.
And if I was being completely honest with
myself, I just wanted to know Kane. All
about him, every detail.
When we finally locked eyes, Kane
pushed off the wall and strode toward

Nate and me. His eyes kept shifting back

and forth between the two of us, before
finally settling on me as he finished his
short walk.
Hey He scratched at the back of his
neckI thought Id see if you wanted to
grab a cup of coffee or something. If this
is your last class, I mean. He cast his
eyes back toward Nate, who was currently
glaring at Kane. Man, boys could be so
weird sometimes.
Clearing my throat to get Kanes
attention again, I said, Um, sure. That
sounds great. I just need to run back to the
dorm and drop my things off. I should also
tell Jessi where Ill be. You want to meet
me on the front steps in fifteen minutes or
so?
A small smile tugged at the corner of

his lips, eliciting a smile from me too.

Sure. See you in fifteen.
Once again being caught up in Kane, I
forgot about Nate standing right beside
me. Man, Ive got to stop doing that. Not
really knowing what else to do, I blurted,
Oh! This is Nate, by the way. Then I
paused, remembering my earlier
conversation with Nate. But wait, I guess
you already know each other, dont you?
I glanced back and forth between the two
of them.
Yeah, we know each other, Kane
stated flatly as he glared at Nate.
Weird. Id just figured they were
friends. Looking at Kane and the way he
was staring at Nate, I was quickly
retracting that thought.
Long time no see, bud. Hows it

going? Nate nodded toward Kane. Acting

as if Kane wasnt scowling at him as he
spoke.
Kanes eyes looked Nate up and down,
almost as if he were sizing him up. Kane
had a good two to four inches on Nate and
was definitely more built. If they were to
ever go toe to toe, my money would
definitely be on Kane.
Good, he clipped out before turning
back to me. Go put your things away. Ill
be waiting out front.
He turned and headed back down the
hall, toward the exit doors without even a
goodbye nod toward Nate.
Well, that went well I think, Nate
chuckled at Kanes retreating figure.
Yeah, what was up with that? I
questioned. Kane obviously didnt care

too much for Nate; but Nate, on the other

hand, was acting as thought Kane didnt
just blow him off.
I dont really know. We used to be
brothersas in fraternity brothers. We
actually were pretty close a few years
ago. Thats why we rushed together. Then
Kane started to change and pull away from
us. We let him have the space he needed,
but after a while he came to us and told us
he was leaving the frat. Kind of shocked
us all to be honest. He would have been
president if hed stayed.
After he dropped the frat, he got his
own apartment and kind of kept to himself
after that.He pausedWell, I guess
kept to himself isnt the right term. He
stopped again and looked around the now
emptying hall. How do I put this? He still

has plenty of company these days, but only

in the form of women. Its not surprising
to see a different girl leave his apartment
every night.
I could see Kane being the ladies man
type. With looks like that, Im sure women
were always throwing themselves at him
but that didnt excuse douchebaggery
behavior. It was kind of weird though,
hed never given off those vibes to me.
Hed never actually hit on me either.
Flirted a little here and there, but never
actually came on to me, I dont think.
Maybe he didnt find me as attractive as
the company he usually kept. Which I
couldnt lie, that stung a little bit, even
though it shouldnt. I barely knew him and
never got hung up on guys anyway. I dont
know what my deal was lately. One look

from a pair of gray eyes and I was

completely flipped upside down. That
wasnt me. I needed to put a stop to
whatever was happening, like now.
This coffee date was going to go a
whole different direction then what ol
Kane probably had planned out in is head
big or little one. Nope, Kelsey Rien
was not the type to do the walk of shame
out of someones apartment. This was
something that I was going to make pretty
damn clear.

After a quick goodbye to Nate, I headed

off toward the dorms. The sooner I was
rid of this bag, the better. At least in high
school you had lockers. Lugging this stuff
around was going to take some getting
used to.
Not feeling like waiting on the elevator
which always seemed to take forever
I decided to take the stairs. Our dorm
room was just a few doors down from the
stairwell and was a whole hallways walk
from the elevator bays, but ascending
three flights of stairs with all my books
and laptop might not have been the

brightest idea on my part. With each step I

took, waiting on those damn slow
elevators sounded better and better.
Finally making it to our floor, I walked
the short distance to our room and turned
the knob. Jess should already be back, she
was probably taking a mid-afternoon nap
to be honest. Waking up early and Jessi
never did go well together. Slowly
pushing open the door, I fully expected to
see Jess lying in her bed, softly snoring
away after a hard first day of class. What I
did not expect was a pale, bare ass as it
pumped away at my best friend.
I yelped and slapped my hand over my
eyes as I fumbled around for the
doorknob. Sorry! Sorry! Im leaving!
Carry on doing that. I waved the hand
that wasnt currently shielding my eyes

from the horrific sight, wildly in the air

before finally landing it on the doorknob
and slamming it shut.
Good Lord, I muttered under my
breath as I slid down the wall beside our
door. I could still hear Jessis giggles.
Shaking my head, I pulled my
headphones out of my bag, plugged them
into my cell and settled in to wait. Surely
she would hurry it along and finish since
she knew I was waiting I hoped she
would anyway.
After about two songs there was a light
tap on my shoulder and my eyes flew open
to find Jessi standing there with a pretty
pleased look on her face. As she should
have after what I had just walked in on.
Landon walked out of our room and into
the hallway as I started to stand, looking

just a tad bit embarrassed.

Leave it to the guy to go get all
discomforted and Jessi be the one going
on as if I walked in on them playing a
game of Go Fish instead of bumping
uglies. I swear, sometimes I honestly think
shes part man. Poor Landon was just
standing beside Jessi, with his eyes cast
down toward the floor as if he was trying
not to make eye contact with me.
At least hes not just the average jerk
that gets what he wants and hurries on
his way but that doesnt mean I cant
use his discomfort to have a little fun
myself, right?
No need to go get all shy now, I told
him. I have seen your bare ass and all.
He scratched at the back of his neck and
let out a nervous chuckle. Yeah, sorry

about that.
No problem. I was just coming to put
my things away before heading back out,
I said to them.
Out? So where are you going? Jess
questioned me. I knew she was probably a
little thrown off by the fact that I had plans
to go out, and that those plans didnt
involve her. Usually the only places I
went to lately are the places she drags me.
So this was a whole different ball game
for her.
Kane asked me if I would like to grab
a cup of coffee. I told him I would. Hes
probably waiting out front for me now
actually. I didnt think the room would be
occupied. I winked at Landon because
I knew he was feeling pretty
uncomfortable right now, and I cant lie, I

was enjoying teasing him and watching

him squirm. So, can I get in there now?
Id like to finally get rid of these heavy
books if you dont mind. I pushed past
Jessi into the room and dropped my bag
on my desk.
Ahh, yes. Relief. It felt so good to be rid
of that weighty thingfor a while at least.
I rushed off to the bathroom to freshen up
a little bit, and had to stop myself from
doing too much. Im not worried about
impressing himor am I? Shaking the
thought from my head, I finished brushing
my teeth and applied a fresh swipe of
deodorant. I may not be trying to impress
the guy too much, but smelling good is a
given, right?
I stepped out of the bathroom and found
Jessi sitting in a desk chair that she had

pulled up so that it was directly in front of

the bathroom door. She had one of her
mischievous smiles plastered across her
face.
Stop smiling like that. Youre giving
me the creeps.
Smiling like what? She grinned
bigger while twisting back and forth in the
desk chair.
You know like what. Like the cat that
ate the canary or whatever it is your
grandpa used to say. I turned and took
one last glimpse in the mirror.
You look fine. I heard Jess call from
over my shoulder.
What? Oh Im not checking how I
look. Im just making sure I dont have any
junk on my face? Yeah, even I heard the
questioning tone I had in my last statement.

I guess I was busted.

So whats the deal with you two? she
questioned as she kicked off the ground,
giving the chair a complete spin like some
five year old playing in their parents
work chair.
Nothing, Jess. I just met the guy. I just
figured it would be a good idea to have
more than one friend, ya know? Its
obvious you and Landon there are getting
a little serious. What will I do when
youre off with him if I dont finally come
around and attempt to make some new
friends?
She stopped her spinning and stared at
me for a few seconds before getting up
from her chair and hugging me.
Kels, you will always have me. No
boy will every change that. Youre my

number one, babe. Sisters before misters

and all that. And what in the world gave
you the impression Im starting something
serious with Landon? She let me go and
took a step back.
Oh I dont know, Jess, could it be the
fact that I just walked in on the two of you
having full-blown rabbit sex in our dorm
after knowing each other a couple days?
She giggled. Oh, Kelsey honey, that
boy sure knows what hes doing in the
sack, let me tell ya. But that doesnt mean
Im ready to settle down and get serious
with him. She looked down at her hands
and started to pick at her fingernails.
Yeah, keep spitting out whatever you
want, Jess. I dont believe it either.
This boy had Jessi spinning and she
was just too damn scared to admit it. My

friend was used to boys falling quickly for

her. She was mixed up about falling so
fast, but I knew it would do her some
good. She needed more than just a quick
lay. Jessi deserved a guy that would treat
her like the little princess she thought she
was. Maybe finally being here at college
would be a fresh start for us both. And if
she just so happened to find love with the
first guy she actually met while being
here, so be it.
Youre impossible, Jess. Just admit
you actually like him, like him. I
playfully shoved her shoulder.
All right, Miss Wants to Point Fingers,
you know I have ten I can point right back
at you. Kane. She placed both hands on
her hips. Admit you like him, like him.
She threw my statement back in my face.

I dont even know him, Jess! From the

few conversations weve had he seems
like a pretty laid back person. I will admit
I do feel more comfortable around him
than I should, having just met him and all.
But today after class, I heard some things
that throw up red flags.
Oh, Kelsey dont let gossip make you
doubt your gut feeling about him. I mean,
look at the shit storm we just got away
from.
I know, Jess. Thats why Im going to
be straight with him when we go out for
coffee.
Well, dont be too rough on him. Give
him a chance to clear the air. She smiled
then grabbed me by my shoulders and
pointed me toward the door. Now scoot!
Didnt you say he was waiting?

Thanks, Jess. Love you! Be back

later! I called over my shoulder as I
grabbed my purse and headed out the
door.

When I stepped into the lobby of our

dorm, I could see Kane through the glass
doors just outside leaning against a
lamppost. He was talking on his cell
phone. I took a minute to just look at him,
he seemed to be enjoying the conversation
he was having. The smile on his face was
evidence of that. He threw his head back,
as if he was laughing at whatever the
person on the other end was saying, and I
couldnt help but wonder who he was
talking to. Could it be one of the many

girls that were supposedly seen leaving

his apartment at all hours of the night?
What the hell, Kelsey? What does it
even matter to you? Youre just going out
for coffee!
Shaking the weird jealousy-induced
thoughts from my head, I pushed open the
door and stepped outside. When Kane
looked up and saw me coming, he turned
his head as if to throw this voice in the
other direction. If that was his attempt, he
failed because I could clearly hear him
tell the person on the other end of the call
that he would come over later that night.
Well, so much for wondering whom he
was talking to. Homeboy hasnt even had
coffee with me yet, and is already setting
up his plans for after. Figures.
Hey, you ready? He pushed off the

lamppost and walked my way. His smile

still plastered across his face. Those must
be some great plans he had for later.
Yeah, Jessi was, uh using the room
so I had to wait for her to um, well, finish
before I could get in, I stammered.
He let out a low chuckle, Yeah, I kind
of heard about it.
I looked up at him and cocked my
eyebrow. He had heard?
The questioning look on my face made
him continue. While I was waiting for
you, Landon came out. He told me that he
had been up to see Jessi and that you
would be down in a minute.
Ah yes, Landon. I didnt think about
him.
So, you wanna get out of here? The
coffee shop is just around the corner and

its nice out so I thought it would be a good

afternoon for a walk.
Sounds perfect.
We walked about a block from the
campus to a very small, but quaint, coffee
shop. We placed our orders, and then
found a nice quiet table off in the corner
by itself. That was probably for the best. I
was going to question him about the things
Nate had told me, and I wasnt exactly
sure how it would go. He could get totally
offended and go off on me for all I knew.
Hell, now that I was thinking about it, if
things were reversed, I would probably be
offended if he were to be asking me
personal questions that I I mean he, had
no business asking. But I had to do this. I
had to know what kind of person I was
being drawn to. I had never had someone

get to me the way he does. Never had I

been hung up on someone like I was him.
This was all so new to me and I needed to
be sure that if nothing else, I could have a
friendship with Kane. That he wasnt out
to bang the new quiet college girl.
Before I could even grab hold of my
chair, Kane reached around me and pulled
it out just like he had done at lunch earlier
that day. He stepped back a little so I
could sit down before he gently pushed it
back in, and then walked around the table
and took the seat in front of me.
I lightly blew into my cup to cool the
coffee down a bit, but honestly, I was
merely stalling. I wasnt really sure how I
was going to start this conversation. I
mean how exactly does one tell someone
else that they are not just a warm body?

That they are not interested in being a

quick lay and then being cool to pass them
on campus without so much as a hello? I
sucked in the boy department. Maybe I
should have pumped Jessi for some tips
before I ran off and agreed to set myself
up for disaster.
Sensing my awkwardness, Kane
cleared his throat and began to speak, So,
how did you feel about your first day as a
college student?
It was okay. I shrugged and sat my
coffee down on the table. You better not
have been lying about Professor Hanson
either. That lady looks like she means
business. I was right to only worry about
her. Her syllabus is crazy hard, and Im
not going to lie, she kind of scares me just
a little bit.

He laughed and took a drink of his

coffee. Believe me, I wouldnt lie to you.
The woman is a softy and she really does
care about helping you further your
education. Unlike some of the other nononsense professors, she gets that
sometimes things happen in life that you
have no control over, and she will work
with you on getting extensions and
sometimes a little extra credit if youre
behind. The woman is a godsend. She
helped me out big time when I had her. I
wasnt having the best year when I had
taken her class. In all honesty, she
probably should have failed my punk ass
but she never gave up on me.
He sat his cup down on the table and
stared at the cardboard sleeve around it. I
could tell he was lost in his own thoughts.

Maybe about whatever had been going on

with him that year that would cause him to
fall so far behind like he hadbut I
wasnt going to press it. I had my own
secrets that I wasnt willing to share just
yet, so I was in no position to ask about
his.
So, anyway, I started. Might as well
get this over with. Just like ripping off a
Band-Aid. You have quite the rep around
here, ya know. I tried to make my tone
light so that I wouldnt come off as a
judgmental bitch.
Is that so? He leaned back in his
chair and casually draped one arm over
the back.
I cleared my throat before I began
again, Seems to be. I hear you are quite
popular with the ladies.

He rolled his eyes and leaned forward,

resting his elbows on the table as he
stared straight into my eyes.
I could only guess the person you
might have heard that from; but yes, I cant
lie, I have done some pretty terrible things
in my past. I used a lot of innocent girls
and treated them a hell of a lot worse than
they deserved. But I can assure you that I
have grown a lot in the past year or so.
Im not the same person I used to be. But
none of these assholes around here
believe it.
His stare was so intense. As if he
wanted more than anything for me to
believe him.
Looking back down at my cup, I
shrugged. Its not really of my business,
Kane.

Then why even ask?

His statement made me look up at him. I
wanted to be honest with him because
hed been honest with me. Letting me
know that in his past he wasnt a real
stand-up guy, and may have used some
girls in the process, couldnt have been
easy. But I couldnt be one hundred
percent truthful with him. I couldnt tell
him that I have zero experience with guys
and the pull I felt toward him scared the
living daylight out of me. That his
abundant amount of experience with
women had me ready to run scared for the
hills. So instead, I settled for as close to
the truth as I could get and prayed that it
was enough.
I just didnt understand why. If you can
get all these other girls, why would you

even be wasting any time with me? Why

bother taking me out for coffee? Because I
can tell you right now, Im so different
from your average girl that is my age. Im
not ready to go into detail about anything
just yet, but Im not the type to hook up.
There. I said it. Now lets see how he
reacts to the fact that hes not going to
be getting any extras from me.
He took a minute to respond, though that
minute seemed like an eternity. Kelsey, I
can promise you now that I have no illintentions toward you. There is something
about you that I cant shake and I honestly
just feel the need to be close to you. I
know that sounds completely creepy, but
its the only way I know how to explain
it. He shrugged.
I knew all too well what he was trying

to explain. It was the same pull I had felt

toward him from the moment I saw him in
the caf.
Well, I am looking for new friends. I
glanced back down at my coffee because
the way he was staring at me was a little
intense. Can you do that, Kane? Can you
be my friend?
Im so embarrassed that I let all that fall
out of my mouth like that. Could I have
sounded anymore babyish? Can you be my
friend? I felt the need to bang my head on
the table in front of me, but I refrained.
Kane surprised me by reaching across
the table to gently lay his hand on my
wrist. I looked up at his face and am
confused that he seems upset.
Kelsey, I would never try to coerce
you into sleeping with me. That was never

my style anyway. And why would I not

want to spend time with you? I wont lie
about it, your beauty is the first thing that
attracted me to you. But in just the short
time that we have got to talk, I have
enjoyed our conversations and cant help
but feel I want to know you better. I would
never pressure you into anything, and
when I say anything, I mean it. Even about
your past. When you feel comfortable with
talking to me about it, know that I will be
here to listen. Friendship is something I
need at the moment too. So I should be
asking you the same question. Can you be
my friend, Kelsey?
His lips turned up into a tiny smile and I
smiled back. Im glad he didnt think I
was a complete dork for asking for
friendship. Things like that used to come

so easy to me before. I never had to ask

someone to be my friend. If it werent for
the incident that changed my life forever, I
would like to think that I would still have
the same group of friends. But things
change people change, and life doesnt
always work out the way you think it will.
Taking my free hand, I laid it on top of
his. Friends it is.
While I was so happy to have finally
made a new frienddeep down in my gut,
I found it hard to actually believe that one
could stay just friends with someone who
looks like Kane. I could be setting myself
up for disaster, but at the moment, Ill take
friendship with him over nothing at all.

The first week of classes had gone by

as smoothly as one would expect college
to. I was comfortable with my classes and
the work that each professor assigned
and Kane had been right about Professor
Hanson. After that first class, more than
half the people in attendance dropped her
class and she was a lot friendlier and less
stern than she had presented herself to be
originally.
Jessi and Landon were still spending
every ounce of free time they had together,
which in turn, left me spending a lot more
of my time with Kane. Every day we ate

lunch at the same table, and every day

after lunch, Jessi and Landon would run
off to steal a few minutes of alone time
before the next class began. Leaving Kane
and I alone. And Kane, being the good guy
he was, refused to ever let me walk to
class alone.
I was beginning to form a friendship
with Nate, also. We usually only had short
chats inside the class while we waited for
Professor Hanson to come in, because he
seemed to always avoid walking out of the
class with me like hed done that first day.
I think it was because Kane was now
always waiting for me outside the door
and Nate wanted to avoid another
confrontation. But I was finding out that
Nate was quite enjoyable to be around.
Though his family probably had more

money than God, Nate never seemed

entitled to me.
His future involved following a plan
that his father had picked out for him. He
was to graduate med school and become a
physicians assistant in his fathers
practice. The way he talked about it, he
had no say in the matter, but he seemed to
be okay with the general idea of how his
life was already planned out for him. I
wouldnt be able to follow a set idea that
someone had made for me, but to each his
own. If he was happy following his
fathers perfectly laid plan, then so be it.
It was finally Friday and as I was
packing my things up, I saw a shadow fall
over me. I looked up to find Nate standing
there. His million dollar smile beaming at
me.

So she said we could pair up in groups

for this next project. I thought I might see
if I could work with you and your friend.
Everyone else seems to have already
teamed up.
I glanced around the room, and sure
enough, you could see little groups
clustering and exchanging contact
information. I looked over at Jessi, who
just shrugged, letting me know she was
okay with the partnership.
Sure, that sounds fine. Why dont you
give me your cell number? That way we
can text each other to go over what times
and days would be best for all of us to
meet up and start planning out this
project.
Sounds great. He tore a corner piece
of paper from the notebook he had been

carrying, and scribbled his number on it

before handing it to me.
Just text me whenever you want to
meet up. He smiled, then turned and
headed for the door.
The way I see it, the more people in
the group the less I have to do, right?
Jessi asked as she rose from her seat.
We walked to the door, and as usual,
Landon and Kane were waiting. I looked
at Kane who was watching Nate head
down the hall. When he finally turned to
look toward me, I smiled at him and the
scowl on his face immediately
disappeared and turned into a full dimple
smile. The fact that he was giving Nate
that look didnt escape me though.
Hey, whats up? I placed my hand on
Kanes arm. I really wanted to know

where the animosity toward Nate came

from, but I didnt want to pry.
He glanced at me, and then back down
the hall before he spoke. So you and Nate
talk a lot? He nodded his chin in the
direction Nate had exited.
SometimesI shruggedJessi and
I are doing a project with him, though.
Oh.
Even only knowing him for a short time,
I could tell something was off about Kane.
We had been spending a lot of time
together this week, and this Kane was not
the usual happy, carefree Kane that I had
gotten used to. He was tense now, and you
could tell his body was strung tight by the
way he kept clenching and unclenching his
fists. I studied him for a brief second,
trying to figure out what was actually

wrong, but was suddenly dragged away by

Jessi before I could figure it out.
Come on, chick! We have an
appointment to get to! she said
enthusiastically.
It took me a minute to grasp what she
was talking about, but when I finally did, I
dug my pink Chucks into the ground and
jerked my arm free from her grasp. Jessi
whirled around to face me, red hair flying
like wild angry flames.
I change my mind! I stated as I
crossed my arms over my chest.
Oh, no! No youre not! We ARE doing
this Kelsey! We have talked about this far
too long to back out now. She placed her
tiny hands on her hips and glared.
This is all happening so fast, Jess. We
just got here. We are finally getting settled

and making new friends. Now were going

to get tattoos?! Cant we just slowly move
into the next phase of this whole Jessi
and Kelsey free as birds, Thelma and
Louise life you have planned?
Thelma and Louise, Kels? Really?
They die at the end of that movie! We are
just getting a tattoo!
She was so not getting it. I was all up
for change, I really was. That was the
whole plan for going off to a college in a
different state. I was ready to get away
from the place that held so many bad
memories, that for the past six months I
had counted down the days til our move
here. I wanted this clean slate hell I
needed it. But I had sheltered myself for
so long, that I didnt know the fear and
uncertainty that would come with the

changes I was making in my life now. And

honestly, now that I was finally living out
everything I had said I couldnt wait for, I
was just a little overwhelmed with it all.
The look Jessi was giving me was
enough to make grown men cry. She could
be kind of scary when she was
determined, and she was damn determined
for us to finally get these tattoos.
I huffed and stomped around Jessi,
heading toward the parking lot. Fine!
Lets do this. Lets go see a man about
some tattoos.
I didnt turn back to look at her, but I
could hear her squee and then her heals
clicking against the ground as she hurried
to catch up with me.
Lopping her arm in mine, she asked,
So did you finally make up your mind

about what you wanted to get?

I shrugged. I had a general idea of what
I wanted. I could see it in my head so
clearly, but when it came to describing it
to someone for them to draw up, I wasnt
so sure I could make them understand
what I wanted. The tattoos I had picked
out held a special meaning to me and it
needed to be perfect.
I think Im pretty set on what I want
now but I guess we will see when we get
there. Landon said his brother is an
amazing artist. That he started out drawing
and painting before someone suggested
tattooing. When he finished his first tattoo
hed found a passion he never knew he
had before.
Well that was a nice story and all. I
was really hoping this guy lived up to his

reputation. Since Id become better

friends with Kane and was actually getting
to secretly study his tattoos up close, the
detail in them did amaze me. Tattooing
really should be seen more as art and less
as stereotyping the people that have them.
If people would take the time to actually
look closely at other peoples tattoos, then
maybe they would see that not everyone
goes and gets a tear drop for murdering
someone, or gets a butterfly when they turn
eighteen just because they want to rebel
against their parents. Some people put a
lot of thought into their tattoos. Making
each one reflect a certain time in their life.
Or maybe an event that held so much
significance to them, they want it to be
remembered forever.
So far, the things I could make out from

Kanes tattoos were the very realistic

portraits of an attractive man and woman
on the inside of each of his forearms. An
extremely detailed fish was also on the
forearm with the man, and some roses and
script were on the arm with the woman. I
hadnt been able to read the script as of
yet, though.
I was still daydreaming about Kanes
tattoos when we approached Jessis car,
and it hit me that we were really about to
do this. Climbing inside, I began to fidget
with my seatbelt and Jessi placed her
small hand on my arm.
Kelsey?
Yeah? I gave the seatbelt one last tug
before finally getting it adjusted to where
it was most comfortable.
Youre going to be fine. You know that

right? This is just first tattoo jitters.

Believe it or not, when Landon and I were
talking the other night
WaitI interrupted heryou and
Landon do more than just swap spit? You
actually throw some conversation in
there? I joked.
She smiled before playfully punching
me in the arm. ANYWAY, as I was
saying when Landon and I were talking
the other night after watching one of those
tattoo shows that have been coming on TV
lately, I started to panic that I wouldnt be
able to handle the pain. You know me,
Ive never really been good with pain, and
that show we had watched had some of the
people passing out and getting sick and
I made a choking noise and she hurried to
reassure me. No, no, no! Its not going to

be like that for us. These people were

getting these huge detailed tattoos that the
tattoo artists had only a few hours to
complete. Landon said the longer the
tattoo session, the more raw your skin gets
so it begins to hurt a lot more. But it
almost had me in a full-blown panic attack
worrying that I would freak out like some
of those people. You know, that I would
not be able to stand the pain and walk
around with an unfinished tattoo for the
rest of my life.
Jess, youre really not helping me, ya
know.
Seriously, Kelsey, if anyone has this
its you. You are the strongest person I
know. I may talk a big game, but honestly,
when it comes down to it you may have to
baby me and walk me though this, she

laughed.
I hugged my best friend tight before
throwing myself back into my seat and
letting out a loud sigh. Lets get this over
with then. Who knows, we both might
surprise ourselves and think it tickles
when the tattoo machine finally breaks
through our skin. YEAH RIGHT!
Jessi stared out the windshield a second
or two before starting the car. It was nice
to know that shed had second thoughts
about this before, too. I knew I wanted
this and she wanted this so dammit,
we were going to do this!

Jessi pulled her car up in front of an

old, red brick building with a black
awning and big, blocky, white letters that
read Inner City Ink. Even after the pep talk
wed just had, I couldnt shake the
nervous feelings that were swirling
around inside me. I mean, there was a guy
in there somewhere, holding a little
humming machine with a needle attached
to one end that was about to go plunging
over and over into my skin. You see my
dilemma now, dont you?
Seriously, what kind of person can
think up something like this? Was it some

crazy individual who went to the doctor

when he was sick, got a shot and
decided, Hey, that felt fucking amazing!
How about we do it over and over again
at about 10,000 revolutions per minute,
add some ink, and make some art! Yeah,
I bet it all went down a little something
like that.
A tap on the window jolted me out of
my panicked musing, and I turned to see
Jessi standing on the other sideI hadnt
even heard her get out of the car.
Come on, chicken shit. Were here
now. Lets do this.
I considered locking the door and
pouting until she gave in and took me back
to the dorm, but she had the key fob for her
car, and I knew my fight would be in vain.
We were already there, and Jessi had her

mind set on getting those tattoos. Wed

talked about getting them for years; she
would make sure we followed through.
Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the
door handle and opened the car door. A
warm breeze washed over me when I
placed one foot on the ground, and my
eyes closed as my mind drifted back to
warm summer dayslying on a blanket
with my mom, blowing dandelion after
dandelion, and watching the seeds fly and
swirl above us.
Where do you think they will go? I
asked her. I was talking about the seeds,
but she knew that. She always knew
everything. If I was sick, she always
knew what would make me feel better. If
I was hurt, she knew the right song I

needed to hear to make me forget about

my pain.
She placed her warm hand over mine,
and I turned to face her.
Anywhere and everywhere my sweet,
Kelsey. They are free now to go off and
have adventures of their ownand do
you know who set them free to do so?
I shook my head.
You did, my sweet girl. They were
stuck here on the ground with us and just
one tiny breath from you has them flying
high and free as the birds. She smiled.
I wish I could fly like that, I sighed
as I turned to watch the tiny little seeds
flitter off into the distance.
Me too, baby, me too.
I crooked my head to look at her
again. For a brief second, I could have

sworn I saw a hint of sadness in her

eyes; but it was gone as soon as I noticed
it. Her bright smile was back, and I
didnt think about anything else except
her, the dandelions, the birds, and me.
I opened my eyes to the dingy, red brick
building. What I wouldnt have given to
go back to times when all I had to think
about was setting those tiny seeds free.
With the memory fresh in my mind, I was
more sure than ever about the design Id
chosen to mark my body with forever.
There was still nervousnessbut it was
due to the fear of the pain, not the fear of
making a mistake.
Im going to do this Im going to do
this for her.
The shop was cleaner than I had

imagined it would belike, it was

impeccably clean. There was a scent of
disinfectant in the air, and the whole place
had a sterile feel to it; making me feel a
great deal more relaxed. The hum of the
tattoo machines could be heard from down
a hall that was just off the waiting room,
and a dark-haired girl with bright purple
streaks running through her hair was
sitting behind the desk.
She glanced up at us and smiled.
Welcome to Inner City Ink. My name is
Melody. Can I help you ladies with
anything? Her voice was so light and
sweet, again, not what I had been
expecting.
I need to stop being so judgy all the
time. I mean, isnt that how my life was
before I came here? People always

judging and assuming they knew me, just

because they knew what had happened to
me?
Yes, Landon sent us. We have
appointments with Lucas. JessiShe
pointed her well-manicured finger at her
own chestand Kelsey. Jessi then
leaned a little closer to Melody, Kelsey
being the one hiding back there. She
chucked her thumb in the direction where
Id been standing a few feet behind her.
Melody glanced down at the book lying
on the counter in front of her. Yeah, I see
it right here. If you want to have a seat for
just a few minutes, I will go let him know
you ladies are here and he will be right
with you. She smiled again before
heading out of the room.
I walked over and sat on one of the

black sofas they had in the waiting area

and began scrolling through my phone
absentmindedly, needing the distraction.
Jessi plopped down beside me, and
nudged my shoulder with hers.
You ready for this girlie? If youre
really not sure about this, Kels, we dont
have to do it. You know I was joking,
dont you? I would never force you to do
something you are uncomfortable with.
You know that right? The smile shed
had all day began wavering just a bit.
I took her hand in mine and tried to
assure her. I know, Jessi. And, yes, Im
sure about this. At first I wasnt, but Im
happy with the tattoo I have picked out. I
know I wont regret this in the long run.
She nodded, wrapped her arms around
my neck, and squeezed. I love you, Kels.

Youre my best friend. I wish so hard that

I could change so many things in your past,
but I cant. The only thing I know that I can
give you is me and my friendship. She
paused and pulled back, looking me in the
eye. I will always be here for you, Kels.
I know you think youre all alone in the
big ol world now, but youre not. You
never have been. Where you go, I go til
the end, babe.
I looked at my best friends faceI
mean really looked at her. Shed meant
every word from the bottom of her heart
I knew she did. While I loved her and
her family dearly, they werent my real
family. I would be forever grateful to them
for taking me in when they didnt have to,
but I had no family. Just shattered
memories and regrets.

You must be Jessi and Kelsey, a deep

voice drew our attention, and we twisted
to see a man standing in the doorway.
With the exception of him being covered
in tattoos, and the fact that he had an
eyebrow piercing, I would have sworn it
was Landon standing there looking at us.
Oh boy, to have been in his head when
he came into the room and saw two girls
just sitting on the couch in his waiting
area, hugged up together and staring
deeply into each others eyes. Yeah, he
probably thinks were ten kinds of crazy
right about now.
We stood and walked over to him, and
he extended his hand for us each of us to
shake.
My names Lucas. What can I do for
you pretty ladies today?

We are wanting some ink, Jessi

stated the obvious. I was thinking I
would get some music notes going along
the outside of my foot. Nothing too crazy.
He nodded in acknowledgement to
Jessi, and then looked at me. And what is
it you have in mind?
I cleared my throat, I want a dandelion
on the back of my right shoulder and I
want the seeds blowing off it, flying to the
left and traveling toward my neck. But I
also want the seeds to turn into birds as
they reach the base of my neck.
He stared at me for a minute as he
absorbed what I had just told him. Nice. I
think I can do that for you. He stepped
back and glanced at the both of us. If you
want to have a seat for a few more
minutes, I can draw this up real quick, and

then we can get started.

We walked back over to the sofas and
waited for Lucas to come get us. It had
only been about thirty minutes or so when
he came walking back through the
doorway.
All right, girls, take a look at what I
have for you. He held out what he had
drawn up from our requests.
Jessis was just beautiful, and fit her
well.
When it came time for him to see mine,
I was full of nervous excitement. I wasnt
sure how he would interpret what I had
told him, but my hand flew straight to my
heart when he laid that paper out in front
of me. It was perfect. Exactly how I had
imagined it.
I love it, my voice cracked on the last

word. I was so happy Jessi talked me into

doing this now. I couldnt wait to have
this beautiful piece on my body in
remembrance of my mom.
All right then, follow me this way. We
will throw some stencils on ya and get to
work.
We followed Lucas down the hall to a
room with dark blue walls covered in
gorgeous, vibrant paintings. Each one in a
thick black frame. I walked up to the
nearest painting and took it all in. It was
beautiful. The girl in the painting was
crouched on the ground, hugging her knees
to her chest. She was surround by a room
full of faceless, blurred people. And even
though they encircled her, the emotion on
her face, in her eyes, let you know she
was alone.

Like me.
It was beautiful, and my chest tightened
when I looked back at her sad eyes. She
stared at me like she knew what sorrow
was in my heartand for some ridiculous
reasonI knew she felt the same pain as
me like she understood me.
You like? Lucas voice drew my
attention away from painting.
Yes, very much so. Who is the artist?
They are beautiful.
He laughed softly, I am.
Oh, that was right. Landon had told
Jessi that his brother started out drawing
and painting. I should have known he
would have some of his own work
displayed in his shop.
They are really beautiful, I told him
again as I turned to take one last glimpse

at the painting.
He thanked me, and then started getting
everything set up for the first tattoo. I had
decided Jessi would go first since this
was all her idea; but after Lucas had
prepped and the stencil was on her foot,
she began nervously tapping that foot
against the table. She quickly scooped my
hand up in hers and squeezed.
Jess, I love you, but youre kind of
hurting me. I glanced down at our locked
handsmine was turning a deep shade of
red from the death grip she had on me.
She immediately let go. Oh, sorry! Im
a little nervous.
ObviouslyI smiled at herIts
going to be fine, Jess. Remember?
She nodded her head profusely before
taking a deep breath and looking at Lucas.

You ready? he asked as he wheeled

his chair over to where Jessi was sitting
on the table.
Lets do this! she exclaimed as she
flung one hand over her eyes, the other
reaching out for me again.
The second the needle touched her I felt
her tense up. She was taking it well
though; at least there was no screaming or
moaning on her part. Just the occasional
squeeze to my hand that was strong enough
to make me flinch.
We were about halfway through Jessis
tattoo when we heard loud voices coming
from the front of the shop. A few moments
later, Landon and Kane appeared in the
doorway to the room we were in.
Hows she doing? Landon looked at
me and smiled.

I gave Kane a small smile when he

followed Landon silently into the room,
before turning to look at Landon. Ready
to switch? I dont know how much more
my hand can take, I joked and pried my
hand from Jessis, earning me a glare, as
Landon made his way around the table to
take my spot.
Damn you werent kidding. She has
one mean grip. Landon cringed at the
force of Jessis hold making everyone in
the room laugh.
I walked over to Kane and leaned
against the wall like he was. He looked
down at me and absentmindedly flicked
his lip ring. I loved and hated when he did
that. Loved it because it was so hot, and
hated it because it was so damn hot. Kane
messing with that lip ring made my body

tingle in places I never knew it could.

So you still getting one? he asked and
raised an eyebrow at me as he waited for
my response.
Yup. I dug my hands in my pockets.
Really now. What did you decide to
get?
Cant tell you. Its a secret. You will
just have to wait and see. I playfully bit
my lip. I noticed his eyes zero in on my
mouth, and that also for some reason made
me tingle all over.
Oh my.
Youre going to get my name tattooed
on your ass arent you? he said, and gave
a sly smile.
HA! Keep dreaming big boy, I
laughed.
At least he seemed to be in a better

mood than when Id seen him earlier. This

was the Kane I had come to know.
All done, Lucas voice filled the
room.
He wiped the excess ink from Jessis
tattoo, and we all gathered around the
table to take a look.
Its beautiful, Jess. And its so you.
Yeah, I guess it was worth the pain,
she said as she twisted her foot back and
forth to get a better look at her new tattoo.
Let me go over the care instructions
with Jessi for a quick second, and then we
will get your stencil on you, Kelsey.
I nodded and began to gather my long
hair into a messy bun on the top of my
head. It was a good thing itd been a warm
day and Id happened to wear a halter-top.
This way I wouldnt have to take my shirt

off.
After Lucas had gone over the care
instructions with Jessi, he placed the
stencil on my shoulder and neck and
handed me a small hand mirror. After
agreeing on the placement of the tattoo, I
laid down on the table and braced myself
for the pain.
I heard the wheels of Lucas stool get
closer and held out my hand for Jessi to
take, but the hand that grasped mine was
much larger and rougher than Id been
expecting. I glanced up to find Kane
smiling down at me.
I got you, Kelsey. Its going to be
okay.
His words soothed more than just the
nervous jitters I was feeling about the
tattoo. When he said those words, I felt

them to my core. Like he already knew all

about my past, and was telling me it
would all be okay in the end. I smiled at
him before laying my head back down on
the table for Lucas to begin on my tattoo.
The sting when the needle first
penetrated my skin wasnt as bad as I
thought it was going to be. Dont get me
wrong, overall, the whole experience hurt
like hell Im not even going to play like
it didnt. But every time I thought the pain
was beginning to be too much, Kane was
there whispering words of encouragement
in my ear. Letting me know that it was
almost over and that it would be worth it
in the end.
After what seemed like forever, the
tattoo machine finally shut off and I felt
Lucas pour the cool, cleaning solution

over my raw skin before applying

ointment to the fresh ink. I couldnt wait to
finally see it. When he was finished, Kane
helped me slowly rise from the table to a
sitting position, and made me take a few
minutes to sit there and make sure I
wouldnt take a dizzy spell and come
crashing to the floor. After a few minutes
of insisting I was fine, Kane finally let me
stand and walk over to the larger mirror in
the room. Thats when I noticed Jessi and
Landon were missing.
Kane must have seen me looking for
them because he answered my unspoken
question, She saw you bleeding a little
and kinda freaked out. Landon took her to
get something to eat. They are waiting for
us at the restaurant now.
That made sense. Jessi never had been

good with blood and she kept her hand

over her face throughout her entire tattoo.
Lucas followed me to the larger mirror
and placed the smaller one in my hand
again. Taking a deep breath, I lifted the
mirror to take a look at my back. When my
eyes landed on my new tattoo, I felt the
tears well up in my eyes. It was beautiful
perfect.
I looked at Kane and then Lucas; both
were smiling at me as I tried to find the
words to tell them how much I loved my
tattoo but all words seemed to fail me
at that moment. I took one last look before
handing the mirror back over to Lucas.
Lucas I love it. Really. Its like you
saw right into my head and how I pictured
it, and put it on my body. You really are
amazing at what you do. Thank you so

much!
Really, Kelsey, it was nothing. I
enjoyed doing this tattoo too. Ive never
done one like it before so its always fun
to do something different and you did
great by the way. You sat like a rock
through the whole thing. For this being
your first tattoo, thats something.
After Lucas went over the care
instructions with me, I thanked him again,
and Kane and I exited the shop into the
cool night air. The temperature had
dropped quite a bit from when we first
went into the shop, and my halter-top
wasnt so perfect for the weather
anymore. I shivered from the cool night
breeze as we walked to the restaurant
where Jessi and Landon were waiting for
us.

Cold? Kane asked, and I nodded.

A little, but its not too bad, and we
should be there in a few minutes anyway.
Kane stopped and began to pull the
black long sleeve shirt he was wearing
over his head. As he pulled it up, his gray
undershirt went up part of the way with it
revealing a flat, toned stomach, and the
top of gray boxers. If I wasnt mistaken, I
thought Id caught a glimpse of a tattoo
peeking over the top of his boxers.
After pulling the shirt all the way off, he
tugged his undershirt down before holding
up the other shirt for me.
Kane, really, you dont have to do that.
We will be there in a little while
anyway.
Kelsey, I insist. He gave the shirt a
little shake to let me know he was waiting.

I stepped closer to him, but he didnt

hand the shirt over to me. Instead, he held
it above me and pushed my head through
the collar before telling me to slide my
arms into the sleeves. Anyone passing us
on the street may have found it odd to see
him dressing me right there on the
sidewalk, but my stomach was so full of
butterflies that I really didnt care what
anyone else thought at the moment.
Now that I was dressed in his shirt, we
continued on our walk to the restaurant. I
couldnt help but secretly lean my nose
closer to my shoulder to get a whiff of the
sweet smell that was Kane.
That smell would forever be burned
into my memory. Just like his eyes were.

That night after dinner, Kane and

Landon walked us back to Jessis car
before they headed off to Landons truck.
When I offered to give Kane his shirt
back, he refused and I smiled, secretly
loving the fact that I was going to get to
keep it for a few more hours.
By the time Jessi and I had made it back
to the dorm I was so ready to crash. As
soon as we stepped inside our room,
exhaustion overtook me, and I flopped
down on my bed. I didnt bother to take
Kanes shirt offand honestly I was
enjoying the fact that I would be able to

drift off to sleep with his sweet smell all

around me.
I awoke to the sounds of blood-curdling
screams, and it took me a second to
realize that the screams were coming from
me. By the time I opened my eyes, Jessi
was hovering over me concern etched
all over her face.
Kelsey, oh thank God you finally woke
up!
Finally woke up? How long had I been
screaming? My raw throat and hoarse
voice let me know that I must have been
screaming for quite some time.
About five minutes. You woke me up
with your screams. I tried to wake you up
but no matter what I did, you just wouldnt
open your eyes. It was so scary. I didnt
know what to do. Usually youre so easy

to wake up when you have your

nightmares, but there was something
different about this one. I couldnt get you
to come out of it.
I felt so bad for putting my friend though
my many years of night terrors. It had been
a few months since my last one, though,
and I wasnt sure what would just bring
them on again.
This one was just like the othersI
was back in my old house, reliving the
whole thing all over again and again. The
last thing I remembered when Id woken
up was those eyes staring back at me.
It was the same eyes I looked at day in
and day out. The warm, honey color
would make you believe the person who
wore those eyes would be full of warmth
and love when in reality he was as

cold as ice, and as evil as the days were

long. My eyes were the only things my
father had given me; but he had taken
everything.
He had taken my mother from me the
night he murdered her.
The night I did nothing but sit there and
watch.
Jessi sat back on her heels, giving me
room to sit up on the edge of my bed. I
pulled my hair at the roots, hoping the pain
radiating from my scalp would dull the
pain I felt at my core after reliving that
night through my dream. But honestly,
nothing ever soothed that ache and it never
would. Throughout the years, the guilt had
lessened a bit but I knew it would never
fully go away. Some days it was easier to
deal with, some days the pain and guilt

was so crippling it was hard for me to

even get out of bed. Thats why I would
forever be in debt to Jessi and her
wonderful family. I wouldnt have made it
through the last six years without them.
I know this is a stupid question, but
are you okay now? Jessi whispered.
I nodded. Yeah, Jess, I am. But could
you do me a favor? Will you sleep with
me tonight?
This wasnt a strange request to her.
For the longest time after I had moved in
with her, the images of that night came
back so strong and real that she slept most
nights in bed with me. I couldnt stand to
be alone. Every time I was alone, I was
left with only my thoughts, and at that time
my every thought was of that night. Being
alone was just a reminder that I wasin

every sense of the wordalone.

Sure, silly. Now scoot. These beds are
a lot smaller than the ones we have at
home though. So just know if my ass ends
up on the floor sometime throughout the
night, Im going kick yours when I climb
back in bed with you, she joked, trying to
lighten the mood.
Deal, I said and scooted as far as the
wall would allow.
Thank you, Jess. For everything, I
whispered to the dark room, and her tiny
hand grasped mine.
Youre my best friend, Kelsey. Ill
always be here.
Exhaustion from the dream finally took
over and I drifted off to sleep again,
holding tight to my best friends hand.
I slept through the rest of the night in a

peaceful, dreamless sleep.

A thump that I assumed was Jessis

body hitting the floor, was our wakeup
call the next morning. After the thump, I
heard muffled curse words being thrown
around before Jessis wild red hair
popped up over the side of my bed.
Good Morning. I sweetly smiled at
her.
She grunted at me before returning my
greeting with a quick, Mornin. before
she crawled over to her bed, climbed in,
and went back to sleep.
I silently laughed before making my
way to the bathroom for a quick shower.
Lucas said it would be okay to shower the

next morning, just as long as I tried to

keep my more fragrant-filled soaps away
from the tattoo as much as possible.
I hopped in the shower and began
washing my hair, making sure to keep my
hair away from my new tattoo. After I was
done, I used a clip to hold my hair on top
of my head as I began to wash my body.
All and all I think I did a pretty good job
keeping my tattoo out of harms way, but I
was stilling going to have to wake
Sleeping Beauty in there to help me clean
the tattoo and reapply the ointment Lucas
had given us for them.
After finally waking Jessi, and more or
less pushing her into the bathroom so she
could take her shower, we doctored our
tattoos and set out for the day. We started
the morning off with a cup of coffee and

small breakfast at the coffee shop Kane

and I had gone to that first day after class
to have our talk. We then decided a little
girls day to celebrate making it through
the first week of classes was in order.
After finding a salon that could fit us both
in, we got our hair washed, trimmed, and
styled. There was nothing like having
someone else wash your hair. Even if
wed already had showers that morning,
there was something about salon
shampoos that made your hair shine and
bounce like no other shampoo could.
We both had perfectly-styled, fullbouncing, curls when we came out of the
salon. Mine were swept to my left side by
a French braid that way I could wear it
down, and still keep it off my tattoo.
Jessi wanted to go out tonight and of

course she had to have a brand new outfit

for the occasion, so we stopped by a few
local clothing stores before heading back
to the dorm. I was tighter on money than
Jessi, so I figured I would just look
around and not really buy anything. Well,
that had been the plan at least, until I found
the cutest pink, off the shoulder dress. The
material was so soft and was made to fit
you tight and show off all your curves. I
was lovingly petting the material when
Jessi came up behind me and squealed.
Oh mah God, Kelsey! You have to get
that dress for tonight! With your tan skin
and brown hair, that pink will just pop!
she exclaimed.
She had a point. I had always been
naturally tan, and bright colors always
stood out best on me. But bright colors

also drew attention, and attention was

something I just wasnt so comfortable
with anymore.
I dont know, Jessi. I already have
some stuff that I can wear. Theres really
no point in wasting money for this.
At least try it on, Kels. Please
pretty please! I want to see how hot you
look in it.
I stared at the dress for another second
or two before conceding there really
wasnt any harm in just trying it on. Fine.
Let me see if there is a changing room
open.
I walked into the first open room and
hung the dress up on one of the hooks. I
stood there staring at the dress for another
minute. It had been a long time since I had
actually bought myself anything as nice as

this dress.
After sliding the soft dress over my
body, I looked at myself in the mirror.
Trying on this dress might have been a
mistake because now that I saw it on me, I
really wanted it. It came down to midthigh, a little shorter than what I was used
to, but the dress was so beautiful I didnt
mind. The one strap that was going across
my left shoulder was embossed with tiny
silver jewels that glittered when the light
hit them. I was in love with the dress and
it fit me like a glove.
Kelsey! Jessi banged on the door to
my changing room. Dont you even think
about taking that dress off before Ive had
the chance to see it on you!
She knew me so well. If I was trying on
clothes and didnt like the way they

looked on me, there was no way I was

stepping out of those tiny rooms to let the
whole store see me in it. But that wasnt
the case with this dress. I loved this dress
and had a feeling once Jess saw me in it,
she would be adamant that I buy it.
I slowly twisted the lock, and then the
knob to the changing room door before
stepping out.
Jessis swift intake of air was all I
needed to hear to know she also thought
the dress was perfect for me. Kelsey
you HAVE to buy that dress for tonight!
And I have a pair of silver heels that will
go perfect with it!
I took a look at myself in the large
three-sided mirror they had set up outside
the changing rooms. She was right. I had
to buy this dress. It hugged my body in all

the right places without looking sleazy.

I think Im gonna do. Im gonna buy
it. I smiled.
Great! You can wear it tonight when
we meet Landon and Kane at Shots!
she pausedOh mah God! I cant wait to
see Kanes face when you walk in
wearing it! Eeep! Hes going to die! Or
get a serious stiffy. She winked.
Kane and I were just friends. I doubted
he would be interested in what I was
wearinglet alone have that other
problem. The guy had probably seen girls
in skin tight, lacey red lingerie. There was
no way he would get turned on by plain
little me in a dress. It was official. My
best friend had lost it. But now I was
feeling a little self-conscious in this dress
that five minutes ago, I had been in love

with.
But a small tremor of excitement
worked its way through my body when I
stopped to think about Kanes reaction to
seeing me in this dress tonight. He had
never seen me dolled up before so this
would be a big surprise for him. Will he
like it?
Hold it right there! Will he like it? Did
I seriously just ask myself that question?
Since when did I worry about what I was
wearing before meeting Kane? I could feel
a shift in the way I viewed Kane, and I
wasnt sure how I felt about it. If these
feelings for him continued to grow, I could
possibly mess up the closest friendship I
have had since Jessi. I needed to lock this
down, now.
Jessi insisted she do my makeup when

we were back in the dorms and getting

ready. Shed wanted to give me a smokey
eye to bring out the bright honey color;
and when she was done and I looked at
myself in the mirror, I found myself staring
at a girl I didnt recognize at first, but in a
good way.
Jessi had really done a number on my
eyes. They were dramatic and seductive
looking, and I loved it. If it hadnt taken so
long to get all glammed up like this, I
would even consider doing it on a regular
basis. But seeing as how my butt hurt from
sitting in my desk chair for so long while
Jessi worked her magic, I would have to
pass.
Once I was back in my beloved pink
dress, Jessi handed me her silver heels
and I immediately began shaking my head.

No way, Jessi! You know how big of a

klutz I am. I will kill myself in those
before the night is over with.
You have to wear them, Kelsey. The
go perfect with your dress, and, besides,
heels make your legs look all toned and
hot and stuff. They may hurt like a bitch
when the night is over but at least you look
fucking incredible while you have them
on.She thrust the shoes at me again
Now. Put. Them. On.
I yanked the shoes from her grasp and
slipped them on my feet. Already I could
feel the pinch in my toes, and when I
stood, my ankles started to wobble. Yeah,
this was not going to end well. I just knew
it.

We had taken another cab to Shots, and

when the driver pulled up there was no
mistaking the tall, tattooed man standing
outside laughing with the doorman. Kane
was wearing a dark pair of blue jeans and
a dark blue button-up shirt that had the
sleeves rolled up mid forearm. The shirt
fit him nicely, hugging his chest and arms
in all the right places. His lip ring glinted
in the lights and made me go warm all
over. Who would have ever thought I
would be so attracted to a lip piercing?
Not me, thats for sure.
Jessi opened the door to the cab and

climbed out, but I had to take my time

sliding across the seat and shimmying my
way out of the car so that I didnt flash my
coocah at everyone. I mean I was wearing
panties, but still, how trashy.
My dress had ridden up a good inch or
so on my thighs by the time Id finally
emerged from the car, so I quickly tugged
it back into place before looking around to
make sure no one had noticed. Kane was
staring at me with a look on his face I had
never seen him use before. I had seen that
look before but it had been never directed
toward me. It was a look of hunger. He
was looking at me like I was the last piece
of triple chocolate cake and he had
deprived himself of sweets for years. I felt
a tremor run though my body just from the
intensity of his stare.

I took my sweet time making my way

toward him in one of those slow-motion
effects you see in movies and also
because I still wasnt used to the death
traps on my feet; and eating it right now
would ruin the vibe I had going for me at
the moment.
Jessi and Landon were standing next to
Kane by the time Id reached him, and
everyone just stood there gawking at me
for a second. I was beginning to feel a
little insecure at the way they were all
staring until Landon let out a long whistle,
looking me up and down.
Damn girl. You look good! he
howledearning him a soft punch to the
gut from Jessi.
What about me, jerk? She glared up
at him.

Baby, youre so beautiful all the time

that you knock the words right out of me.
Jessi rolled her eyes and muttered
Kiss assMaking us all laugh, but
when I looked at Kane, he wasnt
laughing. He was still starting at me.
All right, kids. You ready to get in
there? Jessi said and looped her arm
around Landons waist.
We all nodded and made our way into
the building. The boys offered to get our
drinks after we found a table, and other
than asking what I wanted to drink, Kane
didnt say a word to me. Nothing about
how I looked, or even a quick hello when
I first walked up.
Maybe he doesnt like the change in
my appearance like I thought he would.
Jessi laid a hand on mine and leaned in

close when she noticed my quietness.

Whats wrong chick?
Nothing. I shrugged.
She gave me her spill it look and I
sighed before leaning in close to her ear
so she would hear me over the music.
Its so stupid, really, but I dont know
I kinda hoped that maybe Kane would
like getting to see a different side of me or
something.
Jessi looked at me for a while before
busting out laughing.
What, Jess?! I know its stupid to want
him to notice me, but do you really have to
laugh at me right now about this?
Kelsey, honey, Im not laughing about
him not wanting you. Im laughing because
you dont realize that he does.
What in the world was she talking

about? Kane looked at me as nothing

more than a friend, and we had agreed on
being exactly that just one week ago. One
week. It really seemed like I had known
Kane so much longer than a week.
The boys returned to the table before I
could question Jessi more about her last
statement. Kane slid in beside in me but
never uttered a word to me. He placed my
drink in front of me and began sipping
from his bottle of beer. This night was
shaping up to be one of the most pathetic
nights of my life.
I was about halfway through my drink
when Nate approached our table. He
smiled at everyone before looking to me.
Wow, Kelsey. You look amazing.
I felt a blush creep up my neck to my
face. At least someone had noticed and

commented on my new appearance. I just

wished it had come from a different
person.
Thanks, I said, managing a small
smile at him.
So, could I bother you for a dance?
Everyone at the table was deathly quiet
while they waited for my answer. They all
stared at me, including Kane, who was
staring at me so hard you would think he
was trying to look through me.
I shook my head. Maybe later? We just
got here. Im still not finished with my
drink.
Ill hold you to that. Nate nodded and
winked before walking away.
I cant tell if its the music playing, but I
could have sworn I heard Kane growl at
Nate before he left.

We sat in an uncomfortable silence for

a few minutes before Jessi drug Landon
out onto the dance floor. Kanes actions
tonight were making me nervous and I
began fidgetingmessing with my hair,
pulling at my dress anything to distract
me from the awkward tension between us.
After a few moments, Kane cleared his
throat and I looked at him through my
lashes.
You really do look amazing, Kelsey.
Thank you, I clipped out. I knew I
sounded bitchy, but I was a little hurt. I
couldnt figure out if he was only telling
me because Nate had said it. Because if he
had meant it, why in the world would he
have waited so long to tell me?
He let out a loud sigh and began
scrubbing his face with his hands. I

watched him for a second before he turned

in the seat to completely face me. Look, I
know I should have told you earlier but I
was stunned when you stepped out of the
cab. Ive never seen you in anything other
than jeans, and, honestly, those sexy legs
of yours had me floored. I loved what I
was seeing, but it also made me jealous
that other guys would be seeing it
enjoying itjust as much as me. And for
that I am a complete ass.
It took me a moment to fully grasp what
he was saying. He liked how I looked and
the reason he was so quiet about it all this
time was because he didnt like the idea
of other guys checking me out? So did this
mean No he couldnt. Could he?
I took a good look at Kane. His eyes
never wavered from mine. Could the

feeling that I have been feeling for him

actually be mutual?
Just as I opened my mouth to ask him
that question, he surprised me by speaking
first.
Can we just start this night over? Will
you dance with me?
I couldnt seem to make my brain
function enough to form words so I just
nodded. Kane slid from the booth and took
my hand to help me out of it as well, and
we made our way to the dance floor. A
slower, more relaxed song was playing,
and I was so thankful for the change of
pace in the music. I wasnt really sure I
could handle any bumping and grinding at
the moment. Not with the realization that
Kane may actually be as attracted to me,
as I was to him.

Kane held tight to my hand as he led us

through all the bodies to the middle of the
dance floor. We stood surrounded by
people, but I was so focused on Kane that
they began to blur from my vision, and
then it was like they werent even there at
all. When he took me in his arms and
began to sway to the beat of the song, I
cleared my mind and lost myself in the
music.
I slowly ran my hands up his arms,
feeling every indention from every muscle
and I could feel them flexing under my
touch. When I finally made it to the top of
his arms, I wrapped my hands around the
back of his neck and stared into those gray
eyes I couldnt get enough of. The song
playing was an older Lenny Kravitz song,
and when Kane began to whisper the

lyrics in my ear, I knew I would never be

able to listen to this song again and not
think of Kane and this exact moment.
He released his hold on me long enough
to reach up and tuck my hair behind my
ear before slowing running his fingers
through it and laying it over my shoulder,
exposing my neckline. Leaning in, he
placed his lips on my bare shoulderfirst
kissing, and then giving a little nibble. He
continued lightly running his nose and lips
along my shoulder to my neck. I felt my
eyes drifting close and my knees beginning
to weaken.
I wasnt even sure if we were still
dancing. I was too caught up in Kane and
what his soft kisses and caresses were
doing to my body. He made his way to my
ear and pulled my lobe into his mouth,

catching my diamond stud between his

teeth before releasing it to nibble on the
sensitive spot just below my ear.
I couldnt stop the moan that escaped
my lips when I felt his warm tongue touch
my skin. My whole body was on fire. If
his lips felt this good touching my neck, I
could just imagine what they would feel
like pressed against my own.
I slowly pulled back enough for him to
look at me, and pled with my eyes for him
to understand what I wanted... needed in
this moment. His eyes were hooded
leading me to believe he was feeling the
same desire I was feeling. From the
moment I had met Kane, he had sparked
something in me that was undeniable. The
attraction I had felt for him was no longer
just attraction. I couldnt deny the

feelings that were laced within all the

want I had burning inside for him.
Kelsey, he whispered, Im sorry I
just did all that, Im not. I want to kiss
you so fucking bad right now. I have
wanted to for so long, and I dont think I
will be able to tell myself no any longer.
But if you say no, then I will somehow
find the strength to not crush my mouth to
yours and make you forget every problem
you have ever hadmake you forget even
your own name.
Just say the word Kelsey and I will
back off. But I cant go another moment
without letting you know that right now,
all I can think about is how good your skin
tastes, and its driving me crazy. I need to
know how those lips taste, how soft they
are, how they would feel moving against

my own. Please, Kels

I couldnt catch my breath, let alone
pull enough air into my lungs to speak and
tell him that I wanted nothing more than
his lips on mine. All I could do was hope
the look I was giving him was enough to
convince him not to stop.
He stared at me for a minute, and when
it was obvious that I wasnt able to speak
just yet, he went ahead and leaned in ever
so slightly, touching his lips to mine. I
could feel the cool metal from his lip ring
against my lips, and it made a fire inside
me come alive.
It was the lightest kiss, but it had my
body feeling like a live wire. Like an
electric current was rolling off me. I felt
him pulling away, and disappointment
from the loss of contact of our lips filled

me. But that feeling was short livedhe

came back in hard and fast, crushing his
lips to mine once again.
His eager tongue traced my lips,
begging for entrance into my mouth, which
I happily obliged. His warm tongue slid
into my mouth and massaged my own. I
could taste beer from his kiss, but it only
made me want to devour him that much
more.
My breathing was shallow and ragged
when he pulled back and rested his
forehead against mine. At this point, I
wasnt sure if I would ever really breathe
right again.
He finally pulled his head back and
lightly ran his thumb across my cheek
bone. I automatically leaned into his touch
and realized I didnt know if I would ever

really be able to be without his touch ever

again. Kane was addicting, plain and
simple. He was like a hard drug I couldnt
get enough of.
That was better than all the times I
have dreamt about it, he finally
whispered.
Deciding I would have to try to
converse back before he thought I was a
lunatic, I did my best to gather the strength
to speak. Youve dreamt about kissing
me before?
Ive dreamt about a lot more than just
kissing you, Kelsey. He stared into my
eyes as he said this, and I could feel my
chest grow warm and tight just from the
thought of him dreaming about me.
Ive dreamt about you too. I couldnt
believe I had been so bold as to tell him

that.
My dreams were far from just kissing
him. In my dreams we knew each other on
intimate levels. This friendship thing was
nonexistent when I was sleeping.
Kane slowly closed his eyes. Kelsey,
you shouldnt tell me stuff like that right
now. Not when all I want to do is drag
you out that door and up the stairs to my
apartment so I can.
Before Kane could finish his sentence,
a shouting match interrupted him and
another fight broke out. People were
pushing and shoving and I could hear a
few girls screaming. This was nothing like
the fight that had taken place the first night
we had met. This fight was much larger.
When I scanned the room, it looked as
though everyone was throwing punches

left and right. More girls were screaming

and crying by the minute, and I was scared
that maybe a few of them were receiving
some of those blows in all the chaos.
Come on, he said as he began
dragging me away from the madness, but
in all the commotion, the grip on our hands
broke and we lost each other.
Kane! I screamed. I didnt want to be
left in the middle of all this. It brought
back way too many memories. I could feel
the panic ceasing up my lungs. Kane! I
yelled again, but I couldnt see him
anywhere.
I felt am arm wrap around my waist
from behind, and I thought, finally Kane
has found me. It wasnt until the face of
the person holding me leaned in, and I
could feel the scruff of his facial hair

against my cheek did I realize this person

was not Kane.
Here now little darlin. Its gonna be
all right, let ol Rick getcha outta here, he
breathed into my ear. His breath alone
was enough to turn my stomach, but the
thought of him holding me was making it
worse. I grabbed hold of his forearm and
tried to pry myself loose but there was no
use. He was too strong.
You just keep real quite now, and we
will slip on out this door over here where
its less crowded.
I tried to remember some of the selfdefense moves I learned in a class that
Jessi and I had taken our sophomore year
in high school; but with the panic and
adrenaline coursing through my veins, it
was making it harder to clear my head and

think.
When he started pulling me back
toward the door, some of the smoke in my
head finally cleared. Thinking quickly, I
brought my knee up and stomped as hard
as I could on his foot. This caused him to
loosen his hold on me, enough for me to
break away and run.
Pushing my way through body after
body, I just kept going. Terrified that he
was right behind me coming after me. I
heard my name being called about the time
that I was scooped up into another set of
arms. Panic flooded through me again
before the smell of Kanes cologne filled
my nose, and I took a deep breath. With
my face buried into his chest I tried to
control my breathing.
I lost you, Kels, Im so sorry! I tried to

get back to you, but you werent there and

I have been calling out your name trying to
find you. Are you okay?
I shook my head no into his chest
unable to form words right then. He
placed his hands on my shoulders and
pushed me back a little bit so he could get
a good look at my face.
What happened, Kels? What is it? Did
someone hurt you? His voice was calm
and steady, but I could hear the pure rage
laced within it.
Some some guy grabbed me. Said
he was going to slip me out some back
door.
He immediately started to walk away
from me, but I hurried to grab hold of his
hand and stop him before he could get too
far.

Where are you going? I asked him.

Not wanting him to leave me alone for
another second in this madhouse. People
were still shouting, and I wasnt even sure
if the bouncers had put a stop to the fight
yet.
Im going to find him, Kels. And when
I do, Im going to beat him within an inch
of his life. He went to turn again and I
gave his arm another tug.
Please dont leave me again, Kane.
You dont even know what he looks like.
Just get me out of here please, I
begged him.
His face softened and he paused before
nodding. I know what he really wanted to
do was find that man and follow through
with all of his threats, but the night had
been a roller coaster of emotions and I

really just wanted to get out of there.

Kane gently took my hand and began
leading me back toward the doors. He
pulled his phone from his pocket, and
tapped the screen a few times before
putting it to his ear.
Hey, I have Kelsey. Im going to take
her up to my apartment for a little while.
Some dude tried to grab her in all the
commotion and shes pretty shaken up, he
said to the person on the other end. Okay.
See you guys in a few.
He slid his phone back in his pocket,
and then looked at me. Landon. He and
Jessi are going to meet us at the stairs to
my apartment. I just live above the bar.
Well there was a fun fact I didnt know.
I never really thought to ask him where he
lived. Even though the thought should have

crossed my mind after the story Nate had

told me about Kane leaving the frat and
all.
We exited the front doors to the bar and
made our way down the sidewalk. When
he started pulling me down a dark
alleyway, I paused and started to pull my
hand from his. There was no light except
for a small, yellow bulb at the top of a
stairway attached to the side of the
building that the bar was located in.
It wasnt as though I was scared of the
dark, but places like this creeped me out
and it would creep out any sane person
really. Weve all seen those movies
where the dumb girl goes off into the dark
hallway and the killer is lurking in the
shadows somewhere before he jumps out
and grabs her. It was that type of darkness.

Chills ran down my spine at the thought of

the man from the bar hiding somewhere in
the shadows.
Kane stopped when I pulled my hand
from his, and turned to look at me. What
is it? he asked.
I nodded toward the alley. Its really
dark.
He took my hand in his again. Im so
used to it that I guess I dont realize that it
could be a little freaky for others. Its
okay, Kelsey. Im here with you now. I
would never let anything happen to you. If
I hadnt been such a dumbass, what
happened in the bar would have never
happened. But I can promise you now that
I can make damn sure it never happens
again.
He was brushing his thumb over my

knuckles so vigorously that they were

starting to feel a bit raw. Out of instinct I
reached out with my other hand and
placed it against his cheek. His expression
softened and he covered his hand with
mine.
Im fine, Kane, really. I feel safe with
you. It may be crazy but I have since the
moment we met.
He smiled as he pulled my hand from
his cheek and laid it against his chest
where his heart was. Even through his
shirt I could feel its steady beat.
Im so glad I met you, Kelsey. From
the moment I saw you in the caf that day,
your face has been stuck in my head. Even
when I closed my eyes to sleep all I
saw was your beautiful face. I thought it
was crazy since I didnt even know you.

Oh I knew exactly what he was talking

about. Since the moment I had laid eyes on
Kane, he had consumed my every thought.
I had been just chalking it up to him being
so different from any other guy I had ever
met before. Back home, tattoo sleeves and
facial piercings were just not the norm,
but he sure wore them well.
This past week with Kane had really
shown a side of him I would have never
known existed had I not taken the time to
get to know him. It was the little things he
would do; like holding the door open for
not only me, but for anyone else who
would also be behind us. And one day we
had gone to the market closest to campus
so I could restock mini fridge in Jessis
dorm room and mine, I had been talking
my time browsing over every pop tart

flavor known to man when Kane walked

away from me.
At first I thought he was tired of
standing there waiting on me to finally
make my decision, but I was surprised to
find he had actually just walked the short
distance to the front of the aisle to help an
older lady who was desperately trying to
reach a box that was placed on one of the
higher shelves.
Guys who took the time help others like
that couldnt be the awful womanizer type
that some people were portraying Kane to
be, could they?
The sound of giggles and then someone
clearing their throat pulled me away from
the memories from this last week. When I
looked to where the sound had come from,
I saw Jessi and Landon standing off to the

side of the ally, staring at Kane and me. I

realized then why they had those shocked,
yet pleasantly surprised looks on their
facesKane and I were still standing toeto-toe with one of my hands in his, and my
other pressed against his chest.
I nervously took a step back away from
Kane. For a few more seconds he
continued to hold my hand until I gently
pulled it free from his grasp. I didnt miss
the way his expression turned slightly
irritated before the corners of his mouth
dipped down into a frown.
We were just checking to see if Kelsey
might want a ride home. Landon wavered
a bit, as if he were nervous.
I heard Kane sharply inhale before
Landon went on.
I was taking Jessi back to the dorms,

and we thought we would go ahead and

take Kelsey. Save you the trouble and all.
Kane stood there in silence for a few
secondsseconds that felt more like an
eternitybefore answering. I dont mind
taking her but she can do whatever she
wants. He finally turned to look at me.
There was something about his
expression, as if he was testing me. But,
stupidly, when I opened my mouth to
speak, my insecurities got the best of me.
Well since they are already on their
way there, I guess I will just catch a ride
with them. No sense in dragging you out.
The disappointed look on his face let
me know I had failed his test and the
whatever he huffed before turning and
heading up his stairs, was the bright red
pen marking my forehead with a huge F.

I watched him stomp up his stairs, but

before he entered his apartment, he gave
me one last look. There was no mistaking
the hint of sadness in his eyes, and right
there, in that ally I wanted to die.

The next morning when I woke, I laid in

my bed and stared at my ceiling. My
dreams of what might have happened had I
actually made it up to Kanes apartment,
had made me restless. Was I even ready
for something like that? I didnt want to be
those type of girls that fall so hard and fast
for a guy they just met, but here I was
falling for Kane.
His experience scared me though. I
wasnt ready to go and jump in his bed.
Was he expecting that from me? Was he
expecting that if he had actually got me in
his apartment last night? I would like to

think no. When I was with Kane, I was

one hundred percent comfortable. But
when I was away from him, the little
thoughts of doubt crept into my mind and it
was hard to get rid of them. Doubts about
his true intentions with me. Doubts about
if I would even be enough for him.
I laid there for a few more minutes,
having an internal tug of war with myself
over Kane before deciding a nice hot
shower might help calm the struggle going
on inside me. After stepping out of the
shower, I wrapped a towel around me and
walked over to the mirror. With my hand,
I wiped the condensation from it and
stared at the girl reflected back at me. I
still looked like the scared twelve-yearold girl from six years ago.
If my mom were still here, she would

know exactly what to do about the Kane

situation. My mom always knew the right
things to say but she wasnt here, and it
was partially my fault.
Not being able to stomach looking at
myself any longer, I grabbed my hairbrush
from the countertop and headed back to
the room to finish getting ready. I sat on
my bed and began brushing the tangles
from my hair when my phone chimed that I
had a text. I looked at the screen and saw
Kanes name.
I couldnt seem to make my fingers
slide across the small screen fast enough. I
had contemplated texting him before I
went to sleep last night to make sure he
was okay. I should have just let him bring
me back to the dorms. We had shared a
kiss after alla hot one at thatbut Id

let my insecurity talk me out of it.

Kane: Will you meet me tonight?
I took a deep breath before typing out
my response.
Just tell me when and where.
I held my breath waiting for his
response. He was taking his time
messaging me back. What if the text had
been meant for some other girl and now
hed realized his screw up?
Kane: Pick you up at 7.
Seven? That was more than twelve
hours from now. I would drive myself
crazy all day waiting for seven oclock,
but I texted him back with an okay and
went about brushing my hair again.
When I was almost finished drying my
hair sometime later, my phone chimed
again taking me by surprise and making

me jump. Grabbing my phone, I saw it

was actually a text from Nate.
Nate: So study partner. You guys
ready to get this project started?
Shit. I forgot all about having to meet
up and discuss our assignment. But now
that I was thinking about it, I needed to do
something to pass the time while I waited
for seven. I texted him back letting him
know I would wake Jessi and we would
meet him in the library in a couple of
hours. I had to say hours because Jessi
was still sleeping there was no way she
was going to be ready in less than two
hoursnot counting how long it was
going to take me to finally coerce her from
her bed.
Just as I had thoughtit had taken me
about forty minutes, and a lot of bouncing

on the bed to actually stir her and get her

ass in the shower. We ended up not getting
to the library until around one oclock.
Nate was already there, waiting at the
front desk tapping away at his cell phone.
Im sorry, I apologized to him. Have
you been waiting long?
He smiled and slid his phone into his
pocket and shrugged. Nah, just got here
myself actually, and I didnt expect you to
get here on time anyway. Girls like to be
fashionably late or whatever they call it.
He winked.
Amen to that! Jessi chimed in from
behind me and I sent her a glare. She knew
I hated being late. She had grown used to
me always being on her ass about making
it to places on time.
Well, anyway, you ready to get

started? I asked them both and we found

a quiet table and began to discuss ideas
for what we were going to do.
Before I knew, it the hours had passed
and it was already 6:45 P.M. We had been
on a roll with brainstorming and setting up
who would handle which parts of the
project. Jessi had even been throwing
ideas around. I think we had made the
right decision to include Nate into our
group. He was set on what he was going
to do, so there would be no sitting back
and letting the girls handle all the work.
Which was different then what I was used
to. In high school most boysand well
lets face it Jessiwould just throw
their names on the finished project at the
end.
With it being so late, there was no way

I was going to have time to make it back to

the dorm and freshen up before Kane
came; so I texted him and told him to just
pick me up at the library.
Jessi left a little before Nate and myself
to meet Landon. They were going to go to
some party that Nates frat was throwing
tonight. He had invited me during our
study time, but I declined, just saying I had
plans for the night.
When we finally had everything
organized, Nate offered to take it all with
him to keep up with it until the next time
we got together to go over the project.
Worked out perfect for me considering I
had Kane meeting me as soon as I left
here.
We exited the doors to the library, and I
found Kane climbing the short steps to the

entrance. My heart did a small flutter

when I saw him, and the memory of last
nights kiss came flooding back. He had
been looking down at his feet as he came
up the steps, but as if he felt my gaze on
him he, looked uplocking eyes with me.
At first I was worried that things might
have been a little awkward for a tiny
moment, due to how we left things last
night. But when he looked at me, he gave
me one of his full smiles, the ones that
always caused his dimples to sink deep
into his cheeks. His smile wavered a bit
though when he looked over my shoulder
and saw Nate. I was really going to have
to ask them both about this one day. Nate
seemed to be fine with Kane. It was Kane
who seemed to be holding some sort of
grudge against, Nate.

Whats up Kane? Nate smiled at him,

and again Kane didnt return the smile.
You ready or do you need to go back
to the dorms for anything? Kane asked
me, fully ignoring Nate all together.
Um, no Im good. I stuttered. This
whole
situation
was
becoming
uncomfortable.
Ah, so youre the plans Kelsey has for
the night that made her blow off my party.
Kanes head jerked so fast to glare at
Nate, but he didnt say anything back to
him. He simply took my hand and began to
lead me down the steps.
I threw a quick goodbye over my
shoulder to Nate. I hated how rude Kane
was being, but when he wrapped his hand
around mine and the butterflies in my
stomach started to flutter, it made it pretty

easy to overlook the rudeness and just go

with it.
Where are we going? I asked as we
walked around the corner to the side of the
librarystraight to a black motorcycle
with neon green flames.
Its a surprise, he said as he swung
his leg over the bike and looked at me,
obviously waiting for me to hop on.
What? he asked with a puzzled look
on his face.
Ive never been on one before. I
nodded toward the motorcycle.
Its just a bike, Kelsey.
Yeah, just a bike, and a bike has no air
bags or seat belts, I added.
I would never let anything happen to
you. I promise. He held up two fingers
like a boy scout.

I seriously doubt you were ever a boy

scout, I huffed as I placed one hand on
his shoulder and threw my leg over the
bike. Man what a smart move it had been
to wear jeans tonight.
When I was finally on the seat and had
my feet on the pegs, I grabbed the sides of
his shirt but he took my hands and pulled
them around to rest on his chest.
Thats not tight enough, he laughed as
he kicked the kickstand up and took off.
The evening air while riding the
motorcycle was a lot cooler than I had
thought it would have been. I shivered and
buried my face into Kanes back to warm
my nose and cheeks up. He must have felt
me shiver, because he took one hand from
the handlebars and placed it on my arms
that were clinging to his chest.

While the warmth felt pretty amazing,

my eyes grew wide when I finally realized
if he was holding one of my handsthen
that meant he was driving the motorcycle
with only one hand!
KANE! I screeched. Youre going to
kill us! Put your hand back up there!
I could feel the rumble in his chest from
him laughing at me.
Im serious! I tried to pull my hand
out from under his.
Kels, believe me. Ive got this. He
turned his head to look at me behind him.
That didnt help the unease I felt. If he
insisted on driving us with one hand, then
by God he would at least keep both eyes
on the road.
Kane, seriously Im kind of freaking
out a little back here. It is my first time

being on a motorcycle and all, so if at all

possible, could you please at least keep
BOTH eyes facing forward?
Again I felt the reverberation in his
chest.
Stop laughing! Im glad you find my
moments of sheer terror humorous.
Chill. We will be there in a minute
anyway.
And where exactly is there?
Its a surprise, I told you.
I dont really do surprises though, I
retorted.
I had a feeling you were the type who
didnt, he responded. But Im also the
type of person who loves to give
surprises, so you will learn to love them
or deal. Either one.
Great.

We cruised through a neighborhood

which I would have assumed to be one of
the richest in town due to the sizes of the
huge houses that lined the streets. Kanes
motorcycle roared down the quiet street
before coming to a stop in the parking lot
of a small park. He pulled the bike into a
spot and turned the key. The rumbling
beneath me automatically stopped and I
sat there for minute trying to let the
vibrations in my backside subside before I
made any attempt to stand. It was then I
noticed I was still clinging to Kanes
chest.
Clearing my throat, I unclenched my
fists from his shirt and tried to smooth the
wild mess that I knew my hair had to have
been. I really should have pulled it back
before agreeing to this ride. I had no clue

what I looked like at the moment, but what

was coming to mind with the small light
we were getting from the lamp posts in the
park, was that my wild tangles sticking out
like snakes were coming off a bit Medusaesque.
When I finally tamed what I could of my
hair, I slid from the bike and waited for
Kane to do that same. But he didnt
immediately follow suit. He sat there for a
minute just staring off into the tree line.
Ive never brought anyone here
before, he almost whispered, and I stood
there in silence not really knowing what to
say. He finally turned his head to look at
me. I used to come here with my dad
from the time I was six. We would always
tell my mom we were going to do man
stuff. Then we would usually end up here

talking about things like fishing and cars.

It always made me feel more grown up,
more like a man to be out here just talking
with my dad. He softly laughed before
continuing, As time went on, our talks got
to be more serious. We would talk about
my future plans and how when I was
finally interested in girls, I should respect
them and treat them right.
He dropped his gaze to his feet and
pushed a small rock around with the toe of
his boot. I let him down on that last part.
I didnt follow through with how I was
supposed to treat women for so long; but I
was so caught up in my own self-pity I
didnt care about anyone else but myself.
Those girls, he paused and looked at me.
Im sure you have heard the stories about
me.

He wasnt really asking a question, but

I nodded anyway. I hated to let him know
that I had been clued into the gossip that
was Kane Riley; but if he was willing to
come clean about his past, then I would be
truthful to him. One hundred percent
truthful.
Thats what I figured. I deserve it
really. But I promise you, Kelsey, Im not
that way anymore. A few years back when
I still belonged to the frat, I hit my lowest
point. I was constantly drinking, and if I
wasnt drinking, I was trying my hand at a
few drugs. I was sleeping with all these
random girls, not even bothering to find
out the names before or after the fact. I
loathed myself and knew that if I couldnt
even love me, then there was no way I
could love anyone else. So I shut myself

off from everyone.

When I was fourteen. My parents had
decided to go away for a weekend for
their anniversary. I had a football game
that weekend and I had it in my head that
my dad had to be there like all the other
dads. So I gave them this huge guilt trip
about going away until they decided to
leave their trip early and come home. I
had stayed that weekend with my
grandparents and half way through the
gamewhen I was completely pissed
because they still hadnt made itI saw a
police officer walk over to my Paw. Then
I watched as my grandmothers knees
buckled and my paw caught her before she
hit the ground. I just stopped playing and
stood there and watched what was
happening. In that moment I knew my

parents were gone and I knew it was all

my fault.
I wanted to reach out and touch him.
The pain in his voice as he completely
came clean about everything hurt me to my
core. I knew what it felt like to know the
loss of a parent and to believe that it was
partially your fault they were not here
anymore. I also knew that no matter what
anyone said, that guilt would stay with
you. So I didnt even try to console him
with words. I gathered myself and walked
over to him and gently cupped his face in
my hands. I placed the lightest kiss on his
mouth and when I pulled back, I looked
deeply into his eyes.
Thank you. For being honest with me.
I then took a deep shaky breath. And
because of your honesty, I guess now its

my turn.

It had been so long since I had talked

about that night. I tried so hard to keep
those memories buried deep within me.
They usually only slipped out in my sleep.
But I knew I needed to do this. I needed to
let Kane know about what had happened
to me, and what I had done. He had laid it
all on the line for me, and I would do the
same.
Before you start, there is something I
want to show you. He finally stood from
his bike and took my hand.
He started leading us into the tree line,
but this time I didnt pull away when the

darkness engulfed us. I trusted that if Kane

had me, everything would be okay. When
we made it through the thickest portion of
the trees, a small path became visible in
the moonlight. Still holding my hand, he
slowly pulled me down the path. The
wildlife called all around us.
Its going to get a little tricky up here.
The path is blocked off by a boulder and
we have to scoot around it but I will have
hold of you at all times so you wont need
to worry.
I nervously gulped and nodded. It
sounded sketchy, but even in the dark;
Kane walked this path with a purpose. His
footsteps fell strongly, as if he was
confident in every step, so I trusted he
would be able to navigate us even in the
dark.

After walking a short distance, the path

became blocked off by a huge rock like he
had said it would. I didnt see how we
would get around it. This rock was huge.
It was about as wide as an SUV and taller
then Kane.
Kane veered to the right and began
scooting his way along the edge of the
rock. I stood there for a minute, nervous
that even if Kane had hold of me, I would
still fall to my death and bring him down
with me.
All right, Kelsey, your turn. Just give
me your hand and keep as close to the
rock as you can, and you will be fine.
Um, okay, I said as I timidly took a
step closer and placed my hand in his
waiting hand.
Thats it. Now just scoot your body

along the boulder and keep holding my

hand. Youre doing just fine.
I plastered my body against the rock. I
could have had five feet behind me for all
I knew, but I couldnt tell in this darkness.
Not taking any chancesshirt be damned
I began sliding my body along that rock.
Thats it. Almost there, Kane
encouraged me. I had reached the curled
edge of the boulder with my fingertips,
when I was yanked the last few steps
around the rock.
Kane pulled me into his arms. His
warm embrace had my heart fluttering and
I did the only thing I could think to do at
that moment. I looked up into his eyes and
said ... Hi.
He looked down at me and chuckled.
Hey.

If I could face palm right now without

coming off as a complete spaz, I would.
Before I could die of any more
embarrassment, Kane turned, unwrapped
his arms from around me, and took my
hand before leading me on down the path.
It didnt take long before we got to the
area Kane had wanted to show me. The
view was breathtaking. It overlooked the
college and the town. The twinkle of the
lights from the cars traveling below and
the street lights made the town look almost
serene. Like something out of a movie.
Wow, Kane, this is beautiful, I said
as I slowly made my way to the edge of
the rock to take a quick peak down.
Yep, just as I thought. High, we were
very high. My stomach flipped from the
sight, and I slowly backed away from the

edge, yelping when my body connected

with something.
Is this how we are going to spend the
rest of our lives? You always bumping
into me? We both smiled and Kane
nodded toward a smaller rock off to the
side. You wanna sit for a little while?
Take in the view?
Sure.
We both had a seat, and Kane threaded
his fingers through mine. I smiled down at
our hands. It was like they were made for
each other. They fit together like a piece
of a puzzle.
I havent been here in months, Kane
said as he looked out over the view. I
dont know why, and up until this morning
I hadnt really given this place much
thought. But then you were the first thing

that came to my mind when I woke up this

morning and it felt right to bring you
here.
Thank you for sharing your special
place with me and for your honesty back
there. I took a deep breath before I
continued. But since you were so open
with me its only fair that I do the same.
Kelsey, I told you that because I
wanted you to know me. The real me. Not
the things that you would hear about me
around school. You dont have to tell me
anything youre not ready to. Thats not
what this is about.
I held up my hand to stop him. I want
to tell you, Kane, because honestly there
may be times that I might try pulling away
from you; and what I am about to tell you
might explain why. All I have wanted for

the past six years is to get away from my

past and start over where no one knew
anything about me. But I cant keep this
going with you like we are, and not be
honest with you. It wouldnt be fair for
either of us. All my life I grew up
watching my father beat my mother. She
always tried to keep it hidden from me
when I was younger. She would play it off
like mommy and daddy were just playing,
but as I got older I began to understand
what was happening. None of my friends
moms had bruises on them from playing
with their daddies, and as I got older the
beatings began to get worse. At first he
would only hit or grab her in the places
she could hide the marks, but over time he
began to get angrier more often and started
hitting her anywhere he could land a hand.

She was so brave, though. I dont want

you to think she was weak because she
never turned him in. My mother was the
bravest person I know. She put up with
him because of me. She never said it, but I
know its true. She didnt want to risk
having to share custody with him. So as
long as she was taking the beating she
stayed.
My voice began to crack but I kept
going. One night when I was twelve I
wanted to go out with Jessi and her family
for her brothers birthday dinner. They
had already invited me and my mom said I
could go, but when my dad got home he
was in a pissed-off mood and began
cursing at my mom about how our spotless
house was never clean enough and how
she was lazy. I couldnt take it anymore,

and I finally snapped and started arguing

with him. I began telling him how be
better leave my mom alone or I would call
the cops and tell them all the things he had
been doing to her all these years. My mom
was telling me to be quiet and to just go to
Jessis; but once I got started I couldnt
stop.
All my hatred for him was spilling out
of me, and I just kept telling him exactly
what I thought of him and how he would
end up in jail and we would finally be rid
of him. He came at me with his hand
drawn back to hit me, and when I cowered
away from him, my mom stepped up
between us and slapped him straight
across the face. It was the loudest crack I
had ever heard, and right away my mom
knew things were going to get bad. She

turned to me and told me to run. To get out

of the house and get help and not look
back. I didnt want to leave her, but I
didnt know what else to do. So I ran.
When I got to the door, I looked back and
saw my dad grab my mom by her hair and
yank her head back. The tears were
spilling from my eyes and I didnt try to
stop them. There was no point. He
grabbed her by her neck and began to
squeeze. He was shouting but I couldnt
hear any of it. All I could hear was my
pounding heart and my mother gasping as
she tried to pull air into her lungs. I just
stood there and watched as he squeezed
her neck so tight and so hard that her face
started to turn blue. I just stood there and
watched as her body went limp in his
arms and her eyes became unfocused. I

just stood there and watched as my mother

was murdered.
My breathing was uncontrollable now
as I tried to finish the rest of the story.
My father dropped to his knees with my
moms body and began shaking her. Her
limp arms flopped and her head fell to the
side. When her empty eyes stared back at
me, I knew in that second that my mom
was gone. I couldnt stop the scream that
erupted from my body and that drew my
dads attention away from my mom, to me.
He laid my moms lifeless body on the
floor, got up and began to stalk toward
me. I scrambled to get the door open
before he made it to me. I had just jerked
it open when I felt him grab for my shirt
but I rushed out the door screaming for
help until my throat was raw. Some of our

neighbors had been outside and raced

over to me. I told them what had just
happened and collapsed in the middle of
the street. When I looked back toward my
house, my father was standing in the
doorway.
There was so much talking going on
around me. People were asking me if I
was okay, if my mom was okay, and
calling 911 but I couldnt answer any
of them. My fathers stare was all I could
concentrate on. I didnt look away until
one of my neighbors picked me up and
began carrying me toward his house.
When I looked over his shoulder toward
my house, my father was gone. I looked
at Kane. So now you know my shame. I
stood there and watched my father murder
my mother. It was my fault he was so

angry, and she sacrificed herself to save

me and I just watched as he choked the
life out of her.
Kanes hand was squeezing mine, not
too tightly as to hurt, but more like tight
enough to let me know he was there.
Kelsey I know you have probably
heard this a million times but there was
nothing you could do.
I huffed and rolled my eyes. He was
right. I had heard that a million times, and
each time I heard it made me sick. It was
my fault he was so angry and I could have
done something, anything but I didnt. I
was a coward and I would have to live
with that for the rest of my life. As I
should.
KelseyKane grabbed me by my
shoulders, making me look at himyou

were twelve. There was no way you could

have stood up to a man like that. You were
lucky to make it out of there alive. Im
sorry about what happened to your mom
but there was nothing. You. Could. Do.
I buried my face in my hands and
sobbed. I hated talking about that night. I
hated bringing those memories back. It had
been years since I had even spoken about
that night. It never got any easier to talk
about it.
Kane didnt try to talk to me about it
anymore. Instead he just sat there and held
me til my eyes couldnt manage any more
tears.

After I had expelled the last tear from

my eyes, I wiped the moisture from my
cheeks and looked at Kane. The small
circles he had been rubbing on my back
while I had my breakdown were
comforting. I couldnt believe that I had
just spilled my guts like that to him, but I
felt unbelievably better about the whole
situation. I couldnt deny the feelings that
were growing for him anymore, and I
would not be comfortable keeping that
part of my life hidden from him.
Thank you. His voice startled me and
I gave him a questioning look. For

trusting me enough to tell me that. I

couldnt imagine growing up with a
coward like your father. If you dont mind
me asking what happened to him?
I shrugged. He went to prison and I
have not seen or spoken to him since. He
could have died in there for all I know.
Which was true. The last time Id seen
my father was when the court officers
were escorting him out of the courtroom
the day he was sentenced for my moms
murder. I remember feeling his cold stare
on me. I had made it all through the trail,
not wasting one single look at him, but Id
made the mistake of looking up just before
he had fully exited the courtroom.
He was, of course, staring at me. His
face had no expression, but his eyes said it
all. He hated me, he probably always had.

Not once do I ever remember hearing my

father tell my mother or me that he loved
us. How could he after the way he had
treated my mother? But the way his eyes
looked in this moment, there was no
mistaking it. He hated me. Hated me for
what was happening to him.
There was no sorrow or guilt about
what he had done. Just the rage and the
anger because now he was no longer in
control and in that moment I silently
prayed he would never make it out of
prison alive. That the prisoners he would
now be living with would show him the
same treatment he had shown my mother
all those years.
My father ended up being convicted of
murder in the 3rd degree. The bastard was
a quick thinker and had actually taken the

time to run back to the kitchen, grab a

knife, slice his arm and plant it on my
mother, claiming she came at him with it
with intent to kill him and that he was only
defending himself. I, of course, told my
side of what had happened that night, and
the jury ultimately found him guilty in the
end.
After walking out of the courtroom that
day, I vowed I would never think of him
again and went straight to file papers to
legally change my last name to Rienmy
mothers maiden name. I had become so
used to it now that his last name was all
but a distant memory.
The only people who knew that my last
name was not Rien were Jessi, her family,
and the people from my hometown and
that was the way it would stay. This was

one truth I wouldnt even tell Kane. I

would no longer be tainted by that man. I
wanted no part of anything that had to do
with my father and I never would. So I
would never acknowledge having that
name ever again.
Kane sat there silence for another
second or two before standing. He held
both hands out for me and I laid my hands
in his to let him pull me up. He gently
rubbed my knuckles with his thumbs. Im
so glad I met you Kelsey and Im so glad I
brought you here. This place has always
been special to me and now that I have
you here with me, its perfect.
I smiled up and he slowly lowered his
head to mine, kissing me so softly and so
deeply that the rest of the world and the
memories melted away into the dark night.

Kane drove me back to the dorms

shortly after that. He waited on his
motorcycle until I had made in safely
inside. When I was safely inside my dorm
building I turned and gave him a small
wave through the window. He nodded his
head at me before he took off into the
night.
As I waited for the elevator I couldnt
stop touching my lips. They were still
slightly swollen from the heavy make out
session wed had on his bike before I
finally climbed off to come inside.
As I stepped onto the elevator, my
phone chimed with a text from Jessi letting
me know she was staying with Landon. So
that meant there would be no walking in
on any nakedness tonight. Thank God. I
was still drained from telling Kane about

my past. Crying always made me sleepy

and all I could think about now was taking
a shower, crashing, and waking up
tomorrow and pretending it never
happened.
After showering and drying my hair
because my mom always said dont go to
sleep with wet hair or you will get sickI
climbed in my bed. I had no more pulled
the covers up over my body when my
phone vibrated from the night stand.
Kane: Cant stop thinking about
tonight...
Kane. My cheeks immediately pulled
up into a smile.
Me neither. <3
I nervously bit my lip, waiting for him
to reply. Maybe I shouldnt have put the
heart?

Kane: I can still taste you on my lips,

and its making it hard for me to keep
myself from throwing on my boots and
coming to you. What have you done to
me Kelsey?
I sighed. Probably the same thing he had
done to me. I always hated watching
movies where the couple falls so hard and
so fast. I had always thought that was too
good to be true. Things like that didnt
happen in real life. But here I was so
wrapped up in a guy that I had known for a
little over a week.
Kane: Get some sleep, beautiful. I
just wanted you to know I will be falling
asleep tonight thinking about you.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.

I reached over to lay my phone on the

nightstand beside my bed. The charms on
my bracelet jingled as they dangled from
my wrist. I wished so bad that my mom
could meet Kane. She would have been
able to see through all the bullshit from the
start. She was always good at reading
people. I dont know where she went
wrong when it came to my dad.
My mom had met my dad when she
turned seventeen. She had instantly fallen
in love with him and she told me about all
the sweet little things he used to do for her
when they first began their romance.
Right after my moms eighteenth
birthday she found out she was pregnant.
She was still a senior in high school and
had to drop out because I would due in the
middle of the school year. She and my dad

married shortly after, and thats when

things began to change with him. I dont
think we will ever know what changed
inside him causing him to become such an
evil person. Women are abused by their
husbands every day for no reason. I
honestly believe some people are just
born evil and grow to be good at hiding it.
My dad was a master manipulator and
my mom didnt stand a chance. He sucked
her in then trapped her by getting her
pregnant with me. She probably would
have been better off had I never been
born. Maybe I was the trigger for my
dads rage. That was something we would
never know. That man was dead to me
now. As far as I was concerned I hate no
father.
I didnt want to think about him

anymore, so I thought back to happier

times with my mom. Like when she had
taken me to pick out a new charm for my
bracelet. It was my tenth birthday and she
had made such a big deal about me finally
being in the double digit numbers.
She had taken me to the jewelry store
and told me I could pick out whatever
charm I wanted. I browsed all the glass
cases hoping the one I was meant to have
would become evident the moment I saw
it. I was beginning to think I would never
find that special one, when in the very last
case, sat a charm of two interlinked
hearts.
I knew right away that that was the
charm I was meant to have. It had always
been me and my mom against the world.
She was my best friend. My rock. The two

linked hearts were me and her. Always

together. Or so I thought.
I drifted off to sleep studying the tiny
charms, but sleep didnt last long before I
jolted awake. My body and clothes were
drenched in sweat and when I wiped my
face, I found moisture there. I must have
been crying in my sleep.
I thought back to the dream I was
having. I was back in my old house. It was
that night again. Only this time my father
stood back leaning against the wall with
his arms crossed and I was there with my
hands wrapped around my mothers neck,
her eyes turning cold and empty all over
again. I pried my eyes from the scene and
looked to my father, who with a sinister
smile on his face, was looking straight at
me. Not the me that was in the dream

the me that was watching it all.

See, sweet pea. Youre just as guilty
as I am, hed laughed.
I tried screaming no, that this was all
his fault. That he did this, not me. But no
words would come out, only air. Maybe I
couldnt say anything because there was
some truth behind his words. I was just as
guilty as he was. He may have been the
one to do the deed, but I set the whole
plan in motion.
If only I had kept my mouth shut that
night. If only I had listened to my mom
when she told me to leave, and had not
kept standing there fighting with him like I
had. She wouldnt have needed to protect
me from him and he wouldnt havent have
lost it like he did, and maybe I would still
have my mom here.

I jumped from my bed and ran to the

bathroom to expel what little contents I
had in my stomach. The nightmares had
not been this bad in a while. I would go
months in between each one but now I was
having them more frequently again. The
only thing I could think that would have
triggered this one was the fact that I had
told Kane about that night just a few hours
ago.
When the heaving finally subsided, I
hunched over the sink and rinsed my
mouth, making sure not to look in the
mirror as I did, in fear of the eyes that
would stare back at me. I made my way
back to my bed, but couldnt find sleep
again. I was scared to close my eyes and
risk being brought back to that night. So I
grabbed my phone and headphones from

the nightstand, and listened to music to

pass the time until the sun finally came up.

When the sun finally filled my tiny dorm

room, I pulled my headphones from my
ears and laid my phone back on the table
to get ready for the day. I decided to take
another shower even though I had taken
one the night before. I wanted to wash
away the icky feeling that the sweat
caused from my nightmare and I figured
another quick shower couldnt hurt.
While shampooing my hair there was a
light tap at the bathroom door before I
heard it open and then close.
Um, hello? I called and my fingers
stopped massaging the shampoo into my

scalp.
Its me, stupid. Who else would it
be? Jessis voiced carried over the
rushing water of the shower.
Well you never know these days!
I finished washing, then rinsing my hair
and turned the water off. I blindly felt
along the outside wall for my towel before
it was placed in my hand by Jessi. After I
had wrapped it around my body I pulled
back the shower curtain to find Jessi
perched on the sink, her legs crossed at
her ankles with a smile on her face.
Spill it, girl. I didnt bug you for
details last night because I was a bit
occupied myself but youre giving me all
the juicy details now. Where did you go?
how far did you go? She waggled her
eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes at

her.
You know me better than that, Jess. I
didnt go far at all. I paused and bit my
lip. But I will say this he is an
AMAZING kisser.
Jessi jumped from the sink with a
squeal. I KNEW IT! Gah, how is it
kissing someone with a lip piercing? Ive
always wondered. I bet its super-hot.
She fanned herself and I smiled.
Oh yeah, its most definitely hot. I
was getting a little tickle in my belly from
the memories of the kisses Kane and I had
shared.
So, do you like him?
I paused for a second before shyly
nodding. I do, Jess. I dont know what it
is about him but he kinda just gets me.
Landon said that hes never seen Kane

behave the way he does when hes around

you. That he has never actually seen Kane
show more than a full days worth of
attention to any girl in general and that
Kane isnt really the relationship type.
And I cant lie, Kels, that scares me a
little for you since youre my best friend
and you have never shown this much
attention to any guy before. Im scared that
you are going to fall hard and fast and that
Kane wont be there to catch you when
you do. Do you think that maybe he might
just be a little too good to be true?
I looked at my friend. I dont know
what I had done to deserve her friendship
but she was always there for me. She was
there before my whole world came
crashing down, she was there after, and
she would be there til they laid us both in

the ground, side by side with matching

tombstones that read best on one, and
friends on the otheryeah it was morbid
that we had this all planned out, but that
was just us.
I know all about what he used to be
like, Jess, but hes changed. I know it
sounds crazy for me to say he has changed
when I didnt even know him before, but
he came clean about the stuff he has done
and the people he has hurt in the process
and I honestly believe him. It couldnt
have been easy for him to admit to me that
he used girls for sex at one point.I
pausedI really do believe him, Jess.
Which is why last night I came clean about
my past too.
Jessis eyes widened. You told him
about your mom?

I nodded.
Kelsey, thats such a big deal. I cant
believe you told him about that so soon.
You never talk about your mom and what
happened.
I know, believe me I never expected to
do so, but he opened up to me. Telling me
about his past. Not only the part about the
women but also some stuff about his
parents too and it just didnt feel right not
be as open and honest with him as he was
with me. I told you, Jessi, I dont know
what it is about him, but I feel so close to
him.
Kelsey, Im so glad you have found
someone you can connect with. Believe
me I truly ambut please, please be
careful. I dont want to see you hurt. I
mean Kanes a big guy and all but if he

were to ever hurt my girl do not doubt the

fact that I would be all over him like
spider monkey.
I laughed and hugged her. That was my
Jessi. She may have been the size of a
Chihuahua but she had the attitude of a Pit
Bull.
After we got ready, we headed out to
grab a quick bite to eat before classes. We
were laughing about some crazy story that
Jessi had just told me when I looked up
and found Kane at the bottom of the stairs
to our dorm. He was leaning against his
motorcycle with a coffee tray in one hand
and a small bag in the other.
He comes baring gifts. I like him
already, Jessi said as she playfully
bumped my hip with hers.
Kane smiled as we approached and

held the tray out for Jessi to take.

I figured you ladies could use some
coffee and a couple of muffins this
morning, he said, but he never took his
eyes off me. My cheeks were becoming
sore from the obscene amount of smiling I
had been doing these past few days.
Taking me by surprise, Kane leaned in
a placed a slow kiss on my cheek. My
eyes shifted to Jessi who mouthed the
words so cute back to me.
Well, since Im feeling a little third
wheel-ish here, Im going to go and see if
I can meet up with Landon before class.
Ill see you guys later. Love you, Kels,
Jessi said as she handed me coffee from
the tray. She blew me a kiss, then
retreated in the other direction.
Thank you for the coffee. We were just

headed out for some before class

actually.
Well why dont I walk you to your
class while you drink your coffee?
I nodded and we began the short walk
to my first class. Half way there I felt
Kanes hand slide down my arm before he
interlaced his fingers with mine. The
butterflies erupted in my stomach like a
volcano and I suppressed the huge grin on
my face with a quick sip of my warm
coffee.
The walk to class had seemed a lot
shorter than normal, but a lot of that may
have had to do with the fact that I wasnt
ready to let go of Kanes hand yet.
Approaching the door to my class, Kane
gave my hand a small tug, pulling me back
to him where he immediately covered my

mouth with his. I could taste the coffee on

his tongue. Best way to have morning
coffeeever!
When the kiss was over, Kane rested
his forehead against mine and sighed.
I had to do that. I couldnt wait any
longer. After the dream I had last night all
I could think about doing was getting to
you this morning and kissing you.
Well that must have been some
dream, I joked.
You have no idea. He finally pulled
back to look at me.
As I stared into those beautiful gray
eyes of his, I couldnt help but wonder
how did I get here? How could someone
as attractive and as personable as Kane
want anything to do with sheltered and
broken me? I didnt want to dwell on

those thoughts too much because I wanted

him. I wanted him to want mebut for
this to actually be happening was all a
little surreal.
One final kiss from Kane and I made my
way into class. He waited at the door until
I was seated at my desk before sending a
sly smile my way. He then slowly backed
away from the door, disappearing from my
sight. I shook my head trying to clear the
thoughts of soft lips and lip rings from my
mind, but it was no use. This was going to
be a long class.

After class I packed my things up and

walked out the door. I was grabbed from
behind and let out a yelp, but when the

familiar coolness of metal touched my

neck, I knew exactly who had me.
How is it that you always manage to
walk me to class and still be waiting for
me when class is over? I asked as I
turned in his arms to face him.
He shrugged. What can I say, my
professors love me.
I rolled my eyes at him. Cocky much?
Slinging his arm around my shoulder he
shrugged. Nah. Just confident.
We made our way to class after class.
Kane always walking me to them, and
waiting for me after. We were always
touching each other in some way on the
walks. Whether it be holding hands, or his
arm around my shoulders and mine around
his waist. I caught a few dirty looks from
some girls and noticed some of the guys

checking us out. I know what they were all

thinking. What was Kane doing with her?
Lunch was pretty much uneventful.
Kane had me go ahead and take a seat at
the table while he went and filled a try for
us. Surprisingly, he actually picked out
food that I would eat.
How did you know what I would
want? I raised my brow at him.
Shrugging, he said, I got what sounded
good, and honestly you dont really eat
like a girl, remember? You kinda eat like
a dude, so I got what I would eat.
I laughed at the memory of that first
lunch day. I guess he was right, I did kind
of eat like a guy.
After lunch, Jessi and Landon actually
fell into step with Kane and me on the way
to class. Jess kept sending me secret looks

that screamed Oh mah God! So cute.

Which earned her a death glare from me.
Kane and Landon talked about some big
game that was happening this weekend,
but sports were the one thing you would
find me completely girly about. I didnt
understand them and I didnt try to. Every
time I tried to watch football I ended up
losing the ball in all the commotion and
just cheered when my section would
cheer.
When we made it to the door to my
class, Kane stopped and glanced inside
before scooping me up in his arms, deeply
kissing me. By the time he was done, I
was a little kiss drunk and couldnt even
find the words to tell him goodbye. I just
stood there feeling like my head was
surrounded by tiny stars and swirls, like

those old cartoons when the characters

would get bumped on the head. When I
finally gathered my composure I entered
the class and went right to my seat.
Well, well, well. You two seem to be
pretty cozy. Jessis voice called to me
and I turned in my seat too look at her. She
had her chin perched on her fist and was
batting her lashes at me.
Hush, I mumbled.
What? Im just stating the obvious. I
have never even seen you kiss anyone
since, what, freshman year when you
kissed Walker Philips at Katy Allens
pool party?
I gasped and leaned closer to her. You
said you would never bring that up again!
You know he pretty much assaulted me.
Practically licking my entire face in the

process!
I cringed from the memory. Jessi had
begged me go to that party. Before
everything had happened with my mom,
Jessi, Katy, and I used to have sleepovers
every other weekend. A few nights before
the party when her and her parents thought
I was sleeping, I overheard them talking
down the hall from my room.
They were talking about how they were
worried about me. How since my
mothers death I was secluding myself and
I was holding in all my grief because I
wouldnt talk about that night with anyone.
Not them, not Jessi, and not the stupid
therapist everyone said I should see.
I didnt want to relive that night, and
every time I talked about it I did. Every
time I closed my eyes I saw my mothers

cold blank stare and her purple lips

gasping for air. No, living through it once
was enough. I would talk about that night
as little as humanly possible for the rest of
my life. But the next day when Jessi asked
me to go with her to the party, I had
agreed so maybe they would stop
worrying.
I was sitting there, contemplating
leaving early when Walker came over to
talk to me. I was a little surprised hed
done so because this was around the time
that people began to pull away from me. I
was sitting on one of the lounge chairs in
the back of the pool area picking at the
pink polish on my nails when I felt a body
plop down beside me. I thought it was
Jessi at first but was met with the slight
smell of alcohol and Walkers lopsided

grin.
Hows it going, Kelsey? Havent seen
you around much lately.
Im at school every day, Walker. Just
like you.
I was trying to play nice and converse
with him, but in all actuality I was
annoyed. It had been months since he had
even attempted to speak to me and now
that he had a few beers in his system, he
decided it was a good time to approach
me?
Yeah, but youre not the same you that
you were before.
I glared at him. He had no idea how I
was not the same me that I was before.
He placed his clammy hand on the bare
skin of my thigh just below my shorts. I
tried shaking off his hand but his sticky

palm wouldnt budge.

Remember how it used be, Kel?
Remember when you were dying to oh
shit. Maybe I shouldnt have used that
word.
I had heard enough. I loved Jessi and
her parents, but I couldnt put up with this
or these people for another second. I
quickly got up, but when I tried to step
around Walkers legs he grabbed my wrist
and tugged me down onto his lap.
Oh come on, Kel, you know I didnt
mean it that way. All Im trying to say is
before all that went down, I was going to
ask you to be my girlfriend.
Walker, believe me when I say this.
You may have been planning on asking me
to be your girlfriend, but you are quick to
forget that doesnt mean I would have

said yes.
I made a move to stand again but he
held firm to my waist and covered the
bottom half of my face with his open
mouth. It only took him about a minute to
realize he was making out with my chin
and by that time the damage was done.
Someone saw us and yelled, Kelsey and
Walker is getting it on!
I never thought I would live that day
down. Thankfully, shortly after that is
when everyone decided to avoid me like
the plague and it was never spoken of
again. Well, other than when Jessi would
have a horrific make out experience and
would always refer it to a Walker
Wash.
I know, I know. I couldnt resist! she
laughed and held up both of her hands.

I huffed and turned around in my seat,

vowing I would give her a silent treatment
for the rest of class. We were still waiting
on Professor Hanson to come out of her
office when Nate knelt down on the other
side of my desk.
Hey, he said with a nod. When is the
next study session? Ive got a busy week
and I just wanted to make sure that it
wouldnt fall on a day that I have
something planned.
Oh, um, I think Jessi is pretty busy this
week too. Im free whenever though. So
why dont you just text me and we will
work something out?
Sounds good. I will text you sometime
this evening with the days and times I am
free. He paused for a minute and looked
down at the floor. So you and Kane,

huh?
I started at him for a minute, what kind
of question was that? Um, Im not sure
what you mean? I was truly puzzled as to
why he would even bring it up. Sure he
had tried to warn me about Kanes past
indiscretions, but I was a big girl and
could handle myself.
Nothing. I just thoughtya know
what? Never mind. Ill talk to you later,
Kelsey. Then he got up and made his way
back to his seat.
When I looked at Jessi, she was starting
at me. I shrugged letting her know I had no
clue what any of that was about and tried
not to think about it the rest of class.

Nate texted me later that afternoon

letting me know that he wouldnt be able
to study at all through the week. Something
had come up, and the only day he would
have free would be Sunday morning. That
was one of the days that Jessi wouldnt be
available, but considering we still had a
lot left to doand lets face it, Jessi
wasnt a huge contributor to the project
anywayI agreed to just meet on Sunday
and work with Nate. I would just catch
Jessi up on everything before we were to
meet again.
Kane had stuff to do that afternoon so I

spent my time catching up on some

reading. I had always loved reading. It
was a passion I had gotten from my mom.
As far back as I could remember she had
been reading to me.
I was reading full-length novels but the
time I was in middle schoolnot those
momma type novels, but ones based for
my agebut my mom would always read
whatever book I was reading, no matter
how juvenile they were to what she was
used to reading, just so we could talk and
gush over our favorite parts and the
people we hated most in the books. After
she died, I didnt think I would ever be
able to pick up a book again.
The first book I finished after her death,
I had laid in bed and cried for hours
because I didnt have her to talk to about

it. I wanted to know what she would have

thought when the heroine of the book
found herself in a situation she never
thought she would have. And I wanted to
know when the lead couple shared their
first kiss, if it gave her butterflies like it
did me.
Reading was something I had to slowly
work my way back to. I knew I needed to
continue reading, no matter if it did hurt
every time I finished a book. It was
something we had shared a passion in and
it was one thing that could keep me close
to her in a way.
So I spent the afternoon lost in a
fictional world where no matter how bad
things got, they always worked out in the
end. Nothing like real life, but it was
always nice to get away for a while.

I hadnt noticed I had fallen asleep until

I opened my eyes and found the dorm
room in complete darkness. I blindly felt
for my phone and slid my finger across the
screen to unlock it. I had a few text
messages and a missed call from an
unknown number with a voicemail.
I decided to read the texts first. The
first one being from Jessi letting me know
she wouldnt be back until sometime later
tonight. The next was from Kane telling
me how work sucked and all he could
think about was me. He had to go to work
at the bar and get everything stocked up
and ready for the big game this weekend.
Because he was working through the week
helping them prepare for the large
numbers they would have this weekend, he
was able to have Saturday off.

I tapped out a quick reply to both of

them, and then listened to the voicemail. It
was weird because I never got unknown
number calls. Maybe it was a telemarketer
and the voicemail would be asking me if I
wanted to subscribe to their home security
system.
After putting in my passcode I listened
to the robotic female voice tell me I had
one new message. I pressed one to hear
the new message but there was nothing
there. Only the slight muffled sound of
breathing that lasted a good minute or so
before I heard a raspy chuckle and a click.
I didnt recognize the voice but it had sent
chills down my spine and I immediately
erased the message and went for a
shower.
After my shower I was sitting at my

desk in my pink robe, contemplating

ordering a pizza when there was a knock
at the door. I slowly made my way across
the room, still leery after that creepy
voicemail. I slowly pulled back my door
just enough to peak at who was on the
other side. Sighing with relief, I drew the
door the rest of the way open and took in
Kane standing there in a black wife beater
which left his tats on full display. He
was wearing a pair of lighter jeans that
hung low on his hips and he had his black
ball cap covering a black bandanna and
his trusted aviators perched on top of
them. In his hands were two take out
boxes.
I smiled and leaned against my door.
Thought you would be working late?
He shrugged and returned my smile. I

worked my ass off to finish up early.

Thought you might be hungry.
Oh boy was I ever, and the smell
coming from those tiny bags in his hands
was enough to make me rub my chin and
check for drool. I stepped back a little and
motioned for him to come on in.
Kane came in and went and had a seat
on my bed. After I closed the door I
realized I had a boy in my room ... all
alone. And on top of that, I was standing
here with said boy, wearing nothing but a
fluffy pink robe. Automatically I clutched
my already tightly closed robe just a little
bit tighter.
Cleaning my throat I said, Um, Im just
going to throw some close on.
I rushed over to my dresser for some
yoga pants and realized that I was going to

have to get in my underwear drawer and

actually pull a pair out in front of Kane.
This could not get any more awkward if I
tried. But just as I thought that, the pair of
black panties I had been trying to
discretely pull from the drawer got caught
on something causing them to sling shot
into the air and come crashing down right
at Kanes feet.
I stood there for a minute, not wanting
to even glance over at Kane for fear that I
would just drop dead of embarrassment
right there at his feet, right beside my
undergarments. I heard the bed creak and
the heavy thumps of his foot falls. I closed
my eyes tight; I didnt need to see him to
know that he was standing behind me now.
I felt his head lower, his rough cheek
resting against the side of my head. I

believe these are yours.

I slowly turn my head keeping my eyes
tightly closed. When I finally found the
courage to open my eyes, I was met with
my black panties, dangling from one of
Kanes fingers. I slowly reached up and
took them from his finger I mean
whats the use in trying to hurry and snatch
them away? The damage had already been
done.
I clutched my panties to my chest and
finally made eye contact with Kane. I
could see humor in his eyes, but there was
also something else there. Something that
may have been lust? I wasnt one hundred
percent sure, but I know that just that look
from him had me feeling all kinds of lust
like to the umpteenth power.
Thanks, I squeaked and swiftly turned

back toward my dresser to dig out some

clothes, because the fact that I was only
wearing a thin piece of cloth over my
entire body and the way my body was
humming all over right now, was not a
good combination. I needed to be fully
clothed and about five more feet away
from Kane so I could clear my head.
Without so much as another word to
Kane, I grabbed the first articles of
clothing that my hands touched, not caring
if they even matched. I rushed off to my
bathroom, slamming the door in my haste.
When I was safely in the bathroom, I
leaned back against the door and was
finally able to catch my breath. That was
intense. I had never had anyone make my
body feel like that before and he hadnt
even really touched me, but it felt like he

had. It felt as if every surface of my skin

was on fire and dipped in ice at the same
time. And I dont even want to get into the
tingles that were happening, well
everywhere. I had never been so turned on
in my life and I dont even know what I
had really been turned on about. Didnt he
have to at least touch me to do that? God, I
sounded like a complete moron. Could it
be any more obvious that I knew
absolutely nothing about sex?
I walked over to the sink, gripping the
sides for support. I needed to get a hold of
myself before I embarrassed myself even
further. I splashed some cool water on my
face and applied just a touch of makeup; I
needed to try to cover the flush in my face
just a little.
After I was finally dressed in actual

clothes, I slowly turned the knob to the

door and crept back inside my dorm. Kane
was still there on my bed, but this time he
was starting down at his cell with a smile
on his face. That damn cell again.
I tried my best to not let it get to me, but
dammit, I was curious who he was always
talking to on that thing that made him smile
so much. Sensing my presence, he looked
up at me. I shyly sat down on the bed next
to him and he surprised me by holding his
phone out where I could look at the
screen. There was a text message pulled
up. My first thought was that he had texted
on of his friends to let them know what a
complete spaz I was, but the contact name
at the top read Maw.
She recently got a cell and now shes
trying to learn how to text. Its funny as

shit, he laughed.
I read through some of the messages
well actually Im not sure you could really
call them messages because most were
random letters or half words. Finally at
the bottom she did manage to get out one
full sentenceCan you hear me?
I busted out laughing, I felt bad for
laughing at his grandmother like that but he
was right, it was pretty funny.
I dont know why she doesnt just call
me. She says she wants to keep up with
the times and be able to text, but if its
going to always be like this I think Im
going to have to step in at some point and
put a stop to the madness.
I loved watching him talk about his
grandparents. You could tell he loved
them and respected them. It made me wish

I had known my grandparents better. I

never knew my dads parents. He never
really talked about them much but my mom
had told me that my grandfather had died
when my dad was young, and that my
grandmother had died shortly after they
were married.
I did get to meet my grandparents on
my moms side once, though. I dont
remember it because I was a baby but
there were pictures of them holding me.
They lived across the country and had also
died before I was even old enough to
remember. Thats why after my moms
death I was sent to live with Jessi since I
didnt have any other immediate family.
Shes pretty excited to meet you this
weekend. Kane bumped my shoulder,
reminding me that I was in fact going to

his grandparents house this weekend to

watch the game. I guess it was a big
tradition for everyone in their
neighborhood to show up for a big
cookout and watch the game there. At least
I would have Jessi with me. She was
going with Landon, who apparently never
misses it or the chance to eat Kanes
grandmas deserts.
Have they met a lot of your, um,
friends? I didnt really know what to call
us. Sure we were holding hands and
kissing and spending more time together
than ever, but he had not officially said
what we were, and I was so new to this I
honestly wasnt sure. I would have been
considering him my boyfriend but I knew
that guys didnt like to label things so
quickly, so it was probably best if I just

sat back and played it by ear until he was

ready to make that decision.
He took my hand is his. No, no they
havent. I really dont even take anyone
there, well, besides Landon, and he has
been my best friend since we were in
diapers. I kind of got stuck with him since
our parents had been best friends since
college, he laughed and I knew he was
joking about getting stuck with Landon.
They were as close, if not closer than
Jessi and I.
But no, to answer your question I dont
take people to meet my grandparents
unless they are special and you, you
are more special than anyone I have ever
met. I have never met a more awkwardly
cute, yet stunningly beautiful girl in all my
life. Youre smart and funny, and

ridiculously sexy and you dont even

know it. He lightly placed his hand on my
cheek and I immediately leaned into his
touch as though I had known it all my life.
You, Kelsey, are special. You are so
strong and so brave. There will never be
another person in this world that would
ever compare to you, and I cant believe
you actually choose to waste your time
with a loser like me. I wont argue about it
though, because now that I have you in my
life I cant imagine going through every
day without you. Im a selfish bastard,
Kelsey. There is probably someone out
there who would be better for you, give
you all the things you deserve but I just
cant let that happen. I want you. I want
you to be mine. The thought of you with
someone else is something I honestly cant

even stomach. I know we have only

known each other a short time and people
might think we are crazy or rushing this,
but this feels right. It feels as though I had
been unknowingly searching for something
and then that day in the caf when I saw
you, it all clicked. I didnt know you, hell
I didnt even know your name, but I knew
that I was drawn to you and wanted to
know all about this beautiful stranger with
the silky brown hair and warm eyes.
I covered his hand with mine and
looked deeply into his eyes. Honestly I
feel the same way. I have never had
someone I didnt know consume me the
way you have. My life has been so messed
up. I never wanted to let anyone else in.
Never thought I actually would, but from
the moment I met you there was this pull

that I couldnt deny. I thought it was just

me, and that I was just having some
serious crushing issues because, lets face
it, you could honestly have your choice of
anyone on this campus and you choose to
spend your time with me. Its so crazy to
me, but like you said, I dont want to
question it. I know I want you in my life.
Kane leaned in slowly, pausing for a
minute right before our lips touched.
Close enough that I could feel his hot
breath on my face. He lingered there for a
moment, almost making me think he had
changed his mind about kissing me, but
then he softy placed his lips against mine.
The kiss was so soft and sweet but still
held so much strength and passion. He
took his time, making sure I was fully
kissed on the outside before I felt the

warm sliver of his tongue caressing my

bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I
happily obliged. Kane brought his other
hand up and buried it in the hair at the
back of my neck. Between the feel of his
light tugging on my hair and the way he
was kissing me, before I knew it, my body
was moving, climbing onto Kanes lap.
When I had my legs straddling his hips I
took control of the kiss. I was exploring
his mouth the way he had done mine so
many times. I knew if felt good to me but I
wasnt really sure I was doing it right until
I heard him growl in between kisses and
he brought his hands down to firmly grip
my hips.
My shirt had ridden up a tad bit, just
enough that parts of his hands were
touching my bare skin, and the heat from

his hands on my skin sent me into a frenzy.

I was gripping at his arms so tight and I
could feel my breathing becoming uneven
and almost panting. I hadnt even noticed
that my hips had begun rocking on his lap.
I had never in my life taken it this far
with someone. Hell, I had hardly even
kissed boys, but I just got so caught up in
Kanes kisses that my body took over and
it was going to do what it wanted to to
make itself feel good. No matter how
crazy it made me look in the process.
Kanes grip on my hips grew tighter and
I noticed he was helping me move now. I
could feel a warmth grow hotter and hotter
in my stomach, and before I knew it there
was an explosion, or what felt like an
explosion anyway. It felt as though every
hair on my body was standing straight on

end and my toes were curled so hard I

was a little scared of the Charlie horse
that would follow. I then realized how my
chest was heaving right in Kanes face.
I was so embarrassed that I had even
climbed on his lap in the first place. Now
how was I even going to face him after
pretty much dry hump raping him when all
he was after was a kiss?
I scurried off his lap and made my way
across the room, putting some distance
between us. I hugged myself, mortified
about what had just happened.
Kelsey.
Im so sorry. I dont know what that
was about. I have never done anything like
that before. I chanced a glance at him and
saw that he was getting up from my bed.
Great. Way to go Kelsey. You have

really scared him away now.

But Kane didnt make his way toward
my door like I thought he might. Instead,
he took a few long strides and wrapped
his arms around me.
Kelsey, that right there was one of the
hottest things that has ever happened to
me. You completely took control there and
believe me, I was more than willing to let
you use me in any way you saw fit.
He turned me in his arms to face him
and I wanted to bury my face in my hands.
I was a complete freak right there. Im so
sorry. I damn near assaulted you.
He barked out a laugh and pulled me
closer to his chest. No. Kelsey, you
didnt. I am a guy after all. I would never
push you into anything youre not ready to
do, but believe me if you ever feel like

you are ready to maybe test the waters a

little, I am more than willing to help you
out with that. He winked to try to lighten
the mood.
I smiled up at him but still felt like a
compete spaz. I couldnt believe I had just
orgasmed like that in front of him. Kane
cleared his throat and kind of shifted from
foot to foot.
As much as I would love to stay and
spend some more time with you, I think
Im going to have to call it a night a little
early and, uh, take care of something. He
glanced down.
I followed where his eyes had gone and
my hand flew to my mouth when I noticed
the huge bulge in his pants. It was
obviously pushing against his jeans and
probably had to be quite painful. Poor

guy. I was even worse than I thought.

Um, maybe I could help you out with
that? I questioned, but my voice was
noticeably shaky.
He shook his head. No its all right.
Nothing I havent dealt with before, but I
will say this, it was the best way it has
ever been brought on. He gave me a sly
smile. Ill text you later, okay?
I nodded. Honestly I was a little
relieved that he hadnt taken me up on my
offer because I would have had no clue
what to even do with it had he said yes.
Kane gave me a quick kiss goodbye and
headed out the door. After he was gone I
noticed the still-untouched food lying on
my bed. If I hadnt been starving, I would
have probably felt bad about devouring
half of it within five minutes after hed left

with the problem he did. But it smelled so

good and like I said, I was starving, so I
ate my fill and put the rest in our mini
fridge with a note for Jessi, letting her
know there was more left over if she
wanted it. Then I climbed into my bed and
read some more while I waited for Kanes
text letting me know he had made it home
safely.

Over the next few days, Kane and I had

fallen into a pretty steady routine. We
spent as much time as we could together
when he wasnt working. We made out
a lot, but there were no mishaps like
beforenot that the urge didnt hit to jump
him when we kissed, I was just becoming
more in control of myself around him.
The day of the cookout, I stressed all
day over what to wear. I mean I was
meeting his grandparents after all, and
they were important to him so I wanted
them to really like me. This would be the

first time I had ever met the family of a

guy I was interested in, so I was freaking
out a little bit. Usually people had high
school to get used to that awkward first
time meeting the family thing, but since my
high school years were mostly spent
hiding out, I never had the chance. Now
here I was eighteen years old and scared
to death to meet someones grandma.
Kelsey, would you just pick something
already? Landon will be here in a
minute, Jessi huffed from where she sat
perched on her bed.
I need to find the perfect thing to wear,
Jess. I have to make a good impression on
them. Kane really looks up to his
grandparents, and if they dont like me,
well maybe it would be a deal breaker for
him, I said as I tossed yet another shirt

over my shoulder where it landed in the

pile with the others that I had already
deemed not worthy.
I guess Jessi had finally had enough of
my mini melt down because she hopped
off her bed, made her way to me, gripped
my shoulder and gave me one firm shake.
Snap out of it! They will love you!
Everyone loves you. You need to give
yourself more credit sometimes.
I sighed and looked down at my feet. I
just feel like I need to build myself up so
high, Jess, that way when the darkest side
of me becomes known, maybe it wont
matter so much to people because I will
have already established myself with them
and they will be able to absorb that awful
side and not hold it against me.
Jessi firmly grasped my chin and made

me look into her pale blue eyes. No, you

listen to me Kelsey Makinzee Rien. Oh
no, she pulled the full name card. I was
in trouble now.
What happened six years ago was.
Not. Your. Fault! The person whose fault
it is, is rotting in a jail cell somewhere
probably getting raped daily by his celly.
I raised my eyebrow at her and she
shrugged. We can hope right? After what
that personI will not call him a man,
and I will not call him your dad he lost
that rightbut after what he did to your
mom, and after what you had to grow up
witnessing every day, he deserves all the
hell that he can go through on this earth
before he rots for the rest of eternity in a
different kind of hell. She loosened her
grip on my chin and took my hands in her

tiny hands.
I hate that you do this to yourself,
Kelsey. You are the only person who cant
see how special you are. Lord knows you
have had it rough, and I cant imagine
what it is like for you. But as your best
friend, it hurts me to see you tear yourself
down the way you do. You of all people
deserve happiness now. So, please, Im
begging you. Let it in. Let Kane in. Let me
in.
I grabbed my best friend in a tight hug. I
felt the warmth of a tear slowing slipping
down my cheeks. I knew what Jessi was
talking about, but it was easier said than
done. She didnt know how my mother
looked at me for help and I just stood
there and watched all the life drain from
her. It was something I didnt think I

would ever forgive myself for. H e may

have been rotting in a prison somewhere,
but it didnt help with the fact that some
small part of me believed that maybe I
should probably be sharing the cell right
beside him.
Im sorry, Jessi. I know how difficult
it is to have me as a friend. You have no
idea how much your friendship means to
me. I will try to work on it, okay? You
deserve that much from me.
Jessi shook her head, her wild red curls
flying everywhere. No, Kelsey, I dont
want you to do this for me, I want you to
do this for you. I will be here for you no
matter what. You will never get rid of me
but you need to forgive yourself. Your
mom wouldnt want you to go through life
hating yourself for something you had no

control over. You were stuck in a horrible

situation and there was nothing you could
have done.
I dont care how many times the world
would tell me that, I couldnt make myself
believe it. I had taken the cowardly way
out and I would have to carry that with me
for the rest of my life, but I would do as I
promised Jessi. I would work on me.
Shit. Now Im going to have to redo
your make up on top of finding you
something to wear, Jessi said as she ran
her thumbs under my eyes to try to clear
my cheeks of the little black streaks that I
know had to be running down due to my
crying.
Im sorry to have brought that up like
that on a day that I know you are already
stressing over. Not a good move on my

part, Jessi sighed.

No Jessi, its okay. I need you to give
me a kick in the ass every now and then to
make me remember I do have to go on
living. That no matter how much it hurts, I
am still here and I have people who
gathered around me and loved me when
they didnt have to and I need to be
thankful for that.
Which was true. With all my shame and
guilt over my mom, I rarely took the time
to be thankful for Jessi and her family
extending their home and their love to me
when they didnt have to. They could have
let me go off into the system, but they took
me in and cared for me as if I was one of
their own and the way I repaid them was
to mope and feel sorry for myself for the
six years I had lived with them. I ached

every day for my mom, but I needed to

find that happy medium of being thankful
for what I still had and learning to live
with what I had done. I wanted to be
happy again, I really did. I just hadnt
figured out how to be that way yet.

After many different wardrobe changes,

Jessi helped me decide on a nice summer
dress and a light sweater. Her reasoning
for the choice being, His grandparents
are old, old people grew up in a time
where girls wore a lot of dresses.
Though her reasoning may have been a
little crazy, I went with it and then let her
reapply my makeup. She was just finishing
up when there was a knock at the door.

Thats probably Landon. Ill get it,

Jessi said as she hopped over the pile of
clothes that still lay in the middle of the
floor. I was going to have to clean up this
mess when I got back. As I made my way
to the door to leave, Jessi, stepped back in
the room closing the door behind her. In
her arms was a large arrangement of
flowers.
Was that Landon? Are those from
him? I questioned.
She shook her head. No there was no
one at the door. Just these sitting on the
floor. I looked down the halls but didnt
see anyone. The card has your name on it.
Maybe they are from Kane?
She handed me the flowers and I
plucked the card from the plastic stem.
The top of the card did read my name but

the message was very vague. There was

no name stating who they were from, only
a message saying, Be seeing you.
Be seeing you? Jessi read aloud over
my shoulder. Who do you think they are
from?
The handwriting on the card was
obviously female, so I assumed the lady at
the flower shop had filled it out, but I
honestly had no clue who they were from.
It wasnt as if I knew a bunch of people
but I couldnt understand if they were from
someone I knew, why they wouldnt sign
their name.
I dont know. Maybe it was meant for
a different Kelsey in the dorms or
something and they got the rooms mixed
up, I said as I placed the flowers on my
desk. I hated the thought that someone

might have spent their money, and that the

other Kelsey would never know she had
these beautiful flowers.
Or maybe you have a secret admirer,
Jessi teased as she poked me in my ribs,
and I rolled my eyes at her.
What?! Youre hot, girl. I wouldnt be
surprised if half the guys on campus want
them a little piece, but they have enough
sense in their heads to not approach you
because Kane would more than likely flip
his shit.
Flip his shit, Jessi, really? For starters
I have had no guys approach me the entire
time we have been here other than Kane
and well Nate. So I highly doubt
anything you just said. She was crazy. It
wasnt as though I had guys lined up at my
door, I never had.

Oh believe me, honey, they are all

looking, but the thing you dont realize is
that Kane is like a shadow. He doesnt
know it, but I watch him around you
sometimes. He is always so focused on
you and you just have no clue about
anything. You dont know that when he
catches people checking you out that he
gives them this look that can be sometimes
downright scary, but hot all at the same
time. Well hot for me, scary for the poor
fool whose eyes linger just a bit too long
on you.
Did that really happen? Did Kane really
scare off anyone that looked my way?
While that would be a little annoying, it
also made me a little giddy. It was kind of
a turn-on to have him claiming me as his
in a dont touch AND dont look kind of

way, and I was smiling at the thought.

There was another quick knock at the door
and Jessi and I looked at each other.
Oh no. You get it this time. If there are
more gifts out there for you I might just get
a little depressed.
I laughed at her and went to the door.
This time on the other side stood Landon. I
pushed the door open wider so she could
see who was out there. See, this time it is
for you.
She walked right into his arms and gave
him a quick kiss. This time huh? What am
I missing here? Landon asked as he
wrapped his arm around Jessis waist.
Nothing, just Kelsey getting a large
flower arrangement from an unknown
source. You wouldnt know anything
about that would you?

Landon glanced around me and saw the

flowers on the desk and shook his head.
Nope. Are they from Kane?
I dont think so. The card didnt say
who they were from, but you would think
if they were from Kane he would have left
his name, right?
Landon shrugged. I guess that makes
sense. I dont know anything about it if he
was planning on surprising you with
flowers, but I know one thing, if they are
not from him its going to be pretty
entertaining when he finds out who they
are from, he chuckled to himself.
There it was again. More people
sensing Kane had this possessiveness over
me. How was I the only one not to see it?
Well if you ladies are ready, we have
a barbeque to get to. I havent eaten all

day just preparing for it. So if you dont

mind I would like to get our asses over
there.
With one last glance at the flowers, I
followed them out the door. I didnt know
who they were from, but if the message on
the card held true I guess I would be
seeing them soon.

Landon drove us to a neighborhood that

seemed so familiar. I couldnt put my
finger on what it was at first, but then I
realized I had been here before. Only the
last time I was here it was dark and I was
on the back of a motorcycle. This is the
same neighborhood Kane had driven us
through the night he had taken me to his
spot and I spilled my guts to him.
We pulled up in front of a large house
and I could see Kanes bike sitting in the
driveway. If I looked close enough to the
end of the street, I could see the park. He

never told me his grandparents lived on

this street, but then again why would he?
But still, Kane was pretty much raised by
his grandparents so that meant he was
raised in the ginormous house setting in
front of me. I could see someone like Nate
growing up here. He screamed rich and
proper lifestyle. Not Kane though. With
his tattoos and piercings you would never
expect to see him walk out the front door
of a house like this, but there he was,
stepping out onto the porch making his
way down the perfectly manicured lawn to
Landons truck.
I was still a little awestruck when Kane
pulled the door to the truck open and
helped me out. I couldnt take my eyes off
this house. Now I was really nervous to
meet his grandparents. What if they were

like those old time people on TV that

already had who their children and
grandchildren were going to end up with
picked out and they would look at me as
no more than a threat to their plans.
Glad you could make it. You look
beautiful. Kanes words finally drew my
attention away from the house and I
looked at him and saw he was slowly
running his eyes up and down my body.
She ought to! She went through every
damn piece of clothing both she and I own
to get that look, Jessi said as she slid
across the seat of the truck and hopped out
behind me. When Landon made his way
around the truck to her she gave his
stomach a hard slap.
Ugh! What the hell was that for?!
Landon grunted and grabbed his stomach.

Did you see what Kane did there? He

opened the door for Kelsey and helped her
out. You need to take note, dummy.
We all started laughing but mine was
more of a nervous laugh. I still couldnt
shake the feeling that there was a chance
his grandparents would hate me.
Thanks a lot man, Landon growled
and pushed past us all, playfully dragging
Jessi toward the house. We are going in
to get some grub. Im not sticking around
you and taking a chance on you making me
look bad in front of my girl anymore.
Brother, you dont have to have me to
do that, Kane yelled, earning him a
middle finger from Landon as he
disappeared into the house with Jessi.
So you ready to head in? Kane asked
as he gave my hand a slight tug, but it was

like my feet had taken root in the front

yard and they wouldnt budge. He turned
back to me; the smile that was on his face
was now slipping. Whats wrong? he
asked, and I could hear the concern in his
voice.
I took a deep breath. What if they dont
like me. I know how important they are to
you and honestly I have never met a boy
anyones parents before now, well
besides Jessis. I couldnt believe I had
almost slipped and called Kane my
boyfriend. I wasnt sure what we were.
Sure the things Jessi had told me about
him not liking other guys looking at me
might have been true, but that didnt make
him my boyfriend.
Kane sighed and cupped my cheeks
making me look into those mesmerizing

gray eyes. Out here in the sunlight they

were reflecting back at me so bright.
Kelsey, they will love you. I havent
been able to stop talking about you to them
since we met, so its pretty much like they
know you anyway. You make me happy
and they love to see me happy. I promise
youre going to be fine.
I took a deep breath and nodded. I was
here now anyway so there was no turning
back. He lightly kissed my lips, then took
my hands in his again and led me to the
house. Once we were inside I heard
several conversations happening and the
loud barking laughs of some men. But the
smell it was like I had died and gone to
heaven. I could smell the familiar smell of
food cooking on the grill, and then there
was this sweet smell in the air.

I couldnt put my finger on what exactly

the smell was. Maybe it was butter? I
dont know, all I knew was if it smelled
that good, I could only imagine what it
would taste like. Now I could see why
Landon was so eager to eat. My stomach
was growling at that moment and I prayed
the noise level in the house was enough to
mask it from Kane.
This way. Kane began pulling me
through the foyer to the living room. The
far wall was made of three sets of French
doors put together. Every door was open,
allowing the smells of the grilling meats to
make their way through the house. Once
we stepped outside, I scanned the yard
that was full of people standing around
talking and little kids running around
playing tag. He wasnt joking when he

said the neighborhood got together for

this. There were so many people here I
wouldnt doubt if all their neighbors were
here in this one backyard.
He continued to lead the way over to a
very large outdoor kitchen. Mastering the
grill was an older man, his hair was gray
and he had a large smile on his face as he
talked with a few other men. I could see
the resemblance of his smile with Kanes.
This must have been his grandpa.
Hey, Paw, Kane said as we
approached the old man, who turned in
our direction at Kanes greeting. His smile
never wavered.
Well now, who do we have here? he
said as he glanced back and forth between
Kane and me.
Kane pulled me up beside him and

wrapped his arm around my waist. This

is Kelsey. The girl I told you about.
The old man looked at me for another
second or two before barking out a laugh
and pulling me from Kanes side into a
tight hug. Its about damn time, boy. Me
and your maw were beginning to think you
had done lost your mind and made the
whole thing up. He pushed me back at
arms length, then looked over my
shoulder at Kane. I will tell you this, she
sure is a pretty one. I blushed at his
statement and I could hear Kane laughing
behind me. Now you tell me, sweetheart,
what in the world is a pretty little thing
like you doing with that ugly mug back
there? The old man nodded in Kanes
direction. I tried to tell him when he went
and put that dang thing in his lip that there

was no way he would ever get a girl

now.
And I told you, old man, that the ladies
love it. Makes me look all hard ass,
Kane said as he pulled me from his
grandpas arms. Now gets your hands off
my woman. You got one of your own
and then some. Kane playfully punched
his grandpas shoulder.
What can I say, the ladies love me.
He shrugged. But that little ol gal in
there cooking away stole my heart when I
was about your age, and the little thief
never gave it back.
I loved the way his grandpa lit up when
he talked about his grandma. I hadnt
grown up seeing love like that. Sure my
mom loved me, but there was never any
love that I could see between my parents.

Just control and fear. Seeing the way

Kanes grandpa was still so deeply in
love with his grandma after all these years
had me hoping that I would be that lucky
to have someone love me like that.
My name is Ralph. Ralph Riley. He
smiled and held out his hand.
Kelsey Rien. I smiled back and
placed my hand in his, and he gave my
arm a good, firm shake.
Boy, dont just stand there like a stick
in the mud. Take her on in there to your
Maw and get her something sweet to eat. I
will have these steaks done shortly,
Ralph ordered Kane. I gave him a slight
wave goodbye and then Kane led me back
into the house.
Okay, that wasnt so bad. One
grandparent down, one to go. If his

grandma was anything like Ralph I think I

would be just fine. When we were back in
the house Kane started leading me down a
short hall. With each step I took, the smell
of baked goods grew stronger and
stronger. I wonder if their house always
smelled like this. No need for scented
candles if you could bake I guess.
At the end of the hall was a massive
kitchen. I guess it would have to be
massive though to fit into this huge house.
There were a few women exiting the other
side of the room, but then there was one
short, plump woman with short, dark hair
and flour on her apron running all around
the large room.
Maw, Kane said, but the woman
didnt stop what she was doing. She had
her back to us and was running back and

forth from the oven to what looked like

pie dough on the counter. Maw! Kane
yelled, and the little old woman abruptly
tuned to us and grabbed her chest.
Kane Matthew! Are you trying to give
your maw a heart attack?! Dont sneak up
on me like that.
Kane laughed and let go of my hand and
wrapped his arms around his grandmother.
She hardly came up to Kanes shoulders
so I could tell she was very short.
How are you, sweetie? I put two apple
pies in the back of the fridge for you to
take home with you later.
Thanks, Maw. I have someone I want
you to meet. He glanced over at me and
her eyes followed suit. This is Kelsey.
He smiled and so did his grandma.
I nervously made my way to them. Its

so nice to meet you. You have a beautiful

home. Thank you for having me. Oh God,
Kelsey. Stop rambling.
His grandma continued to smile at me,
even with all my awkwardness. We are
so happy to have you, honey. I could tan
Kanes hide for not bringing you around
sooner. He picks a time when he knows
we are going to be swamped with people
to bring you around. She reached up and
firmly grasped Kanes chin. I love you,
but sometimes you are not very bright.
She pulled his face down by his chin and
placed a kiss on his cheek.
Ha! Thanks, Maw. You see what she
did there? Kane glanced at me. She
insults me, but because she loves me and
kisses me it makes it okay. You women.
He shook his head and I giggled.

Boy, just because you are a man now

dont think I wont take a wooden spoon
to your hide. Dont sass me. I know what
you were thinking. You thought if you
bring her when we have the big cookout
she would get lost in all the commotion,
but Maw knows how you think. Thats
why Kelsey is going to help me finish up
these pies and youre going to go out there
and help your Paw with the grill. Go on
now, scoot. We have girl things to do.
I sent Kane a panicked look, but he just
smiled and kissed his grandmother on the
cheek. He then came over to me and
whispered, You will be fine, in my ear
and left the room. Now it was just me and
his grandma. What in the world did she
want to be alone with me for? I just stood
there knotting my hands together. Not sure

what to do next.
Well, come on over here, girl. I wont
bite. She sweetly smiled at me, but it
didnt help my unease. I slowly made my
way toward her and she handed me the
rolling pin.
You ever roll out pie dough before?
I shook my head. No, maam.
Oh, honey, youre going to have to cut
the maam stuff out right now. My name is
Emma. You best learn to use it. I noticed
then she said everything with a smile. This
woman could be insulting you, but her
smile was so sweet that you would never
realize it was an insult.
The trick is, you have to make sure you
have enough flour so that the pin doesnt
stick to the dough. Like this. She said as
she sprinkled the flour over the ball of

dough in front of us and began to roll it

out. See? Now you try. I have a couple
pies I need to get out of the oven.
She handed the roller back to me and I
went about rolling the dough out just like
she had. My mom had never made pies
from scratch before. We always bought
the frozen kind or the ones already baked
from the deli. My mom was a hell of a
cook, but she could not bake to save her
life. The cookies were always burnt, the
one time she tried to bake me a birthday
cake the middle of the cake was still wet.
We had laughed about it for hours and she
vowed to never try baking again.
Lost in my memory, I didnt notice
Emma had returned to her position beside
of me.
Am I doing this right? I asked, the

dough was rolling out easily but I had no

clue if I was rolling it too thin or if it was
too thick.
Thats perfect. Ill grab a pan and let
you lay it in it.
She laid one of those aluminum pie
pans in front of the dough I had just rolled
flat. Now what you have to do here is
fold the dough over the roller and then lay
it over the pan.
Yeah, that would be easier said than
done because when I tried to lift the dough
from the countertop it began to tear. I
immediately stopped what I was doing.
Im going to mess it up. Maybe you
should do it.
She just shook her head. Its okay. Just
quickly move it and we can worry about if
it tears later.

I took a deep breath and did as she said.

When I finally had the dough in the pan,
there was only a slight tear.
Now heres how we fix that. Just take
your fingers and pinch the tear closed.
Then lightly press down on it til it is even
with the rest of the dough.
I did as she said and had the hole
closed in no time. She then dumped a
bowl of cut apples into the pan with the
dough, sprinkled some sugar and
cinnamon on top, then placed the dough
she had already rolled out on top of the
now-full pie pan. She then cut off the
excess dough, pinching the edges to seal
the two doughs together before placing the
pie in the oven.
Now that thats done, come sit and talk
with me.

She led the way to a small corner table

that had a pitcher of lemonade sitting
there. We both took a seat and she filled
up two glasses that sat beside the pitcher.
That grandson of mine has not stopped
talking about you. I think he might be in
love.
I choked on my lemonade. Kane love
me? That was just crazy. Though I had
some crazy strong feelings for Kane, I
wasnt even sure the feelings were mutual.
I could always hope they were, but until
he said the words to me I would never
know.
Kane has never brought a girl here or
even talked about one to us before. You
must be something special.
I could feel the blush creeping up my
neck. I was nothing special. It made me

happy to think that she believed I was but

when she found out about my past it would
be a hard fall. I should probably set her
straight about it now, but I didnt want to.
For just a little while I wanted to be
someone different. I wanted to be special.
Kane is something else. I have never
met anyone like him before, I said in
between sips of my lemonade.
He sure is. That boy has not had an
easy life. Losing his parents so young
changed him. He went through a faze for a
while where he wouldnt let anyone close
to him. He was out of control. The rage
that was inside him about things he could
not change, and the fact that he wouldnt
let himself grieve over the loss of his
parents, had me fearing he was ruined. His
first instinct was to react with his fists. I

dont know how many times I had to go to

the school and talk to the principle about
him fighting with the other kids. He
actually broke one poor boys nose with a
locker door once. We tried to talk to him,
but he wouldnt let us in. As soon as he
graduated he moved out and hardly came
around for a while.
I couldnt believe the things she was
telling me. This didnt sound like the Kane
I knew at all.
Oh, sweetie, I didnt mean to scare
you. I can tell by that look on your face
that you never expected to hear all of this.
He is nothing like that boy anymore. From
time to time we would hear the rumble of
that dang motorcycle go by and we would
see him park at the park down the street.
His daddy used to go there when he was a

teenager and had been taking Kane there

pretty much since he was born. Then one
day instead of driving right by our house
he surprised us and pulled in. Ralph and I
had been sitting on our porch and he
walked right up to us and hugged us,
apologizing for everything. He said that he
knew that his parents would be
disappointed in the way he had turned out,
and it made him sick to think of the way
they would look at him now and from
that day on he has been a completely
different person. He goes to school, he
works, and he still takes time to come see
his old Paw and Maw.
Now that was more like the Kane I had
come to know. Considerate and kind. I
knew Kane had a past, everyone does.
Lord knows my past is far from fairytale

perfect, but it hurt me to know that he went

through so much pain and fury over his
parents the way he did. It also made me
hope, though. Looking at where he had
been to where he is now sparked some
faith that I too would one day heal. That I
would be able to come to terms with what
had happened.
He has also changed since he met
you. Her words jarred me from my
thoughts and she placed her hand on mine.
He has seemed happier these last few
weeks. When he talks about you he lights
up. I havent seen him light up like that
since he was a boy. Sure he has come to
terms with his parents death and has
learned to live again, but you my dear, you
make him happy again. And I thank you
for that.

I just smiled back at her. I didnt really

know what to say. Kane made me happy
too. I never thought things would end up
here but I was glad they were. I was glad
Kane was in my life. I was surprised
when I felt a set of warm lips brush
against my cheek and when I turned, I
found Kanes gray eyes and his wide
smile.
Can I have her back now, Maw? Paw
is pulling the steaks off the grill and
everyone is already sitting at the tables out
back. I came in here to get the two
prettiest women I know.
Emma got up from her chair and patted
Kane on the cheek. Such a kiss ass, but I
love you anyway.
I covered my mouth with my hand to
hold in my laugh. I never thought I would

hear the word ass come out of that little

old lady, but boy was it funny. Emma
headed out back where everyone was
waiting, leaving Kane and me alone in the
kitchen.
So how did it go in here? he asked as
he jumped up on the counter and popped
some kind of Emmas sugary goodness
that was sitting in a basket on the counter
into his mouth.
I got up from my chair and went to stand
between his legs. I just wanted to be near
him, to hug him for a minute because of all
the pain hed gone through in his past. I
was so happy that after some time he was
able to find peace with it all.
When I was tucked between his legs, I
wrapped my arms around his waist and
buried my face in his chest. I hadnt had a

home in quite some time, but whenever I

was in Kanes arms, I felt at home. I felt
comfort and peace.
Not that I am complaining about this,
but did something happen? Did my Maw
say something to you?
I just shook my head. I didnt want to
tell him she had revealed some of his past
to me. When he was ready to tell me about
it, he would. No. I just missed you and I
am happy you brought me here today.
Your family is great and I can see why you
care about them so much, and its obvious
they adore you.
He smiled and kissed the tip of my
nose. When he pulled back he looked me
in the eyes. But come on, who wouldnt
adore me though?
I laughed and shoved his chest hard,

catching him by surprise and almost

knocking him off the counter.
What? I was being serious. He
winked.
Come on, lets go see if we can eat
enough to fill our bellies as big as that
head of yours.
Kane hopped from the counter and
wrapped his arms around my waist before
lifting me into the air. I dont know how I
ever went without you in my life, Kelsey
Rien, and I sure as hell never want to be
without you now that I have you.
I softly kissed his lips as he held me
suspended in the air. I knew exactly what
he meant and I made myself a promise
right there in his grandmothers kitchen
that I would learn to live again. There was
too much good happening in my life right

now for me to keep dragging everyone

down with me. Like the tiny dandelion
seeds, I had longed to be set free. Free
from the memories, free from the pain
and the shame. Maybe Kane was that tiny
puff of wind I had been waiting for to
come and set me free.

We took our seats at the table out back

with everyone else. I glanced around and
finally spotted Jessi sitting a few seats
down from me beside Landon. I had
almost forgotten about them being here.
There was a clatter and Kanes grandpa
stood up with his cup in hand.
Just want to take a minute to welcome
everyone and say how much we love
having you people here for this every
year. He warmly smiled at everyone
around the table. We have been grilling
out for this game as far back as I can

remember. Probably since Paulmay god

rest his soulwas a baby, and over the
years some of the faces we were used to
seeing would dwindle off and new ones
would come. I couldnt miss his eyes
glance in mine and Kanes direction.
But Emma and I would just like to
thank each and every one of you from the
bottom of our hearts for finding the time to
spend with an old man and woman, and
making these years more enjoyable. Now
Ill stop flapping my jaws and let you
people eat. Im pretty sure Landon down
there is having a hard time keeping the
drool running down his chin wiped
away.
The entire table erupted in laughter and
you could hear Landon throwing a Har
har har over all the commotion as Ralph

sat back down. I kept my eyes on him and

I could have sworn he might have winked
at me, but Kane began piling my pate full
of food and Ralph and I lost eye contact.
After the gamewhich we won
everyone started to say their goodbyes and
go home. When most of the crowd had
gone, it was just Kanes grandparents,
Jessi, Landon, Kane and myself left. The
men were outside putting away all the
tables and chairs, and Jessi and I were in
the kitchen helping Emma clean up and put
away leftovers. We were just finishing up
when the guys came through the back
laughing and shouting at each other about
what their favorite parts of the game had
been.
No, man, youre wrong. He sacked the
kid so hard I swear I could hear bones

breaking through the TV. Landon was

shouting over Kane and Ralph.
Yeah, Landon, we hear ya. Kane
rolled his eyes, then they landed on me
and he gave me one of his deep dimple
smiles.
You laugh but I am serious! I would
not want to get tackled by that dude. Hes
a fuc he stopped what he was saying
and glanced at Emma who had a wooden
spoon pointed in his direction.
You want to rephrase that last
comment? She narrowed her eyes at him.
Sorry, Miss Emma, just a little caught
up in the moment. He sweetly smiled and
came over to wrap her up in a hug.
Good. Cause I had a pie all ready and
waiting for you to take home. I would hate
to have to take it away from you as

punishment for using that ugly word. She

patted his cheek.
Oh, Maw, I dont know what youre
all worked up about. Didnt you just call
me a kiss ass not more than five hours
ago? Kane raised his eyebrow at her and
in return got the wooden spoon pointed in
his direction.
Boy dont you sass your Maw. I may
be old but I will still wear your tail out
with this spoon you hear me? The F word
is just an ugly word, and the way you kids
spill it out of your mouth all the time
she stopped and began shaking her head
back and forthSoap! All of you need a
good bar of soap in the mouth and you
would think twice about using such ugly
words.
I know, Maw, I know, Kane cooed as

he walked over to her with his arms open

wide for a hug; but instead he received a
quick thump to the forehead with the
spoon she had been threating everyone
with.
Ow! Maw! That hurt! he said as he
rubbed the top of his head.
That was just for good measure. Let
me hear the word fall from your lips and I
will give you more than just that one little
tap.
We all couldnt hold in our laughter at
the sight of Kane rubbing his head and his
grandma still pointing that spoon at him.
All right, Em, I think you have given
the young people a good enough life
lesson. Ralph cut in.
Yeah, dont use the F word or you will
have little old ladies chasing you around

with bars of soap and wooden spoons,

Landon finished and took off out of the
room when Emma turned to look at him,
throwing a thanks for the food over his
shoulder.
Jessi and I thanked Kanes grandparents
for having us and told them goodbye, but
as Jessi walked out the door I felt a hand
touch my arm and I stopped.
I dont know what pain you have gone
through in your life, but I can see it all
over your face. It was Ralph that had
stopped me. Kane was still in the kitchen
with Emma. Kane used to have the same
hurt about him. There is nothing anyone
can say to make that kind of pain go away.
You either learn to deal and move on, or
you let it consume you and you shut down.
I dont think its just coincidence that you

and my grandson have found each other.

Maybe he is what you have been needing
all along to finally let go of the things that
haunt you.
I looked into his eyes and noticed they
were the same gray as Kanes; they just
didnt shine as bright. His looked duller
from age and sadness. All the thoughts of
Kane losing his parents had made me
completely overlook the fact that these
people had also lost a son. I found myself
flipping the charms on my bracelet and
Ralph gently took my hand to stop my
nervous habit.
All I am saying is when the time
comes for you to finally let it all go let
it. Let Kane be there for you. We will be
there for you too, Kelsey. It doesnt take
an idiot to see you are a special young

woman. Even my grandson who can be a

complete fool was smart enough to see it
and scoop you up. He smiled, which
made me smile.
Thank you. For everything. I meant
more than just his hospitality and for
welcoming me into their home, but I think
he knew exactly what I was thanking him
for without me having to say the words.
He nodded and Kane came out of the
kitchen with a bag of the leftovers Emma
was sending him home with.
You ready, beautiful? he asked me
and I nodded. He then gave his grandfather
a quick hug. Ill be back over in a day or
two to change the oil in Maws car.
Ralph nodded. I told you I can handle
it but if you insist, go right ahead. You can
be the one to get your hands dirty and I

will just stand back and boss.

What? Like you dont do that
already? Kane joked back and they both
laughed.
Youre exactly right, boy. Now get this
pretty girl home before it gets any later.
I gave Ralph a quick wave and Kane
and I headed down the sidewalk. We were
making our way to Landons truck which
was still waiting on the curb. I figured
since I rode over here with them I would
just catch a ride back since he was taking
Jess back to the dorms anyway; but when
we got to the truck, Kane handed his bag
of leftovers through the window to Jessi.
Can you drop this off at my apartment
for me after you take Jessi to the dorms?
he spoke to Landon. There is somewhere
I want to take Kelsey before the weather

starts to get too cold.

Sure thing. See ya later, bro.
Thanks, man.
I watched as Landons taillights
disappeared into the distance.
Um, Kane? I turned to face him.
Yeah?
I am in a dress you know. How in the
world am I going to ride on the back of the
bike?
His smile beamed and he walked over
to the garage door to his grandparents
house. After putting in the code, the doors
slowly crept open. Sitting inside was an
older model blue pickup truck.
It was my dads, he said. He was in
the process of restoring it when he died.
When I got old enough and pulled my head
out of my ass, I finished it. Its what I

drive when its too cold for my bike.

He walked to the passengers side and
opened the door for me, then took my hand
in his and helped me hop into the truck.
Once I was in I watched him walk around
the front and couldnt help but be amazed
that I was here now. That I was with
someone as attractive as Kane and that I
was finally learning to live life again.
So, where are you taking me now? I
asked.
Kane turned the key and the truck
roared to life. You will see. He smiled
and slowly pulled us out of the garage and
onto the street. I knew better to even
question him any further. He wasnt going
to tell me anything so I might as well just
enjoy the ride.

We had been traveling for what seemed

like thirty minutes before he cut off the
main road and onto a small dirt road. It
looked like it had been cut right through
the middle of the forest because thick trees
and darkness lined each side. We slowly
crept down the small path a short ways
before he pulled the truck into a clearing.
It was simply beautiful. The moon was
full and reflecting off some form of water
in the distance. We had the windows
down in the truck and the warm nightly
breeze filtered into the cab. It was quiet
even though we were out in the middle of
the woods. My guess was the loud noise
from the trucks engine had scared off all
the wildlife.

It was a clear night and you could see

every star in the sky. There were
obviously no lights around, but everything
was lit up due to the full moon and all the
stars. I never thought places like this even
really existed in real life. You only read
about places like this, or saw them in
some movies. But then you knew it was all
staged and they are probably really in
some studio with a green screen behind
them and all the stars and sounds were
edited in later. But not here, this was the
real deal.
Kane stopped the truck, put it in park
and shut the engine off.
Another secret spot, huh? I asked and
tuned on the bench seat to look at him.
I found this one after my parents died.
I like to come here when the memories

from the other spot are just too much. This

spot is just mine. He paused. I had been
out driving around for hours when I found
it. I had been having a bad day, back then
it didnt take much to set me off. I was so
angry all the time that if I thought someone
was looking at me wrong, my first instinct
was to connect my fist with their face to
stop the stare. I sat and silently listened
to him. I had just been kicked out of
school for another fight and had gotten into
a huge argument with my maw about it and
I just took off. I had been driving down
that road when I caught out of the corner
of my eye the path that led out here. And
have been coming here since. Its actually
a good place to fish and swim when Im
not here thinking.
Swim? You cant be serious. You just

said that you fish here. That means there

are fish in that water. You actually get in
there?
He raised his eyebrow at me. Yeah I
do. Have you ever been in the ocean
Kelsey?
Well, yeah, but
You do know that there are more fish
in the ocean, right? Big ass fish too, he
said with a slight amount of humor in in
tone.
I paused for second. Well, thats just
completely different! I didnt know
exactly how it was, but the logic in my
head right now was screaming it was so.
He laughed and popped his door open.
Come on. He held out his hand and I just
sat there looking at it. Kelsey, Come.
On. He repeated with a sly smile.

I violently shook my head back and

forth. No way, Kane. I am not getting out
of this truck. I crossed my arms over my
chest and turned my nose up in the air.
There was no way I was getting out and
chancing him doing something crazy like
throwing me in that water.
He let out a rough sigh and before I
knew it, he was making his way around to
my side of the truck. He opened the door
and lifted me out and began striding
toward the water.
Put me down! I swear Kane if you
throw me in there I will come at you with
fists and finger nails flying! Do not push
me!
He laughed, but set me on my feet. I
swear I wasnt going to throw you in. I
just wanted you to see it up close.

I stood there and shook my head no. I

knew what up close to water was in boy
talk. It usually ended up with the girl
drenched like a soaking rat while they
howled with laughter.
Come on. Just put your feet in. I
promise nothing is going to get you. Do it
for me? he asked and stuck out his bottom
lip in a pout. The craziest thought crossed
my mind to just pull that lip between my
teeth and I felt a warmth grow in my belly
thinking about it.
Kane that water is probably freezing,
I stated. After thinking about it though, a
douse in some cold water might actually
be what I needed at the moment.
No its been too warm these past few
weeks. My guess would be that the water
feels about like a lukewarm bath.

I glanced at the pond and I could see

what looked like a very small amount of
fog rolling off the surface. Maybe dipping
our feet in wouldnt be so bad.
I nodded. Okay, I will put my feet in.
But Im warning you now, if I feel
something so much as brush past my foot
Im screaming like a little girl and locking
myself in the truck.
He smiled. Deal.

I slowly edged toward the water, still a

little nervous that Kane would push me in.
When I made it to the waters edge I could
see by the moonlight that the water was
very clean and clear. I could see the tiny
pebbles that led down the shallow surface
disappearing as the water got deeper.
Looking around, I could see toward the
back of the pond that there was a small
stream that connected into it, then flowed
right back out the other side.
I think this used to just be a stream and
that someone dug out the part over here

creating the pond. Kane said.

I slipped off my shoes and Kane kicked
off his boots and rolled the bottom of his
jeans up. After he was done he held out
his hand to me. Sometimes the rocks can
be a little slippery. I dont want you to fall
so hold on to me.
I placed my hand in his. Yeah, but
what happens if you go down and I dont?
He thought for a second. I guess we
will both be going for a swim then.
I playfully slapped his chest and he
laughed as we slowly edged into the
water. Kane was right, the water was
warmer than what I thought it would be. It
actually felt pretty good on my bare feet
and legs.
See, not so bad is it? he asked.
No, its not. You were right. This

temperature is perfect. Its too bad we

didnt bring swim suits. I cant remember
the last time I went night swimming, I
said and slowly kicked around in the
water. When Kane never said anything
back to me, I glanced up at him and could
see him pondering an idea.
What is it? I couldnt take his silence
anymore.
Well, we could go swimming. If you
really wanted too.
I gave him a questioning look. How?
We would have to ride home in soaking
wet clothes.
Not if we lost the clothes.
My eyes went wide. Was he saying
what I think he was saying? Are you
talking about skinny dipping?
He smiled. Well, not actual skinny

dipping. I was going to suggest keeping on

our underwear but if you want to go naked
Im game. He gave me a playful wink.
You cannot be serious.
You said it would be fun to go night
swimming. I just thought if you really
wanted to, we could. I swear I would be
on my best behavior. I wont touch you if
it will make you more comfortable.
What he was suggesting really wasnt
that crazy. I had on a bra and my panties
were boy shorts so they would have me
covered. There really wasnt much
difference in a bathing suit and the
undergarments I was currently wearing.
So whats it going to be? You going to
walk on the wild side with me? He
waggled his eye brows.
I had never been swimming in my bra

and panties before. Im sure there were a

lot of people my age that had done it
numerous times. Sometimes I felt like I
missed out a little on the fun, reckless,
teenage years by secluding myself the way
I did.
I didnt have any exciting stories or
memories to look back on. Just the
horrible ones I was trying to get away
from. Maybe I needed this, to make some
crazy new memories to cancel out some of
the bad.
Okay.
Kane looked at me stunned. Okay?
Yes. Lets do it.
He stood there for a minute in silence
just starting at me. All right. But a second
ago I was sure you were completely
against the idea. Can I ask what made you

change your mind? Wait, I know what it

was. You just wanted to get me naked
didnt you?
I laughed. I dont remember a time I
have ever laughed so much after my mom
died until I met Kane. It was a nice change
from crying. God, could you get any more
full of yourself? I teased back. Its like
you said. I need a good walk on the wild
side every now and then. You know, to
live a little. I am ready to make some new
memories, and what better way to start
then to strip down and get to it?
Strip down, huh? I like the way you
are thinking already. He flashed me a
smile then gave his lip ring a flip.
Oh boy, when he messed with that lip
ring it was like instant turn on for me. Im
glad he didnt listen to what his grandpa

Ralph had said and kept it. I was growing

fonder about body piercing every day.
We walked the few steps back out of
the water and onto the bank. The tall grass
rubbed my legs when we reached the
bank.
Ready? Kane asked as he crossed his
arms at the bottom of his shirt, grabbed the
hem, and lifted it effortless over his head.
I watched all the muscles in his
abdomen twitch and ripple as he tossed
the discarded shirt to the side in the tall
grass. I raked my eyes slowly up his toned
chest and saw that in addition to his tattoo
sleeves, he had one that twisted and
scrolled across the top of his chest from
shoulder to shoulder that read, Honor thy
Father and thy Mother. His gray eyes
reflected in the moonlight, looking as if

they were glowing, and I stood in awe of

him.
When I finally realized I was staring at
him, I quickly glanced away. I guessed it
was my turn to lose some clothing. I
nervously unbuttoned the sweater I had
been wearing and slid it off my arms,
tossing it into the pile with his shirt. I then
grasped one of the straps to my dress and
slid it down my shoulder, doing the same
with the other shortly after.
When I looked back at Kane, he was
just watching me. His eyes were on my
straps, then he slowly brought them up to
connect with mine. We stared at each
other as I let my dress fall to the tall grass
at my feet. I kind of expected Kanes eyes
to immediately drop and begin checking
out my body, but they never wavered from

the intimate hold they had on my eyes.

I lifted one foot and stepped out of my
dress and in the one small step I found
myself almost chest to chest with Kane. I
could see the quick rise and fall with each
breath he took. I noticed then that my
breathing was just as fast. We kept up the
staring match until Kane had rid himself of
his jeans. I kept my eyes locked with his
like he had done for me. It was kind of
surreal. Here I was standing in the middle
of an open field in just my bra and panties,
with a guy who was just in his underwear
and we had made no attempt to sneak a
peek at each other. Not that I didnt want
to, but this moment was too intimate to go
there.
I felt Kanes hand connect with mine
and he laced our fingers together. My eyes

fluttered shut and my body lit up like a

flame from just that tiny bit of contact. If I
didnt get in that water soon, I felt like I
was going to combust and burn the whole
world down with me. Kane pulled my
hand and I opened my eyes as he walked
backward to the edge of the pond. He
slowly retreated into the water pulling me
with him, never taking his eyes off mine.
When we were waist deep into the
water he took my other hand in his and
interlaced our fingers before pulling our
locked hands to his chest.
I know I said I wouldnt touch you,
Kelsey. That I would give you your space
so you would be comfortable but right
now all I can think about is your lips, and
your body, and how incredibly beautiful
you are. He let go of one my hands to

tuck a small piece of hair behind my ear,

then he slowly ran his fingers down the
side my neck.
I couldnt stop the way my head fell
back and the sigh that escaped my lips. As
good as it felt for him to run his fingers
down my neck, it did nothing to compare
to the way it felt when he touched his lips
there. He had taken me a little by surprise,
I hadnt been expecting him to begin
kissing my neck but I didnt want him to
stop. I let my hands fall from his chest and
into the water. He slid one had around my
slick waist and cradled the back of my
head with the other and tilted my body
slightly back so he could have better
access.
Kane kissed and nibbled and sucked
just about every surface of my neck before

running his nose up the side to my ear.

Once at my ear he gave my lobe a soft
kiss. If you want to stop, please, stop me
now, he breathed into my ear. I didnt
want him to stop, though. Why deny my
body what it was screaming that it
wanted?
I ran my now-wet hands up his bare
chest, slipping easily along his taut skin. I
couldnt help myself when I reached his
nipples, lightly running my finger over
them, playing with them. I watched him
shudder and felt him grip my waist tighter,
and it made me give them a little pinch.
Kane responded by pulling me deeper
into the cool water to where my feet could
no longer touch the ground, so I wrapped
my legs around his waist. His arousal was
evident as it was pressed against my

belly. I thought I would be scared since I

had never been this far before, but I
wasnt. Need and desire had possessed
my body and all I could think about was
more. I wanted so much more.
I found Kanes lips and began kissing
every inch of them before that too was not
enough and I urged him to open his mouth
to me. It was obvious Kane was letting me
take the lead here. He didnt want to be in
control right now for fear of pushing me
into something I wasnt sure of. But what
he didnt know was I had never been
surer. How could this be wrong when it
felt so right?
After I explored Kanes mouth to my
liking, I pulled back to look at him. How
did I end up here? I would never
understand it. Things with Kane may not

be for forever, but if I was going to have

him now, I wanted to make the most of it. I
slowly reached behind my back to unlatch
my bra.
Kanes eyes widened. Kelsey, I
promise, I didnt bring you here for this. I
just wanted you to be part of this place
with me. Its special to me, youre special
to me. It just made sense. We dont have
to go any farther.
I placed one of my fingers on his lips,
then kissed him. With my lips still pressed
against his I whispered, I want to, Kane.
Please. I pulled back to look into his
eyes. I could still see indecision swirling
in them but I quickly unlatched my bra
anyway. The straps fell down my
shoulders getting caught in the crooks of
my arms. He looked at the straps and then

looked up into my eyes. I nodded, assuring

him that this was okay, that I did want this.
He slowly pulled one hand from around
my waist and placed it against my cheek.
He didnt say anything to me before he
leaned in and softly kissed my lips. When
he pulled back he began to run the hand
that had been pressed against my cheek
down my jaw, then my neck and on down
to my chest.
My breathing was shaky. Not from fear,
but from anticipation. He hooked his index
finger around the small part of my bra that
connect the two cups and slowly began
pulling it away from my body. I took one
last deep breath and held it in. I had never
been topless in front of a guy before.
I watched Kanes face closely. Not
even really sure what I was looking for.

Disappointment maybe? Disappointment

that I would be lacking where Im sure a
few of the other girls he had been with had
been in abundance. I didnt want to feel
that way, but I was a girl after all. But
when I truly looked into Kanes eyes, all I
saw was desire. The same desire I myself
was feeling.
He ran his hand down between my
breasts and I all but orgasmed right there.
I had never had this part of my body
touched by someone else before. Not even
through clothes, so the closeness of his
wet skin touching my skin was the most
intimate thing I had ever experienced.
Kane kept his eyes on mine as he lowered
his head to my chest.
When his mouth connected with my
nipple my body bucked and then

shuddered, and the water rippled around

us. I had never experienced anything quite
like this before. I could feel the tingling in
my belly growing. Is this possible? Can
this alone send me over the edge?
My question was answered about two
seconds later when Kane raked his teeth
across my nipple and my body exploded
into a million different pieces. My head
fell back as I called out his name to the
night sky.
Kane kissed me deeply as I came down
from my high. Little did he know but the
slow strokes of his tongue against mine
was only working me up again. I wasnt
sure I had any control over my own body
anymore. It wanted Kane. It wanted what
my head wasnt sure it was ready for, but
what my heart was screaming it needed.

I reluctantly broke away from Kanes

lips. He first looked at me as though he
wasnt sure if he had done something
wrong. I mustered all the courage I could
and whispered. I want it to be you,
Kane.
He slowly closed his eyes before
responding, Kelsey, baby, please dont
say things like that. Im not worthy of that.
Believe me. He reopened his eyes and I
could see the turmoil swirling within
them.
How could he not see how perfect he
was? How could he not realize that, to me,
his past and his reputation didnt matter?
All those people could think what they
wanted about Kane. I knew the truth. I
knew he wasnt that person anymore. That
alone was all I needed to know that I was

meant to be here, in this water with him

right now. Our lives had been so riddled
with sadness and ugliness that we were
destined to find each other. I felt it in
every fiber of my being that this was right.
Please, Kane, I need it to be you.
Before I met you I was a shell of who I
used to be. I wanted desperately to find
her again, and you have helped me do that.
I know that its not a mistake that we are
here, in this moment right now, together.
I placed his hand over my heart so he
could feel how strongly it was beating.
You feel that? You make it do that. When
my mom died I never thought I would be
able to breathe again, let alone have my
heart beat again, but then I met you and
you stole that last amount of breath I had
and breathed a new life into me. You are a

part of me now. This is right, please dont

question that.
Kane let out a low growl and attacked
my mouth again. I felt his hands slide
under my knees and began to pull my legs
away from his waist. I was about to
protest but he didnt drop my legs and put
me down like I thought he was going to.
He swung my legs together and cradled
me in his arms, carrying me like a husband
carries his wife over a threshold after they
have been married, out of the water.
When he made it to the shore I thought
he was going to set me on my feet again
but he kneeled with me in the tall grass
and he used his hand that was wrapped
around my back to spread his shirt out
before gently laying me back on it. His
scent that clung to his shirt engulfed me

and I knew I would remember this smell

for the rest of my life, and it would always
bring me right back here, in this moment
with him.
He lightly kissed my lips just once, then
held himself above me with one hand
using his other to caress my cheek. I need
to know you are one hundred percent sure
about this. I will never be able to forgive
myself if you are not sure.
I cupped both his cheeks in my hands. I
am.
He nodded and leaned in to kiss me, but
pulled away at the last second. Kelsey, I
dont have anything. I wasnt expecting
this.
I couldnt believe I had forgotten to
even think about protection. In the moment
of passion, all I could think about was

him. I thought for a minute. I had been on

the pill since I was sixteen to regulate my
periods. So I knew we would be safe from
pregnancies, but I knew that Kane had
slept around. His reputation had said so,
and he had told me himself.
I am on the pill so there are no worries
there, but I have to ask, have you been
checked before? You know, since you
have, um, done this before? I felt like a
bitch for blurting it out there like that, but I
had to be sure.
He nodded. I have never, ever,
touched a girl without one before, but a
few weeks after I had stopped sleeping
around I had myself checked just to be
sure and it came back clean. Youre the
first person I have been with in a while.
It made me happy to know that after he

decided he wasnt going to be sleeping

around anymore that he was willing to do
this with me. I was so worried about what
my body and I wanted that I never really
thought about the fact that I could have
been pushing Kane into something he
wasnt ready for. Kane, I know I am sure
about this, but are you? If you dont want
to, thats completely fine.
He barked out a laugh. Kelsey,he
looked down to where his underwear was
fully tentedis that sure enough for
you? He gave me his full-dimple smile
and I bit my lip and nodded. The smile
slipped from his face as his eyes zeroed in
on my mouth.
You really shouldnt bite your lip like
that. he said huskily. I cant think
straight when you do, and right now I need

to calm down and take my time with you. I

dont want to hurt you, Kelsey, in any
way, physically or mentally, but this will
hurt. He looked at me, a hint of sadness
in his expression.
I knew this was going to hurt. I had
heard stories and read books about girls
losing it for the first time, but I was going
to be going through this with Kane. I could
deal with the pain as long as I had him.
My heart fluttered at those last words and
I knew it was because those words held
more meaning than just about tonight.
I pulled my knees up around Kanes
hips where I could grab the hem of his
boxers between my toes and gave them a
little tug. Obviously they didnt come
down, but Kane took the hint and reached
down between us, pushing them down

himself before settling himself between

my legs. I lifted my hips, letting him know
I wanted him to do the same to me. He sat
back on his knees and ran his index finger
along the inside band of my panties. My
back arched and eyes fluttered. My body
was humming all over with anticipation of
what was to come.
Kane used that index finger he was
teasing me with to slowly pull my panties
down my legs. As soon as they were free
from my feet Kane covered my body with
his again, shielding me from the night
breeze. He slowly wrapped his hand
around my knee and pulled it up over his
hip. He then, ever so lightly, ran his
fingers up the outside of my thigh,
continuing up to my side. His hand
brushed against the side of my breast as he

made his way down the inside of my arm

until he got to my hand. He interlocked out
fingers and brought that hand above my
head.
We stared into each others eyes,
neither of us saying a word. I felt him
position himself at my opening and I
fought the urge to close my eyes. I didnt
want to be in the dark for this. I didnt
want to miss it so I kept them open. Kane
slowly and carefully began to push
himself inside me. Right away I could feel
the discomfort and sting from my body
experiencing something it never had
before. Gradually he inched himself
deeper and deeper until I couldnt help but
wince from the pain, causing him to
immediately stop his movement.
Are you okay? Do you want to stop?

Concern laced his every word.

I wildly shook my head back and forth.
No. I just need a second to get used to it,
is all. I tried my best to give him a
reassuring smile. After a few seconds the
overwhelming feeling passed and I
nodded for him to continue. He seemed a
bit apprehensive at first but I lifted my
hips causing him to sink just a tiny bit
deeper to let him know I was sure.
He closed his eyes and lowered his
head and began his slow push again. I held
my breath. I wasnt really in any pain; it
was just all so overwhelming. I could feel
my body stretching to accommodate him,
and even with all the discomfort, I felt at
peace.
Kane was propped on his elbows and I
could see the trembling of his arms out of

the corner of my eye. Was this

uncomfortable for him? I didnt know
what else to do so I turned my head to the
side and kissed his bicep. I didnt want
this to be uncomfortable for him. I wanted
him to feel the peace I was feeling. I gave
his arm another slow kiss and when I
turned my head back he was staring at me.
His breathing was shaky and uneven,
but he didnt say anything as he drew in a
breath and gave one last, long, final push.
My hands shot to his back and I gripped
his skin with my fingertips. He lowered
his head to my shoulder then let out his
breath. Everything around us was still. I
couldnt hear any sounds other than my
wildly beating heart and our unsteady
breathing. It seemed like hours passed
with us just lying there, not moving but I

knew that couldnt be the case.

My body had finally adjusted to him
and I was dying for him to move. Even
though my body had never experienced
this before, it was like an old memory and
it knew exactly what it wanted and how to
get it. I lifted my hips again but Kane
placed a hand on them to still them.
Now Im the one who needs a minute
to adjust, he huskily laughed. You feel
so incredible, Kelsey, and its taking all
my will power to not do what my body
wants to do. And what my body wants is
to pull back out and slam right back in.
I gaped at the open sky. As horrible as
it sounded to be slammed into, it also lit
me on fire at the thought. What was with
me? My mind and body were having an
internal tug of war and I didnt know who

to listen to anymore.
I kissed Kanes cheek to let him know I
was comfortable, that I was ready
whenever he was. He slightly pressed his
cheek harder into my kiss then began
slowly pulling back out. I felt discomfort
again but this time it was different. This
time is was discomfort about his body
leaving mine. Now that I had had him
there it felt different to be without him. It
felt lonely.
Those feelings didnt last long though
because as soon as he withdrew to the
point that I couldnt take it anymore, he
pushed right back in. It was faster and
harder than the first time but it was
nowhere near slamming like he talked
about. It was just right, just enough to
make my toes curl and a sound to tear

from my throat that I had never heard

before.
He did it again, the slow pull out and
the fast thrust in. My breathing was
becoming uneven and I was sure at any
moment I would hyperventilate from my
erratic breathing pattern. But I couldnt
stop, and I didnt want him to stop.
My hands were still on his back and I
could feel his skin becoming sticky and
then slick. He was sweating and he was
trembling. I knew he was holding back
from what he really wanted to do for my
sake, but I wanted more. I was right at that
point where I knew what was coming, but
it just wasnt enough to make me fall over
the edge yet. So out of instinct I took
Kanes earlobe into my mouth, lightly
caressing it with my tongue before giving

it one hard suck and then a bite and that

was all it took.
Kane grunted as his thrusts became
erratic, faster, and harder it was just
what I needed. I pulled my knees high up
around his hips as my orgasm rocketed
through my body. I could feel my insides
bearing down on him. Gripping him and
squeezing him because it knew that it
didnt want to let him go either, like it was
trying to hold on to Kane and keep here
there forever.
His name tore from my throat, out into
the open air and echoed throughout the
field. With one final thrust Kane threw his
head back and roared, releasing himself
inside me before his body collapsed on
top of mine.
I had already come down from my high

and I took the time to rub slow circles on

his back while he composed himself.
When his breathing had finally become
normal, he looked at me. I couldnt
contain the huge grin that was on my face,
and after seeing my smile the same huge
dimple-sinking grin that I loved so much
appeared on his face.
I started giggling for no reason. I guess I
was just so happy at that moment I didnt
know what else to do. Kane that was
that was
Unbelievable, he finished for me.
Yes. Unbelievable. I smiled and he
kissed each of my cheeks, my forehead
and then my lips. His cool lip ring
touching the heated skin of my face each
time he did.
When he stopped kissing me I just

looked at him and I was struck with a

certaintyone I wasnt ready to say to
him, but I knew in my heartthat I was
falling in love with Kane Riley. But as
happy as I was about that it also scared
the life out of me.

Kane helped me slip my dress back on.

I had to go braless and panty-less since
they were still soaking wet from our
swim. I was thankful we had taken a truck
out here tonight. I couldnt imagine how
horrible the ride home on the back of a
motorcycle would be. But after what had
just happened I wonder if I would have
really minded.
I was still flying high when Kane pulled
the truck back onto the main road. Neither
of us had spoken much but neither of us
could hide the smiles on our faces either.

We were both casting secret glances at

each other across the cab of the truck until
Kanes hand latched onto my thigh, pulling
me across the seat to sit next to him.
Thats better. He winked at me and
interlaced our fingers before bringing
them up to his lips.
So much had changed in such a short
time. A few months ago I couldnt wait to
get out of my home town, get away from
the place that held the darkest memories
that I thought would swallow me up and
drag me down, holding me in their
darkness forever. Finally away from that
place, I was learning to breathe again.
Learning to be myself again.
This would make my mom happy. She
wouldnt have wanted me to live out the
rest of my life the way I had been living

well, living probably wasnt the right

wordthe way I had been existing these
past six years. I glanced at Kane through
my lashes, my mom would have loved
him. She would have loved the tattoos and
probably even the piercing because it
showed he didnt care what others thought
of him. That he did things because he
wanted to. That he wasnt afraid of what
people thought. She wanted to be that way
she just found herself in a situation that
she couldnt get out of without there being
repercussions that she would never be
able to live with.
Sharing custody of me with my dad, her
not being able to protect me if he were to
ever try to abuse me the way he had her,
was not an option to her. So my mom
staying in an abusive relationship

protected me, in a weird way.

Kane cleared his throat, jarring me from
my thoughts. I know I said I would take
you back to the dorms, but Im not ready to
say goodbye to you yet. Its fine if you
dont want to, but would you like to spend
the night at my place? I will take you back
to the dorms first thing in the morning if
thats what you want but I just want to
hold you tonight. I want you in my bed,
with me. He glanced at me to see if I was
considering this, but, really, what was
there to consider? I was already dreading
the goodbye when he dropped me off. The
thought of spending the night in his arms
sounded like the perfect way to end this
perfect day.
Yes. I enthusiastically nodded my
head. I would love to spend the night

with you.
I smiled when I heard the engine rev a
little louder, obviously he was speeding
up a little to hurry and get us home.

We pulled into the parking lot of Shots

and Kane cut the engine. He opened his
door and held out his hand for me. I slid
across the seat, careful so that my dress
didnt ride up too high. I was, after all,
going commando at the moment. We held
hands as we made our way to the stairs
that lead to his apartment.
When we made it to the door Kane bent
down and picked something up. I then
realized it was the leftovers Emma had
sent home with him that he had asked

Landon to drop off, which reminded me I

needed to call Jessi and let her know I
wouldnt be back to the dorm tonight.
Kane let go of my hand to pull a small,
silver key from his pocket and slid it in
the lock. After a little twist he pushed
open the door and motioned for me to step
in ahead of him.
Everything was black; there was no
light at all, not even one of those little
plug-in night lights. I heard the door close
behind me then a click. The room lit up
and I turned to see Kane with his finger
still on the light switch.
Well, this is my place. He nodded
toward the open room.
I turned and took it all in. It wasnt bad.
It had an open floor plan. There was a
long bar that separated the kitchen from

the living room and I could tell the kitchen

had been recently updated. It had dark
granite countertops and sleek stainless
steel appliances. The walls were painted
a cool electric blue and was accented
with black throw rugs and vases.
I bet Emma helped him decorate. It was
too put together for a bachelor pad. The
living room had a large flat screen TV
hanging from the center of the wall and a
dark leather U-shaped couch sat across
from it. Again there were accents of burnt
orange throw pillows and a bowl of
orange and brown globes that sat in the
middle of the coffee table in front of the
couch. Now I was certain Emma had her
way with decorating. What guy would
think to buy that?
I stood there, not really sure what to do

next. I had never spent the night with a guy

before so I didnt know protocol on these
sort of things. Did I just go sit on the
couch and get comfortable? Did I wait for
him to offer me a seat? Since I didnt
know, I just stood there like a huge idiot.
Kane walked around me and into the
kitchen. He began pulling the left overs
out of the bag and placing them in the
fridge. If youre hungry I can heat some
of this up for you. He peeked around the
fridge door at me. I shook my head no and
continued to stand there taking in the rest
of the apartment.
Directly in front of me I could see a
very small hall and what looked like three
closed doors. I guess thats where the
bedroom and bathroom were. Speaking of
bathrooms, I really needed to pee.

Clearing my throat I asked, Can I use

your bathroom? Well, that came out a
little dumber than I thought. Of course I
could use his bathroom. If was going to be
staying here all night, Im pretty sure I
would have to use it sometime throughout
the next few hours.
Kane didnt seem to notice the stupidity
in my question. He only came around the
bar and took my hand. Its right over
here. Hey, do you want to take a shower?
Wash some of that pond water off? You
can wear my clothes and I will throw
yours in the wash.
A shower actually sounded like heaven
right now so I nodded.
Kane showed me where the bathroom
was and I took one look in the mirror and
just about face palmed. My hair was a

mess! It was actually sticking up on the

left side like I had stuck my finger in a
light socket. How could I not notice that
my hair looked this bad? How could Kane
not laugh every time he looked at me? I
was trying to get my fingers through my
unruly hair when Kane came back into the
bathroom with some folded clothes in his
hands.
These will probably swallow you, but
at least they are clean. I will have your
clothes washed in no time though.
I smiled and took the soft cotton shirt
and boxers from his hands. Thank you.
Kane smiled and lightly flicked his lip
ring with his tongue. The sight of that one
simple move had my belly fluttering and I
quickly turned to set the clothes down on
the sink.

Well, I will let you get to it then. Ill

be right in the living room if you need
anything. All the soaps and shampoos are
in there.
I turned back around to look at him and
could see a sly smile on his face. Did he
know what the lip ring did to me? Was he
doing it on purpose? I had no time to ask
not that I was sure I wouldbefore he
stepped back out into the hallway, closing
the door behind him.
I sat down on the closed toilet lid and
tried to compose myself. It was a good
thing he left when he did because had he
still been playing with that lip ring when I
turned back around, I probably would
have drug him in the shower with me.
I couldnt believe I was spending the
night and that I would also be spending the

night in his arms. Speaking of spending the

night, I really needed to call Jessi. I got up
and walked over the countertop where I
had laid my cell. It had been on silent and
the screen was already lit up with two
texts. The first from Jessi.
Trying to wait up for you! Where the
hell are you?! I want to know what
happened. Text me back bitch!
The next one was a bit of a surprise. It
was from Nate.
Still on for meeting to work on the
project in the morning? Let me know,
Ill bring coffee.
Shit. I had forgotten all about meting up
with Nate tomorrow. That meant Kane
would have to take me back to school a
little earlier then I thought. I tapped out a
quick response to Nate letting him know

we were still on and that he could bring

me whatever he was having. I got an
almost immediate response back from him
saying he would be at the library at nine.
I decided to call Jessi instead of texting
her. There was so much I wanted to tell
her and I didnt think my fingers would
keep up. After one ring, she picked up.
Spill it, hooker! Where the hell are
you?! You are never out later than me.
I took a deep breath. Im at Kanes. I
wont be coming back tonight so you dont
have to wait up.
The high-pitched squeal she let out had
me holding the phone away from my ear. It
was so loud I wasnt sure that Kane didnt
hear it all the way in the living room.
I knew it! Youre going to have sex
arent you?!

I bit my lip and ran my finger back and

forth across the counter top. About that,
I paused then looked up at myself in the
mirror. I didnt look any different did I? I
sure felt different, but I still looked like
me but I wasnt a virgin anymore. I felt
like there should be some neon sign above
my head flashing she swiped her v-card,
folks! But there was no sign, just me. Just
Kelsey, but I knew I was different. That
fact was evident from the dull ache I still
had between my legs. The ache that was
the reminder that Kane had been there.
We kind of already did
There was silence on her end before
another squeal. Oh my God! Kelsey!
How could you not tell me right after it
happened? Where did it happen? When?!
How was it?! I bet it was good. Kane

looks like he would be good. Tell me,

does he have piercings anywhere else?
My cheeks felt like they had been lit on
fire, Jessi! No he doesnt have any more
piercings! I cant believe you would ask
me that! I dont think it was the question
that had really embarrassed me, it was the
fact that I was kind of turned on thinking
about Kane having more piercings and
wondering if he would ever consider it.
Stop! I needed to stop thinking right now.
Look, I cant go into details with you
right now. I am getting ready to hop in the
shower. I heard her inhale and I knew the
question that was getting ready to pop out
of her mouth. Alone, Jessi. Before you
even ask. I am taking a shower alone.
Well thats just boring, she said.
You know you could conserve water and

shower together? she giggled. She knew

she was killing me.
I rolled my eyes even though she
couldnt see. I just wanted to let you
know not to wait up for me. I am supposed
to meet Nate at nine to go over the group
project. You sure you cant make it?
Nope, sure cant. You crazy kids have
fun with that. Ill just play catch up.
Like always?
Dont you start with me, Kelsey Rien.
Just because you are a woman now
doesnt mean you are the boss of me, she
giggled again and I huffed. I knew later
she was going to want every single detail
about what had happened tonight, and
because she was my best friend, I would
tell her. Okay, maybe I wouldnt tell her
everything. It was special. I wanted to

keep it something that was just between

Kane and me, but I would give her enough
to pacify her.
Just know that it was special and that
he made me feel comfortable. He was
tender and great and it was everything I
could have hoped for. I smiled at the
memory of tonight.
Jessi let out a deep sigh, Im so happy
for you, Kelsey. I bet it was romantic and
Im glad it was special for you. You
deserve good memories like that. This is
why she was my best friend. Even though
we had never spoken about making new
memories to cancel out the old ones, she
understood exactly what I was doing.
I love you, Jess. I will see you
tomorrow.
Love you too, Kels. And just think, if it

was good the first time when its

supposed to be awkward and
uncomfortable, just imagine how its going
to be the next time, she laughed.
Bye, Jessi. I shook my head at my
friend.
Later, babe. She replied and I hit end.
Could she be right? Could it get better
than what it had been? This time was
pretty great, when it had not been painful.
Maybe she was right, maybe the next time
would be even better. I felt a heat rise up
from my chest and I knew I needed to get
in the showera cold one at thatand
stop thinking about a next time. Who even
knew if there would be a next time?

When I finally emerged from the

bathroom, Kane was sitting on his couch
watching his huge TV. I quietly walked to
the end of the couch and stood. He must
have heard me anyway because he picked
up the remote, pointed it at the TV and
turned it off. He leaned forward placing
the remote on the table, then stood and
made his way to me. I swear it had
probably been twenty minutes since I had
seen him last, but it felt like it had been an
eternity because all I wanted to do was
throw myself at him and kiss him hard.
Hi, he said as he stood in front of me.
I looked up at him through my lashes
and bit the corner of my lip out of nervous
habit. He smiled and used his thumb to
pull my lip free from my teeth. You
really have to stop doing that. He smiled,

then leaned in to kiss me.

The kiss started out soft and sweet, but
quickly grew as I wrapped both arms
around his neck and ran my hands over his
short hair. I broke from the kiss, needing
some air, or so I thought. But the lightheadedness I was feeling had nothing to
do with lack of oxygen, it was all simply
due to Kane and what he did to me. With
his mouth now free from mine, he began
kissing along my jawbone up to my ear.
You should really just wear my
clothes all the time. He seductively
breathed in my ear and my body
automatically responded. I tightened my
arms around his neck and he let out a
throaty laugh. You call Jessi and tell her
you werent coming back tonight? he
asked.

I nodded because honestly I didnt think

I could form any words at the moment, but
bringing up my phone call with Jessi also
reminded me that I needed to tell him I had
to be at the library at nine. But when he
began kissing my neck, I lost that thought
and could only focus on his lips and what
they were doing to me.
Kane slid his hands around my waist,
pausing to grip my backside before sliding
down to hook his hands under my knees.
He lifted me off the ground and I wrapped
my legs around his waist. I didnt realize
we were moving until I heard the click of
a door being opened. At first I thought
someone had come in his front door, but
when I opened my eyes I found myself in a
different room. I quickly took in my
surroundings. I couldnt see much because

the light was off, but Kane had left the

door open so the light from the hall
filtered in enough for me to get a feel for
the space.
All the furniture looked dark. Either it
was dark wood or it was black, I couldnt
tell for sure with the little light I had.
Beside the bed was a small night stand
and there were two picture frames sitting
atop it. There was a large bed in the
middle of the wall and a chest at the foot
of the bed. Just your standard room. I
guess he didnt let Emma get ahold of this
space.
Kane walked over to the bed and gently
laid me down and all thoughts of the room
went out the window. He laid me on his
pillows and his scent engulfed me. I could
get used to this. Being able to fall asleep

smelling Kane.
He laid down beside me and his mouth
found mine again. He was playfully
kissing me, giving my lips tiny little
teasing licks or bites, never fully kissing
me the way I wanted. Finally fed up with
his teasing, I grabbed the back of his neck
and held him still while I took control. I
could feel him laughing around my kiss but
he finally gave in and kissed me how I
wanted to be kissed.
We laid there kissing for what seemed
like hours. Im surprised the kissing didnt
lead to more considering what we had just
done a few hours ago, but to be honest, I
didnt know if I would be able to handle
more so soon. I was still a little sore.
Kane pulled away from me and stopped
me when I leaned back in for more.

As much as I hate to stop doing what

we are doing, I still have to take a
shower. He smiled.
I couldnt help the pout face I gave him.
Kissing Kane was just too enjoyable for
me to be okay with stopping. He tucked a
strand of my now-damp hair behind my
ear and kissed my forehead.
I will back in a few minutes. I gave
him a look letting him know I would rather
him just stay in bed with me, but he started
to get up anyway. I will hurry. I
promise. He smiled as he excited the
room.
I sighed and rolled to my side, facing
the only window in the room. They must
have been slightly cracked because a soft
white glow was just barely showing
through. I touched my lips and smiled.

Yep, they would definitely be swollen the

rest of the night and maybe even
tomorrow. Just another reminder I would
have of Kane.
I let out a long yawn. I guess now that
all the excitement had died down and all
the endorphins I had being running high on
had ceased, my body was finally starting
to feel how tired I was. I could still hear
the shower running but I thought I would
just close my eyes for a little while. Just
rest them for a minute. I would hear when
he came back in the room and it would
wake me up anyway. Only that didnt
happen. Once I closed my eyes exhaustion
took over and it felt like I had fifty pound
weights holding them closed.
I barely recall being lifted and then slid
under the covers. I also faintly

remembered Kane sliding in behind me

and wrapping me up in his arms, but the
last part I couldnt be certain if it had
really happened or if it was a dream. But
if it was a dream, it was one I hoped I
remembered tomorrow because I didnt
want to forget the feel of Kanes lips on
the back of my head as he kissed me, and
the way his breath felt on my ear as he
whispered goodnight.
But out of all of that I didnt want to
forget what he said after that. I never
thought I would have someone like you in
my life, Kelsey. Maybe there was a reason
for me waking up and becoming a better
person. Maybe it was because all along I
was meant to find you and the person I
was before wasnt worthy of having you.
But I swear, now that I have you, Im

never going to let you go.

His words echoed through my head
before the blackness of sleep engulfed me
and I drifted off.

I went to stretch my body and was

immediately aware that I was not alone in
my bed. Better yet, I was not alone in
someone elses bed.
The memories of yesterday and last
night came rushing back to me and I
smiled. I turned onto my back, I could feel
Kanes heavy arm draped across my torso.
I slowly ran my fingers along some of the
tattoos on his forearm. Beautiful. Each and
every one of them just beautiful.
When I had traced and fully memorized
most of Kanes tattoos, I took a good look

at his face. He was soundly sleeping and

had a peaceful look on his face. His long
lashes rested on his cheeks. The sun was
shining through the tiny cracks in the
window blinds and reflecting off his lip
ring.
You know, I could say that its really
creepy for you to be watching me sleep.
His eyes slowly opened to look at me. I
was a little embarrassed I was caught.
But youre so damn cute I dont think you
could make anything really creepy. He
smiled and I could see the dimple in his
right cheek sink in.
How long have you been lying there
awake? I asked.
Since you started tracing patterns on
my forearm, which I might add is an
excellent way to be woken up. Way better

than my annoying-ass alarm clock. I may

just have to keep you around, he said as
he leaned in to nuzzle my neck.
Im sorry I crashed on you last night. I
guess I was more tired than I thought. I
sighed as he ran his nose up the side of my
neck. If he thought me tracing his tattoos
was a great way to wake up, he had no
idea how much better this was.
When he finally reached my ear he
lightly kissed my lobe. Why dont we
stay here, just like this, all day?
Mmm, that sounds like an amazing
plan. I wrapped my arms around his neck
and he kissed along my jaw til his lips
finally connected with mine. It was only a
brief kiss before I realized I had not
brushed my teeth yet this morning and
jerked away, immediately covering my

mouth with my hand.

Kane chuckled. What are you doing?
he asked as he held himself above me on
his elbows.
I havent brushed my teeth yet. I have
morning breath, I said with my hand still
shielding him from any type of odor that
may or may not come from my mouth.
You tasted fine to me, he said,
leaning back in and I automatically sank
my head further into the pillow to get
away from his attempt to kiss me.
Kane, really. Do you have an extra
toothbrush I can borrow? I asked as I
slinked my way out from under him to the
edge of the mattress.
He huffed and rolled to his side to give
me the room I needed to stand. In the
bathroom. Top drawer. There should be a

couple in there. Maw stocked it in case I

ever had guests, but I have never had
anyone stay the whole night so they never
got used.
No one has stayed the whole night
before? But I thought I stopped. I
shouldnt have opened my mouth. I could
see the expression on Kanes face darken
before he scooted to sit on the edge of the
bed.
He took my hands and pulled me
between his knees. Yes, as you know I
have had girls over before, and as you
also know I am not proud of my past.
What I did with those girls was satisfy my
needs and then send them on their way.
Letting them stay the night would have
complicated things and I didnt want
complicated. I wanted what I wanted and

nothing more. You are the only person I

have ever let spend the night. The only
person I have held in my arms all night.
You, Kelsey only you.
While the thought of him being with
another girl tore me apart, and knowing
that he was so cruel as to kick them out
after getting what he wanted, horrified me.
The fact that I could be his first in
anything sent a tiny thrill through me. He
would be my first of many things. I wanted
him to at least have that with me too.
I leaned down and kissed his cheek
still aware of my morning breath, I wasnt
going for his lips right now.
I know youre not like that anymore,
Kane. While I dont approve of the person
you used to be, I cant change the past.
Lord knows I would if I could. The only

thing to do is move forward, and if you

want, I would love for you to do so with
me.
He gave me a slight smile. I really
dont deserve you, Kelsey Rien.
Yes, you do. I smiled as I turned to
leave the room to finally take care of this
morning breath problem.
When I came back from the bathroom I
was more than ready to pick right back up
where we left off, but Kane was still
sitting in the same position I had left him
in. His head was slightly bent and he was
looking at something in his hand. When I
rounded the corner, I could see that it was
my cell phone he was holding.
He looked at me with a blank
expression, at first I felt my heart drop to
my stomach. Did Jessi texted me? Is

something wrong with her? Whats

wrong? I blurted out.
Your phone lit up with a text. Nate
wants to know if you are still on for this
morning. His tone was so flat. I couldnt
understand what had made his mood
change so quickly.
I cant believe I forgot about that!
What time is it? I bet I am late, I
rambled. I hoped it wasnt really late and
that he hadnt been waiting on me for long.
I cant believe I had totally forgotten like
that. Okay maybe I could believe it. When
I was around Kane he did have a tendency
to consume my every thought.
Kane sat there still as a statue as I ran
around the room looking for my clothes.
Then I remembered he washed them for
me. Do you think my clothes are dry?

His eyes finally met mine and I could

see a storm swirling in that beautiful gray.
It made me stop dead in my tracks.
Whats wrong? I asked.
Is there anything you want to tell me?
I thought for a second. No? I was
supposed to meet Nate to go over this
project we are working on in class at nine
this morning, and I completely blanked.
I could see his shoulders slump, then he
stood from the bed and made his way
toward me. He held out my phone and I
took it. He was acting so strange.
Im an ass.
I gave him a puzzled look, Okay?
First of all, I shouldnt have looked at
your phone. Second, I should not have
jumped to the conclusion I did when I read
that text.

Which was?
That you were leaving here to go
spend time with Nate. He hung his head
for a second then brought his beautiful
gray eyes back up to mine.
I smiled at him and rested my hand
against his cheek. Kane, believe me
when I say this. From the second I met
you, you were the only guy I have ever
thought about as more than a friend. And
after last night I hope that you might feel
that way too? I didnt want to jump the
gun and say I was his girlfriend. I wanted
to be though. I wanted that so badly but I
wouldnt push him into it.
He lightly grabbed my cheeks and
kissed me. He pulled away but still
cradled my face in his hands. Kelsey,
after last night I would consider you

nothing else but mine.

I looked at him. Do you mean...
I mean you are mine now. You are my
girlfriend, Kelsey. I dont want anyone but
you and I hope you dont want anyone
other than me.
Girlfriend. He had finally said it. I was
Kane Rileys girlfriend. I smiled so big I
thought my jaw was going to lock in place
and wrapped my arms around Kanes
neck. He lifted me off the ground where
my legs were just dangling in the air and
kissed me so hard the rest of the world
faded away.
After some coaxing, I finally talked
Kane into taking me to the library. He was
more than willing to call off work and just
keep me locked away in his apartment all
day, but I needed to be finishing up this

project and he couldnt just be flaking on

work like that because of me.
I texted Nate the minute I got in the
truck to let him know I was coming and
apologized to him for being as late as I
was. In the beginning I thought working
with a boy would be hard, that he would
be the flake, but nope that would be me. I
was so embarrassed.
Kane pulled his truck up in front of the
library and I could see Nate leaning
against one of the low walls outside. He
glanced up when he noticed the truck and I
gave him a quick wave through the
windshield that he returned with a stiff
nod.
WellI turned to KaneI guess I
will talk to you later? I wasnt sure what
time he would be off work tonight and I

needed to study for a test I would have the

next day. So my plans after working with
Nate included me in my dorm, in sweats
with a text book in my lap, and I wasnt
going to look up until I memorized and
knew that book by heart.
I will text you when I get off tonight. It
will probably be pretty late though. Im
going to help them get things stocked back
up and cleaned after the rush they had last
night.
I smiled and kissed his lips. I will
wait up for you. I want to be able to tell
you good night.
I started to slide across the seat to get
out, but Kane grabbed my hand and pulled
me back for a long deep kiss. He took his
time thoroughly kissing the outside of my
mouth before sliding his tongue across my

lips in a teasing manor, as if to see what I

would do.
Like always when with Kane, my body
took over and I had no control anymore. I
took over the kiss, teasing him the way he
had been teasing me, only I couldnt help
but press my body as close to him as I
could get without actually climbing on his
lap right there in the cab of the truck in
front of the library. Library! Oh shit! We
are in public!
I quickly pulled away from Kane before
things got any more out of hand. The low
growl that came from his chest when I put
a little distance between us did nothing to
help with my internal battle of staying in
the truck and begging him to just take me
back to his apartment and never let me
leave. The look in his eyes at that moment

told me he would be more than willing to

take me up on that plan. All I had to do
was say the words, but I had things to do
and he needed to get to work. So I used
what willpower I had left to scurry all the
way to the other side of the cab and press
myself against the door.
I really need to go, I said, but even I
could hear the question in my tone. He
caught it too because he raked his teeth
along his bottom lip, and I think I might
have let out a moan when he did so.
I can promise you, Kelsey, that if you
left with me right now, you wouldnt
regret it. His eyes were roaming my body
and I knew he was imaging just what he
could do to make me change my mind.
I quickly felt behind me for the door
handle and popped it open just as he was

leaning in for another kiss that I was sure

would seal the deal in me ditching Nate
and leaving with Kane. I slammed the
door shut and giggled at him through the
open window.
Not fair, he growled.
Whats not fair is you trying to lead me
astray with temptation. I winked at him.
Now get out of here and go to work. I
have to get some serious work done on
this project if we are going to finish on
time. Maybe if I work really hard we
might finish early and then I will have all
kinds of free time for other things. I
lowered my voice for the last part.
Hopefully it came out as seductively as I
meant for it too.
The fact the he stared at me for a
second, gave that lip ring a flip, then

threw himself back against the seat was

my confirmation that it did and I laughed.
Look I really, really need to go now.
Be safe on your drive back, and
remember, I will be waiting up on that text
from you.
He nodded and then smiled. Go learn
things. I will text you later, beautiful.
My heart did a little flutter when he
said beautiful but I managed to drag my
eyes away from his and turn to head up the
steps to where Nate was still waiting. I
could hear the truck pull away, but I didnt
turn to watch. I was already feeling sad
enough about not being near him. Seeing
him pull away would not help with that.
I finally topped the stairs and stood in
front of Nate. Morning! Again, Im so
sorry you had to wait on me like this. I am

usually so good about being on time and

stuff. There was just a lot going on
yesterday and it just slipped my mind. I
promise it will never happen again. I
really hoped I could keep that promise. I
would just have to make sure if we had a
group session I needed to stay far away
from Kane and his distractions.
Nate took a second before he looked up
at me. He was plucking a piece of what I
thought was invisible lint on his dark
designer jeans. So, what? Are you and
Kane officially a thing now? I couldnt
miss the annoyance in his tone, but I
wasnt sure where it was coming from.
Mhmm. Just since this morning
actually. I smiled. Even his weird mood
couldnt bring me down about the fact that
Kane and I were a couple now.

He huffed and pushed himself off the

wall he had been leaning on. There were
two cups sitting beside him. He reached
for one and handed it to me. Heres your
coffee. I cant guarantee its still warm
though.
I may be high on my newfound
relationship status, but I could still feel the
guilt over being so late today. I reached
out to catch his arm before he headed
toward the door to the library.
I am truly sorry I am late, Nate. I
understand completely why you are
pissed.
He slowly turned and gave me a look I
couldnt even read. Kelsey, Im not
pissed about you being late. Shit happens.
I understand that. He stopped and took a
deep breath. Look, I know youre a big

girl and youre going to do what you want

to, but I cant stand back and not at least
warn you not to get in too deep with Kane.
I know he can be a smooth talker, believe
me, I have seen him in action numerous
times when he lived with the frat. I dont
know what it is about you, Kelsey, but I
dont want to see you hurt in the end. It has
never bothered me to watch Kane use girls
before you. But with you I cant keep
quiet. I just had to let you know.
It was obvious that no one knew Kane
the way I did. He wasnt that person
anymore, but once you set a reputation like
that for yourself, its hard to get away
from it. I had nothing to do with the one I
had back home but it still followed me
wherever I went, so I knew some of what
Kane went through.

I will be fine, Nate. Honestly, the

Kane I know and the one you know are
two completely different people.
That may be true, but who is the real
one? he sighed and gently tugged his arm
free from my hold, continuing on into the
library.
I stood there for a few seconds
pondering what he had just said. My Kane
was the real one. I was just sure of it. Sure
I didnt have a lot of experience in the
dating scene, but I hoped I would at least
know when I was getting played. Plus,
everything in me screamed it was right
when I was with Kane. Wouldnt there be
some tiny hint of doubt otherwise?
I shook those thoughts from my head. I
was in a good place now. I was making
new friends, I had a hot-ass boyfriend

who had an amazing family, and school

was going really well for me. Dammit
things were good now. I was finally living
and breathing again. Not walking around
like a zombie just trying to make it day by
day. This is how it was supposed to be but
didnt Sir Isaac Newton himself say,
What goes up must come down?
Hopefully that was just a reference to
gravity and not my life in general.

Nate and I had worked most of the

morning on our project, only stopping for
a thirty-minute lunch break, then getting
right back to it. He never brought up Kane
again and I was glad. His whole mood had
changed from what it was this morning,
and by the time we said goodbye he was
back to the fun carefree Nate I had come
to know.
I left the library early that afternoon and
headed back to the dorms. I still had that
other test to study for.
As I was waiting for the elevator, I

could hear a few girls laughing in the

lounge area around the corner from the
elevator bays.
Hes so hot, right? Those tats and that
lip piercing? Gah, I just want to jump him
every time I see him at Shots
Their discussion caught my attention
and I couldnt help but edge closer to the
corner so I could hear their conversation
better. Shots? Tats? Lip piercing? I
knew there was a chance they could be
talking about someone else but those
chances were slim. They were talking
about my Kane.
Didnt he blow you off though, Katie?
I mean, ever since school started I havent
seen him around as much, and when I do
see him he is either with Landon or that
skinny girl with the long, brown hair. I

think shes a freshman.

I started fiddling with the charms on my
bracelet. Now they were talking about me.
Yeah, I have seen him with her too.
Shes actually pretty. Another voice said.
Please. She is so not pretty, and Kane
is just checking out the new meat on
campus, like he always does. You know
how our relationship works.
Relationship?
I wouldnt call what you and Kane
have a relationship, Katie. One of the
other girls snickered and I found the urge
to fist pump. The only relationship Kane
was in was with me.
Oh, really? Who does he always end
up coming back to when hes bored with
the others? Me, thats who. He goes out
and has his fun but he always ends up

coming right back to me in the end. I just

look at it this way, its obvious Kane and I
will end up together. Hes just being a
typical male and trying to sow all the wild
oats he can before he settles down. And
when I say before he settles down, I
obviously mean before he settles down
with me. She gave a girly giggle and the
others followed suit I wanted to gag.
How can this chick possibly think she
is in any type of relationship with Kane?
Either she is delusional or just flat out
crazy.
The elevator dinged and the doors
opened. I quickly hopped on it, I wanted
to be away from their convo before I did
something stupid like march in there and
set them straight like a crazy person.
I finally made it to my room and threw

my things on my desk with more force than

I had intended.
Katie. Why did that name sound so
familiar? I didnt know that many people
around campus yet, but I didnt think I had
met a Katie yet. Then it hit me. She was
the girl who practically dry humped Kane
that first night at Shots.
I was trying to remember exactly how
that night went. Did he really not seem
interested in her? Or was it all just a front
because he was talking to me? He did rush
off that night. Maybe he did meet up with
her later? I needed to stop this now. What
was wrong with me? I trusted Kane, didnt
I? I needed to just stop thinking about this
right now. It would eat me alive if I
didnt.
I found the text book I needed to be

studying and threw myself on my bed. I

cant believe I was letting what those girls
where talking about get to me like this. I
needed to trust my gut on this and my gut
right now was telling me that I was being
paranoid. It was obvious that Kane had
never had an actual girlfriend before me,
or else those girls would have talked
about that. Why would he ask me to be his
girlfriend when he had never worried
about asking anyone else?
I sighed. There, that was better. Just had
a moment in crazy-town. I was Kanes
girlfriend. He had chosen me out of all
those other girls. That was something I
needed to hold on to when all those other
doubts crept into my head.

I was lost in my textbook, actually

feeling the words sink into my brainI
was going to ace this test tomorrow. I was
sure of itwhen my cell alerted me of a
text.
I smiled when I saw Kanes name on
the screen.
Kane: I miss you.
I missed him too. Had it really only
been this morning since I last saw him? I
looked up at my alarm clock at the time. It
was already ten? Wow, I had been
studying for six hours straight. No wonder
I was feeling so confident about
tomorrows test.
I rubbed my face with my palms, now
feeling the burn in my eyes from all the
studying I had been doing. I picked up my
phone to text Kane back.

I miss you too. Did you have a good

day?
I closed my book and set it on my desk.
I think I had done enough studying tonight.
I was pulling my hair up to go wash my
face when he texted me back.
Kane: I was without you, so no. My
day has not been good. Did you learn
anything new today?
Boy did I ever. But I was sure he
wasnt referring to the gossip I had
overheard.
I learned enough. Its a good thing
you texted me when you did or I
probably wouldnt have gotten any sleep
tonight. I have been studying the past
six hours and didnt notice.
I could see he was typing out his

response, so I rushed off to the bathroom

to wash my face before he finished. I was
drying my face when I heard my phone
chime twice from the other room.
The first was from Jessi letting me
know she would be home shortly and
asking if I wanted her to grab me
something to eat. Considering the fact that
I hadnt eaten since lunch with Nate, I told
her swing by a fast food place and get me
something, then I opened Kanes text.
Kane:Overachiever. ;) Im just
finishing up here then Im headed up
stairs. It would be nice if you were up
there waiting on me. I dont know how
Im going to sleep tonight after sleeping
with you in my arms last night.
He was right. After spending the night
in his arms, sleeping alone in my bed just

didnt sound comfortable at all. I didnt

want to be one of those girl that got a
boyfriend and spent every waking minute
together but I did miss him and wanted to
be near him. I guess I understood now
how couples could seclude themselves
like that.
Dont remind me. My bed is not as
comfortable as yours anyway. ;)
Kane: I could swing by and steal you
away.
Jessi is on her way back and she is
bringing me some food. I guess Im
going to eat and try to get some sleep.
See you in the morning?
I played with the charms on my bracelet
while waiting for him to respond. I had
noticed a tiny crack in one of the links the
other day that I would need to get fixed as

soon as possible. I would hate for

something to happen and it break.
My phone lit up again.
Kane: I will probably be waiting for
you when you wake up. Cause as soon
as I see day light Im coming to kiss
those beautiful lips.
Again his use of the word beautiful
made my heart flutter.
Promise?
Kane: Promise. Goodnight, baby.
Goodnight. <3
I clutched my phone to my chest for the
next couple minutes. I couldnt stop
smiling at the fact that he had called me
baby. No one had ever called me baby
before. Well, beside my mom, but
obviously coming from Kane it held
whole new meaning.

I was still holding my phone and

smiling like an idiot when Jessi walked
through the door. I immediately smelled
the food and sat straight up. My stomach
started growling and I was ready to tear
into the bags she was holding.
She held out one of the bags to me but
jerked it back last minute before I could
grab it.
Hey! Give me that, Jessi! Im hungry!
I whined like a baby but I really had not
realized how hungry I was until she
walked in with that food.
Oh you are, huh? Then I bet you would
be willing to do just about anything for
this food, right? Like maybe even tell me
all the juicy details about last night? She
finished with a sly smile.
Shit. I should have known.

I crossed my arms over my chest. You

are an evil little person. You know that?
She giggled and fanned the smell of the
food toward me. I know. Spill.
I sighed, Jessi, its kind of private you
know.
Um, hello?! I am your best friend. I
know every dirty secret about you. This is
no different. Plus, I told you all about my
first time!
I didnt ask you to! Actually, I am
pretty sure I tried to get you to shut up
numerous times. I never could look at Paul
the same after that day. I shivered at her
very detailed description of her first time.
Come on, Kelsey. You know you are
dying to tell me. She pouted.
Fine! I will tell you some parts but Im
not going into details, Jess. There are just

some things that are sacred and should be

just for Kane and I. Got it?
Got it. Now how was it? Was it
romantic? Did he have it planned out?
I rolled my eyes. She asked me to tell
her, then she bombards me with questions.
Yes, it was romantic, and, no, he didnt
have it planned out. It sort of just
happened. ActuallyI hung my head and
fiddled with a puppy charm on my
bracelet. I had wanted a dog so bad but
my dad would have never allowed it, so
the charm was my moms way of still
giving me a puppyit was my idea. I
kind of suggested we do it.
Jessi was quiet and I finally drug my
eyes up to hers. She was staring at me
with her mouth hung open. Shut. Up!
Kelsey, you did?! I would have never

guessed it was your idea to get your freak

on.
I pushed her shoulder hard. Oh, hush!
We were in the water, messing around
Hold up! You were in water? Damn
are you sure he didnt have this planned?
She winked.
No, Jess, he didnt. It just felt right. I
shrugged and went back to plucking at my
charms.
Thats beautiful, Kelsey. Im glad it
was your decision and not something you
were pressured into doing.
He would never pressure me, Jess.
Thats not what I meant. She placed
her hand on mine. I am just saying that I
am glad you knew you wanted to share
this with him. That you made this
decision. So many girls do it because they

fell they need to do it to either keep their

boyfriendlike I didor because they
just want to get it over with. I know you,
and I know that if you decided to do this
that its because you have some strong
feelings for him. Am I right?
I nodded.
She hugged me. I am really happy for
you, Kelsey. It makes me happy to see
some of the old you coming back.
Sometimes I thought I had lost her
forever.
She has always been here, Jessi. Just
hiding I guess.
She pulled back and smiled at me.
Now. You got what you wanted. Give
me my food. I yanked the bag from her
grasp before she knew what was coming.
No fair, Kelsey! That wasnt enough

and you know it!

I smiled as I crammed my mouth full of
fries. Too bad. I mumbled around the
food.
Jessi got up and stormed off to the
bathroom and my smile grew bigger.
Dont pout, Jess. Its not lady like, I
yelled to her and she popped her head out
of the bathroom with her toothbrush in
hand.
You know what else isnt lady like?
Talking with your mouth full! she yelled
back at me as I crammed more fries in my
mouth.
I had just about finished all my food by
the time she came back in the room. She
climbed in her bed and pulled the covers
over her.
One of these days, Kelsey, you will

tell me all about it. One of these days,

she said as she yawned and rolled over.
Dont hold your breath best friend, I
replied as I wadded up my trash and
tossed it across the room, making it into
the trashcan.
Night. I told her as I wiggled and
tried to get comfortable in my bed, but
there just wasnt any use. The only way I
was going to get comfortable was to have
a nice, warm set of tattooed arms wrapped
around me.

There was a soft pecking sound that

woke me up the next morning. I looked
over at Jessi to see she was still sound
asleep, but the pecking noise continued.
Finally realizing it was coming from the
door; I dragged my body from my bed and
cracked it open just enough to see what
was making the annoying sound. I was
pleasantly surprised that the annoyingness
was coming from my boyfriend.
I pulled the door open the rest of the
way and rested my head against it. Can I
help you? I said around a yawn but still

smiled at him. How could I not? He was

so dang cute.
Told you I would be over here first
thing. I couldnt sleep without you. He
gave me a full dimple smile. I couldnt
wait any longer so I came on over. Its
actually still pretty early. You wanna see
if we can catch a few more hours of sleep
before class?
I hadnt really slept well either. The
only reason I had slept what little bit I did
was because exhaustion had finally taken
over. I couldnt think of anything I wanted
more at the moment then to be able to
sleep in Kanes arms again, so I gave him
a nod. He instantly scooped me up in his
arms and carried me to my bed, with me
giggling the entire way.
He threw us down onto the bed,

wrapped me up in his arms and buried his

face in the crook of my neck. This is
more like it, he sighed and I lightly ran
my fingers up and down his arm.
It didnt take long before I heard his
breathing become slow and steady and I
knew he was asleep. I took a moment just
to let everything that had happened over
the last few weeks sink in.
I had started over fresh. Away from that
horrible place, and that town, and
everyone in it. I had memorialized my
mom with a tattoo I never thought I would
have gotten. I was slowly starting to find
my way back to happiness and the living
again. I had met new, amazing people to
fill my life with. And I had a boyfriend I
was falling in love with. I contentedly
sighed and I drifted off to sleep. Happy.

My alarm went off and I stretched my

arm out to silence it before it woke Kane
up. After rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I
looked over to see Jessi sitting on her bed,
rubbing lotion on her arms, staring at Kane
and me.
What? I hissed in a hushed tone.
She shrugged. Nothing. You two just
look cozy. When did he sneak in here?
She nodded toward Kane.
I shrugged the best I could because
Kanes head was on my shoulder and his
arm and leg were draped across my body.
Any movement was difficult. I dont
know. Just a few hours ago. He couldnt
sleep so he came over. I then noticed that
Jessi was actually up and ready before

me. Wow, how long have you been up?

She got up from her bed and walked
over to her desk where she kept all her
jewelry. Oh, not too long. When your
alarm went off and you didnt wake up to
turn it off, it woke me up so I turned it off
for you. She smiled. Plus you two
looked so cute I didnt want to disturb
you. She shrugged as she put on her
earrings.
I finally glanced at the time on my alarm
clock and saw that it was thirty minutes
later than I normally woke up and I shot
straight up in a panic. Kane grunted at my
abruptness and then sat up himself.
What is it? Whats wrong? he asked,
looking wildly around the room.
I threw the covers off my body and they
ended up flying over Kanes head. I

glanced back and threw a sorry his way

before grabbing some clothes from my
closet and rushing to the bathroom to
throw them on. I couldnt be late for my
first class. I hadnt done all that studying
for nothing.
When I came back out of the bathroom,
Jessi was gone and Kane was still sitting
on my bed, but he at least looked fully
awake and ready to go.
Sorry about waking you up like that.
Jessi turned my alarm off and I have a
huge test this morning so I cant be late. I
said as I threw on some shoes. Im going
t o kill her! I jerked my hair back in a
ponytail. I really was going to lay into her
when I saw her again. What was she
thinking?!
Kelsey, its okay. You still have plenty

of time. Kane said as he stood and

stretched his arms above his head, his
shirt riding up just enough for me to see
the lower part of his toned stomach and I
had to turn my head so that I wouldnt get
distracted enough to decide to just skip
class and lock myself away in here with
him for the rest of the day.
When I finally had my hair out of the
way, I grabbed my bag from my desk and
started cramming things in. I went to hoist
it on my shoulder, but Kane took it from
me at the last second. I got it. Lets get
you to that test before you have an
aneurysm. He kissed my forehead and I
swatted him on the arm, but I didnt argue
with him since he was kind of right.
While we were waiting for the
elevators, Kane brought our interlaced

hands to his mouth and kissed my

knuckles. I smiled at him, then rested my
head on his shoulder. I could get used to
this.
Well, look who it is, a voice cooed
from behind us, and I didnt have to turn to
know who it was. I remembered it
perfectly from yesterday. Katie.
Kane sighed, then slowly turned to look
at her. Morning, Katie, he said flatly.
I didnt bother turning around for fear
that I might claw her eyes out. Which was
completely unlike me, but I didnt like her
thinking she had any sort of claim on
Kane.
Morning to you too. Its been a while.
How come you havent been around to see
me, Kane? I could hear the girly flirt in
her voice and it was putting me on edge. I

really wished these stupid elevators were

faster, but then again, did I really want to
be locked in an elevator with this girl?
Things would probably get very ugly if I
were locked in such close quarters with
her.
Kane completely ignored her question
and instead said, Have you met my
girlfriend, Kelsey? I peeked up at him
and he smiled down at me. Great now I
was going to have to turn around and
acknowledge this girl when I really didnt
want to, but to be polite I glanced over my
shoulder and gave her a tight smile. Hi,
I chirped.
Katie looked about as thrilled to be
talking to me as I was to her. She crossed
her arms over her chest and gave me a
scowl before plastering a fake smile

across her face and exclaiming,

Girlfriend?! I didnt know you had a
girlfriend! She then paused and leaned in
toward me. You lucked out with this one,
doll. Hes a real catch. Enjoy him. She
didnt have to finish her sentence for me to
know what she really meant. Enjoy him
while it lasts.
I bit the inside of my cheek and smiled,
then turned back around because the
elevator had finally arrived. Kane and I
stepped on. When the doors started to
close and Katie still had not stepped
inside, Kane shot his hand out and stopped
them. Were you getting on? he asked
her.
You know what? I forgot something in
my room. I will catch the next one. You
two have a nice day. She gave us another

fake smile. Oh, and Kane, just because

you have a girlfriend now doesnt mean
you have to go ignoring your friends. Im
sure Kelly wouldnt mind sharing you
from time to time, she sneered.
Its Kelsey, I said and knocked
Kanes hand down and watched the
elevator doors close in her face. Bitch, I
mumbled.
Kane laughed and I glared at him.
What?! She was hitting on you! Right
after you told her that I was your
girlfriend! Who does that?! I was almost
shouting. I was feeling very territorial at
the moment and I didnt like the he was
finding it amusing.
Youre right. Shes a bitch, he said as
he wrapped his arms around my waist and
leaned in for a kiss that I pulled away

from.
Why in the world would you even hold
the elevator for her in the first place? I
questioned. If he hated her so much,
wouldnt he have just let the doors close
on her like I had planned to do all along?
He gave me a puzzled look. I dont
know, Kelsey. Its just a habit I guess to
hold the door or elevator door for
someone. I wasnt really thinking about
who it was for.
I knew I was being silly, but I couldnt
help it. That girl had me so annoyed right
now and I was taking it out on Kane.
Youre right, I sighed. I just dont
like her.
That makes two of us. He winked and
leaned in again to kiss me. This time I let
him.

Kane and I had begun spending almost

all our time together. He was either
coming to stay with me at my dorm or I
was going to his apartment. After that first
night when we both found it hard to sleep,
we decided that it was best if we just
went ahead and stayed together. Seeing as
how both of us would be useless if we
went every day on only a couple hours of
sleep.
Tonight was one of the nights we were
staying at his apartment. We had gone
bowling with Jessi and Landon earlier that
night, and since his apartment was closer,
we decided to crash here. I had just taken
a shower and was now sitting on the edge
of Kanes bed, wringing my hands

together.
We hadnt had sex again since that first
night. Kane had said he was giving me
time to heal from the soreness, but I was
more than ready to give it another go. I
just wasnt sure how to approach the
subject. Do I just come out and tell him?
Do I try to seduce him into it?
I heard the water in the bathroom shut
off, and the butterflies that had been
floating around in my stomach grew into
what was more like an angry swarm of
bumble bees. My stomach was flipping so
hard, it was almost painful. I couldnt
believe what I was about to do, but dang
it, he gave me a taste of something then
just took it away. Did he not know that he
was being a super tease? If I wanted more,
I was going to have to go after it.

I heard the bathroom door open and

then close. The floorboards creaked under
his weight as he began walking down the
hall toward his room, where I was. He
twisted the knob and pushed open the
door, wearing nothing but a fluffy blue
towel. The tattoos going up both his arms
and across the top of his chest were
clearly visibly in all their beautiful glory.
I was never going to get tired of looking at
those tattoos, or at him for that matter. I
dont care what some people say, a man
can be beautiful and Kane definitely was.
He was simply stunning.
What are you staring at? he lightly
laughed as he walked over to his dresser
and opened the top drawer. As he passed
by me I could smell his sweet scent. There
had been times I had wondered if he

actually wore cologne or if it was just

body wash I smelled. I guess now I had
my answer.
Nothing. I shyly shrugged.
If he only knew what was going through
my head at this moment. My face grew hot
just from the thought.
Yeah, I dont believe you. He smiled
as he pulled a pair of black boxer briefs
from his drawer and slid them on under
his towel, then dropped the towel into the
hamper.
What a shame.
His smile grew even larger, causing
those dimples I loved so much to deepen.
He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth
and gave his lip ring and quick flip. Ah
hell, he was doing that on purpose. He
knew what playing with that lip ring did to

me.
Well, mister, two could play that game.
I scooted back further onto the bed,
keeping my eyes on his. I slowly laid my
body back onto the middle, then stretched
my arms above my head and faked a yawn.
I could feel that my tank had ridden up
around my belly button making a good two
full inches of the bare skin of my stomach
visible. My pajama shorts rested pretty
low on my hips and I knew he could see
my hip bones sticking out.
Kane had this weird thing with my hip
bones that I was becoming aware of. I had
begun to notice that anytime we would lie
together and my hip bones were exposed,
he would constantly rub over them. It
wasnt the most normal thing to fetish
over, but hey, some people got off on

sucking other peoples toes. I would take a

hip bone fetish over a toe jam sucker any
day.
Wow. I am so tired tonight. This day
has gone by so slowly. I couldnt wait to
get it over with so I could curl up in bed
and finally get some sleep. I tucked my
hands behind my head, and closed my
eyes.
Even with my eyes closed I knew he
was still looking at me. I could feel it; I
could feel the passion rolling off him,
washing over me. I pointed the toe of my
left foot and began lazily sliding it up and
down the calf of my right leg, and faked
another yawn.
The bed dipped and I felt a warm hand
begin caressing the inside of my calf, I
smiled. I had him.

You can wipe that grin off your pretty

little face right now. You got what you
wanted. You have my full attention now,
sweetheart. His hot breath tickled my
neck and he lowered his head down to
nuzzle the sensitive skin between my
shoulder and neck.
I sighed as his hand continued to rub up
and down my leg, going a little higher
with each trip up. He softly kissed a line
across my shoulder and back before
pulling back to look at me.
I dont think I will ever get enough of
you, Kels. Im addicted, and there is no
going back for me. I never thought my
heart was capable of these feelings until
you. You shine so bright, and so warm,
that you melted the ice I had around my
heart and made me feel again. He leaned

forward, rested his forehead against mine

and took a deep breath that he held for a
minute before slowly blowing it out. I
love you, Kelsey.
I didnt know if it was possible for a
heart to have butterflies, but at that
moment, after he said those three words to
me, my heart most definitely had
butterflies.
He finally pulled his face back to look
me in the eye. I do, Kelsey. I love you so
damn much.
I placed my hand on his cheek. He
leaned into my touch and I gently ran the
pad of my thumb under his eye. I love
you too, I softly whispered to him. My
throat was so tight from the overwhelming
emotions I was feeling for him, a whisper
was all I could manage.

His smile beamed so bright after I

whispered those words, and he crushed
his mouth to mine, kissing me deeply as if
his life depended on that one kiss. He
wasted no time ridding me of my tank and
pajama bottoms, and began exploring my
body first with his hands, and then with
his mouth. Placing feather light kisses on
my most sensitive areas.
I could feel his lip ring with every kiss
that he placed. The cold metal against my
heated skin was almost enough to send me
over the edge. He kissed across my collar
bone, then slowly down to the mounds of
my breasts. I couldnt stop the quiver that
ran through my body as his tongue ran
across one mound and dipped down
between the two. He must have felt my
shudder, because he let out a throaty laugh

and cupped my other breast in his hand

ever so lightly, massaging it with his palm
and fingers. This man had magic hands, let
me tell you.
I arched my back, pushing my chest
deeper into his touch. He responded by
settling his body between my thighs,
pressing himself against me, just the
pressure of having his hardness against me
had me gripping and clawing at his back.
Take off your underwear, I said, and
was shocked by the words that had just
tumbled out of my mouth. I was usually not
this outspoken, but when it came to Kane,
all bets were off. He made me feel brave
and alive. He was slowly bringing out a
side of me I didnt know even existed.
He chuckled at my demand. I will, just
wait. There is time for that later. Right

now there are a few parts of your body I

have been dying to get my mouth on. He
looked up at me, his gray eyes full of lust
and wanting.
I kept my eyes glued to his as he slowly
rained kisses down between my breasts,
then to my stomach where he used his
tongue to draw a lazy heart around my
belly button before lightly blowing air
across it.
My hips thrust up of their own accord
and Kane hooked his finger around the
string of my pink panties before leisurely
pulling them down my legs. Once he had
rid them from my ankles, he raked his eyes
up my body. Starting at my toes then
slowly going up my legs, pausing a bit
longer on my more intimate areas, before
resting back on my eyes. I should have felt

a bit insecure being all exposed to him

like that, but I didnt feel that at all. Seeing
his desire for me actually made me feel
empowered. Just knowing that I could
make his breathing shaky and eyes gloss
over the way they were, had my body
humming all over.
Every inch of you is perfect, Kelsey.
He shook his head slightly as if trying to
bring himself out of a daze. Lightly
grasping my ankle in his big, strong hand,
he brought it to his mouth and placed soft
kisses there and then up my calf,
murmuring sweet little words in between
each kiss. When he finally made it to my
thigh, I felt him sink down onto the bed,
lying flat on his stomach. Oh Lord. I didnt
know a lot about sex, but I knew what this
meant and my body automatically went

ridged.
Um, Kane I dont know if you
should I broke off, not knowing if I
could actually come out and say the exact
words.
Kelsey just shut up. He smiled up
at me before placing a feather light kiss
high on my inner thigh, almost, but not
quite close enough to where I was
throbbing.
I laid my head back on the bed and
closed my eyes. Still not really one
hundred percent sure about this. Sure I had
every intention of getting a little action
tonight but I never expected this.
Kelsey, relax. I heard Kane say, but
didnt open my eyes to look at him.
But but youre getting ready to put
your face somewhere that faces shouldnt

really go! I blurted out.

Oh, believe me, baby. They most
certainly should go there, he laughed.
Stop laughing at me, Kane. This is so
not funny!
I could still feel the small vibrations
from his laughter shaking the bed when he
asked, Do you trust me, Kelsey?
I rose up onto my elbows and looked
down at him. Yes. Yes, Kane, I do.
Good. Then lay down and let me do
this for you.
But
No, Kelsey. No buts. You say you trust
me, right?
I nodded.
Then trust me. Youre going to enjoy
this, baby. What the real question here is,
whos going to enjoy it more? You or

me? One side of his mouth pulled up in a

sly seductive grin.
Sighing, I finally laid back down. Do as
the man says, Kelsey. Relax. People do
this all the time, right? I thought to
myself. Before I could start to second
guess my decision to go through with this,
Kanes warm mouth covered me, making
me forget any thought I had in my head
about stopping what was happening,
making me forget any thought I had in my
head period, except for what he was doing
and how good it felt.
As if my hands had a mind of their own,
they shot out and grabbed at Kanes head.
Not sure if I was pulling him away
because the feeling was too much, or
pushing him harder against me because I
never wanted him to stop what he was

doing, I felt his name fall from my lips in a

blissful sigh, Kane.
I know, baby. And Im just getting
started.
Just getting started? Oh wow. I didnt
know how much more of it I could take
before I fell over the edge, but one flick of
his tongue had me seeing stars and hearing
angels sing and I was pretty sure I knew
the answer to his question. I was most
definitely going to enjoy this more. Oh
yes, I was.

I woke up the next morning to the smell

of bacon. My stomach automatically
started growling but I really didnt want to
get out of bed yet. Good thing I didnt
have to, because Kane walked through the
bedroom door about that time wearing
nothing but a pair of black, mesh shorts.
His glorious, toned chest on display. He
also had a coffee cup in one hand and a
plate in the other.
You finally awake? He smiled as he
asked.
Mhmm. I said as I sat up against his

headboard. Is that for me? I nodded

toward the plate that I could now see was
stacked full of heart shaped pancakes and
bacon. Im pretty sure I could feel the
drool running down my chin.
Kane plopped down on the bed but
made no attempt to give me the plate, only
popping a piece of bacon into his mouth
instead. Nope, this is mine. Get your
own, he mumbled around the bacon in his
mouth.
I glared at him for a second, then
pounced. When it came to bacon, I didnt
play around. I threw the cover up and over
the footboard, and had his hips straddled
between my thighs and my hands on the
plate before he knew what hit him. He
looked a little shocked but also pleased.
Wow. Didnt know you loved

breakfast this much. I may just have to

wake you up with food all the time if it
ends with us in the position. He looked
down to where our bodies were pressed
together. Before, this might have
embarrassed me, but now all it did was
make me tingle all over, and those tingles
must have caused bravery because my
response to him was to grind my hips
down into his. He let out a long, low
growl. Kelsey
I couldnt help the shiver that ran though
my body at the husky way he said my
name. He must have felt it, because he set
the plate that he had been holding on the
night stand beside his bed, and then
flipped me over onto my back before
taking my bottom lip between his teeth and
giving it a little pull. I gripped his large

biceps in my hands, squeezing them as the

tingles in my stomach began to spread a
little lower.
Kane ran his nose along my jawline,
then down my neck before lightly sucking
where my shoulder and neck meet.
Mmmhe sighedyou taste so
much better than breakfast. He slowly
licked a path up to my ear. I want to be
inside you, Kelsey, but I can wait if youre
still not ready. He breathed into my ear.
Just hearing him say he wanted to be
inside me had me feeling I like I was
going to explode.
I pulled my knees up around his hips
and dug my heels into his backside to
bring him closer to me. Then I began to
rub my body against his letting him know
exactly what I wanted. He groaned in my

ear and I decided then, that had to be the

sexiest sound in the world.
I put my feet back on the bed and
pushed, causing him to roll over and for
me to be on top again. I looked down at
him and he smiled, probably liking that I
was taking control this time. I wasnt
exactly sure as to what I was doing, but I
was going with what felt good.
I grabbed the bottom of my tank top and
pulled it over my head. My bare chest was
on full display now. Kane sat up and
began kissing my neck again. He lightly
trailed his fingers up my stomach until he
had my breasts in each of his warm hands.
My head fell back and I sank my body
deeper onto his. I really wished I had
taken off our bottoms first, but we would
get there soon enough. Kane nuzzled and

kissed his way down my neck to my chest

before taking one of my nipples into his
mouth. I ran my hand over his short hair,
holding him in place. He was licking and
sucking and had my whole body feel as
though it was melting. Before I knew it, I
was flipped on my back again and Kane
was pulling my shorts down my legs.
When I was completely naked, he
covered my body with his again and began
lightly kissing my mouth. He used his
tongue to tease mine, barely grazing mine
before retreating back into his mouth. I
slid my hands under his arms to his back,
pressing the tips of my fingers into his
flesh as I made my way down. When my
fingers finally reached the band of his
shorts, I began to pull them down, but
could only get them so far before he had to

help me.
When we were both finally, completely
bare, Kane stopped kissing me and sat up
on his elbows. He ran his thumb under my
eye along my cheekbone.
I really do love you, Kelsey.
My heart swelled. I would never get
tired of hearing him say that.
You own me now, you know that?
Never in my life have I wanted or loved a
person as much as I do you. I dont care
that we havent known each other long. I
know what I feel and this just feels meant
to be. That everything is completely right
when I am with you.
I nodded. I know, I said as I took his
face in my hands. I think my heart knew it
wanted you from the moment I first laid
my eyes on you. I couldnt get you out of

my head, and we literally kept bumping

into each other. I have never really
believed in signs, or fate, before, but I
have to now that I have you in my life. All
the bad things that have happened to us
had to happen for us to find each other.
It was true. I had lost my mom, but in
losing her I had also found Kane. I
probably would have never left that town
had she still been living there. I wouldnt
have been able to leave her. And while I
wished more than anything I could have
them both, I knew my mom would be
happy that I had found love.
I never want to know what life is
without you, Kelsey. Not. Ever. Again,
he finished as he slowly slid inside me.
I gasped. I could feel the tightness of my
body stretching, allowing him to fit inside,

but it was nowhere near the pain of the

first time. This time it was a pleasurable
pain and I could already feel the building
of my orgasm. Kane surprised me by
leaning back into a sitting position pulling
me back on top, our faces nearly touching.
I took advantage of the new position and
began kissing him. I wanted to lose myself
in this moment, in this kiss.
Kane gripped my hips and began to
show me how to rock myself back and
forth on his lap. This new position was
making him rub me in new ways, and I
knew my climax was coming quicker than
I had expected it to. When the feeling
became too much, I began to rock myself
harder and faster, gasping in his mouth
while we were kissing. My nails were
digging into his back and I was scared I

was probably breaking skin, but I couldnt

help myself. The feeling was too intense
and I felt like I was going to fly away if I
didnt hold on to him.
Kane pulled my bottom lip between his
teeth again, and that was all it took to send
me splintering into a million different
pieces. I gasped and lost the rhythm I had
going, but Kane took my hips and pushed
on through until he found his release as
well.
When he was finished, he rested his
forehead on my chest while we both tried
to control our breathing. I lightly rubbed
Kanes back until he raised his head to
look at me. We both smiled at each other
before Kane laid us back down on the
bed.
Please tell me I will get tired of this

eventually, because, honestly, I think I am

becoming addicted, I giggled.
Kane laced his fingers with mine before
bringing our joined hands to his mouth to
kiss each of my knuckles. I became
addicted to you a long time ago.
We ended up staying in bed for a good
part of morning. We talked about his plans
for the bar he wanted to open, and how he
couldnt wait to run his own place. His
excitement about his plans were
contagious and I couldnt help but picture
Kane in his own bar. He would make a
great boss. He was always in control of
himself and level headed most of the
time. I had only seen him lose his cool a
couple times, but both of those times had
been when the fights had happened at the
bar, and, honestly, that was enough to

make anyone go a little off the edge.

Later that evening, Kane had to work
and I decided to just stay upstairs at his
place. I had some studying to do, and there
was no way I would want him dragging
himself out so late to run me back to the
dorms.
Nate, Jessi, and I had finished our
assignment a few days before and had
made an A on it. I was so glad to finally
be finished with it. It hadnt been a hard
assignment, but now that it was over I had
more free time to spend with Kane. But I
also felt bad, because since we had
finished, I hadnt really spoken to Nate
that much.
Other than Kane and Landon, Nate had
been one of the closest friends I had made
here, and now that I had a boyfriend I had

completely dropped him. Maybe I should

text him and see if he wants to meet up for
coffee one day? I wasnt sure how Kane
would feel about it, but he would just have
to get over it. I knew he had nothing to
worry about when it came to Nate, he
would just have to trust me.
I had done all the studying I could
handle for one night, and it was still pretty
early. Kane wouldnt be off work for at
least another two and a half hours. And
after not finding anything good to watch on
TV, boredom got the best of me and I
decided to walk down to Shots to see
what Kane was up too.
I went ahead and changed out of my
study sweats and threw on some more
people-friendly clothing. It was Friday
night, and even though it wasnt Shots

most popular night, I didnt want to go

down there looking like a complete slob.
Jessi had been on a date with Landon, but
they had talked about swinging by, so
maybe I could pass the time with them
while I waited for Kane to get off work.
I approached the door and waved at
doorman, whose name I learned was
Jerry. Hey, Jerry. Busy night? I asked as
I took in the somewhat-long line of people
waiting to be let into Shots.
Nah, not too bad. You here to see
Kane? he asked.
I nodded. Yeah, I finished my studying
early and decided to come down and visit
a while. No point in sitting upstairs all
alone when my boyfriend is just down
here right? I smiled at him as he stepped
back to let me enter the bar.

I guess youre right. He should be in

there somewhere, darlin. Have a good
night.
I gave Jerry a small wave and made my
way into the bar.
It wasnt super crowded. I had seen it
busier, but I was glad for the small
numbers tonight. It would make it easier to
find Kane. I approached the bar to order a
drink while I looked for him. While
standing there waiting for the bartender to
take my order, a few people stepped away
from the bar and I was able to see Kane
leaning against the far wall on the other
end.
I automatically smiled at the sight of
him, but that smile was short-lived when I
saw Katie sway her way up to him. I stood
there and watched as she placed her hand

on his arm and I fought the urge to go

break every one of her fingers, but this
was a turning point for me. This would be
the point where I could put every doubt I
had ever had about Kane to rest.
I stood there, the rest of the bar, and
everyone in it, melting away until it was
just Kane, Katie, and I left. I held my
breath waiting for him to shake her hand
off his arm but that didnt happen. What
happened next was Katie pressing her
body against my boyfriend before she
wrapped her free hand around the back of
his neck and brought his lips down to hers.
My stomach dropped to my feet as I
watched Kane kiss Katie, and when I
couldnt stomach it anymore, I turned and
ran out of the bar. I had made it to the
sidewalk when I heard someone calling

my name. I couldnt make out the voice of

who it was over the pounding of my heart
in my ears, and I didnt want to turn
around in case it was Kane. I didnt want
to see him. I didnt want to look at him
and remember seeing his lips pressed to
Katies.
I felt a warm hand touch my arm and I
immediately jerked away. The pounding in
my ears had let up enough by now, though,
that I could hear Jessis voice talking to
me. I looked at her, but her face was all
blurry. It was then, I realized, I was trying
to look at her through my own tears.
Kelsey, what the hell is wrong?
Youre scaring me! She firmly took my
elbow him her hand. Where is Kane? Did
something happen?
Just hearing his name wrecked me. I

wanted to be away from here, away from

him. Jessi can you take me back to the
dorms? I managed to ask, though my
throat closed off on the last couple of
words. I was begging my body to go ahead
and sob, just go ahead and let it all out
right here on the sidewalk, but I wouldnt
do that.
Sweetie, you have to tell me whats
wrong. You are really scaring me now,
Jessi pleaded with me.
I need to get out of here right now,
Jessi, and I swear I will tell you
everything. Just please, take me back to
the dorms.
She nodded and wrapped her arm
around me and began walking me toward
the parking lot. I then noticed Landon
standing a few feet behind her. He was

flipping his keys back and forth on his

finger. Clearly not knowing how to handle
the situation. Just before we walked past
him, Jessi paused. I need you to take us
back to the dorms.
Landon nodded, then pointed over his
shoulder with his thumb toward the bar.
Okay, do you want me to run in real
quick and let Kane know whats up?
No! I said a little too loudly but I
didnt want him to tell Kane anything. He
had lost the right to know any of my
business the minute his lips touched
Katies. No. I just want to go to the
dorms now. If you guys are wanting to
stay, I will walk back.
Jessi shook her head. No, its fine. We
will take you. She then glared at Landon
and he hurried along to unlock his truck

for us.
I climbed inside Landons truck and
shut the door. Jessi laced her fingers with
mine and gave me a small smile. I wasnt
looking forward to telling her what had
happened tonight. She was going to flip
her shit and try to kill Kane, I just knew it.
But I didnt want that. I just wanted him
out of my life.
I cant believe I had been so stupid to
just give him everything like I had. I guess
Nate had been right. I didnt know the real
Kane after all.

As soon as we were back in our dorm, I

began telling Jessi everything that had
happened that night. How I had finished
studying and went to Shots to surprise
Kane, and how I had found him with
Katie. Like I knew she would, she was
ready to head over to Shots and castrate
him.
I loved my best friend. She was always
willing to do whatever it took to make me
happy, but there was no fixing this. This
was a broken heart. I had been stupid
enough to trust Kane with the most fragile

part of myself, and he had let me down.

My heart had already gone through so
much when I had lost my mom, that I
wasnt sure if it would ever be right again
after what Kane had done to it tonight.
While I had been telling Jessi about
what I had seen Kane do, the screen on my
cell phone lit up. We ignored it. I didnt
have to look to know who it was from.
Finally, after the third time it lit up, Jessi
grabbed my phone from my nightstand,
You want me to text him back? Tell him
he can go straight to hell and take that
whore with him?
I shook my head. No. I can handle
him. I took my phone from her hand. I
need to do this alone, though. I said as I
got up and went into the bathroom for
some privacy.

When I was in the bathroom, I locked

the door then turned to rest my back
against it. I stared at my phone and the
unopened text messages before I slid my
back down the door to sit on the bathroom
floor. The first text from him read.
Kelsey, where are you?
Shortly after he sent that one, he sent
another.
Baby, I dont know what happened.
Landon just stopped by and told me that
Jessi and he found you outside of the
bar crying? What is going on?
And then finally...
Talk to me, baby. Please.
I took a deep calming breath before
tapping out my reply. My hands were
already shaking from the fury I was feeling
about what he had done tonight.

Do not text me again. Do not call me.

Forget you ever met me, Kane. Im
done. I am SO done.
I took another deep breath to try to calm
my nerves, but it didnt help. My phone
shook in my trembling hands, and I could
see that Kane was typing out his reply.
Not that it mattered. There was nothing
he could say that would change what hed
done tonight.
My screen lit up again and I looked
down.
I am coming over. This is just crazy. I
dont know whats going on. I leave
you, go to work and the next thing I
know my best friend is telling me he
finds you in the middle of the sidewalk
crying your eyes out? I dont get it Kels.

WHAT HAPPENED? ...... Im on my

way now. We are going to talk about
this.
My breathing became erratic. He cant
come over. I cant face him right now!
He had crushed my entire world, and I
wasnt sure what I would do to him when
I came face-to-face with him again.
I quickly tapped out a response.
No, Kane. We are done. I dont want
you to come over. I never want to see
you again. You can tell Katie I said Hi
I hope she was worth it...
The tiny box that showed he was typing
out a response to me popped up, but then
quickly disappeared. I waited a few more
seconds on him to respond, but he never
did. He knew he had been caught and he
had nothing left to say.

I picked myself up off the bathroom

floor and turned on the shower. I wanted
to cry, needed to cry. So I decided the
shower was the best place to let it all out.
It would mask my sobs from Jessi, and it
would hide the obscene amount of tears
from myself.
When the hot water of the shower was
washing over my body, I sank to the floor
and wrapped my arms around my knees.
How could I have been so stupid? I
wanted to give Kane the benefit of the
doubt, that he had changed from the person
he used to be but I guess in the end he
was just a good liar. He had lied to me,
fooled me into believing he was someone
that he was not; and I was an idiot to think
that I would ever be enough to be able to
hold onto a person like Kane Riley.

No. In the end, the temptation of other

women won out, and I was left looking
like a fool. I dont know how long I has
sat in the shower before muffled voices
carried over the beat of water. I stood up
and turned it off and listened for a second.
I could hear Jessis high-pitched voice
as she yelled, followed by deep rumble of
someone calling my name.
I know she is here, Jessi, and I am
going to talk to her about this! Kane
shouted. I didnt want to face him, but I
couldnt let him keep screaming in the
dorms like that. All it was going to do was
cause Jessi and I trouble from the RA in
the end.
I stepped out of the shower and
wrapped a towel around my body. As I
turned the knob on the door to the

bathroom, I could hear Jessi loud and

clear.
You asshole! How could you! And
how dare you show up tonight after what
you have done!
I paused and waited for his reply.
Jessi, you dont get it. Im not exactly
sure what Kelsey saw but I have to talk to
her and explain
I dont want, nor do I need, an
explanation from you, Kane, I said as I
stepped around the bathroom door. My
eyes immediately locked with his
beautiful, gray eyes. I would miss staring
at those eyes.
Baby, listen, we have to talk about
this. I dont think you understand...
I held up my hand to stop him. Oh, I
understand completely, Kane. I understand

that I should have listened to what the

people around here, the people who know
youknow you better than I dohad to
say about you. You never changed. You
were just looking to have a good time with
the new girl in town. Well, you have had
your fun, and now I would like for you to
leave.
He took one step toward me with his
hands extended. I smacked his hands away
and took a step back. Dont touch me,
Kane. Dont ever touch me again. Dont
contact me, dont think about me, and
dont come back here again. We are over.
You did this. You did this to us. I cant
forgive you, I wont. I need you to leave
now. My voice was becoming shaky and
I knew the tears were about to fall, but I
really didnt want to cry in front of him.

I looked at Jessi, who I had forgotten

had been standing there this entire time,
and gave her a look for help. She
immediately understood and began
pushing Kane back toward the door. He
didnt fight her. He could probably see
how broken I was about this whole
situation all over my face.
I couldnt stop the one, lone tear that
fell from my eyes and rolled down my
cheek just before Jessi pushed him out the
door, slamming it in his face when he was
finally back in the hallway. When the door
was closed, she locked it but it didnt stop
the one, loud thump that came from the
other side. I would assume it was from
Kane hitting the door.
Kelsey, I love you. I am going to fix
this. You will see. I will fix this.

I stood there a minute hugging myself.

When it was finally quiet again, and it had
seemed like Kane had finally gone home, I
went to my bed and crawled in, pulling the
covers up to my neck as I did. I didnt
even bother to shed my towel and put on
some actual clothes. I was mentally
exhausted, and I just wanted to go to sleep
and pretend I had never met Kane Riley.
Pretend I had not given him a part of me
that I could never get back. My heart.

When I woke the next day, my eyes

burned from the ridiculous amount of
crying I had done throughout the night. I
had cried over the loss of my first
relationship. I cried over the loss of Kane,
and the fact that I wouldnt have him in my
life anymore. He had become a regular
part of my everyday life, and now I was
going to have to find something new to
distract me from thinking about him. But
most of all, I cried over the fact that I was
beginning to lose the me that I had worked
so hard to find again.

When I finally sat up in bed, I saw that

Jessi was already awake. Was I in a
parallel universe? Jessi waking up before
me Jessi having a committed boyfriend
oh, how times had changed since we
started college.
Morning. She gave me a small smile
and came to sit on my bed with me. I
pulled my legs up to my chest, then rested
my chin on my knees.
Morning. How long have you been
awake? I cant believe you are up so
early. I gave a small smile and she rested
her hand on my arm.
Kelsey, its not early. Its already two
in the afternoon.
I glanced at my alarm clock sitting on
my nightstand. She was right. I had slept
most of the day. I sighed and flopped my

body back onto my bed, What is with me

lately? I sleep all day. I make bad
judgment about people. I pulled the cover
up over my head, Im just going to stay
right here for the rest of my life. I
obviously suck at life so why bother trying
to fake it.
Jessi jerked the cover away from my
face and hovered over me. You listen to
me, Kelsey Rien. You are going to get
through this. I know you have had a shitty
hand dealt to you your whole life, and
what Kane did just added to that, but you
are stronger than this. You will get through
this.
She was right. I was stronger than this
stupid break up. I refused to let Kane and
this whole situation drag me back into the
dark place I had found so hard to get out

of. Youre right, Jessi. You are so right. I

am going to dust this off. Kane who?
She smiled. That is exactly right. Kane
who? You just wait, babe. If you thought
relationship sex was good, wait until you
have tried your hand at rebound sex. She
winked and I cringed.
There was no way I was going to go
that far. I just wanted to be happy. The sex
with Kane was not what had been making
me happy. It was just him, but that had
been a lie, so I needed to move on.
I hopped up from the bed and looked at
Jessi. Im going to get ready. Then we
are going to go out and do something fun.
Sitting in the dorm room will not help
matters any, and why should I have to hide
away? I didnt fuck up. He did.
Jessi stood and hugged me. Atta girl!

You get ready. I will go get us some

coffee, then we will go get manis and
pedis. She grabbed her purse and headed
toward the door. With her hand on the
knob, she paused. Im really glad you are
not going to let this get you down, Kels.
Im glad to finally have some of the old
you back, and Im not ready to lose her
again.
I smiled at Jessi and she continued on
her way to get our coffees, and started
getting ready foranotherfresh start.
Jessi and I had spent the first part of the
day getting manis, pedis, and massages. It
felt so good to have someone rub all the
sorrow away from my body that it had
been feeling the night before. Walking out
of the spa that day, I felt like a new
person. I could do this. I could be happy

without Kane.
Now that all our problems had been
rubbed and soothed out of us, we were left
with limited options for what to do with
the rest of our night. The town our college
was in wasnt all that big, so the things we
could do were sort of limited. The only
thing we knew was we wanted to go
dancing, but the only place we could do
that was Shots. I had known that Kanes
schedule had him off tonight because we
were supposed to go out. So I at least
knew he wouldnt be working as a
bouncer, but that didnt mean he wouldnt
be there.
Jessi had said that she would drive as
far as we needed to, to go to a place to
dance, but there was no point. I couldnt
avoid Kane forever. We went to the same

school. Our best friends were dating. It

was better to just rip the Band-Aid off
now and just get that first time being in the
same vicinity over with.
We went straight from the spa to Shots.
Landon was helping his parents with
something for the night, so it would just be
Jessi and me. Just like it always had been.
When we approached the door, Jerry gave
me a knowing look. I know he had seen
me run out last night even though he had
made not attempts to stop me or talk to me.
He also didnt bring it up as we walked
past him and into Shots.
We made our way to the bar where
Jessi ordered double shots of Patrn that
we tossed back as soon as they were set in
front of us. I welcomed the burning
sensation the alcohol provided as it went

down.
Woo, I said, shaking my head back
and forth. Its been a while.
I know right?! she shouted back.
You are going to have so much fun
tonight, Kels. I just know it. Nowshe
said clapping her hands togetherlets
get out there and find you some hot piece
of tail to play with, she said, pulling on
my hand and dragging me toward the
dance floor.
With the alcohol from the shot, I felt my
body loosening up more than it already
had been. All I really wanted to do was
dance. I wanted to lose myself in the beat
of a good song. A new Kelly Clarkson
was blasting, and the lights were flashing
and I let my body flow to the beat.
I felt someone come up behind me and

begin to dance with me. My body

automatically stiffened, and I turned to tell
the person to back the fuck off because I
really didnt want to be pawed at tonight. I
wanted to dance by myself and just not
have any worries. When I turned to tell the
person dancing with me to get lost, I found
a familiar set of blue eyes.
Nate, I breathed a sigh of relief. I
was so thankful it had not been some
random stranger. I looked over at Jessi
who signaled to me that she was going to
go to the bathroom. I nodded at her to let
her know I was okay and she began
weaving her way through the crowd.
Hey, Kelsey. Good to see you. It feels
like since we finished our project you
have been avoiding me. He leaned down
and said into my ear.

Yeah, I know. Im sorry. I had just

thought to myself last night that I should
call you and see if you wanted to meet up
for coffee sometime this week. But then
some stuff went down and I never got
around to it.
I did truly feel bad at the way I had
dropped Nate. He was one of the first
people I had met when I started school
here, and he had been the one to try to
warn me about Kane. Though at times,
Nates attitude had come off a little
strange, or jealous of, Kane, he had been
right in the end.
We are friends, Nate. Im sorry I have
been so distant lately.
Nate smiled at me before leaning down
to my ear to speak, Its fine, Kelsey. I
know we are friends. You have a

boyfriend and a life. You cant be

worrying about spending time with me.
I was shaking my head before he could
even finish what he was saying. One, I
dont have a boyfriend anymore. Two,
even though I had a boyfriend, that does
not excuse dropping everyone in my life.
Nate pulled back to look at me, a
puzzled look on his face. You are Kane
are no longer together?
I shook my head. It hurt worse than Id
thought it would to admit it to someone
other than myself. No. You were right. I
didnt know the real Kane.
He gave me a sad smile before taking
my hand in his. Im sorry, Kelsey. I
didnt want to be right about that. I didnt
want to see you hurt. But its probably for
the best that it ended as soon as it did

before you let yourself fall too much for

him.
Little did he know I had fallen to the
bottom with Kane, and it was going to be
a hard climb back to the top, but I would
get there.
Nate smiled before he spoke again.
You know what? You still owe me a
dance.
I owed him a dance? I looked at him
confused.
You remember. The night you wore
that amazing pink dress? You promised
me a dance and then left before I could get
it from you.
I thought back to that night. He was
right. I was so worked up over Kane that
night that I had forgotten about even
talking to Nate. What a bitch he must have

thought I was.
Look, I know things just went sour
with you and Kane, but maybe this is what
you need. A good night out with some
good friends. He gave me his milliondollar smile, and I smiled back.
That is exactly what tonight is about.
So I would love to dance with you, Nate.
Nate pulled my body closer to his and
while I was genuinely happy to have a
friend like Nate to dance with, I wasnt
sure how I was going to react to all this.
Kane was the only person I had ever been
this close to, but since Nate was a close
friend, I was going with it and hoping for
the best.
A new song started up and Nate placed
one hand lightly on my hip, watching my
face the entire time as if to make sure I

was okay with it. His hand, being where it

was, sent a jolt through me at first. Kane
was the last person who had touched me
like this. I shook my head and pushed all
thoughts of Kane away. Dance. I just
needed to dance.
I closed my eyes again and just felt the
beat of the music and everything else
faded away again. It was so crazy how
music could take you away from all your
troubles. How sometimes a certain song
could tell your whole lifes story. I loved
losing myself in music.
I had been so lost in the beat that I
hadnt noticed how close Nate and I were
now. I was straddling one of his knees and
had both my arms wrapped around his
neck. I tried to pull back a little when I
realized how close we were, but the grip

he had on my hips tightened.

Nate I started, but he interrupted
me.
Kelsey, just go with it, he said with a
slight begging in his tone.
Nate, really, we need to put some
distance between ourselves. I was not
feeling the least bit of attraction to Nate,
but I could now see that by the look in his
eye, he was looking at this more than what
it was just a dance with a friend.
I glanced toward the bar and
immediately locked eyes with Kane. I
didnt think he would be working tonight.
He was standing there glowering at me
and Nate. He wasted no time shoving his
way through the crowd toward us. Oh
no, I mumbled.
What? Nate asked.

Kane. I gave a nod.

Nate turned his head and saw Kane
stalking toward us. Dont worry, Kelsey.
I wont let him near you.
I gave Nate a questioning look. I wasnt
scared for Kane to be near me. In all
honesty, the way Nate was acting was
what was scaring me.
What the hell? Kane growled as he
stopped in front of us. Twenty-four
hours, Kelsey. It has been twenty-four
fucking hours since our fight, and you are
already dancing with this tool?! Kane
shouted, and I couldnt help but cower at
the intensity of his voice.
Nate noticed and automatically jumped
to the wrong conclusion. Look, Kane.
You need to leave. Kelsey doesnt want to
be around you. Cant you see you are

scaring her?
Kanes eyes slowly slid to Nate, and I
could see the hatred laced within them.
Back. The. Fuck. Off. My girlfriend,
Kane growled.
Nate let out a slight chuckle and
wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to
his side. Girlfriend, huh? Thats not what
she was telling me a few minutes ago.
Kanes eyes shot back to me. Kelsey?
he questioned. We had a fight. A
misunderstanding. We havent even had a
chance to talk about it yet and you are
already making moves on someone else?
I could hear the hurt in his voice, but he
also had an accusing tone and it pissed me
off.
How dare him! He was just pressing
his lips to someone elses last night and

he wants to give me crap about telling

someone else I wasnt his girlfriend
anymore? Finally fed up with the pissing
contest these two where having over me, I
pushed through them. They both asked me
where I was going and I spun on my heel
and glared at them.
Im leaving. Im not in the mood for
bullshit tonight from either of you!
I turned and made my way to the exit of
Shots. I had made it to the parking lot
before I realized I had ridden here with
Jessi.
I heard thunder, and lightning cracked
across the sky as I stood beside Jessis
locked car. Rain. Fucking great! I placed
both hands on the roof of Jessis car and
tried to control my emotions. Seeing Kane
had be rougher than I thought it would. My

heart still fluttered when he was around.

Funny thing since I knew it was broken.
Kelsey can we talk?
I didnt bother to look up. I knew who
was standing behind me. Go away Kane.
I. Do. Not. Want to talk to you, not now.
Not ever.
Kelsey! God damn it! Would you stop
and talk to me! he shouted as he grabbed
my elbow and turned me to face him, his
gray eyes swirling with turmoil.
Talk to you? What about, Kane?! Huh?
You want to talk about how I knew I
should have never taken the chance on you
because I KNEW you would break my
heart? You want to talk about how I cant
stand to be near you because it hurts too
damn much?
Or do you want to talk about the fact

that you took my heart, and put it back

together, only to smash it into a million
pieces? I took a deep breath. Im
completely and utterly broken now thanks
to you. So, no, I wont talk to you! I
could feel the tears welling, and before I
could stop it, one fell down my cheek. I
tried to break loose of Kanes hold so he
couldnt see me cry; but who was I
kidding, that arm was his until he decided
to let go of it.
Kels, if anyone is broken its me. He
finally let go of my arm only to gently cup
my cheeks into each of his hands. What
happened last night is not what you think.
You would know that if you will give me
five minutes to explain. The storm in his
eyes seemed to calm for a minute before it
came back with a vengeance. He

immediately let go of my face and took a

step back. But instead of talking to me
about it, you come here and fuck around
with Nate? Really, Kelsey?
What are you even doing here
tonight? I yelled at him. I wouldnt have
come here had I known he would be
working.
I work here. Remember?
But I mean what are you doing here
now? I thought you were off tonight?
Eddies kids are sick. His wife
couldnt get out of work. So I said I would
cover for him. Stop avoiding my question.
What in the hell would make you do this to
me? Of all people, you had to come here
with Nate?
I balled my hands into fists. He had no
right to be asking me anything, so I

ignored his question and made an attempt

to step around him but he grabbed hold of
my arm, stopping me.
Let go of my arm, Kane! I yelled and
jerked my arm free from his grasp. This
is all your fault! I screamed.
The rain began pouring down on us. His
black shirt became soaked through and
was sticking to every inch of him, making
it easy for me to see the muscles in his
arms and chest twitch. He closed the short
distance between us and looked right
down into my eyes.
My fault? Really? Thats rich,
Kelsey, he sneered.
My blood was boiling at that point. It
was his fault! He was the one who
couldnt keep his lips to himself! I was the
fool who thought he could be true to me.

What are you trying to say? Thats its

my fault?! I trusted you, Kane! I trusted
you so much. You kissed Katie! You let
me down you broke my heart. I
hiccupped a sob.
Im done playing these games, Kelsey.
You say you trust me but then wont give
me the chance to explain anything before
you shut me out of your life and move on
to the next person. His voice was
hollow. It held no emotion anymore. I
want you, Kelsey. I want you so damn
bad, but its obvious I cant change your
mind. I cant make you want me or love
me. He turned and began walking away
from me, straight to the stairs that led to
his apartment.
I had nothing left to say. I could no
longer feel anything. Not the chill from the

rain, or my broken heart. So I just stood

there in the rain and watched him go.

I finally decided standing there in the

rain like an idiot would not help matters,
plus I had the strangest feeling I was being
watched, so I headed back in to Shots to
find Jessi so we could leave. When I
stepped inside, I began searching for
Jessi, but I couldnt find her anywhere.
She wasnt at the bar, I was searching the
dance floor for her when someone stepped
in my path.
Nate. I really dont have time to talk,
I said to him, still looking around the
crowded dance floor for Jessi. Im trying

to find Jessi so I can go home. Have you

seen her? I asked.
When he didnt respond, I looked at up
at him. He was staring at me with no
expression on his face. His whole
demeanor was beginning to scare me, so I
made a step to go around him when he
grabbed me and pulled me to his chest.
I automatically tried to push off his
chest, but he held firm and I was beginning
to panic. I didnt like him holding me like.
This wasnt the Nate I was used to.
Let me go, Nate, I firmly said, hoping
it would break through whatever haze was
in.
From day one I have been there for
you, Kelsey. Day. One. Have I not? Why
is it that you cant see what is right in front
of you? I would treat you so good. So

damn good. You would want for nothing

with me. Dont you realize that? I could
see he was becoming agitated and I wildly
scanned the room for Jessi. Where in the
hell was she?!
Nate, please, let me go and I promise
you well talk about this. I tried to reason
with him, but I could tell nothing I was
saying was getting through. I couldnt
smell alcohol on his breath, so I didnt
know where this change was coming from.
He had never even remotely acted
interested in me as more than a friend.
Do you know how much it kills me to
watch you pine away after Kane? He spat
Kanes name out as if it was a piece of
garbage. I didnt like where this was
going, and I needed to get awaynow.
Youre too good for him, Kelsey. He

will never amount to anything. He doesnt

even have parents. He would have been
set if he hadnt screwed up any
relationship that he had with his
grandparents. And you see that he couldnt
give up the women, even when he had
something as good as you to call his. If
you were mine, I swear, I wouldnt even
be looking at other girls. My whole world
would revolve around you. I would
treasure you, Kelsey.
He obviously didnt know about Kane
and his grandparents reconciling, which
now had me believing that he didnt know
anything at all about Kane now. And I was
pretty sure I had not told him the reason
Kane and I were no longer together.
It should have been you and me from
the start. I didnt pursue you because I

thought you would be smart enough not to

fall for Kanes shit, but you see now,
dont you? You see how he deceived you
and how he could so easily forget about
you when it came to Katie.
Now that youre not burdened by him
anymore, we can give us a shot, though. I
can show you how it feels to be spoiled
and pampered. He smiled, but it had a
disturbing edge to it now, and made my
stomach turn.
You are quick to forget, Nate, that you
havent asked me what I want, and I dont
want those things. Not with you, not with
anyone! Im not the type of girl who can
be bought into a relationship. You would
have known that if you were really my
friend, I hissed at him, then something
else he had said sank in and I glared at

him, I never told you that I caught Kane

with Katie. I never told anyone besides
Jessi, and I am pretty sure she never told
anyone. I jerked my body one last time,
which broke the hold he had on me, and I
turned to run and find Jessi.
I made my way toward the back where
the bathrooms were, still glancing over my
shoulder to see if Nate was following me.
I didnt see him, but I also didnt see him
standing where I had left him on the dance
floor. All the hair on my body stood on
end. I needed to find Jessi and I needed to
get out of here and away from him.
I pulled out my phone and began typing
out a text to Jess. I knew if I couldnt find
her, she would at least get my text.
Big trouble. Need you now. Nate is a
psycho. Meet me at the bathroom.

There, now all I would need to do is

wait by the bathrooms for her and then we
could leave and I could forget about this
whole mess.
What the hell was that?! Had I given
Nate the impression somewhere along the
way that I was interested in him as more
than a friend? Looking back I didnt think I
had, so I didnt know what tonight was all
about.
I was looking down at my phone,
willing it to chime with a text from Jessi,
when someone grabbed me from behind.
The person who had me placed one hand
over my mouth, and knocked my phone out
my hands with the other.
Shh, we are just going to go talk,
Nates voice hissed in my ear. You cant
just walk away from me, Kelsey. No one

disrespects me like that. Now youre

going to keep real quiet. Youre not going
to put up a fight and youre going to come
with me.
I started to shake my head no when I
felt a sharp poke in my side. I wasnt
stupid, I knew what it was. It was a knife.
The bastard pulled a knife on me.
Please dont make me hurt you,
Kelsey. I dont want to hurt you. I just
need to talk to you. To make you
understand, but know this, if you cause a
scene I will hurt you and if I cant hurt you
I will hurt the people you care about.
Do you understand?
I began to panic. Where was Jessi? Had
he already gotten to her? There was
nothing else I could do. I couldnt take a
chance on him hurting anyone else, so I

nodded to let him know I would do

whatever he wanted.
Good. Now we are going to slip right
out this door over here. Come on.
He began pulled me to the back exit of
Shots. I heard the door open and I felt a
rush of wind. I looked around at the bar
full of people, and no one seemed to
notice what was going on. At the last
minute I spotted Kane. He was standing
tall above the other as if he was looking
for something. I was praying he would
glance my way and see what was
happening but he never did and the door to
Shots slammed shut along with any hope I
had that someone would save me.
He dragged me around the corner to
where his car was. The rain had finally
stopped, but there was now a fog drifting

along the ground. I could still feel the

knife poking at my side so I tried not to put
up too much of a fight. I obviously didnt
know Nate as well as I thought I did, so it
was hard to say what he was capable of
and I didnt want to chance pushing him
too far, so I went willingly.
He opened the drivers side door and
leaned down to my ear. Climb in this
side. Im going to take my hand off your
mouth to let you do this. Please dont
make me do something we both will
regret.
I nodded and he released the hold he
had on my mouth. I crawled my way
across the drivers seat and into the
passengers seat. This wasnt an easy feat
to do, because he drove a small sports
car. The thought had crossed my mind to

make a run for it while he climbed in, but I

was already so cramped in the tiny car
that I knew I would get tripped up in my
attempts, and he would end up catching me
and then there was no telling what he
might do. So I thought to myself, maybe if
I played along long enough, he would
finally let me go. We had been friends
or so I thoughtmaybe if I could get him
to remember the friendship, he would be
less likely to hurt me in the end.
Nate climbed in and started the car.
Where are you taking me? I asked him.
He turned his head and smiled. Just
somewhere to talk, Kelsey. We need to
talk about this. I need you to understand
where Im coming from. He put the car in
drive and pulled out of Shots onto the
main road.

He headed in the opposite direction of

the college, toward a part of town I had
never been to. The street lights became
fewer and farther in between, as did the
houses and businesses. He was taking me
somewhere where no one would be able
to bother us or find me, and I began to
panic.
Nate, really we can talk about this
back at school, or maybe over a cup of
coffee tomorrow morning when youre not
so worked up. I was pleading with him. I
didnt want to get to the destination we
were headed, because I wasnt sure I
would make it back.
No. We are going to talk about this
tonight and I have to get you away from all
the noise and people that might cloud your
judgment, he said as he turned on his

signal light and took a left onto a dark

street. Through the darkness I could see a
large mass, and as we got closer, I saw
that I was an old abandoned building.
What is this place? I asked as he
slowly pulled the car to a stop.
Just an old building my father owns.
Its been closed for years and sometimes
the frat comes here to party when we dont
want to get in trouble with the university.
He popped open his door and stepped out.
With the help of the security lights, I could
see him motioning for me to get out when
he stepped in front of the car. I guess he
figured there was no way I would run
now, and he was right. Where would I
even go? The last house we had passed
was a good ten minutes back the other
way. I was going to have to ride this out

and hope for the best.

I slowly opened my door and stepped
out, and took in the big dark building.
Some of the windows were busted out,
and it had the obvious graffiti that
abandoned
buildings
seemed
to
accumulate over time.
Dont worry. Its a lot better than it
looks. We have lights and old couches
inside. I told you, the frat uses this pace to
party sometimes. He smiled. He
obviously had no clue that I didnt want to
be here, that I didnt want to be out here
alone, with him.
He began walking to the doors of the
building, but turned to glare at me when I
made no attempt to follow. He said
nothing as he pulled the knife from his
pocket, the blade glinting in the light from

the headlights of the car.

I gulped as I took a step closer to him.
He reached out and grabbed my hand,
roughly pulling me closer to him.
We are just going to talk, Kelsey. He
smiled, but I couldnt fake a smile back.
Nate pulled me inside the dark building.
He let go of my hand long enough to plug
in some security lights. The room flooded
with the harsh lighting, and I could see that
the walls were splattered with paint and
more graffiti. There were a couple of old,
worn couches and chairs spaced sparsely
throughout the room, and huge sets of
speakers in each corner. This place
screamed squatter party house.
I wrapped my arms around my torso,
hugging my body. Nate, please take me
home, I begged him. I didnt want to be

here. I wasnt sure what Nate was capable

of anymore.
Nate crossed the room to stand before
me, he wrapped his hands around my
upper arms. Kelsey, I told you. We have
to talk first. Then I will take you home.
A door slammed and both our heads
turned to see who it was. I was elated at
first because I thought finally someone had
come to rescue me. But the person I found
in the doorway was anything but a rescuer.
It had been six years since I had come face
to face with him, but I would remember
those cold eyes anywhere.
Who the fuck are you? Nate let go of
my arms and turned toward the person
standing in the doorway.
I would be that pretty little thing you
have theres father. My dads deep voice

echoed throughout the room chilling me to

the bone.
His face was hollow. He was much
thinner than the last time I had seen him in
the courtroom, but he still held this aura
about him that screamed dangerous.
Oh, Sir, we were just out here
talking. Nate began to stutter. He didnt
know anything about my past and what my
dad had done. He probably thought my
dad was here to save me. But now, more
than ever, I knew I was never going to
make it out of this old, dirty building
alive.

My father held up one hand to silence

anything else Nate had to say. He was
staring straight at me with and ugly snarl
on his face.
My, my, how you have grown, my
dad said as he walked along the wall,
circling me like a wild animal stalking its
prey.
How did you get out? I asked. My
voice barely about a whisper.
You would know if you would have
been at the hearing a few months ago,
sweet pea. He grinned like the Cheshire

Cat.
I shook my head. This wasnt possible.
He was supposed to never get out that
place. I was supposed to never have to
face him again.
Whats wrong? Not happy to see
daddy? he asked as he pulled a black
handgun from his back.
My whole world stopped when he
brought the gun up and pointed it straight
at me. I closed my eyes. I heard the
explosion of the shot and waited to feel
the burn of the bullet piercing my skin. But
it never came.
I opened my eyes to see that my dad
still had the gun pointed at me but Nate
was no longer standing beside me. Instead
he was lying on the floor, unconscious and
bleeding from his abdomen.

Immediately I dropped to my knees and

pressed my hand over his wound to try to
stop some of the blood from flowing out
of his body.
Get up! my father screamed, startling
me and causing me to fall back on my butt.
I said, GET UP! The gun rattled in his
shaking hand as he pointed it at me. I
scurried to stand, but I couldnt stop
watching the blood flow from Nates
stomach. He skin was turning paler by the
second.
It was all your fault, you know. I
looked at my dad. All of it. Everything
that ever happened to her was your fault.
We were fine before you came along. We
were happy. Then she found out she was
pregnant with you, he spat the word you
like it was the most disgusting thing in the

world to him.
I tried to talk her out of having you. I
wanted her to have an abortion. She was
MINE! I didnt want to share her with
anyone, but she threatened to leave me
and raise you on her own, and I couldnt
let that happen. I couldnt let her go. So I
let her have you as long as I could keep
her. He paused for a minute, as if he was
reflecting back on the memories. She
loved you more than she did me. Thats
why I did the things I did to her. She
wasnt supposed to love anyone more than
me. I loved her so much, his voiced
cracked on his last sentence, and I wanted
to throw up.
How could he beat her and treat her the
way he did, if he loved her? I had always
known my dad was evil, but I didnt know

he was a lunatic.
How did you get out? I asked him
again.
He chuckled. Smart thinking on your
old mans part when I ran back in the
house and planted that knife on your
mother. I knew eventually they would
believe my story about self-defense and
have my conviction overturned. I just had
to wait and find a lawyer that wasnt a
complete moron to represent me. He
smiled, clearly proud of his victory. It
was more difficult to find you when I got
out, than I thought it would be. Changing
your name. That was clever.
I didnt do it to hide from you! I
wanted no reminder that you even
existed! I screamed at him, causing him
to stalk over to me and slap me in the face.

I can see that six years has not been

long enough for you to learn some damn
respect! he yelled at me, and I spit the
blood that was pooling in my mouth onto
his shoes.
This enraged him and he tackled me to
the ground. I fought against him, and in the
struggle I felt a tug at my wrist and then a
pop. My charm bracelet. I glanced at my
wrist and could see it was no longer there.
I started blindly slinging my fists in the
air, hoping to connect somewhere on his
face.
He was stronger than me though, and
grabbed my wrists in his hands before
forcing them to the ground above my head.
He then held them together with one hand
while his other hand came down to grasp
my throat. I immediately struggled to pull

air into my lungs. I could feel my eyes

bulging with panic as I bucked my body to
try to throw him off, but it was no use. I
was going to die. And I was going to die
just like my mom had.
I wouldnt give him the satisfaction of
looking me in the eye as I died, though, so
I looked anywhere in the room but at him.
My eyes eventually fell on the door to the
warehouse. I wasnt sure if it was the lack
of oxygen my brain was getting, but I
could see Kane standing there. He put his
finger to his lips in a Shh motion.
I glanced at my father who was
concentrating so hard on me that he didnt
see Kane come storming into the room.
Kane hit my father with his body. Tackling
him like some pro football player.
When my throat was clear of my

fathers grasp and I was able to breathe

again, I scurried to stand. My dad and
Kane were still rolling around on the floor
in a struggle. I couldnt tell who was
getting the best of who but then I saw the
glint of metal in the light and I knew my
father still had the gun.
Kane! Watch out he has a
The bang from the gun stopped any
other words from leaving my throat. The
commotion from the two of them ceased
and I waited for what seemed like eternity
for one of them to move.
No! I screamed when my father stood
and I caught sight of Kane lying on the
ground bleeding. You bastard!
Youre next, sweet pea. He raised the
gun and pointed it at me again. This time I
wouldnt close my eyes. I wanted him to

see how much loathed him before he

killed me.
But right as my dads finger rested on
the trigger Kanes arm shot out, knocking
my father s feet out from underneath him.
When my father fell to the ground, his gun
flew from his grasp and landed at my feet.
I hurried and picked it up, and pointed
it at where he now knelt in front of me.
Kane was no longer conscious. He laid
behind my dad, still bleeding, with his
eyes closed. The fear that he might already
be dead ripped through my body as I
placed my finger on the trigger.
My dad looked up at me. No fear in his
eyes and said, You dont have it in you.
You were always a coward. Thats why
you did nothing to stop me that night from
killing your mom.

Anger and hatred toward this man took

over my every sense. It was now
becoming so clear to me that everyone
was right. HE had killed my mom. Not me.
He was the evil one.
I hate you, I said to him as I pulled
the trigger and shot him square in the
chest. His body fell back onto the floor.
He blank eyes staring at the ceiling. I
dropped the gun on the floor and rushed
over to Kane.
His eyes were still closed and his shirt
was soaked in blood. I lifted his head to
cradle it in my lap. Tears streaming down
my face as I held him.
Im so sorry, Kane. Im so sorry I
came into your life and caused so much
damage.
Kanes eyes fluttered open and he

looked at me. I laid my hand on his cheek

that was becoming cold from the amount
of blood he was losing. I love you. I
dont care about what happened with
Katie. I love you so much. Please hold on.
Please dont die on me. Stay with me.
Kane slowly lifted his hand and rested
it against my cheek. I didnt kiss Katie
like you think I did. She kissed me. I
pushed her away a few second after our
lips touched, but I guess you had already
turned away. Im sorry, Kelsey. Im sorry
I didnt just tell you right away. You were
mad and I wanted to give you time to cool
off before I approached you again. Then I
saw you dancing with Nate tonight, and I
thought I had already lost you. He
coughed and a tiny trail of blood ran from
the corner of his mouth down his cheek.

Kane, please dont talk anymore. Save

your strength. Im going to go see if I can
find you some help. I started to lift his
head from my lap but he stopped me.
Called police before I came,
he struggled. Found Jessi at bar
said she had a text about Nate. He
coughed again and more blood ran down
the side of his face. Knew he would
bring you here. Called police, he
finished and his eyes closed.
No, Kane! Wake up! Stay with me! I
begged him through my sobs.
His eyes fluttered open to look at me. I
love you, Kelsey Rien. He said as he
closed his eyes one last time.

I traced the name that was carved in

stone over and over. It had been too long
since I had been hereto my mothers
grave. Kane stood a few feet behind me,
letting me have a moment with her.
I didnt like that he was standing back
there like that. After the shot he had taken
a few weeks ago, the doctors said he
should be resting, but he insisted on
coming here with me today. I loved him
for that. He had almost lost his life trying
to rescue me from my dad.
I thought for sure he would bleed out

before the paramedics could get him to the

hospital. They had rushed him into
emergency surgery to repair the damage
the bullet had caused to his most vital
organs. It was touch-and-go a few times,
but he had managed to pull through.
Nate hadnt been as lucky as Kane. His
injuries were far worse than the ones
Kanes had encountered and he had bleed
to death before the police had even gotten
there. I would carry the guilt of Nates
death with me forever, just as I had my
moms. Nate hadnt been completely
crazy. He was just spoiled and used to
getting whatever he wanted, and what he
wanted was me.
I brought the evil that had taken Nates
life right to him. My father had been after
me and he was willing to end anyone who

got in the way of that. Nate taking me just

so happened to present the perfect
opportunity for my father to strike.
I miss you, mom, I whispered and I
traced the date, seven years exactly now.
When she first died, I felt like I would
never be able to truly be happy again.
How could I, after the way I had lost her?
I glanced over my shoulder at Kane, the
right side of his mouth pulling up into a
smile, causing that adorable dimple to
sink deep into his cheek when it did. He
slowly approached me, then knelt down
beside me at my moms tombstone.
I laid my head on his shoulder and he
took my wrist in his hand. I looked up at
him, not sure what he was doing until I felt
a coolness being draped across my wrist.
When I looked down, I found a charm

braceletno, not a charm bracelet. My

charm bracelet.
Tears immediately pooled in my eyes
and I struggled to speak. I dont
understand. How did you get this? I
choked out. I was sure it had been lost
when it was broken that night, but sure
enough, here it was every charm there,
plus one.
I picked at the new charm, and Kane
leaned in close. That one is from me. I
know this was something from your mom,
and I will completely understand if you
want to take it off, but the jewelry store I
had taken the bracelet to, to have it
repaired, had this charm and after
everything I couldnt help but take it as
a sign that you were meant to have that
charm.

I softly caressed the tiny dandelion with

my fingertip. It was perfect. All this time
the dandelion had represented my mom,
and our longing to be set free from my
dad, but it now also represented Kane. He
had been the one to set me free, like the
trapped dandelion seeds, all I needed was
one tiny puff of air. Kane was my air.
I looked at him and thanked God that I
hadnt given up when I wanted to. That I
chose to keep going even when it hurt too
much. I was more certain now, than ever,
that everything I had ever been through; I
had been through for a reason. Because in
the end, it had led me straight to him, to
Kane. Straight to the one person who
could help me find myself again. The
person that would make me breathe again.

THE END

First and foremost I have to thank my

husband, who has encouraged me to go
after something that I never thought I
would do. He has pushed me and made me
believe in myself when I felt like giving
up. Always cheering me on reassuring me
that people would love Breathe into Me. I
love you J.
My 2 beautiful babies. They may be 6
and 4 years old but they understood
mommy was writing a book and would
give me a few quite hours out of the day to
work on it. What more could I ask for? I

love you K & G!

My sister Nikki for making me write
Breathe into Me. Through her I developed
my love for reading when I borrowed her
Twilight books. When we were at a loss
for the next book to read she suggested I
write one. I never thought I actually would
though. Thank you sister for reading
every little piece I sent you and being
there for me when I had my panic attacks
about releasing. ;)
To my best friend Molly. There are no
words really. I cannot thank you enough
for all you have done for me throughout
this journey. I dont think I would have
ever really gotten to this point in my
journey without you! Im forever grateful
and thankful for our friendship! <3 you so
hard!

Janessa thank you for believing in me

and BIM from the start and taking the time
to read every little bit and piece I would
randomly send you!
There are a few authors that have
shared my pages and my teasers and
helped me gain the following that I have.
You know who you are and I need you to
know that from the bottom of my heart I
will never be able to thank you enough for
the support you have shown a newbie like
myself. It means more to me then you will
ever know!
The blogs and bloggers that have
supported me from day one, this book
goes to you! Bloggers do not get the credit
and acknowledgement for all the work that
they do enough! Authors would be
nowhere without bloggers!

Kim, Holly, Cris you have been there

for me and pimped me from the day I
made my pages for BIM. Thank you
ladies! I <3 you so much!
Stacey B. and Nichele R. Thank you
girls for reading BIM and helping me
watch for my goof ups and being
completely honest with me about my story!
I appreciate it so much!
Tiffany F. and Heather C. you took the
time to read BIM it its beginning stages to
give me some honest feedback. Thank you
girls!
To the newbie authors that have been on
this journey with me never give up!
Look how far we have all come. Im
proud of you. Im proud of me. If you
believe in yourself enough you can make it
happen! <3

When Amanda Stone is not writing she

plays wife and mom to two wild kidlets.
She lives in the beautiful state of Kentucky
where she is a diehard University of
Kentucky Basketball fan. At the end of the
day when she is done being super mom
you can find her curled up with a heating
pad reading a good book.
Friend her on Facebook
www.facebook.com/amandastoneauthor
Follow her on Twitter
@AmandaStone_x

Goodreads
www.goodreads.com/author/show/6622810
Email
author.amandastone@gmail.com
Playlist for Breathe into Me can be found
on the authors Spotify. Find Amanda
Stone on Spotify and subscribe!
Amandas next book, Bittersweet, can be
found on Goodreads.
COMING Winter 2013.

Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author