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MEMOIR
Not Right in the Head_Fullcover.indd 1
m ic h e lle wyat t
NOT RI HT IN TH HEAD
The book captures the emotions, both sad and funny, that are part of a persons Alzheimers journey
and will give readers a better understanding of the magnitude of the condition. I couldnt put it down.
Ita Buttrose, National AmbassadorAlzheimers Australia
m i c h e lle wyat t
A poignant, moving yet funny story that makes you feel like youre sharing the journey.
r o v e m c man u s
24/03/2016 2:58 PM
NOT RI HT
IN TH HEAD
m i c h e ll e
wyat t
The SAGE Test, beginning on page 228, is reproduced with the express permission of
TheOhio State University.
First published in 2016
Copyright Michelle Wyatt 2016
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in
any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior
permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968
(the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever
is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational
purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has
given a remuneration notice to the Copyright Agency (Australia) under the Act.
Allen & Unwin
83 Alexander Street
Crows Nest NSW 2065
Australia
Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100
Email: info@allenandunwin.com
Web: www.allenandunwin.com
Cataloguing-in-Publication details are available
from the National Library of Australia
www.trove.nla.gov.au
ISBN 978 1 76029 056 6
Set in 12.5/19 pt Chapparal Pro by Bookhouse, Sydney
Printed and bound in Australia by Griffin Press
10987654321
C009448
Contents
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Mrs Pitts gone shopping
so Nana would think she had slept all night and totter off
into town for the day, only to find it all dark and deserted
by the time she got there. More confusion.
My mum, unlike her sister, had a drivers licence, so she was
the one called upon when anything went wrong with Nana.
When all of this was going on, Mum was about the same age
as I am now. I have no idea how she coped with the constant
worry and disruptionstrying to look after three kids, with
my dad often away through the week working.
It should have been enough to drive her crazy.
Maybe thats exactly what it did.
2
Leaving on a jet plane
the chance, but the idea of living overseas was rather daunting,
not just for me, but my parents as well.
Once Id made the decision to go, it seemed like I couldnt go
to any supermarket or shopping mall without hearing Leaving
on a Jet Plane streaming over the speakers. That song had
always made me cry, even from a young age. To be honest,
every John Denver song has that effect on me, but this one
in particular could take me from zero to its just the pollen
in the air in seconds.
My parents were excited and heartbroken as they waved
me off at the airport terminal with tears in their eyes. Mum
insisted that I give her a signal, once I was on the plane,
to let her know everything was okay. Im not sure what
shed imagined could go wrong during the journey from the
departure lounge to the actual planethose loading ramps
can be very tricky. Back then, you could actually go out to a
viewing deck and watch the planes take off, so I knew Mum
and Dad would be out there in the freezing cold, waiting for
my signal. I leant across the other passengers seated in my row
and asked if they could raise and lower the window shutter a
few times. If nothing else, Im sure this request signalled to
my seat buddies that, for the next thirteen hours, the crazy
woman in 26C was probably someone they didnt really want
to chit-chat with.
So I had fled the nestbut I still rang my parents every day
to share my daily experiences, which they lapped up. During
these phone calls I could always tell when Mum had visitors
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passports. Mum was sure she had them, but when she opened
her handbag at the check-in counterba-bung!no passports.
Luckily my parents had reached the age where they turned up
at least two hours early for everything, so my sister called a
family friend and navigated them to the hidden spare key at
our house so they could drive the passports to the airport
probably with still enough time for my parents to be first in
line for boarding.)
Each time they made the trip overseas to visit, I would
notice they had both slowed down just that little bit. They
were getting old and I wasnt seeing them every day, so those
little changes that go unnoticed seeing someone face to face
every day become big changes when six months to a year
have passed without seeing them. I spent almost ten years
living overseas, and returned home to find a very different
mother to the one Id left. I had no idea her memory was
getting so bad.
Its funny how you can spend your life expecting something
to happen, and then when it does, you dont even realise its
upon you. Nana had Alzheimers and we all joked that Mum
would also end up with it. Even Mum would often say, If I
end up like Nana, please just put me in a home. (When I was
about ten Nana took me aside and whispered to me, Whatever
you do, dont let them put me in a home. That memory always
appears in my head like something out of a Harry Potter
movie. Not sure what I could have done at the tender age of
ten to stop that happening, but I did feel resentment towards
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in two places, and for three days I told him to Toughen up,
Tiger with a ruffle of the hair. (In my defence, we didnt
realise hed actually broken his wrist, as he could move and
twist his wrist with no painbut obviously I didnt go on to
win Mother of the Year.)
So Mum was gifted with sympathetic illness, shall we
saybut she also had another affliction worthy of an entry in
Ripleys Believe It or Not! Mum could eat a meal and within five
minutes, it would have passed through her system and made
its way out of her colon. We would sit down for a family dinner
and no more than two minutes after finishing, Mum would
excuse herself, then arrive back at the table three minutes
later claiming shed lost the lot. That was just gross on many
levels, but would also infuriate my brother no end. He would
forever be arguing that she did not in fact have a pipe that
ran directly from her mouth to her bum that would result in
food passing through her system in under five minutes.
Well I do, Mum would state proudly.
I looked forward to going to restaurants, where Mum would
finish a beautiful meal, visit the restroom, rejoin the table
and announce: Well, that was an absolute waste of money!
Maybe thats how she kept her slender figure all those years.
She also had a freakish ability to overhear conversations. In
restaurants wed be continually shooshed so she could get
the exact details of all the financial problems the couple three
tables away were experiencing. But her powers extended far
further than that: she could even hear conversations that
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3
Twas the Night Before Alzheimers
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sign up for their newsletters that will keep you up to date with
the latest dementia news. They have resources listed that are
specific to each state so you can get information that is locally
relevant. Their website is <https://fightdementia.org.au>.
If you dont have access to a computeror you are like my
parents were and have a perfectly good computer in the home
but have no clue as to how to, or desire to, use itthen there
is a number you can call, the Australian National Dementia
Helpline, which will point you in the right direction for any
enquiry regarding Alzheimers and dementia. The number is
1800 100 500.
Another helpful organisation is Dementia Care Australia.
They are an independent information and education organisation that specialises in all things Alzheimers and dementia.
They also offer a very comprehensive website with all of
the information and resources listed, but they also offer
a service where family members and carers can sign up to
become a Spark of Life Member. This offers suggestions and
solutions to everyday problems that come from caring for
a loved one with Alzheimers or dementia. Their website is
<www.dementiacareaustralia.com>.
The Alzheimers Association is a voluntary health organisation that focuses on Alzheimers care, support and research.
Their website is very comprehensive in providing education,
resources and awareness of Alzheimers. Go to <www.alz.org/
au/dementia-alzheimers-australia.asp>.
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<www.helpwithdementia.org.au>
<www.isitdementia.com.au>
<www.livingwellwithdementia.org.au>
<www.start2talk.org.au>
<www.talkdementia.org.au>
<www.valuingpeople.org.au>
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