08

WARNING! CONTENTS MAY KEEP YOU UP!

THE
GUIDE TO SEX
Contents Page POSITIONS TO MASTER 12
SEXPERTISE 2 Take her on a rodeo ride or
Stats on studs, great gear and explore the X-File tonight.
how you can last the distance.
SEX TABOOS 16
SEX-ERCISES 6 Everything you wanted to try
Get your love muscles in shape. – and how to get her to join in.

SENSUAL MASSAGE 8 LOVE LETTERS 22

THE Rub her up the erotic way. A-to-Z advice for a seduction
session that’ll rate a perfect 10.
INFALLIBLE FOREPLAY 10
How to drive a good girl bad. REAL MEN ROMANCE 26
Romantic recipes that’ll have

GUIDE TO
her eating out of your hand.

SHE SAID IT 32
12 SEXIEST THINGS

SEX
EVER SAID BY WOMEN

08
20
1)050(3"1)
*450$,1)050$0.

SEX-ERCISES | SENSUAL MASSAGE | INFALLIBLE FOREPLAY | POSITIONS TO MASTER | SEX TABOOS EDITOR PETER FROST
ART DIRECTOR CHRISTOPHER LEE JONES
DESIGNER EMMA FRANKAL
PICTURE EDITOR ALEXANDRA BULL
PACKSHOT PHOTOGRAPHY JAMES GARAGHTY
CONTRIBUTORS GOTLHOKWANG ANGOMA, LOU SCHULER ,
JOANNA HALL, ZACHARY VEILLEU, TRACY ERB, NICK HADLEY

2008 MH SEX GUIDE 1

SEXPERTISE | Hot Numbers
Between the Sheets
It’s commonly said that opposites attract, but when it comes to sex,
men and women have (thankfully) plenty in common
MEN WOMEN
Doggy-style sex The sexual activity
most likely to bring a man to orgasm.
7 Percentage of men who will answer
a telephone during sex.
23 Percentage of men who’ve faked
an orgasm.
4-in-10 Number of men who
would sleep with a woman
even though she didn’t ask
them to use a condom.
42 Percentage of men
who’ve fantasised about
having sex with their best
mate’s wife.
1-in-20 Number of men who’ve
had an orgasm from using exer-
cise equipment.
2.5 months The lifespan of
a single sperm in a man’s body.
Men with a university education
are twice as likely to be homosexual
than those without.
1-in-5 Number of men who say that the
size of a woman’s chest is important.
16 Percentage of men who think about
sex every 20 minutes.
2 MH SEX GUIDE 2008
Last the Distance | SEXPERTISE
Body Talk
Work the flattery
When you approach a woman’s body,
you should first exercise your tongue
Cunnilingus The sexual activity most likely to its fullest potential
to make a woman come. – conversationally, that is.
22 Percentage of women who will answer the > HAIR
phone while shagging. (“Hello, Paris speaking.”) Keep it general, like how
it shines. No style tips: she
56 Percentage of women who have done might blame you if they
a “Meg Ryan”. don’t work.
1-in-10 Number of women who > BREASTS
would still sleep with a man if Avoid offensive terms: “knockers”,
he didn’t “don a raincoat”. “udders” and so on. Create
your own vocabulary.
CLIMAX TO THE MAX
By working one small muscle at the gym, at
25 Percentage of women who’ve “Women fall in love your desk or while fishing, you can increase your
fantasised about having sex with with what they hear,” orgasmic power and lower the risk of impotence
their best mate’s husband. (We think reveals Ann Convery, – without getting arrested. Get a grip with these
that’s a compliment.) a communications techniques:
expert. Kegel exercises are used to tone up and
1-in-5 Number of women who have had strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle (PC),
an orgasm from using exercise equipment. > LIPS which is involved in orgasm and ejaculation.
Talk size, shape, colour. Be specific about How to find your pc muscle
5 to 7 days The lifespan of a sperm in features that are unique to her. Stop and restart your urination. The muscle
a woman’s body after sex. you’re flexing is the PC.
> BUTT The basic kegel exercise
Tertiary-educated women are
nine times more likely
“Use jargon like ‘booty’. ‘Backside’ and ‘rear’
sound old-fashioned,” Convery advises. “Con- 1 Contract the muscle and hold for a count
of 10, then relax.
to be lesbian. vince her you love it; adore it, claim it, name it.”
2 Repeat. Aim for at least 10 sets, several
times a day.
> STOMACH
1)050(3"1)4
*450$,1)050$0.
1-in-5 Number With your PC muscles now firmly toned over
1)050(3"1)
*450$,1)050$0.
of women who Discuss her softer angles and curves when several weeks, your favourite body part will be
say that penis size she’s on her back, so her stomach is flat. more powerful than a medieval battering ram.
is important. (But a lot more welcome.)
> LEGS If you contract the PC muscle during
6 Percentage of women who think about sex every Say they’re in good shape. You’ll lose cred- sex, it acts like the brakes on a car and can halt
20 minutes. ibility if you say you love them and she doesn’t. ejaculation, while still allowing you to orgasm.
2008 MH SEX GUIDE 3
SEXPERTISE | Hot Numbers Last the Distance | SEXPERTISE

Globe Trotter’s Sex Stats

How do we compare to the rest of the world when it comes to sex?
Pleasure Gaming
Open the Men’s Health pleasure chest for the latest in sex accessories
We review the data
> Whet™ Lube Adding some lube to

1 Each day, there are over

120 million people having
sex all over the world.
5 Sexual partners the
world over 9 Globally, twice as many
men (64 percent) as
women regularly have
your sensual play enhances almost
every situation. Available in the unfla-
voured and unscented Extra Virgin,
M F
orgasms. or two seductive flavours: Vanillicious
USA 13 9
2 Globally, 60 percent of
people say sex is fun. Japan
UK
14
16
8
10 10 Amount of time
needed for a man
and SlipBerry. R45 each

> The Delight A vibrator made to

3 Globally, people are hav-

ing sex 103 times a year,
while 35- to 44-year-olds are
South Africa
Australia
18
25
7
10
to regain erection: from two
minutes to two weeks.
stimulate the G-spot; the Delight
provides five intense vibration set-
tings and three pulsation settings.
Russia 28 17
getting the most action. Here’s She’ll love you for this. R1 450
how we stack up with the
world on having sex weekly: 6 Percentage of women
who want sex every day > Go Girl Spray Stimulating spray that
encourages blood flow for her and will
HAVING SEX WEEKLY WANTING DAILY SEX make her sensitive to your touch. R220
USA 53% China 15%
UK 55% UK 20% SELF > Rude Boy A hands-free toy that com-
Australia 60% Brazil 22%
SERVICE bines a vibrating massage of the prostate
France 70% Portugal 27% What the average South FLIP TO A FLICK and perineum glands, promoting
stronger erections and a more
South Africa 71% South Africa 33% African woman gets up to: Movies to get you moving...
intense orgasm for men. R750
Brazil 82% Russia 34%
> Percentage of women who Erotic DVDs are sex toys too. Here are some

4 Globally, 44 percent of
people are sexually satis-
The Netherlands and
Philippines tie with a miniscule
own a vibrator that is 20cm
long 15
films that she will love :
Last Tango in Paris
> Muree Vibrating Cock Ring
Prolongs and strengthens erec-

1"$,4)054
+".&4
("3"()5:
fied. Leading the pack is India
– with 61 percent satisfied. And
surprisingly the French get the
lowest satisfaction with 25
percent. Where we stand:
SEXUALLY SATISFIED
14 percent of their women not
wanting sex every day.
7 Fifty-one percent of
women say they mastur-
bate in front of their partner.
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> Percentage of women Marlon Brando before he got fat, in the hottest tions for you and gives great clito-
who‘ve had sex up to five- anal-sex film ever. ral stimulation for her. R240
times in a day 8 Deep Throat
> Percentage of women who
admit to feeling their most
turned on during their ovula-
The fellatio classic.
9 ½ Weeks
A mainstream film about S&M.
> Mycero Finger Vibes A clitoral stim-
ulator that fits on your finger. You’ll
have the Midas touch. R240
tion period 75 Kama Sutra

8
France 25% One-third of women who > Percentage of women who A modern Indian erotic film by director > Toy Joy Cleaner An antifungal and anti-
UK 40% meet people online have claim to have had an orgasm Mira Nair. bacterial spray for the concerned. ’Cause
Australia 42% sex on the first date, and a while asleep 58 Unfaithful sex doesn’t have to be that dirty. R160
Brazil 42% whopping three-quarters > Percentage of women who An enmeshed story of love, betrayal, and really
of those surveyed do not use would love to masturbate hot, angry sex. All available at Whet Sensuality Emporium at www.whet.
USA 48%
a condom. in front of you 48 (Get these from Push Play at www.pushplay.co.za.) co.za (* Prices are subject to exchange-rate fluctuations.)
South Africa 50%

4 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 5

 SEX-ERCISES | Muscle SexSex | SEX-ERCISES
Tipstips | SEXPERTISE

Learn Her Secrets

Avoiding her turn-offs is as important as hitting her hot spots.
Follow this masterclass to hot-wire her circuits

The problem: Her wandering mind

Women are programmed to be responsive
to danger, says Peta Heskell, founder of the
Attraction Academy. “‘Will someone walk in?
Can the kids hear?’ The stress stops her body
producing oestrogen.” And that’s a hormone
you really need to flow. It sends blood rushing
to the genitals and triggers lubrication.
The solution
“Remove external distractions,” says Dr Pam
Spurr, author of Fabulous Foreplay. “Bright

Sex-ercises
Simple workouts to build muscles that turn her on – and set her off
lights and loud sounds are stressors, so cut
them out with mood lighting and soft music.”
Next, give her a hand. Or maybe two. “Stroking
The problem: Her post -
orgasm disinterest
her skin releases oxytocin,” says professor of Wake up boys – you’re not the only ones
psychology Diane Witt. “And this causes a who can’t be bothered after the act.
Bending Side Press Kneeling Hip- rush of pleasure-enhancing endorphins.” We’ve all developed a post-passion
Use two hands to hoist flexor Stretch “off-switch”. Levels of the hormone
the barbell or EZ-curl bar As your left knee (the one in The problem: Being rough prolactin soar by 400 percent,
to your shoulder, then front) goes forward, you’ll If you fail to handle her clitoris with care, which sends dopamine levels
press it overhead. Do six feel the stretch on the right you’ll be showering early – by yourself. Too plummeting, and this mecha-
to eight repetitions with side of your pelvis. If you’re much too soon turns most women off. nism shifts attention else-
your weaker arm (your after a deeper and more During arousal, blood rushes to erectile where: to hunting and gather-
left if right-handed), then advanced stretch, try leaning tissue in her clitoris, causing it to emerge ing, building shelters and so on.
repeat the set with your back slightly. Hold for 15 from under the hood. Touch her here before Without this natural, protective
strong arm. to 30 seconds on each side. she’s ready and you’ll be stroking her urethra, shutdown, we would pursue sex to
which hurts. the exclusion of all other activities.
The solution The solution
Wide-grip Turn her on slowly. “Start by touching her back, Back off for three full minutes.
Romanian arms and thighs,” says Tracey Cox, author Then, if you want to encourage
Dead Lift of The Sex Doctor. “Use both hands to round two, the oxytocin released
1)050(3"1)4
*450$,1)050$0.

Dumbbell Vice-grip Pull-over
Hold a pair of light dumbbells over your fore-
head, elbows bent at 90-degrees. Lower the
dumbbells behind your head, then lift back
for eight to 12 reps.
Using a wide, over- stroke her thighs until they open wider. by gentle touch will take her back
hand grip, lower the And when you do go for the bull’s-eye, to the start of the arousal process.
bar below your knees, stroke her clitoris through her panties. But be a gentle man. Her cervix
bending them slightly If she isn’t 100 percent physically ready, remains open, and therefore more
and keeping your back flat. Thrust your hips for- the fabric provides a barrier to prevent sensitive, for at least half an hour
ward as you return. Do this once or twice a week. over-stimulation and soreness.” after orgasm.

6 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 7

 SENSUAL MASSAGE | Seduction
The Good Oil On
Sensual Massage
You want sex, but she’s too stressed? That won’t be a problem if you
follow our essential (and sensual) tips on how to rub her up the right way
1 8
Stroking With your fore-
finger or middle finger,
draw long lines gently
along the spine and the con-
tours of her body, as if holding
a pencil.
2 9
The dots Using the

1"$,4)05
+".&4
("3"()5:
forefinger, middle fin-
ger, lips or tongue,
move up and down the body.
3
Jingling Move the
pads of your fingertips
along her body as
though playing a keyboard
4
Tickling Focus on the
erogenous zones – the
soft skin of the inner
8 MH SEX GUIDE 2008
elbow, behind the knee and
the inner thigh.
5
Polishing Keeping
your fingers together,
polish the surface
of her skin gently, using circu-
lar motions.
6
The rails Draw lightly
along the skin, follow-
ing two imaginary par-
allel lines, with your forefinger
and middle finger.
7 1O
The feather Either
with a real feather or
the tips of your fingers,
brush the surface of her skin
gently and intermittently.
Boudouirs | SENSUAL MASSAGE
Bedroom
Basics
Five golden rules of her room
that you should always obey
1
Don’t change your technique. You
may think showing off your reper-
toire of finger acrobatics will bring
her super-strong orgasms. It won’t. Most
women complain their partners had often
left them on the brink by changing technique.
2
BEDROOM ANTICS
Creating a romantic ambience
Eight minutes of stimulation.
That’s the average it takes for You don’t have to book the honeymoon suite
a woman to orgasm. to get some excitement back in the bedroom.
Scratching Sketch Sometimes making small changes in ambience
lines up and down her 3 can have a big effect on the sex. What you want
body with your finger- Half that time. By getting her is to turn your bedroom into a lover’s den.
nails, pressing firmly, but to squeeze her thighs, buttocks, Candles, incense and enticing linens make the
don’t leave more than a slight stomach and pelvic floor muscles difference. Get cotton sateen sheets that have
red mark on her skin. you can get there in four. This stimulates her a thread count of 400 (double fitted sheet R399
body’s natural preparation for orgasm. and pillow cases R150 from Woolworths). Top
The comb Splay the it up with mood enhancing oils that can be used
1)050(3"1)4
*450$,1)050$0.
fingers of one hand 4 for a sensual massage or in the bath. Foreplay
a centimetre or two Check on comfort. Lying or sitting has never been this pleasurable (R70 each at
apart and stroke her skin comfortably is 50 percent more Whet Emporium).
using downward strokes important for women than men If you are concerned about your furniture you
– especially across the back, in sex. And will significantly lengthen the odds can use the wet games sport-sheet and hang
stomach and legs. of a mega-orgasm. it over your furniture if you begin to get too
playful (R375, at
The spider Let 5 www.matildas.
your fingers “walk” Introduce anything new up front. co.za). Take it
across her skin like Whipping out an unexpected sex toy a step further
a spider, one after the other. or your best mate mid-session is off and shop for fun sex
Oh, the anticipation! putting to most women. Talk about it before the furniture at Mat-
evening’s entertainment gets under way. ilda’s online store.
2008 MH SEX GUIDE 9
 INFALLIBLE FOREPLAY
THE GAMES
WE PLAY
Want to drive her wild in bed? Here are the seven essential tips that’ll do the trick
1
START WITH
HER HANDS
> Hold one of her hands
gently in both of yours and
kiss the backs of her fingers.
Fingers are a woman’s most
ignored erogenous zones,
according to our local
manicurist.
> Turn her hand over and
work your way to her wrist.
Keep your mouth closed.
Press your lips gently into
that tender area above her
10 MH SEX GUIDE 2008
palm. Do this until you can
feel her pulse.
Time required One minute
2
TIME FOR
LIGHT KISSING
> Start with her bot-
tom lip. Put it between your
lips and kiss it lightly. She
should hardly know you’re
there. (If she falls asleep,
she doesn’t know you’re
there at all. Kiss a bit
harder, Fonzy.)
more than a third of the way
into her mouth. Instead, use
the tip of your tongue to play
with the tip of hers, the
inside of her lips and the
edges of her teeth.
Time required Two minutes
4
NOW, KISS
ALL OF HER
> Most men simply
work their way down a wom-
an’s body – mouth, breasts,
navel and so on. Unfort-
unately, it’s not arousing
because she knows exactly
where you’re headed. So
surprise her:
> Focus on overlooked areas:
her inner thighs, the backs
of her knees, behind her ear
lobes and the tops of her
breasts (not her nipples).
Jump from spot to spot.
> Use small, sucking kisses.
Add pressure with the tip
of your tongue.
> After kissing one area,
gently blow on it. She’ll get
> Next, her upper lip, then a chill – that’s a good thing.
throat, ear lobes and eyelids. Time required Four minutes
Keep your lips together, eyes
5
open and tongue in your USE YOUR HANDS
mouth. For now. > Be gentle with her
> As you kiss, gently stroke breasts. If her nip-
her arms and back with ples aren’t erect, don’t
1)050(3"1)4
*450$,1)050$0.
your fingernails. clamp down or twist them.
Time required Three minutes Instead, use the flat of your
palm to rub her entire
3
GO A BIT HEAVIER breast in a circular motion.
> A common com- Start lightly and increase
plaint – too much the pressure as she becomes
tongue. Never extend yours more excited.
Last the Distance | SEXPERTISE
> Once her nipples are firm,
take them between two wet
fingers and slide them back
and forth, but don’t squeeze.
Time required Two minutes
6
HEAD SOUTH
> Rather than going
straight for the clit-
oris, spend some time strok-
ing her outer lips with one
or two fingers. That will
provide indirect stimulation
to the clitoris, which is all
she’s ready for right now.
Use long, slow strokes.
> Carefully part her labia
and use your thumb and
forefinger to gently stroke
along the sides of her clitoris
and inner lips. Don’t actually
touch the clitoris just yet
– you’ll know when she’s
ready.
Time required Three minutes
7
THE LAST HOT TIP . . .
> Check her for
important signs
of arousal: erect nipples.
Heavy breathing. A firm
clitoris. Fingernail
scratches bleeding across
your back. If they’re all
present, kiss her deeply as
you slowly enter her. Pause
for several seconds, then
start thrusting like a space
shuttle in fifth. Foreplay’s
now officially over, so you
can go forth and ravage
your woman with the grace
of an animal.
2008 MH SEX GUIDE 11
 SEXPERTISETO
POSITIONS
STIMULATION MASTER
| Hot Numbers

10
THE QUICKIE THE DOUBLE WHOPPER

SEXUAL
You want sex and she wants
to watch Oprah?
> How to do it With her back to
you, she places one leg on
An ideal position if you want to caress her
from her thighs to her breasts.
> How to do it Lie down on your back and ask
your partner to take a seat, with her back to

POSITIONS
a chair and you enter you. She can then either sit upright
her from behind, hold- (moving up and down your penis)
ing onto her hips for or lean forwards or

EVERY MAN SHOULD MASTER balance. And since

this is a quickie, you
backwards slightly,
allowing you free
don’t even need to rein with her
TWO-IN-ONE HUNGARIAN LEG SCISSORS strip off – just hitch breasts and
If you’re still in the dark as to where her Looking for a completely new method up her skirt! clitoris.
elusive G-spot is, this position guarantees of entry? Try this technique.
you’ll find it, intrepid adventurer. > How to do it Lie down on your back with your MR UNIVERSE THE X-FILE
> How to do it The lucky lady lies on her back legs spread. She sits and slides down onto This position will push An ideal position for polishing your tech-
with her legs widely spread and feet your erection, then moves onto her side your strength and your nique and improving your sexual stamina.
resting on your shoulders or chest. slightly while you stamina to the limit – and > How to do it Sit down and stretch out your
You kneel between her legs and gently move she’ll love you for it, you legs, then get your partner to sit down on
enter her. Because of the your bodies he-man you. top of you and lean backwards so your
angle of her hips in relation together. > How to do it Get onto your bodies form the letter “X”. You won’t be able
to your penis you’ll inev- The penetra- knees and ask her to lower her- to thrust deeply,
itably hit her G-spot tion feels unusual self onto your erection while facing so gently rock
(located in the front at the tip you. As she does, she wraps her legs back and forth.
wall of her vagina). of the penis. around your waist and puts her You’ll be able to
arms around your neck. Then slowly hold out longer
TV DINNER BATWOMAN stand and bounce your part- and she’ll
The passionate alternative to television, you If you’re an amateur acrobat and fancy ner up and down. come first.
lounge around in comfort, watch something some sophisticated oral sex,
smutty and occasionally press a few buttons. try this advanced technique. RIDE ’EM RODEO THE BABY-MAKER
> How to do it Sit leaning against a wall or the > How to do it This is a standing Why do all the work during sex when she can The perfect position for couples who are
headboard, with a pillow under your back. version of the classic 69 posi- do it for you? trying to conceive and/or enjoy particularly
Get your partner to slide onto your erection, tion. She’ll need to do a > How to do it Lie flat on your back and she deep penetration.
with her face towards you. Then hold her handstand and spread straddles you. She hops and bobs, while you > How to do it She lies on her stomach with
by the hips or grab her bum and move her her legs. You then get play with her breasts and enjoy a pillow placed under her pelvis. Her hips
backwards and forwards. A great position on your knees, grab her the visual feast. Yee-haa! will tilt forward and her bum will
for combining your around the waist and It’s easier for her to climax come up against you. Now enter
two favourite lift her up so that she can as she can control both her from behind. In this posi-
*--6453"5*0/4
53"*/*"$$0;"

activities: having support her hands on your the direction and speed. tion, your semen will
sex and doing thighs. You stick out your Her clitoris is also stimu- land right in the area
nothing. Oh, and tongue and she goes to work lated by your of her cervix, which
she’ll like the on the body part nearest to pubic bone as is ideal for
eye contact. her mouth. you thrust. conception.

12 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 13

SEX TABOOS
M`YiXkfij
YES 47% NO 19%
of women use say they’d never
them alone or want to try them
with their
partner
...and another 34 percent
say they’d like to try them
“Diamonds aren’t
she
a girl’s best friend,
says
vibrators are.
Every woman should have
at least one.”
“My boyfriend enjoys
N`ccpfl6
watching me use it and
because we have a long-
distance relationship, he likes
to hear about all the times I’ve
used it when he calls.”
“Using a vibrator is the only
way I can orgasm. My hus-
NfeËkpfl6
band isn’t inadequate, I just
can’t orgasm any
other way.”
>
THE EXPERTS SAY
Many women have
learnt to climax with a vibra-
tor – they can produce much
In an anonymous poll, more intense stimulation than
we asked 1 000 women her own hand or your body.
for their opinions of our But don’t make the mistake
secret sexual fantasies – of assuming she’s the only one
you know, the ones who can enjoy electric sex.
Vibrators can make sex
that all blokes are too
more uninhibited and fun.
1)050(3"1)
%*(*5"-
7*4*0/
nervous to mention to They can be used during
their wives or girlfriends. intercourse while you pene-
Here’s what they said... trate her or you can put it
against your tongue during
oral sex.
16 MH SEX GUIDE 2008
>iflgJ\o
YES 14% NO 50%
have actually say that the idea
tried it turns them
off completely
...and 36 percent admit
they’ve thought about it.
“My partner and
she
I joke about it, but
says
I think the conse-
quences of trying it aren’t
worth the risk.”
“There’s a lot of baggage
with group sex. I don’t think
I could handle the jealousy
and stress.”
“My boyfriend and I have
a good sex life. Introducing
a third person would be like
infidelity in our faces.”
“I’d be too self-conscious
for full-on sex, but get
turned on by the idea
of group kissing
or stroking.”
>
THE EXPERTS SAY
Group sex shouldn’t be
entered into lightly. Make
sure you discuss what you’re
comfortable with and how
far you want to take it.
Ensure you can handle the
aftermath. Many people who
thought they could deal with
the emotional baggage are
upset by jealousy or feelings
of inadequacy, asking them-
selves: “Aren’t I enough
for her?”
2008 MH SEX GUIDE 17
 STIMULATION
SEX TABOOS

GlY`ZJ_Xm`e^ 8eXcGcXp “I’m afraid that it would hurt too

much. That orifice is probably best
YES 40% NO 15% YES 14% NO 50% suited for only one purpose.”
of women shave would rather stay have actually say that the idea

>
it all or leave a as Mother Nature tried it turns them
few strategically intended off completely
placed tufts THE EXPERTS SAY
The anus is full of nerve endings that
...and the rest have tried it, ...while another 36 percent have toyed with
provide extreme pleasure when stimulated
but were less than pleased the idea.
correctly. “Anal sex shouldn’t hurt if it’s done
with the results.
“I didn’t try it until I hit 34 and right. The most common problem is that cou-
“Oral sex feels she
then it was with a partner I chose ples try to start off with it. That’s not how it
says
she amazing when purely for sex. I would do it again, will ever work. You need to go slowly, with
says
I’m shaven!” but I would be worried about what a partner maybe just a fingertip and a lot of lube. Try
“It’s much more attractive would think if I asked for it. It was good, but that a few times before inserting anything big-
and sensitive.” only because I was really turned on. I think ger,” advises Joannides. But never mix anal
“I’ve tried all stages and vaginal sex is better.” and vaginal sex without washing well.
like clean shaven – I can feel
sensations so much
better down there.”

> THE EXPERTS SAY

“Some guys get really
turned on by this because it’s
easier to lick and can give a
great visual charge,” accord-
ing to Paul Joannides, author
of The Guide to Getting It On.

alone in the office.”

J\o@eGlYc`Z “It’s so stimulating! It’s such
a turn-on knowing we
YES 85% NO 5% could be caught!”
of women always keep

>
are doing it indoors
it in public
1)050(3"1)4
*450$,1)050$0.

THE EXPERTS SAY

...and another 10 percent When couples complain
have thought about it. that their sex life is becoming too
predictable, therapists suggest
“I’ve done it out in changing where they make love.
she
the country, on the For example, try it in your car on
says
beach and even a dark street.

18 MHGTS 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 19

 SEX TABOOS
?fd\Dfm`\j
YES 25% NO 15%
of women in our would rather watch
poll enjoy their own a movie than
skin flicks star in it
...and 60 percent have con-
sidered getting the camera
out with their partners.
“I would love to
she
do it, but have a
says
fear of it getting
into the wrong hands.”
“It slightly intrigues me,
but I don’t think I want to
see the proof over and over.
But we have had lots of sex
in front of mirrors.”
“I’d allow my boyfriend
as long as he promised never
to show it to anyone else.”
“Video is definitely
on the ‘must-do’ list.”
>
THE EXPERTS SAY
Some couples find that
filming their love-making
sessions and watching them
together helps them to be
more open with each other,
getting rid of inhibitions.
But many women are wary
of it – not because they don’t
want to participate, but
because they’ve heard horror
stories about the film getting
into the wrong hands.
Thanks to digital cameras,
this can be avoided. You can
erase digital pictures after
you’ve viewed the action.
20 MH SEX GUIDE 2008
C`^_k9fe[X^\
YES 70% NO 20%
of women enjoy a responded
little light bondage with an emphatic
– or would like “absolutely
to try it not!”
...and 10 percent were
too tied up to answer.
“Being bound
she
really appeals to
says
my naughty side.”
“Handcuffs are great – I
love the feeling of no control.”
“I’d experiment with ropes
and blindfolds, but only with
a long-term partner.”
“I’ve done it all – handcuffs,
<ifk`Z<ek\ikX`ed\ek whips, hot wax. The
idea of it turns me on!”
>
YES 60% NO 15%
of women have of women would
watched an adult rather curl up with THE EXPERTS SAY
movie with their you to watch Light bondage is very
partner CSI on TV
popular because people enjoy
giving up power to someone
...and another 25 percent say they’d like to pop on a sexy they trust. (It’s best to use
>
DVD now and then. quality props.)
“It’s arousing. THE EXPERTS SAY As with any sadomasochis-
And it’s where I Forget the idea that tic (S&M) behaviour, always
she learnt some of my men are the only visually agree on a “safe” word in
says
best techniques!” stimulated creatures. advance – one that both of
“We have lots of porn flicks Women also respond physio- you can use if things get too
and they get us both excited. logically to sexual images. intense for one partner.
Sometimes it takes more But be clear about what
than just each other to turn kind of sexual acts you and SO IT’S OKAY TO GO FOR willing to do and put them in a ask,” say our respondents.
1)050(3"1)4
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us on.” your partner want to see IT... BUT HOW DO I BRING hat. Take turns selecting your Most women just want their
“I love watching dirty (and don’t want to see) in UP THE SUBJECT? method of entertainment for men to be up-front with them
movies, but we never get to advance so there are no A more creative approach the evening. and respect their choice.
the end. We usually nasty surprises. “Make it a game,” advises Popping the question The “I’ll listen to anything he
end up groping Joannides. Both of you write best way for you to suggest an says with an open mind, but
after 10 minutes!” down, on separate bits of idea to spice up your sex life is he has to agree not to be angry
paper, five things you’d be simple. “All you have to do is if I don’t want to do it.”
2008 MH SEX GUIDE 21
 k
STIMULATION
LOVE LETTERS

he first thing they taught you in school, besides that bit about
glue not being food, was the alphabet. Why? Because once you
had that down pat, the rest of the English language was at your
fingertips. It’s the same with sex: once you know the basics,
you can string small tricks together to guarantee your partner
a triple-letter-scoring orgasm. Here are 26 good reasons
(strangely, in alphabetical order) to learn the ABCs of S-E-X.

8i\fcX <oZlj\j the juice of one lime, a

Women’s nipples and She’s got a headache? In clove of garlic (minced).
areolas, the dark circles your worst Barry White Season with salt and pep-
around them, are two to voice, say, “I’ve got just per. Apply liberally.

J\[lZ\
three times less sensitive
than her index finger, so
use a firmer touch here
when dialling.
the thing, baby” and
gently stimulate her
G-spot. The pressure will
make her feel pain far
less intensely. Massage
?Xggp_fli
Keen on baby-making?
“Your best chance of con-
ceiving is in the late after-

_\i%%%
9XZbj`[\
German researchers say
31 percent of women like
ogling our bums, so tone
your butt. Lunges, dead
lifts and lying leg curls
will give you choice cheeks
for lovin’.
:`^Xi\kk\j
What’s the secret to a perfect performance in bed? It’s as simple as A, B, C About 30 percent of smok-
ers experience impotence.
But quit now and you’ll
lower your flop risk to
where it was in your pre-
puffing days.
;iM`Y\
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it manually or go the
woman-on-top and rear-
entry positions, dawg.
=\Xi
Women hear enough hor-
ror stories about the nice-
guy-as-sexual-predator to
be wary of loners. If you
see a woman at a party
who you’d like to meet,
find a mutual acquaint-
ance to introduce you,
preferably a female one.
>lXZXdfc\
The avocado is high in
vitamin E, magnesium,
noon or early evening,”
advises researcher Dr
Angelo Cagnacci.
@epfli_Xe[j
There’s no “i” in sex, but
there is in masturbation. If
sperm isn’t ejaculated after
about 70 days, it begins to
age and build up. So it’s only
healthy to occasionally get
a grip and release it.
A`bXnXp
Many people derive more
satisfaction from a clean
house than from sex,
according to Home and

The Sabar vibrator is all
about exploration in all
the right places and the
size is perfect for just
about everyone. R600 at
www.hustlerextreme.co.za.
potassium and zinc,
which boosts libido and
increases sexual stamina.
Peel and mash two
of them and stir in a
chopped onion, a tomato,
Garden Television in the
US. That’s bad news for
slobs. Invest in a house-
cleaning service and
put her feather duster
to better use.

22 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 23

 STIMULATION
LOVE LETTERS

B`e[e\jj%%% E\\[p6 day. We know a guy who Jligi`j\

Is what you could exper-
ience if she takes agnus
castus. German researchers
studied 170 women taking
the herb and found more
than half had at least a
50 percent reduction in
PMS symptoms, including
irritability, a lack of energy
and tender breasts.
C$Xi^`e`e\
It’s time to go nuts...
L-arginine, an amino
acid found in peanuts,
increases blood flow in
the body and acts as a
signal for sexual arousal.
It’s the only nutrient
proven to increase sexual
satisfaction in women.
DXk\
In search of true love?
Have a female friend at
your side and tell a few
jokes. US research shows
that a man is 50 to 100
percent more desirable to
women when other ladies
say they like him.
Try not to be. Women rank
self-confidence as one of
the sexiest qualities in
a man. “Stand tall and
make direct eye contact,”
according to Dr William
Fitzgerald, a sex therapist.
“And above all else, smile.
It goes a long way.”
Fc[Jg`Z\
Be a devil and spritz
some cologne on her pillow.
Women who smell men’s
cologne while fantasising
become more aroused.
The top scents include
DKNY Be Delicious,
Ralph Lauren Polo Blue
and Incanto Pour Homme
by Salvatore Ferragamo.
J\okXcb\c\mXk\jk_\\oZ`k\d\ekc\m\c`e_\i
Y\ZXlj\`kki`^^\ij]XekXj`\jXe[k_\]\\c`e^
f]Y\`e^[\j`i\[#dXb`e^_\i_fiep
G\iZ\ekX^\j
In the sex game, anyone
can strike it rich with
the right strategy. Talk
to one new woman every
did this 100 days straight Women hate same-old sex.
and recorded a 66 percent Scientists say the sensors
strike rate. in the brain react more
strongly to pleasure when
Hl`Zb`\ it’s unexpected. Next time
Sometimes women just you’re in bed, blindfold
want a quickie. But how her with a scarf and then
do you know when we’re randomly touch and taste
up for it? If you’re firmer her.
and more impulsive and
she responds, go with it. KXcb`klg
Preferably before the light Sex talk elevates the
turns green or the waiter excitement level in women
returns with the soup. because it triggers fantasies
and the feeling of being
IfY`ejfe#Dij desired, making women
Tired of striking out with horny and helping to reach
your sister’s friends? Try orgasm, says sex therapist
picking up at Mum’s tennis Dr Gabrielle Morrissey.
club instead. Older women
are closer to their sexual L$jgfk
The U-spot’s at the opening
to the urethra, just above
the vagina where there are
rich nerve endings. Gently
stimulate it with your
peaks and chances are fingers and tongue.
they’ll think you’re much
better looking too – even MX^`eXc8$jgfk stimulate the clitoris and Pfli_\Xik
as you age, surveys show. Located on the front wall your fingers to enter her Men can cut their risk
of the vagina, a third of vagina. of cardiovascular disease
the way down from the in half by having sex
cervix. Find it with deep OFOFOF three to four times a week.
penetration, doggie-style. Readers of Cosmopolitan
Qqqqqqqqqq
1)050(3"1)4
*450$,1)050$0.

and She in the US say a

N\\bcp
...is how often 48 percent
of women are tinkering
with their own toys. Want
to get in on the action? Use
the heel of your palm to
bad kiss had put them off Roughly half of men who
going any further with snore also have problems
a man. And a good kiss with erections. Snoring
was enough to seal the can usually be cured with
deal. Remember: practise outpatients laser surgeries
makes perfect. that take about 7 minutes.

24 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 25

REAL MEN ROMANCE
Tonight’s
the Night
Turn into her Prince of Passion with our ultimate “lay”man’s guide
to hosting a romantic evening
Y
ou’ve done crunches until your abs
are black and blue. And, nobly,
you’ve researched all her secret
erogenous zones and even commit-
ted yourself to spending more
than 30 seconds on foreplay.
But as most women will admit, you can
be a sexual Minotaur in bed – chances are
1)050(3"1)
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it’ll leave her feeling emotionally empty,
and only half-satisfied, if there’s no rom-
ance or effort involved from you.
Sex-expert Anne Hooper, author of
several sex guides, says romantic feelings
26 MH SEX GUIDE 2008
act as the supporting girders of a relation-
ship and prevent it toppling.
“The firmer the structure of love,” adds
Hooper, “the better you’ll feel about each
other and the greater the incentive to stay
together.”
Best of all, romance is also what keeps
you working at sex if it doesn’t go well at
first. The idea in being romantic is to make
a woman believe that, at a specific point
in time, only she matters. To help you with
this, we’ve put together a fail-safe guide
for the ultimate romantic evening.
2008 MH SEX GUIDE 27
 REAL
STIMULATION
MEN ROMANCE
Before She Arrives:
> Set the scene Nerves can
make you overlook a house
in utter disarray. Inspect
the whole place (especially
the bathroom) for dirt, soiled
clothing and Polaroids of
ex-girlfriends. Small touches
like new soap and fresh tow-
els will go a long way.
> Buff the bed Buy 100 per-
cent cotton sheets. You’ll pay
more, but they’ll feel better
than blended fabric. Select
neutral colours: white, beige
or cream. Look for a thread
count of at least 200.
> Ignite the lighting
Candlelight’s a no-brainer.
For the bedroom, go dim for
a warm glow. Buy some 15-
to 25-watt bulbs.
If she’s self-conscious
about her body, fit a desk
lamp with a low-wattage
“soft-light” bulb, then tilt the
shade away from your part-
If she’s self-conscious, fit a desk lamp
with a low-wattage “soft-light” bulb,
then tilt the shade away from her,
so that the light reflects off the wall
ner so the light reflects off a
nearby wall. This is known
as “bouncing” and will com-
plement her curves while
hiding her flaws.
> Music, your weapon of
mass seduction Music can
have subliminal effects.
Slow “heartbeat” music
28 MH SEX GUIDE 2008
makes our heart rate slow,
muscles relax and loosen our
posture, causing our skin
to conduct more heat. Music
also helps us let go of the dis-
tracting thoughts of the day.
Play music continuously
in the background. Some
sexy suggestions:
exhilarating, jazz funk-
ambient experimentation
you’ll ever hear.
A recent poll taken among
the women on Marie Claire,
rated the Café Del Mar series
and bands Air and Goldfrapp
as clothes-strippers. Get these
from www.kalahari.net.
Get Ready!
Shave Got a Grizzly
Adams beard and you’ve
run out of damned shaving
cream? Use a few drops of
olive oil. In a panicked pinch,
even hair conditioner will do.
Trim Take care of any
errant hairs in your ears,
nose and eyebrows. We rec-
ommend the Babyliss hair
Destination: Sea, Sand, Stars and Seduction...
Want to really impress her? A marriage proposal perhaps? Whisk her away to one of these romantic locales
Western Cape Hawksmoor
House Classy old Cape Dutch
homestead close to Stell-
Let’s Get It On, Marvin enbosch. Big suites, perfect for
Gaye Gaye recorded this
romance round the fireplace.
www.hawksmoor.co.za
album with the express pur- KZN Sani Valley Lodge
pose of helping his listeners
to, well, get it on. This stuff’s
Expansive wooden lodge mostly
on stilts overlooking a lake. It’s
aural Viagra. in the quieter southern Berg,
so the hordes won’t bug you.
Avalon, Roxy Music
www.sanivalley.co.za
Brian Ferry’s suave and eleg-
Sycamore Avenue Tree House
ant 1982 album is beautifully Lodge Northern Berg. If she has
produced and will lighten a really great sense of humour
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even the tensest atmosphere. and loves the quirkier side of life,
The Complete “In the bingo. Fantasy treehouses beau-
Silent Way” Sessions, tifully crafted by a master car-
penter. Choose the Fantasy
Miles Davis This contains
House. www.sycamore-ave.com
some of the most lushly Gauteng Mount Grace Spa
textured, emotionally and Hotel Winner of Getaway
Last the Distance | SEXPERTISE
trimmer, from Clicks R99.
Use a roll-on A spray
deodorant tends to be more
heavily scented and you don’t
want it battling with your
cologne. Next, apply light fra-
grance sprays to pulse points
– neck, wrists and the insides
of elbows (the heat there
makes it stronger).
Disguise a bald spot
After showering, blow-dry
your hair in the opposite
direction from the way you
typically part it. This adds
lift to the hairs underneath.
When dry, comb it back over
its original shape. This’ll
help your do look a little
fuller. And stay away from
helicopters.
magazine’s Best Spa in the 2007
Best Places competition, it’s
old school, has great treatments
and is perfectly situated in the
Magaliesberg for walks (and
hikes) in the mountains.
www.mountgrace.co.za
A room at Kwa Madwala
Mpumalanga Jatinga Country
Lodge A restored farmhouse
with a huge stoep, endless gar-
dens and the best menu this side
of France. The suites have inside
and outside showers and plenty
of room to, er, move. There’s even
Camouflage any
weight gain Avoid bold,
patterned clothes and look
for subtle designs and tex-
tures; wear flat-front pants;
don pinstripes and avoid hor-
izontal stripes; coordinate
tops and bottoms that are
similar in colour (like a dark
shirt and dark pants); and
dump the crew-neck shirts
and jumpers in favour of
more slimming V-necks.
Don’t be tight She’d rather
see you in a grass skirt than
family-jewel-crushing jeans.
If you can’t easily slide your
wallet out of your back pocket,
your jeans are far too “form
fitting”, so rather opt for
trousers.
a chapel on the grounds if it goes
really well. www.jatinga.co.za
Kwa Madwala Private Game
Reserve With its funky, private
chalets set among the boulders
of a huge koppie, there are few
cooler places to get up close and
personal – with her and the other
wild ones. Lekker rock pool, ani-
mals galore and Kruger is round
the corner. Microlight safaris
and elephant rides optional .
www.kwamadwala.co.za
Northern Cape Tswalu Kalahari
Reserve There’s something
incredibly satisfying about being
pampered in the middle of the
desert. The sand is ochre red,
there’s a demon spa, you eat
outdoors under the stars and
she’ll love you forever.
www.tswalu.co.za
2008 MH SEX GUIDE 29
 REAL MEN ROMANCE
Bottoms Up!
Champagne goes well with
seafood dishes or fresh fruit.
Champagne and sparkling
wines should be served very
cold (4°C to 8°C), so put the
bottle in the fridge at least
two hours before serving.
The Food of Love
A romantic meal should be
simple and sensual. It will
ideally stimulate the senses
with its colours and textures
and taste superb.
Award-winning chef Jill
Dupleix recommends keep-
ing your meal fresh and
light, but rich in protein and
low in starch – pasta, wheat
and bread fill you up and
then put you to sleep.
In the recipe, right, B-
group vitamins from salmon
and dark-green leafy veget-
ables will build on the heady
effect of the Champagne.
Aphrodisiacs The belief that
certain foods were aphrodisiacs
goes back to Ancient Greece,
but no food has ever been
proven to boost your sex drive.
Want to use food sexily? A
centrepiece of luscious, ripe
fruit could add a sensual touch
to your table.
Think of combinations such
as mangos and avocados; red
apples and pears; or lemons
and limes. A bowl of ripe, aro-
matic peaches or a mound of
luscious strawberries is seduc-
tive. If you’re game, offer to
feed her yourself . . .
30 MH SEX GUIDE 2008
MAIN Salmon in a
Sesame Crust
Ingredients
1 cup (200 grams) white rice
1 tbsp sesame seeds
½ tsp coriander seeds
½ tsp black peppercorns
2 x 220g skinless salmon fillets
½ tbsp vegetable oil
½ tbsp sesame oil
½ clove garlic, crushed
½ tsp grated fresh ginger
½ small red chilli, seeded and
sliced thinly lengthways
250g baby bok choy, quartered
30 millilitres soy sauce
½ tbsp mirin
1 tbsp honey
1 tbsp lime juice
Method
1. Boil rice in an uncovered
saucepan until tender, then drain.
2. Place seeds and peppercorns
in a bag and crush them, then
coat one side of each fillet with
the mixture.
3. Heat a spray of oil in a pan.
Sear fish, seeded-side down, for
one minute. Repeat on the other
side until the flesh turns opaque.
4. Heat sesame oil in a wok and
stir-fry garlic, ginger and chilli
until fragrant. Add the remaining
ingredients and stir-fry until bok
choy wilts.
SERVES TWO
DESSERT Poached Moving Movies
Pears in Red Wine We asked sex therapist Dr
Ingredients Linda De Villers and our
75g caster sugar panel of expert female judges
250ml (1 cup) red wine
to pick four seemingly inno-
2 pears, peeled
1 cinnamon stick cent movies that’ll have her
100g clotted or double cream undoing your belt before the
Method credits roll.
1. In a pan, mix the sugar into
the wine and gently heat until
> Bull Durham Baseball,
sex and Susan Sarandon.
it’s dissolved.
What the judges said
2. Place the pears in this liquid,
adding enough water to cover “Seeing care-free sex on the
them, and throw in the cinnamon kitchen table, in the living
sticks. Gently simmer until the room, on the bedroom floor
pears are soft and a knife goes and in the bathtub – all
through them easily (they will within a 10-minute span
continue to cook while cooling,
– definitely put me in the
so ensure they’re not overdone).
3. Core pears and let them sit in mood to remove my clothes.”
the wine until completely cooled. > The Mask of Zorro Sharp
4. Pour some of the liquid into weapons, dashing heroes
another pan and heat until it and Catherine Zeta-Jones
has been reduced to a syrupy (before Michael Douglas
consistency.
brainwashed her into
5. To serve, put a dollop of cream
in a bowl and place a pear on top, marriage).
then drizzle with syrup.
SERVES TWO The Seduction Tip Sheet
Note: this dessert is best We know you don’t need us to hold your hand for the rest of the
served warm. The pears may evening, but here are some handy tricks to have up your sleeve:
be poached well in advance and
then reheated closer to serving
> Drinks in hand, begin the mini
time. tour of your place after she
arrives. Show her the bath-
room and bedroom, but don’t
make a big deal out of it.
> Back to the living room with
the drinks. Ask her to put on
a CD, which allows her to nose
through your music.
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> As you move into the kitchen
to check dinner, she can have
a snoop around, studying pho-
tos, flipping through books
and building up a small profile
of you.
What the judges said
“The exciting sword fight and
hot sexual tension between
the leads ensured that I
didn’t think about anything
else but sex.”
> Henry & June An artsy film
set in Paris in the Thirties.
What the judges said
“This movie is just all-out
hot. Since it’s solely about
sexual desire, it really gets
you worked up by the end.”
> The Thomas Crown Affair
A remake of the classic
Steve McQueen heist film.
What the judges said
“The sex scenes show Pierce
Brosnan and Rene Russo
laughing and playing
together, which makes them
more romantic and realistic
than most movie love
scenes. A big turn-on.”
> Invite her into the kitchen to
watch you cook, showing that
you are a man of many talents.
> Finished eating dinner? Just
push the plates to one side.
Tidying up is neurotic and it’s
much more seductive to leave
it until the morning.
> If things have progressed
to the bedroom stage, have a
quick freshen up: rinse mouth,
splash face, don’t add cologne.
Take off your shoes and socks
– it’ll make things smoother
in the bedroom.
The Morning After
Congratulations, you rogue.
But you must follow
through; this is no time for
complacency!
Serve her breakfast in bed.
After all, she was very good
to you last night.
1. Comfort is paramount.
Use a serving tray and set it
on a bedside table.
2. Flowers in a vase might
spill. So lay them flat on the
tray, next to her plate.
3. Try to find matching
plates, cutlery and cups.
4. Fold the newspaper and
place it next to the tray.
5. Forget the bacon and eggs
– that’s ordinary and you’ll
never keep it all warm. Halve
a grapefruit and segment it
with a knife so the individual
sections can easily be rem-
oved with a fork. Sprinkle
with brown sugar. Grill for
a few minutes to crystallise
the topping and serve.
6. Coffee or tea? Her prefer-
ence. Choose an exotic fla-
vour and fill the cup only
halfway to reduce the risk
of spills.
2008 MH SEX GUIDE 31
SHE SAID IT
The twelve 4
SEXIEST
things ever
said by women
1 “Sex is emotion in motion.”
~ Mae West, was an
American actress, playwright,
and sex symbol.
2 “I think of myself as a
highly sexual creature.”
~ Charlize Theron, South
African actress and former
fashion model
3 “I don’t use my body to
seduce, no. I just stand
there.”
~ Ursula Andress, major sex
symbol of the Sixties and
former Bond girl
32 MH SEX GUIDE 2008
“I’m a “trisexual”.
I’ll try anything once.”
~ Samantha Jones played by
Kim Cattrall in Sex in the City
5 The body is meant to be
seen, not all covered up.”
~ Marilyn Monroe, American
actress, singer, model and
Hollywood icon
6 “I thought it was my job
to give all the boys their
first kiss.”
~ Jessica Alba, American
television and film actress
7 “Don’t! Ever! Stop!
F*ucking Me!”
~ Kelly Preston in Jerry Maguire
8 “You wanna know what
my tongue feels like?”
~ Janet Jackson, American
actress and singer
9 “The best sex I have
ever had was with my
vibrator.”
~ Eva Longoria, American
film and television actress
10 “I’m very old-fash-
ioned. Occasionally I
do wear underwear.”
~ Sharon Stone,American film
actress
11 “I don’t think I have to
introduce myself,
unless you don’t recognise
me with my clothes.”
~ Madonna, International singer
12 “It says Pamela.” And
when he gets excited,
it says “I love Pamela very,
very much and enjoy her
company to the 10th degree.”
~ Pamela Anderson, on the
tattoo on Tommy Lee’s penis.
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