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Arranged Marriage

The Real Benefits of Arranged Marriage Compared to Love Marriage

Aimi Aqilah Mohd Zulkifli

Purdue University
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Arranged Marriage

The Real Benefits of Arranged Marriage Compared to Love Marriage

Arranged marriage may sound strange in the United States as it is impractical in this country.

According to Gagoomal (2009), “Arranged marriage is broadly defined as unions in which people other

than the bride and groom, typically parents or other family members, play important or decisive roles in

determining who marries whom”(p. 590). Many people assume that an arranged marriage will fail when

the potential spouse is an awful match; the mate that was arranged might not achieve our satisfaction

and the marriage will end up with divorce and disappointment. When I was fifteen years old, my sister

married a man chosen by my parents. After a year, my sister’s marriage ended in divorce. Since then, I

believed that arranged marriage is a bad choice. However, after I did some research and had

interviewed with one of the professors in Purdue University, I found that an arranged marriage has

more advantages than disadvantages. Now I strongly believe that the arranged marriage is a good

choice and beneficial because an arranged marriage is believed to guarantee a mate for us, more stable

compared to a love marriage in terms of love, and leads to perpetual happiness.

First and foremost, the obvious benefit of arranged marriage compared to love marriage is it

guarantees a mate for us. According to Dr Gecas , who is one of the lecturers in Sociology Department of

Purdue University, it is difficult to find a mate nowadays especially in the United States because people

are very busy with their work and have no time to find life partner (personal communication, October

28, 2010). This is due to the job prospect as many countries are rapidly developing. People tend to

struggle to ensure their stable economic status in the future thus it is difficult for them to find a mate on

their own. Meanwhile, in arranged marriage, the future spouse will be selected by parents and indeed,

the selection will be based on the compatibility of both adult children (Gagoomal, 2009, p. 592). I

believe by practicing arranged marriage, the incompatibility between the spouses can be reduced. This

is due to the fact that in arranged marriage, the parents will find a potential partner for their adult
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Arranged Marriage

children based on several criteria which are suitable to the adult children for instance same religion and

same caste. Hence, it is very practical to choose arranged marriage to find a mate because it is not only

guaranteeing us a mate, but also a suitable mate for us.

In addition, arranged marriage is a good practice because it is more stable than love marriage in

terms of love and happiness. Dr Gecas concedes that as in arranged marriages, love is not the priority so

this makes the marriage to become more stable unless it is just a horrible match. He also claims “If the

main reason of marriage and for keeping the marriage is love, that’s not really a solid reason because

love is going to decline,” (personal communication, October 28, 2010). After a few years, the marriage

that is based on love will be boring as the love slowly fades day by day. Due to that, the couple might

end up with suffering and divorce. As in the article entitle Mate Selection and Marriage Around

the World, Insgoldby presents some major reasons of arranged marriage which are, social status of the

family, mate selection that carried on from generation to generation and spouse replacement by close

relatives (Insgoldby, 2000). Hence, this shows that in an arranged marriage, the couple will not expect

anything from the partner instead give a full commitment to adjust themselves with their partner.

Furthermore, world divorce statistic illustrates that India records the lowest rate of divorce which is

1.1% compared to the other countries such as Sweden which records 54% of divorce rate (American For

Divorce Reform, 2002). As arranged marriage is a common practice in Indian culture but it is impractical

in Western countries, the practice of arranged marriage may becomes one of the factors that contribute

to this significant statistic. Based on Dr Gecas’s argument and the divorce rate statistic, we can see that

by practicing arranged marriage, we can avoid marriage failure. Therefore, these prove that arranged

marriage is more stable than love marriage.

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Arranged Marriage

Last but not least, if you choose a well-arranged marriage instead of a love marriage, you are on

the right track that will lead you to perpetual happiness. It is indisputable when many people claim that

an arranged marriage will begin with sadness and disappointment. Meanwhile, most of the love

marriage will begin with happiness but some of them will ends up with suffer. Dr Gecas states that in

arranged marriage, the sadness only appears at the beginning and once the love starts to develop, the

happiness will remain ever after (personal communication, October 28, 2010). As in arranged marriage,

a couple is focusing on adjust themselves with each other. During this process, love will be developed

and the marriages will succeed. Mutual understanding also develops as their relationship matures. In

contrast, in a love marriage, when a couple gets married based on love, they will work with high

expectation on the spouse (Schaefer, 2010, pp.336). If some of their dreams fail to materialize after

marriage, there is little likelihood that their relationship will and a great danger of failure. So it is better

to practice arranged marriage because in arranged marriage, we will put low expectation on our partner.

In addition, a recent study has revealed that marital satisfaction are similar between arranged marriage

and love marriage, yet the love wellness are different (Myers, Matadhil & Tingle, 2005). This is because

in love marriage, love is a strong indication of the marriage happiness but in arranged marriage,

development of love will indicates the happiness of the marriage. Therefore, this shows that an

arranged marriage can ensure a perpetual happiness compared to a love marriage.

It is much clear that the practice of arranged marriage is better than love marriage. Nowadays,

many people in this modern world look at an arranged marriage as a bad and outdated practice.

However, arranged marriage actually has more advantages than disadvantages compared to a love

marriage. Even though, some people claim that arranged marriage violates human right but, it is actually

violating human right if you are prohibiting the practice of arranged marriage. Since arranged marriage

is one of the cultures in certain countries and culture is one of human right, thus prohibiting a practice

of culture is in fact violating the human right. Based on all the credible information that I had earned
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Arranged Marriage

from the interview, articles and journals, I strongly agree that arranged marriage is a good and beneficial

practice compared to a love marriage. Based on my interpretations on the sources that I got, I

determine that an arranged marriage has more advantages than disadvantages. An arranged marriage is

more stable compared to a love marriage in terms of love, guarantees a mate for us and leads to

perpetual happiness. Hence, arranged marriage is actually not a bad practice and somehow, people

should change their negative perceptions towards this type of mate selection. Furthermore, the practice

of arranged marriage seems to be applicable and more practical in this 21 st century.

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Arranged Marriage

References

Gagoomal, P.J . (2009). A "Margin of appreciation" for "Marriages of appreciation": Reconciling South
Asian Adult Arranged Marriages with the Matrimonial Consent Requirement in International
Human Right Law. The Georgetown Law Journal, 97 (2). Retrieved from
https://articleworks.cadmus.com/geolaw/zt100209.html

Ingoldsby, B.B . (2000). Mate selection and marriage around the world. In Smith S. & Ingoldsby B.B
(Eds.), Families in Multicultural Perspective (pp. 321-326). New York, NY: Guilford Press.

Myers, J. E, Madathil, J., & Tingle, L. R. (2005). Journal of counseling & development. Marriage
Satisfaction and Wellness in India and the United States: A Preliminary Comparison of Arranged
Marriages and Marriages of Choice, 83(1), 183-190.

Schaefer, R.T (2010). Asian Americans: Growth and Diversity. In Boedeker G (Ed.), Racial and Ethnic
Groups (pp. 336-337). Indiana, IN: Pearson.