August 31, 2006

Its a blast
from the past.
CheCk out
Jayplays trIbute
to the 80s.
HOOKIN UP
remember your roommates
BEAUTY QUEEN
miss Kansas teen USA
7
H20 CHOICES
whats in your water
15
FLAsHBACK
Jayplay
10
17
JAYPLAYERS
EDITOR QUEEN OF THE CASTLE
Carolyn Tharp
ASSOCIATE EDITOR PUDDIN POP
Becka Cremer
CLERK GETS AROUND TOWN
Rene Ward
DESIGNERS MAKE IT PRETTY
Kim Wallace
Bryan Marvin
PHOTOGRAPHER MCGUYVER STUFF
Amanda Sellers
Jared Gab
BITE/HEALTH GOOD FOR YOU
Rikki Kite
Rachel Parker
Erika Bentson
PEOPLE KNOW EVERYONE
Frank Tankard
Katherine Loeck
OUT HIT THE TOWN
Carissa Pedigo
Caleb Regan
NOTICE TAKE NOTE OF IT
Jacky Carter
Bart Vandever
Beth Breitenstein
CONTACT HELP YOUR LOVE LIFE
Megan Heffey
Lisa Anderson
CREATIVE CONSULTANT KNOWS A LOT
Carol Holstead
WRITE TO US
jayplay06@gmail.com
JAYPLAY
The University Daily Kansan
111 Stauffer-Flint Hall
1435 Jayhawk Blvd.
Lawrence, KS 66045
10
TABLE OF CONTENTS
FEATURE
lovin the 80s
HEALTH
which wonder waters work
SPEAK
sporatic vocational picks
19 17 15
OUT
bring the bar home
PEOPLE
beauty queen on campus
7
5
CALENDAR
Jurassic 5 and more
3
NOTICE
Kevin Willmotts new fick
9
02

JAYPLAY 08.31.2006
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 3
note.
t o c
When my sisters and I were
younger, we had an original Nintendo
console and three games Duck
Hunt,World Class Track Meet and
Super Mario Bros.We spent a lot
of time at my moms work, and we
quickly mastered the frst half of the
frst level of each game.
You see, Mom had only one rule:
if you fght over a toy, it goes in the
closet. So, with three of us and only
two game controlers, our aspirations
of winning the game were always
cut short.
Since moving out, Ive acquired
a Play Station 2 and Dance Dance
Revolution,but mastering the dances
pales in comparison to half a track race
on the Power Pad and the pinching
matches that always followed.
Marion Hixons article has shown
me that I am not alone. Vaughn Fry,
among others, prefers the original
to the recently released. So if you
know where your New Kids on the
Block tape is or you miss Clarissa
Explains It All, cruise to page 10 for a
bodacious fashback.

Becka Cremer, Associate Editor
LINDSEY HIRSCHORN, OVERLAND PARK SOPHOMORE, STROLLS
THROUGH CAMPUS DECKED OUT IN80S GARB FOLLOWED BY JESSICA
LEIKER, WICHITA SOPHOMORE AND ANNIE FRAzIER zIONSVILLE, IND.
SOPHOMORE. COVER PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY JARED GAB.
CONTACT
roomates gettin horizontal
Kansas City Chiefs vs. New
Orleans Saints. Arrowhead
Stadium, 7:30 p.m., $49-$88.
Big Head Todd and the
Monsters. VooDoo Lounge at
Harrahs Casino, 8 p.m., $25-$35.
Curlys Roadhouse Revue.
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+, $3, www.
jazzhaus.com.
Lecture: African Studies
Seminar U.S. National
Security Interests and the Role
of the Militaries in Africa.
Bailey Hall, 3:30 p.m., free.
Seminar: Representing the
Middle East. Hall Center, 3:30
p.m.
08.31.2006 JAYPLAY 03
C
a l e n d
Reliant K
a
r
Red Lefty. The Jackpot Music
Hall, 6 p.m., all ages, no cover,
www.thejackpotsaloon.com.
Saving Jane. The Blue Note, 6:30
p.m., $1.07.
Downfall/ National Fire
Theory/ Sidewise. The Granada,
8 p.m., $5.
Cosmic bowling. Jaybowl, frst
foor Kansas Union, 10 p.m., free
with KU ID.
Gallery Exhibit: Prairie Vistas.
Union Gallery, fourth foor
Kansas Union, 9 a.m., free. Photos
of Kansas prairies by John D.
Morrison will be on display in the
Union Gallery starting Friday.
The Pomonas/The Girl is a
Ghost. Replay Lounge, 10 p.m.,
21+, $2, www.replaylounge.com.
Kansas City Music Blues and
Jazz Festival. The Woodlands,
11 a.m., $17.50.
Honky. Daveys Uptown
Ramblers Club, 9 p.m., $8.
Cosmic bowling. Jaybowl, frst
foor Kansas Union, 10 p.m., free
with KU ID.
KU vs. Northwestern State
Tailgate. Adams Alumni Center,
4 p.m., $8-$12. This event will be
catered by Hy-Vee and Biggs BBQ
for the frst 300 guests. Alcoholic
beverages will be available for
purchase.
KU Football vs. Northwestern
State. Memorial Stadium, 6 p.m.
Mae/The New Amsterdams/
The New/Vedera. The Granada,
7 p.m., all ages, $13.50, www.
thegranada.com.
The PBR Band/GC/DC. Replay
Lounge, 7 p.m., all ages, $3, www.
replaylounge.com
Jurassic 5. The Granada, 8 p.m.,
all ages, $25, www.thegranada.
com.
Mofro/The Beautiful Girls.
The Bottleneck, 9 p.m., 18+, $10,
www.bottlenecklive.com.
Case Workers/Boo Hiss/Secret
Club. The Record Bar, 10 p.m.,
21+, www.therecordbar.com.
Def Leppard/ Journey. Verizon
Wireless Amphitheater, 7:30 p.m.,
$25-$75.
Ringling Bros. and Barnum &
Bailey Circus. Kemper Arena,
7:30 p.m., $10-$75.
Jennifer Worick. Jesse
Auditorium, 8 p.m., $3.
Kings of Leon. Madrid Theatre,
8 p.m., $15.
Queensryche. Uptown Theater,
8:30 p.m., $33.
Bottleneck
737 New Hampshire
Lawrence
(785) 841-5483
Daveys Uptown
3402 Main St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-1909
The Granada
1020 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 842-1390
Jackpot Music Hall
943 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 843-2846
The Jazzhaus
926 1/2 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 749-3320
Kemper Arena
1800 Genessee
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 513-4000
Mikes Tavern
5424 Troost Ave.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 444-3399
Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art
4525 Oak St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 561-4000
Replay Lounge
946 Massachusetts St.
Lawrence
(785) 749-7676
Uptown Theater
3700 Broadway St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-8665
Verizon Wireless
Amphitheater
633 N. 130th St.
Bonner Springs
(913) 721-3400
VooDoo Lounge at
Harrahs Casino
1 Riverboat Drive
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 931-33308
Comedy
Night. VooDoo
Lounge at HarraHs
Casino, 5 p.m., $15.
THURSDAY
august 31
MONDAY
september 3
TUESDAY
september 4
SUNDAY
september 3
SATURDAY
september 2
FRIDAY
september 1
WEDNESDAY
september 5
VENUES
where?
Beyond Blue Mondays w/
Lee Mcbee, Pat Nichols and
Friends. The Jackpot Music Hall,
5 p.m., all ages, no cover, www.
thejackpotsaloon.com.
James Brown. The VooDoo
Lounge, Harrahs Casino, 8 p.m.,
21+, $55-65, www.ticketmaster.
com.
NeoN. BottLeneCk,
10 p.m., 18 +. $3 DouBLe
weLLs, anD $0.75 Draws
$1.75 32 ounCe Beers.
tea time. union
LoBBy, fourtH fLoor
kansas union, 3 p.m.,
free.
tuNes at
NooN. kansas union
pLaza, 12 p.m., free. stop
By tHe union pLaza to
Hear tHis weeks LoCaL
artist.
04

JAYPLAY 08.31.2006
DRINK OF THE WEEK
Bloody Mary
Ingredients:
1 shot of vodka
3 ounces tomato juice
Salt and black pepper
3 dashes Worcestershire
2 drops Tabasco Sauce
Lemon and/or celery for garnish
In a mixer glass with ice, shake all ingredients
and pour into a high ball glass. Amounts of salt,
pepper, Worcestershire and Tabasco may vary,
depending on preference. Garnish with a lemon
wedge, celery or both.
These cocktails are good for the morning
after too. Jordan Shelton, co-owner and
bartender at Vermont Street BBQ,
728 Massachusetts St., says that its
one of the best drinks for a hangover.
If its a good one, its a thick and
hearty drink, so your putting
something in your stomach.,he
says. Also, tomatoes are good
for you. Youre getting some
vitamins.
Source: www.cocktailtimes.com

Caleb Regan
Listener: Jon Rogers,
Overland Park senior
Song: See If I Care by
Gary Allan
While pumpin the
jams, Jon was: walking
home from class on
Jayhawk Boulevard
Listener: Lisa Doherty,
Overland Park junior
Song: Drive by The Cars
While pumpin the
jams, Lisa was: checking
her e-mail at Anschutz
Library
Frank Tankard
MUSIC THAT MOVES YOU
Whether youre singin along, groovin by
yourself or just studying in the library,
well catch you with the
WANTS YOU.
Jayplay
WITHOUT YOU, BITCH + moan HAS nO OnE TO
BITCH AT, EBOnY & IVOrY HAVE nOTHIng TO TAlk
ABOUT And HAWk TOpICS jUST ISnT AS fUnnY.
WE nEEd your InpUT.
E-MAIl...
rElATIOnSHIp qUESTIOnS TO BITCH + moan AT BITCH@kAnSAn.COM
TOpICS TO EBOnY & IVOrY AT EAndI@kAnSAn.COM
And
fUnnIEr jOkES TOHAWk TOpICS AT HAWkTOpICS@kAnSAn.COM
Party
Headquarters
The hottest spot on game day.
Post-Game
$3
KU
32oz
BIG
BEERS
2228 Iowa
Its 1:30 a.m. You have waited in line
outside, metupwithallyourfriendsand
fnallysiftedyourwaythroughthemob
surroundingthebartoorderadrink.The
funhasjuststartedwhenthebartender
yells two little words Last call. You
orderonedrink, thenheadhometoyour
lousysix-packofcheapbeer, cursingthe
bouncerwhowouldntletyoutakeyour
SeaBreezeinato-gocup.
Kent Domas, San Antonio senior,
doesnt skip a beat after last call. He
goes home to his own bar and mixes a
drinkforafterhours. Sometimesheeven
leaves the bars early to drink at home.
He appreciates his home bar because
its cheaper and more laid back than
going out, Domas says. You dont have
to wait in line, dont have to deal with
peoplethatarereallyannoyingandway
too drunk just the people you want
tohangoutwith, hesays. Healsouses
his bar for tailgating before football
gamesandhostingpartieswithawider
assortment of drink options than the
traditionalkegger.
Ahomebarisconvenient, alluringfor
friends, can bring the party to the next
levelwithfunshotsandfancycocktails
or keep the spirits fowing after the
dreadedlastcall.
How to build It
Toconstructabasicbarthematerials
youneedaretwo-inch-by-
three-inchpineboardsfor
the frame, oak plywood
for the outside, screws,
wood glue, a biscuit
joinerandL-brackets, says
FreddieRice, Jr., Lawrence
contractor. You can get
mostofthematerialsyou
need at a hardware store
and have the wood cut
foryoutoo.
To start, measure the
boardsfortheframework
to ft the size of bar that
you want to make. Youll
need a frame for each
the top and bottom and
three smaller frames for
the sides and middle.
Put the frames together
in the shape of your bar
using the wood glue and
screws.
To attach the oak
boards, use a biscuit
joiner and glue. The
biscuit joiner will cut crescent-shaped
holesinthepiecesofwoodtobejoined.
Then insert a small piece of wood
coveredwithglueintotheholestohold
the boards together. If
youwanttousetrim, nail
oak molding onto the
sides. Oak trim isnt the
onlyoption. Somepeople
alsousecarpetortile, Rice
says. Finally, sandthebar
down and put as many
coats of polyurethane on
the outside as it says on
thecan, hesays.
Be creative when
building your bar, and
makeityourown.Domass
bar has a personalized
touch with a Jayhawk
and a KU hidden in
the tile pattern on the
countertop.
Stocking your bar
Chad Landis,
bartender and manager
at Astros, 601 Kasold
Drive, has served drinks
in Lawrence for 10 years.
He recommends always
having the four basics on-hand: vodka,
whiskey, rumandgin. Keepthegeneric
liquorsstockedunderneaththebarand
set up an old book self behind the bar
tostorepremiumliquorsforpeopleyou
really like, Landis says. Shots should be
made with good tequilas and vodkas,
like Patron or Greygoose. These are the
bestchoicesifyouchoosetosplurgeon
premiums, hesays.
The basic mixers for most cocktails are
triplesec, cannedjuices(theydontexpire
asfast), tonicwaterandcannedCoca-cola
andSprite. Pourspoutsontopofthebottles
help control the liquor when pouring a
drink, so its just the right strength. Also,
cocktail shakers stir the mixer and liquor
togethersoittasteseven.
Paul Karrer, Omaha senior, plans to
haveapartyinthenextfewweekswith
hishomebar. Whenthrowingaparty, its
necessary to have a bartenders guide,
whichlistsrecipesforanassortmentof
cocktails, he says. With the guide, you
canmakefunstufflikeaslipperynipple
orscreamingorgasm, hesays.
Ifyouplantohaveapartywithmore
alcohol than a mini-fridge can handle,
leaveroombehindyourbarforacooler
to stack drinks on ice. Old refrigerators
can also be converted into kegerators
to keep cold keg beer on tap. The Web
site, http://kegbooty.com, gives easy
instructions on how to make one. Also
for the essentials bar books, cocktail
shakers, bartendingtoolsandtesttubes
forshotscheckoutbartendershop.com
fororderingdiscountedbarsupplies.
Bar dcor
The ultimate bar atmosphere
wouldnt be complete without some
classic not necessarily classy bar
dcor. Bars should look good on the
outside, but can be rugged on the
inside, Landis says. He suggests setting
upastereoandspeakersanddisplaying
some cheesy neon lights. If youre
decorating on a budget, use Christmas
lights. Also, make sure to collect some
bar stools with a good story behind
howyougotthem, hesays.
Domass bar is L-shaped and was
constructed by a previous owner. They
have a tap connected to a kegerator
next to the bar. Theres a rainbow disco-
ball light to kick it into party mode,
some beer brand wall ornaments, and,
ofcourse, acheesyneonBudLightsign.
Domas acquired most if his dcor from
familyandfriends, butyoucanfndmost
ofthestuffhehasoneBay, hesays.
08.31.2006 JAYPLAY 05
Party ShotS
100 Club
EqualpartsofWild
Turkey101, Bacardi151,
Rumplemints100, andHot
Damn100
atomiC Fire bomb
DropashotofHotDamn
andTabascosauceintoa
cupofRedBull.
tiramiSu
Equalpartsofamaretto,
irishcream, andkaluha, with
asplashofMalibuRum,
butterscotchschnapps,
orangejuice, andcream.
Recipes courtesy of Chad
Landis, bartender and
manager at Astros
bring the bar atmosphere to your living room with a do-it-yourself guide to making and stocking a bar.
by Carissa Pedigo
hour haPPy at home
out
PHOTOILLUSTRATION/MEGANTRUE
moan
Chris Raine
BITCH
+
Chris: Youre either
dangerously nave or
dangerously stupid. In either
case, you definitely should
not be having sex. Of any
kind. I dont know what
shows youve been watching
or what books youve been
reading, but premature
orgasm is NEVER a domain
of concern for women. And
given the absurd nature of
this question, Ill assume that
youve never even heard of
the phenomenon exclusive
to females known as the
multiple orgasm. Seriously,
given your complete
ignorance of all things sexual,
you should do your man
and society a favor
and hold off on this whole
intercourse thing until youve
gained at least a rudimentary
knowledge of how your
plumbing works.
Niloofar: Im sorry, come
again? Actually, thats one
thing you probably wont be
doing. Or coming at all, for that
matter. Only about 30 percent
of women regularly reach
orgasm by penile-vaginal
intercourse alone, according to
studies done in the 1950s by
Alfred Kinsey, founder of the
Institute of Research in Sex,
Gender and Reproduction at
Indiana University. This means
that unless your partner is a
coital Casanova, the problem
you mentioned wont be a
problem. So in a pre-emptive
strike, Im going to tell you
what to do when you fnd
you arent screaming your
lungs out in hallelujah-esque
ecstacy: If you want him to
uncover your buried treasure,
youre going to have to give
him a map. So show, dont tell.
Well, not in so many words,
anyway. That means every
time you like, you moan. Every
time you dont, you keep
quiet. After a while hell realize
the difference between the
sounds and the silence, and
you just might be able to join
the choir. If you cant talk to
him about this, you shouldnt
be sleeping with him anyway.
Im stIll a vIrgIn, and Im afraId the fIrst tIme I do
it wIth my partner that Ill come too quIckly. how
can I prevent that from happenIng and hIm leavIng
because he confuses InexperIence wIth bad sex?
JulIe, JunIor
Niloofar
Shahmohammadi
Please send your
questions and
concerns to
bitch@kansan.com
06

JAYPLAY 08.31.2006
I just moved to Lawrence from a smaLL town In western kansas, where my hIgh
schooL boyfrIend stILL LIves. we decIded to make the Long dIstance thIng work,
but ever sInce I Left hes been actIng weIrd. Im afraId hes cheatIng on me now
that Im gone. what shouLd I do?
katIe, freshman
Chris: Ive got some good news
and some bad news. The good
news is that your boyfriend
probably isnt cheating on
you. Hes acting weird because
he misses you, and hes scared
hes going to lose you to
some striped-shirt 4-Runner-
driving business major before
Halloween. The bad news is
that his fear is justifed. Women
absolutely cannot cope
with distance. Just being in
different zip codes is grounds
for breaking off a relationship
and nailing the next halfway-
attractive mammal that enters
their line of sight. It looks
as if youre already starting
to feel the effects of the
distance: paranoia, pestering
phone calls, sluttiness. Im just
assuming the sluttiness, but
thats because of the most
dangerous distance-induced
effect: an excruciating inability
to tell the truth. And honestly,
by this point, hes better off
without you. The kindest
thing you can do to save your
boyfriend future heartbreak is
to break his heart today. Just
tell yourself that and never
think about it again, and you
should be fne.
Niloofar: Back in the day,
when Dick got drunk and did
the deed with some double-
D ditz in his dorm room, it
could take years before Jane
ever found out. But thanks to
Facebook, you can now check
for incriminating pictures and
I love you baby! Call me! I had
fun last night! wall comments
from sleazy hos at New School,
U.S.A. OK, that borders on
stalker and is beyond pathetic,
so as clich as it sounds, what
you should do is just straight-
up ask him. Now, dont ask
him if hes cheating, because
if hes not, youve just put an
innocent man on trial, but
do ask him if everythings OK
between you. Tell him youve
sensed that somethings up
lately, and youd like to have
a talk about it. If he doesnt
want to open up, you can even
make suggestions of the,Is
it maybe that youre feeling a
little tied down because of our
relationship? nature. If that
doesnt work, you can always
hire the show Cheaters to
catch him in the act on late-
night UPN.
Today: Baranowski is student
teaching junior/senior English
at Shawnee Mission East High
School in Prairie Village. He is also
working on his masters degree
in education at Avila University
in Kansas City, Mo.
Changing circumstances:
Baranowski says the two most
important experiences hes had
since graduating have been
moving to Chicago for a year
and having a baby. In Chicago,
he worked for Hallmark in- store
installation and product revision
before moving back to KC and
deciding to teach. His daughter,
Elaina, is now 8-and-a-half
months old.
Changing mind: Ive just really
readjusted my priorities. Im a
lot more mature. I really have
concrete goals, I guess you could
say, for my career and family.
Back in the day: One of my
favorite experiences that I
remember from KU is when KU
beat Missouri by like 40 points in
basketball and being on Mass
Street when we made it to the fnal
game.That was pretty amazing.
Frank Tankard
Each year students
make the legendary
walk through the
Campanile, down
The Hill and into the
real world. Were
here to check
in on them.
grad check
Drew
Baranowski
Graduated: Dec. 2003
Age: 25
Hometown:
Overland Park
Degree: English
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Miss Teen UsA 2006
Top 10
Georgia
Kansas
Rhode Island
Maryland
Montana
North Carolina
Virginia
North Dakota
New Jersey
North Arizona
new qUeen
In front of 5.6 million viewers,
Gentry Miller represented
Kansas in the Miss Teen USA
Pageant and landed a spot in the
top 10 on August 15. But, back in
Kansas, the Wichita freshman
says that no one knows who she
is. Now shes on The Hill with the
rest of KU students in jeans, a t-
shirt and no make-up.
As Miss Kansas Teen USA,
Miller received a generous
scholarship to Lindenwood
University in St. Charles, Mo.
However, the University of
Kansas was her frst love, so she
opted to stay true to her heart
and close to home.
The most diffcult part about
coming to college was leaving
her best friend and support
system in Wichita, Miller says. Her
grandmother, Cheryl, adopted
her when she was 3. The close
bond that grew between them
over the years is obvious in
Millers smile when she talks of
her grandmother.
As a little girl,she and I would
always watch the pageants for
fun, but we never dreamed at
the time that
she would do
something like
that, Cheryl says.
When she
was young,
Miller looked up
to the pageant
contestants as
role models but
never thought
she could do
it. Years later,
during her senior
year at Wichita
Northwest High School, Millers
childhood dream became a
reality. It wasnt until a couple of
weeks before the state pageant
that Miller decided to enter. She
had thought about it all year but
decided on a whim to try her frst
pageant just for fun. Roger
Powell, Millers high school
math teacher, says that she
always seemed
shy in class,
which is not
something you
would expect
from a girl who
can walk across
a stage wearing
nothing but a
swimsuit. When
all was said and
done, she had a
plane ticket to
California and
a roommate at
KU, Alexandra Latimer, Wichita
freshman and frst runner-up.
The college freshman
Surprised to have won
in Kansas, Miller was looking
forward to the opportunity and
learning experience in California,
no matter the outcome. Her
spot in the top 10 earned her
$500 and a modeling contract
with Brides magazine. Her
money will defnitely be used for
school expenses, but because
shes so busy with school, she
hasnt followed up on any of
her modeling opportunities, her
grandmother says. She wants to
focus on her college career for
now.
Miller doesnt really consider
herself a beauty queen. People
think you just have to walk on
stage and look pretty, she says.
Pageants involve academics,
community involvement,
public speaking, charity work
and much more, she says. In
high school, Miller was the
captain of her cheerleading
squad, homecoming queen and
valedictorian. I was friends with
everyone but I was the kid who
always stayed at home doing
homework, she says.
However, at the price of
being a straight-A student,
Miller is a perfectionist. The
pageant process is a good
way for women to show their
strengths and improve their
weaknesses, she says. She
initially got involved to gain
speaking and interviewing
skills before college. Now, the
opportunity to be a role model
for young girls motivates her.
I wanted to make a positive
impact on Kansas, Miller says.
She and her grandmother
were slightly relieved when
she didnt take the crown at
the national pageant. If she
had won, Millers college plans
would have been put on hold.
Now at KU, Miller is excited
to venture away from her
homebody tendencies, become
more independent and pursue a
career in cosmetic dentistry.
Check Gentry Miller out in
this years Homecoming Parade
and visit www.misskansas.com for
more pictures and information.
on cAMpUs
shes a blonde bombshell with a modeling
contract and a crown.
by Katherine Loeck
PHOTOS COURTESY OF GENTRY MILLER
Gentry Miller poses with her
cousin, Katie Ouvan, after
being crowned Miss Kansas
Teen USA.
08.31.2006 JAYPLAY 07
people
Youd have to ask my mom.
When shed give me baths as
a child, shed often hold me
under just long enough to
make me stop crying about
the soap in my eyes.
Probably a minute.
HOW LONG CAN
YOU HOLD YOUR
BREATH UNDER
WATER?
WHAT is YOUR
FAVORiTE WORD
THAT isNT A CURsE
WORD?
WHAT is YOUR
LEAsT FAVORiTE
MOViE?
WHAT WAs YOUR
FiRsT PET AND
WHAT WAs iTs
NAME?
WHAT OCCUPATiON
WOULD YOU NOT
LiKE TO HAVE?
It changes daily. I have
a word-a-day calendar
that I use to increase my
vocabulary. The one I got
this year sucks. Todays word:
Thursday.
Smorgasbord.
Student, professor or TA. Did
I just alienate your entire
readership? Good thing its
the last question.
A dentist.
A mutt named Simon. My
sister once put a rubber band
around his neck while playing
dress-up. It slowly strangled
him for months. Luckily, the
vet found it.
A snake. His name was
Venom.
Both Legally Blondesand
Sweet Home Alabama. I
have nothing against Reese
Witherspoon, just against
crap.
Napoleon Dynamite.
Matt Casaletto,
Palatine, Ill.,
freshman
5 ?
Nikki Glaser,
comedian
(Last Comic Standing)
Beth Breitenstein
08

JAYPLAY 08.31.2006
w
Guy 1: Did you know wearing
socks with sandals is in?
Guy 2: Seriously?
Guy 1: Yeah. I think it looks
really comfortable.
Guy 2: I think it looks really
gross.
Girl 1: Its a good thing I didnt
text message him I love you.
Girl 2: Wait, what? Thats not
what I told you to send him. I
told you to say,It was good to
see you.
Girl 1: But thats how it
sounded in my head.
Girl 1: I cant believe you told
me to kiss her.
Girl 2: I didnt think youd
actually do it.
Girl 1: Well, I was drunk, so
be careful what you tell me
anymore.
Jacky Carter
WEsCOE WiT w
BUNKER HILL
by Bart Vandever
06

JAYPLAY 08.25.2006
08.31.2006 JAYPLAY 09
NOTICE
Kevin Willmott, director and
professor of flm, has resurfaced
to make his follow-up to last
years critically acclaimed C.S.A.:
Confederate States of America.
Welcome to the strange
world of Bunker Hill.
Willmotts last movie, C.S.A.,
took a jarring look at how
the nation would be, had the
South won the Civil War. This
time around he uses his usual
intellectual punch to tackle
terrorism and the idea of a state
driven by paranoia and panic.
Today, Willmott is shooting
in the small country town of
Nortonville population 598.
On the scene, hoards of men
in surgical masks ride horses
down the streets while handing
out weapons to the flms
townspeople.
Next to the Dirty Boot
Caf, an old western-style
saloon, Willmott sits inside an
abandoned building that the
crew had turned into a makeshift
production studio.
Willmott describes his flm as
science faction.
Bunker Hill is about what
happens in a small Kansas
town when technology stops
functioning, and youre forced
to deal with your own fear and
insecurity,he says.In a lot of ways
weve been living in a Western like
this for the past fve years.
The story takes place after
an unknown attack against the
U.S. All technology including
the Internet, cars, phones and
television stops working.
The people of Bunker Hill panic
without communication, and
groups eventually fraction off to
try to take control of the town.
Greg Hurd frst heard
Willmotts idea for the flm two
years ago and promptly agreed
to co-write the project.
We wanted to speak to
contemporary circumstances
while utilizing old story styles,
Hurd says. This may be the frst
post-modern western in history.
If you watch this movie, you will
have never seen anything like
it.
Bunker Hill is independent
(as are Willmotts other flms)
and Bunker Hill cost under $1
million to make, Willmott says.
Despite the small budget,
the flm includes cars
explosions, shattering windows
in downtown businesses,
explosions, gun battles, horses,
carriages and a full cast and
crew.
Willmott was also able to
recruit prominent actors to
work on his flm, including
James McDaniel, veteran NYPD
Blue actor, who plays the main
character, Salem. McDaniel is also
the flms executive producer.
With independent flm, the
stakes are lower, and that allows
me to be braver and try things I
may be afraid to try otherwise,
McDaniel says.
Willmott attributes some of
his good fortune to the quality
of his stories.If you have a great
script, you get interest from
actors. In big productions, actors
are into their careers, but in
smaller scale things, real actors
want a role in a good story, he
says. We have all real actors
here.
After Bunker Hill is
completed Willmott hopes to
make one flm a year, he says.
The Willmott-Hurd writing duo
of are at work again on their
next screenplay entitled Love
Supreme.
Bunker Hill will continue
shooting in Nortonville for
two weeks and then move on
to Coffeyville for additional
footage.
Check out more about
the making of Bunker Hill
at makingthemovie.info.
KEVIN WILLMOTTS
KU professor works
on his next big flm
PHOTOS COUrTeSY Of TONY ONTIverOS
Director Kevin Willmott
watches a scene on the set of
his new flm Bunker Hill.
10 JAYPLAY 08.31.2006 08.31.2006 JAYPLAY 11
By Marion Hixon
Star Wars: Episode
V - The Empire
Strikes Back
$290.2 million
Raiders of the
Lost Ark
$242.4 million
E.T. The Extra-
Terrestrial
$399.8 million
Star Wars: Episode
VI - Return
of the Jedi
$309.1 million
Ghostbusters
$238.6 million
Three Men and a
Baby
$167.8 million
Rain Man
$172.8 million
Batman
$251.2 million
Home Alone
$285.7 million
child of the

V a u g h n
Frys 68-year-
old grandmother
can beat Super Mario
Brothers in one sitting. She
has mastered The Legend
of Zelda, and she knows
Nintendo shortcuts
like its her job. This
womans talent is
derived from her
grandsons love of the
original Nintendo system.
Fry, a Derby senior, is a self-
professed addict. He has
played Nintendo since the
mid-1980s and prefers it over
the newer gaming systems
like Gamecube or Xbox,
although hes quiteaddicted
to those too.
From video games to
music playing through
our iPods to one of VH1s
many decade-obsessed
television tributes,
society embraces its
past.
Ive been doing
nostalgia research
for over 15 years
and I dont
think its just
now booming.
Its always been
around,says Robert Schindler,
associateprofessor of business
at Rutgers University.
Merriam-Webster defnes
nostalgia as a wistful
yearning for an
i r r e c ove r a bl e
condition (say,
your childhood)
or homesickness.
You might think
nostalgia only
hits at a certain
age, when people
are recalling the
good old days,
but Schindler says
nostalgia doesnt
discriminate. We
have an index
which measures
how prone you
are to feeling nostalgia, he
says, referring to nostalgia
research he has conducted
with Morris Holbrook, a
professor of business at
Columbia University. We
fnd that theres no age effect
young people are just as
likely to be nostalgic as older
people. This might explain
why college students in their
late teens and early 20s cant
get enough of video game
systems that came out 20
years ago.
Fry, who began the NES
and Super Nintendo Loyalists
group on Facebook is not
alone in his love
of 80s video
games. Sure,
many students
wouldnt have as
much patience
as Fry did with
his grandmother,
but plenty of
students are still
stationed in front
of the television
for hours on
end each week,
game remote
in hand. Theyre
not all playing
the newest version of Halo.
Quite often, Sonic and Tales or
Mario and Luigi are running
around on their screens.
Video games were my
childhood, Matthew Cramer,
Overland Park junior, says
bluntly. He is partial to Duck
Hunt and Adventure Island
3 and hasnt stopped playing
since his 5th birthday.
Cramer claims that some
newer games arent
as simple and fun as the old
games. His famed moment
came when he played Final
Fantasy VII nonstop for 15
days, only breaking for school,
food and sleep.
Awesome jams
First time was a great
time, Second time was a blast,
Third time I fell in love, Now
I hope it lasts. These were
the lyrics that shot out of a
boom box as sophomore Matt
Walker and his sister played
in their Hutchinson yard as
kids. They would sing as the
New Kids sang on: You got
the right stuff, baby; Love
the way you turn me on;
You got the right stuff, baby;
Youre the reason why I sing
this song. Walker wasnt
exactly fond of the band or
the many cassettes his sister
owned, but theyve imprinted
themselves on his brain during
childhood.
Whether it was a
household favorite, or just a
song you cant get out of your
head, people cant seem to
get enough of 80s music. I
probably have more
80s
The kind of
aTTachmenTs you
have To Things
has To do wiTh
sTrong emoTion
being presenT aT
The Time you were
experiencing iT.
roberT schindler,
associaTe professor
of markeTing, ruTgers
universiTy
Top-grossing movies from The 1980s

childhood memories
having The opporTuniTy
To play ouTside wiTh my
friends every day. Those
were The Times when we
didnT have To worry abouT
money or oTher Trivial
issues.
chris roberTs,
2006 graduaTe
play-doh, skip iT, recess
and valenTines day parTies
in elemenTary.
emily bucher,
louisburg junior
Transformers, are you
afraid of The dark and
capTain planeT.
michael neTh, wichiTa
senior
righT now i am in The
process of Trying To bring
back Tube socks. i Think
Those will be hoT again.
also leg warmers could be
a nice Touch
for some girls.
doug TeTreaulT,
herndon, va. sophomore
i would kill someone
for a dvd box seT of are
you afraid of The dark or
saluTe your shorTs.
will brown,
overland park junior
The raTs of nimh. i jusT
rewaTched iT lasT summer
so i remember iT
preTTy well.
jon simon, lenexa
sophomore
CONTINUED ONPAGE 12
than 300 songs from the 80s on my
computer, Doug Tetreault, Herndon,
Va., sophomore, says. To take him back
to his childhood, hes been able to
compile fve 80s mix CDs featuring
the likes of A-HA, Styx, Hall & Oates,
REO Speedwagon and Huey Lewis and
the News. Tetreault says 80s tunes are
easier to sing along with than todays
popular tunes. I listen to [80s music]
pretty regularly and it puts a better
spin on the day because its not heavy
on love or hate, just happy.
Todays world of TRL, The Real
World and Punkd may seem to be
the norm, but its helpful to remember
that MTV was popularized in the 80s
as a 24-hour music video station. As
much as it has strayed from its original
intent, combining video with music
was a revolutionary idea bringing
about many of the embarrassing styles
we now reference. Next time you see
a girl with bangle bracelets and large
hoop earrings remind yourself that
this craze was initially started by
Debbie Gibson and Madonna. That
was the worst decade yet for style,
Jon Simon, Lenexa sophomore, says.
I would hope none of that comes
back.
Tubular shows and
Saturday morning rituals
Simons childhood home in Merriam
brings back many memories ones
of sending the family cat down the
laundry chute or playing Nintendo with
his dad, who would get frustrated after
losing. Its what he calls the golden age
of kindergarten, when kindergarten
was still a half-day. Simon would rush
home to play watch television with
his sister, Rachel. Snacking on Gushers
or Pop-Tarts and surrounded by the
orange, yellow and brown retro blinds
of the living room, they would take part
in their daily routine of sitting together
in front of the TV to watch shows like
Salute Your Shorts, Legends of the
Hidden Temple and Pete and Pete.
Watching those shows with my sister
definitely brings back good memories,
Simon says.
Fry, creator of the Nintendo Loyalists
Facebook group also recounts
Inspector Gadget, Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles and Transformers
as being a large infuence on his
childhood. He recently acquired Miami
Vice on DVD and says that it takes him
back to a simpler time.
Tetreault, the self-professed 80s
fanatic, indulges in more than 80s
mix CDs, but enjoys movies from
the decade as well. The one movie
I believe carries the
whole culture of the
80s is Fast Times at
Ridgemont High,
he says. Life in the
80s was widely
centered around
the mall culture, and
this movie shows it.
John Hughes seems
to have ruled the
late 80s and early
90s with films like
Ferris Buellers Day
Off, Pretty in Pink,
Sixteen Candles
and Weird Science.
Another classic
Hughes hit, and the
top-grossing flm
of 1990, is Home
Alone,a favorite of Chris Roberts, 2006
graduate. Its always great to see a kid
your age as a hero and controlling his
world minus the intrusion of parents,
he says.
Would you like milk with your
memories?
As a kid, Roberts often had football
games on weekend mornings. However,
when he wasnt playing football, he has
fond memories of rolling out of bed and
watching early morning NBC sitcoms
like Saved by the Bell and California
Dreams with a bowl of Life cereal.
Similarly, when sophomore Stacy Lake
was a kid in Leawood, she would wake
in the morning and head straight for
the television. Accompanied by a big
bowl of Cheerios, she would wait for
Rockos Modern Lifeor Angry Beavers
to appear on the tube.
Its not uncommon to have enjoyed
a big bowl of cereal in your pajamas
on a Saturday morning as a child.
Schindler, who has studied
nostalgia for more than
15 years, says cereal is
a food that brings
back a feeling of comfort that many
people long for. Sometimes people
get attached to cereals, he says.
[ Theyre from] a vibrant time with a
lot of lost joys with your parents.
One company that knows this well
and is banking in on those feelings is
a company called Cereality. The store
currently has locations
in Illinois, Pennsylvania
and at the University of
Arizona in Tempe and
specializes in serving
up cereal by the
bowl. The difference
between Cereality and
any other cereal bar is
that at this company
has Cereologists who
work in their pajamas
and mix up any
concoction of milk,
cereal and toppings.
They say their product
isnt about tapping
into nostalgia as much
as it is evoking the
Saturday morning
experience of waking
up with no obligations, grabbing a
bowl of cereal and fipping on cartoons,
all while in your pajamas. Who knows,
you may still do that. You dont have
to really love old cereal boxes or old
cereal commercials, but you do [have
to] love and appreciate the emotions
of the ideal Saturday morning of your
childhood, says Lisa Kovitz, public
relations manager for Cereality.
Another thing many students
remember about those sleepy-eyed
Saturday mornings, other than not
having school, is the toys they would
play with.
Matt Walker, possibly rebelling
from his sisters New Kids on the Block
influence, says that if he could bring
back one thing from his childhood
it would be Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles. While he may
reminisce over the cartoon show, what
he loved most were the action figures
of Donatello, Michelangelo, Leonardo,
Raphael and Splinter. I have all of my
original Ninja Turtle action figures,
he says. Theyre tucked away in my
closet. Regularly, he would go into
battle with his brother and the action
figures, often claiming victory.
A little thing called nostalgia
The kind of attachments you
have to things has to do with strong
emotion being present at the time you
were experiencing it, Schindler says
of memories like those Walker has of
his four hard-shelled friends. He offers
the example of Schwinn reselling its
retro style of bicycles. Retro bikes
have been very popular because they
meant something to kids to get a bike
without training wheels, he explains.
Many strong memories are imprinted
in early childhood, he says. So when
[people] have children, they want
to buy the same toy for their kids or
sing the same nursery rhymes to their
kids, Schindler says.
Does this mean that when youre
40, youll be longing to play Halo and
bonding with friends over whether
or not Wedding Crashers is better
than Old School? Quite possibly. So
be careful what you invest your time
in now; you might just be nostalgic
for it in the future. And Vaughn Fry
might be teaching his grandkids how
to play original Nintendo, while they
scoff at the fact that he was born in
the 1980s.
She called me laSt
year to aSk where the
Second whiStle in mario
3 iS located. i had no
idea that She found the
firSt one. on top of that,
i know for a fact that
SheS beaten the firSt
Zelda game 6 timeS.
Vaughn fry, on hiS
grandmotherS Shared
affinity for old School
nintendo
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11
12

JAYPLAY 08.31.2006
A WHITE LOUISIANA BUS DRIVER IS SUSPENDED AFTER SENDING NINE
BLACK CHILDREN TO THE BACK OF THE BUS.
What the liberal media doesnt tell you is that the front of the school bus was on re.
HAWK TOPICS
RAINE REVIEWS
NEWS YOU CAN USE
FORBES.COM
RANKS MILWAUKEE
AS AMERICAS
DRUNKEST CITY.
AN INTERNATIONAL
COLLECTION OF
ASTONOMERS
DECIDES TO REMOVE
PLUTOS STATUS AS
A PLANET
Milwaukeans are reportedly seriously
considering adopting the title as
the new city slogan as they are
understandably eager to replace
Milwaukee: Diarrhea-free since 1993!*
*Google Milwaukee cryptosporidium
outbreak to fully understand this reference.
AT 6 FEET
8 INCHES,
13-YEAR-
OLD AARON
DURLEY
BECOMES
THE TALLEST
PLAYER EVER TO
PARTICIPATE IN
THE LITTLE LEAGUE
WORLD SERIES.
That reminds me of the time I got historically
drunk off of $1 pitchers at the Crossing, which
eventually led tome getting historically shot
down by the girls at the bar and historical
vomiting in my kitchen sink.
PARAMOUNT ANNOUNCES SPLIT WITH
TOM CRUISE, ENDING AN EXTREMELY
LUCRATIVE 14-YEAR PICTURE DEAL.
Paramount chose to risk Losin It all, as Toms off-screen antics
made future work with their box ofce very Risky Business. Not
even the Color of Money justied the possible Collateral damage
a continued relationship with the Legend could cause. Sigh. This
is Far and Away the worst joke of the week.
THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS-AUSTIN IS THE
TOP PARTY SCHOOL IN THE COUNTRY,
ACCORDING TO THE NEWEST RANKINGS
RELEASED BY THE PRINCETON REVIEW.
What the Princeton Reviewers didnt get
is that the Toby Keith Red-White-and-
Blue-Hoe-Downparty they attended
while in Austin wasnt meant to be ironic.
CIGARETTE LABELS SUCH AS LIGHT
OR MILD ARE PROHIBITED AFTER A
FEDERAL COURT FINDS THE LABELS
DECEPTIVE TO CUSTOMERS.
The judge declined to
eliminate Cool,however,
based on the convincing
testimony from local
high school students that
smoking really does make
you, like, totally cool.
ELTON JOHN ANNOUNCES INTENTIONS
TO PRODUCE A HIP-HOP ALBUM.
Tentative titles for the
forthcoming album include:
Saturday Nights Alright for
Pimpin, Tiny Durrty Dancer
and Crunk-a-dile Rock.
THE CROSSING IS TEMPORARILY
SAVED AS THE LAWRENCE HISTORIC
RESOURCES COMMISSION DEEMS
THE PROPOSED DEVELOPMENT
LOCATION HISTORICAL.
If this freak show is really 13, then I was really 21
when I was drinking at the Crossing.
AIRLINE SECURITY IN HOUSTON
FINDS A STICK OF DYNAMITE IN THE
CHECKED LUGGAGE OF A COLLEGE
STUDENT.
Maybe this is why the Princeton Reviewers thought
partying in Texas was such a blast.
Pluto nearly avoided
its fate when, just
minutes before the
crucial vote, the
meeting descended
into uncontrollable
giggling after one
of the astronomers
asked the chairman,
How many Venuses
are in Uranus?
Chris Raine
THINK YOU HAVE A BETTER JOKE? E-MAIL ME AT HAWKTOPICS@KANSAN.COM.
NOTICE
08.31.2006 JAYPLAY 13
Bluestem
Misty River
Hot Strings
The Wilders
Steve Kaufman
Pete Huttlinger
The Greencards
The Waybacks
Marleys Ghost
Still on the Hill
Tommy Emmanuel
Stephen Bennett
Cadillac Sky
Dave Stamey
Andy May
Bill Barwick
Roz Brown
Julie Davis
Barry Patton
Linda Tilton
Bruce Graybill
Small Potatoes
Mountain Smoke
Tim OBrien Trio
John McCutcheon
Byron Berline Band
David Munnelly Band
Spontaneous Combustion
Cathy Barton & Dave Para
Dan Crary & Thunderation
Adrienne Young & Little Sadie
Tom Chapin w/ Michael Mark
JoAnn Smith & Pocket Change
Chris Jones & The Night Drivers
Pat Flynn, Buddy Greene, & Friends
WALNUT
VALLEY
FESTIVAL
National Flat Picking Championships
35th Annual
September 13-17, 2006
Wineld, KS
Buy your
tickets now!
For details and tickets, visit
www.wvfest.com
$93,383 in prizes
Arts and Crafts
Four stages
Eight contests
Workshops
About 85 percent of household cleaning
products dont have proper warning labels.
These products arent required to follow
the Federal Hazardous Substance Labeling
Act passed in 1960. Labels might mention
warnings and a list of toxic substances found
in the product, but they do not contain a
complete list of ingredients and how you
might avoid a hazardous situation. There is
also no law that requires manufacturers of
these products to undergo safety testing of
their product before it is put on the market.
www.worldwise.com
Rachel Parker
DID YOU KNOW...
1 (6.5 ounce) jar marinated artichoke hearts,
drained and chopped
3 roma (plum) tomatoes, chopped
2 tablespoons chopped red onion
1/4 cup chopped black olives
1 tablespoon chopped garlic
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
Salt and pepper to taste
Combine ingredients in a medium-sized bowl.
Serve chilled with tortilla chips.
Recipe provided by www.allrecipes.com
Recipe submitted by Julie Dumford
Rachel Parker
RECIPE OF THE WEEK
ARTICHOKE SALSA
Perfect for your tailgating treat, artichoke
salsa is an easy and convenient snack on
game day. All you need is:
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14

JAYPLAY 08.31.2006
by Rikki Kite
heaLth
08.31.2006 JAYPLAY 15
Drink eight glasses of
water a day is a resolution
that rolls over onto my new
list at the beginning of each
year. Other resolutions, such
as giving up cigarettes and
daily soft drinks, were more
successful and bumped off my
list after a few attempts. Ive
also had resolutions that were
obviously bad ideas and quickly
disregarded, like the year I
vowed to say bitchin more
often. Im not sure whether Ill
do the splits this year after my
failed effort in 2005, but I may
actually end up fully hydrated
with the help of a variety of new
favored water products on the
market.
Its no secret that soft drinks
arent necessarily healthy, and
in the past few years they are
sharing the blame along
with sedentary lifestyles and
fast food for the growing
obesity problem in America.
In the summer of 2005, the
American Beverage Association
took action and unveiled its
new school vending policy that
would decrease the amount
of soft drinks in elementary,
middle and high schools
while increasing juice and
lower-calorie product options.
Coincidentally, last year sales
volumes of carbonated soft
drinks fell for the frst time since
1985, according to Beverage
Digest, but non-carbonated
beverage sales increased.
Dasani, a Coca-Cola product,
introduced a line of favored
waters about a year ago, but they
were completely unrelated to the
new ABA policy, spokesperson
Ray Crockett says.
But, if you read the labels
on bottles of flavored water,
its hard to tell how they differ
from diet soft drinks. Sprite
Zero, a lemon-lime soda, for
example, contains zero calories
or carbs and lists its first two
ingredients as carbonated
water and citric acid. Dasanis
Natural Strawberry Flavored
Water Beverage is also calorie
and carb-free, and the first two
ingredients are purified water
and citric acid.
So, what is the difference
between these new favored
waters and diet soft drinks?
Diet soft drinks are carbonated,
Crockett says. I point out to him
that some types of favored
waters, such as 7UPs Breeze,are
also carbonated.Flavored waters
are lightly favored and lightly
sweetened. Theyre for someone
who wants to drink water but
wants something different, he
says.
Carolyn Moore, Wichita
freshman, says she doesnt
drink diet soft drinks but will
occasionally have a bottle
of favored water. I think its
healthier than a diet soft drink,
she says.
Non-carbonated favored
waters are a healthier choice
than diet soft drinks, agrees
Aaron Boos, owner of Lawrence
Nutrition Center, 4931 W. Sixth
St. Carbonated beverages can
exacerbate digestive problems,
Boos says. I dont think it
hydrates you nearly as well as
water, he says.
However, bottled waters in
general may be a better choice
than tap water, unless you know
what kind of plumbing youre
dealing with. Im not drinking
the water from the faucet in a
100-year-old house, Boos says.
Plain water is the best,
without any additives in it, says
Gina Fisch, owner and operator
of Perfect Balance Weight
Management Center, 935 Iowa
St. Water with additives and
soft drinks both include extra
chemicals for your body to
process, Fisch says, and she also
recommends that you choose
either diet sodas or favored
water in moderation, but not
both. Two 12-ounce containers
per day is moderation and fne,
she says. Regular soft drinks
contain about 12 teaspoons
of sugar per can, which
Fisch suggests is extra sugar
you should avoid. She also
recommends that the average,
non-athletic student consume
64-80 ounces of water per day.
Recommended daily intake
of water actually varies quite a
bit between women and men,
age groups and depending on
how much you exercise. The
National Academy of Sciences
recommends that women
between the ages of 19-30
consume about 91 ounces per
day, and men in that age bracket
should chug closer to 125
ounces.
Theres also a handy-dandy
Hydration Calculator on the
International Bottled Water
Association Web Site (www.
bottledwater.org) that calculates
water needs based on weight,
time spent exercising and
intensity of exercise. According
to the calculator, I should be
drinking 83.5 ounces a day.
Thats a lot of water. With more
bottled water varieties available,
this could be the year I meet
that goal and work in some new
resolutions.
water
with a twist
wet your whistle
with a variety of
favored waters
iF YOU reaD the LaBeLs
ON BOttLes OF FLaVOreD
water, its harD tO teLL
hOw theY DiFFer FrOM
Diet sOFt DriNKs.
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION/ JARED GAB
16

JAYPLAY 08.31.2006
Becky Harpstrite, Andover
senior, and her sister were perusing
merchandise at Banana Republic. She
was admiring a sweater a $100
sweater. She held it up to scope it out
and laid it back down neatly. As she
laid it down, a giant stream of snot
fowed from her nose and onto the
sweater. Embarrassed and disgusted,
she and her sister scurried away.

Lisa Anderson
(MORTIFYING MOMENT)
CATHERINE COQUILLETTE
2
Id yell at the cheater. thats just not rIght.
chrIs Blackstone, st. louIs sophomore

Id stay out of It. Its not my BusIness.
stephanIe altoro, Bronx, n.y., sophomore

Lisa Anderson
tWo cents: advIce on love and lIfe
SNOT A GOOD IDEA
What would you do if two of your good friends were dating each other, and one cheated on the other?
Brothers from another mother? Illegitimately probably. Seniors Fred Davis and DeJuan Atway give colorful
insight to modern college problems and issues. Should you care? Good question. Well let you decide.
eBony Ivory
Its been one year since Hurricane Katrina
leveled New Orleans and coastal Mississippi. It
was sad and disturbing to witness the death
for all intent and purposes of New Orleans.
Pre-Katrina, the NO was a great city. It had all the
pageantry, spectacle and debauchery associated
with Mardi Gras. Nawlins was the original Sin City;
it was Vegas before Vegas was Vegas.
The images of Katrina are what will stick
with me the most CNN and every other
news outlet showing American citizens sitting
on rooftops for days as help eluded them. In a
perfect world there would be a press conference
to honor the memory of those who passed away.
President George Dubya, New Orleans Mayor
Ray Nagin, Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco,
head of homeland security Michael Chertoff and
former FEMA director Mike Brown would answer
questions from New Orleans residents. I want
to hear from the offcials, Ay, you know what?
Its true we effed up. But in a perfect world, the
1,836 people who died because of Hurricane
Katrina would still be alive.
The aftermath of Katrina is this countrys most
embarrassing and blatant display of ignorance
and negligence that Ive seen in my 25 years as
an American. I was horrifed by what I saw: Third
World-like images and desperate pleas for help,
and in our own backyard to boot. It was truly jaw-
dropping.
One year later, it appears that while some
life has been restored, New Orleans once a
bustling, tourist-driven town with abundant
crime and poor schools will never be the same.
The lesson we should all take from the Katrina
disaster is that the disparity between black and
white is as prevalent today as it was 40 years
ago when black folks were getting blasted by
fre hoses and attacked by German shepherds.
Katrina made that clear.
I know were busy trying to root out
terrorism worldwide while the ring leader of it
all, but why cant we take some time to invest
in our own people for a change? New Orleans
would be a great start... and theres no gray area
in that.
katrIna, one
year later
on
DeJuan Atway Fred A. Davis III
Want dejuan and fred to address your topIc? e-maIl eandI@kansan.com.
hook-up
etiquette
by Megan Heffey
08.31.2006 JAYPLAY 17
ContACt
Dating in college is like a box of
chocolates. Some of them are misleading
full of stringy coconut when the
outside suggests its a caramel. Some
look like they are icky lemon cream but
surprise you with gooey chocolate truffe.
Men and women play this game of truth
seeking and make mistakes along the
way. Unfortunately its often not you who
hates the mistake the most
its your roommate.
You should learn how
to live in peace with the
people that live with
you. So, before you bring
home that cute jock or
giggly gal, have a chat
with the people who
share your roof.
Laying down the
ground rules
Sit down with your
roommates and write out
a list of things that should
and should not happen
at your place. Since
some people may not be
veteran shackers, a few
hypothetical situations
that youve seen in the
movies should probably make the list
too. Include things like who may use,
touch, eat or mess with your personal
belongings. Your roommate should
also know your feelings about frequent
guests in your house, apartment or
dorm room. Set a limit of maybe twice a
week, says Adam Lovelace, Olathe senior.
Two years ago, my old roommate and
this girl would stay up late talking, and
it kept me awake, he says. Dorms are
especially diffcult places to bring late
night guests. The smaller the space, the
more crowded it can become.
Well, it happens
In the (likely) event that one of your
guests breaks one of your roommate
commandments, step up to the plate
and fix it. If the girl you brought home
ate your roommates entire box of
Oreos, replace it, man. If you notice
that someone used your bathroom and
made a hair-raising mess, calmly talk to
your roommate.
Once my roommates friend threw
up on my carpet, and I was so pissed, I
made the guy clean it up while he was
still drunk, says John Tyrrell, Olathe
sophomore.
In any case, dont let frustration
build. Talk it out. Then get over it and
realize that everyone makes mistakes.
Molly Glanz, Naperville, Ill., senior,
had a talk with her roommate after a
guest made a mess in their bathroom.
If youre gonna have
people over, respect our
house and our things,
she says.
Remember the humor
in it all
Some of the funniest
stories that people tell
each other in college
involve nights when their
friends hooked up with
someone. Many stories
are embarrassing and
many are ones that you
can tease your roommate
about for years.
Ive taken someone
home, but its only been
a friend and we just get
stupid and make bad
decisions. Its always
something to laugh about later, says
Glanz.
Sometimes roommates simply forget
that they share a space with others and
do things that should be done in the
privacy of, well, a locked and soundproof
bedroom.
We came home one night and
they (her roommate and guest) were
having fun on the couch, and they had
to run naked into the bedroom, says
Denisha Jones, Kansas City, Mo., senior.
So we had to have a discussion about
that.
Living with roommates is a learning
experience. Living with a roommate is a
great step toward a successful marriage
because it teaches you how to live with
another person. Its a mental shift to start
thinking about someone else before you
act, says Claire Colvin, editor of Women
Today Magazine in her article Surviving
Your Roommate (And Surviving Yourself
in the Process).
Just remember to keep an open mind
and know that this is another one of the
many lessons you will learn in college.
Learning the right and
wrong way to bring
someone home
how to bring up
the hook-up
Icebreakers to begin that
awkward conversation
So, about that guy who
used my toothbrush this
morning... can we talk
about that?
Are you always going to
bring home people who
snore that loudly?
Im allergic to your friend
(insert name here). Can we
limit those visits?
I promise to not walk around
naked if you keep your late
night friendsquiet.
PhOTO ILLUSTRATION/ KIMbeRLY WeSTPhALL
BoymeetsGirl. BoyandGirlfallinlove.
BoyandGirlarechasedacrossthecountry
byChicagogangsterswhoareaftertheir
stolendiamonds.
DavidSchicklersSweetandVicious
ispackedwithlove, actionandcrime.The
brilliantnovelreadslikeamoviefullof
graphicallysexualandviolentscenesmixed
withtouchingmoments. Evenifyourenot
theavidreader, youwontbeabletoputthis
onedown.
CarolynTharp
JAYPLAY SAYS
BUY
OUR ENDLESS
NUMBERED DAYS
Virtualpets, brideswearingwhiteandourpropensityforusing
google asaverbhaveshapedwhowethosebornbetween
1983and1988are. BeloitCollegeinWisconsinrecognizesthese
andotherfactors(barcodes, thedeathofthefaxmachineanda
stainedbluedressincluded)intheirCollegeMindsetListforthe
classof2010.
Navigatetohttp://www.beloit.edu/~pubaff/mindsettoaccessthe
listthatisusedbyeducators, militaryrecruitersandotherswhowant
tounderstandus, andmaybeyoullendupunderstandingyourself.
BeckaCremer
CLICK
READ
SWEET AND
VICIOUS
Ready to redecorate, but reluctant to drop
muchcash?DownloadtheRasterbatorfromhttp://
homokaasu.org and use this simple program to
turn any photo into a giant-sized poster. With just
a few clicks and a minute or two of waiting, your
favorite photo can quickly become wallpaper for
anentireroom. Bonus: TheRasterbator+photosof
thetimeyourroommatepassedoutintheshower
=ultimateblackmail.
BeckaCremer
DOWNLOAD
THE RASTERBATOR
COLLEGE MINDSET LIST
04.06.2006 JAYPLAY 17
18

JAYPLAY 08.31.2006
Ifyouhaventhearditalready, checkout
Iron&WinesalbumOurEndlessNumbered
Days. Itssoothingacousticsoundisperfect
forrainydays, studyingortakingnapswith
yourboo. Hadalongday?Therhythmofthe
guitarandsongwriterSamBeamsvocalwill
croonyoutocalm.
CarolynTharp

Aknockoutcomedywith
heart,LittleMissSunshine
followsadysfunctional
familyastheydriveto
Californiaforabeauty
competition. Thefamilyis
comprisedofafatherwho
isamotivationalspeaker
(GregKinear), afrustrated
housewife(ToniCollette),
anoptimisticandsweet
daughter, Olive(Abigail
Breslin), aheroinaddicted
grandfather(AlanArkin),
ascholarlyuncleanda
teenagesonwhohastakena
vowofsilence.
Thisdelightfulflmworks
becauseofitsfast-paced,
smartscriptandtheperfect
comedicchemistryofthe
cast. Throughouttheflm,
thereisafeelingofnormalcy
intheirconversations,
frustrationsandeveryday
clothes, despitetheir
unconventionaljourney.
FunnymanSteveCarell,
asOlivesuncle, isoneofthe
flmsmanyhighlights. His
sarcasticsidecommentsare
icingonthecake.
NewcomerAbigailBreslin,
asOlive, isadorableand
showsgreatdepthinthe
flmsdramaticscenes. Itisher
determinationtocompete
inthepageantthatgives
theflmgroundingsincerity
throughthewildplot. This
Sunshineseamlessly
managestobesweetwithout
beingcloy, funnywithout
beinggrossandheartfelt
withoutbeingsappy.
LittleMissSunshine is
oneofthebestandmost
hilariousmoviesIveseenin
alongtime. SorryCaptain
Jack,LittleMissSunshine is
thebestflmofthesummer.
Rated: R
2hours

SarahTucker
Little Miss Sunshine
AfterParisHiltonreleasedan
album, Iwasbeginningtoquestion
whetherIshouldeverlistento
musicagain. Afterall, inmyopinion,
themusicworldhadbasically
ended. ButafterhearingBeginTo
HopeIknewthat, intheend, good
musicwouldprevail.
Singer-songwriterReginaSpektor
followsupherpopularalbum,
SovietKitschwithBeginTo
Hope,analbumflledwithdepth,
varietyandalotofgreatsongs.
Thealbumstartsstrongwiththe
groove-heavyFidelity,followedby
theuptemporockerBetterand
oneofmyfavoritesongsonthe
album,Samson,flledwithsmart
lyricsandabeautifulmelody.
Thealbumlosespowerin
themiddlesectionwithsome
experimentaltracks, includingthe
Broadway-esqueAprsMoi, the
schizophrenic20YearsofSnow
andthejazzyLady. Nevertheless,
theyrebetterthananythingLenny
Kravitzhaseverputout.
SummerInTheCity closes
outthealbumthewayitshould
bedone, withabeautifulsong
thatwillleaveyoupiningforthe
carefreedaysofsummer.
SoinaworldthatallowsParis
Hiltontorecordanalbum, itsnice
thatgenuinemusicstillexists.
Andthatswhatcanbefoundon
BeginToHope.

ChrisBrower
Begin To Hope
Regina Spektor
MUSIC MOVIE
ALL rAtingS Are out of A PoSSibLe five StArS.
reviews
When I was 6, I wanted to be a priest.
This had less to do with a precocious
religiosity than my fascination with Catholic
iconography, but at least it was a viable
career option. My plan would have been
reasonable, even admirable, had I not also
wanted to be a professional football player
probably a weak-side linebacker.To my
sugar-addled 6-year-old mind, dispensing
absolution and quarterback sacks in equal
measure made perfect sense.
Clearly, I am not a priest or a football
player today, and I probably never will be. I
dont know what I want to do with my life
and never really have. Oh, Ive had feeting
plans, but nothing concrete (or logical). In
fact, I settle on a new career every two or
three weeks. Nothing seems to stick.
A few more highlights from my lifelong
struggle to fnd a vocation:
1991-1993; 1996-1998: I, like millions of
pre- and post-pubescent American
males, want to be like Mike. I dont
shave my head and cant drive to
my left, but I do buy a bunch of
Nike T-shirts. Not talented enough
for competitive play, I toil in the
backwaters of YMCA ball until the
dream fnally dies.
Fourth grade: Inspired by the mad
genius of Calvin and Hobbes, I try
my hand at cartooning but cant
come up with a name for the lead
character. Dispirited, I abandon the
whole enterprise, never to draw again.
(Correction: I did trace a photo of
Chuck Berry last semester, but that
doesnt really count because, however
cool, it could hardly be called original.)
College: I arbitrarily settle on journalism
as my major and am admitted to the
school early. Later, after reading a
book about the Middle Ages, I tack
on a history major for good measure.
Neither degree will be particularly
useful in times of economic recession.
Fall 2003: The Strokes release Room
on Fire.I cant believe guitars can
sound like keyboards and decide to
form a band. I dress, drink and smoke
cigarettes accordingly, but cant sing or
play an instrument. My parents wonder
why theyre paying my tuition bills.
Six months ago: I ask my parents if I can
move into their attic to live a life of
monkish austerity. I plan to eat only
white rice and read The Decline
and Fall of the Roman Empire until
I understand it. Again, my parents
regret having a child.

The struggle continues today. Im torn
between two professions that, at frst
glance, appear to be equally awesome:
mailman and park ranger. I have
considered doing both (remember the
football-playing priest?) but realized most
people dont have their mail delivered
in the mountains. Besides, the pale
blue wool suit would probably attract
unwanted attention from bears and other
large predatory animals, so its just as well
that I abandon the idea altogether.
In any event, I graduate in May and
the real worldis fast approaching. But
considering that many other students are
equally unsure of their futures and that
Americans change jobs every four-and-
a-half years, my vocational schizophrenia
doesnt seem so unusual. I may not know
what I want to do with my life but, hey, it
could be worse. After all, Im not an English
major. Those guys are really screwed.
choosing a life
by Dave Ruigh
one mans trek
to discover what
he should do with
his life
sPeaK
08.31.2006 JAYPLAY 19
i gRaDUaTe in MaY anD The Real WoRlD is fasT
aPPRoaching. BUT consiDeRing ThaT ManY oTheR sTUDenTs
aRe eQUallY UnsURe of TheiR fUTURes anD ThaT aMeRicans
change JoBs eVeRY foUR-anD-a-half YeaRs, MY VocaTional
schiZoPhRenia DoesnT seeM so UnUsUal.
gREg gRIESANAuER
Ifbandswereallowedtorun
forpublicoffce(astartlingly
excellentideainmyopinion),
NowItsOverheardwould
surelytoptheindierock
ticket. Checkthestats: NIOis
fromatown(Athens, Ga.)and
onalabel(SaddleCreek)that
defnewhateverindierock is
currentlysupposedtomean.
Onthebandslatest,Dark
LightDaybreak,producer-cum-
frontmanAndyLeMasterreturns
with10sonicallyarresting, epic
tracks(thinkR.E.M., sansStipe
andproBono, producedby
BrianEno).Thealbumsopener
isalsoitsbest: OnLettheSirens
RestLeMasterpairsbighooks
withbiggerimagerystorms,
mountains, theoceanall
wrappedupinlayersofvocal
overdubsandelectronicknick-
knacks.
ThisNovember, voteNIO.

DaveRuigh
Dark Light Daybreak
Now Its Overheard
MUSIC
All rAtings Are out of A possible five stArs.
HavinglovedSuper
Troopers, anotherBroken
Lizardcomedy, Idesperately
wantedtoloveBeerfest. Set
ataninternationaldrinking
competition, thewellofclassic
booze-jokeopportunities
seemeddeeperthananemo-
bandfrontman. Unfortunately,
theflmlikethefrontman
turnedouttobeempty.
Beerfest openswell
enough, whentheWolfhouse
brothers(EricStolhanskeand
PaulSoter), lifelongdrinkers, are
senttospreadtheashesoftheir
recentlydepartedgrandfather
atOktoberfest. There, they
stumbleuponanancient
competitionofdrinkinggames
andarehumiliatedbythe
perenniallyvictoriousGerman
team. Theguys, settoavenge
theirpummeling, puttogether
aformaldrinkingteam(therest
ofthecomedygroupBroken
Lizard)andtrainthemselvesin
thedrinkingartsinpreparation
forthefnalshowdown.
Themoviesdownfallcomes
fromtheplayers misguided
attempttocreateoriginal
characters. Theformulathat
workedsowellinSuper
Troopers (i.e. fourbadasses
andatotalloser), hasbeen
alteredwithterribleresults.
Evenloadsofdickjokesand
severalinstancesofgratuitous
nuditycantkeepBeerFest
frombeingadisappointment.
Nexttimeyouwanttosee
classicdrinkinghumor, save
yourselffvebucksandfollow
mearoundwhileImdrunk.
Rated: R
110minutes

DannySolomon
MOVIE
Beerfest