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Copyright 2012 by Patricia Love

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. Second Edition. Revised and updated July 2012 ISBN-13: 978-1478230168 ISBN-10:1478230169 Library of Congress Control Number: Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author. The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual wellbeing. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Printed in the United States of America Self-Published rev. date: 07/10/2012

TABLE OF CONTENTS
lifes cheerleader........................................................................................................... 4 HELP!! I AM TRAPPED AND caNt GET OUT! ................................................................. 6 CLEANING OUT THE CLUTTER ......................................................................................... 11 STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! ............................................................................. 17 OMG! I Have To Change My Habits?........................................................................... 25 MONSTERS! BE GONE! ......................................................................................................... 33 YOU GOT THE LOVE.. NOW SHARE IT! .............................................................................. 38

lifes cheerleader
Every day we hear that life nowadays is very stressful, that we need to manage our daily life better than people did a century ago. We have to stand on our own two feet, and we have to fight for ourselves and for others. We are longing for successful careers, a fulfilled personal life and quality me timewe want it all! However, other people, obstacles and daily life, can easily take the smiles from our faces and mess up our well-prepared plans. Yes, life can hit us straight between the eyes. Are you smiling? Nobody smiles, when there are problems to solve. So we take all of our energy and focus on our problemsNow Is that the right way to get the negativity out of your life?....HMMMM Let me introduce myself: My name is Patricia Love and I am the founder of Smiles and Rainbows: Positive Ways with Patricia Love. I am Lifes Cheerleader and I know that YOU can become the cheerleader of YOUR own life too. I was not born in a perfect world, where everything happened as I wanted itand all my dreams became reality. I have had lots of ups and downs. In my story, you will find physical and mental abuse, rape, divorces, caring for an elderly parent, death of a sibling, and the death of parents. In addition, to that, I can tell you that I have lived high on the hog, drinking champagne on yachts, to one of the lowest points of my life, searching for change in old purses for dinner... But I dont fear or feel sorry about anything that I have gone through. That was my past and I refused to let it define me. It is not who I am now. I have always found my way to my next adventure, through the immense power of POSITIVITY. In this book, I want to share with you my positivity. I want to show you some ways that have helped many people to open the door to another world. I cant make you a different person, but I can show you that changes are possible. Working on yourself is not hard and you are free to decide what you want to learn. You might learn that it is ok to smile every day! I am inviting you to go through 6 chapters in this book one by one and 10 steps that you can take right after reading each of them. You will find in this book, real life situations, from the lives of real people, who just like you, have been looking for a better life, but faced different problems that held them back from making changes. My hope is that you will want to start making changes todayeven small ones!

In the first chapter we will go through the feeling of being trapped in your own life with negativity and painful memories around you. We will find the right time for you to start making your changes. The second chapter will take you through your own clutter you probably cannot even imagine that there is so much mess - it is not only in the material things around you, but also in your mind. You do not have to carry this clutter with you the rest of your life. We need to start to remove it. Many of us, even though we see our problems, do not have the courage or dare to step out of it all, so in chapter 3 we will talk about your own comfort zone and how to get out of it. Even a little challenge or small step to get you started, can change the rest of your life. In the chapter 4, I want you to look at positive habits and how to build your own positive habits, so that you can continue to be positive. It can and will become a natural part of you, which will keep growing every day and by every step, you make. Chapter 5 will help you to look at your monsters. Monsters exist not only in horror movies, but also in our head. They exist because we have created them or someone has created them for us and we are bringing them to life with our own fears. Believe me; you are going to find that a world with monsters was holding you back from success, happiness and satisfaction. In the last chapter I want to show you how to strengthen your positivity and to create the perfect soil for your positivity to grow and bloom. If you are using the printed version of the book, take a pen or pencil in your hand while reading it mark ideas you like, and underline what seems important to you. If you read the electronic version of it, use whatever options you can to highlight texts or add sticky notes. Of course, you can read it once and put it away but I believe the book itself shows you that its value increases every time you work with the steps written here. I am not here to sell you just words, but I wanted to show you that you can be positive, enjoy life and be happy. We all go through our own personal journey, but if we can learn to think and act positive it can make those hard times tolerable or understandable. This book is not about methods that are unrealistic or impossible to accomplish, it is about making simple changes and better habits. So if you are looking for heavy theories or someone to analyze your problems, you will not find it here. Here you will find smiles, and an opportunity to live easier and attract more positivity! I want you to become your own lifes cheerleader! Hey, smiling is free and easy! Can you smile before you get to the first chapter? Yes, you can! Keep an open mind!
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CHAPTER 1 HELP!! I AM TRAPPED AND caNt GET OUT!

Problems are all around us!!! Wherever you look, they are staring at you and trying to chase you. Faces of positive moments suddenly turn dark, small troubles get you down and here you are again trapped in the cycle of problems! One problem leads to anotherand then another and I am not talking about small daily problems, people are facing serious illnesses, divorces, financial difficulties and natural disasters. Yet you feel like you are the only one drowning in it. What happens next is that you become unable to enjoy your life. Even if something good happens, you slowly turn blind to positive things... because there always seem to be another problem

The weather today is warm and sunny, but I have no money in my pocket That couple sitting at the next table looks like love is all around them, but my
husband He never brings me flowers, and we never go out for dinner just the two of us anymore

I am trying my best, but my kids are behaving so badly at school. I must be a bad
mother.

If I had higher salary, I would go on vacation, but I dont and it seems like it will
never happen.

My life has no sense. It is full of problems and there is no way to get out of it. How can I be happy, if I have to fight with illnesses?
And the list goes on

Maybe you have heard this little story about two men sitting outside on a street at night. One of them says: This is such a beautiful night! Look at those stars in the sky! The other one answers with: Yeah, right Look at this mud and dirt under our feet And they both are right! There are stunning stars and there is dirt but if you keep looking at the dirt, and the mud, you will miss your chance to see the beauty, as beauty holds all the positivity! You might be thinking: Patricia, of course these are all good thoughts, you have so much energy, and joy, it seems to be a natural part of you. You dont have any serious problems... so you can stay positive! I am not you. It is hard for me to see the beauty, if I have to walk carefully trying not to step in the dirt I am trapped in my problems. This situation is so common. When we feel like we are drowning in loneliness, dissatisfaction and all the negative things that keep appearing into our lives, something like positivity just seems so smalland how can just being positive possibly bring any changes? Will I have more money? Will I find the love of my life or finally understand myself, if I smile more? This does not sound like reality to me at all. Reality is always full of obstacles we cannot change people, we cannot change and there is always something that brings us back down to earth. The same earth, which is covered with mud and dirt. Does this sound like YOU? I know how you feel. Trust me - I have been there and done that. I have been through rape, sexual harassment, mental and physical abuse, divorces, financial ruin, death of my parents and loss of a sibling. There has been a lot of mud in my life so I know that depressed feeling, when the only thing you want to do is cry, even though we clearly understand that even that wont solve anything. But it does feel good. Many psychologists will advise you that to solve any problem you need to know where it comes from. You need to find the root of this weed. You need to discover the reason why these problems are growing. Analyzing your problems is definitely helpfuland if you have started to analyze and try to understand your troubles, you probably have already taken a baby step toward making a change.which is great! Here is something I would like you to do. Take a piece of paper and start writing down things and obstacles that make you unhappy and that have held you back from enjoying your life. Putting it all on paper might seem like a pretty depressive processIn fact, you will probably feel sorry for yourself, especially if you compare yourself with other peopleDont do it! Stop and remember there will always be someone, who has an easier life, more money, smarter kids, more energy, bigger
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house, brighter social life, more friends, more free time, and less health problems. The media has made us believe that we should be to like Hollywood stars and popular people we see on TV. We think we need to achieve what others have achieved; so it seems like to achieve happiness we have to be like others. So lets not go there. So for now, write down the things that make you unhappy; so you can see them in front of you. If you keep looking at the dirt and not the stars you WILL attract more negativity into your life. There is NOTHING stopping you from creating more negativity in your life. But on the other side of it, there is NOTHING thats stopping you from creating more positivity into your life as well. Sooo, which one would you rather choose and which one is your heart longing for more negativity or more positivity in your life? Its that part of your mind (the negative part of your brain or the unbeliever), that believes if you dont get too excited about something and you dont dream too much, you will never face disappointment we are taught to believe this way and so we believe. But I want you to be smarter than 80% of the people living on this planet! Analyzing your problems undoubtedly can help you in finding some solutions. BUT! Analyzing is not a solution! The longer you keep analyzing and focusing on your problems and trying to see it from all possible angles, the longer it will take you to get rid of them. As long as your problem is standing in the spotlight, and enjoying the attention, it will not go away. If you keep your full attention on it, it simply cant go away. YOU have to let it go! Just like actors after the theatre play they keep coming back on stage again and again, and as long as the audience keeps standing and applauding they know they will get to see their beloved actors againso stop applauding the negative. Stop adoring your problems! Stop over-analyzing! When you are analyzing your problems for too long, you actually get deeper into them, all your energy sinks into the problem through worry, not growing and solving the problem. You waste years, precious and valuable moments in life because you are trapped into looking for solutions and analyzing the same problemsstop it! So we need to change thoughts of will I ever be able to enjoy the simple things in my daily life, especially after the death of a loved one? Will I ever be able to make friendships and relationships if I carry with me everywhere the burden of fear or what has happened in my past? Will I ever feel good about myself? Will I ever be able to inspire other people? The key to your changes is not analyzing, the simple answer is YES! You will be able to enjoy life but you must take ACTION! I didnt say this was going to be easy...but
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you can do it! I did itand I continue to do it every dayand that is taking daily action! THERE IS NO BETTER TIME TO START THEN RIGHT NOW! It is time to change your reflection in the mirror. Yes, you understood me correctly it is time to see another you in the mirrorI repeat It is time to see another YOU! Not the one, who WAS overwhelmed by problems and negativity, that person is IN THE PAST! There is a NEW person looking back at you right NOW and that is a HAPPY AND POSITIVE PERSON!

Step 1
Stand up in front of a mirror. Look into your own eyes and smile. Just look at yourself and how great you look, when you are smiling! It is old and undoubted truth that, no matter who you are, a smile is the most beautiful decoration any person can have, and now you have it! It is time to tell yourself: I am worthy of all good things. I believe in myself. I am happy. Tell it to yourself in front of a mirror, repeat it and feel the power of this affirmation growing stronger every day! Do this small exercise right now! There is no reason to move on reading this book without taking action you can read millions of books, but you will see no changes if you do not take action.and that action is nownow go do itI will waitlalalalalalala :) Great! You are back and smiling!!!! Right? Ok! Then we can move on... :) In the next chapters of this book, I am going to show you other exercises, which will lead you to successful life changes. You will also find here, concrete situations, their solutions and results from my own, my friends and clients personal experiences. Each word I am sharing with you is not a scientific theory or fiction book it is a practical method, which quietly works changes into our lives and help you to become your own cheerleader! Before we move to the next chapter, if you did not complete Exercise 1 Then do it right now! I know you (because I was you) and I know that you might doubt the effectiveness of something as simple and easy as this exercise. This small exercise never did any harm or caused any loss to anyone! There is nothing holding you back from creating more positivity into your life so go on...it may seem sillybut I wont tell anyone!! Go do it!!! Go look in the mirror!
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Make a move right now: the key to creating positive changes and getting Out of the Trap in your life is ACTION!

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CHAPTER 2

CLEANING OUT THE CLUTTER

Let me share the story of a young woman, who one day opened the door to cry on my shoulder: Jenna was a 36 year old single woman. She was making her career in marketing, she lived on her own, in a nice apartment in a big city, and she had an active social life, with two broken marriages in her past. People who knew Jenna very well, would never ask her about relationships being 36 and having had two failed marriages made Jenna say to herself: Im the greatest failure ever when it comes to relationships. And constantly the question was asked Do you have a special someone? this arose from everywhere - at work, at friends parties, visiting her mother, meeting childhood friends or talking to random people at social eventsShe felt like she was wearing a button that saidI am a Loser! Very often Jenna returned home after these events and sat down and fell into the memories of the past. She thought of these memories as great times, when she came home and spent evenings with her first husband right after they got married. They were so in love they both got tattoos, Jenna got a small tattoo of a butterfly on her hip as a symbol of their love, which made her feel like she could be free to fly. If she only knew that within two years, their relationship would turn ugly and that she would see him drunk every day She would think Ah, I am so stupid! How could I be so blind as to not see the red flags with him? Then her memories would move to remembering the good times with her recent husband, these memories would always turn into one of the most negative memories of her life. She would think about the beautiful painting of oriental flowers her second husband gave her as a gift for her
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birthday. Jenna loved this painting and since she got it, the painting always had a special place in her bedroom - even after she moved to a new apartment, the painting got a place on the wall in her new bedroom, but It also, always reminded her about the horrific car accident, in which her husband was killed. The rest of world always thought Jenna was born to be a career woman and not for love. People knew that Jenna had been through hard times and because of those hard times she had become very strong and focused. Jenna never let on that she always dreamed of being a loving wife and mother, not a business shark. Nobody knew that all Jenna wanted, yet feared the most was feeling useful and appreciated, not for her working skills, but for her inner beauty and kindness. What she had been hiding carefully, the past several years, was NOT to get hurt again. Since ancient times humans have gathered and collected things around themselves. We collect and save things we feel we need now, or things we THINK we will need tomorrow or someday. Gifts, different items that tell stories and are full of memories, and even broken things, which we will probably never ever use again, but we become so attached to these things, that we find it impossible sometimes to say goodbye to them. Even more happens in our heads. We gather thoughts, ideas, opinions, memories, impressions and emotions we collect and throw these thoughts one on top of the other until we are totally lost in it. Suddenly your mind acts like a flashlight with thoughts appearing like Look at the girl on the other side of the street! She is 10 times more beautiful than you!, Why am I so stupid that I cant do this, No wonder everyone leaves me if I wasnt myself I would leave a person like me too The list of these uncontrollable thoughts goes on and on, and you find yourself getting depressed. What a mess and so much clutter! If you keep lugging this baggage of problems and negativity around with you, nothing new and positive can enter in to your life. Would you cook your dinner in a pot, and then re-cook your leftovers the next day in the same dirty pot? I would hope you would at least clean that pot out first, right!!? And get rid of all the bacteria and old food! Well it is time to clean your mind, your heart and your room, and to say goodbye and leave your problems, and all that baggage, in the past! Let us start with your room! Cleaning your room is for sure the easiest part of cleaning out the clutter and in fact, if you do not clean your room, you make it even harder for your mind to clean itself. I am not telling you that you have to throw everything away, that reminds you of something or someone, but be honest with yourself! Do you have things around you that remind you of important people in
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your life, about your achievements and beautiful moments? Or do they remind you of stories which make you melancholic, and depressed about something or someone you have lost? Do the things make you smile or cry? If we get back to Jennas story I told you at the beginning of this chapter, you can clearly see things Jenna needed to get rid of, but didnt.. Fearing to lose her memories that tattoo and that painting. Now it is time to look at your own room. Photo frames, souvenirs, gifts, and even carpets and wallpapers! Why do you have to keep these things in your house that create negative thoughts? And let us be honest why do you have to live in those negative memories? As long as you live you will have memories of the good old times and that is fine, but you need to rid yourself of the good old negative times as they just add extra clutter and it will be hard for you to move forward if you are living in the past. The future could offer you something new and exciting, and you will not be able to see it, because your room is so cluttered that you miss what the future has to offer you! I was invited to one of my relatives birthday party, where I was sitting at the table with some other ladies around 60 years of age. One of them said, Oh my This next year I am turning 60 What else can happen in my life? What else can I do? Im so old? Another woman, who was already a little over this age, cheerfully answered 60! That sounds like a great reason for a big party! So, girls, where are we going to celebrate it? And they all started laughing cheerfully. One nice person with enthusiasm and energy easily brought out laughter and fun for everyone else, and, of course, people loved to be around her! At the age of 60, people in general have a lot of baggage, and this woman was no exception. What made her different was that she knew that age had nothing to do with how you enjoy your life! Whatever has happened in your past shouldnt hold you back from concentrating on new and exciting things that the future will bring you! Yesterday is goneLets live today!! First step in cleaning out your room! Material things are connected with spiritual and intangible things, and once you get rid of the mess in your room, you will make the battle with cleaning the clutter in your mind easier. Everything you see around you THAT IS YOU!... OMG! That is a lot!! Are you beginning to see what I am Saying?

Step 2
It is time to remove all things, which are holding you back, reminding you about painful stories or bringing out strong memories. There are people
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whose rooms look like memorials you do not need that. You are going to LIVE NOW, not in your past. Clean out the clutter in your room! Wash your dirty clothes, clean windows and change curtain or bed sheets. If you want changes, you have to make them! This is something you can do here and now! Let this cleaning become your ritual for starting something new! Show Happiness and Success that you are waiting for them, and you are ready to welcome them! There is a clean, shiny place just waiting for them! Now we have to clean the clutter out of your mind. I have been talking about the battle with our mind and I will keep talking about it: your mind can be your worst enemy IF YOU MAKE IT YOUR ENEMY. We all do this, when we want to make changes we fight with our mind. It tells us what we have to do, it quotes other peoples thoughts about us, it brings out memories of failures, it tells us what is good and what is bad, what is acceptable and what is not normal or crazy. Our minds know that looking for adrenaline and extraordinary activities works well for young people, but now that we are getting older we are suppose to become serious and rational. Our minds tell us that we have failed numerous times in the past, so we have to say no to trying again to avoid disappointment in the future and another failure. Our mind keeps telling us that nothing lasts forever, that all good things come to an end so why try.. and that we have too many problems to smileWe need to reset our MIND!! And this is how we start the process..

Step 3
You can do this either in front of mirror or sitting in a comfortable pose with your eyes closed (many people find it easier to do it in front of a mirror). Smile see your smile and feel your smile. Now you are going to become friends with your own mind! Tell your mind what or how you want to be in the present tense and thank your mind for being with you and helping you on this journey. Here is an example (you can use this example below or create what you want to say to your mind): YOU NEED TO SAY THIS OUT LOUD Thank you for bringing a smile to my face! Thank you for helping me to become happy! I am glad we are becoming good friends and can enjoy the beauty of life together. I am happy we are one! Your mind, just like your problems, likes attention! Give attention to your mind daily and your mind will bring you more positivity!
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Some people have told me that they find it very hard and almost impossible to control their mind, because there is always so much happening in our thoughts. What have yogis been doing for thousands of years? Learning to quiet their mind! What you are learning now is how to quiet your mind and make your mind work together with you, not against you. Just like you have cleaned your room, you have started to clean your mind from I cant, I dont want, its impossible. Clean your mind from these thoughts and clean your language from itto I can, I want, its possible. Whenever your mind starts to think you cant do something, take out your little mirror or find your own reflection on any surface, smile at yourself and say Hi! to your uncontrolled thoughts. Let them know that you have noticed them and let them know that now YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS, THEY ARE NOT CONTROLLING YOU ANYMORE!!. Remember.. You and your thoughts are oneand you are the boss!! The more positive thoughts that you have, the more positive events you will experience and positive things you will see. It will create a chain of positivity growing stronger every minute, because your mind will start working for you. Clean your mind out of negativity! Let your problems go! You no longer are going to focus on problems. NOW YOU ARE FOCUSING ONLY ON THINGS YOU WANT TO ATTRACT, YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY AND YOU ARE LEARNING TO SMILE EVERY DAY MORE AND MORE.

Step 4
Leave a note on your mirror with a little smiley face or write on it Smile! It will remind you that you need to be positive and it will strengthen the picture of the SMILING YOU in your brain. If you always see yourself smiling, your brain will have no doubt anymore that you really are happy and it will start creating positive feelings. We are changing your brains mind set!!! Do you still remember the story about Jenna I told you at the beginning of this chapter? Let me finish the story about how she cleaned out her clutter! First, she got a new tattoo over her old tattoo: her butterfly symbolized a lost relationship but she had it redone into a little Sun tattoo a symbol of joy, warmth, daylight and, undoubtedly, positivity. Until this visit to the tattoo artist, Jenna had just this one small tattoo, she made 10 years ago that was inspired by her lover, so getting a new
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tattoo over the old one was also a great and exciting new adventure. What reminded her once of failure and loss, was replaced with something that reminded her of how important it is to stay positive, and she started to smile more. There was also that picture of the oriental flowers on the wall in her bedroom. Jenna needed to say goodbye to this picture also. But instead of throwing it into the garbage, Jenna donated to the local Elderly home. They placed it in their dining room and it gave true joy to the people living at the home. Jenna received a beautiful Thank-You-letter from the home; she printed it out, framed it, and put on the wall in her room. Every time she looks at it now, she remembers the joy she brought to the people in the home, and the warmth and kindness she received there. When I met Jenna again right after she cleaned her out her clutter, she told me: I finally feel like breathing again. I never imagine that something like getting rid of old things can bring so many positive emotions! I feel like I have found new content for my life. No, I have no words yet to explain it, but I really like this feeling! She did not even mention anything about her previous problems, not even talking about how hard or easy it was for her to get rid of these reminders. She told me about her visits to the tattoo artist and the Elderly home and that was a beginning of a whole new life!

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CHAPTER 3

STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!

Before we get into talking about your comfort zone, what is happening inside there, why and how you can get out of it, let me explain to you, why we are talking about it, by this picture:

Your comfort zone is that safe place, where you are the king: you know this place very well and you can control it. You can also predict what will happen and how you should react. If we go back to Jennas story in the previous chapter and the things that were always reminding her of negative memories her tattoo with memories of her first husband and the picture of oriental flowers on the wall in her bedroom were in her comfort zone. Dont get this wrong: The comfort zone does not mark just the place where everything is always going right, like you want it. This is a place where you have the least amount of stress. You know very well the route to your work place that you take every day, and you know that your living place will look the same as it did a week ago, you know what you will wear to a conference, you spend your New Years Eve with the same friends each year, and you get at home at 7pm each night and cook dinner. You can predict that you will have a fight with your spouse making plans for the weekend, and you already know what you will say in different situations and so on and so on!

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Your Comfort zone is not a bad place! It is a safe place to be, because you have control over it. Even if your life is filled with different problems, you cannot solve - all these problems can become a part of your life in the comfort zone. When a new negative problem or something positive happens, it is suddenly pushing you out of your comfort zone. It creates stress, emotions, changes, but soon becomes a part of your comfort zone that safe place. Some people have asked me why do I ask them to step out of their comfort zone? Well if there is no comfort in your lives, yet all you want is comfort and safety. Then you will need to step out. Let me explain it to you. Take a look at these two small examples and you will understand: Robert had so many problems that people stopped asking him How are you? he always had a new problem his car would often break down on his way to work, his neighbors were noisy and he couldnt sleep well at night, he didnt enjoy his work and there were always unexpected situations dealing with unpredictable clients. He felt lost in it, and did not see any solution. All these problems often grew into even bigger problems. A New car or finding a new job was not a solution. He could not afford a new car. He could not change his neighbors. He also could not change his job, because he needed the regular income he earned at this job (although it was not a lot of money) but it was the only thing that seemed to give him some security in his life. People around him often said to him he should be grateful for what he has in his life and especially for having a job in a place where many people were fighting with unemployment. If he left this job, he felt he would lose that little part of stability he had left. Yet, Robert wasnt happy. The second example: Claudia and her boyfriend had been living together for 3 years, but their relationship had changed. They were fighting often, which resulted in a living situation at times, without talking for a week. Their relationship became cold, and they wouldnt talk about their sexual life that had been non-existent since their daughter was born. To get her relationship alive again Claudia tried many things planned their weekends so they could spend time together as a family, surprised her boyfriend with romantic dinners, when that didnt work she proposed that they should visit relationship psychologist, but her boyfriend refused, saying that the only thing that was wrong in their relationship was Claudia! All what Claudia wanted was a family where they all three would be one whole and happy family! Her boyfriend kept ignoring her desperate cries and Many times she started to pack her bags to leave together with her daughter, but where could she go? How could she take care of a child alone? How would her daughter feel growing up in a divorced family? She knew that she would have to face negative attitudes from other people, she knew that it
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would be hard to find a suitable place where she could live, because it needed to be close to her daughters kindergarten and her job. And people around her kept repeating: You have a daughter now and you have to think of your child! As you can see, both of these scenarios are difficult situations, and it is not easy to find a quick solution that would work. What kind of comfort zone are we talking about in both of these previously mentioned situations? In reality there was no comfort in either lives of these people? In fact, both situations are clearly showing the biggest reason that holds us back from changes FEAR. We get paralyzed by fear and, of course, we cant see any solution, because if we are scared we see only the negative, all solutions lead us to new negative events, new problems - fear takes us exactly to the place where we never wanted to be! At this moment in the story comes your own logical mind, which tells you: Life is not good, like it is now, but it will be even worse if I change something. You are thinking of problems that might arise from steps you are taking now. There is no guaranty that it will work What if you spoil everything and you cant get back even to what you are now? It is safer to wait a little more - just a little more patience and probably the problem will solve itself or go away! Sometimes problems suddenly get solved and situations change for the better without radical actions. Guess what happens! You listen to your logical mind and you stay exactly where you are in your comfort zone, because even if it is bad, your used to it! Your mind has warned you, but your logical mind does not want to create any more problems than you have now. So your choice is to stay in your comfort zone and be unhappy or miserable, or start to make changes! Yes, do you have to be patient to get results if you decide to make changes? Well, nothing comes fast but NOTHING COMES WITHOUT SOME KIND OF ACTION. Sometimes problems suddenly get solved and situations change for the better, but usually you have to take some action even if it is a small minor change, just a little dare, it can open a door to a better situation. You have to be patient, but PATIENCE DOESNT MEAN PASSIVE WAITING. YOU CANT WAIT FOR FLOWERS TO GROW, IF YOU HAVENT PLANTED A SEED. Dare to step out of your comfort zone! Dare to plant a seed even if you have never done it before! Wouldnt you love to see If you could make things better. How will you ever know what you could achieve if you dont try? It could be so exciting! There might be things you never imagined, right outside that comfort zone!

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What is out there? The border between your comfort zone and out there is very thin, and when you cross it you will find an entire ocean of new opportunities. There are different things and different options, they might be hard, and they might seem pretty uncomfortable for a while, but if you never dare to step out there, you will never get to know what life has to offer you! The only thing you need to get out of your comfort zone is COURAGE! Courage grows from MOTIVATION, but motivation grows strong, when you KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

Step 5
Find a moment to sit down peacefully with a piece of paper and a pen. This is the time to write down on paper exactly what you want. If you do not have enough money, do not write I need more money. Your task is to write how much you are going to earn (not how much you would like to earn, but how much you WILL earn). Here are some examples: I dont have enough money on your paper should turn into I am earning 4000 a month (or any other sum which you could earn). I want to travel make a plan with concrete places where you want to go This year Im visiting Paris Im tired of being single and feel lonely turn that into I have an active social life and Im meeting a lot of people to connect with. When you are start writing the things you want down, you are already helping yourself, you help your motivation grow, when you make positive statements. Let your mind start thinking in a positive way. The main goal of this step is that you stop thinking about what you do not haveand let your mind believe that you already have it! The biggest unbeliever is your own mind and you have to convince your mind of what you want! Now that you have prepared your list, do not put it somewhere you will lose it! You will need this list! Read it again and again, and keep it with you! Whenever you feel down, weak and wanting to give up, take out your list and read it again!

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How to get there? Now the question is - what is the right way to get to that miraculous place out of your comfort zone? How do I know that I am choosing the right way? How do I know that I am not doing the wrong thing? How do I make the right decision? How do I avoid mistakes? How do I know which direction I should go? Are you scared again? Life is full of opportunities. Whatever you do, wherever you go but you can make a mistake and still achieve great results. If you are scared of failing, you will live already failed you will live in your comfort zone, which will get filled with dissatisfaction in not finding your own fulfillment. When we are children, we do not know fear. When a child, who does not know how to swim, gets placed in the water, the child will enjoy being in the water and very soon, he will swim! If you put an adult in the water, who does not know how to swim, you will hear I cant!, I dont understand how to do it, and Im scared. Really, there is a lot we should learn from children, and the first thing to learn from them is, to keep our minds open! OPEN YOUR MIND AND IT WILL OPEN NEW DOORS. IT WILL BRING YOU CHANGES! Your time is too precious to waste it being scared. What we are scared of the most is failing. Ok, so you didnt get something you wanted. And? So what? You can always try again! So what if it doesnt come out the way you wanted it the first time. There is joy in working on achieving, and changing, or just being and seeing. There is no failing, just a different route or a different way of seeing things to get where you want to go!!! When you open your mind, failing become impossible! It is how you look at things! Just thinking about it, Im becoming overwhelmed by excitement and joy, because I know this feeling. It gives you wings. When you cannot fail, you become the one who
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has no borders. You can feel joy and happiness even when you do not have everything you can be happy being single, you can be happy not having the latest car and even fighting with health problems. The happiest person I ever met was an old woman living at an Elderly home she was living in one room with other old women, many of them with hard health problems, no family, nobody to visit them, nobody to take care of them and nobody to care about. The happiest old woman there was blind! She saw nothing at all, but when she was listening to music, she was always smiling, she learned to recognize people by the sound of their steps, she didnt stay in her bed, but was walking around and even dancing alone while other people wouldnt. She had so much joy in her life! Can you imagine that you would go on an excursion with other people if you were blind, even though you wouldnt be able to see what others see. She did it! She went on excursions with other people not complaining that she couldnt see what others see, but being happy for what she sees and feels. She was happier than millions of rich and healthy people in this world, because her mind was opened to seeing things differently. You can always make a list of problems, you can always cry for what you dont have, but you can also open your mind to positivity. It doesnt come fast, it is not that in one moment you suddenly will become free of negative thoughts. It asks for time and for action. You know the feeling of being in a circle of problems, one after another. But by opening you mind to positivity, by focusing on positive things, you will open the way to a new circle to that circle where after one win comes, then another one, after one beautiful moment comes so does another, after one achievement comes, another one shows upit becomes another circle, a circle of positivityand each day that circle of positivity gets easier and grows stronger.

Step 6
Take out the list you made on Step 5. Read the first statement, close your eyes and visualize it see yourself in that situation. See what you would see being there, hear what you would hear being there, feel that situation. Go into small details. Imagine the joy and pleasure that situation will bring you. Imagine what you would do when you visit Paris, where would you go in Paris, what would you do earning $4000 a month etc. See and feel all of this in your mind!

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Do the same thing with all statements you have on your list. Read them again and again at home, on breaks at work, right after you wake up, before you go to sleep. Do it in front of mirror read these statements looking into your own eyes. You can never repeat or feel it too much! When you are thinking about positive things, you want your mind to become comfortable with it. Soon it will become natural. When you dare to do something different, you are creating changes. When you know what you want, your mind starts finding ways to obtain it. You will always find your way if you know what you want, but as long as you walk around telling yourself you cant do something or you dont know how, you will stay right where you are. This is not a lottery. You cant wait for changes with no action. Even to win a lottery you need to buy a ticket, but even though you didnt buy one, you keep telling everyone that you have never won a lottery. YOU have to buy a ticket to win!!! Straight talk..!!! Some people easily get what they want because they were born accompanied by success? Not really. Success is what you build. There is an old Chinese proverb The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. It doesnt mean that you suddenly need to start running totally in the opposite direction. It doesnt mean that you need to wait for the right obstacles, right time or something else. It means that you have to start with small things, and for small changes, you dont need anything specific nor time, nor equipment. ALL CHANGES START IN YOUR HEAD. The places, where real wonders and changes are happening, are out there out of your comfort zone. So you feel ugly? Step out of it. See yourself today with different eyes. Go in front of the mirror and smile at yourself. You do not need plastic surgery you need to see yourself with different eyes, you need to love yourself and work with yourself. People are different and you have chances to succeed in all fields of life. You cant be ugly The biggest defect any person can have actually hides in our heads, its negativity!!! Nobody wants to spend their time with negative people, with those who are focused on problems, but, rather with people that are happy, who are spreading positivity, friendly laughter and love. Smiling at strangers may not be something you are comfortable doing? You are scared that people might think you are stupid if you walk around smiling? Stop thinking about actions you have never tried, and do not let your mind stop you! Try it! You will spread your love and receive back positive emotions! Stop judging yourself and start your changes today. There will never be a better time for changes in your life than HERE and NOW. Stop living with fear and doubt in the comfort of not believing in yourself. Dare to change something! Dare to change small things and soon you will find a way to change major things! Dare to be yourself, not your fear! Dare to smile despite having problems!
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Step 7
In fact, you already know what to do, but there is old Latin sentence Repetitio est mater studiorum meaning Repetition is the mother of knowledge, so: it is time to find yourself in front of a mirror again. Tell yourself: I believe in myself. From now on, I am enjoying every moment. I am fabulous, I deserve the best and I know what I want.

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CHAPTER 4

OMG! I Have To Change My Habits?

The word habit is a scary word we often relate to negative things, like, smoking, eating, drugs and other things, but you can also build POSITIVE habits! Whoo hoo! I cannot avoid quoting Frank Outlaw who said "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." And this is a very very true statement!! A habit is something that drives you, and takes you to different achievements. Smoking can create health problems, overeating creates lack of self worth and low self esteem and in turn leads you to potential depression. A habit (good or bad) is something that you dont think about, you dont feed it, or clean it you just do it, and you do not even fully acknowledge its presence when you do it. It can work for you or against you, without any effort. Therefore, instead of a negative habit working against you, create a POSITIVE habit to work for you (it is the same amount of effort) It will increase levels of positivity in your life! You just need some work, and some self-discipline while building these POSITIVE habits, but soon they will start building you better health, success, a future of vast opportunities. So It is worth it
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to put a little extra effort into something what will lead you to POSITIVE results the rest of your life! Here are some POSITIVE habits that can bring you more positivity: Exercising helps you to stay fit and get in shape; it brings more movement, which is what your body needs. It also helps to strengthen your heart, your muscles and overall health. Moreover, exercising increases your stress resistance, removes anger and sadness, having a positive impact on, not only your body, but also your brain. Oh, did you know that it gives you more energy? That is true the more you move, the more energy you have. Unbelievable, but true! And there are many ways to bring this habit into your life: jogging in the closest park, exercising in front of the TV, going to gym, participating at group trainings, weight-lifting, fitness, and such fun ways as dancing! You do not need any equipment or skills to start exercising 20 minutes 3 times per week just your willingness! By the way, dancing in front of a mirror counts. Or just dancing while on the way to the kitchen! Anything that gets you moving off the couch counts! No matter what all efforts and small changes will lead to results! Healthy eating.. Now we dont mean taking away everything that tastes good. But overall better choices will create a habit that will help you feel better and stay fit, to get more energy, to save (and improve) your health, and overall feelings. It will make you to feel lighter, and eating healthy (or at least healthier) will make you more aware of what is around you, and you will discover many new foods to taste. If you are not keen on healthy eating, it does not mean that you suddenly have to stop eating what you are use too... but in general you know that fast food is not good for your health, so - why dont you start by avoiding fast food at least 4 days out of 7 per week? You will probably save some money (whoo hoo), plus your body, including your brain, will thank you for eating healthier by functioning better and you will start to feel more positive! Meditation this is for sure the best way to deal with all possible problems, to learn acceptance and gratitude, to remove stress, to relax, to become happier and for sure, it is the greatest help, when you are trying to achieve something. For example, trying to stay committed to your new positive habit. Meditation is not necessarily related to any specific religion, but it is for sure, a spiritual process in which you grow strength, and develop your sense of life. You do not have to become a yogi, or sit quiet for 2 hours daily with your eyes closed and brain switched off it will be enough if you learn some easy meditation techniques and make it your own habit. 5 to 15 minutes of meditation in the morning will help you to start the day in a positive way, small meditations in your working breaks will increase productivity, and in the evenings it will create a peaceful sleep. There is no reason not to try everyone can

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learn it! Try iteven if it is just a 3 minutes of quiet timeYou have to start somewherestart small and it will be easier for the habit to adapt to you Goal setting and planning is a huge problem for many people and undoubtedly, it creates more problems. It actually doesnt take a lot of time or skills. Make a habit to write down, whatever you need to do you do not have to keep everything in your head. Keep your head clean, so you have more free space for positive thoughts. It really doesnt take more than a piece of paper and a pen to write down your to-dolist. You can also make your to-do list in the morning, or make it on the previous day and review it in the morning, so you clearly know what is waiting for you today. Planning will also increase your productivity, but goal setting can be a great help in prioritizing your tasks and duties to achieve what you truly want to achieve. Acts of kindness does not sound like a habit at all But it is among one of the greatest habits one can have! It is just amazing how much kindness and helping others will help us. First, with acts of kindness, you are making someone feel better; you actually are helping the world to be a better place to live Even for yourself. Every time you do an act of kindness, you bring joy to others, which in turn brings out positive emotions in you and undoubtedly increasing your own self-confidence and feeling of worth. It is easy to make this a habit compliment people, offer to help in small daily tasks, smile, listen to people and support them! Soon you will stop noticing that you are doing it, (why? because it has become a habit), but people around you will start recognizing you as one of the nicest and kindness people they have ever met. This will start rubbing off on others, as it is hard to be mean to kind people? People like to be around kindness and so you will attract kind positive people! So this is a good thingKindness attracts Kindness. Positivity attracts Positivityand soon a positive habit is born! Reading books and learning is one more great habit! This is a way you can feed your brain (so your mind has fresh information to process and it stops torturing you with negative thoughts), develop your intellect, new skills and abilities. Getting new knowledge will also increase your chances for a better job or promotion at your current job, it will help you to understand other people better, including yourself it depends of course on what kind of literature you choose to read or courses to take. Reading and learning is also a great way to relax, to entertain yourself and get away from your daily stress. Nobody asks you to become a bookworm or start studies at school. Take a book that seems interesting to you and read 2-3 pages a day! Want to visit Italy? What about learning 2-3 words in Italian language every day? See easy! Just start small! Discovering new places is what gives you new emotions. You do not have to travel far away from home, to become a tourist. If you dont have that extra money for that plane trip to Italy or are not keen on traveling in general, Instead, take another
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street or route to your job, check out new restaurants that have opened in your city, try new free time activities with your friends, go into buildings, which you have pasted from the outside many times, but have never gone inside libraries, art galleries, cathedrals and others. There are many opportunities to travel without taking a plane or a train! Discovering new places is also stepping out of your comfort zone, because you are doing something you have never done. It results in making yourself smarter, creating new emotions and adventures, discovering places to enjoy your time and meet other people. Moreover, it is how many people find new opportunities and meet new people by discovering and sharing their discoveries. Among your friends, colleagues and acquaintances you might even become an expert on places where to go for dating, partying or for relaxation.and that would be an entirely NEW eBook..LOL! In fact, for each of these good habits mentioned here you could find at least 10 more benefits .Now that is positive in its self!

How to make POSITIVE THINKING your habit? Everything starts from your mind the most powerful tool you have for building your day, your future, your success and destiny. Your success rises from your actions; your actions come from your words, but words from your thoughts. If you can plant positivity in your mind, it will start to grow through your everyday life and flourish in your achievements and life changes. It will also keep you in the safe zone when you face unexpected situations or problems. If you have read previous chapters in this book, you have noticed that I have mentioned affirmations many times. Here are some reasons why you should make positive affirmations your daily habit: 1) Affirmations work on your subconscious mind that is where the roots of your thoughts, dreams and actions are growing. 2) More you repeat something even if it seems to be just words- the more your mind believes in it as truth, that is present here and now. 3) Affirmations open your mind for your dreams to be fulfilled. 4) "Words have power. They work. That is why poetry can affect people. That's why music and lyrics and songs affect people, and that's why chants and prayers and affirmations and all those various things affect the frame of mind." - quote by Sammy Hagar

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Seeing your reflection in the mirror smiling happily just once will make you feel better, but it will not make changes for the long term. But seeing yourself happy and smiling every day you will see everything around you change. When you start repeating affirmations many times per day, your unbelieving mind will protest. It will not want to accept it, but once you make affirmations your habit once your mind has accepted it, positive affirmations will become a natural part of your daily life. In your life you will begin to enjoy more positivity with no effort at all! You have probably heard about the theory that to create a new habit no matter how good or bad you need 21 days of repeated action. I would say that 21 days is actually a great beginning or at least a half way mark. Once you have won the battle with these 21 days, fighting with your mind and trying to stay on track, you have already made your mind willing to accept these new changes, but it does not guarantee that in day 30 it will still be there. Keep practicing your habit 21 30 40 daysjust keep doing it (dont count the days)and suddenly you wont even notice that you are doing it, because it will have already become a habit. You will then look and realize that your new habit only took 35-50 days to establish. As for exercising, learning or building other positive habits, you may think you need more self-discipline, free time or specific equipment, but there is nothing more you need, than your wish to do it, to make positive thinking your habit. You do not need a lot of time, you just need to remind yourself to work with affirmations to repeat them as many times as possible. Scientific studies have found that your brain remembers things better if you are learning, reading or repeating it right before you fall asleep and right after you wake up. So this is a perfect time for positive affirmations. Start your day with positive affirmation and repeat it before you go to bed, it will be easier for you to accept your affirmations and keep them in your mind. While you sleep, affirmations will grow their roots, and affirmations in the morning will be a great beginning for your day. Affirmations in the morning and at night will become your daily habit! Repeat these affirmations in your mind make them your thoughts. Say them out loud to listen to how they sound. Spell them in front of a mirror watching your own eyes. Write these affirmations on paper in your agenda, calendar, leave stickers with affirmations on them everywhere in your home, or put a picture of an affirmation on your computer desktop so wherever you turn, you will be reminded of your affirmations. You have to say your affirmation at least 30 times a day. The more you repeat it, the better it is. Remember that the power of affirmations is in REPETITION!

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Do not choose too many affirmations to work on. Having less affirmations will be more effective. Choose one and repeat it as many times as you can. Give yourself a goal, for example 30 repetitions a day, then increase your goal to 50, then even more and then Enjoy your success. REPEAT, REPEAT AND REPEAT UNTIL POSITIVE THINKING BECOMES YOUR HABIT! Do you have bad habits you want to get rid of? Instead of wasting your energy fighting with negativity and bad habits, put your energy into new positive things. You can replace your bad habits with new positive habits and you will get double the benefit in one shot! Getting rid of any bad habit is always easier if you have something to replace it with, and you actually have many options. Whatever you decide, make sure you always are positive in your thoughts and that will be half of your success. Nothing can hold you back more than negativity, and nothing gets you closer to your success than positivity. Make positivity your habit, and soon it will become a natural part of you. Changes will not happen without some efforts.and yes you will need to put at least one foot outside your comfort zone!! When looking for a perfect affirmation to work with, make sure you have already done all the steps in the previous chapters. If you have not taken any action until now - it is time to do so. Go back and follow these steps described in the previous chapters!

Step 8
Choose your affirmation! Choose the one main affirmation you will repeat at least 30 times a day for the next 40 days! You can always fulfill your days with other positive sentences, thoughts and affirmations, but for effectiveness, you need one - your priority. Choose it now and start repeating it over and over.

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30 AFFIRMATIONS
To help you to find the most suitable affirmation, here is a list of 30 affirmations for different situations, priorities and desired life changes. Use them as an example for building your own affirmation or take one of these to become your own. You can mix them together and add something more, avoid all negative words like no, not, never', make your affirmations clear, do not put too many different things together, but you can also add clear numbers (for example, money you want to earn, date when you will achieve your goal).

1) Every day brings more joy, satisfaction and love into my life. I am surrounded by positive energy and sharing it with people around me. 2) I know what I want and I am ready for success. 3) Every step I make gives me more energy and inspiration. 4) Every cell in my body is healed by positivity, love and intelligence of my own body. 5) My body is strong and healthy. 6) I am surrounding myself with great people, who bring more positivity into my life. 7) Happiness comes and develops by every breath I take. 8) I am the source of my own happiness. 9) I am grateful for what I have now. 10) I believe in myself. I am strong and overwhelmed by creative energy that gives me motivation and inspiration. 11) I am enjoying every moment I live. 12) I am beautiful and attractive. My body and soul are in harmony and people around me can feel it. 13) I am a money magnet, because I know why I need it. 14) My eyes can see beauty. My heart can feel love and gratitude. My thoughts are positive and my body is filled with energy. 15) I am the decision maker in my life. I am standing on my own feet and building my own success. I am the only one who can affect my destiny. 16) Money comes to me easy and I am truly grateful for the overwhelming pay I receive for my job. 17) I dare to be myself. I dare to fulfill my dreams. I dare to live positive life. 18) The job I am doing brings me financial satisfaction and opportunities to fulfill myself.
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19) I have found the best job for myself prosperity, joy, satisfaction and love to my job are fulfilling every minute I spend working. 20) I am creating my destiny by love and kindness in my heart, joy in my eyes and peace in my mind. 21) I easily connect with people, because trustworthy, inspiring and kind-hearted people surround me everywhere I go. 22) I give love and I receive it. All my relationships are filled with love, acceptance and joy. 23) I can stick to my goals and achieve them. I know what I want and I am on my way to succeed with it. 24) I am fabulous! I deserve the best, I receive the best and I am able to enjoy it! 25) I am discovering myself, gaining more peace, understanding and acceptance. 26) I leave my memories in the past to build my future with positivity, which grows stronger in me every day, attracting more love, joy and prosperity. 27) Every day I am growing stronger in love. 28) My personal and professional development has made me known as an expert. My skills are in demand and I can enjoy freedom and joy of doing, what I like the most. 29) Today I am going to have a wonderful day full of positivity and adventures. 30) I can do it! Now remove from your face that exaggerated seriousness and grave look! Look into a mirror, smile at yourself, flirt with yourself, have fun with yourself and repeat your affirmation!

YOU REALLY CAN DO IT! SMILE!

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CHAPTER 5

MONSTERS! BE GONE!
Stop dreaming!, You cant do this, Its not going to work, It is impossible, Be realistic! you will hear phrases like these a lot. There will always be people, naysayers I like to call them, who will keep complaining and who will look with skepticism at your efforts to change something. There will always be somebody, who will try to stop you with Look into the eyes of reality! You should be saying back Is pessimism reality? Is focusing on your problems reality? REALITY IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE IT TO BE! There will be people who will keep telling you, its not possible and its not going to work. In fact, these are not the happiest people. They do not wish anything bad on you, when they are telling you that you are not going to succeed. They just cannot accept your new reality; they just dont understand. Accept other people as they are, listen to their opinions, but do not let them get you down. Do not be scared and do not hide from these people, do not try to convince them that your truth is the only truth in the world, but stick to your own truth. Do not let anyone to get you down. This is your life, right? You have FULL CONTROL OVER IT! If you look at successful people and their stories, you will notice three main tendencies: 1) There are people who have been taught good habits, positive attitude, their future profession etc since childhood, so all obstacles for success have been made as a strong base for their life. 2) There are people, who have made strong decisions, set their goals and ambitiously worked to achieve their goals.
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3) There are people who have experienced loss or struggles who suddenly were inspired in their life to turn to something different. They changed their path with courage and inspiration. Do you think that everything around these people on their way to success was nothing but shiny and harmonious? Just like other people they had to fight with health problems; losing loved ones or going through different unpleasant situations. Do you think that a person, who has worked 20 years in a bank suddenly decides to become a painter and leaves his stable work, does not have to face different attitudes towards his decision? If you think you cant change your life, just because youre older and you have never felt that special happiness or you think you had to be born into positivityNOT! So you didnt have a positive upbringing, thats ok, or the happiest childhood, the only tool you need is the willingness to changeand there is never a better time than right now. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO LET YOUR SOUL SING! We are unfortunately trapped in the stream of very unimportant information that reaches us every day from every corner. We absorb negativity into our lives. We get bombarded with pictures of skinny models and famous singers they all seem so beautiful, so perfect. We want to look like they look, but we forget that we see them in photo shopped pictures behind make-upit is all a faade. In their daily life they all are real people just like you! Have you ever heard people say, Oh, Im too old to do anything like that! I am not a child anymore. Well I am going ask you now to open your mind and look at children: A child falls down, gets hurt, cries for 2 minutes, gets up and goes again! At the moment, when it truly hurts, they feel it and they let their tears come out, but they dont keep crying about it for the next 5 days, as we adults do! Children usually forget their troubles very quickly; they just do not focus on feeling sorry for themselves, so they are free to be joyful! Do you really still have to cry about what happened 2 months or 2 years ago? YOU CAN BE HAPPY HERE AND NOW! Have you seen pictures of happily smiling barefooted children in third world countries, where people are fighting with hunger, disasters and wars? Many of them already at the age of 8 have experienced a lot of dread - more than any person in an economically developed country during their lifetime. If you were to see this, you might even break down emotionally, just from what you see. But these children are smiling! They are able to find and spread positivity even with obstacles, we would call extreme! If they can be happy, THERE IS NO REASON WHY YOU CANNOT BE HAPPY. YOU CAN!

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They do not realize that they should be scared, so they are not scared! I already mentioned the example of a child who cannot swim, compared to an adult who cannot swim. The child does not think about how hard it is and he learns to swim very quickly, while an adult will think - What if I sink? What if I cant get out? I dont understand how to do it... I cant do it... Adults are scared because they imagine negative results, where children imagine what they want, not what they dont want. When a little girl sings in front of a mirror with a bottle of moms deodorant in her hand in the place of microphone, she is not just a small girl with paper crown on her head: she IS a famous singer and the crown on her head is made of gold! What children fear is the bad wolf living in the woods or that monster, which comes out in the darkness. What I am saying is that kids are scared of things adults have told them to be scared of. We know that there is no bad wolf or monster, but we tell it to our kids and they accept it as truth... So quite ironical, when we grow up, we accept for ourselves, other types of monsters we start fearing what might happen, what if... we FEAR MONSTERS, WHICH DO NOT EXIST. Just some of these monsters:

What will other people think of me? What if I do not achieve my goal? What if some unexpected obstacles break my plan? People will laugh at me if I fail...
To overcome your fears FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE RESULT! Kids do not feel shame! They do not realize shame shame about what they just said, shame about how they dance, shame about not knowing which fork they should use first in a posh restaurant. They do not feel bad about themselves if something fails or if they do not know what others know. As adults, we just walk around feeling ashamed of what we did or that we failed again and again. As adults we feel there is no time to enjoy life and feel happy, we choose to fear, to feel ashamed and believe in non-existing monsters. Sam was 68 years old. After his wife Elisabeth died, it took a long time for him to get back to life and enjoy it again. He had 3 grandchildren, who visited him from time to time, but they were not enjoying it because their grandfather, who used to be cheerful and active, now was talking just about that great life he had before, and the awful times he is going through now. Sam often used to say, I am old and nobody needs me. It is better if I go to my Elisabeth. I have nothing to do or live for in this world anymore. His grandchildren still loved him, but lets be honest do you
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enjoy being around a person, who is always telling everyone that nobody needs him? Especially when you know that you love this person, but he is so overwhelmed by monsters in his head, that he cannot see your love... Sam was not even looking for changes. He wanted to go to his beloved Elisabeth. One day his grandson came to show his grandfather the motorcycle he just bought. When Sam was young he had driven a motorcycle several times, he really loved it, but could never afford one. When his grandson offered Sam to try it, Sam said that he was too old for it. Somewhere deep down in the corner of his heart, he really wanted to, but there was something holding him back. But when his grandson visited him the next week, Sam got on that motorcycle. What a great ride it was! Like going back to his youth! That exciting feeling! After two weeks, Sam visited his grandson proudly sitting on a new motorcycle his own motorcycle. His grandchildren were overjoyed seeing this and undoubtedly Sam felt the same. Yes, there were people saying, Oh, that old man is gone crazy! Buying a motorcycle at his age is he out of his mind? How stupid is this! But Sam did not care about it. If someone told him he was crazy and an old man should take a bus where it was safe, Sam joyfully answered Hey sitting on a motorcycle makes all these old and stinky thoughts rush out of my head faster. Want me to take you for a ride? His life changed. He crossed this one threshold of old and stinky thoughts and got into a new circle: he got back to an active social life, where he was again making people smile and laugh, and he was for sure the coolest granddad in town! His attitude was so positive, that even those, who at the beginning were saying that Sam was out of his mind, just stopped doing it! He did not care about negative opinions, he did not fight with people trying to make them accept him, he just answered with a smile And he became an inspiration for many people. When you get free from the monsters in your own head, you cannot fail, failing does not exist! Stop fighting with the monsters they are not here!

YES, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SING WHILE WALKING ALONE ON THE STREET! YES, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DANCE IN YOUR BEDROOM IN FRONT OF A MIRROR! YES, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SMILE AND LAUGH RIGHT AFTER SOMEONE HAS CRITICISED YOU!

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YES, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ENJOY THE SAME ACTIVITIES THAT BROUGHT TO YOU PLEASURE 20 YEARS AGO! YES, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE NO MONEY AT ALL IN YOUR ACCOUNT! YES, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DAYDREAM! YES, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GO YOUR OWN WAY EVEN IF IT IS VERY DIFERENT FROM THE ONE PEOPLE AROUND YOU HAVE CHOOSEN! YES, YOU ARE AT YOUR BEST AGE! YES, YOU ARE FREE TO STOP FIGHTING AND START ENJOYING! SAY YES TO NEW IDEAS, ADVENTURES AND CHANGES!
What I want you to get out of this chapter is...YOU can and are allowed to get rid of the Monsters in Your head

YOU have choices!

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CHAPTER 6

YOU GOT THE LOVE.. NOW SHARE IT!

In your life, you need to consider yourself number one! Before your parents, your kids, your spouse, lover or friends. Are you shocked? Because you think it is egoistical to see yourself more important than your loved ones? In fact, it is not egoistical at all!!! Can your loved ones be happy if they do not see you happy? Can your parents be happy if they see you sad? Can your children be happy seeing you crying? Can your employer be satisfied with you if you are always complaining? Can you share love if you are not happy? Changes start inside of you. Your happiness starts inside of you, comes out of you, spreads and can change everything around you. If you have gone through this book and done all these steps previously mentioned, you have started to strengthen your positivity. To make it even stronger, now it is time to share your love! Cheering up other people, making them smile and helping others, will actually cheer you up. Sharing your smile or complimenting people around you, is so easy! It doesnt ask anything from you nor does it cost you anything, but it gives you so much. This is what you get when you share love, positivity and helping others:

You improve your relationship with other people. You learn appreciation and gratitude. People feel good while spending time with you.
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 People listen more carefully to those they like and your positivity makes
them want to listen to your advice, or simply your daily stories.

You become a positive model for your children, colleagues and friends. You become more self-confidence. You strengthen your own positivity.
We have learned to give and take growing up, but giving is what it is all about. There is nothing to lose, sharing your love and giving to others; there is nothing to fear! Do you remember the story about Jenna I told you in chapter 2? Let me remind you: Jenna was living surrounded by things carrying her memories from her past. One of these things was a picture of oriental flowers she truly loved and always placed in her bedroom. Cleaning out her home Jenna took the picture to the elderly home and left it there as a gift getting away from her past memories, giving a new life to the picture and making people at the elderly home to smile. The story of Jennas new life does not stop here! After her act of kindness, Jenna was kept informed about events that were happening at the elderly home and for some of these events she was invited to participate as a volunteer helping older people in their gardens, taking them out for walks or she could assist then with travel to doctor appointments etc. At first, Jenna was to busy with her career and personal development to volunteer for something like this. Secondly, she was not keen on spending her time with older people she did not know and she thought that seeing people and helping these people, who have lost a lot in their life and were fighting different illnesses would depress her she did not think that this would be inspiring or uplifting at all. One of these days, she said to herself, Ill try it., And if I dont like it, nobody will push me to do it again. Finally Jenna agreed to volunteer at the elderly home helping to organize the Easter celebration. When she came home that evening ,she was overwhelmed with positivity: she was surprised by the emotions she had, she was proud of herself for volunteering and giving joy to others, But Besides that, Jenna received so much appreciation from the residents who were there and she realized these people were not depressing at all. These were people who did not have half of what Jenna had, but they were happy and shared what they hadtheir love! Her experience was not at all as she had imagined it, it encouraged her to accept more challenges and lose her fears. She began volunteering more often and realized how much she gained in her own personal development. She was learning from the kindness of others! Positivity creates more positivity. Every time you share your love with others, you receive it back! Even if you do something as small and seemingly unimportant as
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smiling while walking on the street, it is important! EACH SMILE CREATES MORE SMILES! Have you ever had a situation when you were in a bad mood and walking on a street, and you suddenly see someone or something that makes you want to smile? Sometimes these small unexpected or random things can instantly change your mood and remind you to smile. By smiling at a random person walking towards you, you can change someones day. Yes, you truly have the power inside YOU! I have a fan page on Facebook, it is called Smiles and Rainbows: Positive Ways with Patricia Love. On this page, I am posting every day greetings, uplifting quotes and pictures, smiling reminders and affirmations. This is my way to share my love with people around the world every day, this is my way to express my gratitude and inspire other people to live a positive life. When you do these small things, like sharing your love, you receive a lot more back. Many people have thanked me for creating this page that has reminded them to stay positive. They say I am inspiring them, but even more, these people are inspiring me! When you get into that circle of positivity, it grows stronger and wider, so share your love! Do not hesitate to tell someone how wonderful they are, do not hesitate to thank, to smile or hug. This is an easy way to grow strong in your own positivity, and attract more positive things and events in your life! Positivity and your own happiness is not something that comes from external things. Your greatest changes and your happiness come from inside yourself in your mind, in your heart, in everything, that you do. Obstacles? You are creating them! Share your love and you will never be left alone in desperation affected by any obstacles! Share your love now! Share it with people, who do not ask for it! Offer your help and smile! Before you go out to enjoy the day and share your love, I have two more steps for you to do right now, to help become more positive. You think happy people have it all, right? Well, YOU have it too! You just have feel it and bring it to the surface!

Step 9
It is time to look at what you have. Take a piece of paper and write down all the reasons why you should be happy write down all your personal reasons. You will discover that there are many things you have, but other people are just dreaming about. Have no inspiration? Let me help and share with you some things I have on my list: besides material things that are around me, I am grateful that I have my own mind and I am free to decide, I am
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able to see to read books and enjoy sunsets, I can hear birds singing and people laughing, I can hug those, who are missing it. I am happy! And I know you can be happy too! Now write down all things you are grateful for on a piece of paper material, spiritual, inspiring things, people who are next to you. Do not put this list far away, but read it again any time you wish. Complete this list and add on new things that make you happy, whenever you find something else! Make this list now!

Step 10
Read this list out loud: I am grateful for what I have. I have so much; I am positive and have positive thoughts only. I have love and joy to share with everyone daily. Now stand up, look at yourself in a mirror, smile and repeat it: I am grateful for what I have. I have so much. I am positive and have positive thoughts only. I have love and joy to share with everyone daily.

Good luck in your journey into the new world, where you can see smiles and rainbows and you create them on your own! It all starts from within you! Become your own Cheerleader! You will be able to lead others to do the same. Your destiny is in your own hands! Start NowFind YOUR WHOO HOO!!

The formula of happier life and happy you is simple:

THOUGHTS + ACTIONS

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