Your Testimonial Makes a Difference

Making visible the gender in our lives

Lima, Peru July 2012

Your testimonial makes a difference: making visible the Gender in Our Lives a publication of the Gender Equality Program of CARE Peru General coordination Maria Elena Reyes - Gender Equality Program Coordinator Technical consultation Gabriela Ayzanoa - National Communications Advisor Competition jury Mariela Jara - Journalist Design & layout: Juan Jose Vasquez Photography Cover and interior: Juan Jose Vasquez / CARE, Archivo CARE Print Publimagen ABC SAC Calle Collasuyo 125, Lima 28 National Library of Peru Legal Deposit N 2012-07586 CARE Peru Ave. General Santa Cruz 659 Lima 11, Peru Telf. +51 1 4171100 www.care.org.pe

Your Testimonial Makes a Difference

Making visible the gender in our lives

cOnTenTs
Introduction Winners testimonials
To be reborn Never again!! Women: owners of their lives

01 05
07 09 13

Honorable mentions
Moving forward together Challenges Mrs. Chelita A personal challenge in the family A shared destiny Innovations for applying gender in CAREs Maternal Health Program

15
17 19 21 23 25 27

Participants testimonials
The story of Luz These times are very different to my mothers My testimony: Biddy: building a dream If we want to, we can It had to be a woman!

31
33 35 37 39 41

Annex

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inTrODUcTiOn
On the occasion of International Womens Day, CARE Perus Gender Equality Program organized the 1st internal national competition, Your testimonial makes a difference, in order to promote a space for individual reflection in which each of the organizations employees could share testimonials of life that express the daily challenge of understanding and achieving gender equality. From the programs strategic perspective, the competition was intended as an educational tool to make gender visible in our lives by establishing, from the testimonials, the link between the conceptual and experiential. As such, the tool has been designed to generate critical thinking, questioning skills, beliefs and perceptions that hinder gender equality, having been proposed as a space to move consciousness in the working environment of CARE Peru. Two key moments in this process: Individual reflection both by the people who participated formally in the competition and all those who, following the announcement of the competition, have shared questions, concerns and feelings with us on how to verbalize their experiences. In the opinion of the jury panel that evaluated the testimonials, the vast majority highlight the weight of traditional upbringing in a patriarchal society like Perus, and its negative impact on the lives of women and men, and on gender relationships that are established from mandates and from common sense that are learned from birth, even from the womb (Mariela Jara, Jury member of the Competition).

Mara Elena Reyes

Coordinator Gender Equality Program CARE Peru

01

Collective reflection on the shared testimonials, the expressions of identification with the reported experiences, the gestures of solidarity, the attitude of respect and recognition of the capacity for transformation. Following the awards, the testimonials have acted among other persons as means of identifying similar experiences and with it, the recognition that all people are affected by gender inequality. However, it has been important to show a before and now, the evidence of change in which the importance of education, training and professionalization of women with subsequent access to employment are strongly emphasized as fundamental tools to assert processes of autonomy and the exercise of rights.

Lessons learned from this methodological exercise: 1. The challenge of narrating ourselves, describing and naming our everyday actions, and giving shape to inequality and the mechanisms used to challenge it. The individual story to be shared collectively critically questions the everyday with the aim of finding solutions. 2. The testimonials have given visibility to the strong link between the private world with the public world, breaking the myth that they are worlds apart and operate with no apparent connection, when the reality is that they condition each other, and that the private is space par excellence where major transformations occur. 3. Ethical considerations. The critical issues addressed in the testimonials have been treated with responsibility and respect for the personnel of the institution as a whole. This was considered from the design of the rules to the consultation with each participant to obtain informed consent for sharing the testimonials in the awards ceremony and in this publication.

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Finally, it should be noted that this experience is part of the strategy of incorporating the gender approach in the organizational culture of CARE Peru. These 14 testimonials show the long-term, often painful, process that has made change possible and, at the same time, show us that it is possible to see the world in an egalitarian and inclusive manner. This is the beginning.

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Winners TesTiMOnials

TO Be reBOrn
firsT Place BY: nellY HOrna PseUDOnYM: PirincHa

order to entertain them, not disturb others while maintaining sufficient attention in class. I also had to survive the terrorist attacks that soon took over the city. That same year, on a December afternoon after six oclock, my eldest son of 11 years was caught by surprise away from home during curfew. A glow shone through the opening of the door and I heard shouts close by, I could see my child in the center of a group of police pointing to his head. I worked my way through them and protected my son with my arms, asking for an explanation ... This moment fluttered around in my conscience, I was risking the lives of my children and my own life to maintain a mask of marriage and not be crushed by family pressures. I recognized the stark reality, I was alone against the world, protecting and taking care of my children. Everything depended on one decision: to continue or to be reborn. I decided to be reborn, return to the home of my parents and enforce my decision (separation was against family principles). I got the support of my father. I worked, studied and participated in personal and professional development groups, while avoiding obstacles. I was able to strengthen the rules of living with my children, organize our schedules, tasks, responsibilities and fun time. We had little time together, but we made it worthwhile, even in little jobs they all supported me: making banners, validation before learning sessions for the kindergarten, entertainment at childrens parties, childrens theater, etc. If there is something Ive wanted to convey to my daughter and sons with my actions, it is to struggle to achieve their dreams, to be proud of themselves, between them and others, to be able to freely choose the path they want to pursue. I am proud to have achieved my personal goals, having overcome the barriers that, as a woman, my surroundings had placed on me. Im about to see my last child graduate and to see life on track and useful for the four. My development and personal betterment are my continual challenge; regardless of how great the adversity, I know I can be reborn.
07

I was born and raised in a home with traditional customs, where women were engaged in household chores and study a simple trade to complement the household chores. From my childhood, I refused to accept these customs. The routines, the separation of tasks between men and women were so unequal that I did not consider them fair. At 17 years old, I thought that I had outgrown the traditional ties and an easier path awaited me to become a professional. Suddenly a nightmare came over me, changing the direction of my plans. My mother had found the ideal person for me to make a family. I expected to find the backing of my father to get away from this pressure, but he also joined the cause. Without recognizing my own wishes, the marriage took place on the day before I legally became of age. A few months later, my husband got custody of his 5 year old son, who became the eldest son, bringing a smile into my life; our three children came later. At age 25, with four children, I insisted on studying. I entered with honors to the Pedagogical Institute in Santiago de Chuco, where my husband worked and where I went for the first time to take the entrance exam. Getting organized to study was difficult in the early months; I went to the institute with my two young children in tow, juggling in

neVer aGain!!
secOnD Place BY: Teresa OJeDa PseUDOnYM: anGela Ma

should be strictly confined to bed, which I couldnt do because I had no one to care for me ... Three weeks later, I returned for an emergency, as I was bleeding heavily and had intense pain in my belly ... . I had an ultrasound and they confirmed that my pregnancy was multiple: they were triplets! But one of the babies was losing its heart beat, and during the next two weeks, I lost two of the babies, I was only able to save Andrea. My second pregnancy was also a problem, this time they were twins, one of whom died because his father, in one of his outbursts, smashed the table onto my belly during dinner. It was impossible to avoid the tremendous blow aimed at my babies from 5 months of pregnancy, because I had my back against the wall .... only Alejandro was saved. Other beatings were numerous and did not leave injuries on my face, only on my body, arms and legs ...... I took care of those injuries silently without the knowledge of my children, and I only went to the hospital when I could not care for myself. Then there were his insults, rudeness, insults, blackmail and threats that marked my soul, or the place in which one has feelings ..... I could not heal those wounds, which left indelible marks in the depths of my being. Today I looked to the past, and acknowledge having been raised in a culture of submission; my mother was careful to train me to be a submissive woman, according to the model and demands that my grandmother had taught her. I remember being convinced that the teachings of my mother brought the secret to happiness with them: I only had to be a woman who was industrious, caring, sensitive, loving, and when married, to also be very obedient to whomever would be my husband, as well as tolerant, faithful, docile, very sympathetic, among many other qualities that I should cultivate wisely. But one of the phrases that rang in my ears was that advice that my mother tirelessly repeated: The success of marriage depends on the intelligence of women. And as simple as this phrase seems, the meaning behind it guided my life during those 7 years and some months of marriage. I mean, a successful marriage was that which is not dissolved, that didnt end, that stayed
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The first beating I received was when we had been married almost three months, and I was four weeks pregnant ..... it happened while we were leaving the birthday party of his sister, he was again invaded by unfounded jealousy, and as soon we turned the corner, I received the first blow, he grabbed my hair and slapped me twice .... I was still reacting when I felt a punch in my stomach that made me bend over in pain .... It was just the preamble announcing the knees to my stomach ...... and finally, countless kicks fell all over my body while he dragged me by the hair and an arm towards the next corner ..... It was nearly 2:00 am, there was nobody on the street and my moans could barely be heard, each strike silenced me more and more: for the first time, fear had paralyzed me, had silenced me ... Everything was spinning and it was very difficult to distinguish what part of my body hurt the most .... Until there was an unspeakable pain in the center of my gut and I started bleeding: it was my first pregnancy and the threat of abortion began .... I could not believe what had happened to me! I didnt understand why I received so many blows from the person who, just two and a half months ago had sworn before an altar to love me till death do us part. The next day I went to the hospital and they confirmed the threat of abortion, that I

intact forever, and the intelligence of the women meant, therefore, that the women would take responsibility for keeping holy matrimony, and act intelligently but ingeniously and justify, bear, understand, tolerate, excuse, and forgive any lies, infidelity, use and abuse of family resources (generated mostly by the woman), humiliations in private and in public, and ETC1: The aim was to make the marriage continue to be successful! I spent over 7 years making my marriage successful and sustaining the unsustainable, and that was only possible by complying with the model of being a woman taught by my mother and reinforced by my teachers in school. But there were also other details that enabled this cycle of violence to continue: (i) not having my parents and brothers in Lima, I had no one to turn to at any time, (ii) this man cut me off from my friends, changing the phone number over and again, and denied me to make or receive visits, (iii) I had no income (I stopped working when Andrea was born and returned to work after 5 years), (iv) I was not aware that what I was living with every day was called violence, (v) I didnt know my rights as a person and as a woman, and so, I had no notion that I had rights, (vi) I learned to get ahead and avoid his possible reasons for aggression, (vii) I learned all kinds of excuses to justify his attacks and to lighten my cross, (viii) I learned that consent and compliance with his conjugal rights was a way to protect my integrity and security (refusing to have sex meant being accused of having a lover, so my supposed infidelity had to be punished with more blows), (ix) I learned to survive in captivity. The change began to be generated in me when I returned to work as an interviewer in a project on violence against women, and to hear my own history of violence in the

stories of other women. It was when I began to realize what was happening to me, of my rights and of the serious impact that violence had had on my health: a deep depression, symptoms of post-traumatic stress (difficulty falling or staying asleep, nightmares, flashbacks and intrusions that caused me discomfort, frequent fear and anxiety, avoiding activities or places that reminded me of the traumatic events, lack of hope, difficulty concentrating, hyper-vigilance, etc.). My self-esteem was at rock bottom, I had feelings of guilt, shame, distrust, in addition to having suffered numerous injuries all over my body, urinary tract infections and abortions caused by his blows, among other injuries. It took me awhile to accept that I was another victim of violence by a partner, and my decision to end that relationship was sharpened when this man started to hit my children and threatened to kill me so that no man would ever notice me. This threat was repeated every day and extended to my children, for he stated that after I was dead, they would remind him of me. The last 3 months I lived with him, I was locked up in our comfortable apartment, my golden cage. On July 24, 2001, as soon as he went to work, I collected my childrens beds and clothes and mine, a few toys, the stove and some furniture and provisions from the pantry. That day I escaped, taking Andrea and Alexander with me: they were 6 and 5 years old and had learned much from the school of life, but it was time to learn to start over and that one can start from scratch. I would learn to be head of my home, to maintain it, protect it, that is, to be daddy while not stopping to be mom, and I also had the challenge of teaching my children that men and women are equal in abilities, qualities, but above all, in rights. I had to make them understand and practice that ones rights end where the others begin. I had to change the life scheme that I had learned from my mother and to re-educate my children in a culture of fairness.

1 Within ETC is found every imaginable and unimaginable physical, psychological and sexual and other mechanisms of control, abuse and torture.
10

Mommy, it doesnt matter that now we are poor! The good thing is that nobody shouts, nobody insults us, nobody beats us ...... Alexander whispered softly as he stroked my forehead ...... It was the morning of July 25, 2001, we were in the small room where we had moved and I awoke with the sound of my little one, who convinced me that the nightmare was over! I looked into his eyes and told him thats right, my son, and that will NEVER happen AGAIN!2

2 Today Andrea is 17 and has begun her studies in International Business and Management, Alejandro completed 16 years, is in his last grade of high school and is already studying to be a chef.
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WOMen: OWners Of THeir liVes

THirD Place BY: cecilia ODar PseUDOnYM: rOMa
Born in the mid 50s, I heard my mother say that we women should not consider pursuing a long course of studies, since we would fall in love and drop out of school, and that instead, we should learn to cook well to be good housewives. And this, even though she was a woman ahead of her time, as she worked in an office like a man, as my grandmother would say. Something in me revealed itself at the thought of a life as a housewife, but the atmosphere of the time enveloped me, and I married at age 19. I soon realized I needed to develop professionally and had the ability to do so. Thus I decided to pursue a short course of studies before I got married, and look for work, but with the criticism of my husband who, with military training entrenched, frowned upon it, even though another income was much needed in the family. At first I had to endure insinuations such as that a young secretary is a decorative piece that does not think much. But after learning overseas how women assume their own lives, without depending on anyone, and knowing and asserting their rights, I returned to Peru determined to continue to work and collaborate as much as possible for women to assume their role in society.

And I began to combine my office work - where I was gradually achieving recognition for my work and ability - with that of the house, accompanying my children in their important moments, giving me time to talk with them and be their friend, without neglecting work commitments. Making good use of my time, I also assumed additional leadership roles in the office at the request of my female office companions, some of which had been intended for men only. When I think of the energy I displayed when my children were young, it seems like something unreal; to combine work responsibilities with those of the home, and to educate and guide the children at the same time seems like too much, but women achieve it with much effort and decisiveness. Fathers accompany and assist in this effort, of course, but most of the responsibility is assumed by the mothers, whether they work outside the home or not. In my case, I also survived the early death of one of my children and the onslaught of an aggressive cancer, but I was able to channel these tremendous adversities into strengthening my character and will. All this made me see life from different angles. There is a phrase that I remembered and that has guided me over many years: permit a man to raise his voice to you only when it is to congratulate you. And my children and my surroundings have always heard me claim my rights when they wanted to deny them, and always insist that both genders are on the same level. Leading the offices Christmas assistance group, two years ago I had the opportunity to talk to a womens association in Villa Maria del Triunfo, when I was moved by the drive and determination of these people to improve their lives. At the same time, the percentage of women killed in Peru is growing, and there is still a long way to go in our country before the rights of women are internalized and fully respected, but I think were on the right path, and every man and woman who is sensitized on this matter can do their part within their immediate surroundings. We just have to commit ourselves to making the wave grow.
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HOnOraBle MenTiOns

MOVinG fOrWarD TOGeTHer

BY: eliana cerDn PseUDOnYM: killa WarMi

Over time I became aware of the oppression that we women feel, sometimes subtle, sometimes brutal, but ever present, reminding us that we are part of the system, that we have roles to fulfill. As a professional woman I have often faced difficult situations. I remember once applying for a job, and the person who made the assessment did not choose me because they preferred a male engineer, on the grounds that the job entailed fieldwork and a lot of walking. I felt badly, and even worse when I found out that the request to hire a man had been made by a woman, a friend of mine at the time. The tough experiences I lived through helped me to reflect, to understand that equality begins with oneself. I learned to look at myself, to recognize myself, to feel who I was, to explore my skills, my strengths, and also my weaknesses, all of the things that made me a unique and complete woman. But above all, I learned not to resign myself, not to remain silent. I feel that the road towards personal and work equality, and towards equality in society in general, is still long. To make the journey less hard, we can join with other women, organize ourselves, share our feelings, what we experience, what we have learned. Besides not losing our capacity to question reality, the more women who are aware of what is needed, the more great changes we can achieve. I want to celebrate March 8th among women, friends, sisters, colleagues, coming together in our similarities and in our differences, accompanying each other on our paths, celebrating our femininity and remembering all those who fought, who paid with their lives, for the progress towards equality.

Even as I child I sensed that women were treated differently, those small attitudes that seem insignificant but that mark the inequalities between girls and boys, such as pink dresses, kitchen sets and baby dolls for the girls, while the cars, trains, building blocks and toy weapons were for the boys. I didnt understand then why we were prepared from a young age to take on different roles in life, nor did I even ask myself about it, I just felt it. I studied for a career in which most of the professors and students were men, and some of them still believed that engineering was not a career for women. They were careful not to say it openly, but they would hint at it, in their pranks and the jokes they told, insinuating that we would be unable to carry out the hard work in the field; others were overly condescending, as if we were incapable. Even so, we women always stood out, not only in the academic work but also in the field practices, in which the farm work was sometimes heavy-going.

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cHallenGes
BY: Mara nGela OrTZ PseUDOnYM: lOTUs flOWer

and formal those were other times, of course. How could I ask them why my appearance was different? I dont know how much later it was when we were suddenly standing in front of my parents, my older brothers and I, and they were being instructed to teach me to read and write because your sister will not be going to school. A strange feeling welled up inside of me, and what would I do, if everyone went to school? I couldnt sleep that night and I could hear the answer that I had been seeking in silence: our daughter must not suffer, what we are doing is to protect her from insults and marginalization, the vaccine didnt arrive in time, she has suffered a great deal in her rehabilitation. Faced with this parental confession, there was no time to lose. It was the start of another time, I had to show that I could learn and that would make them change their mind. And I can say, as in the old and still valid adage, that the lessons were beaten into me. And then one day as my mother was watering the front garden, two gringa nuns in grey habits were talking to her, making a marvelous education offer for me. I always thought it was the prize for my dedication, a full scholarship in an excellent school. It was one of so many happy days in my life, and thus I began my school life, the most beautiful phase. If I had achieved my dream of school at such an early age, why not aim for more objectives? Lying on the fresh, green grass in the garden, I was dreaming that I worked in an office. It was another challenge, of becoming a secretary, which in those days was a mission impossible, because secretaries were a pretty and with a perfect image. I wouldnt achieve it by staying with my parents. They had taught me loyalty, commitment, respect, equality and love, but I would have to leave the comfort of home in order to grow in freedom.. And despite the hard journey, I made it.

Those were other times, scenarios, ideals, other expectations. Anyway, a series of others, and there I was, in front of the wardrobe mirror in my parents bedroom the essence of my life and I was asking myself, at the mere age of six, why the image reflected a little girl who walked differently and whose legs were hidden by trousers that played the sad role of hiding those horrible braces that helped hold up my small body. As I looked around, I couldnt find anyone who could give me an answer, and my image turned sad. That was the expectant beginning in the face of my surroundings and their players, and the window in the living room became the perfect place from which to observe the outside world and there they were, girls running happily, with beautiful dresses and walking straight. My dress was beautiful; it was made by my mother courage, with special love and dedication, as everything she did for her children; she was an exceptional woman. Just as every afternoon I would see my father come home at the same time, a simple and tireless fighter for labor rights, with a firm step and elegant gait, serious

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It was the start of a series of challenges that came with favorable results, and with the privilege of being a woman I enjoy my work, I am self-sufficient, capable of leading my life with a positive attitude and joy. Even so, the challenges never cease, there is still much to polish. I am happy, and wish that all men and women would believe and trust in themselves. Life is full of possibilities, and the only difference is the one we give space to; each day brings us the opportunity to change. This thought sums up my life challenge: To attain something you have never had, you will have to do something you have never done, and if you do it with honesty, dedication and perseverance, you will achieve incredible things.

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Mrs. cHeliTa
BY: GaBriela aYZanOa PseUDOnYM: MaTa Hari

I have so many memories of her sacrifice combined with the tenderness that only a selfless mother would give us. Serve me quickly because Ive got to get back to work, Make something because some friends are coming over for dinner in fact, if chef Gaston Acurio would have been there 40 years ago, Im sure he also would have praised her talent in the kitchen, from the buffet for foreign friends to the daily meal, carefully balanced and above all, delicious. But Chelita was not only an excellent chef. She was also administrator, economist, planner, teacher, nurse, seamstress, psychologist, physician, and whatever else had to be done to fit into the mold of good wife. That is how I saw her grow old, putting aside her university degree to bring up four boys who were unruly and happy to have their mother always with them. I also saw her as solicitous, tolerant, obedient, submissive to the commands of the head of the household. I grew up, keeping under a hundred locks and keys the shout that I silenced more than once: ANSWER BACK! And during my nights of adolescent insomnia, I imagined scenes, photographs and scripts in which Chelita would answer

him back with the strength and autonomy of the most radical of feminists. But that never happened and a guilty rejection of that patriarchal mold began to mature in me, a trait that would show up in every fight for total freedom that I wanted to experience during my life as a university student. One day, one of those that I will never forget, I turned up at a talk at which a famous economist talked about a subject that was new to me. She made calculations, summed up hours, multiplied tasks, and the final result was brutally revealing to me. All my home memories became monetized into soles and dollars, and the price of each wrinkle and each grey hair shot up in the economic and family stock exchange. In other words, all that Chelita had done during her life had a huge economic value that would be impossible to pay? My God! Why had no one told her! Why had no one told me! That day, my tears cleaned the lens through which I saw Doa Chelita.. happily, I was able to tell her in time.

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a PersOnal cHallenGe in THe faMilY

BY: nancY salaZar PseUDOnYM: PaMela

know anyone in any institution, and once again my father would tell me that if I had been a boy I would already be working. Well, I always wanted to prove him wrong. One day I found out about a request at CARE Huaraz for internships, and although the date for presenting my documents had already expired, I decided to persist and apply whatever happens. Luckily, they received my documents and a month later called me for an interview. Happily, I was chosen from among so many people; in fact there were more men than women who had applied. When I mentioned this to my father, he took it as a stroke of luck rather than my preparedness. Later, after starting work, we had an induction at the CARE office in Lima, where we were told about CAREs intervention guidelines and strategies. What caught my attention was the topic of gender equity, something that was then new to me. The project had a gender component and we designed several strategies and tools for our work in the communities. We took home the ideas we fostered there, and initially this was difficult because my father would not accept them. As I learned more and more, my defense improved. But my fathers discomfort also grew, not only because I demonstrated that the ability to learn is equal in both men and women, but also because generating a family income and household chores are the co-responsibility of the couple. It was deeply ingrained in his mind that generating an income was the sole responsibility of the male. Each time we touched the subject of equality and equity we would have an argument, and my sisters and my mother would keep silent and wanted me to do the same. But as my eagerness grew to show them otherwise, I would continue provoking such conversations. After some years, I had a partner who was the complete opposite to my father: he helped me in everything, with no prejudices whatever. At first my father could not believe what was happening. After two years, I had my first child and, because of my work, I had to leave him when he was barely three months old. My partner took on the responsibilities to give the baby his milk, and change and wash his cloth diapers, which hardly anyone used any more.
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My name is Pamela, and I currently live in the city of Huaraz with my children, Mariana and Gonzalo, and with my husband. I come from a family of three sisters. My parents, mainly my father, believed they had had bad luck to have three girls and that we would all end up like Mother (that we had to stay at home with our children without working). That is what my father believed, that the household chores were not a job but the obligation of a woman, and so bringing us up was my mothers responsibility. When I was a child and going to school I was in the fourth grade then I heard my father say to my mother, If my daughter had been a boy she would certainly have a career, but since she is a female at least she will finish high school. Paradoxically, until then I had always been the first in my class. The words became engraved on my mind and I would always ask myself it were true. When I asked my older sister, she corroborated it even more so, saying it must be because all the first places in my class are always boys. Time went by and I finished high school, and then entered university. When I was about to graduate, I thought it would be very difficult to find a job since I didnt

Seeing this, my father understood and finally, after many years, recognized that I was right. My father is now the grandfather of three girls and he wants them all to have careers and get on in life. And he is convinced that women and men have the same gift for learning and doing things.

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a sHareD DesTinY
BY: ariel frisancHO PseUDOnYM: THe aPPrenTice

students would seem to be destined, primarily, to marry well, start a family and be housewives. Many of her school friends opted for that path. She decided to study Medicine and to perform equally or better than the men she studied with. Later, specialization studies took her to live by herself in Lima, after convincing her parents that her personal development required such a choice. Her conviction of her own capabilities would take her later to Huancavelica, as the person responsible for the World Banks health reform program. That eagerness to take on new challenges and show her skills brought her in touch with the building of new initiatives and new social programs, such as JUNTOS and now SAMU. I believe that this life experience, marked by her independence and the conviction of her own inner strength, knowing herself to be as valuable and competent as anyone else, made it possible when the time came for the magic of love to lead her to take on with that same decisiveness the building of a beautiful family. It was a particular challenge, which she took on with tenderness and constancy, to guide me on how we should complement each other, not only in love but in the tasks and roles that we share in our young home. I, who had been brought up in the typical pampering of the sons of a traditional family, had already seen the end of my pampered days when I had to do rural medical service, and when I took my masters degree in a far away and foreign land. But often, the high responsibilities that we take on push aside lifes lessons, or serve as a believable and self-serving excuse to forget what we learned. And this is something else: a walk and discovery between two. It means building what will guide all our achievements. If earlier I had admired her for her decision and skills in her work, it was in the warmth of our home that I recognized her patience to explain to me those things that sometimes we have not learned to see or understand, and that form the basis of an equitable coexistence.
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There she is, once again. With her dynamic and precise gait of an administrator, arguing, joking, haggling with the fruit vender. Displaying before our eyes those of my young son and my own the weekly lesson of popular wisdom, barely interrupted by the sharp and noisy voices of the market. It seems like only yesterday that I met her. I had gone to Cusco, on my first work mission in CARE Peru, to make a presentation on the importance of Citizen Participation in Health. I was pleasantly surprised to meet a lovely young woman who turned out to be no less than the Regional Sub-Director of Health. In such a male-dominated environment as that, feeding on the complexities typical of such public institutions, I could appreciate the personal challenge it meant to take on the responsibility of managing health policies for a whole region. It could not have been easy to confront the prejudices many of them from her own female colleagues against her skills. Many used to say those are jobs for men. Over time, I have been able to understand that from an early age, in the school classrooms, she knew how to rebel against an education in which young women

Today, when life has blessed us with two beautiful babies, it is now my turn to appreciate how she balances her professional life with her family life, how she accompanies me so that we can build our path and enjoy our walk together. And how she makes me feel a little clumsy, because not even with 600 words can I express so much happiness.

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innOVaTiOns fOr aPPlYinG GenDer in cares MaTernal HealTH PrOGraM

BY: elena esQUicHe PseUDOnYM: caPricOrn
In 1997, the coordinator of a new MoH and USAID project (Project 2000) convinced me to join CARE to work in the Libertadores Wari region. The phrase was you can do a lot for women, we are going to work to reduce maternal mortality. It was an afternoon far back in memory, the actions were concluding in what was another of my favorite activities, working with children and young people in Ayacucho. At the time, the maternal mortality rate was one of the highest in the region, 185 per 100,000 live births; there were new projects focusing on improving the management of the health services, infrastructure and availability of human resources in the rural areas of the country. CARE had regional offices and so I travelled to the regions of Huancavelica, Ayacucho, Ica, Andahuaylas and Chincheros. I went to most of the towns for the first time, speaking with the health personnel, with local authorities, the community agents, the traditional midwives, the pregnant women who used thee services, and thus we began to have a full understanding of the complex multi-causal context in which maternal deaths occur in the interior of the country.

Explicative studies were already available then; the interventions to solve the problem were centered on the healthcare services, the training of human resources, the equipment, improving the infrastructure, complicated courses on health service costs, training in ACS and IEC programs for suppliers and the target population. However, there were other programs that required greater attention. In the majority of cases, the women who died represented a very high degree of illiteracy; they had only finished first or third grade; the testimonies of their families said that the women had been unable to decide for themselves to seek help because the husband was out working, or the mother-in-law or midwife were the ones to make decisions over and above the mother who was experiencing the obstetric complications. In other words, the power to decide about her health was not a right that was practiced. This was in the family. And in the community, the perceived value of a pregnant woman in the event of dangers from complications in the pregnancy or childbirth was not important. In most of the fatal cases, the communities did not have a group to help point people to the health facility, and this was even more complicated when the local authority (generally male) did not have a concerted assistance plan with the healthcare facility. These have been labeled as delays in recognizing the danger, in seeking help, in receiving quality care. In the case of the services, the perception of cultural relevance was not a topic on the agenda of the healthcare facility. Women in some areas require being treated by only women and to be spoken to in their own language, and to be allowed to maintain their cultural practices when being cared for at the healthcare facilities. That is the profile of the women who die in Peru. The project contributed significantly to the level of services, but there was still much to do in the communities and working with healthcare personnel on the viewpoint of human rights, gender and issues of multiculturalism.

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CARE continued with a new project FEMME (2000 2005), on which I also worked, to build on the knowledge acquired in the first project. This new project shed some light because it included a component of human rights, and I considered it an opportunity to try out some ideas for intervention where it had not been possible earlier. In 2000, we presented the project to a high health official in the Ayacucho region, who was concerned about the human rights component. In the end, he said the project is good and it will help us, but we need to be careful about the subject of rights, genderwe dont want problems. Trying to explain the project from this perspective to medical staff, that the rights of women were being violated, I shall never forget the official saying in a phrase that is shocking to anyone working on these programs why are we talking so much about maternal death, if they have to die they have to die, if that is the will of God. There was also a great deal of difficulty with local politicians, although the media clearly understood the issue. It was obvious that the path to organizing the healthcare services would soon yield results, but improving the external context of coordination from the community and the district would be a long-term and difficult task that would require flexible and effective strategies with the stakeholders.

We then began building political advocacy, without much experience, with no training, improving each tool as we went along, with the objective of convincing the health staff, the community authorities, the mayors, and the regional presidents that it was necessary to work together, jointly, for the health of the mothers who suffered complications. Bulletins were printed, life histories were recorded on the women in the community, photos were taken to show at the town hall meetings, testimonial videos were produced, different local radio stations were used, with socio-dramas at the fairs and at local government meetings. The regional committee was promoted successfully and the maternal mortality and neonatal reduction program was promoted very successfully. After systematizing the program, this is the contribution that we share with all the other regions and universities in the country incorporating a module of gender and multicultural rights into healthcare policies and we have shared it so far with many countries that come to see the experience as it has been developed. Although we are close to 2015, when the Millennium Development Goals will be assessed, we clearly believe that this focus of Gender and Human Rights will be a powerful tool in the current context and that CARE will continue to contribute to achieving the goal that the poorest women do not have to continue dying unnecessarily.

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ParTiciPanTs TesTiMOnials

THe sTOrY Of lUZ

BY: lUZ esTraDa PseUDOnYM: PaMela

My parents decided to leave their life in the countryside behind and migrate to the city when my older brother finished elementary school. At the time I did not understand why my mother would cry over leaving our town, our community, our house, and only years later did I understand the true depth of this fact. Once we arrived in the city we went to school, and my parents sought work to make a living for us and my six siblings. The rule was We must forget life in the country, now everything is different. This rule was never actually said out loud but everything we did in our lives obeyed it, and it was a part of me until I finished university and began to work. During my years as a university student I forgot how to speak Quechua, my parents no longer practiced the rituals they had in the countryside, and my studies soon led me to forget my life as a child. What was important was to adopt the ways of urban life. In my case, social sciences became very important, reading the social scientists who tell you how the world should work, and later as a professional interacting with a people who were different to those with whom I now lived.

At the social development institution where I worked, I was assigned as the counterpart of a German anthropologist intern, Angela, who came to work in the area on Women. It was truly interesting to get to know her because she was always willing to innovate the work we carried out with the peasant women and was always asking questions about the womens customs, on my views about the work, on my situation as a migrant Quechua speaker, and the strategies that we should use to revalue the work of the women as producers, educators, and recognizing their rights as citizens. The saying goes that we value people when they are no longer with us, and that is what happened to me. I learned to value Angela years later, because she taught me to revalue my culture, to recognize my cultural identity, value the sacrifice that my mother made on leaving her homeland, thinking of a different future for her children, to fight for my ideals and to continue working towards achieving awareness among Andean women of their rights and to become full citizens.

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THese TiMes are VerY DifferenT TO MY MOTHers

BY: BeTZaBeTH neZ PseUDOnYM: anGel
I come from a home in which there are more women, whose strength comes from my mother who has always been a fighter. Ever since I was a very young girl I would watch her doing different jobs to give us the best, to provide us with true quality of life. I always thought that it was my father who had helped us get ahead, but over the years, I understood that she had made an important contribution to all of us. My mother lived at a time when women did not have many opportunities for work. She constantly reminded us that having a university education would put us in a different league. How true her words proved to be because if we hadnt gone to university, today we wouldnt have the same opportunities that are available to the stronger sex. She understood that men and women should have the same opportunities, which is why she made sure that we all had careers. My mother always rebelled against my father, because she felt equal to him in every sense: in strength, in character and even in economic matters. When she was about 45 years old, and with seven children, she sought her economic independence. This was life-changing because, by feeling free and equal to my father, her self-

esteem grew and she felt fulfilled and not marginalized. Her attitudes changed and everything about her showed a notable change. I studied at a co-ed school in which equality was essential, but the differences were there because the girls would sit with the girls and the boys with the boys, and in different rows. Also, during recess, the games were different for each sex: we girls played volleyball, and jacks, while the boys would play ball. But there was something about this that would make me break these molds. When I began to lose my shyness and to feel equal to them intellectually, my preferences changed: I now played marbles and football. Mens games? No! The symmetry also developed in other aspects. One day, my friend Joel was bothering me and I got so angry that I punched him. That insolent and bothersome kid did not see that coming. I was stronger and I beat him. From then on, I earned his respect and he never bothered me again. There were also differences at home. My older brother, who was 15 years younger than me, always enjoyed certain privileges at home. He was the only one to have a room of his own and he got the best parts of meat at lunchtime because he was a male. Nevertheless, that same reason meant he also had to bear the stronger reprimands and punishments from my father. At university, there were few differences between men and women. It was very different from school since the groups were fairly heterogeneous. The only obvious discrimination was towards those who were gay. I never discriminated against them; to the contrary, they became my best friends and buddies during that wonderful period of life. In my first jobs I discovered the many differences that society imposes on us: racial, social, economic and gender differences. It meant that when we were job hunting,

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we would come across demands for men only, from such-and-such university, no older than xx. These limits take away the opportunities to prove who you are and how much you are worth as a human being. I arrived at CARE more than a decade ago. I had absolutely no idea that it was a non-governmental organization. Because of my work I have not had much contact with people of limited resources, but, when you share something about your life with these people you realize that this work is important, that you are contributing to raising their standard of living, and that being able to serve others is gratifying. Ive got to know people who have led me to believe that gender inequality is becoming less and less prevalent, that both men and women are becoming more and more involved in each others tasks. I remember, for example, a male colleague at Foreign Relations who confided that he was in a rush because he was checking on the details and preparations for his wedding. Imagine that! That was once the work exclusively of women, and today men help at home and are aware that household chores must be shared. That never happened in my mothers day. How much they had to put up with! Thank God that there is no weaker sex left in us. CARE led me to meet Chabu with whom I coordinate certain tasks. She is an exceptional woman, a perfectionist, a life warrior. A polio victim when she was very young, she has undertaken tasks equal to those of anyone without disabilities. I learned to understand that disabilities and obstacles are put up by human beings and by society. Differences should not exist between men and women. Times have changed and the inequalities between both sexes are disappearing. These times are very different to those of my mother and I am grateful that I belong to this time in history.

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MY TesTiMOnY: BiDDY: BUilDinG a DreaM BY: OMar Varillas PseUDOnYM: el GrecO

When I met Biddy twenty years ago, I was in the university. What surprised me most about her was her ability to be cheerful and always put a good face on adversity. In fact her carefree approach to life was the first thing that attracted me to her. She did not go to the university; nor could she study theater as she would have liked. She lost her mother at sixteen and, being the eldest of six children, took on the rigors of being mother at an early age. She never complained about it. Our young love and the longing to be together led us to have our first daughter, Alexandra, when we were very young. My studies filled my life and so, Biddy added raising our daughter to the care of her siblings. Though I wanted to work, she encouraged me to finish what I had begun. With my one-year-old girl, I finished the university and shortly afterwards, decided to accept a job offer far away from Lima. The decision was mine to leave and send money while she stayed in Lima with the baby, waiting. We were three years apart, which took a toll on our relationship, which cooled off with time and distance.

It would be a long story to tell how we got back together, but we did it, promising not to separate again. And so it was when, years later, work called on me again to travel. This time we were four, with little Maria Fernanda five months old. So we packed our bags and went to live in the mountains. As my wife says, perhaps we passed the best years of our lives there. In small towns where I was a respected engineer and she, my respected wife. The happiness of being together, having many friends and not being short of money filled our daily life with much love. But Biddy needed something more. Until then, since we met, she felt her entire life was marked by what I decided. She needed her own space. So she didnt hesitate to commit herself to my daughters class in the small school where we lived in Lircay, Huancavelica. She proposed to take the children of that class to Cusco. Charged with the responsibility to organize the children and their parents, who though offering their support, had no money and so, doubted they would be able to have the resources needed to travel. The many activities they did to collect the money took up the time of my wife; though I was helping out, even I doubted it would work out. But she was confident that she would be able to do it, and she did it. In November 2007, a small bus with fourteen children, including my two daughters and a mother undertook the route of Huancavelica, Ayacucho, Andahuaylas, Abancay and, after two days, arrived in Cusco. Tired, exhausted, dirty, but happy, the children ran around the imperial city. She had achieved the dream of the children, and when they returned, the words of the Director of the school summarized what had been achieved: Children from schools in Huancavelica only dream of going to Ayacucho or Huancayo on a class trip. Cusco is distant and alien to us. But Ms. Biddy showed us that our children also have the right to know the center of the world.

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Even to this day, she is remembered fondly by the children and families of Lircay. More so because of her additional activities in the Volunteer Ladies Committee of the local government, promoting health campaigns and donations to schools. Today, the plaque at the citys civic center has her name as a sponsor, along with the Regional President of Huancavelica. Needless to say, when we left Lircay, Biddy had left more memories than her husband, the engineer who brought her there for support. When we returned to Lima, doubts and uncertainty of returning to the big city again assaulted us. In those days, on more than one occasion, I saw Biddy as not so happy, or better said, sad. Like all big cities, Lima takes you away from the moments of sharing with the family: lunches together, midday naps, table talks, etc. All this we had when we were in the provinces, and were losing again in the routine of me at work, the girls at school and my wife at home. Biddy was not satisfied with it and set out to do something else. She again found her place in my oldest daughters school. This time in something that is her passion, support in preparing students for the theater contest. She set out to win the competition and, once again, meeting with parents, chose the house as a place to practice, her clothes as props and called a friend who was a theater teacher for rehearsals. Some days later, The Doctor in spite of himself by Moliere and adapted by Biddy was ready for the public. As she says, I have prepared the kids not only in acting, but also mentally to get the best out of them on stage. It was not just one, but three consecutive years in which Classroom A at Camilo Brent school of San Juan de Lurigancho won the contest. Like any good artist, she didnt earn money. When they gave the prize to my daughters room, my wife was taken by the
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students, parents and teachers to the classroom and, thanked Biddy for having made them into winners in an applause that was endless. But as they say in the theater, when they turn off the lights and go home, you have to face reality. Something was missing and one day, she set out to get it. She felt lonely when we were away, the silence of the house, not knowing what goes on outside their home, watching the world through the girls or what I could tell her. Biddy didnt feel like she had achieved anything. She had to change and so she decided. She didnt ask me when she decided to take part of our savings to start her dream: start her own business. She adapted the house, put rooms aside, bought merchandise and started her little costume shop for children, as they start businesses in Peru, informally. At the beginning, she had few customers. I wanted to comfort her and tell her itll work out, but she wouldnt let me because she interrupted me saying those customers left happy and they will return. The business is now about a year and a half old, and its customer base has grown; she now has counters and has proposed to become a real business. Just a month ago, while I was in an important meeting at work (like all my meetings), she called me on my cell phone and said: - Cholo, sorry, but only one little question: Where is the SUNAT? That night at home, I asked why ask about the SUNAT. Her response filled me with emotion: Look, Cholito, I have a copy of my bill of sale, the business is called Adrianos Kids (for my youngest son Adrian), and I also have my license to operate and today I went to the bank to ask for a loan, because I want to be a part of the world of finance. I dont know if there will be an Adrianos Kids chain in Lima like she wants. I hope so. But I am sure that Biddy has begun her journey towards her personal dream. PS: Sometimes when customers come to the store and I come out, they ask me Are you the owner?

if We WanT TO, We can

BY: HelBa cOTillO PseUDOnYM: MareMar

Neither of my parents was able to fulfill their own career dreams. My mother because, according to my grandfather, she didnt need it, she had sufficient farmland to sustain her he never imagined the agrarian reform and, according to my grandmother, she should fulfill her role of daughter, taking care of her aged parents. When she was 15, my mother repeated fifth grade because she loved studying so much and there was no high school in Aija. Then one day she decided to run away to study in Huaraz, a full days walk away, together with 12 boys who were returning to school after their summer vacations. My grandmother arrived a week later and returned with her to Aija, dragging her by her braids. My father did get to finish high school in Huaraz, thanks to his familys efforts. He dreamed of studying medicine, but was too poor to do so. Both of them decided that their daughters would have careers and the opportunities that they themselves had not had. They both worked, they struggled against the economic crisis, they both cooked, washed, and shared equally in the upbringing of their children and in household chores. Despite the fact that my father was born in 1910 and my mother in 1920, they had progressive ideas for their time. I arrived in Lima at the age of eight, with rosy cheeks and braids. Everything caught my attention and I was made to feel I was from another world. Only at school and thanks to my good grades did I receive recognition and respect. And that reinforced my self-esteem. I finished high school successfully and entered the National Engineering University, where we women were easily lost among the 90% of males. I felt no differentiation, I always felt valued and respected. I was elected the first female president of one of the student centers. I had competed against an older and charismatic student leader. After a year of work, two other student centers were led by women.

In the 1990s, when Sandra Laumark came to CARE Peru as Director, they began to talk of of Gender, the need to open up more opportunities to women in new positions, and in the management and decision-making positions. I was invited to join the management team to complete the numerical gender balance, although I didnt understand the issue. I retraced my life and could find no situations of gender discrimination since I had grown up convinced that I was capable of achieving whatever I wanted. I was born in Aija, a rural province in Ancash. My sisters went away to high school, as all boys and girls did whose families sought progress. I had visited Lima as a small child and I had fallen in love with the city. I excelled from nursery school to first grade, and my parents decided that I should leave in search of a better future. My father said I could choose between Huaraz and Lima and, at the age of eight, I opted for the city that captivated me with its lights and sounds of car horns.something that did not exist in Aija.

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My experience as an achiever, in surmounting economic difficulties together with my parents, my stubbornness in achieving my dreams, led me to think that everything depended on us women, that a gender policy was unnecessary. However, I soon understood that I was mistaken. Being invited at such a young age to complete the gender quota on the Management Team allowed me to learn firsthand the dimension of power, the subtle discrimination of male and female colleagues, and I had to look for reading material to understand the dynamics of gender between male and female executives and learn how to cope with something that was new to me. Listening, reading and talking on the issue allowed me to understand it and to confront it.

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iT HaD TO Be a WOMan!
BY: HcTOr len PseUDOnYM: HeralDO

1990, La Perla del Huallaga, in the Amazonian region of eastern Peru...I was invited to work at a private clinic in this beautiful city. Waiting for me in the airport were the doctor, who was a countryman of mine, and his wife, a beautiful woman from Loreto, and beside her a young lady, also from Loreto, who was a little shy, thin and sad-eyed, whom later they would tell me was the receptionist at the hospital where I would be working. They were all there to welcome me... The days passed, and the beautiful friendship with Rosario, against all odds, was gradually turning into something more...Why are you going out with her? She is not your type, etc. etc., and a few days later, she was fired from work because of me. I think this contributed to my becoming closer to her; as did the fact that we had both lost the most important person in our lives, our mothers, and what followed was...a lovely baby was born, we were married and after a couple of years, we separated because of me. I was unfaithful, the same phrases that brought me together with her, this time separated me and instead of apologizing, I asked for a separation. I remember as if it were yesterday that, while crying, she told me, its okay, just fulfill your dreams, showing me once again that, even in the worst moments, she never lost her dignity.

She had finished high school and came from a family that was poor but immensely united, while the other with whom I cheated on her, was from out of town, a professional, and apparently from a good family ... what morons are we from the stronger sex sometimes, and we let true happiness escape in the worst way ... she, as always, brave, good and decided on not becoming discouraged, studied a technical career in health, was one of the best in her class and is currently working in a nursing home, noble and sacrificial work, right? She was recently chosen as the best worker of the year, an honor for her, for our daughter, for her family ... and for me??? ... Our daughter, pretty and super loving, strong willed, will turn 20 years old in April, how time flies!, Life brings you tests every day, we pay for the bad things we do, I think, right here. I am among those who believe that hell is here on earth, we build it ourselves. Today we are good friends; how wonderful it would have been to end this saying: TODAY WE ARE A BIG FAMILY ...

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anneX
cOMPeTiTiOn rUles
I Nationwide Internal Competition For International Womens Day 8 March 2012 - Your Testimonial Makes A Difference International Womens Day was established in order to make visible the unacceptable and often dangerous working conditions that so many women faced in the world. Although the occasion was only commemorated in a group of countries, it resulted in more than a million women in the streets, where they not only demanded better working conditions, but also the right to vote, to hold public office and to enjoy equal conditions with men. To commemorate this date, the Gender Equality Program of CARE Peru organized the First National Competition Your testimonial makes a difference, which aims to know and to share testimonials from life that express the transformation of every woman and every man who work in CARE Peru living the daily challenge of understanding and achieving gender equality Objectives To promote a space for reflection on gender equality and to bring to light the testimonials from life, while also recognizing and valuing the daily task of the working women of CARE Peru. Rules Who can participate: Employees from CARE Peru nationwide. Women employees will write their testimonials based on factual evidence from their own lives.

Men employees of CARE Peru will write their testimonials based on their perception of the women in their surroundings.

Specific aspects Of the testimonial: Testimonials from life are written accounts of the life experiences of the participants with respect to gender equality or inequality in their working and personal lives. The testimonial is individual and narrated in the first person. Motivational subjects for the testimonial: Compatibility between working and personal lives; Challenges in personal and professional development as a woman Experience of leadership; Life without violence; Other topics suggested by participants.

Size and characteristics: A maximum of two 300-word pages (or a total of 600 words), size A4 Arial 11 font; single spaced Each participant may submit up to two testimonials Each testimonial must have a title Pseudonyms will be used. Criteria The rating will take into account the following criteria: Creativity Clarity of writing Ability to narrate clearly, and Sensitivity to gender. Rules Rulesasd Rules
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Time period Testimonials will be accepted from February 8, 2012 until Monday, February 27, 2012 at 11:00 p.m., with no exceptions. Where to send The testimonials should be sent via email to the following address: concursotestimonioCARE1@gmail.com The subject line should contain: Testimonial - Pseudonym of the author On the jury panel The jury will consist of three persons with experience in gender issues as well as in editing and writing, and in participation in literary competitions. The jury has 7 days to rate the testimonials. The results will be published on March 5. On the prizes The authors of the works chosen as winners will receive the following prizes: First prize: A Netbook Second prize: A camera Third prize: A book and a dinner for two Five honorable mentions Award Ceremony: Will be conducted in CARE Lima on March 8, 2012

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