Every once in a while I like to take a break from talking about money and instea d talk about things

I have learned from my own life.Recently my mentally handic ap moved in with me .Its been great I truly love having her here with me but I h ad no idea I how hard it would .I am also disabled albeit physically not mentall y and juggling the two sometimes took a lot of will power,patience, and luck.I h ave been in the emergency room,had to the cops,and had started going to therapy. On the other hand I have weekly library trips,joined a disabled bowling league a nd discovered how therapeutic arts and crafts can really.Needless to say I would n't trade these last few months with her for the world.Over time I realized tha t the only way I am going to be able to take care of properly is learning from o thers who have been there and doing some research .Here is a list a few things I have learned at the beginning of my online and library research . I hope this h elps other people who might be in similar situations!

1 Speak to the mental age of the person and not his physical age. Most Mentally ha ndicap people have physical age which is the age they are chronically and the ag e they are mentally.For example my sister 30 years but mentally she fluctuates b etween 8-15 years old. So when I am talking to her I make I talk to her the sam e I would an 8 year old or a teenager.This makes it complicated because that som etimes she is like my child and other times she was like my little sister.

2 Enunciate your words. Do not slur them together as this can lead to listener f rustration and fatigue.

3 .Speak in a low voice. To raise your voice indicates anger to many mentally ch allenged adults and can cause frustration on both sides.( this was new to me and explained alot)

4 .Accept that sexual urges do exist in those with limited mental capacities. A firm hand and a basic explanation as to why such actions are not acceptable can often defuse a potential problem.

5 Be calm and relaxed with your body language. Nervousness, pity or fear are eas y to detect.

6 .Smile with both your mouth and your eyes.- I have no idea how to smile with m y eyes but I will see how that works

7 Accept the attention span of mentally handicapped adults is often very brief. Do not be insulted if a mentally challenged person walks away suddenly or blurts out that she's bored. My sister wonders off in the middle of conversation as if its the most normal thing I used to think she is doing it just to bug me now I know she is just done talking

8 Praise people for a job well done and offer gentle encouragement when needed. Never let a sense of failure overwhelm anyone.

9 Encourage new challenges. If a mentally handicapped adult has conquered a task , encourage him to start a new one. When my sister gets bored I try to event "mi ssions" small tasks that require focus and steps to get through .It can be as si mple as draw me pictures of barn animals to as hard as making your bed and chang ing sheets or laundry.Anything that when its done you can say "mission completed " and she feels a sense of satisfaction and pride.

10 Appreciate limits. Everyone has a place where they plateau. Find a new activ ity or topic of conversation when a mentally challenged adult needs a change.

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