You Can Play

Tennis!
A Parent’s Guide to Experiential
Learning:
Tennis and the Game of Life

By James T. McGarry, USPTA

 Contents

Introduction

Chapter I: Tennis is a Lifestyle for Life!

• Why Tennis Can Change Your Child’s Life
• What is the Easiest and Most Effective Way to Experience
Tennis?
• Re-creation: A Different Take on a Familiar Word

Chapter 2: Tennis is F-U-N! Introduce the Game to Your Child

• Be FACILITATIVE: make tennis easy for your child with
fun games!
• Make it USER-FRIENDLY: from couch potato to tennis
player in no time!
• Make it NATURAL: there’s no one “right” way to swing the
racket

Chapter 3: Sportsmanship
• Sportsmanship and Childhood Memories
• A Winning Attitude
• Etiquette and the Socialization Process
• Role Models

Chapter 4: Cooperation and Competition

• Cooperative versus Competitive Games
• Cooperative Games
• Competitive Games

Chapter 5: The Game of Life

• The 3 P’s: Preparation, Poise and Persistence
• The Experiential Dynamic

Conclusion
Acknowledgements
Introduction

I love baseball. I always have. I played it fanatically for 7 years during

my youth. But, I wasn’t good enough to play high school ball. One

day, my father came out to watch me play, and once again noticed I

was warming the bench. He said, “Jimmy, you need to find a sport you

can play for the rest of your life. I played handball as a kid. Why don’t

you try tennis.” So, my sister and I bought two Wilson T-2000’s during

the first tennis boom in the mid-1970’s, and the rest, as they say, is

history. I was hooked! Neither of us had any formal instruction, but

realized just how much fun the game is. Just hitting it back and forth,

chasing after that fuzzy yellow ball in a rectangle for hours on end,

whatever the weather was incredibly fun! What a truly amazing game

and activity tennis is. I’ve met so many great people because of the

game. I played throughout high school and college, stopped play for a

few years, then returned to it again, this time as a professional teacher

and coach of the game after a career change. It has brought me so

much joy, and I hope I’ve amply expressed that joy to the thousands of

students that I’ve worked with worldwide over the last 20 years. I hope
you’ll find a nugget or two of wisdom in this book that will be the

catalyst to show your child just how wonderful this game is, now and at

every station in their life.

Chapter 1: Tennis is a Lifestyle for Life

Tennis is a really simple game to play as a fun activity you can share

with your child. That’s right! There are coaches who will tell you that

tennis is a very difficult game, that it will take years to learn, and that

you and your child will need to take hours and hours of lessons to

improve. That may be true if you have some seriously lofty goals, but

if your interest is to learn and play tennis for fun, as a social outlet, and

as a great way to spend an hour or two of family leisure, then this book

is for you. If you’re looking for tennis to provide a college scholarship

for your child, there are a number of books and coaches that can help

you. The premise of this book is to show you that tennis is something
you can learn and play simply and easily, then teach to your child, and

have fun during the process. We’ll provide you with the tools you’ll

need to make it fun and easy to experience. You’ll then be able to

provide your child with a healthy, safe, fun lifestyle for the rest of their

lives. Remember, you are the most important role model for your

child. Providing them with the gift of tennis will be something that you

and your child will never forget!

Why Tennis Can Change Your Child’s Life

Life has become very complicated for children today. Technology is

truly a double-edged sword. Don’t get me wrong. Technology is a

fantastic and incredible tool. But, it has a sinister side to it. We all

know about the dangers of the Internet, but what about those dangers

you really don’t see until the habit is ingrained. Child obesity is well on

its way to becoming an epidemic in the United States. Why? Because

physical education has been virtually eliminated from the school

curriculum. Texting is trumping tennis! Further, kids that spend an

inordinate amount of time online find themselves to be socially

challenged as they reach their teens. In today’s environment,

wellness and social skills are paramount for success in whatever

academic pursuit and career they choose. Tennis offers a lifestyle that

exposes them to fun, fitness, socialization, cooperation, and if they

choose, competition. If they get the “tennis bug”, they’ll find a very
large circle of friends who will share their passion, providing them with

a second family! There are few, if any sports that can lay claim to this,

as tennis is a great social game that can be played well beyond an

adult’s “prime” years. Many players in their 80’s and beyond enjoy the

game every day!

The Easiest and Most Effective Way to Experience Tennis

Les Giblin, a human relations expert, presents a compelling argument

for experiential

learning. Here’s what his classical research has determined:

We retain:

10% of what we read

20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we say as we talk
90% of what we say as we do a thing

EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING!

There’s an old Chinese proverb that validates these statistics:

I hear and I forget

I see and I remember
I do and I understand

Relying mainly on verbal instruction is an ineffective way to coach or

teach a child tennis. Yet, verbal praise and encouragement is an

important way to motivate and encourage, when used properly and

sparingly. It wasn’t until I coached deaf students, as well as Autistic

students, that I realized that experiential learning is the most effective

way to present tennis to them. This holds true of children without any

physical challenges as well. In the upcoming chapter, we’ll be

highlighting exercises and games to facilitate experiential learning.

Re-Creation: A Different Take on a Familiar Word

Webster’s Dictionary defines recreation as “ refreshment and

relaxation of one’s body or

mind after work.” Our definition for re-creation is to begin anew

again with no limitations. It’s about rediscovery of fun, connecting with

your family members, and enjoying the process. Each time you go out

to play, you’re re-creating that great experience you had the week

before. And you’re building a foundation from that experience as you

and your child improve. When you don’t set any limitations, and you

allow mistakes to occur without verbal correction, you’re allowing your

child to experiment. It’s so important for a child not to be limited.

When the mistake is repeated, then a correction can be made, but self-

discovery, which leads to growth, is going to provide your child with a

healthy self-esteem, an essential life skill.

Chapter 2: Tennis is F-U-N!

Introduce the Game to Your Child

Fundamentals are the ABC’s of tennis. In order to become a

facilitator, you, the parent, need to understand the ABC’s, then present

them experientially to your child. They don’t want to hear a lecture

on tennis ABC’s—they want to have fun with you! My experiences

have shown me that in general, boys lose interest when they have to

listen for long periods, and if girls haven’t been exposed to hand-eye

sports like tennis, they may be more self-conscious about their initial

limitations. It is your role to be the facilitator, not the teacher. The

word facilitate is from the French word, facile, to make easy. So, let’s

make tennis easy, and show you some really simple exercises that will

be fun for both you and your child. Tennis is F-U-N! F represents your

role to keep it easy, or Facilitate. U represents enjoying the process

of the exercises because it’s about Us! Finally, N represents the most

important aspect of experiencing tennis, keeping it Natural! Following

is a series of 5 simple but effective exercises you and your child can

experience together, for just 15-30 minutes, 3 times per week, for 4

weeks. After the 4th week, move on to Exercise 2, until you’ve

completed all 5 Exercises. Be sure to designate a day and time to play.

These Exercises are specifically designed to create a “building block”

effect, which will quickly provide you and your child with skills to allow
you play tennis together. Remember, you must be familiar with the

Exercises before you take your child out, so review them, and if you

have any questions, feel free to mail me at fitstocks@gmail.com

EXERCISE 1: Sponge Ball/Tennis Ball Toss and Catch

EQUIPMENT NEEDED: Sponge or tennis ball

SPACE: Your driveway, or a flat, hard 15 by15 space, or tennis half-
court no net
PURPOSE: Develop hand-eye coordination, visualization, and comfort
with throwing and catching motions. Remember, mistakes are OK!
You’re not teaching, just facilitating.
DURATION: 15-30 Minutes, 3 times per week, for 4 weeks
EXPERIENCE: 1. Child holds ball, then self- tosses underhand in air.
1 hand toss,
2 hand catch
2. Child, parent face each other 5’ apart. Toss &
catch out of the air. Parent shows proper toss and
catch technique to child.
3. Child, parent face each other 5’ apart. Toss,
bounce & catch.
4. Child, parent face each other 5’ apart. Parent
moves child slightly left and right to experience
moving and catching.
5. Both parent and child shuffle, tossing ball to
where they will be.

EXERCISE 2: Introduce Racket and Ball

EQUIPMENT NEEDED: Junior racket and sponge/tennis balls

SPACE: same as exercise 1—tennis half-court, no net
PURPOSE: provide child with basics on racket. Show grip, throat, and
racket head
DURATION: 15-30 minutes, 3 times per week, for 4 weeks
EXPERIENCE: 1. Child tosses ball, ball bounces, parent bumps ball
back to child,
child catches. Mistakes are ok, gently correct
until habit forms
2. Parent tosses ball, ball bounces, child bumps ball
back to parent,
parent catches. Mistakes are ok, gently correct
until habit forms.
3. Emphasize cooperation, and an outcome. “Let’s
get a total of 5
catches.”

EXERCISE 3: Introduce Mini-Rally

EQUPMENT NEEDED: Junior and Adult Racket/sponge or tennis balls
SPACE: same as exercise 2 –tennis half-court, no net
PURPOSE: experience a mini-rally (hitting back and forth) with your
child
DURATION: 15-30 minutes, 3 times per week, for 4 weeks
1. Rally together, keeping ball between them-one or
two bounces.
2. Parent introduces FH and BH, strings slightly to
sky—grip not important at this stage--PICTURE
3. Experience a 10 ball rally

EXERCISE 4: Introduce the Volley

EQUIPMENT NEEDED: sponge/tennis balls, rackets
SPACE: same as exercise 3-tennis half-court no net
PURPOSE: provide child with catching skills, essential for good
volleying
DURATION: 15-30 minutes, 3 times per week, 4 weeks
1. Toss and catch sponge ball with two hands, 10
times each
2. Catch sponge ball with one hand
3. Sponge ball/racket: toss ball to string, bump ball
to parent/child
4. Volley rally: softly bump ball back and forth to
achieve volley rally

EXERCISE 5: Introduce the Serve

EQUIPMENT NEEDED: rackets, 20-30 sponge or tennis balls
SPACE: full tennis court
PURPOSE: develop throwing motion for the serve
DURATION: 15-30 minutes, 3 times per week, 4 weeks
1. Begin by gently throwing ball using the overhand
technique, aiming towards the net.
2. Ensure “soft fingertip” grip, so there’s fluidity, and
no tension.
3. Address technique: “Eiffel Tower” stance for good
base,
 “Pedal to the Metal” to generate lower body
movement (sideways), “Be a duck, stay a duck”,
slightly flex knees, head fully upright, “Akuna
Matata” loose arms to allow whole body to
release, and finally “Park the Car in the Garage”,
throwing hand (right, for example) is Car, Garage
is the left shoulder (finish) for natural rotation.
Paint the picture for your child!
4. Now, “throw” racket at ball. (literally or
figuratively) Don’t worry where ball (or racket)
ends up 10x
5. Now, begin to aim over the net. 10x
6. Now, attempt to hit ball into correct box. 10x. It
doesn’t matter if
it goes in! Comfort and a relaxed throwing
motion are more important than the result!
Chapter 3: Sportsmanship

Sportsmanship, and Childhood Memories

  

A classical definition of Sportsmanship is “ a fair, honest rivalry,

courteous relations, and graceful acceptance of results.” Tennis is

now one of the most popular sports in the world, making a comeback

that hasn’t been seen since the mid-1970’s. During this time, I

enjoyed playing and competing against my rivals in high school and

college. We had epic matches, though I didn’t always enjoy the

outcome! I learned to appreciate the rivalries, and the many defeats,

as they taught me self-control, humility, persistence, and courage

under pressure.

As for courteous relations, it’s imperative that your child learns to treat

you and others with respect on the court, and off the court. That holds

true with his or her future “rivals”, on and off the court. The most

difficult aspect of sportsmanship for kids that are competitive (which

most are, whether they admit it or not!) may just be the “graceful

acceptance of results.” If you’ve been to a junior tennis tournament,

or an adult league match, you may be a bit surprised to find that grace

has at times vacated the premises! Gamesmanship, defined as the

“distraction of an opponent, without violating the rules of the game”,

has in some respects become de rigeur. Why is this kind of behavior

counter-productive? Simply, because it teaches your child that there is

a shortcut to winning. The result takes precedent over the process. I

liken it to cheating on a test; you may get that A, but you didn’t earn it

honestly. The process is necessary for the result, win or lose. There

are no shortcuts! Tennis teaches you and your child patience and

persistence, eventually providing them with great physical and mental

preparation for the rest of their lives, no matter what they decide to be

and do.

My Dad was my hero as a kid, and he still is. He was a great athlete,

drafted by the Yankees farm organization before he volunteered as a

Bombardier in WW II. I remember his many examples, and our

experiences together, which I appreciate now more than ever. Once,

he saw me struggling and losing badly as a little league pitcher at a

game he attended--I looked up at him in the stands, and saw him

pointing at his temples. “Think, and relax”, he was telling me. It

worked. I began to relax, and eventually settled down. We still lost,

but I felt good about the last few innings. My Dad didn’t wince, walk

away, or scream at me. He told me after the game how proud he was

that I hung in there, despite our team being utterly thrashed. That

really made an impact on me as a person, and later as a coach.

Once my father determined that I was serious about tennis, he

purchased “The Inner Game of Tennis”, by Timothy Galway, a book

about tennis and self-awareness. I’ve read scores of books on tennis,

but this is still my all-time favorite. I recommend you read this book,

then when your child reaches his or her teens, give them a copy with

your thoughts. My Dad’s note in the book reads “Jimmy, learn from

losing. Be proud but considerate when winning. May you win all the

“big ones’ in your life, and learn from all the “little ones.” Thanks for

teaching me the true meaning of sportsmanship Dad.

A Winning Attitude

Attitude is defined as “the present state of mind of the person.” We

become what we think about, and our attitude is the catalyst. If there

is one word that comes to mind when I think of the great past and

present players of all time, it’s their on and off-court attitude. Bjorn

Borg, one of the greatest players of all time, exhibited an incredibly

quiet and calm attitude during his matches. He rarely if ever

questioned bad calls. He focused on the point at hand. Opponents

never rattled him. He didn’t allow distractions to enter into his mind.

But, it wasn’t always that way. He was, at a very early age, given a

choice: control your temper, or forget playing tennis. He spent hours

contemplating his tennis fate, and chose to control his emotions and

continue playing. His attitude during incredible pressure-packed

matches at Wimbledon and the French Open garnered him a combined

11 titles at these two Grand Slams. He won Wimbledon 5 years in a

row, matched only by the incomparable Roger Federer. From that

decision to control his temper, his attitude provided him with the

mental toughness that made him one of the most outstanding

professional players in the history of the game. Borg treated his wins

and losses the same. He learned from losing, but was humble in

victory. His victories and defeats didn’t define his attitude. It was

Borg’s attitude that defined his victories and defeats.

Etiquette and the Socialization Process

Don’t count on the school system to teach your child etiquette. I

currently work part time in both public and private school

environments, and I can tell you based on my experience that there is

no time slated in the academic calendar for etiquette. Mom and Dad,

Grandma and Grandpa need to make that a priority at home and in

appropriate settings. Good manners and proper etiquette never go out

of style.

One of the more popular classes now taught at many prestigious

business schools feature social and business etiquette for graduating

MBA’s, as many of these highly educated students have difficulty in

these post-school settings. Tennis is a terrific way to introduce your

child to proper etiquette in a social setting that they’ll be a part of for a

great majority of their adult lives.

Chapter 4: Cooperation and Competition

Over the many years of working with youngsters and adults, I find that

introducing the idea of cooperating with each other to get better is a

great way to take the pressure off, and enjoy learning a particular skill

with a fellow student. This provides your child with the opportunity to

be student and facilitator, either with you or with another youngster.

Next, we will introduce you to Competitive games that will provide your

youngster with a chance to see how they do under a little bit of

pressure.

Here are 5 Cooperative games and 5 Competitive games that build

from the F-U-N exercises you’re experiencing with your child. Again,

the games are designed to have a building block effect, so be sure not

to move on to the next game until you’ve accomplished the previous

game.

COOPERATIVE GAME 1: “10”

Space: Half-court-no net. See diagram.

Purpose: work together to rally a
total of 10 balls together, forehands
or backhands.

COOPERATIVE GAME 2: “10”

Space: Mini-tennis area-service line

to service line, with net. See diagrams
Game: play within the two service boxes
keeping the rally going until you reach 10.
Purpose: learn consistency & control

COOPERATIVE GAME 3:
NATURAL TARGET
Space: Mini-tennis area-service line to
service line.
Game: each player tries to hit each
other’s service line.
Purpose: to learn how to control the
racket so that you can land the ball
close to a specific target.

COOPERATIVE GAME 4: (PICTURE)

2 BOUNCE RALLY
Space: Full Tennis Court
Game: Facilitator and student try to hit
ball in each other’s service box, then hit
ball back to other side on second bounce.
Rally to 10.
Purpose: gives players time to learn to
move and prepare to hit ball back

COOPERATIVE GAME 5: (PICTURE)

Space: Full Tennis Court
Game: Facilitator and student try to hit
ball beyond each other’s service line, then hit
ball back in first bounce. Rally to 10.
Purpose: learn to work together to help each
other achieve goal. Consistency will prepare
your youngster for competition.
COMPETITIVE GAMES
These games are designed to simulate
point play. For rules and scoring, see
www.usta.com for an in-depth look.

COMPETITIVE GAME 1:
1 BALL GAME
Space: Full Tennis Court
Game: Facilitator and Student begin on baseline and
play with only one ball. Player that hits ball into net
runs for ball, heads back to baseline, and starts next
point with a groundstroke. Point doesn’t count unless
4 balls are rallied first, including first ball.
Purpose: provides exercise for both players,
Reinforces clearing the net.

COMPETITIVE GAME 2:
KING/QUEEN OF COURT
Space: Full Tennis Court
Game: Facilitator and Student begin on baseline.
The designated King or Queen switch sides with their
Challenger when the Challenger wins two points in a
row. Switch sides and roles.
Purpose: develops patience as well as momentum.

COMPEITIVE GAME 3:
TUG OF WAR
Space: Full Tennis Court
Game: Each player starts at 5. Facilitator tries to get to
0, Student tries to get to 10. For each point won, they move
up or down the scale. If Facilitator wins 4 points in a row,
they have 9, but if Student wins next point, they move down
to 8.
Purpose: teaches players persistence and handling pressure.

COMPETITVE GAME 4:
SERVE AND RETURN PLAY
Space: Full Tennis Court
Game: Both the Facilitator and Student serve and return. The
point doesn’t count unless both the serve and return are in the
proper part of the court. The point counts upon hitting the
third shot. Play first to 10 as server and returner, then switch
roles.
Purpose: develops consistency and practice for the 2 shots that
begin the point in match play. It’s OK to make mistakes!
COMPETIVE GAME 5:
MATCH TIME!
Space: Full Tennis Court
Game: Both F and S play a set of tennis,
with regular tennis scoring. (See introduction)
Purpose: Teaches F and S about the scoring
system, prepares S for match play!
Chapter 5: The Game of Life
The 3 P’s-A 3 Legged Stool

If you’ve gone through this book diligently, and in the order that we

suggested, we congratulate you! If you didn’t, you’re human! Go back

and review the exercises and games, and fill in those blanks. Like life,

tennis is built on a strong foundation. However, you fill in the blanks

left deliberately by your author! That’s the beauty…it’s your canvas,

not mine! But, you’ve got to keep it simple. Don’t instruct,

EXPERIENCE! Don’t criticize or critique, COMPLEMENT!

The 3 P’s, PREPARATION, POISE, AND PERSEVERANCE provide a

framework for your youngster in tennis as well as in their lives-it is our

that hope you’ve already seen these principles exhibited as you’ve

progressed through the exercises and games.

PREPARATION

The first leg of the stool. John Wooden, considered one of the all-time

great coaches in history, coached the UCLA Bruins basketball team to

10 championships in a row. One of his favorite quotes is a gem:

“Everyone has the will to win; few have the will to prepare.”

Preparation is really everything, in every endeavor. Preparation is not

just practice, it’s practicing with excellence in mind. It’s practice until

you get it right without having to think about the process. This is why

we asked you to not skip over the exercises, as they are designed to

prepare you for the next set of exercises.

POISE

The second leg of the stool. Ernest Hemingway defined courage as

“grace under pressure.” Your youngster has already dealt with

pressure academically, at home, and perhaps even peer pressure. It

takes time to handle pressure! Nerves are a part of life, and are

important in heightening all the senses. Poise allows your youngster to

maintain composure during times of pressure. Poise is best learned by

playing lots of cooperative and competitive games, then playing

competitive matches. Remember, it’s a process to learn this very

important attribute—it will not be a quickly learned skill. Review

chapter 3 to reinforce this skill. It’s one that will take them through life

with less stress, and more enjoyment, if they can pursue the essence

of poise. Remember, you need to experience it with them. Watch any

major sporting event, and you’ll see poise exhibited time and time

again.

PERSEVERANCE

This is the third leg of the stool. The stool collapses without any of the
three firmly in place. I believe that PERSEVERANCE may be the most

important trait your child will ever learn from you. He or she may

never be a great player, but if you see to it that they complete the

exercises and games, whether you are “successful” or not, you will

have shown your child that when you start something, you need to

finish it, and finish it strong! Period. That’s a gift that will keep on

giving throughout the course of their life.

The Experiential Dynamic

What’s the most important concept that we want you to get out of this

book? That’s easy. We want you to create lifelong memories by

experiencing this game with those you care about most: your family!

Tennis is special, since the whole family can play, share in the fun and

challenges, get a great workout, and appreciate each other. There

truly aren’t many healthy activities that provide all of this. Keep it fun,

and enjoy the process!

Remember, the less you teach and preach, and the more you let your

child experience and enjoy, the better the chance that they will stay

with the game well past their academic career. It’s up to you; we know

it’s hard not to instruct—we’re teachers! But, there is a better way,

and it’s through making mistakes, and figuring it out with a gentle

nudge. I also want you to know that if you feel your child shows

exceptional talent, there are lots of resources out there. Contact me at

fitstocks@gmail, and I’ll be happy to help you with some of those

resources.
 Conclusion
We want to thank you for reading this book. I am both very much
appreciative and

grateful for the gifts that tennis has provided us over the years, and it

is our hope that we can continue to give back, so that the wonderful

legacy that tennis is can continue. It is not just up to the coaches and

teachers to provide your child with the gift of tennis, anymore than it is

their responsibility to teach your child proper etiquette. By getting

involved a few minutes a week—a few minutes a week—you can make

an indelible mark on your child. Becoming a well-rounded individual is,

and always will be, what most employers are looking for. Tennis

teaches naturally those skills that will prepare your child for a really

wonderful experience, both on and off the court. I wish you continued

enjoyment with the game that never stops giving!

Jim

James T. McGarry

Tennis Professional

fitstocks@gmail.com
 Acknowledgements
I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge some very important people
in my life who taught

me the 3 P’s of life. First, my father and mother, who supported me in

whatever endeavor I

chose. Thanks, Mom and Dad. I miss you both very much. Next, my

brother and sister, who provided me with guidance and assistance as

the roller coaster of life took some strange turns. Thanks Sharon and

Brian. Finally, two coaches who had a profound effect on my life: Mr.

Bob Hardage, legendary football coach of the Annandale High Atoms,

Annandale, Virginia. We played tennis for two years for fun and

exercise, and his presence as well as his advice influence with me to

this day. Thanks, Coach! I’d also like to acknowledge the mentorship

and friendship from a coach that not only raised my own game, but

showed me how to teach and coach, and really enjoy the process. Bill
Belser is a world-class circuit coach, and I owe a lot to his patience and

perseverance with me! Thanks Bill!

Jim

James T. McGarry