There was a time in Nigeria when neighbours punished neighbours children.

For this the neighbours (owners of the children) were thankful. The unwritten pledge was: if you catch my child committing an infraction, beat him for me. I would appreciate it if you do. You dont even need to report to me before you punish him, doing so will be an insult. Hes your son too, beat him! Nigerians call that era the Golden Era a time when neighbours were protectors and children knew their places because the cane was administered to the children who deserved them. However, was this really a golden era? Were the children of those days better behaved than the children of today? If they were well behaved as children, did the effect endure? That is, are they morally upright as adults? Theres no evidence that suggests beating children when they do wrong is associated with better behaviour nor is there any evidence that suggests children who were so punished grow up to be better individuals. Actually, the opposite maybe the case: those children would turn out to be bad people -according to some studies in psychology. Beating children also does not have religious basis. In fact, beating children may earn you the wrath of God. These are bold claims but build on a foundation of granite. Jesus (may peace be upon him) didnt have any children to beat; thus, cant draw from his example. But Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) did, however, he didnt beat them. This is well known to Muslims, because the life of the prophet was an open book. He only showed love and kindness to his own children, grandchildren and the children of his companions. Also, its not because the children of those days were less troublesome than our children: children were children then as they are now. In fact even in worship, the prophet accommodated the weaknesses of children. One example was when he shortened his prayers and his companions asked why. He said he did so because he heard a baby crying; thus he finished the prayers earlier than usual so that the mother could attend to the baby. He also lengthened the prayers because of children. His grandchildren mounted him and were playing on his back when he was in the state of prostration forehead on the floor. He remained in that position until the time the children were done playing. Thats why children were comfortable in his presence; his companions said whenever we looked at his face, he was smiling. But he was extra cheerful when he was with children. Anas, his adopted son, said he never scolded him, let alone beat him. Yet youll find among the strongest advocates of the cane are Muslims who call beating children tarbiyah. Some of them even try to impute such culture to Islam; this is because a Muslim especially from Arewa, will not admit that he derives some of his principles - especially in the area of child upbringing from cultures and traditions other than Islam because he already professes that its Islam that governs his life. I once made a mistake of telling my friends that I didnt believe in beating children. It was at the mosque, after prayers. I almost regretted opening my mouth almost immediately for all of them turned toward me and vehemently objected. They didnt only disagree but also tried to change my mind. However, none of them gave me scientific reasons (some of them are PhDs) why I should agree with them. They didnt also cite a verse from the Quran or a narration from the Hadith. They were only able to tell me hackneyed specious nonsense like the cane is the only language children understand. However, if we think about it, we will soon realize that one of the bad effects of beating children is loss of confidence as we said last week. A child that has no confidence cant do anything independently as hed wait for others to do the thinking for him. Even his religion will be affected because hed depend on others interpretation of the religion no matter how flawed. Also those who received the cane from their families and the communities are our leaders today

and theyre not good people. Theyre not well behaved. Theyre pilferers without mercy. They have no empathy for the poor and their immorality is at par with that of the worst in the world. I dont think Satan even bothers about them any longer, for they themselves are little Satans: chief spirits of evil, adversaries of God, tempters of mankind and masters of Hell. However, we can simply replace the cane with a simple technique questioning. A question is a powerful thing. It is through questions that thoughts are sharpened, ideas generated and products fashioned. Even in basic writing were told to ask why, when, who, what and how to generate content for our essays. When writing this column, I asked a few questions myself: what is the belief of our people about beating children? Whats the effect on individuals and society? What does the religion say? What does science say? Can it be replaced? So how do you ask a question when a child is not doing what is expected of him and improve his thinking skills at the same time? How did the prophet do it? Anas narrated that when he was living in the house of Prophet Muhammad and was asked to run an errand he abandoned it and started playing - as children naturally do. When the prophet saw him he asked: have you been to where we sent you? Note that he didnt ask why didnt you go to where we sent you? This kind of question will back the child into a corner and he may be pressured to lie in order to get out because youve already formed a judgment, you assumed he didnt do what you asked him therefore he has no room to wriggle out. But have you been to where we sent you? offers a lot of thinking possibilities such as, if Ive not done it, its not too late to do it; Also, the question shows that Im allowed to play provided I finish the task; hence, next time, Ill do the work before I play. Further, you can simply teach them. The prophet once said to a child O young person, I want to teach you some words. In conclusion, beating children is a bad thing to do with egregious consequences. However, my conviction is the kind that allows some doubts; therefore, if you believe that there are positive effects of beating children grounded in science or Islam or Christianity, please email me and I may even lend you the column for one week.