Professional Documents
Culture Documents
james aire
to here knows when
voices
turbulent
hiss
forest
spirits
chant
distant earthshine
if you wish to dance you must lift your feet off this ground ....... offf off up &
away... put down that shovel...
this lying clown burps out love... that right hand stabs your sacred heart... this left
hand knows not what... she says to me not to be seduced... & i say it to you... yet, now you
are here... you waited in line from that eventful bog moonrise steams primordial
soupkitchen... so now your on this ride.... get ready to get off at your end... enjoy this
ride.... you will get no other... its goinna happen... this opening closes with you... as far as is
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to here knows when
seen known etc.etc... anything else demands this sacrifice, my lucre lies elsewhere...
opening light closing these eyes opens these those these this each opening erupts joyous
swirls darkness
rhythmic orientation contours grasp feel senses this these cascade openings
intimacies fall deeply within amidst these scintillate throbbing surge streams
i see her sitting there with her lacy legs cross slowly, quietly, intently devouring an ice
cream cone... grip this face caress hands rubbing rustling frenzy
feel your body grasp your self this body rub your breast heal neck face this wound dance
across against around your calf you now this you right here this one from all you cannot
persists there over that contour amidst this dwelling concentration confinement
containment captivity carceration consumed feel your self stroke suck drink eat lick your
self you this right now right here you......... eternity opens
voices from deep in these woods call out for me to come follow them these choral
vibrations emanate from correlative bodies these call out to me call out streams erupting
it would seem that every past slowly fades it is rubbed out away through displacing
insertions winding down along there branch out retreat assert alongside over across these
current ongoing happening concern immersions closing in on that which can be will be
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to here knows when
must be
abyss of night talk death sensuality fucking eating swallowing tasting this sun comes up
drift black clouds grasp dance across throat decays lizard slivers vomits spits across
lacerations sit waiting for this sun we sit you sit i sit waiting just me perhaps waiting
waiting waiting for this sun mad weird impish perverse evil frightening molesting this
sours distorted shattered twisted gaze penetrates amidst foul air fractured trust doubt even
containment field disciplinary orchestration effects across intimate happenings these voices
thrust their force gripping me to succomb this inexorable rhythm these seductive caresses
unfold these contours instantiate this through sheer presence there here all around
everywhere
you this one there here in this dwelling display mingle among decaying rotten
excremental inexorability
destiny sings out her mysterious reverberating song this weaving waving dream
these others those others assertions rub themselves away out erased specifiable
strand this shattered fabric remain here breathing yet alive here project out this dancing
joyous horizon possibility this seductive enthralls web gyrates through interspersed
[actuality]
she speaks of that which comes this which must come to pass she tells me that
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to here knows when
the god will rise with the morning its power standing exhibited vindicated displayed
commences its triumphal recurrence disciplination ceaseless eruption these snarl dogs
vermin heat wells betwixt body perishes within shatters apart away alongside
apprehension disperses hold grasp feeling away descend slide confusion wanders
restlessness stands forever inexorably this case falls this sameness proliferates lashing your
she gently rubs her lips with her fingers she casts her gaze over outside across this
this point in which a text breaks down... this point at which an aesthetic system
death...... tears, shock, horror, frenzy... joy... laughter... --= need to get more on
monday as that is this recurrent day of menial reward growing it long it tends to do this
anyway
there shall be no manipulation this eruption must suffice amidst its implicative
happening bestows this inexpressible event matrix body body body body body here there
attempt, if you will, execute take from this air across this ever so subtle gradient fractures
your most intimate concern this present sending amidst these those
happenings
his chief wife matra breach transfer passion play wisdom these
senses plot mystery ingenious eaten by this fish magical spells goat three stringed
mythos ritual praxis phusis two too many ways of saying this same thing rests from life
sandy cliffs two dimensions rising erupting beyond this scintillating green shaking this
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to here knows when
systrum question is it even a question now that it-- ..... talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
talk talk .... wanting only this gift all want what wants now this dawning aquaous sending
she whispers near ears aurora sending across this supple flux
humid air destroys cassette tapes... once upon a time there was a
young beautiful maiden who lived nearby in what looked like from my speeding car a
condo lot she was very very lovely her teeth gleeming with a new & improved shining
gleemy gleemy shout her long thin fragile body clothed in these very stylish yet
climatically inappropriate attires stands there beckons with her touch this gentle display of
care intimate surrender she guides this large black dog attentive goddess dances joyous
i can barely stay awake i wish to communicate this this feeling which seeks me
[inexorably]
this heaviest weight comes back it comes back to me wells surges within this visceral
space it explodes it takes hold of this all of it here it is it it is this surge all
this word is death it is a word death it is there
holding staying sway there ., greater force remaining [already forgetting this word]
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to here knows when
congruent that it persists as sameness change as such not there is no necesssity death
it is just the case/]] jjust just the way it is this way in fact it is as it is this
case
is it at all?
is death necessary beckoning this one towards absence closing all each opening all
references may provide these tracks amidst this ceaseless voidal absurd dream
this dung beetle contemplative scarab displaying its precise nomenclatural happening
.... how fucking exciting billy jams heroin coated suppositories up his
sudden smell of clove infiltrates here in this receptical i am going to let it kill itself in
a way to allow it it to abate this threatening surge of hysterical scurrying huridly towards
hers a death
it is dead now it sets there i do not have the capacity to very verify that it is in fact
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to here knows when
dead but it looks dead i wonder if wine has an anesthetic effect on the physiology of this
thing lying there with its face douced in this red alcoholic pussle puddle
wanting that gift this persisting current here nowwriting does not allow me to forget this
It
mmmmmmmm
come out come out shine upon this space sing your song
Seth, Lord of the South, darkens eclipse, summer winds caress, mocks triumphant
teeming falcon, once you were both brought together, always together, always apart,
sprinkle your ewer waters upon this incipient infant god, this heir of eternity, Lord of the
Two Lands, O, Egypt!
Send discordant calls, wicked devils, shake your systeven Its universal erases
amidst this windrum, insurgency gathers, resist this Lord of millions of years, this eternity,
these days, redemption, attack these gates, stands fast this god Horus defends keeps safe
this realm pushing back shock onslaughts via all every directions, the center of this earth
O evil one, Lord of Avaris, your Tanitic arm, and Sebek, guide your servant, this god
Hemen, kiss gently Anta, your ravage, treasonous consort, rain falls amidst penetrates sun
8
to here knows when
rays whisper happy love your oasis Dakhleh Ta-shema your disintegrate opening
supplants that Lord of the Two Crowns!!!dance here this space betwixt two horizons
Of this Heseb Bull amidst this Lower Kingdom, your Sceptre name sings in
this South, this Upper Kingdom, your life prime, four feet muzzle curve long ears square
tail upright elegant attire headdress splendor, erupt this fleece paroxysm breaks up
tetrahedron surveils Amun stands atop vulture hovers exalts
Isis with vision divine opens aqueous hidden flow, stern wooden
shelter seeks prays for breath, new life, resurrection, his bloodless body hungers, awakens
from this bark sheltered tomb, inspires her soul, cheeks bellow
Deny redemption returns this fugitive son shatters paternal corpse scatters amidst
land of darkness these fourteen pieces dismemberment entombing this one Osiris usurp
eternity pestilent murky everlastingness hope conjures pardox unknown invisible
revealsdespoils torture undying death
Gathers she assembles all sword ingest hand setting on lifeless shoulder
smiles sky emergent intercede divinity deathborn Horus loyal son brother Isis conceives
engenders Nephthys issues challenge launches assault this idiot laughs belches yell out
where can i find some pussy this sublime darkly man whispers look in that mirror
avenges father coming forth by day eventful nightly trial chaos bubbles steams cracking
surface
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to here knows when
ashen glow lays gently across this infant blanket surge birds flows fly forth labours Nut
announces bestows this triumph as this blue child ascends resurrection reborn purifies this
pink rising sun Osiris
O children of these vanquished, you shall rise again scatter erase this domain
exude violence shatter holy temples remove breath from animals sacred hardship arms
unity dissemble casting blistering knives at gods fulfill prophesy bestow pretext this idol
smiles
Entangle Typhon persecute disperse evil one crush his moment make an end
to failings remove defects savor this abundant necter behind this shrine, cry out in tearful
joy, proclaim this eternal victory, these children of impotent revolt shall never again arise,
commejust because these fit doesn't signal shitnce this festival shining dance beckon
whispers
Your tears O children silent fall upon no ears this eagle establishes his throne, your
barren revolt, pale simulate attack wretched defile casts excrement upon mere image of
eternity this day face of Horus, he, carry these testicles, sees concealed things this season of
fire & night flaming strife everlasting
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to here knows when
O Children your revolt wallows, you believe fictions transfix image hypnotic
your enemy opposites reinforce opposites defile this attack harbors implicit affirmation of
your target, what you sought to destroy brings only the satraverse mazes dance disciplines
It scoresme, this god of two faces, laughs, plays you off each against this other, a cat plays
prey, this silver cord ties it together unseen
O Children of Seth, this illusory hostility betwixt light & darkness seduces your gift
entrap adverse triumph victory clears nearness absorption stars never set dance amidst this
temple of sand, if one does not believe, one does not defile, attain perspective, you, your
god, displace, erase annihilation
orchestrates sanctity causes these to obey
O decadent children, seduced via churning false belief, you shall never rise up again this
day this night thrust together marriage shadow light ensues artful separasingular gaze this
dance this chance openstion guise earth becomes light one virtual purity this evil one
shelters still imprisons things, turns up earth in your blood, you migrate bestial, fiend,
impish dissimulator, perverse light, O eternity, O Egypt!
are you watching me? why are you watching me? why do you continue to read if you
wish to respect my sacred privacy? Please stop, cease, desist, set this book down,
please..................................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................
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to here knows when
ust another
other lies
vomit streaming
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to here knows when
out
this
only
mouth
gnawing coercing]
saturatingt
real thing
i meow at this one walking by it stops turns its head listens for my next meow but
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to here knows when
given a priori
it
is to
she leaves tomorrow i may never see her again yet possibility dances this
eruption this joyous caress must not come to an end this dancing flux of chance is not
entirely out of these hands or if it is may it shower gifts of delightful surprise it is not
entirely out of my haenter holy of holies laugh laugh laughnds or hers this caress this joy
incessantly shown those things no one reeally does anyway since it is all a script designed
to enslave actors & spectators alike this dreadful implosion into this utter sameness
enforces this separation continuous flow operation displays those faces which look so
cult of youth qua engulfing suffocating vortex containment listen to this shining
sensual flickering light
shocking eyes assertion rabid image foams spits up its undigested food into your lap all
over your brand new ultra fashionable attire ... only yesterday trash street garb
if she does not reach out amidst this last time of opening it would be one time which
yet this is not fathomed as this will break this thread this opening of chaotic
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to here knows when
this feeling this web of tentacles once again descends amidst indeterminacy
yet it does not matter anyway in the least since these feelings are only
determined by these special circumstances & will depart with a suitable absence
it is so strange how this rhythmic dance can transfigure from this to that
each thrives recurs eruption amorphous scintillations these paths this darkest night of
it is only this way it is that way it is that that over there here this special web
cracked to the core with no center but that which is movement amidst proximate surge
at first drinking this bestows nausea but after a few doses it no longer makes ill as it numbs
all of these primary defense loci out of control... blood sport semen goddess dance...
see
this
death as
a problem
it is everywhere these gods are laughing amidst this nebulous fractured dance
this their sublime performance merce cunningham life forms enter exit
this woman wears this black dress approaches, asks quietly, when does a god die,
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to here knows when
where is this line, & what becomes of this god once it is dead? what is this death? death?
death?
a small child approaches this gathering, sets eyes down in modesty, assures, encourages
these each their face eyes focus intently upon this little one, he begins, stutters, asks, could
could this kind of death turn amidst life, is this part of this dice roll? they are so
insideously shallow with dollar signs in their vacant eyes joy she breathes closing eyes
opening these slowly pales dark receptacles geometric tricks lick you you you until this
wake of dawn please wipe yourself properly before you confront this world this is my only
even this machine is effected by this suffocating humid hell his hair slicks back
with his wince smile so sublime what a joy i love his no name face i will listen to it again
for it pleases me so that is what he thought when he said thought on this outside.... it feels
too good on this throat to give it up... this woman in this black dress pursues her
questions further, what is this difference between a death of a god, and that of a singular
homo terra? what does death mean for that which has no body? in which ways does a
god die? and, what is done once this god has died? is there some type of funerary practise
associated with this event? what is a god anyway? is such a thing even conceivable,
he makes this sign of satan with both his hands this horned square snouted fanged face
grunting out primal groaning moan with his tongue extended hanging down protrusion of
slashing saliva drenched dripping saber lashing out this groan until the cops come tell him
to shut his fuckin' mouth people are trying to sleep have to get up in the morning...
a mad mortician begins ranting hysterically about this corpse this dead body which
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to here knows when
must be hygienicly eradicated for this sake of terrestrial viability cleansing sanitizing this
space mopping up death enacting western death ritual land evening display
remember
get ready make ready perform dance death frenzy hysteria dance
irretrievable origins
cling torn threads grasp hold seek way out look beyond consoles
nausea fear isolatese hopeless inevita encroach absence eclipse carry self
one dies death form liveg no experience death only ritual prepares
this event dreads happen forestalls occurrence walk path death towards death
already dead
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to here knows when
crimson milk congeals posterior back via gravity
lips crack open dry man wears apron approaches body hose trickles mild stream
water
set down man pick up razor blade encases holder slashes right side neck body
inserts gloved fingers this hole isolates juggler primary artery tie it off small length
white string
decomposition ensure annihilation remains body corpse take hold tube emanates
insert nozzle tip hose slice open artery tie off secure seal tubes turn machine pump
contents glass chamber body corpse hole artery gash slash neck body expands cleanse
agent intermix blood nitros conjoin blood protein fix blood protein approach neck
green fluid fills body unties string withdraws nozzle tip hose absence constraint blood
cleanser formaldehyde-protein complexes pulsate streaming out next down grooves slants
marble table down drain out city sewer matrix
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to here knows when
shape body before it becomes fixes position embalms fluid laceration neck sewn
thick thread
makeup skin colors powder place skin life like preserve cleanses coat silicon spray
cast across
job there applies hair done curl blown dry under drier
place table clothes put body bras underware dresses pants picture supplies legal
representatives allow some approximation resemblance lip stick rouge body places coffin
transport view room sterile space walls cover flowers eerie organ music drones above
she who waits death ritual death blood sewers ruin precious open expanses land
bodies dead raw material bounty nature god's gift lucrative commodity dead body
vultures hover above watch live bodies fall prey contagions release upon living living
infects
the idiot rejoins: it is phusis, it is life itself, it is this coming to be, ceasing to be, of all
things, all life opens, becomes, ceases to be, intersperses, disperses, cast across vain winds
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to here knows when
[peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww]
words smell vomitous history you say cross without this banal laughter you admit stink
you are so arrogant in your presentation your own pretentious possibilities.... merely
for you never had any hope outside your fetish of death your morbid will to command
clipping wings turning laughter into sorrow joy into despair... just because you are sick...
this is not everything.... one need not be pretentious to wish to love ... to dance on a
sunset... to live on this earth..... this only life .... this only time....
threats brutalscape this manifestation your own fear this fear which renders you paralysed
you slink along perpetuating your own ridiculous sickening lying absurd existence
it is simply impossible at this point to ever be totally honest with your self
so you go on lying & lying & lying to yourself..... you fool speaking of your assinine shit...
totally honest ... what does that even mean.... brainchild wind race dick fuck mud moss
trees whirls aside toad dance rack climbs birds fly upside down bees hit the ground....
do not forget everyone else even if you tell this truth lies proliferate
relentlessly hopeless truth depicted evil.... evil whose evil whose evil i ask you ... one last
time... tello me what the fuck you mean.... do not assume that everyone unde4rstands
you.,... that you are plainly in sight... that all already know for you are held in such high
esteem... you don't command shit anymore.... don't assume that your right & wrong
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to here knows when
traverse across space.... for many you are evil.... so get with the program... get a clue you
all this time saying doing portraying exhibiting performing these correct things
anything at all you never say anything at all you think i am relaying
it will probably eclipse to this wind these legs wrap around each she discloses her
practices in such a matter of fact way what a relief that it does not matter at all will listen
to it again for it pleases me waiting for this rewind in buzzing silence hearing this herd call
of frat boys what a joy i hear this surge in music replicates shatters my face ears that
seventeen year old menopause victim lashes her brainwashed terms in my face i could not
breathe a more hideous death.... a heart attack??? well if it comes i would not be very
suprised.......
you cannot
rambler besides
it is
so i am an escapist
i threw it off the balcony of this house in order for it to be reunited physically with its site
of emergence a nostalgic sentimental mystic thought it must have been dead for it did not
21
to here knows when
in effect to retreat from this reality i gave a flower to
this spider but it has as yet remained still locked up setting perching its wood laden crack
hole there it seems to only enact its assertion amidst moving targets flying around
this one only reality natasha is her name she is tired & her eyes are
bothering her... all eight of them... she is beautiful in the subtler respects of this term
this only reality who even needs to be there it is all just a vortex of recurrent
hype one who wushes wishes one who by wishing other than what is is condemned
with this mark of one who denies life for everyone asserts that this reality is strictly black &
these have abated disappeared due to this profusion of ingested smoke blown out
around down over across there attempting to dislodge natasha... light diffuses bounce
blockade tones down sight.... all depends on this sun... or is this no longer the case... it
was... yet this box opens another source... indefinite extension possible beyond five billion
years... even if the sun explodes... alive still alive walking in a dead sunless dark world but
alive... conjures this everlasting task of wakefulness always keeping this fire going...
keeping the coals... if it goes out we die... perpetual duration artificial worlds beauty under
these hills... bubbles bounce envelop hold us together there is no difference .... it is simply
total image not looking back removal transgression this sacred hip to my head
she must be asleep i will join her there is a raging flux combats for this soul both
sides seem so nice one side relies on this image of future this other on this surge he buys
me a drink since he articulates my nice guyishness i let it go to hear this rest selling these
kids for food fool fool fool a michevous one at that turn this rage to bloom making up for
three days fasting at least i have a sharp knife that is all as images rape my mind.....
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to here knows when
nothing is absolutely newwww
wicked men sun moon isles of these blessed he got some new programs must plug these in
oh boy..... a new one how nice everything always new so new keeps us on our toes..... we
dance like ballerrinassssss... one must not divide this loaf killing a deadly biting
serpent via teeth clenching chewing tears biting dance pursuit simplicity friends opening
soul prison of body refrain from writing down these names life metempsychosis horse
puppy or something
you destroy these desires these lives seek only to live you shit on magical
innocence
with whom each this share ... he knew generalities.... knew man.... this knowledge
surveils dances discipline.... did not know self.... with this attempt he realizes this is not .,...
.... falls away with wind blind amidst welling suffocates darkness engulfs back away.....
numb...away......gone....
fractured festive joyous eruptions you desire destruction you subvert seduce this
possibility life he looks at me tired knows my face... me non non threat boy there in his
store ask if he owns it says yah do you like it says its a job its a job its a job its a job what a
joy this wood pulsates with these lovely dancing juicy plants all all so lovely dance shatters
wind scream scream demon boy laughs at this all fuck fuck fuck .... his body is already
decaying.....
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to here knows when
you must make death real ever present possibles ethos death stench suffocates
sucking discipline net work slaves i reject your classification of this life ass
you endure one of these now this now in which you live
there must be many these exist persist amidst us each day caressing touching licking
guiding us along this realm here guided along throughout this matrix ... if this be
a decree of execution
you see i am not wrong same time you sit there your wallow
confusion
geneology
strategy
all these silly little distractions little ploys make me forget for a little while
24
to here knows when
forget it all forget this standing inevitable insatiable mouth these questions project
how can you justify anything my friend you utter asshole listening to these
weltering screams of a now dead man oh boy what a fucking joy jimmy wants a cracker
jimmy is a cracker... jimmy wants himself... oh no... this drueling fuckhead says that it is
odd to translate that to this... filter filter filter filter make this domesticated you fucking
piece of slime i dare you all i need is batteries & a few good men.... a better way ... gotta
finda way... when i can..... i am certainly not going to go hungry.... not at all... although my
sweet count may go up & up & up.... oh boy.... energy it surges through your leather belt it
slashes across green skin.... don't regret a thing..... arrest myself... letting that other side
hold sway for a little while.... another night..... love is blind.... you can tell one through
these eyes.... stay away... loving sophia even though she is urinating in a phone booth.... cry
on demand.... licking it up just like it is this sweet rain.... pretend that there is something
this very question justice denial inexorable law this way things this truth for what
infinite everlasting
must
it does not admit of regimentation this inexorable saying this shit stained logos this certain
25
to here knows when
becoming of coming to be & passing away
it can never become nothing becoming exhibits this stamp of being it is this
there is no abyss at all through which you would descend none but this abyss
within contemplation
terminally ill passion surges movement designat me myself others these happen interact
then there this word epoch it also shit god differance etc etc... cloture
label all monks priests either hetero gay narcissistic sadistic or masochistic, or
neuter
returns recurrs one moment to this next with respect to that before not knowing anything
for sure
if one executes a young rebel before he turns old you will assure that he or she
will not have these credentials of an elder yet she or he will find this eternal bliss of dreams
following randomly placed amidst this textual space---- total discordant conflict erupts
there terrrestrially across that expanse there talk restoration motherland this time graced
26
to here knows when
via these daughters of sophia this time total complete legitimacy innocence innocence new
cultural power
it is clear if one deeply becomes intimate amidst this opening that this style
amidst its transfigured blossoming joy becomes this very domain in which each has sought
this time encourage apprehend these brutal terrestrial facts these all too disruptive events
inversion this obvious ponders this hypocritical performance divine space valid
discipline..... restoration
beyond
this time now transfigured frolicking dancing coverage talk projective sculpting
magical assimilation
banal self satiated vindictive ignorance laziness greed ridden complicity unknowing
genocide worshipping amidst this temple of lady macbeth washing washing washing soap
soap soap out damned spot spot spot fighting back these shadows linear hardness
fathoming this diamond lacerating core
adding one onto these others these same others feces water waste matter discharges these
lover earth wisdom free casting relief engulfing flesh mask Idea loving sophia
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to here knows when
depiction rapture esoteric hovering
she certainly knew what was going on at that time in that place
from my eyes
she knew all about it she comforts amidst this way these things she feels vibrations
many other things all kinds of things clever equivocation same divest immediate
embeded terra explodes it was almost as if she were not human not eagle berger
no one knows what is going on right now this would have to wait until that suspenseful
morning, before this conjectured sunrise.... set struggles to rise jerking off seducing this
boy horus defeated upon innocence isis seeks to find coalesce fifteen pieces her loving
brother fucking osiris horus son mother sister brother conquers set this struggle
throughout across amidst this fractured discordant night erupts there light this triumphant
defense this surmounting restoration sending this world this time she knew this she
she knew everything this what which here there wherewhen this happening smile caress
saunters around gazing circumspect quietly exhibits this strange detached joy her
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to here knows when
gentle smile radiant
she walks hunches over all some kind visceral agony similar topology just she
there here one day out this blue horison she here seeming knowing something something
she seems not seeming eager divulge reluctant convey disclose her words she did not this
time this place open herself anyone she just came stayed left walked on by utter
disconnection this process amidst that opening opening closing there this happening there
erupts excession difference it is not certain what this difference consists what it [actually]
not certain this point it difficult it difficult begin enact execute description that
unbounded profusion flickers waves butterfly wings cruelly joyous tickling this supple
epiderm expanse stagger she always seems via some kind tranquilizing
trance out touch immediate contact accessible always there floats here there back again
she is always a little just off she's not really there all each virtual image stand
jesus has a problem yet a problem only if one looks at him from this judgement of
that moral regime which came to presence around about that first agricultural revolution
that one that got us off of gathering foraging roaming this appropriate space to herding
together like at&t cows reach out, you are bound to touch someone...
grips grasp across over bleeds abandon yet it wouldn't matter anyway in his druel stained
diaper
*these shockingly strange practices, find out this concealed truth behind this, his Messiah,
29
to here knows when
disturbing revelations, tales of flesh--- next on a current affair*
if one apprehends these perrenial events one so taken aback by this chimp witnesses
throws shit over across spectators those come to see this most moster mostest exotic beast
must it be deploying this shower weapontry possibly sends out overture hygenic
intermingling wishes extens this possibility terrestrial association cleaning your feet with
its tears...
no secret for those arouse these she exudes chimps absurd ridiculous
fribulate affirms singular so very clear not ridiculous as ugly ambush butter utter shit
hepatitus city world counter movement enforcement moral law genocide you name it
she knew that this something really really traumatic going down whoever thought
executed this moment rapturous eternity must be commended for its contribution to life
although this one these ones did not reckon what was to happen this consequence
of their exertions
she noticest all these exertions tendential drives toward distraction mystification
she herself pure is mysticism subverts via her own rage envy although she must not try to
explain excuse away her fear to enact riot stage artaud throughout this audience beyond
product difference persists this same this all force her other become this midst other her
apprehension strategy captures her myrous web procedural discipline makes her life this
proverbial living hell not allow it to bloom blossom erupt this ecstatic eternity of joy
opposition fabricated portrayed oppressively powerful & attacked from the point of view
of the old exploiter now victim turning these latter words experiences against this old
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to here knows when
victim now exploiter strategic intensification escalation repressive modes of operation
cultural warfare shooting the wad.... shoot shoot across this mirror....
he comes over this house wearing a white dress, makeup, knit stockings very high
wishes to come in it is not such a great concern i will not let him in since i
feel that he is a banal satanist why must he howl like that? make those absurd gestures
with his hands why must he she assert that all that is must perish immediate
dread terror escape narcissism /although it is torn since it shines there amidst nothingness
coool surrender via this complexifying outsurge shot across over amidst his attire
why after all must one identify with this boobie trap infested web implosive
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<good?>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
all this loveliness all i ever wanted to be this label i see hear taste touch
feel a spirit world carnography one with a black red white yelloow blue if we count
suicides etc. face on it covered in mud, honest, displays pale pink spotty off white freckles
etc....
suddenly proud rapturous daring lesbians erupt dancing floating on this joyous
succulent wind riding this wave of honey
it is not readily apparent whether this face is that of a male or female although
its eyes flash a sense amidst incites this flashing drift annihilates contour of male-ness this
triumph of every possibility of any wish dream desire lust it could ever hope to transgress
these three roman dudes hang out smoke pot drink beer wine
kentucky whiskey///// & vodka from the Motherland... they have six hits of acid between
31
to here knows when
these three=== they are set... they decide collectively that they should enact a conceptual
experiment... bring it all into focus -----> nietzsche is taking a bubble bath**** he is
masturbating himself furiously he wishes to partake amidst this to witness erupting his
seeming spouting to & fro this phallic dance as a testimonial sacrifice to his dead god
corpse ...... bury it... burn it... upon this grammatological pyre history genealogy
providence destiny etc via transcendens rage scream stillness dancing imploding waves
momentum eruptive singular scatters outside eats referential negativity terrestrial rhythm
feeling hearing tasting touching seeing bestows playspace this precious precarious eternity
innocence becomes this now conflictual domain decisive sending thwarted stagnant
vengeful hold staying sway earthly cultural war ensues ideas image style float confront
arm yourself yourselves zealously fight defend resist these violent abusive vindictive
jealous solipsistic projective disciplinary paternal scoldings [it is illegal to have oral sex for
this whole thing just shit whipping your face your one this only special face amidst these
others each displays this their each this face intensify expansive directionality this play
maintain via erasure displace this threat protect thrust out amidst hard won singular lives
this now this only time all guarentees evaporate amidst blinding burning radiation reality
unless they are cool you know if someone is cool realize that this play that serious child
absencing hierarchy of souls only this truth disguised in dream interspersing mist fog
32
to here knows when
smoke steam yellow casting rays fall bounce off this screen it is all so very different now
there this line amidst each field leaves of grass cascade across thoughout betwixt there
holding sway this doing happening frenzy being this joyful dancing eternity ecstatic
singularity twirling whirling this wind racing rapid across against dispersed around swirls
upon swirls racing dancing laughing these gods laughing at us rage explodes shattering
casting shocks waves gently lick this infiltrating sand tiny birds peck through gleaming
skin children jolt out jerking about this mutilation via this stringed bow scratching across
this frail violin shreaking vibes oscillate amidst jabbing circumstantial bass bellows bad art
rhythm experience grammar in this now time displays erects scaffolding giving building
this funeral pyre on which this dead god reposes it is only for us to light this fire
respectfully prepare this sacrifice all these stood these free spacing appropriate sites
influxing here there everywhere this fire cast erupting dispersing this corpse this dead
decaying etc god it not often when one may come upon a plausible sacrifice this sacrifice
already always dead it being honorable prudent noble pragmatic superstitious fanatical
absurd joyous banal a matter of course even good laying this dead god to rest once and for
all these dance as these visible instantiations this dead god thrown up in flames this
reasoning deployed elsewhere in different places different times for other reasons different
aims let us embark on a theological problematic just for this that hell of it one which has
urgent almost daringly incredible almost in that obvious sometimes excretes obvious some
efforts can never come too soon especially if one wishes to be able to smell fragrance
please think for me i cannot bear to have you ever smelled this decaying corpse this god
you there smelling it right now now this time burn this dead god it simply
33
to here knows when
matter toxic waste management ?
is it love or more plausibly this very image any-god dead it that there never god
yet each one jolting seeming usually only lives more than a little more at best of
but how does one live that long it must be either luck magic banality
a moth just came into this space it initially sputtered around this screen then as i
sought to play with it with my jetting hand it flew off throughout across this opening
national class race gender etc. etc. ... differences resemble corrals for herds of cattle
nationalism labellism.... this surging lust for identity,, etc... is banal primitive narrow
nihilistic impotent
it must be quite obvious that this is influenced by excrement shooting across right
at this body from this that thing over there frankenstein is also another question which
intrigues this sending across kissing tickling sparkling lips wet caress .... dracula.....
aesthetic nobility.....
it is as yet discordant what does this mean what is it to unite a species what is a species
things are never what they seem watching the planets dance pleasure ride this sound other
side
via casting amidst this rhythm oblivion for to incite babbling frenzy may return this
34
to here knows when
obscurity from its flight into such disintegration concealment silence erasure eternally all
recurs amidst this sedative blind casting to this all caressing engulfing wind inciting these
earth water this sacrifice through fire smoke swirling amidst open air cremation this dead
god upon this pyre innocence dispersing this virulent rotten corpse
one must not bury a dead god for it must already always be exhumed this burning
casting to this vain wind will suffice throw up these aspects to be playfully dancing amidst
this flowing attentive listening fluxuation you will be dead before you know it you will
never know it it is obvious what you do in fact know obvious will bestow excession
does anything matter to you anymore in such a way that you would abandon
yourself with assertation to your singular sending erupting amidst this event of opening
a woman meets and falls in love with a man. The man loves her very much.
Yet, she is a lesbian, and has difficulty with her lover's centrist concern with phallic
penetration, and moreover, she hates the very site of a cock. She asks him if he will
undergo a sex change operation in order that they can stay together. He undergoes this
operation performed & now her name is betty.... they lived together...
repetition
35
to here knows when
el bonita terra
muchacha muchacho
these brilliant shining ones out there,,,,,,,,,,, 1234, stop the killings stop
the war
he goes along but this cannot be due to this utter ridiculous chance upon a chance
to take one to break this stolen rhyme not this but rhthymn
but we all who are gathered here amidst this divine happening must a-
p[prehend that we as this good must as is our duty dispense justice as it is fit for this time
this place
although these considerations degrade us all
all of us
for these ones have no place in this weighing against this feather
cast presses down this heavy heart of sorrow grief there is no scale no
36
to here knows when
white brushed against blue dome inexorably remixing torrent movement
in a few cases assassination would be a very very good god excellent thing
it sets there expenditure bodies this clue follow these it all begins once
again let us hear it turn it over push this button then push that other one this body begins
to drift away to that other space... what the hell... it could not matter in this least... she
dances in her hippy garb... what a joy... it comes comes comes nothing could can stop it it
just comes..... it is this power which is pleasing.... it floats across then lands it is all this
same.... listening to it once again for it is pleasing.... she is overboard self assured let us
after you have been somewhere long enough insects birds animals
begin to know you know what to expect amidst you, watch your best moves... witnessing
this wild breeze... it squats in those bushes wet covers in mud crown leaves perches atop
this head it squats glaring at me ancy nervously repositions itself over & over rhythmically
everyone will misunderstand this but nevertheless will get it... but in the wrong way... this
bible was written initially as a satire... this eucharist is ritualized cannibalism... this glimpse
utter banality ridden ensouled converted reborn creationist excrement... it feeds on itself
eating every proximate sending toxic yellow lymphatized discharge
it is as if one throws shit on the statue of the god this one has at this point
already given itself over to defeat this god has emerged as victorious due to this banal
belief in it in its power as a magical amulet link amidst sparkling infinite affinity love
these sectors to be destroyed irony surges river broken up proliferates set free into a prison
of tiny irrigation channels amidst diversity beauty divide & conquer via radical thought
37
to here knows when
radical what???
an old man half way up looks around pisses shouts there must be an alternative
a lovely adonis this fine prince approaches says yes there is you can have a channel
satanism dionysian hystericization intoxication female dance dance hand & hand
amidst this flood of excrement shooting you dust in this torrent laughs at your vanity ho
at least not intentionally if there is such a thing as intention you ignore you live your own
if you offend that is not your problem for this is mere residual trace reaction
kill all intruders... that is your right of self defense.... use it... kill with a smile...
if you do not believe you neither worship nor defile after all this does not even
make any sense why set yourself up as a tragic comic hero.... a folk hero.... no one not even
these little succulent very very very really little tiny small boys want to be danial boone
anymore really..... uninteresting simplistic stylistic references cannot undermine it until one
at this first break this spirit ran across this lawn on which that spinderella shot
around sending out this fine hovering displacing mist traversing towards amidst this utter
dispersion lost in trivial ridiculous fantasies dreams all of this for nought...
38
to here knows when
each plays this game this reality this force gathers this existence it is as is does
these vicious dogs speak this loudest to conceal their status as vermin lumpy vomit
this very devastation which these condemn... my advice, go ahead & persecute yourselves,
kill yourselves, just be quick about it! if only julian would have been successful, but then he
would have been more ruthless.... he succombed to slavish dogs this civilization seduced,
its downfall coming here, it was not decadence, but virtue which slew this dragon... listen
is it a nightmare or is this there this way this way it is here] it is so very different now
in the face of death i fear this gnawing raging consumptive sun abstract universal absolute
persist persists durable amidst streams time space flux in that this these will never not send
throughout this streaming bliss yet this abstract this universal this absolute projects amidst
outflashings caresses streamings across hovering here this utter eruptive frenzy delusions
this singular wedges cut slashed crashed burned fractured consuming disintegration
annihilation extermination erasure silence concealment happening there before your gentle
eyes
your trusting opsis windows casting out this shadow vision
your soul this surge joyous interstitial streams explode orgy love this shines out across
beyond away there this lovely dwells here here amidst these corousing spirits quakes out
she has that other copy but now it is obselete... oh well... it really does not
matter anyway... ist das der hund? ist der welt als der fall? tu madre es una muy bonita
muchacha... there once was a spider who sat on that doorstep wishing it were all disney....
39
to here knows when
but it was not this way who could really say anything differently as all is censored???
i love you
but i am insane
well not insane but mad as this rabid howling dog spits at this woman this
veiled face cast across surface this moon this shines scatters dance over across apart out
from this earth winds shout stream across blankets tickles thrusts lash whispers greet
salutations hellos transgressions amidst this innocence becomes he sat by his lonesome
comtemplates this mass extermination of peoples beings spaces etc.. etc... ... h e thought a
lohng time...
he lived in a shoe
this little disaffected boy who was just so bored with this regimented assinine banal
blistering suburban concerntration camp flies around smashes people's pumpkins in this
40
to here knows when
these kids froliked dancing light
he was a fascist
he was no dope
what a fool is he
41
to here knows when
orchestration breaking of bodies bones heads face etc.
doc 1 pg 28 ln 8" pos 4.2 3.4"... and so the se odd----yssey began as the shits was
debso the se..... senario began with a mutual destructiion mode if intermittent
tendencies
explodes continues to well up across this obstructing vortex swaying trees screaming
deeper wider throughout this soil choking gagging suffocated confusion next
follow
follow me me me me me memmemee we
arbitr
ary wan der
ing
screaming intensifies brutal shocks quakes rock body lunges rustling deeper
42
to here knows when
within this bleeding trace
for now
as it is all eclipsed
joyous
space
qaq
this right time this time you are not there sleeping
43
to here knows when
listening to his voice it is comfort in this time this time this opening of
no no no
not me
me the story goes that way yeah the i saw you i got the mess
age call me immediately she is flipped she is crazy.... pushed to madness by the foul
gargantuans painted like freaks to stir these masses but he could not explain this at all it
was not even clear to him whether it was super models at all maybe it was his obsessional
projection onto this one of his own gender he was not sure he was confusede he was e s
suppositories?????????????????????????????,<,/..>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.,,dbdhd
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oo utterly profound this one most profound he most most most mostest of this utter
seething profundity.... of course his own sexuality could not sustain such a dreadful lust he
disintegrates this drive amidst his stench repulses seethes annihilistic physical infestation....
he lays there descending onto her mixing into this water she screams she takes it all away
in that one moment it is there to be found that which does not retreat into oblivion it is
44
to here knows when
there there there here no where else besides.... she yells screams get away from me get
away from me get away from me you are just like all the others........ the words evokes
from her mother are true.... the clarity is simply profound...... she knows she has to take
care of her self we talked about going crazy when we first met after
confined in adjoining beds in the same room of the same asylum..... this other
intruder interpenetrates absconds with innocence descends amidst the savory gift of
flowery juices.....& juices so fine so fine they blow my mind nourishes tender loveliness she
gasps grasps hold of neck shivers shakes quaking erupts digging nails in deep moans
beckon depths virulent soul..... meat maet want some meat? I bbob
boboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboboobobbbbooobob
oobobobobooboboboobobbbbbbooooooooobbbbooooobobboooooobbbnoopoo0obooooo
just remember that the laying buddah is the dead one one who is just the same smells of
it thanks you so much for your shining yet cryptic holier than thou banal
/////////////////////////you absurd ridiculous paralysed fool except if you were not so fucking
goddamned beautiful...
but you it is such a shame ha hyisw openingn persisss as limited beyobd his
one to love.... although this may be falling from this heart throbs in blissful joy as you erupt
as feeling in this surging cavity there are very few people with which it can fall in love....
but as is always this case that cannot be for it is all futility... at least ultimately.... not even
that it is futile... the sooner one learns this the sooner one will enjoy sex again... but what is
45
to here knows when
ultimate that which what stands there in that other world after this ... a dream... a
narcotic....
perish this world this one which it must expect to be witnesseed via a perspective
which must be absent as its primal situation of happening there no other world only
tenuous projection necessitating bracket this this one that here this taken away must
remain its eruption projection shows forth from this one this here
an after world called ancient domain this civilization has been invented via
systematic... not system in an idealized sense but a gathering a holding together through
matrix of terrestrial et organizational presence present in this this amount in this this
ascending into its rebirth it is as if this religion were somehow unexpectantly true it is as if
terrestrial beings in this valley these ones who have inscribe4d this thickest mark on this
soil understood that this situation desp[ite its orientational abundance was somehow a
cruel jadded trick a deception being seduced to this most faithfully orchestrated joyous
happening only to realize that this too would pass there must be an everlasting mark
inscribed so as this event will ever be erased without witness sheer absense this joke
casting about erupts as laughter of those dead ones there no emulational beingness image
here
only smells remain this one must penetrate into an afterlife an after world for
which this record may be read this scenario those who witness this invention those
participate in this uttely self-deceptive absurdity are in fact these gods this form our
46
to here knows when
existence our happening is that pagan afterworld this is this secret all worlds are
afterworlds for these ones that die... all worlds even worlding dies... there can be no escape
this makes ruthlessness so quaint thrilling .... but only if these remember that afterwor4ld
cultivation durability
there is no ideal space but that of imagination as it grasps hold of the prospect of a
future one radically horizonal as that which could persist after this death... a singular being
clutches with its last breath its feeling slides off of this tangible... this imagination projects
but can never disembark totaly6 fron this self since it is this longing projection of this self
that afterworld is this world for them for what their longing must have been meant we
seduce each ourselves grand delusions heaven above earth we sacrifice4 discipline each
ourselves across radically unnecessary ways since this is tied to the propogation of that
other world thetic longing there is somebody watching us who is in fact watching us
jacking off qua clouds .... or it is jerking off... who can say this difference between jerk &
jack... but those who will come after us as this proverbiasl judge there is no after life but
that which is there as this present reality projection will always be problematic since
finitude will always remain an incitement to perplexity yet as we look back one sees that
sentiment of immortality refers to that age which will come or this opening with reference
to that which seems to have been... passing this torch... this catch is that no one lives on...
this opening closes... an opening contemplates its closing & that closing before... this
difference... us & them... we dance in our own excrement in this amibiguous perdurance of
terrestrial wisdom...
yet this perspective can never be satisfying for this one who believes because as is
obvious only the form the eidos this image this hope persists this memory however is no
memory at all this image this inscription this trace hangs immersed amidst an entirely
47
to here knows when
different constellation esp. if this civilization this time is now radically past yet there is
projection of immortality.,... let us not forget what is really happening now ....... but what is
really happening has nothing even to do with reading this trash... it has to do with body
fluid shit cell division & skin... pussies & dicks... there can be still so many explosions in
this mist.... but this is just another way to distract from this slide into oblivion.... but then
again who cares anyway what is the most immediate this most intimate in its ever
proliferating aspects this here is this opening that wants to be there when it can be here
here right here right now ... fuck the worship of the future... all play this game... where I
been what I did where you are what you did distant powers how far... what I did what
you did where you are how utterly far... how I long only to touch you gently with streams
of love amidst this cold savage wind, this hideous onslaught, this insult, this defecation
this is that afterlife this belief & that in an intelligible world are one & thIS same...
those pagan kings always already with heavy hearts obliterated amidst that trial cast away
this is all this is is going to be [we] are here [we] will be radically erased in this sending....
grasp hold joy love pain in this midst build create dance amidst ecstatic joy primal vortex
48
to here knows when
shifting outflashes pleasure pain this striking sameness .............. so silly this druel...
in this end that which matters .... all shatters scatters abyss
this present happening ... he/she/it laughs & laughs & laughs
persists sterile festering hooks are released just as you were beginning to assimilate amidst
this impalement this ambiguous confining visceral channels surge these hooks are removed
maybe these were never quite there at all maybe this entire reality erupts as chaotic
imagination dances trembling quakes there as delusion deception taking hold of this most
wicked image conjured to life via upsurging feeling anxiety anguish seeking that which is
thrown against stands against none will respond will be given suffocating theatre splashes
grasping clawing shadows grasps scratches out this matrix makes maker makee
it is what it is as it happens here there across through via this way this right here
right now excess of joy shatters tenuous spatial formations too much too soon sends...
it all closes itself away plummets down throughout this vortex sending disintegrates down
across amidst saying showing citation tract hieroglyphics orchestration this artifact woman
grinding grain [dynasty V; twenty-fourth century b.c.] description figure kneels back slants
perpendicular to upper thighs, backs of feet toes flat on surface of ground, feet
perpendicular to surface of ground, husky shoulders arms wrists grasp stone both hands
stone slides up & down in out across curves incline sunken surface stare forlorn vacant eyes
parallel to calves heels headpiece drapes round head fits large ears proportional to rest of
body set parallel to feet perpendicular to surface of ground on side of base of artifact
column of base no upper garment is worn photograph there persists only shadow grimace
49
to here knows when
frown adorns mid forehead above pensive stern eyes
there is a killer on the road his brain is squirming like a toad this world on you
i long for these each one but there is no opening in this enduring feeling fracturing amidst
death
`````````````````` this welling surge seeps within sucking me down instilling this tiny
proliferating virus this seed of doubt self torture a sickening monk thrashes itself naked
with a whip abasing sensing this encroachmnet this onslaught this shout of utter
insignificance meaningless this world ... it will certainly go on without you... this word ....
this place... really does not need you... just try to blend in to make yourself fit... try to find
your niche... yet if you don't if instead you decide to blow your brains out... well that is
your choice... of course you may be missed by some... yet, life will go on... it always does....
yes, margaret there is not santa clause... transcendence... it was all just a lie to get you
ready for the next lie that will shatter in your face... but don't worry... don't scream... for
with each lie you overcome... with each level... that only means you are that much more
experienced that much more of an adult... only with the complete absence of belief... the
complete dissolution of magic will you have attained the ultimate goal... then you will be
alll.... will be nothing...... this welling surge creaps up says you are nothing... you are
shit.... you are a fool,,,... there is no point in trying.... no point in showing forth... yelling out
your voice.... no sense in any of this... unique? don't kid your self you are nothing but fly
shit.... no this is giving you too much... a small parasite upon a parasite in the fluid osmotic
happening of a parasite on fly shit... yet only when you realize this do you realize the
50
to here knows when
sublime mystery of alll.... give up your silly attempt to speak... to shine.... the world will
keep rolling with or without....... & you know better for you have been well prepared
although you say that it cannot be love this clarification erupts as staggering annihilation of
this inexorable thrust displays pathetic death excrement streams shoot about around in
my face as it is wiped away this cleansing ritual incipientizes horrific dispersion dreams
push outside this simple possibility but i love you this does not mean a fucking thing
innocence seems to have taken leave of this space for some time although all is always
already rhythmicly dancing as innocence this irretreivable is no longer even that which
could be of any concern there is nothing that is lost there are no traces there is no mark,
disciplinary schematic implodes as this incessant death of art, explodes this pressentiment
concerning these all too eradicated contours references these all depart away these are not
even this this space traverses surface dancing dancing rummaging around here there seek
to find to discover to invent to be blown away by that which incites surprise lust joy
unique singular this this only that this is that which is this here here here now and then
there would will never be this time again this is not that which one can repeat it is not so
simple it is terror blind incessant horror terror chaos fluxile proliferations this this only this
that which stands shatters engulfing each into each this sending this pushing along outside
this immediacythis this freedom wake this overwhelming presence holding onto life torn
thread
differentiating criteria decision of strength sickness breeds deep in this soul as every
51
to here knows when
possibility becomes this most ominous reality as this world becomes sheer terror will to
she asked me to play pool... i said yes she smiled 'we' gathered these
appropriate instruments & made ready... i played she played... play play play... 'we' did not
finish as she was called away by time... this coxswain beats its gavel up this stump from up
high... cuts this ratio... she had to prostitute herself once again as i would in this morning
to be... this glorious morning... this morning glory.... thirty grams via petroleum ether &
wood alcohol... collect resin, ingest.... see it for what it is.... a bunch of shit... now he is
dead .... he has left us alone without him... anyway... it probably does not matter but it
nevertheless tingles... no one wants to be left in this lurch lerch.... nevermind..... someone
my age....
orchestration
architectonic
o r d e r
excession
eternity
one implodes
f u t i l i t y........... n(x+&)
death
festival
52
to here knows when
eternal incurrence of joyous ec-static drift
bestows witness
sameness
chance
fatality
it will endure
this horde bargaining away this eternity for a few shiny trinkets of a problematic
reason logic order unity out around within inside between each everyone this sickening
stench bleeds its poison vapid insipid fatuous banality.... hell buddy... you haven't herd
that word in so long because that is what you are what you have become.... you are
nothing but an extortionist... a pimp corraling your herd of whores so you can get your
crack...
a manager of property... oh boy!!! more than that... much much more... slaves sucking these
entrails of blind slaves.... this faulty transparent theater cruelty deceit festers ridiculous
metastatic paranoia self blind vermin dances chaotically at your door this artifice faulty
exposed shattered
53
to here knows when
witnessed apprehended exposed as performance
infiltrating infects executes decay perpetrates amidst flowering young eternities this that
miserable will always request your company as you also become a vile mire of misery...
you may then try to meet my acquaintance i of course will speak to you of your banality
insist that you stay the hell away from my intersperses being as is already always there you
your pathetic foolish herdopins your needy weakness your pathology lies to me to
everyone it is all so very obvious to everyone but you... go kill yourself, why don't ya?!!!
maybe you are the herd projecting manipulate discriminate control ... what do you even
mean??? you fail to articulate any sense anymore ... idiot ... words shit what difference...
none .. she wants an explanation... she writes that she deserves one... i do not even know
her... only that she seems used to getting her way... getting what she wants.... her instinct
of instant gratification projects its net across this material... this new morsel.... oh well.....
not this time.... a dream comes shows what is what..... another prison.... another
invasion.... all i remember is eating out her asshole as my fist plunges into her cunt... she
moans writes to me that she masturbates just thinking of it... thinking of being with me
incites her into sexual frenzy
if we eliminate you then all will be well in this space ... constipated logic.... seeks to expell...
bust loose... break out... shoot it alll.... get rid of it.... loosen it up... softens destroys
eliminates .... smiles when finished.... breathes a massive sigh of relief... sees this sunrise...
what about me? why do you not suspect that I also will not disturb the tranquil
pleasantness of your gentle valley? who are you... i do not recognize who and what you
54
to here knows when
are..... like this is some kinda profound distinction... it could not matter for this is all absurd
pretentious shit... all of it... banal posturing just to let it all sink in ,,,, taking up some space
to make this decrepid self feel that space opens & light shines.,... stup[iod ss ridiculous.... it
is ugly the toad slips between out... the dog runs away in its hopeless insecurity... what
would it matter... it is me here nonetheless you see that i am standing here with you there
are three of us now persisting amidst this space of singular exertion fractures teem
proximate presence characterized through durability presence it is me the third this 'it'
which you call out is me as well it is just me one you have known for some time witness to
be a decent one amidst these others this turbulant discordant dwelling... what in the hell
does any of this even suggest... see you there do not know who you are do not trust you in
that you do not trust anyone within your midst this space of confinement containment
assimilation homogenization exclusion indoctrination docilization this is you your truth ....
but this other one is turned away seeking to caress her shape with its eyes... tasting this
other through vicarious wind patterns.... snow falls onto her breasts exciting inciting her
perky nipples to rise amidst this crescendo of ascension..... falling very fast
what truth is this you foolish impish shit ridden parasite? And who & what do you
think you are addressing with your festering ///////plots & schemes constituted merely of
lies distortion omission psychological violence? Remember for once your place within this
opening ..... trying to break this monotonopus absurd interchange ... break it up...
destroy... shatter.... leave not a trace for anyone to smelll.... a little spider hangs upside
down in its twisted web.... nothing ever gets trapped in the web... it just sits hanging
upside down... finally it retreats into a corner & dies... a few days later a similar looking
one comes ... makes a web... hangs upside down... a few weeks later... it dies.... & again....
55
to here knows when
what the fuck???
I speak out back at you as if you were a demon erupting in my soul, one to be dispelled
with the proper dosage of cheap french wine, marijuana, & tobacco... but then you sound
like an old man who may just need an enema... or a dose of metamucil to scrape the
but of what/?? what is this number where is this pleasant valley... what is the point of
which stands rhymically there away beyond so intimate that you scream this escape this
flight this enactment implodes awareness kills this opening for just another day.... there
document this most uninteresting foolish hideous of lives... just throw anything out there
just to have it out there.... well who in the fuck gives a shit anyway.......... who in the fuck
gives two rats assess and a opile of little leaves all bound togerthetr .... can't even spell
dicken's excreted from a dark sinister memory.... shit out of these fingers..... this sterile elec
tric dance....
But it isn't that way at all, this is strictly a political assertion based in a terrestrially
articulated site, you cannot simply think that physiology can explain everything, it is
simply an aspect of this fractured space... where in the fuck did that come from?????/ this is
56
to here knows when
simply ludicrous absurd would be too noble of a word to describe rancid dog entrails
slushing together with old decayed boxes & rodent shit.... a bird shat in my hair... i rubbed
& rubbed & rubbed until it became one with my being.... my pores sopped it all up
thirstily.... oh joy....
no one can claim that 'we' are discrete singularities without sacretizing the space of
a now time of immediacy this present opening amidst the darkest horizon of oblivion.....
yes... but what is your point... are you just so stiff as to turn everything you touch into gall
stones... why must everything be embalmed wrapped up with mummy mummy wrap...
why must you take everything out of play by painting with snot... glazing it all over........
stiff stifff ssissiissisi fuck fuck go to hell tree falls supple leaves reach to catch lays
this space is sacred your criticisms of me are based essentially in a perverse shocking
blasphemy... blasphemy>??? how can you wish to reinsert this sickening enforcement....
you have never given up your logic you vindictive cruelty you lying murderous banality.......
you wear this as a mask to hide your hatred of laughter & love.... of anything else that is
outside of your control...... that is why you are so loud & inconsiderate... you have no
regard for the other even as this is the only word that excretes from your mouth.......
But who are you the one that is the fourth? Who are you, please justify your existence...
are you still at this pretentious unfolding outflowing disintegrative proliferative threshing
tall wheat chewing on these grains... pondering over this this this,,,,,, nndheysgsapcome
now, out with it, we do not have all day... just erased a whole bunch a whole
bunch........... out with it out with it we don't have all day you cretin not all day....... who is
my friend have you not learned anything through your intercourse with the ways
& workings of the world... have you not seen what is so shockingly immediate this most
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familair that which happens right before your eyes have you no sense at all... what are
you some kind of wiseman????? what a bunch of hotair rhetoric ways & workings of this
world... ooohhh boy ,... like you have a clue at all..... & who is this to say that i don't....
this entire writing is just a bunch of shit... is it not...... it is interesting that this judgment
has been made concerning this writing..... who is that who jusst wrote that.... what is
sought is to exude a feeling an intimation amidst streams shock send... a sound conveys
de facto... existence is turning in its intimate churning destruction creation .... there can be
no justice nor can there be legitimacy.... all happens all will happen only the tragic will
render it problematic but in the end tragedy will provoke laughter in its impotent blind
refusal of this eruption this time.... oh boy this old dichotomy once again...... let us just
hope not to keep redeploying it... or worse to find a space inbetween that feeds on both...
the singular event opening joyous freedom in that it is singular this is all that needs to
be written.....
But wait wait my friends do not leave it just as this do not suggest in such a
collective manner through your.... defacing breaking just doing something else here
because it don't matter anyway .... it is the same .... red red red blue lbue dre red
blue,,,,,kijmjikjmij heydgs ,,, listening to the rhythm of the keys the keys no apparent time
no time,,, just this rhythm do not even have to make any sense could just decscendnehdnhn
trjdkl]fmfmggm,ffgkf
ffkdhhdhehhheydd hkytyyyy
khhtkvvf silence that this can be all that there is there must be something other than this
docnikkyihhtrine of radical singularity... what gkflgkthe hell is that where did that even
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come from who aRE THESE who are making decisions what is this all about it is it
anything or simply arbitrary ... is this just an attempt to cover up white with blackened
there must be something since it is just a big conspiracy, orchestrated from a long
time ago, could it be, would this be a real possibility in the midst of what seems to be
amidst this reckless surge?.... she wants to sit there yet there is no where to sit.... she
passes on for there are no pastries which she fancies, none which catch her eyes....
pure phusicality...
Who cares?
You are blasphemous & you simply will not admit it in your melancholic nihilism... I am
the fifth... his sphincter could have cracked a walnut... & you have spoken already... the
game is up... we already know that you have spoken under the heading of a different
number & now your trying to duplicate your effect intensify if you will... stop your sermon
boy shut your fuckin' mouth.... of someone will drive a stake through you heart....
go back to your herd of whores you sickening filthy religious asshole nut before i chop
off your cock & shove it up your ass.... i am the sixth.... but are you not tasteless violent
uncompassionate with your threats.... are you not aware that this one has feelings too???
now settle down.... now go over... now come back here... go over & apologize... say you
take it back... saY IT say it say it... now go over there now come back come back.... now
put down that knife... put it down.... go away... stop right now... put down the knifee put it
a technical crew to come in & clean up the mess that was just made...... it would seem that
this one indulges in this suggestiveness of violence for it he she or who what ever suffers
from an extreme form of mental disturbance..... it would seem that this one seeks to get
59
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into the head of this one who judges in order to render its his her whatever's suggestions
implausible dangerous to quarantee these... it would seem that this one wishes to dismiss
that other one while not necessarily embracing that other's explicitly ... it would seem that
this is all just a bunch of shit....... bad writing.... worthless.... yet this writes this but it feels
that it is at least worth the write.... this one too is complicit & i as welll.... it doe snot seem
to matter....... a bird flew through the air landed on a bush... another sentence to
you are certainly correct it is now certain that you have spoken as not so many pools
of vomit you have told me what one needed here, not, of course, what I wanted to hear, it
certainly could have been a better prognostication of the present prevailing terrain of these
... trying to salvage it by filling it in so much that what seems weak is obliterated
under piles & piles of shit........ little by little it will be erased something else entirly will
blossom forth as we all share in this harmonic convergence of infinite moral progress....
blue green black red door shines open there table leg board fan thrust swift deer jets runs
away ....
this is it ... the radio station programs are designed for me me me just me
alone they play songs so that I am continuously implicated in a structure..... has not
everyone become sick & tired of this word... why then must you insist on writing it again
agina again again & again..... is it even of sense ... this tree assembles its roots together into
a braid to appear more fashionable... yet deep down it senses its own insecurity.... it is not
like the other girls... of surveillance guilt shame cast upon me as assertive enforcement of
this entire community herdile audience... after that sun explodes in five billion years who
gives a fuck any way... but then... well you forget... this contagion will certainly have
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spread... at least by then... thus in this way... well it will ... matter... do you think?...
.......included amongst these are listed supporters....listening all know who & what I am,
they all know everything that I have done, all has been detected, it is all right before their
eyes, they know everything about me, I live in a glass house, I have thrown stones, these
deploy this glance information perfect transparency, as did the gods of greece, to destroy
my life, my existence without a trace... they read my mind see into my glass bathroom bed
bed sheets sheer finely knit stockings from portugual ,,.... it is all a huge orchestration to
destroy me alone there is no one else but the executioner, there is no one else besides... [he
falls to his knees beating his lacerated forehead blood drains & cakes in his hair, chants
seethes breath, 'Only execution, nothing else besides, only execution, nothing else besides,'
he jumps up and runs counterclockwise around an oval dirt track, beats his head, around &
you my poor dear deluded fool are conflating the inexorbility of death, through
anxiety, with the presence of the other, in some cases, a seeming inexorabilty... don't you
gittet?
can one love another once one senses feels apprehends this tenuous exterminating flux
how many times can one set onself up for this fallfrom.... certainly not from grace...
it is like that other one who always said in that dramatic way of his.... he was so cute
when he would act so solemn & serious... you know that look he would get... his nose
would crinkle... he would take that deep breath... spit it out... there is no middle course.....
oh he was so neato... so fab.... such a totally awesome dude from dudedom.... riding on
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their backs hanging ten for ten days... shaking the world.... it is all
forgotten.... something else has taken this space... it always does.. will... i yawn because i
am tired... a long day... so what???..... welcome to this club... just remember to pay your
dues... i write for you... isn't that sweet? These words are simply excretions
from amidst this tThe culture of 'fun' and frivolous caprice, & these snarls should be
contained in schoolyards, in a site amidst which it would be more apt, and less of an
He Sucked It
He Confesses
I Would Fuck It
this forces you sucks you dry this cascades amidst you to seek you to succomb
lose yourself in this game..... forever..... the breaking a play characters wild
synopsis: wild being runs laughs skips over about aross the stage playfully slaps
domesticated being musses his hair runs over gooses the women who frown ... wild
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domesticated being has come there for a reason... he wishes to speak with wild being, I
to I, yet this seems to be virtually impossible as wild being dances about without a
brutally beats wild being into subjugation, ties it up in a wooden chair and begins to
question it...
domesticated being: do you not wish to have a beautiful woman, a lover to hold close to
you... and how could you... you do not bathe, you have no manners, no wardrobe...
wild being: mocking the domesticated being, smiles as if looking into a camera... i got
tired of the bar scene... and those expensive sex lines... well i settled this... i went out and
domesticated being: at first his veil of etiquette falls... but did you not have to train it fir-
s-- Not in front of the ladies, for gods sake you obscene animal!!! Not even in front of
after long questioning wild being is released limps off stage crying mutilated...
domesticated being, taking a woman on each arm, walks off stage right announcing,
'Our business is finished here, shall we!' the women stare adoringly at this genteel sir,
exit....
this these their constant repetitions reaffirmations after reaffirmations this hideous
virulent logical rape of this vital energy, this terrorism of confinement, subjection,
... writing to her again ... making to this space of old .... she comes up.... she lay there
across white barrier surface asserting by presence separation implies some connection
although none projecting..... a scenario nothing there here there here across beyond surface
in there over there inside there sitting here over here inside here forever here eclipses into
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simply eclipse want to hold this one feel here this one this only one for now...
name listener supplanter light fallen scene fractures in our my eyes disist
he hung there
nailed to a tree
screaming out that the river knew not what it did does is
ultimately contingent
amidst feeling
without cause
he walked up to the river placing his royal golden toe amidst streaming white water
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caresses tickle splash waterdrops cascades this ankle
walking slowly towards this river calling out to sophia sophia falls into this river explodes
river maintains these intermixing different currents tendencies power gathering separating
the river is a hydro-electric plant as he covers his eyes to this one who has built a
this river surges as pure concentrated light of this other's chest he explodes into an infinity
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they sit bottom page giving instructions displaying effective affective criterion reality
within domain of position line page(s) document ... dead space bleeds yellow on gray
manifold
seeing it all out there right there.... especially now that spring has arrived.... frantic gnaws
scrape away teeth erode clench relative chemical imbalance soft fresh breezes visit pass
beyond upon into above within vegetable stand standing there behind stand sell bargain
vegetables work peddles sun ripened fruit walk along towards ahead in vision subtle
glances quiet turn head grasps hand see eyes walk together immerse teleological journey
walk anywhere up down over across inside this place this place where everything happens
just now present stand grasp tear off pull reposition feel grasp rub massage suck descend
down lick swallow beat drub thrash whip suck across eat among within over under suck
reach that point this place suck eat tug tease eat it up amidst suck down hardy swallows... i
was wondering when your birth day was is will be.....i want to get you a present..... at least
Yet, the most essential question leading to the ground laying of the entire scientific
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project is the following: is it in fact the case, as we have witnessed in so many of the
contemporary debates and controversies, I mean, as we have seen so many times in all
places all around, I mean, how can we say that we have progressed at all when this
by means of this utter projection of quantity, the real true reason that all of us
subscribe to the very wonderful playful land to the south of the ice cream pink fuzzy
thunder crumbles static smog lightning sky thick swirls rush there just is no more
interaction no more looking at your face feeling your presence in the midst of this fragile
eternity it is so impressive this extent of its voraciousness an angel just came into my midst
i am was transfigured that break was a matter of confidentiality in this anonym face of
but let us talk about what really matters those these things which drift endures
amidst fractures rupture dispersion that which is really important as all those who believe
do you not sound too harsh in your words when you speak of the world as mortality
please i beg you give up your despair at once enjoy this eternity which is now now this
here in this moment this only time you we have here together & apart why do you not
answer me why do you just stare away enframe yourself as to not see me why do you look
why do you not aknowledge me i am here it is me right here in front of amidst you you do
you not see me see me here in front of you do you not hear me feel me do you feel my
breath against your skin my caressing breath do you not feel my care my lick touch
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do you not see the fresh can of whipped cream & cherry sauce as my tongue gently glides
over amidst among beyond why do you persist in this ignorance of my presence or is this
i will speak to you yet will not look at you as one to a rapist or touch you there is
no reciprocation to one who was never called never answered in that the blind cannot
recognize visually the identity of the other there is no visual reciprocity between this sector
& others which are sighted... why do you write like you have a stick thrust up your ass???...
answered no you the one that is other one who stands here against over there in front of
me but not amidst me you will obey my lack of openness i will not listen to you although i
have felt your disturbing oscillations i would only ask you simply to withdraw from that
you coldly say that i cannot know you... since you can't ... you wish to build a defense
against me... since you are vermin... to make me into an object a stable secure dangerous
thing reserve... why would i wish to save you? don't flatter yourself... i would rather flush
you away... one which you can calculate manipulate orchestrate control but my actions
lead you to believe such there only the deed for you ... get off it demon boy paranoid
stand away from me now you have ceased to articulate meaning you cannot
convince me to love you your violence does not seduce me your evil is not my own one
must face lively death-bound sending there is a time to die a very specific one there is no
projects out into everlast this eternity whispers to rush winds sickness other grips me
consult this oracle to flee my fate i cannot even write anymore because i feel sick with this
she speaks as a child speaks, i know so many people who have been helped by them
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by them by them they are now nice pleasant & docile docile docile docile docile docile
if you really think about it, objective science governs strict rules logical observation
surveillence... that weird word again... discipline control virtues which everyman holds
dear to his heart much more of these latter there these virtues consider this from that
which is manifest statistically calculate that which is normal that which is perverse assign
those others to those categories which do apply to them of course not everybody since
everyone is not required to subject themselves to a sustained deep inquiry or at least not
yet... 'we' do have market research at least.... this would be that only true way to weed out
from our population those undesireables who do not function within our precise techno-
terrestria-policia-economic matrix
even if you understand professionally that this is a forensic document, you still play this
ressentiment - (as He so often babbles) for you could not possibly state that which you say
concerns your self your body dissent becomes medical does it not after all my dearest
friend... you have the right to remain silent during your body cavity search... hey mommie i
found a red one!!! oooooohhhhhh bbboooooyyyy ..... all the way from an underground
oh NO! kangaroos...
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there is no dissent only disease
standpoint of questioning
...//. questioning itself based within this real as it must be you seek to detain/obliterate my
questionable questioning it can only serve to disturb me like so many engulfing dreams
will not talk to you in your profane state of (p)res(s)entiment he whispers to his friend......
you are certainly not a strong advocate of dialogue your respect of alterity seems to be
amidst discordant conflict with your assetion of the phenomenologically manifest singular
divinity
if ever realize that dia- does not me 'two,' 'to,' or 'too,' you will mercifully rethink that
which what how why you live your life is all about around you will finally learn what is
really going on all about you in your midst
it revolts against its sexuality minutes after intense sexual inter-subjective transgression ....
yet once again this may be to the heroin suppositories... no one can be completely certain...
crisiscrisisvcrisiscrisuisacrisius;kjhgf0o785uldcv']
-9p8cvdu[0'6ty;'/
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those of you those who are not like me
those who can still as yet be surprised if not to sound clichish reified or naive fool walks in
if that is you really stare the horror in the face lay dying h--o-r--r--o--ra.... - - t--h-e h-o-a-r--
o-r-a .... it is such a lovely joy to be in the confines of such a beautifully self-reflective
nobility... please do not welter back in prudish self assurance... you can not... you soulo is
there is no horror
only joyous creativity there is only this everywhere please do not try to drown me out in
all of your incessant suffocating nihilistic babble there is something we must speak about
concerning that which we must address with seriousness a rather simple thing the simple
thing of this *
there is no understanding of that which speaks merely in metaphor there is
simply assertion
no it is scarificial affirmation
but you are not innocent the violence violence violence the p-a-i-n the p-a-i-n the p-a-i-n....
think about it
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why do you seek always to question
to insist on some kind of subjective discontinuity why must sex be a crisis a battle
hegemonic dominion limit situation ultimate double bind this is only there if you believe
breaking this law is impotent revolt throwing shit on this face this god only with laughter
at this law (together with this injunction that if you don't laugh, you don't get laid!!!) does
there erupt joy... law is simply afterthought interpretation dealing with this primal thrust if
one conceives of transgressive actions vis=a=vis laws to be destroyed one has exhibitied
this breaking of law tables redeems these laws... spiritualizes these.... shoots arrows
field on the way down... there is yet a perspe3ctive which has not been caused to
come to presence this is titillating opening this ths here now this with eyes closed exalt
these heights of ecstatitic rapture here amidst this sends happening apprehend this
pain of this burn intense surges into nothing this pain throbs on as it is not merely
superficial that is a chance i have to take break i go along because i am lazy i go along
because of you four people were killed & nine wounded in that blast we just saw eruption
this opens happen streams here everything else is de facto reactive secondary derivative
there not here this utter shoot out off-white milk sends oout across this bolts caress even
this rad sinding cat in this hat on this mat this blind strives discord leaks irrupton just since
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must 'we' it he she they you her that deny this attempts to seduce me away
your tactics will not work, your stratgic 'object'ives will not realize..... & you will not
get laid!!!
it may be prudent of even such a joke as this to ignor but you are simply a
mindless impotent fool with no possibility at all, you are as this dead but simply more
it is always so fucking easy to shit out project these lables these inferior violent
shortcuts fuck it all to the utter depths of eternal fire why do you not just say something
it is all violence
maybe there is something other besides these hives enforce idiocy maybe this
my dearest one
golden flower
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love this i feel
beckon you
i love you
i cannot refrain
only time
i love you
i expect no response
no reciprocation
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to here knows when
i wish only to tell you
i love you
joyous
eternal
secret
at this point it does not matter, really, i mean really, it concerns these simple involvements
my action it is simply this nothing else at all i will not do that alcohol is just like absinthe
she would regurgitate this allegory it is not exactly clear why this is being done as it is
always being done as if this being done has already always been done merely replayed
this not the case at all there is no fundamental chaos there could not be this
there is only willful action this will is mad spaces o/f madness closes suffocation
man with a white shirt upon his torso runs maddly at this camera, yells, 'Penguin dust,
bring me penguin dust!' Suddenly, a long haired preacher begins to preach at this
screaming herd assembled for this most important January event.... they chant out the
name of their object of fetish... FETUS! FETUS! FETUS!... the chanting becomes louder,
louder... deafens... this preacher spits out shit... chanting louder... FETUS! FETUS! FETUS!
... SUDDENLY conjured via this necromantic incantation... every fetus that was ever
vacuumed out rises... RISE! RISE! RISE!... EACH & all gurgles out FEED US! FEED US!
FEED US!... FETUS! FETUS! FETUS!... THE FETUSES WHIRL... a cloud of locust...
descend... FEED US! FEED US! FEED US!... FETUS! FETUS! FETUS!... ALL at once the
fetuses attack this asembled herd... stick to their necks arms faces hair... eat this throng of
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to here knows when
this ambiguous terrain of cultural, here, global, 'social,' interaction... all & each of these
labels display nonsense... fuck you poser asshole opportunist mediator! You know what is
really weird? I am totally crazy, mad... it does not matter in this least as you continue to
read and read, eat a donut, rub your eyes, take a sip of that by-now cold coffee, look at this
page, say to yourself that it is not worth your precious, this only time, this only chance that
you have to live & be enjoy this now witness these faces of these loveones bestowed upon
you, these people love you!!!... how could each these not? Are you listening close enough,
do you come through my power lines? I hope not and I hope so....
the least
yet it does matter it is there keyboards look amidst surface these loooking
disdaining parliament representing nothing in this illicit whorehouse orgayof shit andf
blood
it is alllthe same
timid trained sickening dogs stay away this is not for you it will never be for
you the only time this could ever be for you would be the non-time annihilation of this all
all of this thus it will never be your time it cannot even in its nightmarish abstract there
there it is there obviously you fuck you stay the fuck away from this from me you are
cursed with this inscription of the cross the mark that sustains your lying banality your
GO(O)D
hatred showers upon urgency you are death to me those like me those spinning
in awful enchantment
the only freshness left amidst this lying distorted stench beautytruthgood running wild in
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to here knows when
the night breathe in darkness run wild with these happy dogs children of this night...
music... only ones let them be letting them run risk this all for now risk against deferral
[infinite] deferral for that which can be taken from this present that is this moment this
time in which it only makes sense to live not to give it all up for rancid sickening shit of an
other time feeling casting moonlight glimspe path of this night hidden night relief from all
oppressive surveillance of light it is not for you to tell me anything it is not for you to
not to ultimately lose me you do not have me you never did you never will have me know
me it is not that way at all all there is is to run with me in the night destroy your sickening
filth from my skin your grasp hold on me your insecurity your desire for the same saem
smae of this daylight see all know all seek to reveal coerce this my perceived vulnerability
thus you can have me possess me fuck you for just as quickly you become my slave
fuck you i do not want you i do not need you you are merely shit in my eyes
disease ridden shit infest me my being with your apprehension defiling cowardice mere
it is all just there limitless expanse dead weight dismal hours drift clouds long
mourns wakefulness wish surges past through among amidst power drives into within
outside
absent intimidation threats exclusion
i would rather not even be around you anyway do not try to understand me do not
ask about my history do not recommend therapy stop!!! in this name of love, before you
break my heart-- projecting your own ignorance onto me, i do not need your little opiates,
your silly intoxications, fuck you fuck you i wish that you would just die, you talk to me
about your needs your need for me to be like you, your tradition, your beliefs, your
projective power, your assertion, your brand of fear, of chaos, your label nameccalls you
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to here knows when
call me evil, evil, but, this way intrigues, limitless capacity for self affliction as that one
cannot break out of discipline of mores refusal clarity utter clarity in this moment deadly
wakefulness of this moment of realization this time of eternity, surges joy within lovely
lust, this time grasping tickling sucking fucking licking time this time that excludes
memory forgetfulness spurns on thrust forth through utter wakeful remembrance of this
it is no way a transgression in this site of lawlessnes site of all site of life place of
time of moment time in which there is movement touch taste smell drinking you down
it is all here right now you & me just you & me despite all else despite all else despite all
else it is not even a matter of an absurd festival to relieve that raging tension of discipline
there is only now only now only now here is nothing else fuck those children they will
come nevertheless dealt with amidst this situation of freedom by freedom alone i want to
continue to tickle your legs your face breathes sucking you caress you fuck you until light
this bird shall not lure you away with its siren calls fuck that other who has
imprisoned you fuck all those others who have kept you imprisioned captivate your body
via your soul
do not deferr your one only time of life it is all now it is here never there there is
only here now do not miss your one & only chance at life you will NOT get - will get no
other eternity this only happens once for you this fruit of a sublime riddle this is the
goal it tastes like car exhaust... can you stay sane.... this legal... disciplinary
projection...
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to here knows when
i guess it is time to change this music
i will never be able to express this not in words it does not matter to me any longer what
those foul smelling walking dead have going on in their midst their mere proper burial
would matter least for there is only now there is only this time to be joyous amidst
eternity
i love my little doggie who runs amidst swirls chaotic breezes throughout engulfing
night this moment of eternity it does not matter in the least at all who cares in the fuck
anyway net effect same only cruelty failure to wake in this midst of darkness darkness of
oppressive lightness failure to wake into darkness joy this time of eternity now joy in this
wake of evil from behind its caricature erupts from mutilation this joy...
a singular 'evil' opening possibility traverses between beyond falls through these
cracks fabric shatters on this other side of reference as such in their strangeness they all fear
fear to risk life in this midst, their utter forgetfulness of death bringing it all together
fear of risk forgetfulness of that utterness of death spoonfed their belief in this
unreality of death extorts bribes to forget death through recollection endure this
disciplinary lie of homogenized convenience... so the disciplinarians [[[[[[this estado unito
press chants for war as an excremental mob screams chokes out this desperate banal
violent encouragement for this small girl to jump out down from that ledge right up
there]]]]]]] can witness this joy of eternity... it is however always spoilt always there in
struggle for its position... flies swatting flies homogenized 'its' never experience
untainted immediate unsheathed joy which has not already always been transgressed &
must necessarily be so in that this exalted position is based on the backs of these who those
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banal disciplinarians would like to forget, this truth of themselves, as this life is only a
prelude to the paradise that is to come.... what a cynical, insideous betrayal!!!!!! or is it just
bad art, life, that stream passes as this fictional fixed subject fixates perdures endures raped
into self consciousnes that surveillance... that word again... which needs no enforcement
the hell on earth the utter sickness penetrating this joy encapsulates from within
that distorted forgetfulness of the inexorable repose of being the death that is final this life
that is now is forgotten forfeits into that lightness of being the vomit of complacency the
rape rape rape rape rape of the one & only chance this gift that is never opened for fear of
joy a fear wrapped up in the insideous discipline of fairy tales it is only NOW that you live
have this chance to be what you are do not give this away my friends who cares about all
maybe these animals are way far ahead of us already possibly these simply feel this
immanence of departure live only now time is now to live & be each chews it cud joyously
death a forgone conclusion maybe precisely the animal does not forget this lesson
yet this herd smiles as it cannot forsee its own death this death of common sense
loathing this small one fly shit it holds sway surveils** tenuous eruption stamp guilt slash
mark burn of treason you me he she it them us disperses clawing fever breezes sharp
winds carve cut spit out this chew it up first bacteria joy event
eternity this riddle of recurrence for that which can occur only once
this end history coughs clotty blood smiles time perhaps these animals
think that we are inferior or possibly this applies not to these at all these which dance this
eruption worry not of hierarchies labels pretty little profoundly packaged inscriptions
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to here knows when
playgrounds of delight as the time has shown to those who apprehend
civilization is not any different from that death... this forces birth inexorably
passes throughout
maybe it is a disciplinary death a death which forbears forbids this assertion of singular
eternity..... a secret....
for it was well known that this 'they' never does die .... or at least this was
the myth.... one certaintly knows possibility..... life itself will die... each all everyone ......
death is the regular state... all returns to this silent dance of these still orbs...... but what
kind of shit myth is this... another one just like the rest... like anyone has any clue at all... in
darkness falls on this little town as these people go off nod to their slumber
trnasmitting each to its arrival of this new day these many drift off away dancing falling
swirling about this supple fluid vortex contours pathways horizons openings casting
glance mixtures dances complex implodes erased trace remains pulsating explodes
displacing darkness haunts this night those holes horizons surging light fire on this other
side fire engulf this opening this happening these have all run away concealing themselves
from this hungry gaze hiding beyond mist of rain hovering there subtle chaos swirls
remorse commitment tragic futile comic committment of nothing to which you cling i love
you i love you i love you i can never have you i can never have you yet i wish to be with
you just once at least before it all departs gone face fleet tenuous streams nothingness
we have only now only now only now & now & now & now & now & now & wno
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i am evil i am evil i am evil i am evil she says but evil in an intriguing way he wishes
decrees attempts fumbling in his drunken red faced stupor to command this other has seen
with his own eyes lies across carpet conjuring possibilities guarding his jealousy for now
cannot possibly execute this force does not stir for it could not care less it would rather get
its act together get itself together get off this foolish deconstructionist hypnotic trip to
disintegration dispersion chaos confusion it is the time for community & love................ &
dancing.............
this wind is coming up it is time for another storm ... let us go outside & run
with these there amidst this each welling tickling caresses transfiguring winds.... these
branches of one of this only disiduous probably spells wrong but who cares anyway these
branches sway wildly in this onslaught lightening blind across this these gray pink black
horizons .... this insightful, intimate feeling of your own self, your own body
will only be a midwife of your life brings forth this birth of your
freedom your all too tenuous freedom a freedom a departure into space this pulsates
fractured sameness eternity now i will not have you i will never possess you
always a midwife never a wife it could not be stated or written what he wishes to
there is no law there is no law there is no law there is only this traversing search for
nothingness presence streams
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxx i must assert this eternity of which i am this presence that is dispersion amidst joy of
moment of time which i have to be amidst your utter caress love i love you so much this is
this only time in which i can tell you this this only chance that i have i want you to know
this i will not let it remain unspoken for i love you i love you i am sick with grief remorse at
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this thought that you will never know this is our only time our only time to be
this is it
eternity
i cry wretch at the this thought this overwhelming feeling that it will never be that i will
never let it be that i will remain in my distance away from you never let this be for i love
you i love you i love you but probably will leave you for it seems always too intense to see
that darkness of inevitability it will tear everything to shreds... the flash... image darkness
large building on sloping hill many windows bridge traverse swirling gray brown water
cold swims through across losing shoes... associates this face... a woman... in her forties...
yet this is not this one this one who sets across distant beyond away amidst her abstract
i have no other chance to be to speak to love to enchant you into this love which i feel
for you golden streams amber red glissen midst this love joy death all these writings do
not matter if these do not strike a chord amidst this time which is now this only time there
is fleeting tenuous presence it is all over now or at least it must be over as it always seems
it must appear to be such it states that if such things have happened that one would feel a
sense of exclusion that silence engulfs my pale shitridden corpse sits here beats these
plastic keys for no fucking good reason no good reason at all as a matter of fact i hate this
fucking shit this worthless mindless pre-programmed bullshit i hate it all satisfaction is the
word thrown down my mouth throat a stinking bloody sore drips disease infects fly
infested puss spews horse cock rammed down within suffocates kill me already always
absorbs me within its jagged chaotic nexus only thing i can do is bite this horse cock off,
it lets me shield
from my eyes
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the abyss, she whispers
your grasp touch smell taste is it not that you are somehow dead dead to me within this
presence of absence memory imagination you are away gone sporadic rhythmic pulsation
you are coming but somehow i do not care in the least it is merely a vague obligation one
out & around & about with another perhaps speak of your hideousness my
not even that perhaps even less hopefully at least silence grips clutches my throat
chokes convulsive throw aside move on out away beyond that which was this here
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`````````````````````` an older widow trying to seduce this one step by step into all of
this .... how sweet... she does not even know what pandora's box she is seducing..... yet let
it is a stinking rotten mother fucking bastard but will it happen no one can know at
this point but physically at least it is a distinct yet nebulous possibility passing forgotten
glance eclipsed into the physiological it does not even matter if i write this shit this thing as
she says sitting croutching there leave us alone i am not connected i am cranky well try if
you will it is all the same & it is not even a matter if you so desire at this point it is
transfigured all of it even if it is all a lie it is all present & that is the truth she runs out to do
something only she could do with someone only she knows but she lives & is joyful & i
love her nevertheless never shall i be that which cannot grasp making secure all exhibits
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SPHJK-SPOthe dog iws not presently here as the c drags al9ong on the screen of the
technic horozon C fuck you i once saw a little boy standing on the corner standing there
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looking around seeming anxious standing there watching him standing there looking
about waiting he was waiting for someone something to come amidst his gaze in my gaze
as i stood watching him he nervously moved about here there another approached
speaking banality irrelevancy as he nervously moved about here there standing watching
waiting as i stood watching waiting for the coming that was his irrelevant as it vented
chaotic artistic projected comedy noone cared in the least as it spouted on & on & on he
stood looking into the time the time that told him what where he was is the distraction did
does not listen it does not hear it cannot will not it does not take you seriously it interprets
difference as a festering disease the little boy grabbed a cigarette inserting it between his
lips sucking drawing the fluid cloud of amorphous particulates inward a door adjacent to
the position opened releasing that which was within love not given lightly distraction does
not diminish the thrust of inarticulate tension she stands panting at what may be possibly
this is just projection blind ridiculous it is almost gone there is no other there is not enough
left but it is late & it should be given up perhaps yet it is only a question of what is there to
be had as it bubbles out grows he looks my way does not seem to be interested at all
throwing down the thing he held in his hand for so long he held it he sucked it he drew it
within it is all just a streaming disjointed frenzy a grasping a foolish gnawing at something
which is nothing at all there is only the little boy grasping waiting hoping dreaming of the
time that will be of the violence everything is just so pretentious even if there is no
grasping beforehand it is foregone always already i love her without reason it is just a
feeling do we not love our arbitrary silly tragic dichotomies he may read it he may not
who in the fuck really gives a rats ass it matters none in the least he came out & joined
joker the authoritarian asshole wrapping itself around a lamppost it is almost gone but
there is always tomorrow & the day after i love her but i do not know why I care for no
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reason i need none no good reason no reason at all suck suck suck lick lick lick it is so nice
& juicy & wet tasting like nothing other it is all here right in front of your fucking face is it
not after this i will descend into the grasping a stroking stroking pulling about up & down
& up & down until it comes about over & over all about & around i do not want all the
love & time to be all gone so i quote randomly it will all be said seen known is it not just a
bunch of shit anyway all a bunch of foolish absurd shit .... now that's honesty....
she sends out her delightful voodoo into this air recalls this inciteful surge whispers
this wind
creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time; & all our
yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life
is but a walking shadow, a poor play that struts & frets his hour upon this stage.
and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound & fury,
signifying nothing...
i am confronted
by myself
walking amidst
my trace
it
is
but there is
nothing necessity
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it is not like amen as it i s as it is & must be my fate is
consigned within the inevitable drift away from here from all of this all around everywhere
it has begun the process she described spurned on by careful questions always at a more
imminent level
levity attempts to break the vice grip that surrounds around & around fear comes to
presence eclipsing forgetful joyful darkness horror shows all comedy to be black the
symptoms have begun.... oh no! not the symptoms! you mean the symptoms? he turned,
stood silently as he stared right into the sun for about fifteen minutes... he turned, smiled
in anguish, yep, ma'am those are the ones.... this is what i feared most a subtle proliferation
of intimate signs..... signs of the time the process had begun as she described it is
happening happening here to this body infliction has beset torn from bliss ridden forgetful
life life so lavishly squandered..... the infliction is no longer at my doorstep it is here & now
within me body the throbbing delirious weakness descending down onto within the bells
the ringing bells... the snot... streams of semen ooze from my pores... yes even the snot
runs down shoots across paints its own abstract expressionist drawling... makes fifty thou'
for each one... won't share... selfish snot... it is all there here the surface burning skin
reddened from the scortching dry hot rhythm it has begun & will annihilate this body very
soon i have prepared a little vain concoction hysterically projecting a solution to this
problem by a mere tea of various herbs it certainly will work it must.... o vanity! o slurpy
shots of jizz! blind damning illusion succumbing drawn on into i t all fall
descends coaxes amidst this vortex impishly seduced across this perverse landscape deeper
& deeper this decadent descent turning low on the wheel of the goddess only to be turned
around always turning around back again to this sublime go odness this shit thrown in the
face of that antithetical reb ounding back shooting arrows at princes this disciplinary
dialectical trap cage maze orchestrating for all to see amidst this vision confirming finally
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the mortality of man who listens to & obeys the god in the wake of temporal implosion
i set it in the garden in the kitchen on the roof all around down up here & there i
catch it i have it i get it out i put it in a cage that i made while it awaited in the trap it was
inside with the food that i gave it the badding i dispersed around i made a dwelling for it
one it had to accept for it danced furiously yet in my cage... despite my forethought my
projection of its requirements its needs its appropriate life it freneticly thrust scurries here
there up shatters scatter fly it did not like its new home back & forth raging this cage... it
mattered less than nothing that i wanted a pet... or did i? it raced around ... the slime
oozing out from your tv set... it is this metaphor which compells... give me your dirty
love... whip me up some dragon lotion... after a spell of time it became quiet retreated hid
beneath a strip of torn newspaper... nasty poodle juice... not a speck of cereal... little curly
head... that's crazy enough to sing to you... i just might have something to say... reagan
before he dies must be hung upsidedown by piano wire slip knotting his ball for all to spit
gracious generous this gentle display of our affection to this frei corps slug... put salt on
him... on his lacerating wounds tears this wire... before he dies... one must not let him
escape... this is it... the truth of this all... don't let it go unrequitted... don't let him escape...
here amidst the zombie world... zombie truth... it could not have been more quiet in its
retreat into concealment... soon it edged over to this spot this weak spot it began to gnaw...
a butterfly dances close to this spider's web... applied rotation to her sugarplum... i poked
& scoped til my wrist got numb... spent three hours not a crumb... a spot that gets me hot
but you ain't been to it... just because the sun won a place in the sky that's no reason i
would not give her a try... pulled on her hair, put her legs in the air, & asked if she had any
kooties down there... buns up kneeling... surrendered into the feeling... kiss my aura... right
here on the floora... someone choking on something... zircon encrusted tweazers... yes i
am... it gnawed & gnawed i could her its razor teeth cut & cut... it could not be any
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different.... it gnawed & gnawed... i woke up from my dreams about a horse just about this
big... i walked slowly to the cage to see my new pet... i could not see it ... i looked &
looked... i opened the cage & pushed around the paper... it was gone... i spied the hole it
had made...
a secre5t is being rleased her5e everyone knows about these sophists and also of
diogenes the cynic who used to masturabate himself amidst this open often in the attempt
honest man... yet philosophy was from an even lower origin... at least from this
perspective of a spir5it hierarchy... all philosophers are bad actors... these do not
themselves display, erupt wisdom, but only have an affinity towards these dispersed
products of singular assertion... is this good art or bad art?... there persists something
deeper than notions such as inter-subjectivity or any other terrestial qua everlasting
this surmounting restoration of appropriateness requires only the simple cost of the
elimination of homo singularia some call this move transcendence .... a going beyond.... a
standing atop able to leap tall buidlings in a single bound... looking from up high
smashing down this gavel..... orgainzing ... disciplining this throng with this knowledge......
i seek to transcend my self because i desire to have something else & in this process i
lose myself
s imultaneously there comes to presence a movement seeking to redress this loss there
a loss a loss of an un-lost self a self that is as a loss of an un-lost self a self that is lost i am
that loss i am lost i am & am lost i am is the same as the loss that i am is a loss of what i
am the most my transcendent self the quest for this transcendent dimension receives
strategic directives from the strug gle to redress this loss but in that my very existence my 'i
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am' is this loss the redression of this loss would imply a threat to my existence my
existence is threatened yet as existin g i am & am lost & if i am found i will no longer be
the lost self or the un-lost self i am a lost self & my existence is threatened since the lost
self must transcend its self as a loss & be found all just a bundle of shit
anyway packed together to show this easter bunny hopping down this bunny trail.... just
don't tell me hitler was a genius... i will not consent..... no matter.... no way.....
they all are there all of them & they have been waiting for y ou for such a long time as you
ascend through oblivion to be this which you have always been once lost but now safe &
sound at home found reborn at home welcomed by those i love those that love me 'we'
together will be gathered together to wait for you also for you have been lost for such a
long time an
` `
presencing limit there limit absent presence limit experience engulfing perspective
orchestration caring as doggie licks the face seeking intimacy concern presence giant rats
penetrating darkness strikes out gaze amidst one pale lovely fleeting glimpse draping
glistening silk swinging jetting there about around turbulent dances send across amongst
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beyond
the one joyous tender outflashing always there there here the one seeking more wishing
kissing thou gently adoring thou eternally wanting only to make love with thou that is all
you tickling across amidst about around grasping succulent massaging discord drinking in
thy presence affirming this now & here this wonderful you gazing shining upon amidst
loving
my fucking parable.... faster than a speeding bullet... one disperses out seeking amidst
fu tility looking for It all time gem always already there right next door but a gem
she just lay there wrapped up in the white blanket the white sheet she wears
white lays down gently eyes closed gaze into this interior approach her gently cautiously
circumspect happening tendencies fabricates conjures before your very eyes always
one already made dispels situation fragile involvement care grieving ritual in the guise of a
support network of friends it is has been will be thus & thus it will not matter in the least
she got her period & now we can fuck like dogs she said to me so gracefully on
the device which records those who seek me out over these telephone lines... & fuck 'we'
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shall over & over in ever new ways fuck fuck fuck fuck but nothing is static she said this
incessantly she is linear dread lurks cast across surges tentacles grasping gripping
gathering discord fractured memories assertions of the scenario that schema rages wish to
decide this fate hold back resist orchestrate this reserve not getting down to it in all of its
eternities there is no necessity in that direction of a problematic yet you assert this problem
you make the problematization project inevitable in all of its ugly disgusting repulsive
excrement shower gracefulness while drown ourselves in our own shit bath of sweet
erases joy as joy there persists a pathetic distance between that excrement of ressentiment
& this ambrosia of this dancing earth to not be vigilant in this regard is a symptomatic
nexus
these confines grasp you into your very soul they have already stole your
mind.... you walk around with horse blinders on thinking that these are a part of your
head.... somebody tries to take them off .... you scream in pain... even start to bleed from
the metal....
but then there is that other this one who can never decide persists in a crude
manipulative yet joyous state of paralysis there in every instant seems to be fractures this
amidst projective involvement decision of eyes movement gestures contours ruptures night
day dancing exploding swirling rushes intertwined holding hard immerse within amidst
this death of time cast away throughout small pathetic rooms never what it seems to be
never what it was said eluded to be it only seems seeming of this indecision this movement
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to here knows when
this stratgeic scenario this which is said commits this which is indeterminate this which is
chaos nihilistic risk this which will consume within narcissisitic vortexes withdraw this is
all to be the case it can be nothing other than this it must be yet it is all so fleeting amidst
there river one sits bank river contemplation amidst see flows other works without
hung nailed tree screams out river torturous death rose gesture act refusal denial forget
exclude select-out act singular contingent saunter river silk gown excellent beauty walks
river royal golden stream white water never twice same step all flux approaches man
respect bows upright flux metaphor grasp c(ha)(osm)os river intermix currents gather
separate same silent nothing food thought river hydro-electric surges river howls
parasites not needing wanting any of these but already always cast within their nets from
one to another despite attempts to subvert these transferences these manipulations grafted
displacement of paradigm amidst this personal death of her god it dies again died for the
first time as the death of the earth death of death as earth dies rises again
defies justice defers inexorable a cat even only has nine lives
he returns into himself with his most prized possession he now possesses
knowledge of death he feels death he intimates this forbodes experience those around him
condemned to utter darkness death he now has gone through this process he has
experienced death since now he lives after that happening thereby capable assimulates this
situation into his new enlightened perspective he thinks long & hard about death
concerned with this experience which he had undergone he had placed himself into this
world so as to die to be reborn as alive to give this world a new beginning... a god on this
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cross.... this suffering god this dying god one to be reborn amidst joy this rosy resurrection
he is just a fool an intentional liar.... god is such an asshole teasing mother fucker....
a liar unawares pathological lying because what is truth anyway? this pathetic lying
absurd performance goes on because it must go on this is certainly that credo of every
committed actor show must go on & so it does go on in this midst of space in which &
with whom we dwell this space gathers appropriatly for this initiation & deferral this
spoken as a question a vigilant question concerns very status of project this performance is
a questioning a questioning & an intimation that there are more questions... more more
yet these must be deferred for these questions repose in fractured heterogeneous
tation you are amidst this game yet it is not your game, not this game to which
you accustom yourselves... Is it such a laugh that I am destined to become fuhrer, she asks
a bad artist... he was a bad leader, a bad prose writer, a simpleton of philosophy, a fool in
war, a wimp in bed, he was this shit that clings to your shoe as you walk through your
neighbors yard.... give us a break, get around some, there are those who don't require
these fixations.... yet he is there i am here... & i already know that i don't want to be
there... i will stay here.... let him stay there.... down wind... ---->it is no surprise now why
this is this directionality it is endemic this performance this art of performing where else
could he possibly turn amidst assault is turned back through gesture that this questioning
places project within a domain alterior to its event not in a sense of an other in any sense of
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this explicit refusal to grasp description terrain without being this gift does not require
if production is to give it must sacrifice this is being if a gift is to be given out of love
non-of-being it need not necessarily entail sacrifice this is alterity this is love... whether or
not there is such a thing may not matter... it may not be a thing at all.... there may be a kiss
a smile a hug an orgasm... a gift for you, one for me, we are all one big happy family... this
is that which is open as sacred as without god as presence lustful of sacrifice for this corpse
is to be consigned to this funeral pyre .... just make sure you bring your fluffy
marshmellows... & maybe even hot cocoa... graham crackers & hershey chocolate bars...
of this term this attacking being move toward desire for an alternative term deconstructed
blah blah blah.... talk yet does not effect change whatever this display this site of
presentation... same old form new & improved content of seduction.... displays non-
violent possibility from before attack an heterogenous field attempt to totalize enemy
being very move towards totalization of friend... the asshole fool who never walked a day
on that outside runs up hystericly swings waves his fingers screams .... you do not
understand.... it is dialectical.... do you not see??? those standing there knee deep in shit
politely smile but quickly turn back to resume this excavation.... one cannot argue against
totality while considering totality as being such as it describes itself totality .... what a
joke... totality... i challenge you to describe one thing to me totally.... even the cubists were
just partial selectors of perspective... i bet you all the money i have that after your
description i could find something beyond your description.,... or coulod deny it all
togetrher... who really gives a fuck anyway.... what does this have to do with anything
important for this sojourn on the planet... get off your word games boy & cvom come out
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to here knows when
to the field with the rest of us... if you don't we will bash in your skull with a shovel, cut
i think of you i love you i will for ever love you... it could not be any
different.... run away from you..... secrets i cannot keep........ plagiarism..... with good
intentions no less...... i see what you do not see...... what a strange situation this is..... very
strange.... it is almost time to go to bed on this military cot.... what a joy.... i laugh at all of
this for this sun will explode..... tomorrow... it will... how could it not..... it is all just
.... this little girl twelve years old helps her sister & brother kill their mother... stab her
sixteen times... that night before they were to be sent to military school..... this awful threat
of a perverse control freak parent.... well good for you guys!!!! at least you got balls... one
cannot totalize an enemy one cannot totalize oneself no us no them but still no 'we' his
point may have been banal {a thought already always thought in certain similar situations,
yet, i have no idea of what those situations are, i only grope in this sudden, mysterious
fogetfulness, well fuck you, & fuck you too... this same melody, this same rhythmn ... what
performance was that of alterity one having only ground of appropriated space amidst this
gathering outside space this gathering announcement transmits preserves assertion of this
other as so other to be ridiculed in this space fractures space a space of fools fooling
keep going on a way you would like i do not really care at all it does not concern my
deepest affirmation
yours to me is simply bad art... bad art... lying incompetent violence... lost in a maze of
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drug induced infantilism.... absurd trip of self importance.... fool ... dirty rotten asshole...
... to be passed by quick lest it rubs off vile stench of your distance from your
assertion a distance that is yours & your ownmost this distance is yours your time is your
own your own temporality & all that may imply for you i do not care inscriptions music
i will now turn it off perplexity mounts amidst these projecting concerns it is not so much
matter contours situation these situations are not that at all situations are not necessary
being being cast out in midst of becoming anxiety of inevitable inexorable yet indefinite
loss patience word even though this is simply a fatigue worn gesture there is no future
no one alive here has yet died... stop... think about this... yet each sacrifices this for
that... so those who come can do this same... everlasting vs. eternity... pay per view...
waiting always being subjugated falling prey to that which never comes never will come it
it cannot be it will not be in its simple pristine possibility wanting the cake & the
eating all in this same presence of absence wanting it all & yet nothing could ever satisfy
this longing projective assertion casting nets trying to take hold of seize that prope
r jurisdiction of bringing this one who remains outstanding into that fold fearing this
subsumption since, they say, he fears being engulfed & devoured by a vagina speaking to
they are correct yet they do not know it these these who know all who can
recite all they know it all yet they do not know it they can not know it for their knowing it
all is rendered open through their utter ignorance of their supreme truth
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to here knows when
she wishes to sleep with him as she calls in her heroin induced state of abyss
it does not even matter in the least for these are not this there here opening amidst
joyous gathering it certainly cannot be amidst this wretched space of weakness & chemicly
i also will do this unto you; i will even appoint over you terror, consumption, & the
burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, & cause sorrow of heart; & ye shall sow your
seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it... this ancient sentiment...
you filthy bitch manipulative piece of rancid shit... but i love you & care about your
welfare even if hate is there too... no i do not mean that at all this is not me this here is
not that which is this presence before you it is not that way it is merely cautious optimism
convalescence... a tin can sealed on top with a coiled copper pipe jetting off away turned
down dripping into a glass... open the can... place in a mash of mugwort... close the can...
light a candle burn underneath... let it drip... repeat until desired quantity is obtained...
drink it... i dare you... she spoke of this & other things .... she always remained silent
of my joy... thus i can hate... yet i will not for this would be merely acquiesence to this
burning resin... i must not allow this to become a permanent feature of the landscape of
my opening... enema-time...
i am too graceful to splash myself with your filth... yet really i am not for it is just a
game... a cyncial game to keep this ridicuylous abvsurd spoace a bit intereasting,.... to keep
bag this fog of boredom... this wedge of forgetfulness... waking up twenty years later a
grandfather... a mortgage ... a wife with crabs & herpes... whistling the theme from the
wheel of forturne... going out to buy her lottery tickets scratching her asshole leaving a big
juicy stain on her big faded flowered nightgown.... i love you for how could i not???????....
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.. .
you shall suffer & die nonetheless with your soul opened up like an oyster in this raging
sun your heart laid bare to be stepped on to be grinded into meal for these pecking
insatiable squawking birds... this shall i do to you... or let you do yourself for this is a
pale shadows dance in my interior eyes fractures mist drags shhots erupts streams
belches out that gruel from this gastro-intestinal paradise we all love jesus & he loves all of
she hovers here tomorrow as far as i know right now she is coming for this
time before this thing has no longer any possibility it is now or never as they say as is this
case present before in the midst anticipate yet not concerned about this approach it can
happen or not with no implication besetting that which is utterly secure in its proper
aspect love fucking her to death.... grabbing her neck tightly between my clasping
hands... she chokes out not to strangle her... i withdraw.... yet this urge is there at this
height of passion.... she must depart for it is not yet there for this time the only time
swinging on a three edged razor tasting loving wishing to consume her drinking down her
gift sucking chewing as she turns over lifting her leg in her turning over lifting it high into
the air presents it to my dancing tongue lips teeth suck chew harder wish it is a time for
utter celebration it is this time now this one single chance amidst oblivion joyously she
shits all over my face moans teeth clenched laughter swallow her joyous ambrosia smear
face hair chest legs laughing dance in this place putting on the play paint in this repose of
utter honesty clarity chew her shit between my teeth dissolves on my tongue she gasps
fucking her pussy with my hand swallow earthy serum spirit nurtured on this sour sweet
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blandness --- ... ____
pulsating
nexus
happening
letting it be letting it guide me thinking it think this gift thankful for this gift surges this gift
that was given in its givenness it is there there for me but who knows maybe also for you
but who knows no one does know one simply knows thinks that one knows repeats this
scenario over & over hypothetical conditional becoming somehow there disclosed in all of
perhaps differentiating criteria there these all too narcissarrogant or is this the very voice of
ressentiment? does resolute this very own self-standing require necessary eradication of
that call of this other one who is there alongside or does this utter realization opening of
singularity
anticipation of death foreclose on this possibility that being-with can be singular maybe
there are no singular differentiating criteria in order to establish a fall from into
will be for me there will be no me there will be nothing else as well for i will not be if i
were now to suggest that there would persist something after my death i would simply be
inserting an imaginal perspective into this happening in which i was not am no longer but
as there nonetheless as a phantom a ghost one who as spectator could observe avow this
continuity of existence this world is there for myself alone this world being there for myself
alone this world is there as my there & mine alone this there of myself is this world this
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one which is mine if i die there is no world of which i am there i must have a world in
order to be this world is there of my possibility world as there happens amidst when how
where why who of other of course i am not a solipsist.... but who cares anyway ... just
another safety valve..... this is red... it is herring... salted & canned... no one can be a
solipsist.... it is merely a description of vision.... for the there is there as a there amidst
others these specific ones which are there amidst singularity which i am is not that which is
this of these others faces ipseity.... if so then stay silent my boy!!!.... that is something which
must be reckoned by these alone these specific others are singularities who shine for me for
others for themselves this shining remains ambiguous as it is caught between there this
happening amidst this here.... tuna fish in a can with egg noodles & cream of mushroom
soup covered with a light film of black pepper... honesty is this only point at issue after all
what else is there to be as it is amidst this after all what else is there honestly this youngest
of virtues this excessive fountain of all virtues narcissism bestows a remedy for excrement
that shouts across this there amidst many there a love amidst many a many self love to
love another one must love oneself .... wrong answer.... nice try!!!
you can fuck somebody without loving yourself without loving that somebody
you can fuck & fuck & fuck... & not feel it.... anybody & almost everybody probably does
this i could think of no other reason for this condition to persistingly persist other than this
most powerful most obvious situation but with this special singularity of love this terrain
disintegrating cyclical violence there are no relationships... there cannot be... no never... not
he was a reaaly cool guy i have to find him again lost in a world of
this immediate happening it really is so strange as these keys are pressed downed as he
sings over this it is alll so reminiscent of that that that childhood times of saturnalic chants
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for this winter
for all must recurr in a pro-found way oscillates opens amidst brink this closes... just once...
to say that one should instead of one must is a signal that there persist considerable
exceptions to pre-existent but crumbling rule law paradigm etc. etc. one must love oneself
it did not seem so much to involve myself in that which there could be no involvement
being there to see what may arise from this interaction this happening drawn out disperses
ambiguous bestowal it is like a beginning since it begins in open blue space coldness
penetrates my body face asks for that which has been deferred drink smoke myself to
death
to that infinite indefinite eclipse playing with this possibility of inevitability inexorable
suspect this worse all time torture myself with that specter of its annihilation this body
deny this worse step over that line there is no immediate backlash i procede further
tip toeing along hopeg that i will not explode disintegrate decay
that is itself there always already i wish that i can deferr this event this manifest
destiny without significance death is there to be confronted although this there is nowhere
everywhere now not yet it is no where at all not right now right here it is there one that
may suddenly or protractively come here where i am sheltered yet i can only persist
amidst this dwelling as epiphenomenon i persist contingent upon that endurance of shelter
haunt visions that which can is must should would be this site of destiny this meaning this
i am not really sure anymore what is happening amidst my movements gestures activities
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committments encounters situations engagements happenings overtures promises
politeness manners looking at this face body movement gestures look gaze into eyes
a dead dog lies stiff smashed on over across this dampened surface of
asphalt expanse
there once was a man who used to walk down this road just walk down this
road all day singing that one song this same song over & over
blisters heat midday tops black burns close matted skin walks sown this
road all day long this man this one who once road across this rippling cool water rolls
along over across strolls along on moonlight bay he crawls across scratches intimate
strolling along on moonlight bay drive he crawls across through this searing sand rips off
out strands stubs his scrapes off skin slide out sown on it he slithers surround in his grass
rolls along sweeping vis-a-vis high sugarcanes smiles at her her sweet beautiful face beams
there is no wisdom of which one could display love no one can love that
conjectures happening of his or her own death not out of anxiety or fear but of sheer
indeterminancy of this projected event i can never have a complete reflectively articulated
death of others i see that still presence of her body i remember happenings events streams
upon streams of this body this body when it was you when i grasped held you amidst
myself your mere status of epiphenomenality you were there here with me in my arms but
must i be at once tortured by your memory by this dark necessity of this extermination of
your memory this annihilation of that rhythmn of this here-ness must you die twice i
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project beyond myself that possible happening of my death i assume that my death will be
orchestrated terminating in crematational burial dead bodies dances in this fire wish my
ashes to be planted in the root structures of an apple tree sappling in the midst of a
project this like a drama at which myself am present to play a role i insert my
be there i am there amidst this projective scenario one which allows me to transfigure that
void possibility of my death that is to be sometime soon into this project of producing an
performance of these tenuous actors my death absorbed through witnessing these deaths
finding project my ownmost possiblity from that singularity of this other this finding
is a leap amidst uncertainty indeterminacy toward this same betwixt this eternal insistent
succomb to delusion polite ignorance tactful forgetfulness thrung lust flux scatters splatters
that site this here in your face beyond your comprehension there is gonna be a quiz at your
ascension not that there is gonna be a threat of hell you better just as well learn your
lessons well
as it is is as it is as it is nothing else is as it is
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to here knows when
she was there
about wishing
to be wishing
to be within
around
everywhere
her existence
is no other face
this face
these faces
each of these
all
each
unique
ineffable
stillness
each
subli8me
her
each
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to here knows when
what about an electra complex for male children vis-a-vis their fathers fathers
it is just amazing that we find ourselves alive knowing somehow that this
presence is fleeting falling as falling off such a tall building that eventually you forget that
you gained orientation within this fluxing falling space it became so very
'natural' to you it was such a tall building at least sometimes it is tall sometimes short
suddenly you remember that you are falling from a very tall building you are blinded by a
fold... many folds... earth shall be be fair all her people one not until that hour might his
will be done... i keep smoking & smoking & smoking & smoking & smoking skfisjf
sajgoisjgknsklfg sodgf nosfgois fisf i cannot help but to think of this foolishness
suddenly here where are you going where am i going where are we going we just go
along in our own waysseeing encountering touching grasping intersperse in your midst i
am still not being very honest honesty is death
SPLAT!!! hit this pavement spatter here there all about around your body hits
i look at it from this outside your annihilation i do not feel your pain i am not there
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to here knows when
this you which is written you no longer
could only cringe at that sympathetic imaginative put myself into your shoes wrap around
shatter bloody ankles i freak when i realize that i am going to splatter onto this pavement
i have to continually forget this destiny to simply live long live god long live god
long live god long live god i did not call him & i just now realized my forgetfulness it is
really OK just think of this preciousness of your lover's face i come from a geneology that is
festive during these winter months there is a ghost in that back room actually this front
room as this is this banal theological room space time dwells in that room there is a ghost
which routinely opens & closes this door slams at times when i feel this spirit may be
bothered by this intensity of music i apologize to that spirit wish that we together could
reach some kind of workable agreement one that is in both our immediate and long term
interests but who thinks like that really we just go along because it comes along
this agenda is already always set as SAME as that beer commerical so aptly
speculates, existentially, 'Why ask why???... slobber drips & drips from his mouth as
it becomes more & more & more & more banal in its excremental spitting vomits yet dance
myself in this gift somehow relieves that wakefulness of those who by thinking death
robbe-grillet happiness warm gun ariestottle said that life was to be happy ariestottle said
that life was a warm gun FOR ARIESTOTTLE THE ULTIMATE JOY OF LIFE IS TO KILL
ONESELF so maniacal yet there is really no other alternative explanation for my behavior
all your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free you were only waiting
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you were only waiting for this moment to arrive
one more time a young boy his eye that boy his woman jesus weapon
revenge yet he forgot her perspective he made it into somekind of male thing it's a male
thing you wouldn't understand he proceeded to lie on the table as soon as i am able fell
back into the bible checkin out the revival of the woerld of the word of thwe
woesohjfshfoshfdvxzcc/ do you really think that the tenuousness could not be asserted
more blindly than as we assert that we should no not should but why not as there will be
no surveillance .... that word again... or discipklicnary projectiones why why don't we do it
in the road no one will be watching us why don't we do it in the road.... half of what i say
is meaningless a song of love love calls me shining eyes lighting touch embrace i have
begun to fear for my life closing in am i indeed mad as all respectable people so readily
proclaim there is a spinal visceral shock in that possibility.... yet would that not be this
utterly beautious response to this provocation... walk around peeing on myself laughing at
these strands of wind.... rains wash... love... dry harbors joke.... the man walks to another
asks excuse me sir but do you have a spare communist... why yes i do... he hands him a
communist... this one walks away smiling... plagiarize pony pope president pope or
something... something out there is dangerous... could be a cigar or something... nah! your
insane... he wants to eat more but he succombs to this open gaze upon him yet he soon
realizes that this is just another tenuous makeshift he continues to eat not eating that which
would be deemed appropriate to he is so sad so afraid what a scenario to project upon one
i am always in a debate with you you silence i am debating the pause could it be that i
knew all along does it even matter for this asserts this now it spreads spreads where it
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to here knows when
stops everybody dreads is this merely indicative of something more significant
or must this shit chill down its self in its spread think latter significance relates only to
opening that is a closing a path that is a resting place deeply asleep dreaming the dances of
the muse i will go to sleep will dream of you forever in my sleep my death throws
incipient rapture intersperses amidst absent thought this simple thought of you he thinks
that he may be dying & therefore to his horror he brings this selfsame situation to presence
as has been stated there is a doctor jekyl and mr. hyde waiting about, if that is your
selected gaze................................
these furies laugh at me but i do not mind these muses continue to bite at my ears spit
violently i will cook those eggs eat them making omlets it is almost out in two different
almost three senses to think differently is not this same as becoming what one is a web of
speculation bowing masochistically down to this web as this selfsame articulation does it
even matter if one holds a standard of that which is true can 'we' not trust 'ourselves,' are
'we' of such a state as to be wishing 'our' own destruction... what is the problem????......
two different songs play at once for my ears blending together one stops
that other dances this cascades back now drowns out this other yet not
totally for this all lays spins it web proximity shatter amidst this forbidden
today tenuous goddess sends her gift of chance hovers
intersperse spreads this dwelling shocking thoughts grasp gentle innocent tugs
penetrates heart this deep passionate longing free fall succumbs your
beckons
depth dark
chasm
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to here knows when
clutches
surge shatter
wallssister's
name haunts
smile
welcomes
abode
fragile soul gentle [pretty] facecall out over across spin pivotal heal
i sent her a letter after she sent a post card i had not had her address & as she
was with this imp of satan how could i even begin a clean conversation but now she is free
of this thumping shit yet she is weaker for having been there at all what a shame she has
responded to my call yet i sit waiting for these conditions to be established by which i
could receive her response there are things which could be done if this were a hurry not
this at all it will come as fate plays with all of this one must take time it will come this gift
wields his bag of therotical tools to excuse himself from all implication... just s walks
around excusing excusing apologising ... excuse me..... but has run away into that other
space outside those masters & slaves he is not a coward in that he has renounced idols....
just as this beat beat drip drip slime dance dash ooga ogg ... drums are too noisy you got
no corners to hide in.... have you ever murdered idols you will die anyway risk persists in
issue death provides for no risk it is there thrown from this that presence risk concerns this
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to here knows when
opening not that closing this opening amidst these here terrestriality
this opening
eros & thanatos do not fuck but who really cares after all about such gossip such idle
chatter... just silly little words ... big deal... sex... death.... that pale herd interjects with this
unexpalinable pretension.... as if a ninety five year old blister covered fat smelly hairy nun
who had never been fucked in her life .... snot running out her hairy mole nose... she
belches out pronouncements on what's sexy.... oh noooo! you cannot talk about things that
happen with the body... no one can... it is all just a sick joke.... oh noooooooooo!@....
iiiiiItttttT is sooooo over due to just grab & line up all these sterile academics priests
politicians businessgoats managers etcetcetc... just shoot them all... shoot them all....
SHOOT THEM ALL... take their dead rotten corpses make fertilizer... pepperoni .... spam...
this serious clean cut scholar intervenes on these piece of shit's behalf.... one must
give such souls more credit than is served out to them by you... they are not stupid it is
always so seductive to peddle that prospect of a new way of being for all those involved in
this trade instead of making a decision by creating certain circumstances prefiguring this
` there is no decision as such only a pale gesture of negotiating deferral this deferral lets
being be being....
this impatient one rejoins ..... treacherous reactionary absurd to its babbling sham of
confusion bad art the cruel foul sprays splatter excrement conceals inscribes a glance a
gaze if you could only prove it my son there is no equation formula unconcealment of
bhgtn
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to here knows when
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there are two horizons most readily i detect those who wish to enact nihilistic death bound
scenarios those that are there dying before my eyes as i am dying before my own eyes
transient gaze of those of others it is said that i am born & will die i will experience neither
i have experienced neither do not come to me with questions that you know i cannot
answer for you do not dissect my every movement gesture posture please i know just as
little as you do... but that is all the more reason to yelp out from this myre of proximity....
beyond good & evil... mickle mouse & goofy... is the image it is a style merely a
style a trivial sterile style... a posture... opening a new field outside these other suffocating
castrated encounter amidst this diary of an eternal child style as this shit man spouts
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to here knows when
stream out projectile shitting over across among amidst not as representation but as
orgasmic gathering that image beyond this here splashes about around amidst our
questioned.....................there is probably not much more coming forth racing against this
this enforces enacts cultural ritual as those kinds spout out their shit their hideous
genocidal event dissemination solution are 'we' even prepared for this 'truth' in that it rots
on those shelves of forgotten warehouses as that it is enacted all around everywhere here
there concealed on that pretext that it is obscene to display international acts of terrorism
of 'our' state amidst which you so readily recline......... is this what is so readily
obscene???....... if the eternal recurrance of the same turns out to be different.... do not get a
hepatitis shot in a certain site amidst California in 1978..............he spoke: i could live for
many many many years a very very very slow one perhaps
this death much about which you will never know will be
exhibiting futility foolishness absurdity to probe grasp for any thing deeper for this i is not
myself it is god...
this one really wants needs desires is this true what kind of question is this in this tenuous
eternity it matters none in this least... not at all... yet this darkened shadow sky seduces
blood boils winds rushes hair shrills thrill race across skin naked bodies rush & run
why after all conditions of trust disintegrated did i trust my long dead grandfather coming
in after this long night not coming home by necessity wishing simply to be here it is
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to here knows when
a rest requiring those resting to get up awake
ascend from your beds my flock get up out of bed wake up so that you can rest
sleep walking along about amidst there here seeing hearing smelling all of them as these
move about disperse in their singular rest light guides soul amidst space i do not know
why it was simply this thing to do i could not bring myself to such measures such
intense love walking death absorbs within self annihilates discord it may be that
it is simply obvious so so very simple obvious there .... yet obvious never stops anyone
from fucking their brain body to shreds it is always abstract death is always never never
land all is tried for when it comes it is too late it is not even known seen it is certain yet
do what ever you fucking like just do not destroy that which i love i will kill you
if you do
she is so lovely bright joyous do not destroy her hopefully she will not destroy herself i
love her i will kill you for she is finally my friend i have faith in her that this will be nothing
at all her smile her eyes reassure me i perhaps mean nothing at all maybe a meaning is you
smacked gently yet intensely upon your face by that which is radically other witnesses this
in its utter darkness this one moves along in serial procession of everlasting cold wind
penetrates as it is swept along amidst its swirling tendency ..... but what a bunch of silly
foolsih shit a heap of ridiculous shit.... falling in line for this excruciating torture trip.... not
having to do this ... getting on the ride one too many times... coming off vomiting... nearly
dead.... a lot of good it all did... it did... yet not again... strength erupts .... vengeance is
abstract that damage has been done it is almost as if two had realized this absurdity yet
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to here knows when
carry only never speaking of this utter instrumentality oh well
persist as
there
it is there amidst this serial dispersion into nullity projection unto possibilities
is it not strange that through these paths one is encouraged to fulfill a way of
is it not more interesting that instead of the one the individualized 'object' of the 'that,'
born thrown from that feminine tract cast about held up side down smacks breath wake
up welcome to this world is there any reason at all that this should be confronted or is it
just one big paranoic delusion... can one always trust ones instincts .... a better question:
must one always trust ones instincts..... is deception such an horrific encounter???? there
can not be a who if all that is required to know this who is concealed de facto....... please
just relax for just this one moment.... it is just not that big of a deal.... you know that this is
singular death harbours space looking at an inevitability one only named constantly
destiny it seems arbitrary yet this feeling pulsates urge persists ambiguity doubt confusion
117
to here knows when
terror welling amidst this body surges perplexity in this face of concealed possibilities
could it be written here that this opening persists as something intimately esteemed could
this not be that very worst thing that this space could provide this cannot be that better
way there seems to be something missing a dark obscure longing jittering scattered
restlessness
i sit here writing about this urge these fractured cloudy rythmic images jumping
skipping back & forth amidst this space of dream thinking of you writing about this i will
call you now things will persist in this tenuous makeshift improvised fabrication this
implosive explodes time bomb driven nightmare but since it may not be a nightmare at all
but just a bizarre struggle for ecstatic joy these will continue on amidst this fragile design
become this singular time of trust amidst this space opens eruptive scatters possibilities
beyond detection this space of this concealing this absurd ridiculous absurd space this
having to trust thinking that trust itself arises as an intrinsic facet of this time indicates
fracturing chaotic upsurgings via situations trust persists as the same as that which it is not
this concealing of trust this problematic persists amidst discordant terrestrial openings it
cannot become such an overwhelming concern as deep seated fears fly about around these
that might not be at this present time manifest there is no concealing in that this is not
there
it is irrelevant to seek to look behind the veil there persists dancing rolling veils
projecting fluid surfaces whipping across caresses of winds what you do not know does
not concern you forget about possibility forget about suspicion forget these terroristic
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to here knows when
between singular happenings forget contours of duration forget yourself... oh no not that!
this hideous vile imp shouts what you see is what you get accept your place forget
your memories are not your own memories these images are those inculcated immersed
amidst your being your space your taste smell touch hear see there persists no continuum
totality there is no truth there is no redemption there is no afterlife there is no god there is
no personal immortality this planet will be engulfed by the sun in five billion years
physicality fizzles out under this horizon of finitude there is no law there is no equality
there is no peace there is no system no community there is no progress you are slapped
about by thieving blood sucking verminal excrement you beg for more as you dwell amidst
regularity you are no more important than a piece of fly shit when surveiled** from the
you are told what is truth you assent you are slapped you beg for more your hand &
feet are nail to a cross seven shit in your face you laugh exalted feeling that you are loved...
there is no interconnected nexus of events each part of the whole does not contain within
itself this germ for that completed totality it would seem that this does not even matter at
all in the least... settle down it is just not that big of a deal it must be forgotten erased via
contextualization it does not seem to matter as it all goes along in this midst of happening
all by ridiculous blind chnace it is all there already always fluxing in this opening he walks
about in utter confusion in this time this feeling of this space this event it is all here now
fuck this as it seems so remote from any risk there persists the possibility
run down there was this boy that wanted to be run down run sown real hard
119
to here knows when
against intimate within the sprawling pavement it is not that we cannot work together on
the most specific thus the most important thins it is just that we have opened this
infrastructural cultural we have not opened in that this happening is one of fate he just
turns it down he comes in & just turns it down twice so i move away respecting this
assertion of presence it is all the same inthis grasping this clumsy surveilled** finger dance
thisdance the eruption of hell - oh, my god, not this most uncanniest of guests ------ again...
it is all here for me now it is here present there in front alongside within without whispers
repeat vibrations of tear drops winds crash against churn amidst this pulsating surge
dancing feeling this body sway read just churn breath pain humidity heat coldly relaxes in
this state of play sheer utter play having nothing at all similar to it compulsive automaton
writing keeps me sane even as i seek this space so aptly misnamed it is cold
this little boy dreams each night that the next day in the next day somewhere somehow
sometime he will be run down by a bread truck he dreams this dream every night after
night seething alterity how could she forget this anyway as this tension catatonia sweeps
down out around among there amidst right in front of your fucking god damned face
thunder shatters against across amidst these pale swirling amorphous ejaculatio of
clouds swaying fro & to but how obedient can one be fully seen as being other than
insisting on that correct speeling of words please fo9iro gods sake just get the fuck out of
my face this is all too pressing as it is forced forced without any hope desire counterpart of
reciprocity it is not welcopmes it is not there it cannot happen just relaize that this will
never happe for you if you stay here as if it were plainly obvious exactly what & why &
120
to here knows when
how & hen & with who you wanted this in the beginiing is it all so very fucking too surreal
for any one just once maybe you will grasp that this is clearly intolerable but intolerable de
the old god shall never rise again for it never did set... the oldest is certainly not ra,
osiris, jehovah adonai yahweh, apollo, etc..... situations of relief presentation flux
determination sending not exactly the right word but it becomes a fu7cking heap of
something else until it is punctuated! it has always been present to this gaze of one who
looks & sees hears fells tasstes touches smellles licks eat fucks and ru7bs this sweetest
amobrosia dancing explodes bombs this night time under the c old embrace of this smiles
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i loved her so much i did not want to love her but i really di i was afraid of that
inevitability of separation at first 'we' had made a sorta agreement that each of us realized
that this was a temporary situation only for this now but this will cease with an inexorable
annihilation she was so beautiful her smile melted my soul she made me even realize that i
121
to here knows when
had a soul in the firt place only her allowed that space when i needed it what a wonderful
person she was as i have no contact at this point she could be dead for all i know yet her
face beams amidst my memory she will never die or at least will die with me [6o5ib
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122
to here knows when
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ambiguity cooincdence resembaslce silence similarity destiny fate this which is so plainly
clear at this point at least it clears amidst this discordant dance of death (ddd) it is
probably just as you suggest with your gaze it is all there right there before 'our' eyes it is
all right there do not even try to deny it there is this & this cannot be a product of mistaken
[identity] for this is not a question of unity but on e of terrestrial respect distance chilling
out now ... boundries it is all like it has been written an infinity of times in an infinity of
no90t especially designed to be a radically intrusive bit to be placed between your teechth
as the harness is strappeeddc on it is all there right in front of your fucking face can you not
thhgrgthgthgn8ihgutghhngthghithnithtttnhgignhtinghtigthnigthnightnigthnigthnintghigth
nintghiinhgtnihgtnihtgghnitighnthnigtgthnigthnitghittigtinghnithngtiintrgnggtnhtgithithgt
ihgthigntignithgtihgnithnitnghthgntghnithhtnhitghngithngtigthnighnignhitghnithnithitnhi
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yhhni......................s
can it ever be so very very very obvious that it just becomes boring & banal? do not look
back ,,, it finally experiences as such finally............................ maybe i just do not want to
write anymore maybe i just am diluted by your banality this feeling that i must soemhow
tg49-tu49tu9ut9ut9ut09ututuoitjegkoegpoolkgookokokokogvkkolkdgpo;kdpogpejtgqe-tg
g she is a railroad lady staying on that train leaving in this lane wishing to be
IGRTHBKJ"
PYE:K'jFKC< most of this is just this sorting of peas rememb3r at least this just sorting of
pease from one bowl to another, , /x.c <. kl;hjuipy78t a fly buzzing aroun the room ......
but this does not permit me to say unaltered in this way that i love you
period,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,mmnkjhdfohdsg]ojg0ug09u
g mindless parasitic excrement from this conceited asshole ... maybe it is just a part of my
soul it cannot be extinguished for it could would will not kill itself.............. nuy yhat part
revolts aginst this shit nevertheless.............. his first this asshole seething basturd buzszzard
with his bag of coins being pyhsically paind going back to square one you asshole yiou
from this technological gaze activity i do not want to play with you any more homey wont
do that you dont mass produce them you construct them one piece at a time in keeping
with a legacy that has endured for ten thousand years... it is so absurd in all of its utter
foolsih pretention of seeming importance the piss poor asswhip so ialitie controller folold
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dshgf[o gh y-O` Y]TI0QPE.as:c IT IS STILL NONETHESLESS INNOVATIVE
INSANE................. the words themselves become boring the4 lack of a space for openness
clear it is all the smae it cannot be anthiung differnt,,,,,,,,,, the feeli ng the act cannot seek
shelter in words it tries but thuis is so m8ch neddless compromise as these simple things
pacts........... in this banality of control commands cooordinatuion this & this ththtire
access to this,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, it has all become the s ame the rumor hasx stuck inspired by
making love in the shattered drift .......................... letting it all go for it can not seem to be
anyn more at this point to be not therer precisely not therere what this is & whereever this
suuupposed spac e is to reside............... she has no choice but to continue at this point it is
all so there not obvious not transparent not even meaningful but just therer with a certain
singular complusion... what ever this may be at this time the most innovative but
distracted of apes ............... apes can never be banal... it is not in their nature humans no
longer never had have any nature this word does not apply..... leaders are made not
born.......... Vally Forge Academy76 fasdcist military ace\acdemy & colledge trains
youhnng men for success oh how nice it is to have dociale young boys for these seetihing
hypocrities..,. it is not only goofdd for the aire but for the entire zoo compresed natual gas
it dissipates goes out in the aire & is no longer a problem anymore what the fuck doe we
let ourselves herarkfns'lktfjh[soigjf there is just too much shit........... it just does not
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SICKENING VAMPIRE PARASITES LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY IN OWN BANAL
ACCOUNT LIVES WELL JUST FUCK YOU ALL THE SAME YOU ASSHOLE MOTHER
FUCKING VERMIN YOU SHALL NOT PERSIST YOU ARE ONLY FOOLS NOT TO SEE
THE IMPENDING it 9is twisted tortyuered out of the one as it tryies simply to breathe a
sigh here or there it ised all just this just now fu87ck a;p;ll pof you i cannot even write
anymore for i persist as the barbarian within your soulo... i apologize as your guilt your
ressentiment your false longings infect that space which is this singular space why should i
after all this shit have to apologizse.... it is alkl just shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit
my distorted twisted response becomes ever so more impotent.... one must not forget the
longing for more more more more like a bunch of pathetic sheep being lined up for the
extermination... it is so obvious......... what is to become of those like you & me after this
epochal readjustment its own kind of justice etc....................... we are the pathetic sleepless
wonder eanderers only in our sleep the dzys are painted such & the life trickles down from
the touch as we fool ourselves in our exercise of ritualistic submission to almost godlike
apparitions of persons,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,mmmnnm,...... those others who sit around getting fat off
the land on which the little girl & her family are burned out due to their irrelevance,,,, it is
done because it can be done... there is no chicken there is no egg there is no metaphor there
is only this right here right now this bleeding space ,,,,,,,,,,,, just do not give them too
much,,,,,,,
it is simply intolerable it could not be stated more simply at least in this space of radical
homogenized milk & dairy products... i represent nothing at all i am not noble i am not
genealoigcally profound nor significant ... i guess stopo trying to play a [part] in bad faith...
take the risk........... the confinement was not there not necessary the gaze saw so much it
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wished so much it did so much only to be suffocated divided dissection shrivels to hell
cast to the wind..... he just wished he could be that free but the situation
demands a different attitude for the sake of primitive survival all is necessary all becomes
'good' could ever come of that... this... the lesson of two millenia.... erased cast to the wind
it is all the same in its banal accumulative fetish of dead festering corpses... make the
situation so horrible that all frames of cultural reference are obliterated... then can come
walt disney to heal the wounds within the new american church.... excuse me, global...
they are all children are they not nonetheless...,.,. we all see it here but i love you i love you
nonetheless because i care about you i just love you til it sends tingles down my spine... my
heart aches deep passions wells this surge// how quaint it must seem to those who have so
many important SERIOUS things to think about all the time & forever to be closed out
shut out locked out locked out basf..... rwanda rode a honda, exercised to jane fonda over
yonder... oh did she like to ponder... blah blah blah... it is all set up there in advanced we
are so bored & our exploiters are so boring that the others mooing the moo of popular
fashionable culturally correct create ways with our own self abasing compromise to find
curse of generations is spawned from this one..... i am ridiculously painted within the
scratchings & knawings of the dominators.. negative gate keeper guardian cannot deal
with this very thopught that there is someone who is happy... she frolicks aroudn to turn
everything trro shit... to shit to shit... she runs around just to fuck up the day to put a cloud
over every smile...... this time though i am ready... she will be eradicated from this planet if
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she tries this shit again... there are some things more important than another's life.... i can
.......& again it dost shine again it is as this this crunching sending shine shine
shine......................................
what is my world anyway is it this one that seems to be there functioning continuous
seemingly viably durable it is there presumably this state of affairs will remain it is always
like this at least it has been like this for quite sometime it can therefore remain as it is in
this way in this singular manner at every second & moment this could all disintegrate
explode unravel erupt amidst shattering discord this is always there here everywhere
terrestrial collocations drift amidst flux intersperses across contours inscribing articulating
traversing (ing words to suggest substance) fractured blind wind water air fire it has all
been this way for such a long time as the man stands with his dog attaching ring by ring
this national flag to the rope ascending the pole walking past him smiling & saying hello
gazing penetrating his eyes looking at me with proud sentiment posturing determination
for just a moment he stood statuesque this last dignified person in this world he sits on his
porch atop my street this street from which i am immanently moving he sits on porch his
house his dog each time i pass him i wave say hello i do not know him i have never spoken
to him yet each time i wave say hello even to his dog which vomits out ferocious bark-
esque tracking me as i walk by fenced dog laughing often looking towards old man in that
moment eyes unite a smile is shared i do not know him yet i respect him as far as this goes
due to this utter superficial interaction that we have one which by opening myself i conceal
passing by walking on those publically owned sidewalks right-there due to that fact i am
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able to walk by there really is no need for any negotiation or cultivation of a terrestrial
this cannot be a state function at all this state must be pushed back from
this domain of privacy it must be combatted its style must be erased this entire strategic
slavery it means that you rent your body from the state... the church... any church... already
always owns your soul not separation of church & state but eradication of each both at
once... i spoke on the phone to a friend with whom i had acted as he so thoughtfully
articulated strange well maybe so maybe my actions are physical convulsions due to
excessive happenings maybe this is the case after all maybe there is just a strange aura
jumping about in the air maybe i am insane maybe i am incapable of feeling trust in
anything at all maybe i am just irrationally paranoid maybe i should put my mind to some
constructive use maybe i think that everyone is conspiring to get me maybe this is the case
after all maybe the entire reality which is this experience of this world seems to suggest a
massive concerted action to not only drive me crazy but also to destroy my life maybe this
is indeed the case in... maybe i set in the face of death in terror... each bleeds into this
other... boundries erase... this has seized hold of everything else sutures this life together
after it has exploded apart... maybe this is horror fear ... maybe i am easily seduced via
abstract possibility... each face reminds me of this insatiable ineffable moment... this time
when a voice one that is silent will come to gather my soul hearken for its leave seduce it to
come out only for it to die with the loss of its home... i swim franticly through the green
dark water with one arms holding my shoes on with the other... i spy those bodies
standing on the bridge as i climb out barfooted crawling towards the wooden door of the
house crawling inside throughout the corridors through the open rooms cots scattered
about floors draped with tossed clothing ... i grab a pair of shoes... wlak hurry to the
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to here knows when
outside am apprehended i seek to say i belong ... my wetness betrays myself... these shoes
are many sizes too big... i flee.... INFLUENCE MY THOUGHT WHY DO YOU NOT YOU
AMIDST THIS MATRIX OF HAPPENINGS IT IS REALLY NOT HER SHE SAYS THAT
SHE IS THE WILD GIRL BUT SHE IS NOT THIS AT ALL BUT IT ALL REMAINS THE
you are merely a foolish hypocritical incompetent bureacrat... you are a simple
fool... an asshole... a dick... one dripping yellow puss onto my new carpet... this present
maybe i am just a bum maybe satan sends me private messages maybe our hunger is too
apparent maybe our demands are too forceful maybe this entire vortex of mental activity is
order to enact revenge against me they decided to act together in such a way deploying
kill myself... maybe this is merely comedy... maybe jesus was a lesbian... maybe i am santa
claus.... i fuck the easter bunny... & it grunts like a horse... not to be hypersuperstitious, but
it is real bad luck to mull around in regret... maybe i am not capable of trust too many
shifts in too little time inhabits the sphere of tension discord forgetful memories lost
possibilities the dream of one shattering on the rocks of the other this one who was there
but was not could not be there at that time in this space maybe we all have a bag & maybe
in every bag we have a thing... love will tear us apart... again... is it not so obvious
sometimes that writing is just a perverse means to attain forgetfulness the only problem
with this strategy is after all that everyone else reads this excrement & taking it seriously
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devise strategies to implement these scatalogical suggestions for is not all theory just
shit??? the main problem is to find the singular rhythm gravitating attuning amidst discord
chaos not in a foolish caricatured sense but in its very singularity... to apprehend the
fruitfulness... to give birth to a dancing star... yet it does not possess singularity it is
singularity as it happens in the midst you got to walk home baby because you just won't
treat me right you really got a lotta nerve don't you no it won't take long inscribing the
continuity of fanciful yet malignantizing paranoia is that not the fear after all it really is not
this way at all it could not be it is just that things are so good it just seems that mechanisms
of concealment are just functioning that much better.... but who knows anyway.... who in
the fuck cares about all this senseless absurd dribbling babble this horse shit streaming
excrement shooting casting scattering watering across among this shit that is constantly
there surging surging hell this might be hell this might be hell this might be hell already
always... & the sickening fact is that this hell was designed to always allow the question
but never the answer at least in a time & a space in which it could matter when it is just
tragicomicallally too late always too late always outside our grasp but always staring us in
the face we are on the lowest rung of hell we are corraled on the edge each of us with
virtual reality masks on our faces thinking that we are having sex but in actual reality
screwing on toilet seats disseminating each of our lives but the program runs out... we each
of us must die this is the party line so artfully assimilated deployed coerced etc. etc. etc.
etc...... as the program runs out the ground falls out below us as each of our souls is cast to
the abyss of wind scattering gnawing contained explosion the mind remains with constant
pain from the wound laceration of being torn from the body this becoming dust the idea of
heaven was thought up by satan as a cruel joke to saturate his cultivation his herd i walked
back after making my phone calls feeling somehow relieved about the status of my
seeming tenuous temporally spatially lapsed worlds what does one do with the notions of
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space & time after it clear that these are merely projections interpretations as is the case
with the apparent antithetical duality of life death is there really ever a use for the world &
he stood there this is my life so i just get on with it dispelling absurd fear hey wake up this
your only chance to live do not waste it by wallowing around in vile diseased shit is this a
new beginning or just an indeterminant ending a beginning with nothing there ... really ...
there is something there but there is just something that is not right there is some
discordance due to some barrier as situation nothing is determined ever but that does not
speak that all is amidst harmonious niche happenings is it really possible to attain
something which is new or at least different in a cultivated way manner happening etc. etc.
etc. etc. is this a letter or just the extension of a nebulous dream what really is happening at
the two perhaps both each as aspects of the [same] maybe all is so obvious transmitted
among all of these that there is just no chance things can always be painted in the darkest
light must stay here simply and inexorably this must be the case it must happen as it falls
amidst sending but this is the most banal recapitulation of fierce suffocating excrement
there is no destiny there can be none for gods are terrestrial-celestial infernal shit why there
is even a distinction baffles me this only makes sense if it is posited that the heavens
traverse in a constellation of perfect order since this is obviously not the case what is one to
make of that is it necessary to advocate nihilism and decadence in order to transgress and
defeat the enemy or is this merely a constituent of the same is there any need of enemies
are there enemies is this not entirely absurd happening is all that happens this happening
that i am embarassed by my real feelings that i am forced not to express them is pul;sating
there amidst deployment one that is nothing there is only the failure to deal with the
happening that has been in that this past intervenes as a guiding limit in the present
sending
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if only the rain could fall sideways and the sun could dance
but they cannot they will not it will not be this way but it will not be this way it will be this
way it willnot be this way it will be this way it will not be this way it is not decided which
way it will be the decision itself is rendered null and void as being that which does not
apply it is all ambiguity all confusion without end it is all that which is the case it is all it is
all many shades of grey brown purple yellow cast thrown shit sliding scattering off away
across it is all this way the amibiguity the assertion of indecidability manifest confusion the
luxury of power the luxury of the predator which plays with its prey as it prepares itself
for the kill it is all this way oit is no other this is the case and this case exhibits proliferating
infectious contagion of the insideous opaque..... the dispersions of situations sucks out
possibility into this excremental sameness..... it does not matter anymore the word does no
longer apply it is all as it must have been it was quite clear even from this begfinning this
new beginning this ridiculous gesture of displaced attunement this sickening christian act
of grace of mercy the ridiculous forgettfulness the understanding the good natured sense
of giving to another acting as an example show what you mean as opposed to saying it not
expecting anything in return yet wishing there to be a community the utter manifest
bankruptcy hypocrisy cruelty of this nonsensical piece of snail shit bleeds its poison into
the interstices of this present openness amidst eternity..... if one acts as a fool one will be
treated as a fool..... if one is ridiculous one will be treated seriously but will be portrayed as
ridiculous to others..... or one will not... perhaps the ridiculousness of the behavior will
become so manifest to the one, but not to any other, that it will interpolate an imagined
perhaps it is just another absurd situation erupting from boredom..... what does it mean to
love someone, what sense can this have exhibit manifest assert .... is this gesture not
sufficiently vain at this point in the excremental game...... even if one feels this love decides
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upon this feeling it is all vanity as this feeling becomes simply projected only this surface
standing amidst this one which dances in about around another amidst an earthworld
streaming as water wind fire.... all worlds persist of the earth of the body...... this does not
cannot change.... it will not ..... it endures a terroristic drama encapsulating the one this
oblivionile fuck shit damn hell fuck fuck shit shit shit fuck damn damn hell.... or it opens as
possibility amidst all that can be and thus all that which can and must be affirmed.... lived
power flux chaos confusion not able to depict for there is no logic.... there is no form////
sacred words do not have to be written in hieroglyphics....... it does not have to be the case
since what is sacred cannot be inscribed.... that which is sacred glows as an aura around on
who in the fuck cares in the least it is all a bunch of shit, anyway is this not the case if it is
not then what the fuck everything is just wonderful it is so lovely that i spontaneoulsy
wake up in the midst of the procession of life erupting in orgasm orchestrating the primal
affirmation of all the most minute details of this life for as the stoics so aptly inscribed as
this was stated to those amongst whom these were terrestrially contiguous via operational
spatially differential nets matrices of the fluxile same ,,,,,, .... all persists amidst as
cfettt.t..t.t.etc.....
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is implicated amidst this eternal sameness..... it goes on and on with no clear direction
purpose all is ambiguous all dances there amidst the absence indecisiveness... unless this
latter rams a hot blazen poker up your ass.... which in my opinion is not the most
pleasurable of experiments.... of course all is possible yet that does not mean that all of
these proliferating intensities are there seducing the one to a rapture of desirability......
please do not even try to provide this one with an explanation === it is all just so much shit
erupting from your mouth......... save that for your next victim fatal female this woman that
is death.... but that exhibits sustained after death nervous orchestrations.... yet she does not
die.... but only lives on long enough to say to you good bye... after which miraculously she
is there again no longer on the brink of death.... there again to seduce another into her
web.... yet another and another amidst this escapist strategy of sadistic absorption and
am always so tenuous ambiguous confused unsure... i do not know what will happen... i
do not know the future.... but i know the past... in fact it is my specialty.,.... do not ask me
who i am and do not tell me to remain the same..... all is ambiguous in this orgy of
concealment transgression all tactics parasitic & complementary to the same to the order....
decadence persists as the same as cadence..... each feeding off the other being each other as
the same..... the excremental economy of the same scatological matrices of heterogeneous
against normality, a fancy fit only for the fantastic, etc.... persist..... this is necessary for the
endurance of the good people of this great nation.... (begin hearing "My Eyes Have Seen
The Glory") satanism incites amibiguity, confusion...... in this most worthy respect there
before our patriotic god fearing hearts... that which is concealed that which is a mystical
proliferation is that, in that, it is plain.... evil is necessary for there to be good.... this throng
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of mediocre apologists shit from their fingers
and good must have evil if it is to be as such that it asserts///...,,,... there were only a few
times in which a sector made an affirmation which portrayed pure implosion of these
impossibilities.... all that is left after suffocation and epidermal absorption is the same.....
this sameness of the last man this drifting pathnet across terrestrial annihilation..... the
shocking banality of erasure..... but it is not a shock at all just the fatalistic excrement of a
nihilistic fool.... the beetle roles the ball of shit ever expanding sectors of terroristic
proliferation penetration causing making to be the same,,, the same shit.... & every day as
the sun rises as the god having been dismembered, a god who has not been properly
buried, burned gathers itself together amidst the digestion of the woman.... a god which
ascends from out of the darkness this oblivion of dispersion to be recast as eternal each day
ambiguity is daily...
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this these insatiable decorum shatters
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bow down ensnare my desire these raging desires
ruin inspire
no no no not me...
never that
finally glad to be at your side.... she is out not so crazy wants more & more wants it
deep deep wants more & more continually requests this never satisfied yet still
affectionate... how sweeet that this is even there here possible... like the old lady would
it is all so very different now you write to me from afar i to you & you back but from your
true address you even write a poem to me although i do not understand the french title but
i will eventually look it up... you seem to be so hurt brutalized & so sensitive & aware of
this vile onslaught... it is such a joy to see you awakening from your nightmare... yet, such
as it was, i can never find immediacy with you behind your cage of ice... but that is this
way of things, this scurge to nothingness... it may help to persist in illusion of seeking to
grasp this that which is beyond reach, it may be soothing after all... never very satisfying
though... but i ask for too much.... too much to that point where nothingness offers itself as
a gift for my own single sacrifice... your ink stained fingerprints touch me from distant
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dances amidst winds of interior joy... i loved you from my first glimpse so remote that i can
taste it yet fades faded mere image dissolves amidst blind radiation... my heart is much too
heavy to allow this feather to sore towards these stars... a cold wind blows it down into
this icy abyss... i try to smile but it cracks into deafening sorrow... this opening is eclipsed
via closing... chance is not enough in this bargain of no escape no exit.... risk is merely
another luxury for indolent parasites... for these that true instance of risk is simply
subversion, criminality... you say that you cannot trust, cannot open yourself in your state
of paranoia, you beckon that you will persist in talk... such a sadness suffocates this breath
amidst this singular opening... a chance yet one which is mutilated through this sickening
rape torn gentle being... no longer able to trust to love for that beast lashed one to many
times... fucking her when she was locked up in a cage amidst her mental lobotomy... that
foul bastard... DIRTY dirty boy.... he deserves to die like no other... that wretched liar... oh
it still has not taken this gift this bouquet placed there right there here an offering
of esteem a gift
is it a gift or is it poison?
what is this? why so generous? or is this questioning still ridden with epidermal
paranoia? i want her real real bad... there is no having... no possession... this is not it... this
is not what is sought... this infantile wish to have what will be vanquished in this having...
this having deferred so this slime can preserve this wish... this desire... this is not it... there
is no possession... only entrappment... captivity... these wishes ... this having... i want her ...
a gift ... one that she must wish to share... unexpects... immersing... sliding ... licking...
taste... touch... i want what i can have... what she will give me... her soul is her own... that i
cannot possess... there is no possession... there cannot be... grasping touch caress... each
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loving you there amidst festive dimension
singular ineffable chance not at all there unreal here fruit dances alterior
transfiguration banal self-similar pathetic aesthetic sham perfect becoming shit on this wild
child
display cosmic eternity casts across project disciplinary act mortality postulates
endless proliferation of pathways upon seductive pathways ever new surprises ever new
ways mixing erasing ways these dance shine burst forth this dance fluxile
swirls of this same brew this same stove one teaspoon black peppercorns
teaspoon coriander pulverizes this mortar handful each stone dates dries figs
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sativa pulverizes
that song is playing that she another this nameless one put on that night she brought
me back amidst cats to show me her leather toys... her pussy tasted so good that i went
back several times... we awoke as strangers in our embrace... my eyes blistering with cat
hair not to return... she must have thought i was a little boy... and so i was & am....
another is that one another story another one that sickening ambiguous whore...
frentic membrane lerches ... this one orchestrates this amibiguity in which others
suffocate... mental sadist seeks out that weakness to destroy... she whispers gazing at the
opposite wall, 'femme fatale...' she lusts after these killing fields... wishes to kill, to see... to
feel how it feels to kill another... to turn murder into suicide this subtle strategy of a
psychopath ... lunges amidst all to test her own ridiculous power... a joke... she is not this
only one... there are many across this virus... it is so nice that some are more skillfull at
warding off this catagion of that damned proliferation... pathways of destruction diverge
yet synchronize amidst that end... it will not work... how could it when all of these little
things here & there call themselves to mind sitting in remembrance these sickening tricks
that one lives on in his lying destruction grasping his little black book... lies his heroin
sucking cock dreams... she has found she says a him compatible with her own appetites...
he will merely be another victim of this vampiress... another notch another set of photos
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another page another expanse of sexual history... oh how banal absurd ugly she is disaster
happening... what a joy that there are persons who are not even animals yet... it
sucks that i really dig this one but she is so damaged that she will not ever let anyone in to
meet her...
yet, there is something starting even if it will remain betwixt two glass cages...
there has been announcement to all of those yet only one really matters, and
her, simply for medical reasons... the others could all go to hell for all i care...
i just wrote a really good song by remembering an old one... for this is a new space &
protestant nun... she has made herself one... retrospective lurching... yet better than before
engulfed impishly succombs perverse sadistic thrill-ville... that death of a sister is no excuse
these floors were so thirsty that they sucked it all up to this utter point of dryness...
thank god i came home late... at least from this point of view of time zone differentiation...
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this light keeps going off sit here thinking more...
i will quit this now & go take a shower & jack off....
it goes down down & down descends sucks out away it leaves
voice comes on talks what has just happened ears discern crackle shat dream implodes
another one it turned out to be not that bad after all something at least amidst this cast
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there is no access to this other singular
he sits for some time listens looks intense awareness this last time better make the most
broke
not broken but broke here now for at least another five days this will be this state of
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someone take these dreams away
two anglican priests hypocrite bastard political dickheads exploiters leaders of men idiots
strangle this last king with these guts of that last priest
slash to death these vile lawyers... or at least teach them how to talk & write
like homo terraneans
a be tt er w a y j u st b e ca u s e y o u r p a r an o i d
wa n t t o h ea r i w a nt e d mo r e th an i c ou l d s t e a l mo n k ey s e e
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mo n e y d o love is blin d t a k e a sm ile keep it i
sh e e p g o t b l a ck m a i l e d a g a i n th e n i a m d o ne i c a n g
o h om e u n k n o w n p l a n e u n d e r n e a t h t h is b r id g e i s p r u n g a l
e a k f i s h e a t t h e se ha v e n o f e e l i ng s th e re in th e w a y s o m e t h i
ng i n t h e way t o t h is t e e n s p i r i t i m e t w a l k e d h o m e t h i s
p e r s o n t h is w a l k s o w n t h i s s t r e e t u p t h e s e s t a z i r s t h i s po i
s s l o w l y b u t su r le y s h e t h r ows t h e s e t h r e ea d s t o t h is wi
a n c es taste touc h s wal l ows suck danc e d ream xs s r eal r e al sa swc scar
lon g v down entire bac k teacher thi s her this lick lick hutg sl ee o p sl s l sle
ep gras p her she is here love this he re lo b love this lover love4 r i k l i
p r o j e ct
v he was caught outside without his glasses didn't have his wallet n ot even a key
to get by the first barrier i hoisted him to his window his feet sticking out he asked my
name told his assembling the list to send out across terrain this dull thro b pain
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begins with this first inhalation it simply is such as to scream foul against winds
a labyrinth whi spers g lances conceal dance smooth over bodies wax & wane w ish feel
dista nce shatter immediate hungry absence sucks within inside burns r ot down this little
red candle burns amidst sc atters winds spit v omit through eyes clogging up space netwo
rks of cancerous f i ber webs proliferate spin around lumpy vascular channels surv eil via
opening harvest these sp ecial traits slash burn send anew recurring innocence conjures
hover across whorls invisible traces e thereal dissemination so ap & propaganda erases
smother vibrations bounce back & f orth whisper for ears skin this opening of s ilence
absorbs shocks scatter betwixt seeps out these cracks amidst teflon gray skies frown
down blanket earth dance this darkne ss spreads s uffocates with its shouts of blistering
frantic gnaws scrape away teeth erode clench relative chemical imbalanc e soft fresh
breezes visit pass beyond upon into above within vegetable stand standing there be hind
stand sell bargain vegeta bles work peddles sun ripened fru it walk along towards ahead in
vision subtle glances quiet turn head grasps hand see eyes walk together immerse
teleological journey walk anywhere up down over across inside this place this place
where everything happens just now present stand grasp tear off pull reposition fee l
grasp rub massage suck descend down li ck swallow suck across eat among within over
under suck reach that point this place suc k eat tug tease eat it up amidst suck down
hardy swallows
just re membered her again we together sitting in the library corridor t alking
about sexual ecstasy & transgression we knew e ach other not & would never know each
other but only something about this other this surface casting to that wind in each case
almost as a transmutation of each into that other each saw this w hich that other had to
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offer what this one was what shined across each was seduced by this light to become this i
my earliest memories, those first imprints that burned across my soul, these, this
thought, conjures this image, jungle fire, this barely seen rage o f faces affirms faces... this
time, now, there are no collectiviti es, no public/private, no aggregates, their only each, th
ese, each, this face, this opening, this sacred affirmation ......
i could never spell your n ame but that does not matter for i did not write it down
this vast playground surveillence camp baby sitting ranch those these discordant ill
settled seeking sucking dissatisfied insatiable ones i am here where each one you were
there this terrestrial expan se interstitial happening these every each these orchestratio ns
activities movings here around about lives these pale carcasse s gripping netting upons
futile facades substitutions these venomous parasitic posers from hell it is all the same this
sam e thing way sending there is no door here many search move about around but all for
naught this best which offers is merely posing parasitic wishing merely to brush up on its
tea party charm i wa nt the best of both worlds, i want my cake will eat it too etc etc...
charm boy charm girl living charmed lives in a financi ally subsidized world hypocrits to
this very end lying shallow ly veiled poor poor poor bad bad bad actors so so so very very
ve ry satisfied with their own self perceived portrayed display a midst this very narrow
water engulfed surrounded space herd enslaved comotose numbing bodmorphs never
dancing always behaving he tells me that all i suffer is who i am this may be true if that
who is this imprisoned subject subjected ent iced entwined beaten down confined
maybe this very act disr uption dissent irrelevance in its attunement amidst these
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indigenous immediate immanent rhythms erupts this affirmation this these s houts ecstatic
joy this possibility.... wo! start that one ov er... & a little slower... these thank merely
chance this activity being appropriate freely given as it was is not contemplated pro jected
it is clear certain this patho logical condition it may even be too late for preemptive
measur es yet it may not be too late this is a certain question it is h ere it is now it is there
sends this there persists this truth only if this is pursued just this paths imp stands up from
its repose in that over fluffy arm chair stretches out its body yawns looks towards that
bedroom where it can sleep a long time before it h as to get up & move itself to its site
performative operation t o where it will function nice imp walks over that way stumbl es
almost knocks off this lamp catches it puts it into its proper place lopside saunters over
slams into that white wall holds itself up inplace burps dances with its ears as hair sways
across amidst enamel this paint there sweat beads stream drains down over cheeks it
whispers itself for immediacy amidst mattress & sheets imp guides itself across wall hall
contours slides th rough motion smacks sudden amidst invisible wall runs right int o this
one it stands holds arms perverse shines amidst jolts wind dance it smiles asks where are
you going my friend it is your birthday what the fuck is wrong with you why did you let
her g o by she was there holding out her thumb for you just you tonig ht fuck you're
fucking pushin' thirty in nine-hundred & ninety five days you will not trust yourself you
think that it is bad no w, just wait till then that next time why in the hell do you wan t to
take care for that uncertain next it all persists as tenu ous yet it is here now this space
shines imp looks back confuse dr enches ambiguity confusion illusion open whispers i am
not quite sure yet it seems that this calls me over shouts dimension sings despair indecision
feels its nebulous hold grasps its bloody body smears through eyes cries has not a clue
fractures matrices dance possibilities erupt shades shadow gray surge throbs & throbs on
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sends this shatters cast about around proximity immediacy rocks space this here now
throws body forth perverse laughs this ugliness truth ridiculous scatters honesty obsesses
absurd work meaningless foolish time spent for mere shit a life thrown away into this
festering heap of joyous intentions nothing sucks this all dry betwixt faces laugh many
ways to die myself ourselves themselves we they all everyone world life this stupid banal
redundant jabber simply cannot deal with the obvious shatter heap explosion implodes
this that is simply dumb chance ashes to ashes dust to dust chance accident event life to be
dead silence coaleses vibration residues trace quiver for no ears eyes
this all goes & comes back around to this invisible point look at your face today
you are so far away do not even know where you are
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to here knows when
beckoning the unrest of this soul to dance
logic rationality exterminates chickens people whatever you want it is all the
same the same extermination eradication many eye witnesses this annihilation this murder
via logic ratio incites illogic irratio screams of despair violence more extermination more
aesthetic styles... this herdist pods grow tired of illogic irration... ho hum... this style bores
me... plus, it is getting out of hand.... reassertion of logic ratio .... more exterminate
eradicate.... more of the same... continuous flow.... twenty-four hours a day, seven days a
week.... excremental economy... god & satan heave ho a sixty nine position licking laughter
gurgles away away today... she said that i should get my eyes dilated as soon as
possible in that this was not just a forgettable problem, one which happens to everyone at
this age & beyond, but that there was possibly a torn fiber or some such thing especially
with the occasional flashes of light... yet, it was not glaucoma, so I would probably not be
going blind too soon, yet, there is certainly no guarentee... at least it will be possible to go
get it checked out soon, if not in the next month, then a few months if corporate health
insurance kicks in along with dental & accident insurance... these management slugs these
foul control freak bureacrats do all they can to keep me ineligible ... stab you in the heart
with a smile of concern on their faces.... these foul stinking bastards.... piss on them all... do
not equivocate violence.... green leaves of all shapes sizes quiver rock dance shake this
these impacts this caress of invisible breezes swirls of winds... five nails stick out of the
porch railing from a two by four having been painted over bent back serving no probable
function simply there encrusted with cobwebs no longer used simply collecting dust... the
little kittie came around the corner stood wiggled weirdly walks into the house passes
across porch scans explores space seems as if it wishes to move in... i have set food out for
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it some canned mackeral hope that it eats it before the flies get to it... i can't let it move in
apprehend peculiar wildness of each one... a tiny bug flies around, whirls in & out of the
space then away... a strange noise grinds behind me, shakes like chains from the parking
lot across the fence, at least i suppose this is from whence it seems to come, not from the
upstairs neighbor... i went out to throw away the garbage & to deposit the recyclables...
ran into a lady who held the cat in her hands, said it was the lady upstairs' cat .... we spoke
about who we were, this other returned... i told her about the mail problem last week...
will go now to get ready for the event clean myself dress get ready to walk to
witness exit the king having returned shattered amidst this event
seeking to remember this clever turn of phrase which welled on my lips as I walked to the
space it is now slipping has slipped it dissolves as if into mist it was never there at all
although there was something words vibrating across mesentery not knowing which ones
not there as if these had been stolen from me in the night my head was turned for just a
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brief spell now it is all different yet in an unexpected way an unknown way each word all
prior words have lost their resonance are falling away their luster disappears these shine
no more simply weigh heavily down upon a soul which has been once again given a
thorough shake barriers cracked a new anguish uncertainty brutal awareness a novel yet
interminable sense of this which sets before there i seek to remeber to go back before this
disturbance to return to this more friendly abyss i sit it does not come it will not come
this intoxication of laughter only fades too soon this illusion dissolves faster & faster
in the face of that which will never be seen felt heard this horror this truth this strange term
of fulfillment racing towards turn to look at both sides back throughout across this infinity
of all directions each all possible possibilities everything this still races forward distraction
less & less compelling until there is not even a cry of despair only breathlessness remains
little whispers float to my inner ears buzz these teeth in pale light tragedy & comedy lose
attraction as one feeds off the other one needs that other in this endless oscillation of grasp
touch involves seduces to movement breath in & out inflation deflates expands with this
next breath sucks through dry hardened lips cracked these fade away i am left without
these any longer without as the spider sits hovers in its silky secretion suspends i turn
away look inside hear listen feel breath releases hold tinge of pain it has become stranger
than strange wind knocks out away urgency flies body sets happens art lies to me creation
fabrication deranges walk around scurry about looking for something anything just to look
to look to search it must be there even if it is not for i must not cannot simply sit even if
this scatering is this beating of plastic keys this deafening silence thrusts explodes cannot
will not must not succomb yet this is not what is there is no sorrow nor is there laughter
yet i lie for there is what is here my body this room on & on it goes out & out i am
on this inside if i can even utter this for this is & it goes out around across as far as i can
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fathom there is no inside certainly no outside of all that is even all that is is simply words
there is what i see & probably more at least others have shown me more than i would have
seen for myself i hope i have shown others a thing or two myself i know that i have now &
then if i can trust the reports at least they have been made at all
i cannot cling to this opening there is nothing to cling to i can hold on to things but i am
going nowhere at all for now i pick it up put it down & all of these very familar things i am
sure you know what i mean or at least can imagine but there is no choice between illusion
& reality for both each is true this is a bit of wisdom which holds me suspended in
between i fall & fly at the same instant always staying where i am i hear the little cat meow
outside i run to give it what food i can this time egg noodles with cream of mushroom
soup usually on puts in tuna as well but i had none of this this time even as i sense a certain
futility in making this record if this is what i am doing i am not sure yet i write i seek this
something shoots out of me this urgency persists even in a certain weird despair a world
beyond hope or futility each fights for predominance as speeling becomes a problem yet
this once again reenacts this mystery & a mystery it shall remain between inference &
deference i am not sure if i wish to write that last term what i wish to inscribe is this space
in between my breathless body & another lying there dead this sacred space forbidden
even to apollo & dionysus between my eyes & this body between darkness & light this
drive toward sameness & this revolt of difference a space beyond love & strife a difficulty
emerges which may simply be let go or possibly one wishes it were so simple for raising
this question may not take away the reality in this sense this question is not an illusion of
breach of revolt against this inference yet it is an illusion nevertheless attuned to this reality
which itself is just another illusion for i am grappling in shadows these dancing amidst
glimmers threads of light asking this question plays well with my disdain for mere
submission i wish to tackle this as a problem yet i do not expect a solution to the problem
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in the sense that this problem will disappear for me my making this a problem is a
playfulness a deception seizing this as a question but i expect no answer this may be my
alternative to sheer fanciful delusion of total comedy for i fear that this laughing vision of
eternity here preceeded that tearful shock horror provocation prediction assertion this
impending eclipse of vision this withdrawal of all that i loved my fascination replaces itself
with terror sorrow grief i believed in santa clause once also the tooth fairy the easter bunny
god i believed it all dwelling in a land of safety love limitless possibility this timeless
plethera plenum...
great expectations... pure visons dreams abstract hope... joy love cherishing meaning
this lovely world a sense a purpose an aim... all of this all of this a narrow world of order
direction a task an assignment a closure of horizons... certainty clarity light shines down
upon within amidst all is perfect all has just become perfect all is to be perfect once again...
in this perfecting of perfection... sets up the fall... tragedy... to be redeemed with comedy
laughter... the limit... no one ought to go beyond this laughter... ultimate safety valve.... yet
normative proscription is simply a bluff of intimidation... for the most part keeps things
together... only explodes now & then... oh well... why, let's call that bluff...
drama pretense act this belief actors spectators alike... implodes..... away he crawls
change so suddenly almost imperceptibly as i moved along this path each piece of magic
each illusion evaporated somehow a dark surge beckoned for its freedom broke down
these artifices one by one disintegration began ceaseless hunger suffocates each as it calls
out 'Next!' what a strange weird path this makes as if orchestrated through necessity a way
of preparation many many safe havens until one is ready to stare this blank passage exit
face to look even this itself is illusion this event to give this fate some dignity an
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importance far beyond its significance this eclipse of all significance ... i must cease this
train must do something must distract myself let these thoughts these scrawling simmer
yet grow cold distant this cannot be there all the time all the time that is it must not be but
is this just another illusion another dreadful expectation? i will take this up again later...
there are many spiders in my bathroom which sit silently suspending in their webs... i
noticed something stunning awe fascination returned new life blossomed these dark
pondering displaced i watched a movement by the spider... the shower sprays out a fine
mist of hot water this tiny room bellows fills with steams... miniscule drops of water clings
to threads this spider rubs its leg across a fiber gathers together a drop puts this tip of its
leg to its mouth & drinks... i had never seen this before
my recent reluctance to trust runs along these depths of my horror in this face of
this known unknown death... it does not matter how or when simply that it
encroatches inevitable... or so it seems from this perspective... yet it seems that these two
travelling companions will diverge are saying their farewells... or trust may not apply to
death... why this is is still unclear yet an inkling suggests itself... simply a gift of chance
good luck this time... or this plus... perhaps a new state of being opens for transfigured
feelings... a space ripe for myself for rages desire... this happy dance shares kindred
spirits... not to seize hold of life for as to feel betrayed by mortality... not to say hello as to
be betrayed by others wallow these ghosts... despite whether these are true etc. truth
matters little in this neighborhood of belief... ambiguity... truth may be... another belief...
these walked hand in hand for some time one mirroring the other & back again a viscious
betrayed by life in that it will end to fix one's gaze on this future event one not
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who had been there in intimacy... this these beckon a sense of equivocation pulsating
around this word trust... also of betrayal... a breach of trust shattering expectation...
difference these feelings of disappointment & betrayal... difference mortality my life &
others... in a sense life cannot betray in this way another body can betray... a life only
betrays in a way of showing forth happening as itself... a life disappoints with respect to
certain expectations this happens only on the way... death is no disappointment nor is it a
betrayal... only another person or even oneself can betray ... another oneself can
disappoint... difference exudes oneself & another... someone betrays i can cast this body
from my life or seek some kind of settlement... if someone disappoints i can cast them
my essential vision of this other... yet if i dissappoint myself i cannot run away & live to
tell about it cannot begin afresh cannot deal with this... there is only staying alive on the
planet... somehow some way... this most hideous betrayal shocks myself lowering my
expectations vis-a-vis others... giving away this chance for a little monotonous comfort...
expectations wishes hopes dreams aspirations ultimately *** but not yet *** tamed
extinguished in death... for if this must be & if there is already a built-in resistence to this to
the extent that it provokes revolt illusion deception denial etc. etc...
bitter sweet destiny seeks rapture this joy opens groans shout dances around surges
wild fire... trick find space attunes possibilities... space... persons... an opening oscillates
amidst this tenuous horizon of closure... this eruption of life... this chance... ecstasy in the
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a tiny plant a crack a seeping creeking out
excrements
prison
now
it
*
let that death of this one i love be that most
bitter day... a day of profound contemplation of the vastness of this love the seething joy
this other brought to my life... & let this bitterness when it comes be sweetened by visions
of you by memories of your little ways words this feeling of your kiss caresses my cheek... i
can live as you remain still in my heart walking with me having become one with me...
having become many as you dwell in other's hearts as well... let us speak of you together
let us caress each other as your smile beams within our souls our visions coalesce stream in
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& out amidst tender love... i have you i am not abandoned alone only me without you... i
could not bear your obliteration... yet as i write this i sense an absurdity... & i feel a strange
encoraching numbness... you cannot be obliterated yet if you are i will not even sense this
absense there will be no sensed absense... at least no absense without a trace... yet this
trace fills my heart with joy & love as your face shines for my gaze... i can still make love
with you my eyes closed alone... a trace is enough to feel your presence... your trace dies
with me this one trace as others still harbor your memory your proliferating directions
become one with many others... obliteration comes only after no trace no memory remains
yet by then it could not matter... thus i will never have to bear your obliteration... i will
never live through your death... your soul will explode into this jubilant dance of many
suns... your memory will persist long enough to help each of your loves through this
journey... this is long enough... even if one could ponder these infinite effects amidst all
being of even this tiny butterfly... yet this is a tautology though one of profound
implications... but distant from these immediate concerns of lovers & loved... at least it
does not introduce strife amidst love... strife may be inevitable yet its eruption may be rare
if it is not conjured into presence via artifice... this is to suggest that intense joy may not
require intense sorrow, nor love, strife... while purity may be illusion, this does not
what these abbreviations, fictions quarentined, torn from amidst living, from situation.....
what these refer to these positive directionalities display surge their own indigenous
events... as when love eclipses strife or vice versa... this opens a dimension beyond
proportion, mixture... although it may as yet remain this same, not pure, whatever this
term means anyway... it means not-x as it has only a negative content etc, etc...
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fierce tears wretched wails on my knees face cascades hands he sat having told
i cried & cried this pain this wound ran very deep
i had not even a chance to see you again not even to reach out to you with words or a
this trace of your smile could not satisfy compell subdue this violent terror raging
for you were no longer what you were when we had loved
you had ceased to be this long ago this you was already dead to me i
remember that day when you died this magic flew away leaving only these dry
my love did not perish yet was transfigured through this rupture of position
resignation to provision losing of you tiny flickers of hope crest this horizon
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whispering someday... someday...
for this hope was fueled by a call one night less than a year ago we talked shared this
joy & laughter as we mingled our most recents experiences you told me before you
departed you loved me i thanked you & said i love you too... only to compare this true
expression of myself with the hideousness of that current situation of extreme bitterness ...
that night i took many many pills seeking death... to get out to cut the knot... failure
insured a pleasant day of vomiting... i am glad i didn't die... for this allowed me to live... &
to hope to share your life again some how some way some distant day... you had already
saved me once... you never will know... your face... i had thought of you... & this thought of
you kept me alive... this allowed me to feel this trickling of an incipient surge, this sacred
amidst my life... this was my true love... in this dream this dream of futility this horror of
unexpected death your death this abrupt death which exterminated this secret hope
dwelling in my heart this possibility within my soul... this was all gone... you are gone... for
you were not you... but many obscure doorways... you were being sought... i was seeking
to find you... only to find that you had died... not for myself but after the event through
hearsay... never to see your face even your dead face again... unless i dig you up... yet that
may not be a very good idea... perversely romantic though it be... yet even to have seen
your dead face... or precisely to have seen your dead face may have been an even more
crushing blow... for then it would have be over... at least a sublime hope remains amidst a
domain of hopelessness... there is always the possibility that it was all just a very bad
dream.... yet this is still mere illusion one more along this path
another illusion
is is possible to break free of illusion or does this mean death illusion one after the other
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one more consolation one more labyrinth one more cave one more blinding sun one
more illusion within illusion within no distinguishing marks this illusion merely falls away
only then becoming illusion what is now is not illusion yet unless the face the head is
smashed up against the glass ... another illusion... perhaps... one can wait to see this for
oneself... it would seem that this question is irrelevant... especially if illusions betray
themselves... or at least each illusion has been betrayed ... certainly there will be more... yet
is it necessary to guess which will be illusion next ... does it matter... one can only be
without illusions if one has never yet seen a world explode before these eyes... illusions lie
scattered across the dirt half covered in mud worn by erosion cracked by the blistering
heat of the black hidden sun... illusions are artefacts... it is only conjectured that what is
deemed truth reality etc etc is illusion... this has not happened yet... at most this conjecture
is a wish.... a threat... illusions die all at once suddenly... until this death this quick
departure there is conjecture & command... it could be written that command this
command of this conjectured illusion was itself only conjecture at one time which wished
to destroy some other commanding conjectured truth now de facto illusion... whether it
was or not... it lies in ruins... that is enough.... yet ruins become sacred mystical
spiritualized one forgets immediate life references a battle ensues concerning the myth... it
is time to go to bed on the canvass military fold out cot on loan from my building
manager... sweet dreams... maybe i will dream of cows...
leaves sway racy breezes kiss across spiral stalks jet out reach through air
grasp this scintille sky patient flowers bloom begin one two three many this dance this joy
opens patience waits eternity its time is come now it dances bathes these rays
free cats sleep in the afternoon sun yawn stretch clean with tongues gaze across fluid air
look out to see thunder quakes fire engine helicopter wonder frightens sound travels leaves
calm still returns white cat lies face across fury soft back black comrade
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hired slaves come stalk through this space of wildness rape chop maim torture take it
all away leave marred hell all is destroyed it looks like a bad haircut worlds devastate dies
cats disappear for days sense witness this horror lovely space away infiltrates slime
vermin paid to destroy simply to keep alive blowing life breath into banal control freak
aesthetic dominion conquers rips up tears out crops back mirror of hate
little grassy bugs run to & fro their lives their time to dance all is dancing lovely sacred
opens intrusion attack instigation legs blown off children cripple beggars die starvation
keep it bad make it worse ugly to hide your own rapid rabid degeneration nihilist
excretions... you...
death bleeds out decompose rot festers fetid flesh powerful life remains though
scarred wells back fights flees returns this inexorable pressure of flux flows out shatters
light agains bathes this space casts shadow dimension opens perspective cats return
sleepy sunshine caress flowers no more simply prescribed vegetation domestic not wild
ants crawl along lines back & forth whisper sweet messages of abundance there
but all this dreams these are... a magical world of slow dissolution death divine dies....
these shedding skins crackle on this doorstep.... striving towards this sun only to be burned
alive.... dark clouds drift across haunting blue sky... night comes upon us quickly cool
winds scratch at our faces... all is doomed all of this eventually there will be nothing it will
all fall away this wonderous accident will certainly necessarily perish... each of our lives
each death of this one we see each one merely rehearses this final whimper this explosion
this demise... wildness erupts screams out downgraded to domestication wildness dispels
this pale beast triumphs yet even wildness dies replaces this silent dance of deadly orbs....
surge of feeling gasps this terror at the very thought... these wicked thoughts of honesty...
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this vortex swallows these each one a face disappears shrivels away this laughter fades
away amidst infinite dilution... love is a fleeting flash of light which strikes this face with a
kiss... even this moisture fades away... all will be forgotten... yet this will not matter... the
destruction will come too late to hurt anyone... each rehearsal shows each that this slide is
not such a tramatic event after all... just close your eyes... take a deep breath, it will all be
over soon, this i tell you, it will all be over, you will not even know that the end has come,
you will not see the end, but it will come nevertheless... even magic dies.... yet you won't
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