Michael McConnell

AP Language & Composition

Definition Essay
Draft 03
A chair is…

Of all things that have defined man throughout time, perhaps no other object has defined man

more than the chair in which he sits. A chair tends to be seen as something a person lounges on for

comfort. And has become more than four pieces of wood nailed to a board. Chairs come in many

varieties today, but most of them build upon concepts as old as the pyramids. The Egyptians used chairs

to show status, as did the Romans, and early Germanic tribes. A chairs implied “I have the power”

because they meant that someone had extra money to spend.

What defines a chair? Physically a chair is a piece of furniture that is comfortable enough to

squat on. Usually chairs consist of a flat surface to perch on, fleshed with soft, comfortable, and squishy

cushioning and fabric. Some chairs have legs to keep the sitter off the ground. This practice goes back to

the middle ages when people became aware of the vile diseases that could be festering in the cold and

wet mud. Tables keep our food off of the ground and after awhile people realized that hovering around a

table and eating was uncomfortable. Someone brilliantly converted the table concept into smaller,

thinner, simpler tables built lower to the ground. Eureka! The bench was born. People sat on these baby

tables, today we call them benches. Utilizing tables and chairs kept people off of the ground, and out of

the repulsive slime festering on the ground lurking with the unknown. Today chairs have new purposes,

and looks. Examples of the new ideas of chairs include transformer chairs (couch by day, bunk-bed by

night), chairs that glow, chairs shaped like toothbrushes, cubes, eyeballs, the possibilities are endless.

One furniture artist has even designed penis and vagina furniture! The question remains; what is a chair?

The simple answer is that a chair is something we sit on, but a chair can mean so much more.
 If Joe the Plumber walked into a metropolitan apartment he would see abstract art in the form of

furniture, and interestingly stylistic use of color. The paintings on the walls may not depict an exact

picture or even contain color, but instead they show of skewed and twisted shapes. The whole apartment

may be themed in black and white tones. Tired from a long flight Joe frantically looks for anything to

rest his head, and butt on, but nothing familiar catches his eye! His metropolitan friend points to what he

refers to as the couch – a toothbrush like apparatus with cloth covered bristles which seem to sway back

and forth like the as if to be caught in the waves of the ocean. Joe cautiously slouches sluggishly into the

fields of octopus tentacles; he was surprised to find that the “couch” as his friend put it, is amazingly

comfortable. The chairs cannot be defined as the four legged flat surfaced wood we know and love

anymore. Now Chairs come in many shapes, sizes, and styles. The “toothbrush” chair for example

shows us where our recliner may be headed. Other examples of peculiar lounges of the gluteus maximus

may include chairs that mount the ground on wheels which swivel and turn, couches that seem to climb

the wall like a centipede, or even a Persian rug that has been sculpted into a recliner! The possibilities

seem endless. The chair one sits in defines our taste and lifestyle.

Chairs can also be a symbol of power, or wealth. The throne of England, physically, a golden

chair encrusted with jewels and elaborate carvings has a powerful and symbolic meaning. The throne

represents imperial power. For centuries monarchs have used thrones to show their supreme authority

over their subjects. In early American homes, only the head of the house sat in a chair. He was in a chair

to show that he was indisputably in-charge. Chairs have been used to show how important an individual

is, or assumes they are. The office of the president displays the importance of the president by a very

cushy, comfortable, overly elaborate chair and oak desk. The reason for this is to show the importance of

the presidential office. People over indulge on elaborate, lavish, ornate objects to show their status.

Sprouting from ages of tradition, the chair is a luxury. Chairs once meant social status of the rich, and
now they are found commonly in any average Joe’s home. However, they still hold some representative

power. Today we use them as a symbol of relaxation. All I want to do when I get home is sit down for

awhile and possibly watch something on the boob tube, or nap. Chairs define many different things. A

Chairs purpose may be simple like relaxing, or as complex as the imperial power of a monarchy, the

chair has many different personalities and meanings.

“Chair” is a word in the English language that means many things. So the questions isn’t “What

is a chair?”, rather, the question should be “What is a chair to you?” A chair is something we sit on, but

defining one takes more effort than ice skating backwards on thin ice. Chairs catalyze our personalities

and tastes. A toothbrush with long swaying tentacles, or a wooden bench that seats ten both serve a

practical purpose. We use them to relax while we eat meals with our families, or watch a favorite

television show. In the same light, a chair or throne shows power or imperial superiority. The short

definition of a chair is defined as something we plop down on. But what someone else sees as a chair

may be a luxurious throne to someone else. Emilio Ambasz --a Spanish revolutionary-- once said “The

large executive chair elevates the sitter. And [the chair] is covered with the skin of some animal,

preferably your predecessor.” The more important people feel, the more elaborate their chair tends to

become. What makes up a chair, whether we define a chair physically, mentally, or metaphysically;

chairs will be defined by the individual.